#it's been on repeat all morning for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

avocadomin · 2 years

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make sure you guys check out seungmin’s ost that was released today!!

#it's been on repeat all morning for me #this is a step up from here always he sounds so dreamy on here

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eskawrites · 9 months

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okay who’s gonna take one for the team and write a super soft ptsd/recovery ronance fic with the title ‘if you wanted you could do no harm’

#is it gonna be me #ronance #can you tell it's been on repeat all morning #the thing about maya hawke's music is that i'll be vibing to the song as a whole right #and then out of nowhere one specific line will sucker punch me and ruin my entire life #and it's great #ANYWAY do you see the vision???#idk i can't fully put into words what i'm thinking but i'm THINKING #like #something-something post-canon they've won and they're still so angry #(nancy is so so angry)#something like the closure nancy fights so hard for in s2 but on a much bigger scale #looking at all the terrible things the government has done and how none of this would've happened #she never would've lost ANYTHING #if it wasn't for their actions or inactions #something-something a la katniss at the end of the hunger games choosing peeta over gale bc she chooses peace over war #healing over anger #bc there will always be someone to fight and something to fight for #but how long can you really stay in battle?#at some point the something you're fighting for has to be yourself #at some point the strongest thing you can do is choose to heal #SOMETHING-SOMETHING KERREK IN CRITICAL ROLE C1 #a hammer to fight vs a hammer to build #do you SEE the VISION

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diactrl · 10 months

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well, i’m alive, it’s been a while and i’ve missed you ALL <33

#work has been incredibly hard on me #got treated HORRIBLY and never had time for myself #haven’t had the time to do anything when it comes to my hobbies #sleep work shower eat and repeat for 8/9 weeks straight lmao #truly missed you all and i hope you’re doing well #thank you to everyone who messaged me and said so mnay kind things #it’s good to see i was quote on quote wanted here 🥲#OH! and i quit literally this morning! love that for me

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artheresy · 5 months

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Changed my mind, deleted my post, I've decided to abandon the self doubt and ascend to fully realized self indulgence with my Yingxing fic

In the end I'm first and foremost writing this fic for Me. I can include the hcs I want, all the comfort ideas that I want, and whatever else I want to plan!

I can't doubt myself, I must simply be like Yingxing and embrace his attitude to do as I please with confident to rival even the High Elder

#Sorry late hours making me insecure and second guess myself #But dw #I have seen the light now #I will do as I please without worrying #It is a harmless lil hc I will do as I please #Trans Yingxing RAAAAHHH #Comfort hc will be real #It may not come up the most often but I'm still including it for myself because I can #It'll still be my like #First time including any of my trans hcs into a fic but I'm happy to finally have an idea that will allow me to include it #Do note #It will be very much self projection from a transmasc who loves Yingxing but has a complicated relationship with how I view my own gender #And just gender in general all influenced very much by my autism #But again #I am embracing self indulgence!!! It's my fic I do what I want #RAAAAHHH I feel powerful #Watch me revert back in the morning /hj #I wonder if the fact that I've been listening to Love Dramatic by Masayuki Suzuki on repeat for about like #Uh #8 and a half hours I think #Has anything to do with my mental state along with the fact that I'm sick and the fact that it's currently 1 am #I need to sleep okay bye bye goodnight #I'll see yall later #Hsr #honkai star rail #hsr blade #Yingxing

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luvisia · 17 days

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you know sometimes i wonder what will happen when i actually decide to start dating at like. 30. is that weird will i be the weirdo because i feel like not knowing how all that works yet is offputting but i also have no desire to try again at this point in my life

#luvie.txt #going on a date has been the most awkward experience i've had thus far in my life and i'm not eager to repeat it #but hey i'm not the guy who invited me back to his apartment got shitfaced and started touching all over me even after i said nuh uh.#i know i should give it another shot but a) with what time??? and b) i still live at home with someone who can't get out of my business.#not saying dating only women is my answer but it could be #anyways those are my sunday morning anxieties! good morning

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tieflingfaggot · 2 months

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Ha my father just tried to put some music on that wasn't can't maintain. I just shut his ass the f**k down. We're on 48hour can't maintain lock down.

#been just listening to cant maintain and candy cigarettes on repeat all morning #and a little bit of only god can judge me #ajj #he speaks!

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mer-se · 3 months

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I loveeeee having pets but the trauma that comes with having them that is inevitable . fuckin blows

#like leaving the vet er at midnight #I never want my niece to call me hysterical at work ever again #this is the second time now #I got legit flashbacks….was so similar to crybabes and felt like the same bad dream repeating #me and my niece sitting on the floor in trauma man #this time was obviously different though and scarier #I also maybe am weirdly protected sometimes because I was in the process of speeding home #and this extremely slow ass car immediately got in front of me and stopped me from driving fast #like legit stayed the entire drive and it annoyed the FUCK out of me but looking back like #shouldn't have been driving fast definitely not stressed out #he’s not in the clear yet and I definitely won’t sleep well tonight but he’s stable #thankfully.#wasn’t sure there for a while #when we got to the vet the woman looked in at him and started running #and gave me a DNR form and was relaying my answer over the phone to the back #fucking traumatic actually #also my beta fish died this morning too #I don’t like februaries . cursed ass month I swear #I wrote this all half asleep last night #but he went to the vet today and it’s still not great so #poor chubbies #sweetest boy ever too #I wish I didn’t have to go to work today #just wanna go sit with him all day

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twistedappletree · 3 months

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can’t get that stupid tiktok out of my head of that scottish dude singing “get ya hands off mah fawkin chickpeas” to the tune of seven nation army anjdjajxjajx

#at least he sounds Scottish correct me if im wrong lmao #it’s been in my head for like 2 fking weeks #always in the back of my mind im going c R AZ Y #that’s my flavor of adhd btw i will literally subconsciously obsess over a certain song or phrase and it consumes my brain #usually for months ngl #i was driving the other day and at every stoplight i was like #‘GEEEETTTT YA HANDS OFF MAH CHICKPEAS’#at EVERY LIGHT #no matter what i was originally thinking about it fucking breached the wall of my brain #i thought about it immediately after i woke up this morning right when my eyes opened like omfg s TTO P #apple babble 🍎#non fandom #and ngl even when I wasn’t at a stoplight I was repeating it in my head over and over and over all day and its was MAADDENNINGG #it still is #😭😭😭😭😭

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doriantomybasil · 1 year

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be honest how many of your professors make you go “how the fuck did this man get a doctorate” for me it’s at least four

#honest to god my communication prof is kinda stupid #we will ask him a question and he will say “let me repeat myself then say something he never said before #it’s also bullshit most of the time #he disappeared for like three months where nobody could reach him not even the TAs #then we all got an email from him saying that the exam that would’ve been this morning will be held on thursday #like ????#what the fuck dude #there’s also another one who i don’t really think knows what his course was about #it was online and every monday morning he’d log on and start talking about the most batshit crazy things #i have no idea what i was supposed to learn but i could tell you in graphic detail about his knee surgery #i still got a five in that class though #he told us to write a paper about whatever we wanted and gave everyone a five

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rainbluealoekitten · 7 months

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ok mb for worrying everyone but i actually had a BEAUTIFUL afternoon and am feeling pretty happy rn :D rambling about it in the tags ofc <3

#had mac and cheese for lunch so very yum #then slight boy update where he fucking BLUSHED at me today and i've been working very hard to get over him #but was like!!! wtf!!!! what do i do with this!!! and texted one of my best friends #and she told me to fucking ASK HIM why he's been acting shitty as of late #so we formulated a text then he was very very apologetic and explained how he's been feeling as of late #and we chatted for a while which was super nice :))) idk if it's going to last but now we just WAIT and OBSERVE #to see if it's worth it #and then i did a toooooon of work out in my garden really just vibing #like way more research than was needed (did not work smarter over harder) but atm idm bc #it made me feel like i was doing well and honestly i was really just vibing #also put my bird and fish to decompose. still don't know what is up with that lmao #so got to put my hands in the dirt!!!!! fucking love that #now gonna watch outlander i think #or i should check the bio video's transcript quickly before maybe #either way will be fine :)))#i'm glad #and i'm also super proud of myself bc i've made sooo much progress mentally #like yeah everything felt like shit this morning and i was indulging myself there but i have also been owrking so so hard #with walking around angrily repeating that i am grateful to be alive #and pointing out all the shit in the world that i love #and really speaking to myself with love in my heart the way i needed to be spoken to as a child #so yeah :) even if i start to feel shitty again #nobody can take away the moments of happiness from me #there will always be more rays of sun #or more rainstorms bc i prefer those a million times more and guess what!!! rainy season rn :)#peace and love on the planet earth #blue screams into the void

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stars-and-darkness · 10 months

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#you know the level of excitement ppl here get when a new ts song? album? drops?#(don't @me idk anything about ts 😭)#anyway that's me whenever a new miracleofsound song drops #between heaven and hell is 👌👌👌#have i ever played diablo iv? do i know what it's about? fuck no #but i've been listening to it on repeat all morning #ella originals

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soopysoap · 1 year

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man smth about escaping reality through day dreaming about fantasies that you cling onto just to get you through the day and then becoming thoroughly more disconnected to real life until it feels like the only thing that can bring you back is your fantasy becoming a reality always gets me idk

#writes this on a notepad under 'what to talk to my therapist about next session'#agh #like secret life of walter mitty newsies santa fe crazy ex gf les mis on my own rose from gypsy once upon a december anastasia etc etc #first two 100% i sob @ them every time #QUIET AND WHEN I GROW UP FROM MATILDA THE MUSICAL #THOSE TOO #and then the tragedy of getting the thing u so desperately wanted and needed for years only to realize that youre still unhappy. that the pr #problem is with YOU. and the repeating cycle of then disconnecting entirely from *that* reality to chase another fantasy that wont make you #any happier #'when i grow up i will be strong enough to fight the creatures that you have to fight beneath the bed each night to be a grown up'#-miss honey in her 20s who is suffering from severe trauma and unable to escape said traum and stuck in a cycle of unhealthy repetition due #to the trauma #she was also singing this after a bunch of children who were unhappy with were they were in life and with the way they were treated sang thi #this. the entirety of the song they sing about how much they want to be grown up and how life will be better once they are and then it cuts #to this woman who has been 'grown up' for years now and who is wishing for the same thing they are. she herself sings the lines 'when i grow #up i will be brave enough to fight the creatures' etc etc #this was all over the place its 4 innthe morning im so tired just. agh.#it will never not make me cry.#rambles

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coffeebanana · 1 year

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once my little brother was upset about something (and at the time was probably 3 or 4) so he said "I used to have a good day" and i actually think that was very wise of him. like same dude. same

#kayla rants #i'm fine just. frustrated #allergies been driving me crazy all day :(((#so i couldn't do as much as i wanted to today--which is frustrating because i was so motivated this morning!#and now they're finally behaving it seems but i'm too annoyed at literally everything in the world to enjoy it #since i spent the last few hours being pissed i couldn't do anything except lie there with a cloth over my eyes #and kjdbfkjdbakjfkbsdjd i DID used to have a good day :(#at least i cooked yummy food there is that #also--completely unrelated but now i'm thinking of my brother as a kid--when he couldn't pronounce bridge he used to say bitch instead #and kasjfdskfjbd during we had a close family friend over for dinner and at the time my mom didn't like his girlfriend #but anyways the bridge story was told (it was a current thing). and then the girlfriend was like like at least he didnt say ur a bitch #and then he repeated that to her KAJBGKSFJDBG #yeah my brother has all the good fun childhood stories i'm so glad i'm 7 years older and remember that shit #fridge was also bitch for a while i think KAJBDFSKFJBDG

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annoyinglibra · 9 months

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#it’s exhausting to be unwell but it’s even more exhausting to be acutely aware that you’re getting worse #infinitely repeating the words recovery isn’t linear to myself until I can chill the hell out #I didn’t eat at all on Tuesday #well that’s an exaggeration I ate like 10 saltines #I’ve only eaten once today #it’s surprisingly not out of hate for how I look #it’s just a more general self hatred that kinda just applies to everything #idk I wonder if it’s the same shit as a long time ago #a passive perspective on my own suicide #where I just kinda don’t care that this can kill me #which is insane because starvation can trigger my seizures #and my seizures are my biggest fear in terms of ways to die #so it’s really fucking freaky that I feel so neutral about the fact that I just haven’t been eating #like I recently realized that I just haven’t been eating enough in general which has gone on for years and all #but that like despite actively working on that #I kinda just don’t care rn #like I tried to make myself care this morning which is why I ate #god tomorrow is going to fucking suck so badly #considering how shitty I feel at 48 hours with one meal I’m not looking forward to how it’ll feel when I wake up like 9 hours from now #I almost passed out on the stairs today when I even went to grab my food since I knew I wouldn’t even be okay enough to stand at the #microwave so I had to waste money and order doordash #wait just realized this happened the other day too lol I didn’t eat all day and not very much the day prior so when I finally got my food I #almost passed out on the stairs. this isn’t great. I wish I could see my therapist soon #I don’t want to ask my mom for help because it just stresses me out when I’ll have to deal with her actively hovering #and asking what I’ve eaten every day. she hasn’t exactly kept it a secret that she does try to pay attention #I think the reason she hasn’t noticed for the last week and a half ish is because my brother has covid and I think she asked him to help #her find out. anyways.#delete later #tw ed #<- mainly bc it might trigger other people even though it doesn’t feel like a real relapse of it I just think it’s because I’m depressed

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metalheadcowboy · 2 years

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Me when I have to wake up and go to my silly little work place for the 7th day in a row to work my silly little job to earn silly little money to live my silly little life:

#I'm about to vent to hell and back in these tags so warning for that #tw for relapse and self harm 😍😍😍#I feel so rained and void these days it's not even funny anymore #I feel like I'm stuck in a never ending cycle and I'm never going to get out #wake up go to work get home go to sleep repeat #The only think that brings be joy anymore is writing and I guess that's why I've been posting nonstop #to try and keep myself interested but even my love of that is starting to fade and it's scaring me #because I don't want to feel that way again feel like there's nothing left in life for me #When I went to college things were starting to get better and I was happy again but now that I'm in the lull between college and vet school #that I'm not even sure I want to attend anymore I just feel empty again #And this morning was so bad so fucking back I woke up and just stared at my wall for at least an hour #and when I finally did get up fuck it was bad I feel so gross #my arm looks gross I did things I haven't done since fucking high school and I'm so embarrassed with myself #And I know people are going to say things and I'm just going to lash out a get mad like I used to and I don't want that #I don't want to be like I used to be but I feel like it's too fucking late #I'm just regressing and throwing away all of my progress and for what?#a stupid fucking exhausting job and school to pursue a career I don't even want anymore but it's too late to back out now?#I just want to go back to sleep and just escape pretend like this morning was just a dream and I'll wake up completely fine #but no I have to go out and work for capitalist America land of the fucking free and home of the mentally and economically depressed #Tyler Talks #My heart just aches to feel okay again

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icedteaandoldlace · 1 year

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Friends, ya girl is anemic. I got my blood tested yesterday and just got the results in today. Now I'm looking back over all the symptoms I had before, and everything is making so much sense. I just never realized that they were connected because I was chalking it up to hormones and ADHD related issues (and I did think I has anemia a few years ago, but that time I went to the doctor and tested negative). Anemia being behind it all never even occurred to me.

So anyways, I'm on iron now. And hopefully this will help me kick my ice eating habit, because it's been unreasonably difficult to quit.

#I used to eat ice all the time as a kid but I quit when I got braces because I didn't want to break them #I didn't start up again till I got my first job #because we weren't allowed to keep drinks on the counter #we just had to get as much water or tea as we were gonna drink in the moment and then put the cup in the sink when we were done #and then repeat with a new cup the next time we wanted a drink #I didn't wanna do that because we had enough of a shortage on dine-in cups as it was #(plus all the ones I sent back because they hadn't been washed properly)#and we couldn't use the to-go cups unless you wanted to pay the price of a to-go drink #so I would just eat ice throughout the day so I'd get my water intake without wasting cups #YES it's insane there's several reasons I don't work there anymore #but anyway it got me craving ice even when I wasn't at work #which was part of the reason I thought I was anemic that time but I wasn't #so when I continued the habit after moving jobs I didn't think too much of it #honestly the dizzy spells should have tipped me off #and the increased need for coffee in the mornings in order to not be a sleepy fatigued mess #and the legs falling asleep more frequently #but I thought if anything that would be a blood PRESSURE issue and every time I get that tested it's normal #so yeah I've just been out here being anemic and not knowing it #despite being aware of all these issues individually and wishing I knew what to do about it #well now I know #this is like discovering I had astigmatism all over again #once you've gotten used to seeing grass as a big green blur it is DELIGHTFUL getting to see all the many individual blades again

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