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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 7 months

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hey remember that caramel-carmel Fake Script i was writing? yeah it's technically not done but i'm tired of tinkering with it so here it is! we'll just say it's a uhhhh uncovered partial script or somethin

this is not in any way official! it's a 100% unaffiliated fanwork & i am Just Fucking Around for Funsies

BARNABY: oh, I love carmul!

FRANK: [long, disgusted pause] …what?

BARNABY: Carmul! You know, those tasty little treats you’re holdin’!

FRANK: You mean caramel?

BARNABY: That’s what I said.

FRANK: [scoffs] No, you didn’t. You said carmul.

BARNABY: We’re sayin’ the same thing here.

FRANK: We absolutely are not!

JULIE: [giggles] You really aren’t.

BARNABY: Carmul, caramel, tomato, tomahto! What does it matter!

FRANK: [flustered, stammering] It - it matters! Julie, you agree with me, don’t you?

JULIE: Well… I don’t know, Frank! I think both are fun!

FRANK: You’re both wrong, then! Wally, you agree with me, don’t you?

WALLY: [hesitant] …I say carmul.

FRANK: No! Not you too! How could you poison him like this, Barnaby?

BARNABY: Don’t look at me! I’m innocent, honest!

FRANK: Ha! So you admit that carmul is the wrong pronunciation!

BARNABY: [groans] ah, geez… throw a dog a bone!

FRANK: I’d be delighted to if you’d just-

[distant yelp as Eddie trips off-screen]

FRANK: Eddie! Thank goodness, finally someone who can put an end to this debate!

EDDIE: [nervous laugh] Oh no, what did I stumble into this time?

BARNABY: Hold on a tic, Frank. Hey Ed, take this. What do you call that tasty treat?

EDDIE: [with a tinge of fear] A… caramel?

FRANK: [triumphant] a-HA!

SALLY: [approaching] Did someone mention carmul?

FRANK: AGH!

BARNABY: [delighted] Perfect timing, Sally!

SALLY: What, for a delicious morsel? Hand it over, thank you!

FRANK: You’re all wrong, and I’ll prove it! We’re going to go around the neighborhood and - wait. [under his breath] One two three four - [returns to normal volume] we’re taking this to Poppy’s!

BARNABY: Then Home, then Howdy, yeah yeah - might as well ask the daisies, too.

JULIE: Oooh, and the butterflies!

SALLY: While we’re at it, we should phone everyone in the book, just to get the widest audience input.

FRANK: [unamused] You all think you’re so funny.

EDDIE: Well, you gotta admit it’s… it’s…

[brief, tense pause. Eddie clears his throat]

EDDIE: It’s perfectly sensible!

[Frank makes an affronted noise]

FRANK: Poppy will see sense.

POPPY: I’d be delighted to have a cah-mehl, but I’m afraid it-

FRANK: [aghast, truly astonished] You’re joking. You have to be joking. CAH-MEHL? Does no one in this town have sense?! Besides Eddie, of course. And Julie - on a technicality.

EDDIE: [oddly pleased] Why thank you.

POPPY: My goodness, did- did I say it wrong?

BARNABY: [gleeful] Not in the least, Pops!

SALLY: As far as I’m concerned, you added an extra layer of… pizazz to the word. In fact, I may adjust my own pronunciation accordingly!

POPPY: [flustered] Oh, well, I didn’t - don’t change on my account -

SALLY: Take the compliment, Poppy.

POPPY: [meekly] Thank you.

[Sally wanders from the group, practicing the slightly adjusted pronunciation]

WALLY: I’m not sure I understand. What’s wrong with carmul or… care… mul… carmel…

POPPY: Don’t strain yourself dear, you’ll get a migraine.

FRANK: What’s wrong is that it’s ENTIRELY incorrect! It! Is! Pronounced! Caramel!

JULIE: Aww, Frank, I’m sure Home and Howdy will agree with us! Team Caramel, WOOO!

BARNABY: [barely restrained disbelief] Boy, won’t they!

POPPY: I’m not sure what the fuss is about… there isn’t much of a difference, is there?

[Frank makes a high pitched, frustrated noise and stomps off. He can be heard calling Home’s name in the background]

JULIE: Oop, there he goes!

POPPY: Oh - oh dear. I didn’t mean to rile him up.

BARNABY: Don’t twist your beak about it - Frank’s just bein’ Frank. Now if you’ll excuse us, I wanna see how it goes with Home.

WALLY: [quietly, thoughtful] But Home doesn’t talk like us…

POPPY: If you’re sure… Do let me know how it goes.

SALLY: [swaying back to the group] I’ll phone you post-haste! Or even better, I can come by for one of your delicious muffins and regale you with the whole escapade, in detail.

POPPY: [audibly pleased] That sounds - well that sounds like a wonderful idea! I have some fresh from this morning-

BARNABY: Sounds great! See you around, Poppy.

FRANK: Home, I have an important question to ask you. Is the correct pronunciation for this candy ‘carmul’, or ‘caramel’? One creak for caramel, two for the incorrect carmul.

BARNABY: Talk about a bias…

[Home stays silent. Sally yawns.]

FRANK: One creak for caramel, two-

[Home slowly shuts their curtains]

FRANK: Hmph! The nerve… well, I suppose a house that can’t speak shouldn’t have a say, anyway.

WALLY: Home can speak. He just does it differently.

BARNABY: And I’m pretty sure they just agreed with me, Walls, an’ Sally.

JULIE: They did not!

BARNABY: Looked like it to me!

SALLY: I have to agree with Julie. Home just declared itself a neutral party, and so the vote can’t be counted either way. On to Howardson!

JULIE: Yes! Howdy! Our last hope!

FRANK: He may have terrible taste in company, but he’s a sensible businessman. Poppy and Home have let me-

JULIE: Us!

FRANK: -us down, but surely Howdy will back us up.

BARNABY: [faux-serious tone, knows something they don’t] Absolutely. Without a doubt.

[store bell chimes]

HOWDY: Howdy-do - [brief pause, a tinge of surprise] everyone! My my, what brings the entire neighborhood to my bountiful bodega? Finally decided to clean me out for good?

BARNABY: [snorts] With how fast you restock? I think I’d break my funnybone!

FRANK: We have important business.

HOWDY: [mildly curious] Do we? That’s news to me! But I’m letting you know now that I don’t deal in bugs, Frankly. It’d be hypocritical.

FRANK: Believe me, I wish I were here to talk insects. Unfortunately, I need to settle a score. Mr. Dear, if you would?

EDDIE: If I would what?

SALLY: [stage-whisper] Barnabello gave you the, ah, parcel earlier?

EDDIE: The…? Oh! Oh, right - I have it right here, just… give me a second… which pocket…? There we go.

[sound of a small, hard candy placed on the countertop]

HOWDY: A carmul all for me? You shouldn’t have! No, really, you shouldn’t have. I’m on the clock.

BARNABY: [loud bark of laughter] I knew I could count on you, pal! So what’s the tally, Frankie?

[Frank mutters something inaudible]

BARNABY: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me bein’ right!

FRANK: [explosive] You’re all wrong! The correct pronunciation is caramel, CARAMEL! You’re all - you’re all just - heathens! Heathens, I say! I’m taking my company elsewhere!

EDDIE: Mr. Frankly…

JULIE: [overlapping, following] Aw, c’mon Frank!

[the door jingles. Julie and Frank’s hushed arguing in the doorway underlies the dialogue]

HOWDY: It sounds like I missed quite the context! Mind filling me in?

BARNABY: That was pretty much it; a real potato potahto argument.

HOWDY: If you say so, Barn. Speaking of potahtos-

[the background argument abruptly cuts off, the door jingles again as it's closed]

FRANK: [rapidly rejoining the group] Hold it! You don’t really say potahto, do you?

BARNABY: [under breath] Here we go again…

SALLY: [deeply amused] Where on Earth did you pick up such a butchered pronunciation? I must have missed the sign on my tour down from the heavens.

EDDIE: [baffled, underlying the dialogue] I’ve never heard anyone say it that way.

JULIE: Oh! Is it a joke? Like, Barnaby says potato-potahto, and then you jokingly say potahto to make us laugh?

HOWDY: It’s not a joke. That’s how it’s said.

FRANK: [genuinely disturbed] No - no one says that. It’s potato.

HOWDY: Well I say potahto, thank you very much! And if you ever want one from my store again, you’d do well to accept that.

[Various grumbles of reluctant acceptance]

HOWDY: Good. Now, can I get any of you a refreshing drink after such a squall? You must be parched!

WALLY: I wouldn’t mind a glass of mulk.

[Horrified silence. A pin drop would be deafening]

[Sudden uproarious and overlapping argument]

#consider this a low budget dollar store fanfic #didnt want to write an actual fic so Just The Dialogue Works Fine #anyway ive never tried to write a script-adjacent Anything so have mercy on me #i dont know what im doing ever! im having fun anyways!#and for the record! im team carmul #well all pronunciations are valid in my book but i say carmul #always have always will dont know why dont know how #my parents tried to make me say it 'caramel' growing up and uhhh No <3 #its fuckin carmul to me. To Me.#i dont say potahto tho. who the fuck does that who isnt a 50s mob boss in jersey #if a 50s mob boss in jersey is reading this: you'll never catch me alive #absolutely unprompted #welcome home #hmmm i should have a writing tag at this point #yk what ill just reuse - wait no i cant reuse the one from my dc sideblog #oh fuck it we'll stay on theme #snippets from the bog #yeah this little writing thing has been in my docs for like.#checking my nonexistent watch here. mmmmmmdont know. a while #and im slightly terrified to post!#its one thing posting art - posting any sort of writing is like breaking your ribs open with a crab cracker #and saying Hi! Have A Taste! I Hope My Viscera Isn't Completely Disgusting!#my god i hope they're at least acceptably in character. im trying im trying #i hope this gives someone a laugh!#or at least a hearty Chortle #or... blowing air through your nose in amusement. yes

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starscelly · 5 months

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harls and wyatt engaging in freak rituals

dal@nyi 01.21.24 warmups

#i also have a clip of them doing this in jersey!!!#i have never seen anyone talk abt this warmup ritual i think but its definitely A Thing #i have seen harls check him into the boards in person twice (2x)#thomas harley #wyatt johnston #dallas stars #stars lb #cel gifs

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palilious · 9 months

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Happy to share the official art for Escaped Audio's series The New Jersey Rats!

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livejournallegacy · 1 year

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"A lot of the [L.S. Dunes] songs came bassline first"

#i have things i need to do tomorrow but i cant sleep bc im tormetned by thoughts of these new jersey dads #i have things i need to do TODAY fuck me its nearly 1am #tucker rule #tim payne #ls dunes #thursday band #thursday #like thursday songs were written bass last and dunes ones bass first okay okay okay ok #i can be normal about that #(<- lying)#my gifs #also #boybestfriends

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imperatorrrrr · 8 months

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youtube

My Highlights from the Q&A: (I paraphrased some of the questions/answers, but most of it is direct quotes)

Q: Out of all the different jerseys that you wear, which one is your favorite? A: The Jersey Jersey

Q: What's the most fun/exciting part of the game when you're playing hockey? A: OT Win, especially at Home

Q: What is your favorite meal to eat here in New Jersey? A: The Italian spots here. I love Italian food, I grew up next to Italy

Q: Why do you wear number thirteen? A: I wear it because of my brother, my big brother always wore 13 and kind of also a little bit because both of us had the same favorite hockey player back in the day, Pavel Datsyuk.

Q: Besides the Rock, what NHL arena do you like playing in the most? A: Vegas, T-Mobile Arena -- its a vibe there, definitely fun

Q: Favorite and memorable goal you've ever scored? A: First NHL Goal in Ottawa

Q: Top Three Moments as a New Jersey Devil? A: My first NHL game, at the Rock versus Colorado, we won 4-2. Second one is first ever playoff game at the Rock versus Tampa, and, so far, the most memorable thing would be the Game 7 win against the Rangers. Gotta go with that one.

Q: Where do you still wanna go in the NJ/NY area? A: I've been to Asbury Park and I kind of want to see some more stuff from the Shore.

Q: What do you like to do to unwind and relax in the off season? A: I love the water, so lakes, rivers, ocean, I just try to be outside when its sunny. Don't like to be at home when its sun out.

Q: What is your favorite genre of music/band/artist? A: I do like Tom Petty

Q: Besides, Nico, what other nicknames do your teammates have for you? A: Hisch, HischSHAO, HischSHAO Jr

Q: What are you personally looking forward in the leadership position on and off the ice, going into this season as the Captain? A: Just to help the team as much as I can on and off the ice. I think obviously on the ice its clear, but also off the ice, just being as good of a person I can be for guys that need me in anything and I think thats the reason why I got Captain too, so thats what's I'm trying to do.

Q: What's your favorite ice cream flavor? A: Strawberry Vanilla

Q: Do you eat bagels and what is your favorite type of bagel to eat? A: Here in Jersey there are great bagels, I like the salmon cream cheese bagel, everything bagel.

Q: What's your favorite family tradition? A: Probably sit together dinners where we eat fondue or raclette where the dinner takes a little bit longer but you have enough time to speak with your family and friends, so thats always a good time. I feel like I always try to do it with them once I come back during summer.

Q: What's your favorite place in Switzerland? A: Bern

Q: Besides anyone on the Devils, who is your favorite current player in the NHL? A: McDavid

Q: Whats been your favorite year? A: I would say last year was pretty fun

Q: Who's your best friend on the Devils? A: Those are ALL of my friends. We got a really good group of guys, so I'm doing well with everyone, but I would probably say I'll do the most together with Jonas 'cause I've known him the longest. I've been playing with him in the Swiss National Team when we were younger so I would say that's kind of the guy I'd go with dinner and stuff but obviously I like ALL of them.

Q: Hardest team to play against? A: Carolina.

Q: What's your favorite Girl Scout Cookie flavor? Do you know what those are? A: (He did not know what those were and so he said) No cookies for me.

Q: (I didn't hear the question that well, but I think it was something like this) Who on the team would you want your daughter to date? A: I would say everyone because they know if they're not nice to my daughter they'd be in trouble.

#Nico Hischier #New Jersey Devils #Jonas Siegenthaler #NJD #Devils #pls watch this entire thing I swear its worth it #he's so sweet #someone asks for him to say hello to their math teacher and he goes will you get a good grade if I do this #what an absolute sweetheart #Youtube

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wienners · 2 months

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Other funniest thing about EMH is Evans baby. They literally never showed a baby on screen. The scene where Habits holding it is very clearly just a bundle of blankets and even in the qna they did in fact confirm there was no baby. But Evan describes how he remembers eating it so vividly and horribly in WAKE UP that im like. Damn I really do believe he ate that thing fr.

#emh #everymanhybrid #speakeasies #i haven't seen anything like it since in a found footage thing #fr though its a testament to the acting. i forget how good the EMH acting is until i get to WAKE UP and evan reacts to what hes done #it's never brought up in any like alternate timeline at all. Fridged baby to be eaten.#the power of implication is so good #like i never realized some scenes didnt actually have clever transitions between the houses. They just never told you which houses were wha #like that bathrooms actually vinnys this living rooms evans bc we told u that. its house of leaves now #which is SO funny like yeah jersey houses just be like that huh

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jacketpotatoo · 1 year

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Hey @thehomelybadger , thank you for breaking my heart

#the way I picked up my iPad and started drawing angst #caitlyn kiramman #vi arcane #piltover’s finest #caitvi #arcane #fanart #jacketsketch #(this was scheduled before chap 32 came out - I need to sleep so I haven’t read it yet but oh boy)#but I also want to say before I do - thank you.#thank you so much for telling this story. I’m not exaggerating in the slightest when I say it got me through a lot these past few months #it fueled my inspiration it calmed me down on bad days when I was beating myself up with stress it gave me something to grasp onto #I love your characters - every quirk and trait you’ve gave them and this world you’ve fleshed out #I hadn’t seen a second of ice hockey and now I’m looking up reference photos and trying to get the jerseys down #i love these guys and it pains me to be letting them go already - I can’t imagine how it’s like for you - but I’m forever grateful for this #wonderful thing you’ve created out of just the pure love for the characters and for hockey #I went into this thinking ‘hey what a lovely bedtime story’#and I’m heading to its end forever changed and impacted by it for the better #so thank you badger - see you when I read the next chap

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boxwinebaddie · 2 days

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oh my god so i just saw this picture of froy guitterez with a bearded dragon and i fear i am going to have to give clyde a bearded dragon. i'm not sure how he got her, ( prolly by doing something extremely impulsive, dumb and unhinged ), but he snuck her into him and tolkien's dorm room and was like "okay! so don't get mad BUT--"

...he was Mad, btw. but rm!tolkien doesn't scream because he is a dignified british king ( the only one i respect ) and just speaks at a slightly louder volume and does things with his eyebrows like "Why. Do. You. Have. A. LIZARD. Clyde?" and he's like "okay, first of all, she's not JUST a lizard; she's a Bearded Dragon and her name is-" idk what her name is it's probably something insane like glizzy or salamanda or mary guana, i want to start crying, oh my god. clyde loves reptiles.

and tolkien is like "right...so does 'glizzy' have a cage? food?...water?" and clyde is just staring at him blankly like, "damn. i didn't think about that." KHSSDLKSDH HELP so they go to a lil pet store, i think they figure out a clever way to keep her warm and make her a strange makeshift enclosure. tldr, she gets all set up...except they have to Hide her ( also prolly in some elaborate way ) bc they're not supposed to have pets in the dorms and at first, tolkien was so Anti-Glizzy, like he made clyde put up lost lizard ads online/stuff on craigslist...

...buUUUUt accidentally got attached to her and secretly took the all listings down. anyways, happy pride month ft. rm!tyde co-parenting a lizard daughter together. the world is a beautiful place, in fact. <3

#nina speaks #sorry this made me laugh #too much #homoerotic activities smh #just two guys being dudes being lizard girl dads #i love rm clyde and rm tolkien theyre so funny #also clydes dinosaur hyperfixation was going off #he is just...the most distracted ever #not alert that king #tolkien was like go put that thing back where it came from rn #but im sure clyde cried so he was like #siiigh OKAY #the way i bet u in the begining tolkien was like oh my god #what a Foul and ODIOUS creature #and now she is his special lady ok she hangs out with him while he does art projects and when clyde is saying weird stuff #hes like *looks at glizzy* i kno darling it does sound like bullocks doesnt it KDHSDLSHDKDH GO TEAM GO #also idk what her name is i just wanted to laugh #it has to be insane i know clyde named her something weird #also its so funny to me in a weird way rm!tyde is like slightly ravesey coded in a diff font their double dates are iconic #we love the hottest baddest man in the universe #and his cute pathetic boyfriend w/ the pretty eyes #music to my ears lmaooo tolkien and jerseykyle everyday watching clyde and ravenstan interact like #oh god what are we doing what have we done #it is like taking ur boyfriend to the dog park help #also i know that ravenstan was like WOWZA SHES SO CUTE #and jersey was like aLRIGHT BOYS SHOWS OVER #STAN WERE NOT GETTING A CRAZY LIZARD THING #STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS DONOVAN U SHIDIOT #15 min loop of jerseykyle about to strangle rm!clyde #its ok he grew on jk like mold smh he is...fond of him

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