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intimidating-fettuccine · 2 days

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Hi! Can I request Masky with a gn! reader that is stronger than he expected? Like, maybe they’re training or even roughhousing and he expects them to fold easily, but next thing he knows he’s on the floor? 😂 I always find this kind of funny, but do you think you could also make it a little spicy? (Also, I did this literally exactly at 2 for me, it’s always difficult to remember where has what time frame y’know?)

I know you said Masky, but I did write for specifically Tim, because my Masky would not have enjoyed this situation.

Tim is a pretty hefty guy. He's decently tall, and he's been working on bodybuilding for years, so he's definitely not lacking in strength. That's why when the two of you started training together, he wasn't exactly worried about losing. He's confident in his abilities, and it's not that he thinks you're weak, but he wasn't really thinking that you'd be able to take him down easily. You've obviously got some power and strength to you too to be able to be one of Slender's employees, but Tim is one of the leaders for a reason because he's one of the strongest in the mansion and he knows how to lead and fight.

At least, that's what he tells himself as he goes into your training session. You seem oddly relaxed as you stand across from him, and it sets Tim on edge a bit to see you so calm, but he shakes it off, thinking it must be his imagination. He knows you're strong, so he doesn't hold back when he starts launching attacks at you. While he's not intentionally trying to cause you severe harm, it's clear he's trying to test you and see just how much you can handle. Perhaps Tim should have realized that you'd be doing the same to him. You take his strikes efficiently, letting him think he's got the upper hand before you counter one of his hits particularly well. It catches him off guard, and makes him stumble back, but doesn't do too much overall, at least in his mind. Tim clears his throat nervously as he watches you roll your shoulders and crack your neck before you resume your fighting stance once more. He takes a deep breath and launches back to fight you again, but he shouldn't have been so careless. It doesn't take long this time before you've got the upper hand, having memorized all of his moves, and soon Tim is on his back staring up at the ceiling, a gasp shooting out of him as all his air leaves him.

You have him effectively pinned, even pressing your foot into his chest to hold him there, and Tim can only stare up at you in shock and awe as his heart races and thumps beneath your pressure. His face soon begins to flush red, even the tips of his ears staining with the blush taking over him. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" You smirk as you taunt him, and it causes him to grow even more flustered. He opens his mouth to respond to your taunt, but nothing comes out of his mouth as he stares up at you, clearly affected by the situation the two of you are in. When you smile at him, giggling at the situation as you go to help him up, he finds himself feeling vulnerable in a way he hasn't before, and he takes your hand tenderly as you pull him up. Level with you once more, he finds himself staring at you with mixed emotions, but one thing is for sure in his mind; you should do that again. The words slip past his mouth before he can stop them, and they catch you off guard, causing you to laugh again as they settle into your mind. You wrap your arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek as your body flushes against his. When you whisper into his ear that you'd be quite happy to his body trembles against yours, his hands moving to grip your hips before he can stop them. Tim tells himself he's going to have to train with you more frequently as he eagerly presses his lips against yours, his heart racing for another reason now.

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta semi-spicy #semi-spicy #tim wright semi-spicy #creepypasta x reader #tim wright #tim wright headcanon #tim wright headcanons #tim wright x reader #masky #masky headcanons #masky headcanon #masky x reader

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snackugaki · 11 months

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...visdev really is my enrichment activity for i am just a bored tiger in my enclosure, looking to figure out how to get this steak out of this metal ball.

________

my tmnt au (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)

tmnt au part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

tmnt au omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

lny visit 1 | 2

also uhhh... i guess still idw, next mutation, and like 1 mirage spoiler? mostly for the kids who haven’t but were planning to read/watch

you’re about to perceive so much

p r e p a r e

so close to getting this AU looking as crunchy as i want it, almosttttt tttthhhhhere...!

just somewhere tasty between Mignola’s use of deep black shadow, what MTV Liquid Television woulda greenlit re: The Maxx, a dash of 2007, 1 part Next Mutation, 2 parts funny proportions

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh str ugglingggg

Leo’s shortest because haha (family baby gang, get rekt)

this is so much thought for something I’m just doing to give these turtle ninjas some softness and the genx/millenial pop culture references gag comics

Splinter is full of ghosts

(specifically the onryo borne from the murdered Yoshi Hamato and Tang Shen [because oroku saki a bitch])

[ redacted ] and Tang Shen’s ghost gained control and guided Splinter to raise the boys in love and not [ redacted ] to [ redacted ] in [ redacted ]

Splinter was just a regular little rat... who on his 1000th birthday witnessed the death of his friend/unwitting master and his wife, and thus transformed into a wrathful kyūso (minus the kitten eating) and chased Shredder until losing his trail in New York

Shredder’s fuck around and Splinter’s rampaging as the find out caused the tengu to repo some of the mysticism from ninjutsu

now all the (remaining) ninja clans debuffed and mad about it

The tengu bestowed the ninja the ability to summon shit (kuchiyose), enact mystical effects upon people and objects (kuji kiri), going invisible, minor flight (actually just qinggong/light body technique), and manipulation of the 5 elements, and creating doubles (bunshin)

but again, Shredder fucked up so now ninja can like barely control anything bigger than a lit torch or a 16 oz bottle of liquid and that’s if you got in enough hours to do even that

I mentioned elsewhere but for me in any AU I make, Venus is a cultivator and the more I think about it the more I will die on this hill, not only does it fit better than her being a “shaman” or “shinobi” it’s sick as fuck

Jennika’s origin was pretty fkkn metal, she still falls in with the Foot, gets shanked, Leo gives blood-- bam, turtle time

Jennika goes to hang with Venus in China and get a better understanding of her new turtle body

Keno’s here, still tried to infiltrate the Foot (with Jennika) but bugged out when she couldn’t stay without being made (Jennika refused to leave womp)

teaches Leo some arnis techniques for Leo’s dual wielding; Donnie also just in case his bo is shattered... again. :)

Irma has made all the boys blush at least twice

Irma is also soap opera buddies with Splinter

they meet up at least twice a month to gab, gush, and groan over what’s currently going on in their stories, when Venus visits she also joins in, Irma also has a conversational grasp on Japanese and Venus’ regional dialect because of these visits

April has a full out shoujo manga romance with Chu Hsi

and he’s a hot dragon prince uhuhuhuhuhu

Irma is privy to all the steamy details

keeping Leo and Karai as character foils

both received scars from one another

both released each other from sealing wards from [ redacted ]

now they just meet every so often to eat the greasiest fast food and unclench of an hour

Raph still gets his ass worked by Ninjara, folded like an omelette sat on a lawn chair

Vam Mi is also here, she’s fought first (because honestly she should’ve been either brought in earlier in the season or had a few more episodes because that shit coulda resolved better)

Venus is brought to NYC for this antagonist instead of Dragonlord escaping (and murdering her father figure forcing her to seek out his friend Splinter for aid)

Donnie doesn’t take the news of real vampires or real magic well

Donnie and Venus have a knock down drag out fight over it (because they’re 17 at this point and being li’l shits to each other about their respective fields of expertise)

“The nerds are fightingggggg!” cries Mikey, Leo and Raph don’t believe it so imagine their surprise when they get a demo in real time on how scary competent staff fighters are

Leo gets Splinter when one of Donnie’s missed strikes cracks the concrete

Splinter breaks them up like talking a walk in the park and it’d be comical if they both weren’t bleeding from the mouth and peppered with swelling contusions

Venus begins accepting Donnie when his tech prevents her from becoming a thrall of Vam-Mi

Donnie begins accepting Venus when she uses a massive amount of chi to manipulate gravity just before he becomes street pizza when Vam-Mi throws him off a bridge

they also combine skill sets to save Mikey so there’s that

Venus goes from calling Donnie, “Horatio (derogatory)” to “Horatio (affectionate)”

they now have a dumbass long-as-fuck handshake that’s unforgivably nerdy

April is still a magic drawing-brought-to-life baby, Venus puts her in a painted scroll when she starts phasing in and out of existence (she and Chu Hsi have a great time in the scroll... while everyone is shitting bricks until Venus and her sect stabilize her and get her made real, Pinocchio style)

April’s grandmothers gifted Venus 2 pieces of jade jewelry, and her family’s recipe for sweet potato pudding respectively for saving April

the boss fight against Dragonlord is dope as fuckkkkk, Chu Hsi is being cool as fuck, fiddled with some concepts* that has Leo and Karai being a champion of Genbu, Raph for Byakko, Mikey for Suzaku, Chu Hsi’s retainer (a good dragon, wink wonk) steps in for Seiryu because Donnie and Venus are siphoning and redirecting an enormous amount and variety of mystical power

*i’m just pulling from fushigi yugi honestly

splinter, the boys, and venus (and others) mutating from mutagen laced toxic waste was a pure accident

Splinter was investigating a lead on Shredder’s movements concerning the Foot the same night an animal liberation sleeper cell ‘freed’ some animals from the back of a pet store (that was a front for black market domestic and exotic animal trafficking) that is also the same night a stolen truck driven by some corporate spies filled with a competitor’s chemical waste, which then collides with said liberation sleeper cell’s truck and... ooze happens

Leatherhead, the Mutanimals, Mondo, Mona Lisa, Slash also get mutated from the events of that night, either leading up to or following the aftermath

plus some others etc etc

Venus still washes down the gutter, gets rube goldberg pinballed onto a crate of plums where Chung I finds her and still gets named Mei and taken to live in China and eventually learns to cultivate

Tokka and Rahzar get made, and unmade ala TMNT II; the mutagen made them a little silly tho, April adopts Rahzar and passes him off as a low content wolfdog, Leatherhead takes in Tokka

April went through a couple of major changes so now she’s a journalist with a computer programming background who now does a podcast as an informal neighborhood news reporter with a segment for chatting with people from around the street

Mikey’s the most frequent guest and co-hosts sometimes; Donnie troubleshoots free of charge

Venus brings her province’s regional delicacies when she comes to visit, Splinter and Leo both get pu er tea cakes (she managed to get one the same age as him; Splinter is too old so she got the oldest she could find, Leo has so many tea pets and a nice yixing collection); Raph, Keno, and Casey fight over the pickles, meat jerkies, and chili oil; Mikey has an artillery of cool shirts and a lifetime supply of haw flakes, Donnie has a mountain of doodads with increasingly specific uses, April gets neat accessories and the occasional care package sent with Venus from her grandparents, uncles, and aunties; Irma gets neat frames and coats that never fail to get a “Where did you get that??”

Raph rides a Kawasaki Ninja because it’s funny

A lot of bodegas give Mikey free snacks because the bodega cats love him, and he’s also saved some from being run over or ripped apart by stray dogs or the few large angry raccoons

Donnie’s the only one of his brothers to wear both a top and bottom with shoes because once he figured out how to integrate a motherboard and miscellany wiring onto clothing... he’s been a walking computing menace ever since

Splinter does his best to enjoy his time with his sons (because as a kyūso, he knows the chances of outliving his precious sons is very high (ᴗ‿ᴗ✿) ...give or take one of the many opponents and obstacles his sons take on takes him out first ( ◕ᴗ◕✿ ) )

god whathefuck, I was just going to make silly comics for them. how did it come to this.

#i'm so curious #some of you kids tag this shit as 2003 #and i'm ???#i'm not subtle about being an elder millenial #or about who my childhood turtles were #i love trash #i love the next mutation #like is it to keep your tag active?#i feel like it's probably the thing #where someone assumes they're interacting with someone of their same xyz #which honestly? fair #a lot of the TMNT fans I see are 03 or 12 fans #there's a few other Turtlemania survivors around that I see #but not a lot of us #:(#...i'm still laughing at that poll #with the arbitrary age cut off being 37+#sorry poll op #it's just... it was literally oddly specific #ba dum tss #if you know why I used apples as a measurement...#...hahaha you also like Sanrio #if you know who I based Irma off of...#can you blame me #Nadia is who Irma would be #if she kept the cheek but mellowed out a li'l #so much weird shit happened to her #so of course she'd simultaneously be #blase cheeky and wry #visdev is my enrichment activity

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rudjedet · 1 year

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Favourite type of twitter guy is someone who makes a TIL thread based on a tumblr post or reddit post or other twitter thread full of misinformation, especially when they start frantically googling the topic only after someone asks them to provide a source for their claim, and then they try to pretend they got all their info from an article that they definitely didn't read because if they had, they'd have known that what they just "learned" was bullshit.

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anghraine · 8 months

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“Boromir, O Boromir!” he [Faramir] cried. “What did she say to you, the Lady that dies not? What did she see? What woke in your heart then? Why went you ever to Laurelindórenan, and came not by your own road, upon the horses of Rohan riding home in the morning?”

There's a lot going on here, but today's deep thought: to be a fly on the wall when Faramir meets Galadriel in person

#that outcry just seems so oddly specific when nobody has told him anything about galadriel's test #also i choose to believe he keeps using the old quenya name at least once in galadriel's own presence #literally the only other person who does this is treebeard. it's so weird.#and i can only imagine how strange any interaction between faramir and galadriel would be honestly #i mean i also love it in the faramir goes to rivendell au but there's a specific flavor of strangeness to the canon baggage #anghraine babbles #faramir #galadriel #legendarium blogging #deep blogging #jrr tolkien #lord of the rings #jewel of the seashore

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hystixia · 3 months

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heyy dont get your hopes up because im extremely shit at this, but i may be writing a jeff mason x reader fanfic lmaoooo but heres the catch (totally fine if you dont want to do this) i always chicken out and overthink the characterization of jeff- i need some tips from THE jeff mason writer jgdgdfkjgnd like how u write him is so perfect *swoons*

I FUCKING LOVE HOW I HAVE SO MANY TITLES AND THIS IS A NEW ONE OMG OAODKADKEO “THE jeff mason writer” you’re so sweet omgomg im kissing you sm right now AKDOWOFOGKW

honestly though i just imagine what his mannerisms are like if that makes sense ?? i watched his case file so many times i could literally picture different ways he’d act in certain scenarios in a fic if i ever wrote one ( which i eventually did MAODOWODEO ) writing dialogue might just be the hardest part abt him though. cuz his dialogue ( at listen visually looking at it on a screen ) is written differently compared to how i’d normally write for “jeff the killer” ( this is just my own take and personal preference on writing his dialogue btw. you do not have to try what i do. it’s just to give a little more detail to him and it itches that one part of my brain when i read my own fics.) if that makes sense. whenever i’m writing for him, i make sure i can picture him actually saying/doing whatever im writing in my head ( kinda like watching a scene of a movie play out in your mind ) or else i try to rewrite it to sound more like jeff mason. im really bad at explaining shit because all i can really say is watch his case file and really focus on what he says and how he behaves to get a grasp of his character. and then mess around with dialogue until you think or know it sounds like something he’d say !!

#! doll takes notes !#! sessions !#also . . . add his lil ‘heh’ sometimes too cuz omfg when he does it in the case file and his sessions i literally go insane #but yeah i hope this was alright ? if you have anything more specific to ask just lmk cuz i can definitely try to go in depth in something #that’s more specific. when it’s kinda open like this it’s hard to explain properly how i write him cuz as you can tell my brain is a fuckin #mess even when writing abt him LMAO i feel like i do it so oddly but it helps me even if its kinda time consuming i suppose #BUT YES OMGGGG PLEASEEEEE DO TAG ME IN THE FIC WHEN YOU DO POST IT !!!! i will gladly eat it up i love jeff mason smmm

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steakout-05 · 2 months

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very long post about how i as an Australian think the American date structure is silly and confusing under the cut

as an Australian i already think America is pretty funny, like the imperial system is both confusing and incredibly funny to me, but what i really don't get is the way dates are written in America

like.... for context, in Australia, we write days like day/month/year. and i like this because the most important information is the thing you read first. you want to know what day it is, you just look at the first two digits you see and you're done!! in some other counties like Japan and South Korea, they write it like year/month/day, which i also think is ok because it's still in a cohesive and easy to read order. you just go to the end of the date to see what day it is and it's simple!! it's all good! it's easy to read! this is nice!

but for some reason, the dates in America are written like month/day/year and i'm just..... i'm so confused!?!??!? why would you jump to the MIDDLE of the date to see what day it is???? it's so cluttered and jumpy and trying to read it in order is just... kinda irritating. the most important and immediately needed information is shifted to the middle of the date ans then you gotta go back and then jump forward again if you wanna read the whole thing and i'm just. actually bamboozled at that. who did that. who is responsible for that blunder at the workplace. i will find them and i will break their kneecaps and i-

ALSO you have no idea how many times this date format has absolutely screwed up schedules and post dates for me. imagine that there's like an online event or something coming up and they have a schedule for what day they're holding it, but it's just written like 05/03/2024. my Australian ass is going to read that as the 5th of March 2024, but someone in America is gonna read that is the 3rd of May 2024. do you see how confusing this can become. there is zero distinction between the two dates because they're written in the exact same way but have a different structure. this is fine for dates that go over the number 12 or are the same number, but it's still confusing and frustrating, especially when the website doesn't say what timezone setting you're on or won't let you change it (which some of them don't). it's quite a specific issue but it's still an issue and i hate it i don't like it i want it fixed please patch

maybe i just have a more logical way of thinking and i like having things be in order, but goddamn just write your dates properly i can't take it anymore /nsrs

#america is so silly sometimes #not that australia is any better lol but y'know #this post isn't really that serious i just find the month/day/year format to be weird #like why is it so jumpy???? america explain #i never saw how this is convenient or easy to read in any way it's structured so oddly and i just #it's a really america-specific way of writing dates and literally everyone else (except for a couple other countries) will be confused by i #america always has a really specific way of doing things....#like the imperial system for example. i don't think there's many other countries that use that system and yet #like idk wtf a yard is!!! what is that!!!! what is a yard!!!!#one thing i don't get is miles. why is it a little more than a kilometre. why is it used as a synonym for kilometre. just use kilometre #i'm like that meme that goes ''WTF IS A KILOMETRE!!'' except i'm yelling ''WTF IS A MILE!!!'' in a thick aussie accent #miles are really kinda confusing though... why are you using a measurement that's a kilometre plus 600 metres?#why not just use kilometres? it's more structured and doesn't muddle everything up by adding an extra 600 metres-#-to every kilometre you travel #maybe i just don't understand math very well (which i don't) (to the point where i might actually have dyscalculia)#but i feel like using a measurement that just adds a decimal of like 600 metres gets really confusing to read and figure out #decimals are just confusing in general #they're like in-between numbers sometimes but also not?? i don't get em #speaking of decimals and dates again the pi day thing doesn't really work over here in australia #it would actually be 14/03/2024 here #lots of date jokes don't work here and i'm slightly angry at that #america is weird #america is silly

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spinoff-antithesis · 1 year

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(muth being music theory!)

#FUCK IT MY OWN EDITION OF THE ODDLY SPECIFIC POLLS BC THESE ARE FUN #me when i've been obsessed with space/time stuff since i was a KID its more an interest than hyperfixation rn but man.#media with any of those?? i am OBSESSED (star wars rottmnt movie etc etc) like i hyperfixated on dr who for a year in middle school #the skateboard one is so funny. in high school my guard instructor saw me with a friend's pennyboard & immediately said no.#me when i was notoriously clumsy in middle + high school so everyone i knew was like. “this is a bad idea” when i did anything #my first semester of college i bought a longboard off someone then 5months later i turned around & ate SHIT it was so funny in retrospect #anyway fun sage lore i have only ever heavily injured the left side of my body. my knee + elbow and the SAME FUCKING TOOTH. TWICE.#also i have a high pain tolerance. like idk how or when but in middle school it just got Really Strong. me when i injure myself and just #live with it for a year before it becomes a concern and i get told to get an xray (i will live with a fractured knee the rest of my life)#also when i fell off my skateboard and ate shit my first concern was “ah fuck my glasses did i break my nose” and #“nah my elbow isnt broken! my arm is just rly sore from how i landed on it” (readers. it was in fact fractured.)#like i literally went “no im fine we dont need to tell my mom or go to the er” and my friends said “call your mom and go to the er”#me spitting out my tooth and blood bc i also busted my lip: that hurt. time to hobble back to my dorm.#anyway hiding this one in the tags bc i will never not just ignore my issues LMAO did it with my ptsd dx and i will continue to do it #another incredibly hyperspecific thing: oh this doesnt seem normal! im gonna ignore it and hope it goes away #these symptoms match up to something? nah i'm sure it's not that! (proceeds to get dx'd with ptsd five months later)

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lucalicatteart · 1 year

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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 10: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should join the travelers on the larger river boat for a short lunch ...

"Before he even fully musters the courage to shout a 'hello', the large group on the boat initiates contact first, gleefully waving at him, whooping and shouting as they near his tiny raft in the water. Apparently, some of them were betting over whether they'd actually find any other travelers out on the river today.. He fumbles over his words a bit, as always, but somehow manages to successfully get himself invited onto their boat for a quick lunch..

After safely securing his raft to the side of the boat with some spare rope, he climbs aboard, stumbling into the excitement of some sort of celebration. A few of them explain that they're traveling for 'kahesallei', an old elven holiday recently re-popularized in some of the larger cities nearby. Whatever it's true meaning and origins used to be, the current significance (at least to those within the city walls) seems to just be mindless feasting, drinking, and gaudy decor. Most of the traveling group are strangers to each other, only brought together by catching a ride on the same tour/party boat, but the mood is light, quite friendly between them, and perhaps a bit drunk.

While the boat itself is relatively plain wood, it's been strewn with gold and orange banners, flags, shimmery tassels, beads, and bushels of dark green ivy braided with fresh herbs and wildflowers. There are flat round tables of food and drink, plenty of cushions to lounge on, and one random guy perched precariously on the edge railing of the boat, gently strumming a lute for background music..

The elderly ship captain hobbles over to The Adventurer, sternly explaining that, no matter what the 'silly' passengers say, he's only allowed to stay for an hour because he didn't pay for a boat ride ticket, and thus really shouldn't even be allowed on board. By the time The Adventurer has mentally processed this information, the captain has already returned to his little steering room, slamming the door shut with a displeased grunt.. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to confront him or question the rules...... But! Hey, at least he has one hour at the party.. How should he spend his time? "

Additional Information

the adventurer's current main goal: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

#paventure posting #polls #poll #choose your own adventure #LATE AGAIn I know.. I'm still in my weird unproductive spell. literally I've had the same 5 to do list items on my list #for 2 weeks now. I can't even do five simple things in 2 weeks lol. I did start some new supplements and change my diet since #my doctors are still trying to sort out what health issues are going on or etc. so maybe it's something with that #like accidentally on the new diet I'm not getting enough calories or not getting enough of some vitamin or something so it's made me oddly #brain foggy and just really tired and unable to focus well for the past few weeks or something..? ANYWYA. not really sure what #it is specifically but my functioning in terms of actually focusing on and completing tasks has been a lot worse . thus #chronically behind on things. which I am always chronically behind on things in some sense since I always have like 7000 projects #I'm working on at the same exact time and etc. lol. but like.. even more chronically behind than usual .. ToT #ANYWAY.. I'm suprised that the 'try to get a ride on the boat' option didn't get that many votes actually lol #Like.. treveling down a river in a tiny handmade raft is probably.. not extremely safe or efficient lol #But at least he gets to have lunch there. Just the hour that he's on the boat doing whatever will get him a lot further because the boat #is moving faster than his raft would be. It should still get him out of the river and back on track sooner. Because he still has a long way #to go to get to the abandoned castle. I know it's been a lot of days since I'm not keeping up well with actually doing these #daily or every other day - but technically in the story it's only been a little over a day since he left the Inn #The first day he just walked. the second day he saw there was a barrier in his path. then spent half the day building a boat. and now he'e #*he's where he is now. The trip is roughly 4 days and he's like.. a little over halfway through his second. Not counting any detours or #distractions he might run into. But at least at this pace he should be off the river before it starts to get dark #Thate the main thing. you want to get a good rest on solid ground. ideally. So long as nothing strange happens on the boat #but yeah! day 10.. of little elf man adventure... ALSO he is like early 20s I imagine. so he can drink hbhjbjh #I know the 'very quick simple ms paint style' is kind of chibi-ish so it makes people look young but he's not a boy #don't worry. I didnt want it to seem weird like some 10 year old kid walking into a party of drunk 30 year olds #like a toddler hanging out in a night club or whatever. It's safe and okay for him to be there. just for the record. lol #I mean maybe not SAFE safe. it's still a boat of like.. rowdy party goers who could easily fall over the edge into the water or whatever bu #but like.. safe in the sense that he's not a 6 year old being offered vodka by strangers at a party. etc.#despite his goofy nervous demeanor and chronic baby face syndrome he is indeed an actual adult somehow ghbj

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becca-but-bitty · 1 year

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*looks at how I've gained 5 porn bot followers in one day* ah, the ladies love size difference-related character dynamics, it seems

#g/t #beccas bitty rambles #god i need to learn about the history of pornbots and tumblr. like ive been on it since i was in middle school but like #why is such an oddly specific type of spam pornbot used *here* as opposed to anywhere else. is it even actually doing anything.#like obviously the purpose is to get people to click the link but i feel like tumblr literally has the worst possible user base for that #maybe its just cheaper/less energy to do it on tumblr as opposed to any other social media site? idk

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vaguelydefinedshapes · 1 month

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Goddd there's something so humbling about being broken up with when you didn't really like the person either,, like oh, I'm too much to handle for the guy who made me uncomfortable. Okay. When can I get my hoodie back

#the precipitating event was that i picked him up from work at 10pm so that he wouldn't have to bus home in the snow #and since i didn't really wanna be there and was only doing it bc it felt like the nice thing to do i wasn't in a great mood #(meaning i was kinda asocial not that i yelled at him or anything)#so he asked me like 5 times what was going on with me and then this morning he sent me a snapchat saying he's not in a place to maintain #ANY contact with someone who has “random outbursts”#and then didn't reply when i asked if there was something Specific i did since afaik i was just... generally not super thrilled to see him #and i mean i was trying to figure out how to break up with him anyways since he had a tendency to catcall people #(i think since he's trans he thought it was fine?? but it felt weird to me)#and also he slapped me on the ass when i picked something up and was oddly hung up on understanding why i don't like making out #so like. this wasn't going anywhere.#but also he has my FUCKING baja hoodie and i WANT IT BACK #and if he doesn't respond by the end of the day im literally gonna stop by his house tomorrow and ask for it in-person #also he lost my charger so now i have to get a new one

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boxwinebaddie · 4 months

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OMG YOU SAYING KYLE WAS LOOKING FOR HIS RAVEN WAS SOOO CUTE I WANTED TO CRRYYYY😭😭😭😭 omg we always ask u sm ab him finding out ab stan I DIDNT EVEN THINK AB HOW CUTE HED BE BEFORE HE KNOWS AB STAN AND JUST LIKES RAVEN FOR WHO HE IS😭😭 BC OF COURSE KYLE WOULD LIKE RAVEN BEFORE HE KNOWS ITS STAN THEYRE SOULMATES AND FUCKIGN ADORABLE

no...because, when i tell you that of all the sun and moon boy phases, devHellopments & outrageous stages of Ravesey's RealHat(e)ionship

( this includes the pre!rm!flashback and post!rm!ravesey!hating, which is reeeally saying a lot bc i am obsessed with those sections... )

my favorite part of RM is watching ravenstan go from 'crow' or that cocky bleach blonde bastard, tmz bad boy and asshole lead singer raven tiny pants no last name of crimson yawn/harlot sunslut to Just Raven ( i think the 'corbeau' nickname develops here ) to...His Raven.

from jersey's POV, ofc, who is an unreliable narrator because of his mental instability/all the post traumatic stress/sedative medication he's on, but also because his fear of emotional intimacy means that this section is The Jersey Kyle Having A Fat Crush On Raven Phase except kyle is completely in denial abt it...tho it's Pretty Obvious.

-- to everyone But him, naturally. ;)

***this is a long post, my apologies in advance, darlings.

if our re(memory) serves us right, we might recall that for The Hate, ravenstan gave jerseykyle his personal phone number and that is pretty important because they have...Frequent Text Conversations.

not like...That, you guys! they are friendly or the closest kyle can get to being friendly/casual ( which, is all an act of course, and a very badly rehearsed one bc kyle is internally screaming the whole time. ) So, my friends and contemporaries, I will say that, similar to Pep!Kyle, Jersey does also type in complete sentences and use perfect grammar. He is a robot. Beep boop. and ravenstan, like pep!stan, does type like he's being chased by zombies allsklike this lmaooos!

however, despite the eye n brainsore that is having to decode raven's mindblowingly misspelled, emoji-ridden text messages from hell, jersey kyle...does feel alight with joy every single time he gets one.

ravenstan sends the Dumbest things too like, kyle while grabbing something from the back at grounded on the clock, will hear his phone chime ( he forgot to turn it off, yaknow, bc hes forgetting shit ) and his eyes will light up because he thinks it's raven texting him. and he's distracted like his entire shift and is almost burning himself with the big scary coffee machines because all he can think about is how badly he wants to check his phone ( WHICH IS CRAZY IF YOU THINK ABOUT HOW ADVERSE JERSEY IS TO TECHNOLOGY )

so when his break comes around, he literally SPRINTS!!! to the break room to go check his phone, which DIES!!! so he has to plug it in and wait five minutes...only to find that the text message was just one of those credit card scams, BUT THEN!!!! right before he's about to toss his phone back into his bag & scream loudly into his hands...

...bc what the fuck Why Was He Waiting For Raven's Text Message??? ( emphasis on mess ), kyle's phone chimes ang raven sends him 'this u' and its a super blurry picture of a super tall, bushy tree with an out of focus tan-raven-hand peeking out of the corner of it, which you can tell is his because of all the silver hot-topic rings.

the tree was mostly irrelevant to kyle, because he does think raven has pretty hands and was staring at them and NOT the part of the picture he was supposed to be staring which...when he realized that he was like aaaaahhhh! fuck! and Literally Spent His Entire Break googling pictures of trees so he could send one where the leaves were all yellow/dying so he could faux-a(pathetically) text raven back "Haha. Very funny, asshole. This is you, Blondie. Bad roots and all."

and sat there refreshing his phone, five whole minutes late to clocking back in because he was waiting for raven's response ( overthinking it so hard like -- oh god, was that too mean? nice? oh god, what if he thought that was lame? how do u unsend-- ) who just sent back 'lmaaaaosojdsods jajaja' w/ the laughing crying emoji.

...and let me just say that kyle could not even Hear his supervisor yelling at him to get back to work because he was just admiring raven's lame ass reply, feeling a huge surge of pride swell in his chest.

speaking of things swelling in his chest, namely his cold black heart, kyle does feel it literally skip a beat everytime raven sends him something like 'i saw this and i thought of you! <3' kyle thinks that's so nice, his lovely boy truly <3333 who jersey will find any reason to text like sometimes he's literally down so bad that he started giving ravenstan upHates on how suzie is growing.

for example, once kyle texted him ( trying to be chill ):

"Well, she's still alive...I guess."

w/ a picture of her and kyle flipping off the camera n raven texts back a golden retriever boy 'omgomogm shes so tall & red now! looks like her dad more n more everyday lmaoaoa!!! so pretty! ur doing such a good job with her! i knew you would <333' which...okay one praise kink kyle brain go burr bad kyle...but also a heart emoji?

that made him Blush!!!! so naturally he's gotta send back

"Whatever. Fuck off now. Stay tuned next week when I kill her and send you a picture of her CORPSE."

...then his heart hurts because he knows that is going to make raven sad and stressed out and god forbid he start Crying so kyle amends his original Hatement to "Yeah, whatever. Stay tuned next week."

which is worth it because stan sends back:

'looking 4ward 2 it xx'

GAAAAAAAYYYYY

so ky sends raven suzie upHates & curb upHates...raven sends back a lot of excited emojis: he Frequently requests curb pics. on a more frequent and serious note tho, they do ask each other how they're doing a lot. sometimes raven sends 'ugh, sorz 4 the late response. suuuper late day in the studio today. sooo exhausted ://'

kyle literally frowning at his phone!! hes so :(((( his baby whos Naught his baby!!!! he wants to respond so bad/be like rlly overprotective and worried and shit, but he has to be Aloof And Cool and Uninterested so he literally waits like ten minutes exactly to respond just to say 'That sucks, dude. I'm sorry they have you working so late. Don't worry about the late response. I hope your night gets better."

i???? HOPE???? YOUR NIGHT??? GETS BETTER???? LIKE!!! HELLO!! OKAY WHORE!!!! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NEXT!!!! ASK TO HOLD HIS HAND AND KISS HIM ON THE LIPS??? SHUT UPPPPP

raven and kyle also do send good morning/good night texts sometimes omg ( the first voice message on kyles phone is raven singing 'kyyyyleeee broflooovski, get ur ass up and go to school~" which was the most beautiful sound in the world to him aaaa he literally almost wanted to make it the alarm on his phone ( hes down so bad i am in pain ) but blonde squad would give him shit abt it.

they do...ofc...give him SO much shit about it. because kyle broflovski, who literally only used his phone to make necessary phone calls or check his bank statements, during the secret crush yearning phase, was GLUED to his phone, smiling and giggling omg. and they know who it is but that doesn’t stop bebe going 'who're you sextin', kylie? ;)" like the most annoying little sister in the world smh and kyle is just like 'Your Dad, Barbara. Fuck Awhff."

when blonde squad + kyle and craig are hanging out and kyles NOT on his phone, sometimes he's like nervously looking around and craigs like 'what's his deal?' and marjorine is like 'he's waitin for his lil ol band boy-boyfriend to text him back' aND KYLE IS LIKE HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND AND I DON'T CARE IF HE TEXTS ME!!!

then his phone dings and kyle LUNGES for it because oh my god It’s Raven and its just tweek sending him 'SIMP!' in all caps SMHHH they got his ass oh my god...LISTEN GUYS!!! MEN WHO GO TO WAR & DIE HAVE BEEN LESS DEEP IN THE TRENCHES THAN KYLE!!!!

who...oh my god, once he develops the raven crush...ends his manwhore era? LIKE HELLO????? because he literally isn't turning the blondies house into a brothel of dumb disposable for the streets one night stand men bc he is up all night texting raven in the cd hoodie he left, knees to his chest, smiling at his phone.

which!!!!!! it's not just texts tbh!!! the worst part about stan's death was that kyle had virtually ( literally ) no pictures of him other than the polaroids, school pictures, the newspaper clippings of his death. but raven of crimson dawn...HIS DIGITAL EMO BOY DOC MARTEN COMBAT BOOT SHAPED FOOTPRINT IS HUGE OMG!!!! there is so much raven content on the internet both commercialized and fanmade, like there are so many pictures and videos of raven.

and jersey...does fall down The Raven Rabbit Hole...smh.

he is in class watching crimson music videos, grades slipping, he's at home in his room watching interviews ( but not even for the parts where he's being sexy and cool -- he's watching them for that five seconds where raven laughes or drops something and swears really loudly and aggressively in spanish and then goes 'fuck! i'm sorry' and then is like 'wait, Shit, i said it again' 'oh FUCK i--can you edit this out please?' and hes so embarrassed omg kyle is like cutecuteCUTE )

on a down horrendous note, raven does upload a lot of videos of him doing toolshed!stan things where he fixes up crim, his motorcycle, and sometimes is on live just working on her answering questions aaa smh THE AMOUNT OF TIMES KYLE HAS WATCHED THE RAVEN OF CRIMSON DAWN TATTOO TOUR VIDEO????? specifically this one part where raven pRETENDS TO LIFT HIS SHIRT UP? and then is like woops ;) just kidding. that's a secret <3 AND KYLE FALLS FOR IT EVERYTIME!!!!! WHEN I TELL YOU HE WAS REWINDIN!

kyle....needs to go to horny boy AND SIMP JAIL!!!! RN!!!

okay, last thing about the simp era and texting is that even tho there's a ton of pictures of raven on the internet, hes...moderately possessive im so sorry, so when he gets pictures of raven that raven just sent to him and no one else has...he is like Feral omg.

( theres also a nsfw hc abt this but again, more on that later smh... )

but they're the most cryptid pictures ever of him like in a face mask or like crying bc someone let him pet their dog and took a picture of him w/ them, or omfg, like ravenstan being like ew management sent these pants over but they make my legs look really weird idk ( this is not bait btw he literally is just self concious ) what do you think and kyle is trying to fight the urge to send BARK BARK BARK WOOGA AWOOGA shdlkshds lmaooo and is like 'They're just pants. Get over it. You look fine." then is like fUCK AAA. 'Your PANTS look fine.'

-- but yeah...simp kyle...i love you.

my fave versions of jersey are simp jersey and slut jersey.

OKAY GUYS, i'm actually done now, i just really wanted to show y'all the Raven of Crimson Dawn vs. 'My Raven thing is extremely real bc

because there is a vapid, airheaded celebrity boy who does whatever management tells him, has no original thoughts, is constantly wasted and on some fuck shit, a total degenerate, bag of wet bleached hair, a corporate manwhorbrat sellout who is nothing but trouble aka lead singer of crimson dawn raven too tight pants no last name lip ring

aaaaaaaaaaaand there is a sweet, lovely boy who holds the door open for fifteen minutes because he wants to make sure everyone gets inside safely, swears really loud in spanish when he drops something as little as a plastic fork, knows the scientific name of like every plant and also has stupid little names for all of them, sings to them every morning and every night, has adhd but remembers kyles crazy class schedule, always asks if he's eaten or drank water, was voted people magazines sexiest man alive and thinks hes absolutely hideous in every conceivable way, cries and dyes his hair frequently, bites his lip when nervous, is super lame, believe in true destiny, fate and true love, loves with his whole soft, marshmallow heart, and that is...

...His Raven. :')

-uncle nina who may have a Branch in her eye ;-;;; </3

p.s. last last last thing, liking raven does also make kyles ptsd really really bad so like stan is causing the episodes, but then where jersey would usually whip out a cigarette, he just texts stan or watches a video of him laughing or something and puts the box down AAAA

( he do be watching those Raven Of Crimson Dawn Being Cute For Fifteen Minutes Complications on youtube...smh...SIMP!!!!! )

#i have so much to say about this #but i hope this suffices bc i need to stop answering 237092732 ask messages abt rm bc im obsessed #when i tell u jersey sees raven doin messy hotshotboy shit or just bein managements marionette/their pretty boy puppet #and is like ew whatever literally fuck this guy #but raven doing sweet boy stan stuff and being awkward and helping people n checking on him and being like fml i started crying again #kyle is like...oh god i want to kiss you so BAD #its the way kyle just thinks he has a type...im crying omg #like ur type is stanley marsh #specifically in a hot boy punk rockstar font #BUT THE DISTINCTION IS VERY REAL GUYS #THERE IS RAVEN OF CRIMSON AKA THEIR RAVEN #WHO OOZES SENSUALITY N POWERSLIDES ON STAGE IN THE TINY PANTS MANAGEMENT MAKES HIM WEAR #AND THERE IS HIS RAVEN WHO WANTS TO WEAR SWEAT PANTS EVERYWHERE HAS A LITTLE GIRLS STICKER STUCK TO HIS CHEEK #AND THAT IS KYLES RAVEN #thank you for coming to my ted talk #ill edit this so it sounds better later but i wanted to get this across bc i was oddly passionate abt it lmao

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