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borisbubbles · 4 years

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20. SAN MARINO

Senhit - “Freaky!”

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Before we start, SORRY for not updating sooner. PED hit me sooner *and* harder than I anticipated and one of my tooth fillings dropped, so I’m currently on painkillers. Also the EBU’s online ‘replacement show’ for the first semifinal... :shudders:

However, allow me to bring some happiness into my life (and by proxy, yours), by discussing the one, the only, the true 2020 Queen of EuroTRASH....

...

... Samanta Tina, in a few updates. 🤭

Until then, let’s dish on Senhit.

Entry Analysis.

Hang on. Senhit you say? THIS SENHIT?

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Yes, I am FOREMOST cuckoo-completely for the fact that SRMTV dug up this haggard frump from her crypt and forced her to do Eurovision simply because they had no other options <3 (and also because they had an Azerbaijani hand-me-down more on that in NF Corner). I always liked Senile Drunk Auntie Senit more than probably should (yes, “Stand by” is boring but 2011 is a dungheap, LET ME HAVE MY RANDOM FAVES OKAY)

Second of all, the accompanying transformation of Senit into SenHIT. We went from this:

to this?

LIFE IS GOOD WHEN YOU’RE IN A FREAKING(!) MIDLIFE CRISIS.

Holy shit, what a transformation into... idek what to describe FREAKY!’s video clip as? A neo-neon-nightmare, featuring aggressively sexual grinding by Senhit, inflicted upon half-naked men in a setting that borrow heavily from Hatari’s BDSM couture? It’s fucking BONKERS.

May I also remind you that Senhit is EVEN OLDER THAN *BICENTANNIAL WOMAN TAMTARATAM* and despite this she manages to sell her sexual aggression as a something *FUNNY* without making herself look like a desperate tart? HER POWER. 😍

I also have to mention the fucking MARKETING campaign that accompanied this mad, menopausal circus of bad taste. You diehards probably noticed the San Marino 2021 mugs (those HIDEOUS teal/pink/sand coloured mugs <3) like I did and like me probably thought it was an elaborate hoax? Turn out... it somehow *wasn’t* a hoax and you could order them on Senhit’s personal website??? WHAT??? Btw, forget about the mugs, how about PERSONALIZED CONDOMS?

SOLD OUT lmfao <3 Bet most Senhit fans never actually used a condom before <3

All of this hogwash for a song that can best be described as an irrideemable pile of disco dreck. 😍 God I was SO on board with UNIRONICALLY stanning San Marino for once. #YesWeSen.

and... then Eurovision 2020 was taken away from me, you and Senhit, and my appreciation towards her quickly dried up before it could settle as unironic stanning.😬 Sigh. BUT WORRY NOT QUEEN’S GOT YOU COVERED.

NF Corner

Oh my fucking god, yes, the codswallop that was “Digital Battle Eurovision”. So, after months of silence (other than Senhit nasically spoiling her participation on social media, which no one really took seriously because come on, it’s Senhit) San Marino held something that was supposed to pass as a “national final” and it’s the shoddiest thing I’ve ever seen in the 8 years I’ve been following the preshow <3

Okay so... This is where Azerbaijan come in. You may not know this yet, but “Cleopatra” by Efendi was, at some point during development, given to San Marino. I’m not sure about the exact details, but from what I heard and assumed, Azer’s broadcaster Ichtimai decided they didn’t need “Cleopatra”, so they gave the demo to San Marino, who then recruited Senhit to sing it in. Sounds like fan fiction and fortunately for us the recordings have made they way to the yubtubs so I can prove you it is gospel. Observe:

Senhit - “Cleopatra”

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YES QUEEN OF THE GAYS <3 (lol I should keep my opinions on Efendi’s Cleopatra hidden for now, but spoilers I am going to fucking RIP that crock of shit to shreds once I get there).

So anyway, at *SOME* point after giving “Cleopatra” to the San Marinese, Ichtimai must’ve decided that “nope, Cleopatra will be OUR entry, thx” and punted Senhit out of her glorious pseudo-historical trash anthem (more on that too when I rank Azerbaijan), a WEEK before the deadline, (😂🤣) which of course meant that San Marino had to *improvize*. 😅

Enter: a ramshackle SING-OFF between two songs, deadline ON THE MORNING OF THE DELEGATION MEETING. 🤣. Your choices:

SONG #1 A trashy disco song that never would have stood a prayer at Eurovision and would’ve been a disaster in every universe, especially *and* including our own, but was complete lip service towards any vocal Stan Marino.

SONG #2 The English translation of a competent, but somewhat tepid electropop song that Senhit had released in Italian in September, mere days after the 2020 season had started. Good, but nothing too exciting.

Senhit - Obsessed

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And honestly, it seemed clear that FREAKY! would win from second one? It seemed like the clear follow-up to Serhat (sorta?), a perfect fan service song to keep the balding gays busy so they don’t pick up their phones and vote for boring shit such as Gjon’s Tears. However, when FREAKY! won it was revealed it had only won by a TINY margin over Obsessed anyway. What the FUCK was this year honestly and why does NONE of it make sense.

San Marino 2020 & San Marino 2021

I mean... yes, the second semifinal was compiled of a series of oozing trashheaps and boring smug, and yes, both demographs would provide qualifiers and no, Senhit *never* would’ve been one of them, being stuck in the first half.

It would seem as if “FREAKY!” was a worthy successor to “Say na na na”, but I don’t think that comparison really works. The only things those two songs have in common is their camp and their singer’s inability to sing (lol have I ever said a positive thing about Serhat, ever, in print? I should counteract that by saying something kind: Serhat is very good at... um... being a dentist. 🙂)

However, “Say na na na” also had a universally positive message, even if it adhered the tried-and-true “BELIEVE IN YOURSELF IF YOU DO THIS BANALE THING” cliché.” FREAKY!” literally is a hodgepodge of acid trippy menopausal nonsense, which I personal find more endearing, but Europe would swiftly whisk towards the rubbish bin for being bad and female. C’est la vie.

Nada on 2021 yet and given how desperate and scarce with information San Marino are, I expect no news until the literal last minute. I personally wouldn’t be too surprised if they withdrew, but eh, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. As long as we have Samanta Demon to cover our trip-hop-trash needs, I couldn’t rly care less about San Marino.

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I mean, even if you had *any* doubts how well Senhit would score in the category I named after her, let me recap

- San Marino recruited a random-ass-returnee nobody really asked for. - They initially gave her an Azeri hand-me-down trashpop song about a Macedonian-Greek pharaoh - Azerbaijan then took BACK said hand-me-down trashpop song and made it their entry - Which forced San Marino to flimsily put together a last-minute digital NF where you could decide which of these two HOPELESS songs would facilitate their NQ - The deadline of which was set *ON THE MORNING OF THE DELEGATION MEETING IN ROTTERDAM* (aka the literal submissions deadline) - The obvious winner *almost* lost the vote everyone expected them to win (again!) - and of course: the video clip, the website, the emails, the slogans, the CONDOMS. This is honestly what FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTORS! are made for. Happily take away the first (but not last) perfect score, queen.

Score: 5 Senhits out of 5.

#Eurovision #Eurivision Song Contest #Eurovision 2020 #San Marino #Senhit #FREAKY!#freaky

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rustandruin · 6 years

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Top 5 bisexual characters in anything? 😘😘

LOUISE. I nearly died laughing when I saw this hours ago, and now I’m laughing in delight all over again. What a perfect ask. (I recently made a list of shows with great bi rep for someone else, who didn’t really ask for it but I am that extra.) But I’m always game to celebrate all the wonderful bisexuals who exist in fiction. (BTW, limiting this list to only 5 proved harder than expected, because we’ve had such a wealth of representation in recent years, even if it’s not all perfect, or some characters may not quite use that label for themselves.)

In any case, here are my current faves:

5. Korra (Legend of Korra)

I loved Korra from the moment I met her and her tiny self confidently declared that she was the Avatar. But while I thought it would be nice for her to end up with Asami, because why would the Avatar, a soul that is not constrained by the bounds of gender, be limited in their sexual orientation, I didn’t actually expect it to happen. Because years of TV watching had taught me otherwise. But then something magical happened, and it actually became canon. Korra and Asami did have feelings for each other after all. And now I get to read a graphic novel trilogy where my favourite Avatar works out her sexual identity while I slowly figure out my own.

4. Ianto Jones (Torchwood)

Ianto was always my favourite character when I first watched this series when it first premiered all those many years ago, but it’s only upon a recent rewatch that I realised just how sexually fluid that entire cast of characters was. (Not that I’d expect anything less from a show where Jack Harkness is the lead. But still, this is insane for a show that premiered in the early 00′s.) Nevertheless, there’s something about Ianto Jones in particular that made him my firm favourite early on. I think it has something to do, with the reason why I love him so much now: he has a clear emotional journey from when he loses his girlfriend at the beginning of the series, to being attracted to, and later falling for, Jack. There’s something simple and quite nuanced about the way he explains to his sister that it isn’t all men he’s attracted to (or rather, loves), but rather, just Jack.

3. Henry “Monty” Montague (Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue)

Monty is the teenage personification of a walking bisexual disaster, and I couldn’t love him more. He’s smart, but selfish, sensitive, but quite rude. Not to mention, privileged, entitled, and utterly insensitive to the plight of anyone else but himself. He’s a complete flirt, but also in love with his best friend. All of this combines to a fantastic journey of growth and self-discovery that sees him transcend his previous tendencies and grow to be a better person who is worthy of the boy he loves. Oh, and the most impressive part? He’s the bisexual protagonist of a historical YA novel, written by a bisexual author who took pains to ensure that everything was guided by modern sensibilities even though it is set at a time when attitudes toward the LGBTQIA community were less than friendly. (Also the sequel features Monty’s most likely asexual sister who might be romanced by a lady pirate captain, as she attempts to attend medical school like she so deserves. I don’t know how I’m supposed to just sit around and wait.)

2. b) John Constantine (Legends of Tomorrow, Hellblazer)

John is technically my first favourite bisexual character ever, because I loved him before I even knew what that label was, or that I identify as it. Instead, I just read the Hellblazer comics as they followed the adventures of my favourite smart-talking, hard-smoking, trenchcoat-wearing occult detective. (The only thing I love more than a detective is one that uses magic. See also: Harry Dresden, and Skulduggery Pleasant. I have a type.) But then as talk of the TV series came about, I saw somewhere that he was bi and lost my shit a little (In retrospect, it feels silly that it took me as long as I did to figure myself out). Of course, the NBC show did not honour that aspect of his identity, which makes me only gladder that he’s going to be a regular on Legends of Tomorrow next season because Matt Ryan was born to play him.

2. a) Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

How do I love Rosa Diaz? Let me count the ways. She’s a fantastic friend and amazing co-worker who has her colleagues’ backs even when they’re at their most stubborn and uncooperative. Stephanie Beatriz’s performance over these last five seasons has imbued her with a growing sense of warmth under that tough demeanour that only emphasises how much she’s grown as a character. (And the journey we’ve gotten to see her go on.) But beyond being a hilarious character with many levels who constantly kicks ass and is also the most relatable, she got to have a coming out arc that has been sensitively crafted, after Beatriz herself requested her own real-life orientation be reflected on screen. It’s a perfect example of how a character’s sexual identity can inform and enrichen their relationships without detracting from who they are. And I couldn’t be more grateful for it.

1. Robert Sugden (Emmerdale)

Look, I love Robert, but I never actually expected him to top this list. But then I gave it some more thought watched Aaron’s reunion speech, and I realised that it actually makes sense that he would. He’s a smart, funny, at times self-serving and flawed character who’s been through a lot. But somewhere along the way, he’s managed to grow and go on a journey of self-acceptance and find love and happiness and a family. (In some ways he’s a grown up Monty.) Like many of the characters on this list, he’s also got layers. He’s schemed and lied and cheated his way in and out of trouble several times over, but that’s only made him a more fun character to watch. (At least for me.) This is of course in part to Ryan Hawley’s performances, which has had to sell various facets of Robert’s personality, while retaining all the things it is that we love about him.

Also, for me personally, as someone who regularly writes fic about this character, and from this character’s point of view, I feel a bit more of a personal connection to him. I’ve used his feelings and in-show experiences as a launching pad for my own writing and as an outlet to explore whatever it is I might be feeling or headcanoning in the moment. It’s helped me grow as a writer and a person, and sometimes what’s what you need your favourite characters to do for you. No matter which stage of your life you may be in.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: Jesper Fahey (Six of Crows/Crooked Kingdom), Loki (Marvel), River Song (Doctor Who), Waverly Earp (Wynonna Earp), Petra Solano (Jane the Virgin), Dutch (Killjoys), Darryl Whitefeather (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend), Margo Hansen (The Magicians), Charity Dingle (Emmerdale), Clara Oswald (Doctor Who), Callie Torres (Grey’s Anatomy), H.G. Wells (Warehouse 13), Bob Belcher (Bob’s Burgers, not confirmed, but would be amazing), Gomez and Morticia Addams (The Addams Family - not confirmed, but come on), Salem Saberhagen (Sabrina the Teenage Witch - again, not confirmed, but come on)

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