#its going to be okay.....i dont trust her with anything but i just wish i had her reassurance specifically. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mournings-stars · 4 months

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so lute and velvette… opinions on what they would like to receive as gifts? 👀

OHHH OK i got carried away and did how theyd react to gifts but trust i followed the prompt at first

so lute doesn’t like gifts (this is a lie). if you get her anything she’ll just throw it away (she will treasure that shit til the day she dies). just dont get her a work-related gift and she’ll love it forever

velvette on the other hand loves gifts — she expects them and you know it’d be a death wish to get her anything related to her work — even if its shallow, she’d rather have that because something work related feels undermining

say you get lute flowers? she’ll appreciate them in private because no one ever gets her anything, and she doesn’t know when she’ll get a spontaneous “they made me think of you” gift again

get velvette flowers? that woman is expecting flowers with every gift you give her because flowers can’t be a gift again silly, now they’re just common courtesy

but don’t worry, velvette is gushing about you all over social media because you meet her expectations so well — she posts things like “never settle for less” and its more and more every time

lute is discreet about her fawning. rather than broadcasting her appreciation, she’ll find herself staring at the flowers she’s been keeping healthy with fresh trims and water whenever it was needed and thinking she should probably do something to show her gratitude — so that you weren’t just giving her something unwarranted ofc. not because she wanted you to start giving each other gifts

of course that would be exactly what happens

i don’t think velvette would put too much effort into getting you a gift, like shes not thinking about what you might like in return or anything, but if she sees something you’ll like?? (and she knows what you like) best believe she’s getting that no mater the price

and vel is not the type to take off price tags. not because she wants you to feel bad about her spending so much money, but because she wants you and everyone else to know that she’s going to do everything possible to keep you happy, so that price tag going on her story with a casual “anything for my baby”, is 1000% percent a threat to the world

i have half a mind to think she makes sure to buy you the most obscenely expensive things when you’re not there to object and tells you it was final sale, but “it’s okay, love, we’ll go and get you something else, yeah?” and thats how she gets you because she knows you love her gifts, and she will be getting you more

with lute, you’d definitely be the one buying things on a whim. however, she would make you return things that were too pricey, only to find something she’d want to get you — conveniently she’d forget to check the tag, or she’ll talk to the shop owner until she got the price down

“what about this?” she’d ask when she saw something she wanted to get you, and you’d have to ask her whether it was for you her her. she’d lie, obviously, and end up finding a way to give it to you in the future

lute would also tell you not to get her anything then be walking with adam down the promenade and tell you to “catch” as she tossed you something she got for you

and that girl is 100% watching to see you fawn over it, smiling when she sees how excited you are only to be pulled out of it by you coming back to give her something in return because you just knew if she told you not to get anything, that meant she got you something. like it’s basically a competition at this point and she counts that as a loss — and lute does not lose

velvette, on the other hand? not a competition; she’s winning either way. she has a partner who gets her gifts that meet her expectations, and she has a partner she can give gifts that meet her expectations

but lute’s competitiveness about gifts is hot so who’s really winning…

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin lute #hazbin hotel heaven #hazbin velvette #lute hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lute #lute x reader #lute #hazbin hotel velvette #velvette x reader #velvette hazbin hotel #hazbin headcanons #hazbin x reader #lute headcanons #velvette headcanons #hazbin

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jazzyblusnowflake · 2 months

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In what ways do you believe V would display romance and affection?

V is... a difficult one smh. she hardly even allows anyone to touch her, and the solver had altered her AI beyond the possibility of her being able to relearn a new personality easily- or at least not overnight. Its like a semi-perminant trauma response.

so lets see-

V is prideful, even if she doesnt flaunt it like J, she couldnt bring herself to actually face people when shes doing something kind for them, she usually does it from behind the curtain. she doesnt want anyone to know she has anything soft about her, shes still scared of getting hurt, we have seen this several times during the show where she gets put off by the solver when Uzi uses it.

But when in a relationship she had to deal with the fact that the bond has to go both ways. it was... not easy for her to even admit she liked to be in a relationship in the first place. in fact i doubt if any of them even thought about it at all- before they knew what was happening they were all just an inseperable part of eachothers lives, and try as she might, N and Uzi just knew she cared about them lol.

V learned to open up a bit more. She opts for silence rather than flat out lying to peoples faces now, and when she feels ready to share something the others hear her out.

another thing that V does is trying to participate in things N and Uzi suggest. its really not easy to deal with 2 people who are so emotionally charged- so N and Uzi dont blame her for sitting out of activities but she tries to join them just to have the company, like going out around the desolate human cities looking for random stuff and sharing interests, or cuddling in a fort and doodling stuff- maybe even sometimes dancing or looking for clothes and getups. even though she might not participate in the activity herself, she still likes to be present and that itself shows N and Uzi that she cares.

speaking of clothes, Vs time with Lizzy showed her that a part of her still wishes she had the freedom to live as a normal drone for all the time that was robbed of her. she likes to look pretty and she likes to wear pretty outfits... something that she might have not had the choice on even if she had lived all her life as a normal drone. and showing the other two some of the outfits she choses and prettying herself up for her partners is probably a side of her shes not gonna willingly let anyone else see any time soon. N and Uzi arent complaining :p

Initiating any physical affections is something that she does rarely but sometimes even she craves the attention. Uzi and N feel like a cat had chosen to trust them lmao. She used to start really simple like curling her tail around N or Uzi or their leg or tail- she opted to skip hand holding and just go towards hugs or cuddles whenever she wanted the attention or N and Uzi were idly doing something and she just decides to join. sometimes she would demand neck scratches and rubs or head pats, she usually doesnt let anyone simply touch her so those are a big deal. and well if she goes for more like kisses or anything more intimate, she makes sure that her partners are okay with it and that shes not bothering them or forcing them by doing so.

Sleeping. thats it. V hardly allows herself to rest. the fact that she would let herself sleep around N or Uzi or even cuddle with them shows shes immensely trustful and happy of where she is right now. N and Uzi want to expload cuz its like a cat had fallen asleep on them and now they cant move cuz they dont wanna wake her up TvT

i think thats all i have for nowwww >:3

#snow rambles #snowballflo #murder drones #nuzi #vuzi #envuzi #nuziv #uzi doorman #serial designation n #serial designation v #biscuitbites #violetviolence #goldenmemories #violentbitingbiscuits #murder drones envy #envy

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mxqdii · 4 months

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all i want is a part 3 to i like u like that

what happened? - c.b

pairings: colby brock x reader

summary: part 3 of like you like that series!

warning(s): hospitals, memory loss

not proofread

"who are you?" is the question that made colbys heart stop

not literally, but he might as well have died right then and there because the girl he confessed his love to now has no memory of him

"do you know who this is?" the nurse asks

"yeah thats sam" i say confidently and she nods

"okay good, what about her?" she asks

"yeah thats kat" i say and she nods again

"and what about him?" she points to the boy

"i dont know" i mumble

the boy sighs, sam putting a hand on his shoulder

"y/n, this is colby." sam says, pointing to him

i just sit there blankly, not knowing what to say, i cant say nice to meet you if i already know him, fuck i wish i could remember

the next few hours are spent by sam and kat trying to remind me who colby is, telling me stories, showing pictures, everything they can think of

suddenly, i burst into tears, putting my face in my hands

"what? whats wrong?" kat says

"just get out, please, all of you." i say, looking at the three of them

kat sighs, signaling the guys to leave as well.

they all walk out of the room and i pick up my phone, dialing my brothers number

"hello?" he says, answering immediately

"hi matt." i say

"are you okay? we heard about the accident and we're flying to LA in an hour" he says and i smile, sniffing at the same time

"yeah- i-im fine" i say

"why are you crying? what happened?" he asks

"i dont remember who colby is.." i say, almost ashamed

"what?" he asks, confused

"the guy- colby, sam and kat have spent hours trying to get me to remember him but i just dont- and apparently we're dating or something and now theres all these expectations they want from me and i cant-" my rambling gets stopped by matts voice

"okay hold on, calm down. first of all, you and colby are not dating. who told you that??" he asks

"they said we love eachother" i say

"whos they?" matt asks

"sam and kat..?" i say

"well you've never said anything about dating colby, y/n. why would they tell you that if its not true.." matt says

"um.. i dont know.." i say

suddenly i hear an intercom over the phone

FLIGHT 128 BOSTON TO LA, BOARDING NOW

"listen- i gotta go but we'll be there in a couple hours okay?" matt says

"okay.." i say nervously

"dont let anybody in okay?" matt says

"i wont.." i reply

we say our goodbyes and i sit there, feeling uneasy

why would sam and kat, my two best friends, lie to me. saying me and this guy love eachother?? am i just not supposed to trust my best friends now?

i spend the next 30 minutes calling my other friends like tara, jake and johnnie, asking if i ever mentioned a relationship with colby

they all say no.

what the fuck??

what happened?

---

A/N: aaaah some angst! lmk if yall want part 4 😇

TAGLIST:

@opheliaofficial07 @stargirlv0id @strniolo @annaisabookworm @theperson-nextdoor @its-jennarose @thetriplets3 @anythingsamandcolby @richardsamboramylove55 @maddie-1360 @hairinurbutt

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dyketubbo · 6 months

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on a serious note as a black girl that was raised in very ghetto areas like the "had to learn how to fall asleep to gunshots and police sirens every night" amount of ghetto, i get why on a personal level as a viewer sunnys classism jokes just come off as poor taste. you can dislike the jokes and feel tubbo should curb them in more and thats perfectly understandable.

..but thats not why the other eggs are being standoffish. leo and tallulah are dealing with their own trauma and trouble with trusting these new eggs that theyll look for any reason to decide are suspicious and cant be trusted. and its okay for them to have those feelings.. but not okay for them to be rude to the new eggs to the point where they and sunny especially are having self worth issues and growing trust issues of their own over it.

thats the center of conflict here. its that the other eggs arent even being standoffish because sunny is "loud" (as loud as someone who talks through signs can be) and energetic or even because shes bossy and makes poor jokes. its just because of where she came from. its just because theyve decided they dont want to like them so they wont and dont. you cant say its fair for the other eggs to not like her classism and tubbo should just step up and get sunny to quit not because it wouldnt be fair if that was the case but because the source of unfairness is that that isnt the case.

and, on a meta level, you can feel discomforted about the classism jokes as a personal thing. its not even just sunny and tubbo who make jokes in poor taste whether about classism or not. a good chunk of these ccs make poor jokes. a lot of them make a variety of other jokes that can make people uncomfortable. i wish they wouldnt too.

but sunny is a fictional child, the equivalent of maybe like. a 6 year old. and qtubbo, who is an extremely new parent and is just barely an adult himself, just got out of a suicidal spiral where he was literally only staying alive for sunnys sake. on a level of engaging with the story i think both of them can be given some grace. while tubbo could stand to be firmer and put his foot down about the classism more its understandable for him to be frustrated and to tell sunny that there isnt anything wrong with her and she shouldnt put up with people mistreating her and its understandable for sunny to be frustrated too because it isnt about sunny as a person.

if the other eggs had some issue with sunny as a person and how she acts and what they say then sunny and tubbo would both adjust. but thats not the point of the conflict and as viewers we have the power to see the full picture and adjust how we see things based on every part. and from how i and many others see things i really thing going online to post on social media about how much you dislike or even hate this fictional egg child and insulting them and calling them names is just like. not it.

#qsmp #sunny qsmp #sunnysideup qsmp #tubbo #discourse #negative #mask mews #fun fact this is a whittled down version of a much longer post in my drafts lol #felt i could have stood to be more to the point

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mariejordans · 8 months

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I agree Jordan Marie and cate are the best most interesting characters if they're going to kill someone it should be Andre like you said he's useless and also unlikable as a person lmfao he ain't doing anything right. I love cate and I love villains so whatever way they go with her as long as it's believable I'm all for it. My thing with them killing more characters is because we're in the endgame now as in the boys probably has 2 more seasons to go and they're also going to start killing a lot of people like by the end I expect most of the main supes and at least half of the boys to be dead so as the gen v characters get pulled into that they're also going to start getting killed off but idc they better not touch Jordan and Marie I'm not kidding I already have hives thinking about stranger things maybe killing Steve in the last season I don't need this 😂😂😂😂

right EXACTLY jordan marie cate 🔛🔝

i genuinely didn’t expect them to pivot on cate’s character bc i really thought they’d stick with cate wanting to be good/wanting to be a hero, trying to earn her friends’ trust back, but i’m SOOO glad that they’re going the villain/anti-hero route. especially with marie and cate now on opposing sides and them basically being each other’s narrative foils, like i need them to go full on villain with cate like it’s just too good a set up for a really complex relationship between marie and cate.

*sighs* okay so my thing with andre is that he COULD’VE been a really interesting character. like, daddy issues, bisexual, doesn’t really care about being a superhero and lowkey in love with his best friend (the writers are cowards for not making the throuple happen) like there were so many ways his character could’ve been done, but then he ended up being a stereotypical nepo baby. it’s kinda like the writers put little to no effort in his character development and didn’t even try to make him likable 😭 he just constantly gets thrown around by the other characters, he slept with his best friend’s girlfriend, and he’s just kind of a dick in general. really the only thing i found really genuine and likable about andre was his love for luke, and to a certain extent, cate. but beyond that, he’s just not a very sympathetic character to me idk 😭

honestly, i’m not suuper attached to any of the boys characters, maybe it’s bc i always end up taking super long breaks between binge watching but if they decided to start killing off main characters, i think i’d be fine (except kimchie or starlight pls don’t touch them thx) but THEY BETTER NOT TOUCH MARIE OR JORDAN OR I’M STARTING A RIOT IN THE PRIME VIDEO BUILDING FR like you could even take cate from me just dont touch limoreau…

i’m gonna be honest, i kinda wish gen v was less tied into the boys and got to stand on its own more bc i really need homelander to stay FARRRRRR away from marie and jordan and cate. butcher too. but also bc i really liked the college setting but seeing as how we now know the entire college is a scam, it might completely move away from godolkin, which is a shame bc i loved the superhero college-sky high esque concept of it and i wish we had gotten MORE of it before we got into all the plot heavy stuff but…it is what it is ig 🤷🏼‍♀️

#again its early pls excuse my nonsense 😭#gen v #gen v rambles #marie moreau #jordan li #limoreau #gen v spoilers #gen v theories #cate dunlap #andre anderson

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bloodsoaked-gown · 1 year

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pt 8 they are getting longer smh but its niceeee aaaaaaaaaa im so excitedidjaishgohdfgh

monday 9 pm. (payu pov)

Luv wont stop bothering me, so here I am on video call with her and I am explaining her everything that happened last night. 'SO WE NEARLY WERE GONNA KISS BUT THEN WE SLEPT HOLDING HANDS. and thats it.' I sink my head in the pillow, she is screaming giggling like she does watching rom-coms. 'DUDE YOU ARE LIVING IN A DREAM LITERALLY' ' yeah..' I say 'Payu, what is on your mind?' thats enough of her to say for me to rant out everything bothering me. It has been like that since that accident. I am glad to have her. 'you are gonna listen to me quietly okay? and no screaming anymore' i say looking up, she is nodding 'go on babe i have all the time in the world to hear you' 'ew so cliche' i take in a deep breath and go on ' Yeah this sure sounds like a dream, a movie, a story written for a hopeless fool like me by someone like me, But this is not a rom-com. We are not two stars casted to have a happy ending. Our life is different, there is no flowers that wont rot, no butterflies that never die, and no love that wont fade away for me. I am not even sure if he loves me or IF I LOVE HIM. I don't even know what to feel.' 'you dont have to know everything' 'yeah but-' ' no more buts for you, only butts' 'why am i even talking to you?' 'I wonder, why not do me instead?' we both are laughing on the deranged sense of humor 'they will kill me' i say implying about her partner 'they wont have to know' 'STOP IT LUV AHAHAHA'

'But you know payu? you should not stop yourself from letting you feel, I know you have hard time trusting people, but you deserve better than this way of life' 'i like it' 'liar, i have known you for ages.' 'fine, yeah i hate it. yet this is familiar, and there is so much uncertainity, Ayan probably wont even think about me, about the nearly kiss we had, about anything like that.' 'Did he say so?' 'not exactly but you know what happened to him back then right? he hasnt had a girlfriend or even a date ever since.' 'AND HE STILL NEARLY KISSED YOU' 'IT WAS JUST EMOTIONAL CONFUSION' I say with a pain in throat, i wish it is true, that he did not just do it under the influence of emotions and beer, that he wants me as bad as i do. 'girllll, wtf. you are just making your own mind. Did you guys talk about it yet?' i bite my tongue 'oh no, oops, hehe' she is just staring at me 'we both are just kind of weird right now, but we will talk i swear to you.' she rolls her eyes 'you better do or im locking you both in the office for a night' 'you are kidding me?' 'do i look like im joking babe?' 'you are legit insane' 'says you, idiot.'

I finally hang up the call , its been a long call, 1 hr 45 mins. I have to wash dishes and also put up the laundry ughhhh. I am laying on the bed watching the ceiling, man im so tired i want to be pressed inside a big hydraulic pump. I get up and manage to do the dishes while a set of clothes is getting washed. Its 11.15 pm and I am on my bed, thinking about him.

next day in the office . Tuesday

I text Ayan 'why are you avoiding me?' 'me? are you sure its the right person?' I check that its the right name "KALYANAM" written 'I am as sure as one can be' 'I am not avoiding you' 'yeah right. I am the delusional one, sorry.' I close my phone. I hear a few *dings* but I don't have it in me. I get up and make my way to the emergency backstairs. He is avoiding, I was so stupid to have hopes. What did I expect huh? I obviously made him uncomfortable. I should have know that this is how my life is, this is not a fairytale La La Land bullshit. I want to cry but its not easy for me, to cry. I am numb as always. I take out a toffee from my purse and let it melt in me, melt away my rage with sweet sensation, make my dullness savory and flavorful. I take in a deep breath, its okay I am fine. He must have been busy, he wont avoid me for no reason. He must have a lot of responsibilities and work about the Gala, so what if he didn't come down to drink tea with us today, so what if he sat quietly without making an eye contact with me whole time during the ride, so what if he never texted me to look up just to smile widely whenever he passed from my floor. Its okay, he doesn't owe me, I shouldn't let me be affected by this I need to stop acting like a emotional bitch over this, I take in a deep breath and get back to work.

Luv waves at me while I am going back, calling me in the kitchen-n-rest room, so I follow her

'are you okay?' she passes me a cup of coffee, somehow she always knows the right thing to do 'yeah?' i say taking a sip, its perfect, bitter, sweet, no water, only milk. as I love and needed right now 'why did you rush out like that?' she asks 'oh that's nothing' 'really?' 'yep I was just over analyzing' she raises her eyebrows over thinking deeply about something, i just hope she isnt planning something dumb.

Evening, after office is over, outside the building

we three are standing, me, Luv then Ayan. This is not overanalyzing. I am always in between them. He is keeping his space, what do I do. Its raining outside, I wanna cry too, I don't like this, fuck my life.

'Payu!! dont you have to go to grocery store now?' Luv implies on me out of nowhere startling 'uh?' not that she is wrong but this is so sudden. She pinches me to play along, Idk what this girl is thinking but I agree 'oh yeah- yeah ,why?' She puts her hands over Ayan's shoulder 'You should help her out shrimp' she poked his arms and continues 'put your strength to good use, help her out' NOW I KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING, I WANT TO KILL HER AND KISS HER FOR THIS, THIS GIRL IS INSANE 'oh okay' he replies without making an eye contact, I want to rip him to shreds. 'NO Need.' I say, little louder but I don't regret it. 'stop acting all strong babe, you are already tired so much and going through phase, he will help you like always' she is still all over his shoulder patting him like he is a player and she is the coach 'I will come with you, lets go' he says, he sounds sincere and I hate him.

We are in supermart, buying groceries and other essentials i have ran out off. I was supposed to do this on weekend but yeah, things happened, I rotted for a while and here I AM ON A TUESDAY EVENING SHOPPING WITH A GUY THAT IS MAKING MY STOMACH FLIP INSIDE OUT FOR SO MANY REASONS.

'You need curd?' 'no' 'I dont get it, how can someone hate curd' 'says the guy who hates milk' 'but milk is gross' 'curd is gross-er' he squints his eyes at me and then turns away with speed of light, this has happened 3 times till now, once when I said no to brinjal, the other time in cereals section and and now this. This is getting on my nerves but I cannot call him out in middle of mart, what will everyone think, I dont want to cause drama. WHY IS HE AVOIDING ME?? am i that bad to not even be looked at? my head has started to have slight aches again from all this stress and humidity and crowd and focus focus breathe in breathe out I AM OKAY.

When we are on counter getting the bill, the cashier said we are a nice good looking couple, we have been said that quite a lot time for last 2 years ever since we became close friends. Hah, I wish. no, wait I don't wish, I hate him I hate him, I.. ugh.. .We are sitting silently facing the windows in the cab, I said I will be fine to go home alone but he insisted to tag along. Well as he wishes.

the cab stops right outside my building and the rain has stopped for a while too, thankfully. I get off the cab and so does he 'you don't need to drop me till my door, you should go home, its getting late' I say without making an eye contact. 'No, let me help you' 'why?' i say as i pay for the driver. 'what do you mean?' 'fine' I don't want to argue with him right now here, I shove a bag to him and walk away. We are gonna climb the whole damn 5 floor without saying a word to each other, I scoff to myself . I want to know what is going inside his mind. But I also want to hold his hand. I hate him. not really. This is one of the very few times where we give each other silent treatment, we both hate it actually. We are on the third floor when he finally speaks 'I wasn't avoiding you.. ' I am silent as I can be between the heavy breathings because damn I do am tired, Luv was right. I would have fallen on the stairs if it wasn't for the rage in me that Ayan is walking behind me after ignoring me. '...I actually didn't know how to face you today. I wasn't avoiding you because I am scared of you' he adds we are halfway through the 4th floor. I nod and reply 'OKAY'. 'Payu.. are you angry?' ' why will I be angry?' I say with a dry laugh, oh hell yes I am. We are finally on the 5th floor. I hold out all the bags in one hand to get my keys with the other and he holds my hand to share the weight of them. If I am not wrong, my whole body just went through a current field. I somehow manage to open the door but all I can think of is his hand on mine. HIS HAND ON MINE. it looks so perfect, his nails are well kept and subtle veins spread all over his back of palm, he wears two rings, one that his dad gave him and one he says is his lucky charm. They look so pretty on him.

He takes his hand back as soon as I open the door and then I walk in to keep the bags in the side of the floor oh fuck the parcel is still sitting there. I will open it tonight. I turn back to see him still standing at the doorway contemplating whether to come in or not. 'And you said you aren't avoiding me anymore?' I walk towards him 'You cant even look me straight, you have barely spoken to me, and you say you are not ignoring me? That's a weird way to lie Ayan.' I take grocery bag from his hands and keep them aside. He is silently staring at me, with a hurt look. I shouldn't have said anything, I hurted him, why do I have to be so petty. 'I am sorry payu.. I dont think I am a good friend to you.'

#you guyssssssss aaaaaaaaaaaa they are gonna kiss soon aaaaaaaaaaaaa #im severely bored so im writing shit #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #also the way i just was like bitch he is ignoring cause he has a dream of kissing you and he is too shy to see you like aaaaaaaaaaaa lol

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thisdreamplace · 5 months

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Hi dream, it's 🩷 anon, how are you doing?

My life, the 3d, has been easier, I'm not going to school anymore, which means I can focus on myself. There's more time to manifest my desired life, and honestly, it's a decision. I decide everything based on my assumptions. It turns out that it's pretty easy to manifest because reality comes FROM ME, and not TO ME. I just need to be assertive in my power, I can do it!🩷

In my reality, the 4d, I've decided that I am completely perfect, right now. I'm focusing on my imagination 100%, because it's the only reality, and the outer world is merely a mirror. There's some resistance and negative feelings, but you know what? It doesn't matter. I created a routine to meditate and affirm in the morning, afternoon, and night. I discovered yesterday that although affirmations are kinda forgotten in the community, it works wonderfully for me! I can easily calm myself with affirmations and be completely fulfilled!🩷

I found a blog here, @etherealkissed88 🩷, and let me tell you something, it's one of the best blogs I've ever seen. Her name is Jani, and she helps me to be more assertive with my reality. Her posts are SO HELPFUL. You and her are angels sent to help me, and I am very grateful. Thank you to both of you for your posts, all the answered aks and overall for being on Tumblr, you guys are saving a girl's life. Thank you for everything!🩷🩷🩷🩷

Sadly, her asks aren't active, so I can't talk with her, I hope it's not a problem to tag her, if it is a problem tell me.

Anyways, I will just affirm, meditate, and persist to make the feelings of living my desired life normal, not to wait until the 3d changes. That was a problem, me waiting, but now I'm okay!

I hope you're okay and trust me, I WILL BE WRITING A SUCCESS STORY, I PROMISE🩷, byeee🩷

hello cutie <3 i'm doing v well !! thank u for asking

i'm glad that youre realizing that within urself and are moving forward in a way that feels best to you:)

its true, you are perfect right now. we all are, perfect and not needing to change anything to get to where we wanna be. it tends to be the hardest thing to realize but... its true. and im glad you can realize that for yourself now ! i agree affs are def nice, i get why theyre forgotten now bc of the way they were used and abused in the past lmfao buttttt they def are lil small things that can help us in our day to day life, theyve def helped me a lot

im glad you found a blog that helps you sm !! maybe itll help other people here too, so thank u for sharing it <3

i wish u luck on ur journey !! n to always remember its okay no matter what happens, u dont have to be any ideal of perfect other than what u are now. and trust me, i know you will !

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bubblepopsims · 7 months

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It didn’t take long for a notification to pop up on her phone and she immediately went to listen to it.

T: “Yeah. I’ll come over to smoke, I’ll bring supplies, and also stop by your favorite burger joint and pick you up something. I’m currently in the grocery store so if you need anything let me know.”

Rubys eyes wandered and her lips turned into a thin line. Finding herself both annoyed and happy at how good of a guy Tobias was and is. Picking up her favorite food.. asking if she needed anything, and the tone in his voice told her that he was genuinely happy and surprised at her message. “You do no wrong do you…” she sighed and responded back with her favorite snacks. Waiting impatiently for his arrival.

It took maybe a solid hour before Tobias arrived, Ruby had taken down her hair and let it hair dry for the most part, even put another load of laundry into the washer. her back was towards the door not even hearing the door open or close. T: "you should really start locking your door you never know who might come in."

Ruby slowly turned seeing the smug smirk plastered on Tobias face before it subtly turned stern. his eyes wandered over her and made his way to set the bags down in the kitchen before plopping down on the couch with a light huff. Ruby followed slowly watching him settle in before looking up at her with a certain concerned expression. "he wants to talk.... fuck."

T: "do I even have to ask?"

Ruby said nothing hoping, prayinnnggg to fucking god he would just leave it alone but. T: "whats going on? you send your brother to tell me you don't want to see me? i thought we were better than that." Ruby sighed "Tobias, please... i dont know what Josiah told you specifically but i didn't mean any harm with it."

Tobias sighed and looked down at the floor briefly just to raise his eyes back up to Ruby. T: "you could have just told me." R: "i know.." she let out a deep breath coming to the realization that this was not the last of it. so she plopped herself down next to him on the couch.

R: "honestly i dont want to talk about it..." Tobias groaned and leaned back against the back of the couch shaking his head. T: "you are frustrating you know that?"

Ruby huffed and nodded "Trust me i know i am.. its just he brought up the wedding okay? brought up Izzi.. and well you kinda know the gist of it." T: "A gist? say more like a corner of a whole foot-long sub." Ruby couldn't help but chuckle and gave him a reassuring look. R: "Look... This... is not something i can just turn on and off.. trust me i wish i fucking knew how but i cant.. everyday.. everyday i look in the mirror it's there.. right there on my face. the memories. And now i find out the person i was so into for so long.. dealt with trauma and heartache and pain is getting fucking married. and its not to me.."

R: "its not easy for me to just get over it. I am damaged in more ways than one, but i am getting better.. doesn't mean i won't have slip-ups or fall back into old habits of pushing people away... pushing you away. you've been there.. back then when i first arrived here, i didn't know where i was going.. i didn't know what i was going to do.. and than i tumbled into that shitty fucking bar -she chuckled- and see you.. you didn't ask questions, you didn't hit on me, you just passed me a beer and gave me a nod. you didn't judge, you weren't scared, you were just genuinely giving me space to breathe." A small smirk formed on her lips "Well that's until you passed me your number on a wet ass napkin."

Tobias shrugged with embarrassment and let out a small laugh "god yeah... i remember that... shit... ahaha... but i get that you need time and space to figure out your thoughts and feelings.. it wasn't that, that got under my skin.. it is- Tobias hesitated on stating what he truly wanted to "i fucking love you and i just want to be there for you damnit.. you are such a fucking stubborn woman." but decided against it.- just, I am sorry.. I took it personally when i knew I shouldn't have. i know that it must be painful to hear that the person you love is about to marry someone else."

Ruby's mouth fell open ready to object to the words love as a present tence but the more she thought about it. the more it was true. she did genuinely love Izzi... was Ruby still in love with Izzi was the thing she didn't quite know for sure.. but seeing tobias so concerned, and troubled by his own feelings, warmed her heart a bit. R: "i am usually not the one to request things like this.. but can i have a hug?" Tobias face softened and looked over at a vulnerable? Ruby and let out a sigh "of course, come here."

Tobias took her into his arms, this was the closest they have been in weeks and part of him missed it.. he could tell she washed her hair today, the subtle scent of florals radiated from the still slightly tamp set of curls that spilled down her back. To his surprise he felt her grip grow tighter around him, nuzzling her nose into shoulder and take a deep exhale.

"he smells so good... like fresh cut wood... tall forest trees and the lingering scent of a lake near by.. i oddly missed his scent...his arms around me, that warmth that radiates off of him. "

Previous - Next

#ts4 simblr #ts4 #ts4 screenshots #ts4 story #the tribe #sims 4 #my sims #oc:ruby #oc: tobias

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eldritchmochi · 9 months

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Word prompt for the letters! SWORD TIME

mina pls that is so many letters lmao

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

okay, if it is not obvious, i have thought SO MUCH about disability in exandria, so heres a general worldbuilding headcannon vs character based hc but it's shown that disability isn't overly impactful in exandria. basically everything we've seen ranging from pcs like shakaste to big npcs like dancer and also smaller one off pcs like the moorbounder dealer in the city of beasts, whatever the name is, they're fully functional within society despite major physical disabilities and theres functionally not a whole lot of ableism at a surface level when it comes to worldbuilding (thanks matt).

however..... its not hard (for me) to extrapolate how the dynasty in particular would have a not great view on disability (thank u cherry for putting it into words as i was charlie day-ing over coping skills early on). it's not something that i talk about explicitly in coping skills (and may not since it would be really info dumpy and not vibe with the way i write or characterize the wizards lmao) but it's something ive spent a great deal of time thinking thru for the dang fic and my in-head notes are basically a) in a modern setting like coping skills, the healthcare situation moves at a glacial pace partly because elves live forever so what is a several year wait for a non emergent specialist issue and b) major disabilities, things that impact daily living to a significant degree that cannot be "fixed" with magic, are at best really only tolerated until anamnesis or consecution so the body can be reset into a more perfect form

i could wax poetic about the nitty gritty as it relates to coping skills specifically, but that is like, the base premise of 90% of the fic lmao

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

okay so, heres the thing: with the exception of a few squicks, if something is well written with some fukken *heart* i will eat up just about anything. theres some tropes i don't really get myself and haven't found anything with it that's interested me, like hanahaki, but i have fav fics involving things i notoriously avoid, like kid fic and hs aus. like legitimately, my absolute fav fic is a non explicit hs au, which considering i basically dont read non explicit fics OR hs aus is fucking wild

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

lets see, i did one here for an ashrym fic, and one here for general shadowgast so lets go with a single character, and a delightfully weird song for her

obviously imogen, again, because its funny. do not ask me why spotify recommended this german edm country album to me a bit ago but i listened to the whole thing and it fucking slapped, and this song immediately went on my hells playlist

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

I AM ONLY DOING ONE BECAUSE I DONT TRUST YOU MINA (ilu but also damn many letters lmao)

but callowmoore is just chefs kiss. i don't see anything necessarily romantic between them but i love the idea of the two of them bonding over being absolute gremlins. ashton definitely needs a charismatic wingman and fearne definitely needs someone who has (some level of) smarts re Doing Crimes, so the two of them playing off each other is just delightful and i love how soft they are with each other in cannon and in turn all the fanart (especially the forehead kiss???? im still not normal about that)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

hmmmmmmmmmmm okay i guess maybe reylo? the rots kiss was absolute garbage rey deserves better BUT i am in theory into her domming the shit out of him but reylo shippers as a whole soured me on the ship and now i just hhhh no thank you, even from authors i trust to write it in a way i'd enjoy :C

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

T answered here! (basically no lmao)

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

homestuck :I like part of it was definitely the Fandom Cycle of falling out if interest with something, especially once there stopped being new cannon i could access but a bigger part of it was seeing all my fav artists and writers in the fandoms, particularly the ones 30+, PARTICULARLY Black artist, being absolutely shat on by kids for the crime of... being adults in fandom spaces basically, or otherwise creating fanworks that featured non-white, non-thin depictions of the characters. i live vicariously thru @/roundandtalented when they spam share hs art because i still love those characters but yeesh ye olde tumblr hs fandom got VERY toxic

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

answered once here with ashton and here with astarion so i guess i gotta keep the train going with "a" name characters

hmmmmmmmmmm

okay lets say abby from ncis (i have watched Many crime procedurals lmao). i imagine she and i would be GREAT fashion buddies, especially when i'm bubblegum pop kawaii to her scary goth. we could swap tips on breaking in big stompy boots and all the best places for cute clothes, and i think we're fairly close in size too so could even SWAP gasp The Dream

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

god i do not know if fandom as a whole has picked up on any of the various things i've built in my fics but tbh i think its absolutely hilarious how i inevitably write a porn/camming au for like every fandom i write multiple fics for. it happens, every single time. EVERY TIME. in fact, mine and cherry's sg camming au started with me lampshading this trend i have, laughing about how FINALLY here was a fandom where i couldn't write camming and make it work, except whoops i thought too hard on it and made it work. this occurred over the course of like..... a single evening. i had the basic outline sketched out within twenty minutes of me being like "theres no way i could write camming into critical role, NO WAY" i am not even exaggerating

so i guess maybe my hilarious contribution to critical role is the contemporary magical setting proof-of-concept???? cherry did say there werent really that many at the time i asked because i lov me some modern aus

there are maybe some letters left idk at this point lmao but here is the meme for those of u who made it thru all that

#mochi rambles #mochi asks #haveievermentioned

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yuukei-yikes · 11 months

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Okay okay okay I have a very specific itch to hear about Mekakushi Dan sensory needs and bc you're the first person I can think of who has drawn them stimming I thought your askbox was the perfect place to launch myself. If you have thoughts here pls feed me. Bonus points for Takane's sensory needs + challenges before becoming a computer program and post str bc I do think her needs would be different than they were before?? I think not having a body for 2 years would do that to you

HI ok i dont have a lot of headcanons in general its mostly haruka and takane and mostly takane. i think haruka is the one ive drawn stimming the most Like i just think that guy would flap his little hands around yknow.

so im sorry i dont have hcs for the whole mekadan. IF UR INTERESTED IN A PARTICULAR MEKADAN GUY u can ask me and I'll come up with something >:3 it just feels overwhelming to think of it all at once. and also u said takane and you know damn well im abt to talk for 1 million hours

ok. takane❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ sorry this isn't sensory needs but girl.. takanes Gamer Secret being found out... idk man it's like. this bitch had been MASKING‼️‼️‼️

even in hs days i think takane feels weird about Touching with her hands. she doesn't have the cartoonishly large sleeves she has as ene, but i think she pulls down her sleeves over her hands like in this specific manga panel i indeed have in speed dial

i wish it appeared more often bc its a cute shoutout to ene later on and also WOOO THIS BITCH HAS SENSORY ISSUES!!! i made a comic abt it once but haruka designing actor with the bigass sleeves because he observed that takane pulls down her sleeves. *bite bite bite bite bite* also this panel has always been a fave of mine bc of autism creature takane and also bc the desk is like. at haruka's chest and he looks like he's sitting on the ground

i also think its very funny to imagine takane kicking ass in games while holding the controller with her sleeves over it and everyone's like ?????girl what. ofc she probably has specific textures she hates and all that, takane doesnt feel weird about touching as a whole.

in several instances of yuukei yesterday haruka and takane casually touch each other and while thats obviously cuz they're close friends, a lot of close friends dont act that way or arent comfortable with touch yknow!! in fact takanes the one to start most physical interactions with him. i could be crazy enough to go and check but im gonna trust my memory. and bc i love art where ene is jumping on shintaro and stuff i like to think takane is Actually touchy with ppl she trusts. also she doesnt register personal space sometimes, and ends up standing too close without noticing until someone points it out. i guess this is a bit contrary to a typical takane interpretation (UR STANDING TOO CLOSE DUMBASS🙄🙄🙄🙄 tsundere moment) but i think it's a fun spin to it. i think kenjirou is the one to most point it out like Girl step BACK ur all in my zone and she's like UGH WHATEVER and haruka also notices but never rly says anything. he probably loves it lol haruka's so overdue physical connection he loves that takane doesn't mind touching him or being close to him. also since they have a big height difference its not like she's all up on his face. i think takane starts letting go more once her ene secret's out and stops caring so much but it sorta comes back when ayano and shintaro join the group. i think shintaro especially would point out UGH WHY ARE YOU STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME or even question why she's so close to haruka or ayano. haruka and ayano are all like NOOO DONT WORRY I DONT MIND but takanes already mortified and is more self aware

another one. takane with her big old headphones. yeah yeah uses them disconnected to get haruka's attention Whatever she also uses them bc she prefers hearing stuff muffled instead of hearing it directly 👍 when she gets overwhelmed she puts those things on with the music to the max and just logs out for a min

OH also this is a canon one😼😼😼 her leg bouncy thing. shintaro points it out in the seventh novel that takane is bouncing her leg and says it's a nervous habit he never noticed on her but TO ME. SHE DOES THAT❤️ takane has huge leg bouncer energy i bet she makes the whole table shake and everyone asks her to quit it and she says Damn ok sorry and stops it for a total of 50 seconds before starting again

anyways in summary hs takane is like. tends not to notice personal space, hates touching stuff with her hands, likes having control over what or how she hears, and has a tough time staying still. POST STR... its all to the max. takane is overly aware of everything. all 5 senses are as much of a nightmare as they are a relief and it's all mixed together!!!!

ok her sensory needs that she already had pre ene are still there but completely amped up, except the personal space one. now everyone is always too close and literally just opening her eyes (HEH!! OPENING EYES!!!!) is super overwhelming bc WHOA EVERYTHING IS SO CLOSE AND HUGE AND HD. i could imagine comparing it to like, wearing contacts for the first time for any fellow glasses wearing people. like u know this, youve seen all this. but suddenly youre watching it differently without a frame around ur eyes and it just feels weird. for takane the frame was a screen instead of the glasses yknow. and to her its A LOT

i think post str takane keeps using her powers and having meltdowns because on top of all the existentialism she has to deal with being alive and everything, suddenly She Cannot Control Anything And It Is A Nightmare. she can't handle the lack of control she has over her needs and body temperature. just feeling hungry or sweating after walking for a little in summer makes her upset. bc she gets her body back during summer so GOOD LUCK WITH THAT GIRL. the clothes she wears feel all insane and irritated and nauseous!!! awful!!! even showers feel strange bc AUGGHHH so much is touching her at once!!! she also hates eating soooo yeah also a thing. i think she's always been a picky eater but post str its like she will only eat like 2 things or something

ON THE OTHER HAND.... it suddenly goes on the opposite end. like for a few days she's nightmare overstim city and then she's SUPER understim and COMPLETELYYYYY over eager about having a body and horribly indulges in like. overeating and running around <- overeating (especially when u usually avoid eating), awful for ur tummy. running a lot when u have chronic pains, also awful for ur pains later. sooo nothing she wont pay the price for later. it needs to get pointed out to her she needs to find a balance and cant have all or nothing (by haruka probably)

the personal space thing comes back here like she gets So touchy and needs hug or death. i think she can be all happy hugging haruka and all of a sudden pushes him away and is like WHOA I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY BODY RIGHT NOW MAYBE RIP MY SKIN OFF TOO MAYBE so it's rly like a light switch all of a sudden she can get overwhelmed with it and revert. like jumping back and forth between seeking and avoiding sensation.

i drew this once but haruka with his arms inside of takane's sleeves LOLLL i think skin to skin rly helps her when she's feeling like she needs sensation. a big part of the sudden overindulgence is OUGH IM REAL!!!! bc like i said takane isnt just dealing with having a body again she's dealing with having her Life again. being alive again. and she LOVES being alive. and the avoidance of all these sensations sometimes piles up and ends on the opposite like I NEED TO EAT💥💥💥I NEED TO SCREAM💥💥💥💥I NEED TO RUN AND HUG AND KISS AND DANCE AND SWIM💥💥💥 yknow. so yeah haruka helps her a lot with it when she needs touching and hugging 🙏🙏🙏 cuz he also wont get offended if she's suddenly like Ok get away from me before i explode🙏

also post str takane To Me also has mobility issues like haruka does bc all her muscles are atrophied from yknow Not moving for 2 years so it's like, even more that she has to deal with. physical therapy is incredibly invasive to her too so it's extra difficult. i think haruka and her do it together and that's why haruka is so on top of what's going on with her, he's the closest and sees her whenever she's the most vulnerable. also their situations are So similar they cant help just gravitating to each other for support. i also think haruka's the one to always point out to her when she's overindulging like Hey i love that ur rly enjoying that bigmac but i can already see you wanting to rip out ur organs later tonight so maybe dont eat a third one.

anyways ermmm takane's biggest challenge is Stop resorting to opening eyes whenever it gets too bad. like i also got sensory issues and assuming whoever is reading also does imagine having the option to just Jump out of ur body when its feeling Awful. ofc ur gonna take it when ur feeling like that. but it doesn't help takane to do it. while it helps her to calm down, it's not good in the long run. she actively wants a PHYSICAL life and work on all this. takane never wanted to die and is super motivated to get better but it's not quick or easy!!! eventually she finds a good balance i think. she's still a rly touchy person who hates grabbing her phone directly without the sleeves in the middle and will only eat like 3 things❤️ but also a hug lover❤️

#takane enomoto #ask tag #headcanons

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pixiexmint · 4 months

Text

since my friend posted a vent heres one from me:

this was in my notes:

whenever im at anybody else’s house my mom favors them.

even though i might be her child she doesn’t like me the best.

i try my hardest but she doesn’t care. why does she get angry for the simplest things.

i was taking off my friends band-aid and she shouts at me.

why? why? why?

what did i ever do wrong to her. what is wrong with me. i wish i was gone. i do everything wrong. i never do anything right. it cant be my fault.

i didnt do anything wrong, right?

shes the one who shouts at me and makes me sad, thats not my fault.

whenever im with someone else she ignores me.

is that my fault?

no. its not. its all her

we came to india.

my dad asked me to go help him get food on his plate.

i just did that. he shouted at me.

my dads in the hospital. my best friend wont tell me anything.

i feel sad.

not because my dad is in the hospital. his surgery went well.

because my best friend doesnt trust me.

maybe i should talk to “someone”.

its just a special person.

i dont feel good.

some people wont trust you.

like me. they dont trust me. they wont ever trust me.

i hate this.

my best friend and i got back together.

i thought so at least.

she doesnt trust me.

she came over to our house because i went over to her house yesterday.

she wants to leave.

i dont feel good.

did i do something wrong?

what did i do?

i dont want to talk to her anymore. im done.

thats it. we are done.

welcome to the new year baby.

NEW YEAR:

i dont like this.

i hate this.

i wanna leave.

i wanna go.

i dont like this.

what did i do wrong.

its all my fault. no. dont say that. i didnt do anything wrong.

i think. i love blue. and my dad. and my mom. and myself. i think.

i dont like this.

“are you okay?”

“yeah”

what wonderful words.

i wish i could forgive them.

not anymore.

why dont they trust me

they dont even know

they make me cry

i wont show

but why?

you wouldn’t understand if you werent me

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dykementality · 2 years

Text

actually i dont care if it would make the story implode or if it would ruin everything i wish someone had told silver flint was in love with him fuck it. even if you dont believe silver in the finale, its fucked up how he genuinely thinks his betrayal to madi was fundamentally different from his betrayal to flint because he didnt know. even if it is just a story he chose to tell. "perhaps as the promise of seeing thomas got closer... he grew more comfortable letting go of this man he created in response to his loss" as if he doesnt know the war is more important to flint than anything else. as if flint hadn't told him that. he is still projecting his own priorities onto flint because it would work with him. love does makes it worth it to him, and he doesnt know flint loves him like that. like yeah he did something horrible but he still expects understanding, no matter how long he has to wait for it. because it was a sacrifice for love and love is not selfish, right? visibly shaking. if flint does stop resisting, its because hes just so tired. like "you fucking lied to me." you lied to me, again. like when did we go back to this. i love you how can you not see it do you even love me. its so heartbreaking they were supposed to be past that after doldrums. and then silver answers "im done wagering with her life", showing flint he thinks what he's got to lose is more important than what flints got to lose and that he is still oblivious to flints feelings for him on any conscious level and that if they were ever one, they aren't anymore. its brutal. like even if love made everything okay, he really doesnt see hes taking that from flint as well. and flint is so tired. he really wants silver to be someone he can trust but hes smarter than that. "tell me im wrong" like please god let me be wrong about this. but hes not. that's the end and silver still doesnt get it. he sees silver but silver does not see him so he just stops like. its already over anyway

#i was rereading some conversations and now i want to kill myself no joke. im upset #the old age epigenetic debate: would any amount of love make john silver trustworthy and nature vs. nurture #'i found a way to reach into the past and undo it' insert tabbys reaction pic Why do you say these things #like he doesnt get it and flint wont tell him and when he does get it it will be too late. so its over #bs meta #dan #black sails

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glame · 1 year

Text

Privilege pt.2

A/N : there is the part two.

TW: ANGST. cursing. toxic relationship.

''what is this smoke? Rafe!'' you just arrived to Cameron's. knocking his door but it was locked. ''Rafe, you okay?''

''shit. shit SHIT! i am. i am okay baby. just give me a minute.'' sounded like he was caught on doing something. you know he would never cheat on you. but what was he hiding?

two or three minutes later he unlocked the door.''you okay?'' you looked at him and looked to the room.

''why wouldnt i?''

''i dont know. why would you?'' you were holding a glass you took from the kitchen.

''i… i didnt want my dad to see me.'' yeah. acceptable.

''you could open the door to me. you knew it was me.''

''i panicked. okay? dont blame me. im not cheating you or something.''

''i never said you cheat on me. what the hell is this coming from?'' you got so angry.

''because you fucking act like it! i would never.'' he sighed and hugged you. ''i missed you. im glad youre here.''

''im glad youre finally at home too. so what are your plans?'' you asked like he didnt have plans. your plans for today was Golf and then Top and Sarahs gonna join you for drinks. if he hasnt forgotten.

''i-i dont have any. now youre here we can just, i dont know, why dont we just lay?'' he asked. of course he has forgotton.

''no Rafe. we cant lay.'' you looked up him. ''we had fucking plans fo today. we were gonna Golf! we should be there two hours ago! but of course you forgot.''

''i dont remember anything about Golf. you didnt even tell me!'' he yelled.

''dont yell at me. i am telling you this for two days! but as usual you are coked out here.'' you yelled back.

''youre saying this like im a fucking addict. im not! you dont know shit!''

''you are a fucking addict! i know all of your shits. youre a junkie!''

''hate you when you act like it. i need to relax okay? you make me fucking hate you!'' he shouted so loudly whole house heard it.

''hate me? youre the one making things fucking difficult. you dont even hear what youre saying.''

''it is always me, right? the problem is always me.''

''you know what, im going. you can call me when you sober up. i cant deal with you right now.''

''you always leave. yeah. thats the one thing you do right.'' you ignored him and went upstairs. Sarah and Wheezie smiled to you. you tried to smile them back but you couldnt.

''sorry.'' Sarah said. ''you dont deserve this. i wish--'' she got interrupted by her brother.

''Y/N, come here.'' his voice sounded calm and but weird. ''dont leave me. please. im sorry''

''no, Rafe. let me go.'' he held by your wrist.

''no. w-we can sort this out, okay? dont you trust me? c'mon. dont leave me. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. please.'' he was helpless.

''not now. please let me go.'' you were trying to let yourself go.

''Rafe get off of her!'' Sarah yelled.

''Sarah shut up. im not talking to you.''

''its your sister! dont ever talk to her like that.'' he was still helding you. ''Rafe if you dont let me go you will lose me forever. i mean it.'' you were stubborn and he knows that.

''we gonna fix this, right? promise me. promise you dont leave me!'' his hands on your wrist lowered to your hands. his held wasnt strict as it was.

''yes. we gonna fix this. but not now. do you trust me?'' you felt the tears in your eyes. same tears were in his eyes. he shook his head. ''okay. i trust you, too. we gonna fix this. i will call you, okay? i love you.''

''you gonna call me?'' he wasnt sure. he knew himself. you shouldnt call him. he dont deserve you. and you dont deserve it. you deserve the world but this and him.

''yeah, yeah. i promise im gonna call you. but not today. we need some space. im not leaving you.''

''you still love me?''

''i still love you. but i should go, okay?'' he dropped your hands off.

''can i… can i kiss you?'' he held you by your cheeks. you shook your head. and he kissed you softly. ''i love you. so much. you cant even know how i love you.''

''i know.'' just because of this love he cant let you out but he cant let you in either. ''i love you too.'' you kissed him one more time and headed to your home.

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks rafe #rafe cameron #rafe fic #rafe x you #rafe outer banks #rafe x reader #rafe fanfiction #outerbanks rafe

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anakinskywalkerog · 10 months

Note

omg no way tumblr never bothered to tell me you replied. plus why is nothing showing up in my following feed??? a bone to pick for next time ig

ahaha i missed this too you're so good with advice! ❤ and thank you hehe i have been informed the new pfp it a character calld lust from an anime called fullmetal alchemist, but i just like the aesthetic

it really is and thank youuuuu! im sure it will! *sends ✨good luck✨*

hmm i dont wanna obsess over han at all, because first of all, ELI! that would be unfair. and han is sort of crazy, anyways. i am listening to i can see you from speak now tv but i shouldnt because it reminds me of han. it also reminds me of anakin. very anakincore track. i cant help it though, i can see you is so good, although it gives more of a reputation vibe than speak now tbh. still love it anyways and thank mother taylor for it. are you enjoying speak now tv? what's your favourite track? i think im enjoying mine, mean and back to december, but everything is ofc v nice! wish we had a mine pop mix tv and some more beat to enchanted, but its perfect as it is!

yess "there will be plenty more guys 😂 trust me." that's exactly what i thought, too! like, he's here now, but someday there's going to be someone else EXACTLY like that. although it might not be so bad if i did make a decision influenced by him because he and i have a similar objective - physics/engineering degree at oxford/cambridge so its a win-win no matter which way i go ig. plus we're academic rivals. competition is the norm for us. but about intrigue with han...

"oh? whos your friend? (i asked han to pose for one of my snaps hehe) is this friend good-looking?"

... dude? like, WHAT? that sounds like pretty blatant flirting to me.

but lets not forget that once we were in the corridor and bro leaned in super close (keep in mind this was months ago and this was in the middle of like 15 other people anyways) and i leaned away out of reflex 😂 i think he looked at me later with a very patronizingly disappointed

kinda expression. i think that was a test, and i failed miserably but thats fine 💀

eli really is we even have loads of similar interests!

yw and sameee! it is hehe she even send me memes and is a pedro pascal stan (as she should. pedro pascal is an icon. love him) ! very happy with that

oh no, is everything okay? can i do anything to help? if it helps, my life is only peaceful because i am in isolation from all friends, hehe i need time to regenerate. i am an ambivert at heart. my extrovert meter needs to recharge lmaooo

also, a part of me wonders if cranberry is mad at me? basically, he aksed me to write a steamy story abt him and han (thyre best friends) and didnt want his gf to find out incase she thought he was weird (bro she already does. shes ur gf. she knows what weird she signed up for smh)

anyways i made a small oopsie. i asked some people to critique it for me, and one of those poeple may have been the girl from my diary, whos friends with cranberry's gf, and who previously told machete i liked him when i wanted it to be a scret and explicitly told her so, and the one who i knew cannot be trusted with secrets because she will tell someone and lie about it 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

anyways cranberry was annoyed (and understandably so.) he said his gf was mad at him (impossible - if she was, shed be mad at ME first cos thats how women are. better than revenge is living proof. but she isnt! ) and i get it, but then people stop being mad, right? i mean, ive been really mad at him too, for a variety of reasons. i forgave him though and he didnt even apologize like i did! but he seemed normal at prom perhaps a bit icy? a guy friend told me im overthinkinngit and while he may have been annoyed it doesnt mean hd stop being friends with me or anything, and that he definitely wouldnt stay mad because its not a big deal.

but i texted him cranberry with a pretty obvious joke and he didnt even find it funny??? like thats HIS sort of joke??? how does he ot find that funny??? my friend says he must be mad then, but says theres the chance he just didnt find it funny?

like, i get it, but i want to make amends! and i wont even see cranberry in person so i can never tell. but if he was mad, he wouldve blocked me, or left me on delivered, or just opened. but he even sees my stories n stuff!

plus his friends would be mad if something happened. like guys are super gangy like that. but his friends are not mad at all, like han and this other guy are totally normal and no one sad that. even when han brought it up the day after the whole thing, he didnt imply it was serious and just dropped it after joking around abt it.

my friend did say if i was friends with cranberrys friends, it doesnt mean they have to be mad, but what if cranberry and his gf broke up over something as stupid as a joke???? and it was my fault??? i would feel awful and i cant even tell or say sorry.

nor can i ask han over text cos then hed tell cranberry and itd be weird. and i cant ask eli cos i dont want to set a bad rep.

he texted about it and i delved into a tiny argument he said its fine but "just think more next time". i think he and han both know i didnt mean for this to happen and that it was a genuine accident, but people gte hurt over things even if they know it wasnt meant to hurt them. shoulve said no is proof of this.

but they did send me a video of them reading the story together [cranberry and his friends, it was han who filmed (i did ask them to film their reaction)] and cranberry was cracking up as he read it! if he was mad he wouldve abandoned it. but they sill seemed to love it. surely if cranberry was mad at me, then that wouldnt have happened?

jesus christ, thats LONG. i apologize for troubling you, i didnt think itd get this long! its just been on my mind :( ironically it happened yesterday just after i was so happy. ugh. boys are awful

yes haha thank youuu :) if you're okay with my constant somewhat accidental drama dumps, i definitely will :D

love you and stay safe x

hi sythe so sorry it took me so long to respond to this!

I hope all is well with Eli. but GIRL have I been listening to “I Can See You” sooooo much it’s literally the delulu girl anthem! I love it. having a little crush on Han just adds some spice!! there’s nothing wrong with a little seasoning to an otherwise boring existence 😂

I am okay 🩵 just really been struggling with my OCD lately. I hope it gets better soon.

no fuckinf WAY cranberry asked you to write a steamy story!!? girl that is NOT platonic. what are these men doing out here 😂😂😂😂 but I agree, very unlikely that he is mad at you

I love the drama dumps, I wish we could vent together for real because I have been ALL over the place with my drama lately 😅 but it’s fine, it adds the comedy. i’m watching my own life like a work of absurdism. I would absolutely recommend that strategy.

#answered asks

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spaceshipcoupe · 1 year

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This is the only place i feel comfortable saying how i feel without getting stares from people or being told to suck it up. Thats all i ever do. Suck it up. Im so tired. I feel so low. I told the one person i “trusted “ but after recent events i don’t feel that way. Ive been hurt by them so many times, they turned their back on me when I needed it most the one person I should’ve been comfortable with hurt me. Im trying so hard to be okay. But I’m not. The constant thought that i can do something to end it all but breaking down in the bathroom about not even know who i am anymore, i don’t recognize myself, my name, i have no friends that talk to me but i know it works both ways so i don’t like using that as an excuse or anything. I just wished someone would notice that I’m not okay. That I’m so alone but no one seems to care till someone is gone. And I’m not on here to end it all but to just cry to myself and maybe try to help me feel better. I wish I hadn’t done certain things, where was the guidance i needed. Not the guidance like “he’s no good for you” or “it all happens for a reason” but actually fucking advice, not telling me that j cant keep crying wolf, one day i will stop crying wolf and it’ll be so blissful, i can’t wait for the day that i don’t wake up wishing i was someone else with a different life. Thinking about the future and what i can be. Not being the reason my son’s family is broken. I try so hard for someone who couldn’t give a single shit about me. I see it. Why wont you let me go. Please just let me go home :( i feel like its just getting worse. Bringing me down. I just want someone to help me. But i don’t want to be a burden. Always crying about her life. But I’ve had it hard. I don’t have a normal life, its not just one problem its a fuck ton that i never knew how to deal with. I feel so fucked up. Im struggling harder than i ever have. Substance abuse, sleeping and just hating myself in general. I wish i never existed. I think the whole part that i know no one i know will see this or judge me. They dont know me. Im not as i appear on the internet. Sure i look happy but its just a facade, in fact I learned that from my dad, minus the fact that i dont post pictures of my kid pretending to be a loving parent who cares about his kids. Maybe if i got the love I needed I would’ve been okay. God i wish something terrible happened to me.

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