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copias-thrall · 4 years

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Why Not?

Mary and Suey need to use their words

(Start at the beginning)

*angst; face fucking*

Sometimes you wonder if Mary’s attraction to you stems from the fact that you had no idea who he was when the two of you met at Mickey’s. Sure, there’s some Venn Diagram-like overlap between your crowd and his—but your exploits and his had never touched. You have a few mutual friends-of-friends that everyone always seems to know—but no substantial connections.

Mary’s never made his past sexploits a secret—even if he’s demurred on the gritty details—so you know his other forays into relationships have mostly been from people already in his orbit from the neighborhood or from his “fan” pool.

Basically: all people who already knew his music.

It doesn’t keep you up at night, but occasionally—when there’s a prolonged, awkward silence, or the two of you get into a heated debate that proceeds slammed doors—you can’t help but wonder. It doesn’t help that Mary seems reticent to bring you to shows—big or small.

And, ok—maybe at first you didn’t really care: everyone and their sister knows a guy who’s “in a band” that never actualizes, and you two are oil and water on your best days, so why invest energy into a band you’re going to be compelled to dislike after the breakup? Once you guys had passed the 3mo mark, however, you knew you had to get serious about it if you wanted to be serious about Mary.

You would have thought it would’ve made Mary happy—you taking a marked interest in his first love—but he’d honestly seemed ambivalent about it. You talking about his songs and asking him questions only seemed to irritate him to no end … so you’d dropped it.

When he’d told you about another Saturday gig—that wasn’t closing Mickey’s—you’d once again offered to come … and he’d been a dick about it, prompting one of your worst fights to date.

“Why do you even wanna be there?” he’d huffed.

“I’m your fucking girlfriend,” you’d retorted.

“So you just want to piss on me and mark your territory, is that it?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, I thought I’d support your fucking passion is all.”

“You never cared before.”

“Oh—I’m sorry! Was I supposed to know everything that mattered to you two fucking seconds in?”

“I just think it’s fucking suspect that all of sudden you wanna be around.”

“So the other girlfriends are fine. It’s just me who’s a fame whore?”

“They’re all into the scene.”

“And what the fuck does that mean? I’m not a bandophile so I couldn’t possibly be interested?”

“It means I’m fucking done with that shit. The switching? The bed hopping? If that’s what you want, fucking tell me right now.”

“Where are you even getting this shit from?”

He’d looked you dead in the eyes.

“You have a reputation, Suey.

At first, you hadn’t even understood enough to be insulted.

“For fucking what? I barely follow the local music scene.”

“You think I didn’t ask around about you? The ‘Ice Queen’? Likes to fuck, but will eat you up and spit you out?”

You’d felt hot and cold all at once—your face flushing then draining of color.

“Are you fucking … are you fucking slut shaming me?!” you’d hissed as you’d jabbed a finger at him.

He hadn’t backed down. “I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder if a girl who’ll fuck anything that moves wouldn’t be looking to take her act elsewhere. The guys might dislike you, but you know they’d never pass up free pussy.”

You’d been trembling with anger at that point and scrubbing tears from your eyes.

“I’ve never … I’ve never hidden the fact that I like to fuck. I can’t believe you with your … your orgies and partner swapping have any fucking thing to say to me about my one-night stands.”

“How do I know you’re not using me for easy access, huh? I can barely even tell if you like me instead of my dick sometimes, and now all of sudden you’re interested in my band?”

You’d screamed and knocked a bowl off your counter, not even caring when the ceramic had shattered into shards.

“I’M SHOWING YOU I LIKE YOU BY BEING INTERESTED IN YOUR FUCKING BAND, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.”

Then you’d grabbed a mug and thrown it in the ground for good measure. It hadn’t shattered, but the handle had broken off. Dissatisfied, you’d turned to your dish rack, but before you could start breaking dishes, Mary had had his arms wound around you.

“Hey, hey … it’s ok. Shh, c’mere.”

You’d screamed again and struggled against him.

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck, I’m sorry. Suey, calm down.”

Mary had managed to pick you up slightly, transferring you from the mess in the kitchen area to the living space, where he’d pulled you both down to the floor against the couch. You’d struggled some more, but only in an obligatory sense.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. Fuck,” Mary had breathed.

You’d only wailed in response, tears now flowing freely.

“I didn’t mean … fuck. I don’t think …” he’d babbled.

“You didn’t think,” you’d blubbered. “All those dudes, and you’re the one with a fucking drawer. How fucking dare you.”

Mary’s hold had tightened, but it wasn't to restrain you.

“Fuck, I know. I’m sorry. I just … it wouldn’t be the first time I thought some girl liked me, when all they wanted was to fuck the band. It’s a fucking sore spot, ok?”

“I’m supposed to be ok with you thinking I’ve been playing you?”

“I just fucking panicked, ok? I—I really fucking like you.”

“Don’t be gross.”

“Fuck off.”

You’d both chuckled.

“I just really fucking like you, and sometimes I just get too far into my own fucking head.”

You’d leaned back into his chest.

“You’re a fucking asshole and what you said was trashy. You said it to hurt me, and that’s not ok, Mary.”

He’d sighed and rested his forehead onto your shoulder.

“I just needed to hear you say it wasn’t true.”

“That’s still fucking insulting, but—” you’d tilted your head toward his, “Mary, I’m not dating you to fuck your bandmates. Now, fucking apologize.”

“I’m sorry I … that I was … my—”

“—that you were fucking cruel.”

“I’m sorry I was fucking cruel.”

“Thank you.”

The two of you had sat like that for a while until Mary had broken the silence.

“You scare me when you react like that.”

“I know,” you’d sighed. “I just … got overwhelmed. I’m … I am working on it, you know?”

“How?”

You’d curled a little into yourself.

“I do go to therapy, you know. It’s been—it is—a process.”

“K.”

“K?”

“Um, ‘ok, I acknowledge your effort and support it and won’t push as long as you’re getting help’?”

“Thanks.” You’d waited for a beat then had said, “Now you have to give me one. One personal thing.”

You’d waited patiently as Mary had considered.

“I was on my own at 19, so the guys are like my brothers—I love them, but they’re fucking annoying, and I hate them sometimes too. I’d give any one of them a kidney, but not my girl.”

You’d sighed. “I’m not going to fuck your brothers, Mare.”

“Yeah, I know. But thanks for saying.”

After that he’d helped you clean up the broken bowl. A week later you’d found your mug back in the cabinet—the handle was out of line with the break, but somehow still firmly secured back into place. You’d also stopped asking about attending his shows.

Thanksgiving came—he’d spent the day with his extended band family; you’d traveled out of state to spend it with your best friend—as you’d been doing since college. She knows a little about you and Mary, and you were happy to stay up drinking contraband wine with her on the trundle bed in her room as you’d scrolled through the handful of personal g-rated pictures you had.

It’s Saturday (your bus back home is at 6am the next day), and your bff and you are downtown just hanging out. You fucking love the energy of South Street, especially Crash Bang Boom, formally Zipperhead. One of the stops on your itinerary is a record store, and on a lark you go to see if Mary’s record is here. You know from one of Mary’s rants that they’ve been struggling to get wider distribution without a formal label, but that there’s a pretty good trade network amongst some of the indie places, and Philly isn’t so far away. You have to do more than a cursory search but!

It’s here!

You pull it out, intent on calling your friend over, when two guys who’d been browsing near you accost you.

“I hear they’re hot right now!” Boy 1 says.

“They used to be so hard to find,” says Boy 2.

You beam. “I know, right? They’re great.”

“You a big fan?” asks Boy 2.

What you mean to say is, I think their sound is very unique, but what you say when you open your mouth is, “I’m dating the lead guitarist.”

The two guys look at each other and snigger slightly.

“Yeah, ok,” says Boy 2.

You scrunch your face at them.

“I am.”

“Ok, maybe online you can peddle that crap, but c’mon,” says Boy 1.

You know not to feed the trolls … but these guys are kind of pissing you off. You tuck the DIY CD under your arm as you fish out your phone; it takes you a few seconds of poking, but you bring up the g-rated pics of you and Mary—most of which are slightly-blurry selfies. You think they’re endearing. Boy 1 and Boy 2 aren’t impressed.

“Are you serious?” sneers Boy 1. “These are clearly post-show selfies.”

“Fucking sad,” says Boy 2, shaking his head.

You’re at a loss because the majority of these are from your couch, so you toss your hair at them.

“Whatever. I don’t need a bunch of fake music boys to validate me. Krissy! Let’s bounce.”

You do end up buying the CD for her—which she promises to listen to in full and then report back.

When you get back to your place Sunday night—cranky and bleary-eyed—you’re surprised to find Mary asleep on your couch, cocooned in your afghan, even though it’s barely early evening. You divest yourself of your outside clothes and backpack before crawling over him.

“Mmph,” he grumbles.

“Hey,” you say, draped over him. “Why’re you on the couch?”

He manages to turn his head toward you slightly.

“You weren’t here.”

“Mare. You can sleep in my bed.”

He wiggles around so you’re both face to face.

“Yeah, I know. Wanted to know when you got back.”

“I still don’t see—”

He kisses you and manages to get his arms free to wrap around you.

“You’d’ve let me sleep if I was in your bed,” he says as he breaks the kiss.

“Yeah, maybe. Only because you’d need it.”

There’s some making out that begins to border on foreplay before your stomach rumbles unhappily. Mary laughs.

“You’re fucking great.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you grumble. “I think I last ate over 12hrs ago.”

Mary shifts to a sitting position. “I’m about to become your best friend.” He wiggles free and makes his way into your kitchen. You wrap the afghan around you as you shuffle after him. He beams at you before opening your fridge and doing his best impression of Vanna White. You peer in to see that there are multiple Tupperware containers jigsawed into your fridge.

“Oh!” you exclaim. “Is this …?”

Mary’s grin is almost a rictus.

“You don’t think I look out for my baby doll? Friendsgiving leftovers, just for you!”

You crowd into his space.

“I don’t know what I should eat first: this bounty or your dick!”

Mary wraps his arms around you, but says, “Lady’s choice.”

Despite how hungry you are, you drop to your knees—afghan pooling around you—and mouth at his zipper. He caresses your head and shoulders, but when he doesn’t insist, you take matters into your own hands; you pet at his semi before unzipping his jeans and taking out his cock and balls.

“You don’t—” he gasps even as his hands are cupped around the back of your head.

“Shut the fuck up,” you say right before you take the tip of him into your mouth to suckle.

Mary likes it fast and sloppy, but tonight you suck him at your own pace—one hand rolling his balls and giving sporadic presses to his perineum. He’s trembling and whimpering, his hands clenching and unclenching in your hair. After one particularly hard suck he cries out, “Oh fuck, please.”

You shuffle around so that your back is against a bottom cabinet, and you make a soft grunt so that he looks down at you. His lips are wet and his eyes are glazed as you widen your mouth and moan encouragingly at him. His hands grip into your hair as he begins to fuck your face.

“Oh shit, oh fuck,” he breathes. “So sweet. Your fucking mouth.”

Usually you do your best to deep throat Mary, but today he seems to sense not to choke you. He’s still fucking your mouth, though—thrusting as deep as he dares, undeterred by the saliva dripping down your chin.

“I fucking missed you—missed this.”

You make sure to lock your gaze with his.

“Fuck.”

You bring your hand back up to his balls.

“OhpleaseOhshitOhfuckOhplease,” he chants, eyes now closed.

You slap your cunt a few times before you slip a hand into your tights to work at your clit in time to Mary fucking your mouth.

“Oh fuck, yeah—that’s right. My cock makes you so hot.”

You let the hand fondling him fall away so you can brace yourself against the counter, and Mary starts fucking your mouth faster. He’s still staring down at you, but now he’s only chanting Fuck over and over again as he pummels your mouth. You think he’ll probably cum first, but it’s actually you—your own adept fingers pushing you over the edge—and it’s only after you moan in time that he shoves you down on his cock as it kicks and shoots its load down your throat.

He lets go of your hair well before you’d even consider tapping out, so you make sure you suck up and down the length of him before he grunts and pulls away from oversensitivity. He looks down at you with hooded eyes as you continue to gently massage your own climax out.

“You’re too fucking good to me,” he says as he recombobulates himself.

You’re just easing the waves of your orgasm at this point.

“So fucking make me a plate,” you purr, knees splayed as you continue to finger yourself.

Mary grunts at you as if he’d like nothing better than to squash you into the floor and fuck the shit out of you—but by the time you’re done massaging the throbs out of your clit and and standing up, he’s got the food containers out and is constructing your plate.

Mary feeds you from the full plate in his lap—quite a departure from the norm (you love feeding him at your feet)—and the two of your talk about your holiday. He tells you about their mashed potato food fight. You tell him all about Krissy’s drama—which mostly entails her parents thinking that her living at home means she’ll be a nun—but you offhandedly mention Boy 1 & Boy 2 in context of your day out.

Mary tenses.

“What?” you ask as you catch his eye. You’re not going to bring up seeing his band if you can help it.

“Nothing.”

“No, what?”

Mary sighs.

“You just. I hate that they didn’t believe you. You are my girl.”

You wriggle up and shrug.

“They’re not wrong. A few close up selfies don’t prove anything.”

“It still fucking sucks, and I hate it. Can we go to bed when you’re done?”

You snort. “You just want to snuggle.”

“So what if I fucking do? I brought you candied sweet potatoes at great cost to my life and limb. You owe me.”

You huff in laughter. “All right, dude. Fine. Let me brush my teeth and then we can … snuggle.”

“Damn straight.”

It’s maybe two weeks later when Mary’s on your couch watching the WWE, your feet in his lap as you play a game on your phone (no way was him being here is going to make you miss your chance at getting a high placing on this week’s special challenge). During the commercial break he plucks at your alumni sleep pants.

“Hey. Have you noticed you haven't worn anything nice in a while?” he says to your leg.

You look up at him over your phone, incredulous.

“Um, ok. First of all: rude. Second: Dude. Half your shirts are from high school and half of those are covered in blood. What the fuck.”

His hand sneaks under your pant leg to stroke at your calf. When you shy away—shaving a long-forgotten routine now that the weather has chilled—he firmly pulls you back to continue his exploration.

“Yeah. I don’t own anything nice—you have all these cute as fuck clothes just chilling on your curtain rod collecting dust.”

You heave a sigh.

“Well. You work most nights, Mary. You know I try to be here if you’re going to be around, and what?—I’m gonna dress up in my own home?”

He squeezes your calf muscle.

“Christ, you’re defensive. Let me fucking finish my lead in, woman. I just mean we should get out.”

You creep the foot of your free leg under his t-shirt to press into his boney ribs.

“Ok, but when? Your schedule’s not very conducive to that, you know.”

He looks at you, searching your face, before insinuating himself between your legs and rubbing his hands up your thighs.

“We’re playing at Regency in a few weeks,” he says as he leans down to kiss your belly. He looks up at you. “You could put on one those ‘fuck me’ numbers you got.”

Kiss.

“Come see me play.”

Kiss.

“I could fuck you in the bathroom.”

Kiss.

He takes the hem of your pants between his teeth and begins to tug it down.

“Mary! My ranking!”

“Fuck your ranking,” he says as he yoinks your phone out of your hand and shoves it down the front of his pants. You gasp as he yanks your bottoms the rest of the way free, and then proceeds to run his tongue through your folds. Your hands grip his hair tight as he worms his tongue around and over your clit, sparking your arousal. You let your head fall back, moaning, as he tongues you.

He breaks away suddenly. “So will you think about it?”

You look down at him through hazy vision. “Wha—what?”

“The show. Will you think about coming to it?”

The only thing you’re thinking about right now is his tongue back on you.

“Fuck. C’mon, Mary.”

“The. Gig,” he continues, before giving you one, long lap. “Wanna show you off,” he says, growling into your labia.

Christ he should make up his mind. As if it was your reticence from attending.

“Yeah!” you gasp, encouraging him, as you grind yourself into his waiting mouth. “Wanna be shown off!”

He yanks you down prone, hoisting your legs over his shoulders so he has better access to suck your clit between his plump lips. The sensation is heavenly, and you make pleased noises.

“Gonna show off my hot girlfriend,” he pants as he comes up for air. “Make everyone know you’re mine, rub it in their faces.”

You grab the back of his head and rub his face into your pussy.

“Shut the fuck up and get on with it for chrissake’s!”

He eats you out in earnest then—his tongue and lips adeptly coaxing you toward climax—the sound of the snarling wrestlers and cheering crowd the soundtrack to your orgasm; he licks you steadily as you squirm and thrash through it. Once you're thoroughly spent, he divests you of your top and crawls up your torso while unbuckling his jeans—your phone plopping onto your stomach and sliding down into the cushions.

“Hold your tits together,” he rumbles before thrusting between them a handful of times, head thrown back. Then he leans over you—guiding his cock to your mouth with his hips, before he’s fucking your face into the couch—unashamedly moaning when he hears you gag. He pulls out in time to cum all over your face and neck, hand flying between his legs—too intent with his art to even grunt out his pleasure.

Looking down at you, he bites his lip and says, “Fuck you’re beautiful. Can I take a picture?”

(This was something you’d gotten used to—Mary always wanting to take pictures of the oddest things with his ancient, digital HP camera.)

When you hesitate, he says, “No, you’re right. It’s …” He begins to climb off you, but you put a hand on his thigh.

“You … you can,” you stutter “but … I’ll keep it for you. Just … transfer it to me and delete it immediately.”

He rolls his eyes. “Big help you having it when I’m lonely and want to jerk off,” he says—but he's already off the couch, tucking himself back in, and rummaging through his worn backpack.

The two of you had done a little photoshoot then, trying to get the best angles, the best shine, your sexiest pout—and a few with his fingers in your mouth. When he’s satisfied, he hands you your shirt so you can wipe off—which you promptly rejected in favor of cleaning off in the bathroom sink (“Gross.” “What? I don’t understand.” “I wear this shirt!” “My jizz is literally on you right now!”).

When you come back out, Mary already has his memory card in the USB convertor and is attached to your laptop.

“Don’t I get to help choose?” you ask as you sit down next to him.

“My pictures.”

“My face!” you retort.

“My pictures for my use.”

You lean in to see which he’s chosen.

“Oh, not that one! I look like Jaba the Hutt with that chin!”

Mary squints at it, shrugs, then turns to grin at you.

“I won’t be looking at your chin.”

“Fine,” you grumble flopping back. “But I want my complaint filed on the record.”

“Ok,” he says and kisses the tip of your nose.

You push him away and wipe at your face. “Gross, Mary. Don’t be all mushy and shit.”

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, Suey,” he says into the computer.

When he finishes—4 photos now living in a folder on your desktop entitled “MarysSecretJackoffMaterial”—he lets you drive. You promptly drag all the smutty images of you into your trash and delete them immediately.

He has to leave for work not long after that, and you’ve gotten sucked into the WWE storyline. It isn’t until you’re ready to go to bed that you realize your phone is still in the depths of the couch. Once retrieved, you text him.

Me [12:37am]: Goddamnit, Mary! My RANKING.

Mary [2:28am]: XD

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#mary goore #ofc #feral cats fic #gutter punk #gritty girls #my writing

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paleolithique · 5 years

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@lochnessbian tagged me in this answering questions post

rules: answer 17 questions and tag 17 people

nickname: i don’t really have one that people really call me? sarah is a difficult name to shorten or nicknamify. my dad exclusively calls me by my first&middle name so i’m sarah jane which is cute.

zodiac sign: taurus sun! don’t remember the rest partially bc i don’t know my time of birth (shrug emoji)

height: 5′9″ if i’m not slouching which i am always doing

hogwarts house: i mean im a griffyndor also here’s the obligatory fuck jk rowling etc etc

last thing i googled: “walgreens hours sunday” (open til 10 pm!)

song stuck in my head: earlier it was bdg’s saturday shorts which was delightful

following: a lot? over 1000. a lot of them are probably inactive. i’ve had this blog for a long time

followers: 994 and dropping!

amount of sleep i get: too much! probably 10+ hours a night

lucky numbers: uhhhhhh idk

dream job: meteorologist! it’s what i’m studying for

wearing: keith haring tshirt, really old athletic shorts that i wear as pajama shorts

favorite songs: UHHHHHHHHHHHH that’s a really difficult question to answer. don’t stop me now - queen. season 2 episode 3 - glass animals. lilith in starlight - homestuck volume 10 (this is not a joke in the slightest.). heebiejeebies - amine. lisztomania - phoenix. trouble - cage the elephant.

instruments: like none lmao.... i used to know beginner’s level guitar

random fact: the lifting condensation level is the altitude that a given rising parcel of air becomes saturated and starts condensing into a cloud. it’s the bottom of clouds. i have a quiz tomorrow

aesthetic: a dyke that kind of wishes she lived in the 80s-90s so she could be like a bra burning protester at washington dc or whatever. but also that one picture of a muppet wearing a buttoned shirt patterned w/ chilis and striped pants EXCEPT i would have a denim jacket on top of it. this is a denim appreciation household. i own 4 levi’s 70507-style trucker jackets

i will tag as many ppl as i please which is..... none.............. tagging people makes me uncomfortable

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p.s. thanks 4 tagging me! this was a lovely distraction from my imminently due homework

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julietsashes-blog · 5 years

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My first day in Cambodia

Charch and Heidi and Miss Jettie were at my bedroom door at 5.30 so we could get to Heidi’s mum’s sister’s café by 6 which was a long shot as Charley has booked us about an hour non rush hour and two rush hour out of the city. The apartment is all concrete in a concrete building. The tiles are faux concrete if there is such a thing with a sort of marbling effect spray finish and thin uneven grouting to pretend they are tiles which they obviously aren’t The shower floods. A service man comes accompanied by two henchwomen and he lifts the little stainless steel drainage hole and produces a clump of offending black hair and they march off triumphantly and that night the water oozes out the shower door and into the bedroom again and I block it with a sheet and towels and then Charley and Heidi’s shower floods and we are all out of sheets and towels and have discovered the apartment is not serviced and we are alone. Charley says we are situated in an up and coming area which is true as there is round the clock construction going on which in Cambodia is 100 thin men and one massive droning machine working through the night. I say to Heidi hopefully,

“It’s Sunday so perhaps there will be no construction tonight?” She replies, “There’s no such thing as Sunday here.” The little yellow machine made concrete shrines which look like elaborate temples are everywhere here but they pay homage to ancestors or Buddha not to someone who rests on Sunday. Except for the shrines made in China, the only sign of religion I’ve seen are two crisp white shirted, suit panted Mormons walking through the dust, on streets which are lined with shops meaning they sell and do stuff from the front of their homes.

I ask Heidi,” Do the phone shops repair phones or sell cases?”

She says, “they do anything to do with phones.” We pass scooter tyre shops,

anything to do with phone shops, pizza shops, scooter tyre shops, anything to do with phone shops, hair salons, scooter tyre shops, anything to do with phone shops, pharmacies, anything to do with phone shops, mattress shops,, scooter tyre shops, car tyre shops, anything to do with phone shops, chandelier shops, scooter tyre shops, anything to do with phone shops, bike tyre shops, empty fields of dusty grasses with ownership demarked by an odd bit of concrete wall, anything to do with phone shops, car tyre shops.

Industrial enterprise takes place in front of homes too and interspersed with the shops we see cars and bikes been repaired, men welding whilst crouching in the Asian fashion their heads covered completely in scarves and sunglasses over their eyes, intricate wooden furniture being carved and a huge skinned cow with a hole where his tail once was being butchered. In front of all this and wherever they can fit there are little mobile carts selling chicken legs, scrawny whole pale chickens, fried bananas, melon tea and coke. Overhead thousands and thousands of tangled power lines are propped up by exhausted posts and trees.

Children run out of doorways skipping over a piece of frayed rope, and there is the odd calm that hovers over the small dark broom shops where old women sit on plastic chairs staring into their thoughts.

The roads themselves are a mad ballet on wheels as friends, families, work mates pile together to get to wherever they have to go. They clasp each other and hang on tight: 10 people in a small tuk tuk, 5 on a scooter with the littlest nose squashed against the back of the one in front, girlfriends, ride side saddle behind their boyfriends, daintily dressed in poplin party dresses with their mandatory long hair flowing out the back. Trucks are piled high with steel and concrete bags and thin men with thin legs sit in positions yoga masters haven’t invented

And the the dust never settles in this world that dances to the beat of Asia where a life is but a speck of salt in the ocean of the universe. It is the haphazard nature of Phnom Penh that makes for its beauty like wild flowers that defy dust in their primal urge to flourish.

After an hour and a half of travelling in a tuk tuk through this action movie which quite mesmerises Jettie we arrive at Heidi’s Auntie’s place. Her name is Omvut Sovann and her house lies behind an antique gold fence of fleur de lis. The old grandmother, Mai, is waiting behind the gate not just for us we learn but for something far greater that is starting to call to her. She is wearing loose black pants a white lace shirt and a red and white chequered scarf around her head. She still has her clothes made by a tailor. We sit on plastic chairs in front of an old microwave in a tiled courtyard and Omvut comes out. She has the same soft lips and square teeth as Heidi’s mother Sovann, but her teeth are yellowing with some missing like the tips of her fingers which Heidi says was to do with the Khmer rouge. The Khmer Rouge also stole her house killed her husband and killed her Dad, Mai’s husband. They put him on a high platform where he could choose to jump and die or stay and starve to death under the burning sun.. His crime was being a teacher. Omvut is wearing old pyjama pants and she makes us breakfast in the kitchen, a corner of the courtyard where several pots some boiling and some full of dishwater all sit at or below Jett’s height. This courtyard area is Omvut’s café where she serves breakfast from 4.30am. In the room behind the courtyard is the entrance and only living room of the house. It is also a hair salon. The salon consists of 2 hard intricately carved wooden chairs and an intricately carved equally uncomfortable couch lined up against the wall for the non-existent clientele of the hair salon to wait to have their hair done. The chairs stare at a hammock that lies over an intricately carved wooden bed in the darkened cooler part of the room. Two mirrors are on the wall and behind them a precarious bed lies tilting towards a basin. There is a cabinet in the middle of the room with packets of shampoo and hair dye. Sovann from Tawa taught Dait (adopted daughter of Omvut) from PP to do hair after the Khmer Roger had stolen Omvut’s house. Behind this room is a room that might have been the kitchen but the sink is used to store meat and the bench has an iron on it and there is a washing machine. There is one other room with a mattress on it and Sovann, Omvut, Daniella and Mai sleep on this one mattress although there are three unused rooms upstairs. The bathroom off the bedroom has a shower hose but no walls so the floor Is always under water and you walk though the water to get to the toilet. There is a black dog tied up with a few grains of rice in a bowl and he has the obligatory mange but Omvut says he is only tied up because Jetty is visiting and he usually runs free. I give him water which Mai throws out.

Heidi’s sister Daniella emerges armed with a tennis racquet to swat mosquitoes. She is here to help open a gym for Sovann’s personal trainer Lorenzo. In the meantime, she will go with Sovann to a dentist in Thailand to get a wisdom tooth out.

Sovann arrives on the back of a bike from a gym 10 metres down the road which she pays .15 cents a visit for. She sits with Charley and Daniella.

Charley is quizzing Daniela about the possibility of romance with Lorenzo the gym owner. “How was Lorenzo did you wear a nice dress or was it casual? Did sparks fly? “Charley asks Daniella.

Sovann tells Charley, “Shut up”

It’s just banter smiles Charley

No its teasing she rebukes him and Daniella swats a mosquito.

In this madness is the adopted daughter called Diet whom Sovann rather fancied but Steve didn’t seem too keen on so Sovann only had her for a day before she passed her on to Omvut. This Diet is the diamond in the button box. As she is the youngest (23) she must do whatever the older family members tell her.

Charley sends her off to buy vape. Because of customs like this Charley has decided he is going to live in Cambodia and he asks Sovann about a visa. Sovann tells him it’s easy you just bribe the visa officers. She rebukes Heidi for not having done this at the airport.

Heidi says this encourages corruption. Sovann says you can’t change this country, learn and accept its not helpful to fight learn to be humble. Sovann says that the bribe was given after the visa has been issued which makes it a tip and it was done in front of all the others officers which makes it ok.

We sit on plastic chairs around a stainless steel table and Omvut serves us rice and every meat available which she keeps topping up with meat which she carries to the table in her hands and dumps especially on Charley’s plate. We eat this with the rich treacle coffee brewed and poured over ice and sweetened condensed milk.

Sovann says Cambodians only used to eat rice and fish but are getting fat now because the meat is fried they have milk and soft drinks and chips. She says they may look skinny but they have big tummies. The rich here are fatter than the poor but the luxury of refusing food for health and beauty seems not far off.

Sovann is as haphazard as her country. She seems discontent and complains all the time but then laughs her head off, slaps her thigh and hugs you. She says she only likes one week in Phnom Penh as it is her town but Tawa is her home. Heidi says her mum has always been discontented and Steve her husband, who died on Mount Cook one hour into his climb,

would take her for dinner but it was never good enough.

I don’t want to be like that, I try to suppress that Heidi says and maybe that’s why she married Charley who if he goes to a restaurant it is the best he has ever been to and the condensed milk coffee is the best coffee he has ever tasted.

We eat our rice and meat and drink our coffee, gas is delivered in an old diving tank and

someone wanders in for breakfast but gets told sharply the café is closed family are here.

#cambodia travelcambodia guidetocambodia ashes travel travelblog mytravelguide khmer phnomphen tuktuk myguide

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kmp78 · 6 years

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I came, I saw, I (little bit) konquered 💪

First of all: apologies for this mega massive post! 😂

But I wanted to fit everything in one, so that´s the way it has to be!

Big thanks to lovely Stockholm for being a very gracious host and taking such good care of this world-weary traveler! Let´s start off with some general sights before getting down to the nasty business of Mars!

I have to say that seeing those posters for the 1st time in the flesh made me quite giddy indeed...

BUT NOW! On to the main event...

The M&G took place a few hours before the show, and arrangements were top grade, gotta give props when props are due!

These two ladies were really lovely and seemed like PROS at what they do and yet POLITE towards us even tho this was probably the 3000th M&G they were handling. I have no complaints!

We were escorted to a small meeting room type of area right next door to the stage area, and at first I figured I wasn´t even gonna bother fighting the hoards for the 1st row seats, but then I heard Reni saying there was one spot left - and I leaped into action.

At the M&G room Reni explained the rules and game plan for the evening. No personal/private questions, no simple yes/no questions, no groping during the pics, no running to the concert area (there were near-catastrophic incidents in Prague some days ago, some girls ran like cray and tripped and fell and created a domino effect and it was a mess...) and so on. 🙄

Reni asked us who has listened to the album (most raised their hands) and who has not listened to the album (me and few others raised ours... Hihi...), and what people´s fave songs were.

Then we got back to talking about the potential questions again, and she encouraged people to ask about the new album (*COUGH* REMEMBER THIS LATER AS YOU READ ON *COUGH*), or if you want advice etc.

Not that I cared much anyway, but seeing as she did not seem to touch upon “that topic” at all, I decided to try my luck and asked:

“What about the “elephant in the room”?” 🐘

The room fell silent and there were some dramatic “Oooooooh´s” coming from my fellow VIP peeps.

Reni´s face went serious and she quietly said “No”, as was fully expected.

I pressed on.

“How come?”

Reni: “Because we would rather... It´s a personal matter. Of the band.”

Me: “So we´re never gonna get any explanation?”

Reni: “It´s a personal matter... And until he doesn´t decide... It´s not in our...”

And that was it! That´s the explanation I managed to squeeze out! Sorry, guys! I tried, but... 😞

I´m totally not the only one who reads that to mean that IT WAS TOMO´S OWN DECISION TO WALK AND IT´LL BE HIS DECISION IF/WHEN HE COMES BACK, right?! And that the band has no say in it, and they have no clue if and when the situation gets resolved?! Right?!

UGH! 😠

Then Reni went on to explain that if someone was there specifically to meet TM, they could get a refund but they would have to leave immediately.

Total bs “offer” because there ain´t NO ONE coming to these things just to meet TM, but whatever... I did contemplate if I should ask for a partial refund because I only got partial Mars, but chose to let it slide. Not even worth it.

One guy in the audience commented “Good question”, so I guess I wasn´t alone with my queries! It may have been Gustavo, I dunno.

Before the band came in, people kept busy by asking the crew a few questions.

And at this point I would like to offer a MEA CULPA and sincere apologies to the person/persons who I battled with some weeks ago when Reni´s home land was a topic. See, as luck would have it, one of the VIPs asked the staff where they were from, and Reni said “I´M ORIGINALLY FROM MEXICO”, so yeah... Haha! I giggled quite a lot... Sorry, anon/anons! I was indeed wrong! Shayla said she´s from NYC, Inaki also from Mexico and Diana (I think that was her name...?) from Brazil.

Shayla mentioned that she is kinda jetlagged. Reni said she´s usually pretty good with it.

Then they plugged Camp Mars (a few people had no idea what Camp Mars even is...) and lured us to buy with big promises of hangings with the band during the most magical weekend of the year.

“The band is also there all day.”

Reni also inquired if people would be interested in attending Camp if they by some miracle happened to arrange it in Europe. Most people were eager, no surprises there.

Someone asked if Camp could be arranged earlier in the summer, and Reni said no because the Malibu Camp site is occupado until August.

Another one asked if Camp is getting bigger, to which Reni replied that “It´s getting better. I would not say it´s getting bigger because the number of people for the past 2 times has been exactly the same, which is 200.”

So there we have it. An official number.

Well, as official as these people are ever gonna admit, anyway... 🤷

Then we voted for our fave songs from the new album. “GWO” won.

(I voted Tabasco. 🤗)

Someone wanted to know if they were gonna play “GWO”, and Shayla said nope because they have not rehearsed it.

Of course not! 🤷

Then we swiftly moved on to the “Kumbaya” moment of the evening where Reni asked if someone knows how to sing, and some dude said yeah, so he came up front and started singing WoW.

Now this is just my opinion, but sitting there listening to an almost Sunday church-like hysterical pathos... Worshipers partying and yelling out the lyrics as if God himself was within hearing distance...

I did not know I needed that in my life. 😱

Then Reni we needed to “make some noise so they´ll come faster”.

Is... is that what VK does too? 🤔

I dunno, but we did.

It did not help. 😴

To kill even more time, we did the obligatory “Where is everyone from?” round. I stayed silent. Surprisingly it seemed like almost half of the peeps were non-Swedes! The woman next to me was also from Finland. Wooooop!

Someone asked if the band is gonna do festivals, and Reni listed some upcoming dates. I don´t know why people don´t GO ONLINE to find out this stuff, but... 🤷

The crew also mentioned they have days off on occasion, Helsinki was mentioned as one of their days off, which kinda maybe means that the band will be arriving tomorrow and hanging for a whole day before the gig on Wednesday... Uuuuuuh!

Then all of a sudden...

DOORS FLUNG OPEN AND ANGELS SANG PRAISES! 🎺

Well no, it was just echies screaming and clapping. 🙏

JL and SL sneaked in from the stage area and the masses of course went bananas.

I still sat in silence and watched. 👀

The bros had a table and chairs, but never sat down. Instead they stood and placed one foot ON THE CHAIR, as all civilized peeps do.

JL asked if anyone was at the previous gig, and mentioned that it has been a really small show, but this one would be the smallest (arena holds max 3500 people). Last night apparently was “INCREDIBLE”, one of the better shows on the tour.

For some reason (pffft...) he spotted some German chicks who I guess were twins or smthg, I wasn´t really paying attention. Anyway, he mentioned “We always need more twins in our lives”.

Echies naturally giggled because OMGGGGGGGG HILAAAARIOUS, and JL went on to explain that “Hey our grandfather had a twin”.

SL quipped that maybe he or JL will have twins, and JL mentioned that he and JR argued about the twin gene skipping a generation or smthg like that. 🙄🙄

Then he spotted some chick in the front row who had big muscles (no she did not btw) and asked her if she´s a trainer or smthg. JL mentioned that he just recently started working out again so he keeps looking at muscles.

Uh huh. 🙄🙄🙄

On/off SL gave looks around the room, and I got some too. He did not smile, not even a crack. Meh.

THEN IT WAS FINALLY Q AND A TIME!!! 🙏 😈

Some dude asked how hard it is to get a workout on the road.

SL said the recovery is the most challenging part. I guess he meant recovery from the shows.

JL says the 2 hours on stage are the hardest, and then the rest of the time should be spent by doing nothing.

That last part might be more familiar to some in the band than others... 🤔

Some woman from Ohio, USA was picked and I guess she yammered on about herself a bit too long because JL interrupted her speech with a very stern “QUESTION!” (we all know that tone... Hihi!), and she asked if there were any “Aha!” moments when making the album.

I suppose she did not mean “Aha! We totes should wrap this whole shit in Americana even tho it has fuck all to do with it!”...

SL said the 1st thing that comes to mind is “Rescue Me”. Apparently they´ve had that song for 10 years and have had people help them work on it (WHOOOO?!), and the last person they worked on it with caused them to have an “Aha!” moment when they realized they were actually going to finish it.

I´m sure we all share that amazement...

JL said he remembered sitting down during TIW in his home in Fredonia (his old home) with a synthesizer and the verse and the chorus are still the same. Lyrics have changed. The chorus used to just be “Rescue me, rescue me” without anything else, and 5 years later he was sitting on a plane and the current chorus started forming in his head. The song used to have a “pre-chorus” too. “He said” or “She said” (I could not make out which, or maybe both) before the main chorus.

He said the lesson in that is to never give up because you never know what can happen. Sometimes songs happen quickly, like “A Modern Myth” which he said he wrote in 5 minutes, and SL wrote “Remedy” fairly quickly. Finishing songs usually takes him longer than coming up with a song.

Next guy asked about creative differences between Album 1 and Album 5.

JL said you can still hear the same band on both albums.

(GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BAND MEMBERS, MAYBE... 🙄)

He listed all the elements the new album features. He said he thinks a song like “Echelon” could totally be on the new album.

Next up a woman who said she was studying to be in the music business asked what she could do to make sure no other artist has to deal with what Mars had to deal with (lawsuit etc.).

JL´s advise: Don´t sign a record deal unless you absolutely have to. Spread your music via social media and other platforms.

(I know he was talking about EMI specifically, but I could not help thinking there might have been some Interscope crumbs in there too...)

The woman clarified that she meant more from the music label/business side and not the artist side. Jl responded “Go work for Spotify”. He went on to say that record companies and people can be great too, but the deals are the problem. They should be transparent and available online. It´s the last kind of “gangsta business” where you can really take advantage of people.

Some dude mentioned that he saw Mars 11 years ago when they opened for Linkin Park in Europe. JL remembered that tour, SL did not.

I guess he asked what it feels like to go from there to here (I wasn´t really listening because meeeeeh), and SL tried to come up with smthg intellectual and deep but it just sounded so ridiculously pathetic it´s not even worth mentioning. Smthg about just living and maturing and evolving as human beings. 💤

He also said they are really fortunate to still be together as a band (*SNORT*) because lots of bands from back then don´t exist anymore.

JL said this feels like a new and fresh chapter. Like his inner child. Like a reboot. Like they just got a facelift (HOLD YOUR LAUGHS, PLEASE). The new songs live are apparently “pretty INCREDIBLE”.

“I know some people are like “Where´s the guitar?” and “Where the heavy music?” but I think it´s still pure 30 StM.”

He also called the new album very dark and “lyrically on point”.

His point might be somewhere waaaaaay off the playing field tho, but...

Some chick with pink hair was up next and JL said he was gonna dye his hair pink but now he can´t.

SL said dyeing wrecks your hair and JL said his hair can´t take another bleaching.

And yes, you guessed it, folks. Fangirl giggles and swoons galore!

Her actual question was about Mars music feeling ancient or smthg, again I was totally not even paying attention because I DON´T CAAAAARE. Sorry but these questions were fucking USELESS. 👎

Anyway, SL blabbered on about them being from an “old place”. JL said everyone has missed the point that they made the album by using modern American sounds like Hip Hop and Pop etc. and that WoW is a giant political FUCK YOU.

Except not too long ago he gave that interview to a Finnish journo and specifically banned political questions, but okay... 👌

He said it´s exciting to see people from different countries singing that song with so much passion that sometimes he almost feels like they need to escape through the back door (he was kidding).

Next that same guy who sang during the pre-M&G stood up and congratulated the band on the new album. JL in return congratulated the guy on his hair (= a poofed up semi-mullet kinda thing) and they chatted a bit about his hair. Soooo riveting... 😫

The dude said one of his fave songs is “Convergence” and he asked about spirituality or smthg. Again, not interested...

JL said the last album was only 7 songs and the rest were fillers (well he didn´t say fillers but I´m saying it), and this new one is 11 songs and only 1 filler.

While JL was still yammering on his response to the mullet dude, I made my move and raised my hand HIIIIIGH - and when he finally finished his looooong sermon JL turned my way and...

Oh uh! It's Go time! 😱

⚠️ Little background info first! ⚠️

I obviously had thought of a few questions before coming to the M&G, just to prepare for the off-chance an opportunity might present itself. My options ranged from "Why did you call us Screaming Fat Girls?" to "Why did I have to pay 400 for this when 20 yo models get it for free?" and beyond. Yes I even toyed with the idea of sneakily slipping VK into the mix... 🙃

But sitting there as the M&G went on and listening to the other questions and studying the room's vibe, I started feeling my questions were all... wrong. They started feeling like I would just be purposely asking for trouble and causing a stink and potentially ruining the event, which was not my intention at all.

I started feeling like I needed to ask smthg current, smthg that has relevance in this day and age, smthg that hopefully gave us some answers to the questions we have been pondering about on the blog, smthg that would make you peeps proud, smthg that would not be a waste of a question - and yes, smthg that maybe poked a little hole into his massive ego at the same time! 🤔

So with all that criteria in mind, I went into battle...

Me: "Hi, speaking of the album, have you read or heard the reviews? Because some of them were... not very kind...?

JL: "This newest album?"

(NO DUMMY I WANNA KNOW IF YOU READ THE REVIEWS FOR THE ALBUM YOU RELEASED IN 2002!!! 🙄🤦‍♀️)

Me: "Yeah."

JL, staring right at me, with the snarkiest and bitchiest voice and most passivest aggressivest demeanor:

"Well thanks for bringing that up."

😱😱😱

His reaction both in words and in vibe (and the reaction from the room aka loud gasps, few hisses and cheers after he "lashed out" at me) was worth all the money I paid for that M&G, I don't even mind telling you!

SL also chimed in with “Yeah, thanks for bringing that up” but at that moment I was so focused on JL´s face that I completely ignored SL´s whining and existence - not to mention that every single molecule inside me screamed “HALLELUJAAAAAAAAH!”

So yeah basically I just sat there going...

While he stared at me throughout that little exchange, he most def could sense the snark in my question, and I most def could sense the snark in his reply. Naaaw... Just a couple of petty snarks sharing a moment... 🤣🙊😍

#BucketList ✔

I guess that is what an orgasm of the mind feels like. ☺

And btw...

"Thanks for bringing that up"?

Honey, with the amount of shit we have on you, you should be very #Grateful I only brought THAT up! 🤨

Anyway, the room kinda “erupted” with little gasps and hollers and whatnot, and after that initial "explosion" SL took over and started "grilling me" about my choice of question.

"That's your question? You wanna know if we read and what´s our response to the bad reviews?"

I replied “Yeah, I wanna know”.

SL said he had not read any.

Okay, but... Why did you just jump on my throat about that topic then...?

He continued that everyone has opinions and tastes and attitudes and personalities and colors (???) and stuff... He said he can´t pay attention to it, he can only focus on what he did and the band did, and he feels great about it. He said he is secure in himself and his “bro”, as he called JL.

Then JL took over and in a very explanatory manner (calm voice this time) said that these days everyone is a critic. He said on social media any person´s opinion is as important as a reviewer´s. He also said he thinks a lot of the criticism revolves around the “Where is the rock?” argument, and that they are probably right.

“It´s not a rock album.”

Followed by a LOOOOONG silence.

A silence which was only interrupted by SL going “Well, there you go!” in a triumphant manner. Echies of course applauded, and then suddenly JL picked up again:

“Don´t be fooled, we knew EXACTLY what we were doing. But let me just tell you something: we have NEVER gotten good reviews. Even when we made rock albums. So... Nothing really changes...”

At this point it again felt like he was getting ready to move on, but NO! He still kept going!

“I have a feeling lot of it has to do with me...”

That Gustavo dude piped up with “Jealousy...”, but JL ignored that comment and continued:

“It just has to do with me being in the band... I don´t think people wanna let that slide...”

SL commented “Fucking weird...” and then after a short silence went “Great” in the most “NON GREAT” way imaginable. Kinda like when you spill juice all over yourself and go “Great”.

So with that “NON GREAT” “GREAT”, this topic was now finished and my time in the spotlight was over.

I will point out that while pretty much everyone who asked a question before me got a “Thanks for the question” comment, I did not...

😭😭😭

BEFORE WE MOVE ON - QUICK ANALYSIS ON MY Q AND HIS A:

I think what we learned here are 3 things:

1. Poor SL really thinks he contributed to this album and has reason to be proud. 🤷‍♀️

2. JL is indeed VERY aware of the bad reviews and backlash his latest offering brought him. 😭

3. JL is also aware of the "bad rep" he has. Not just for the "Oh he's an actor trying to be a singer" thing which he has battled since Day 1 (which I'm sure he was mostly alluding to), but also that currently (= after SS) he gets ridiculed and judged on a whole new level.

I mean, the way he almost dragged the topic on and felt like he had to add “just one more thing”... Kinda felt like he was trying to convince not just us but himself as well... 🤨

Anyway, feel free to send feedback and thoughts on this! Did I do good?! 😜

Okay back to the M&G!

The next person asked what would they say to their younger selves.

JL wouldn’t wanna say anything because “We’re in a pretty good place right now in life and career… I guess I’d say "Take a deep breath… It’s gonna be alright. Don’t pay attention to the reviews.”“

Ooooooh... Still feeling butt-hurt from the previous Q, are we… ? 😏🤭

The next Q was asked with such a heavy-accented English I had NO IDEA what he asked, but apparently JL did because he managed an answer. It was smthg about the Mars symbols (the triad). 🤷🏼‍♀️

The next chick started off my saying "I just wanna say I love you and adore you” and I almost yelped out “MR. KAUFMAN IS ALREADY TAKEN!” but managed to keep my emotions in check.

Her question was a pretty good one: “Why did you come up with the name "Monolith” for the tour", she said she (like all of us!) did not get it.

JL said the name comes from the giant screen on stage and the giant box thing as well, which of course for this tour they could not fit through the doors.

Next question was “Why did you call the album "America” when it talks about universal issues?“

JL: "I think the idea of America is universal (FUCK OFF ALREADY DICK IT SO IS NOT) and everyone has an opinion (WANNA KNOW MINE?) and the songs are universal. I think what’s going on in our country is probably going on in other countries. I don’t think we’re the only country thinking about things like immigration, the right and the left, what kind of a world we want to live in, what kind of a future we want. I just thought it was an interesting time and an interesting word. It really isn’t political title, it’s more of a concept (🙄🙄🙄), that’s why I liked all the lists that we came up with because they were so bizarre and funny and provocative. They do give you a sense of the time we’re living in.”

He went on to say that in 100 years people will be able to look at them and go “Oh, that was that crazy group if people that was alive between this time and that time and that fucking guy was president in America!”

Oh my! Look who’s getting all feisty again! Dare you to say that publicly tho!

During this question the noise from the soundcheck taking place in the next room went up a few notches and Stevie´s high-pitched screams almost overpowered the Letos... They made some jokes about SA´s screams. 😂

And of course he kept with the “The name “America” inspired the film that we made that´s coming out later this year, the trip across the country... Did anybody follow it on social media? (I MAY HAVE...) The Museum of America in LA and many other things that we´ve done. I dunno, I just thought it was an interesting container.”

In relation to the previous question, JL also mentioned that he had an alternative title for "America" which he admitted (?) he sometimes thinks he should have used:

“ERA”.

As in this era we are now living in.

YOU GOD DAMN DILL!!!!! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN 40 GAZILLION TIMES BETTER THAN "AMERICA"!!!!!

🤬🤬🤬

I seriously almost screamed out loud when he said that... I can't even deal with him! 😠

He said that title would have been “a little more global but a little more boring”.

NO, DILL! YOU AND YOUR BEDWARMERS ARE GLOBAL AND BORING! THAT TITLE WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT!

😠

The last question came from a woman next to me (fellow Finn btw! 😃🇫🇮) who told us that she's a teacher and she asked what inspires them etc.

JL said that “sometimes I´m not inspired” (REALLY? Never would have guessed...) and that “at that point you just have to rely on muscle memory and to just put one foot in front of the other and keep marching forward... Someone asks a question you don´t like (WHO?! WHO ASKED A QUESTION YOU DID NOT LIKE?! 🙊), you deal with it... You have to do some part of your job that´s tedious (like... the actual working part?), you push past it... I think a lot of times it´s just showing up... You can surprise yourself. You start a conversation, you start a concert, and before you know it you´re lost in the concert and you´re enjoying your time.”

SL said what helps is “getting rid of the fucking trash in the head. If I feel distracted or there´s a lot of stuff going on in my head that doesn´t have anything to do with what I wanna do, I have to get rid of it. Meditation helps, hanging out with cool people (LOOOOOOOOL), yoga, taking a walk...”

And that was it! Show over! JL thanked us for coming and then...

Picture time! 📷

We lined up in the hallway and practically RAN through the stage they had set up for the pic.

Seriously it was RIDICULOUS! Felt even faster and more North Korean than in Getafe! We all legit had no more than 2 seconds to pose and then we were pushed out! 😑

Total bs. No other way to put it. Treated like actual cattle. 🐄

Anyway, I had a plan ready again and as I stepped up to SL who kinda "yanked me" between him and JL (not in a bad way but just kinda like "let's just get this over with FAST"), I said to them:

"Okay guys, let's smile like I'm a model."

🤭🤭🤭

Now, I don't know if they heard me or bothered listening (or in "someone's" case even understood what I was hinting at), but it def made me feel giggly... 😜

Anyway, end result is this:

I think JL may have gotten what I was implying, or perhaps he was still salty about my earlier question, but he def pushed my back to get me to leave the area after the pic. 🤷🏼‍♀️👉🚪

Altho he probs does that to everyone, especially those who are not 20-smthg Russian models, but… Oh well. Kinda made me smirk even more! 🤣

Or perhaps it was my shirt which ruffled his feathers? 🤔

Wanna see a close-up?

BOOM.

Tell you this much: online T-shirt printing businesses and 20€ sure provide a lot of satisfaction. 😏👕💳

And even tho I once again got only 20 Secs (Jfc… 😂), I still managed to sneak TM into my pic, sooo… 😎💁🏼‍♀️

More closeups:

Thanks GOD he looks more than decent in mine!

And c´mon now, Jarry. I think we all know you can go bigger than that.

Jaw seems to work a-ok...

And yes, I watermarked them because that´s how I roll, homies!

After the pics we were given our VIP merch: black beanie (not bad! I might actually wear that…), plastic badge (who the fuck needs these?!), a canvas tote bag (meh ok) and a signed poster.

TRY TELLING ME BOTH THOSE SIGNATURES ARE NOT FROM THE SAME DAMN ALMOST-WORN-OUT PEN… 😂😒🖋

We were also allowed to stay in the M&G room and check out the official merch stand (pffffft! Did not buy a fucking thing as everything looked so uggo).

This tho...

After about an hour of waiting, we were finally led into the actual concert area. As some of you saw from my IG posts, this was not a regular MonolOth tour gig, but more a club gig. The set was completely different, no monolOth anywhere, and stage was not in the middle of the room.

I noticed there was a balcony area too and I marched up to a security guy to ask if it was ok to go up. He said yeah but only 100 people are allowed up so I needed a special ticket, which he then handed me and told me I needed to give it back if/when I came down again so someone else could use my place up there. Very smart security move!

Being as tiny as I am and as claustrophobic as I am, I knew standing in a sea of people and not even seeing a fucking thing was not a viable option, so I chose to wander up to the balcony - and oh man, that was the best decision I could have made! I scored a prime spot right up front and had full “skyview” of the whole room! Lucky move also because without the balcony spot, that IG Live would have been quite difficult to pull off…😏😄

JR’s DJ set was about as useful as sledgehammer when washing windows, so there’s no need to even discuss it. Literally maybe 7 people actually listened and cheered him. 😴

At around 8:40 pm the lights FINALLY dimmed and the show started.

Now, seeing as I did an IG Live for the whole show which means I did not take any pics or clips (I´ll try posting some of the clips I saved from the IG Live a little later on tho), I’m going to utilize a few fellow concert goers offerings here for vibe and atmosphere reasons! 😉

And of course we can NEVER forget the true star of the night...

A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 24, 2018 at 1:18am PDT

A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 22, 2018 at 1:11pm PDT

NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES. OR SHIRTS. 🤣 🕺

As far as overall grade for the show goes…

Well, the people who came on my Live on/off and witnessed the gig with me can probably kinda agree that… eh… It wasn’t very awesomely great. 😣

The stage looked stupid with just SL’s drums, SA was once again shoved to the side where we could barely see him (but could hear him plenty!), the sound overall was kinda off (or maybe it was because of my location, but the drums sounded REALLY loud at times, almost drowned out rest of the instruments. Altho… what instruments? 🤔)…

But the biggest problem of all: Jared’s voice.

It’s fucking DESTROYED, guys. GONE.

Yes on some songs he sounded ok, even quite good on occasion. But overall, he cannot do a full show like a proper rock singer should.

And true to form, he skipped out on a lot of the lyrics (either he let SA sing, or the audience had to sing), and when he did sing (“sing”) he sounded BAD. Multiple times extremely off key and basically just shouted/screamed his way through the songs. There is no way on earth that anyone with ears could claim he sounded good!

Sheep would try no doubt, but lemme tell ya: Lies! Lies, lies, lies!

I think the only song which sounded at least half decent was “Stay”. It’s not a very challenging song anyway, so that one he still manages ok. Everything else… uh. 🙉

youtube

But it is what it is, I guess... Can´t turn back the clock and undo years of damage!

And that yelling is not helping what little he has left...

youtube

I did enjoy JL calling me and my fellow upstairs residents “BALCONY MONKEY MOTHERFUCKERS” tho. 🐒

Been called worse before! HA! 😂

Overall I would say that had I not had the IG Live peeps keeping me company throughout the show, I would have been majorly bored. There really was nothing even remotely interesting happening on stage (not counting Naked Dancing Dude!), and traveling across an actual ocean just for that show...

Not really worth it, gotta say.

If someone asks me if I would recommend buying a ticket, I would have to say no - based on the actual show, I mean. it just really does not offer any great “WOW” moments.

But on a personal level and by taking into account the WHOLE experience, counting the entire weekend etc., I will rank this as one of my better vacays for sure! And a big part of that is thanks to ALL YOU who joined and shared it with me, so THANK YOU! 💗

Report over and out!

#30 Seconds To Mars #sweden #yeehaw #jared leto #shannon leto #duo #i like bringing things up #you should know that by now

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kyunsies · 3 years

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Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!!

#asks #💥 anon #my dorm is the oldest one on campus so :’) it looks a little ugly but I try my best MXJDJD #ignore the popcorn bag on the side :)#also peep the jo malone perfume LOL

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thechampagnecircus · 3 years

Text

Fire is a Force

Earth, Air, Fire, Water; all natural elements that are beautiful and essential in their own rights. But when out of control can wreak havoc on our world. I am aware that wildfires have a place in the natural cycle, and promote the growth of new forests, but if run amok can destroy all in it’s path. I feel as though people don’t consider them a normal natural disaster, but they are. Although they can -and are- sometimes started by careless humans, it’s just like a hurricane or tidal wave and we are at it’s mercy. On this note, it is obvious that our trip to the lake this year was a bit different than the norm. With the heat wave and drought the summer brought, there was no denying the plethora of wildfires scattered throughout most of British Columbia. The entire province was a tinderbox and the inevitability of wildfires quickly came to fruition.

I did not grow up with wildfires as a threat, or annual fixture like those on the West Coast. There were the obligatory Smokey the Bear signs plastered in every small Maine town. With a fire risk meter -usually on low- and the famous line “Only YOU can prevent forest fires” shaking it’s finger at you. I learned from a young age to practice safe camping and summer behavior but I never experienced the fear of an actual fire that was spiralling out of control. Having said that, we were not short of other bullying weather entities. We had the rogue hurricane. Bob, Irene and Sandy all made appearances throughout the years. Hurricane Matthew crashed my cousin Sara’s wedding a few years ago. The uninvited guest who made quite the splash. I also witnessed a small tornado once in the car with my Mum when I was young. There were infinite thunderstorms married with hail and torrential downpours. Power outages caused by massive blizzards, and even the famous ice storm of ‘99 which any Mainer will undoubtedly remember. I mean, shit, Stephen King wrote a made-for-TV movie about it. But no fires.

I always heard crazy stories in California and Western North America, especially within the last ten years. I am sure there are implications of global warming and climate change that could be made, but I won’t fall down that rabbit hole. It is one thing to hear of devastating fires; as if they are some distant reality. But another to be in their path. Two years ago my first taste of this reality came to life. A wall of heavy smoke rolled into Calgary. It was a Friday and everything turned gray. But not just gray, it was purplish yellow, thick and blocked the sun with an infamous red glare. When I stepped outside, I could feel the weight of the air and the faintest smell of char. However, it passed in time for work on Monday and it was back to business as usual.

That same year, we had our first trip to the lake booked with friends. We were so excited to show them the waterfront we rave about every summer. As the plane landed in Kelowna we quickly realized that our dreams of a weekend filled with boating in the sunshine were not coming to pass. The air quality was at an all time high. We arrived in the afternoon but it looked like nighttime as the entire valley was shrouded in smoke. We stuck it out for our four days, staying inside most of the time, playing games and drinking way too much booze to drown our dashed expectations.

Fast forward to this year. As I mentioned before, this summer has been filled with record breaking heat and rainfall decided to take a hiatus. It was the perfect storm of dry conditions and intense temperatures that set the stage for a flash mob of fires to appear. As we were driving to the lake ten days ago, we drove through varying degrees of smoke levels. There were road closures, alerts and so many fires it was hard to keep track. The Sunday before we left, one fire by White Rock Lake had begun, and that was the one we were most worried about due to its location. It was still small and about 35 km away so we trudged on. We knew we wanted to make the most of our trip regardless. We arrived and within one day the air quality was at a 10++. The air hardly felt like air anymore, thick with particulates and the deep smell of cinder. The whole family was tentative and staying inside for the most part. But after a couple days, we began to spend time outside anyways. You know, YOLO. It was our vacation and hell, high water, or smoke wasn’t going to ruin our holiday. We were weary, and aware but still were able to boat, swim, drink pina coladas on the deck and seize the day. It’s funny how quickly you can become accustomed to something and your threshold for certain things begins to ascend. After about a week, the smoke had begun to wane and hope felt a bit restored, despite the fire to the North that was not letting up. We kept our heads up but were watching it like a flock of hawks.

My uncertainty was building with everyday and every update. I have never been good at waiting for the other shoe to drop. My anxiety and perhaps need for control cannot handle it. I like to know. Once I can make a decision and attack it, I feel comfortable. But limbo is not a place I like to be. Everyone else seemed to have an easier time going with the flow. Just relax and enjoy ourselves until we get news that we need to evacuate. I envy that in others. I truly do. I had a hard time fully immersing in the moment the last couple days. We were checking perimeter maps and articles, Twitter posts and updates every couple hours. Once we were under alert and the winds were unrelenting I knew it was only a matter of time. I felt it in my gut. My anxiety would run away with itself every once in a while, visualizing flames coming over the hill and us abandoning all belongings to dramatically escape in the nick of time by speed boat. But then I would quickly bring myself back with reassurance and remember that the fire department would order our evacuation long before that situation was coming to life.

Our plan for the last few days of our trip were to slowly clean, pack up and ease into a Saturday departure. Truthfully, it took some convincing from my husband as I was feeling antsy to leave as the rumours of evacuation were swirling and the fire was creeping closer and closer by Thursday night. But ironically Friday morning the smoke that had shadowed almost our whole trip had completely disappeared. The sun was out, cumulus clouds were floating in stereotypical perfection as if plucked out of a Bob Ross painting. The wind was blowing and if you breathed deeply for a second you forgot that just a few kilometers away the meanest, most out-of-control fire in BC was tip-toeing closer and closer. Just as we got settled to soak up our last day of vacation, the evacuation order came in. We took an hour or so to pack up and we were out by 1 pm yesterday. Due to road closures, construction, two car accidents and general traffic, it took us about 9 hours to get home to Calgary.

It felt wonderful to wake up in our own bed this morning, but our minds are still thinking about what is going on the Okanagan. The whole of Vernon is now on alert. They fear embers from the fire could create new fires by jumping the lake. We saw a video showing parts of Westside road, the road we take to get to our place, ablaze in rampant flames. Our hearts are sinking a bit in pessimism that it might reach our doorstep. I can’t help but feel selfish, here worrying about a vacation home. There are those who are displaced, in an evacuation center, praying their homes don’t burn to the ground. And I feel for them. Wholeheartedly. I can’t imagine the torment and anxiety of such a situation. But also, the lake house on Beachwood Road is our little slice of paradise. It harbors countless family memories, photos, the kid’s heights on a hallway ruler, meals cooked over wine and laughter, projects started and finished, a safe haven during quarantine. Aaron’s dad has put endless blood, sweat and tears into getting the cottage just right for every family visit. Putting in stone patios, a brilliant deck built from scratch, his peach tree he desperately tries to save from the deer, bedroom renovations to accommodate the entire gaggle of us so everyone has a place to sleep. Our kids have gone out a number of times to help their Bumpa hammer nails, dig window wells, drywall and install shiplap for their Amma. I am sad to think all that will be lost and what it means moving forward. At the end of the day, there is insurance and all materials can be replaced and structures rebuilt. We are all safe and my fingers are crossed in hopes that the brave people fighting this fire start to get it under control. May our piece of heaven be spared, but most importantly mother nature run it’s course with forgiveness.

#wildfires #british columbia #white rock lake fire #okanagan #bc strong

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annwritesstuff · 6 years

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Bonnaroo - Some takeaways

I’ve been MIA on this blog for a few reasons ... One, I don’t like to create content just for content’s sake. Quality over quantity. Two, I’ve had a lot going on. This includes losing my job, applying to new jobs, dealing with my car getting broken into ... And, on a more positive note, going to Bonnaroo!

^Ya girl getting the obligatory Bonnaroo sign pic.

Bonnaroo was an EXPERIENCE, to put it mildly, but just what I needed. I’ve been meaning for a month now to write this post. I have a job now (thankfully), so before things get too crazy with my schedule I’m going to finish writing this damn thing and post it.

You probably already have some idea of what Bonnaroo is. Put simply, it’s a four-day camping music festival held on a farm in Tennessee about 1 hour south of Nashville. Obviously there’s much more to it than that.

I could write several posts about my Bonnaroo experience, but I’ll keep this one brief. Before I went I searched the web for advice for Bonnaroo first-timers. And while I found some helpful articles and message board posts, nothing could have truly prepared me for being there.

As a consumer of online advice, I’d like to contribute some of my own. So, here goes:

I underestimated just about every aspect of Bonnaroo.

My sweet boyfriend who has been to Bonnaroo 12 times tried to prepare me for several aspects of the ‘Roo experience before we went, but in hindsight it’s clear that I accepted his advice with a ton of naïveté. Some examples:

Josh: “It’s going to be hot. Like, really hot.” Me: “I grew up in Texas. I can tolerate the heat!

Oh boy ... Did I woefully underestimate what he meant. Prepare for heat at Bonnaroo as if you’re anticipating getting cooked alive. I grew up in an area that is hot for most of the year, yes. However, I’m used to going inside to A/C when the heat becomes too much. You can’t exactly do that at ‘Roo. If you hold a VIP pass there are opportunities to go into air conditioned tents. BUT, you shouldn’t spend your entire festival experience inside them.

Josh had mentioned to me that he usually wakes up not that long after the sun rises because it becomes so hot in his tent that he can’t stay asleep. THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION! I would say that most nights I was there, I got 4-5 hours of sleep. On these days, I tried to take what opportunities I could to nap during the day.

It rained on Saturday night/Sunday morning, which ushered in cooler temperatures and allowed us to sleep until 10 a.m. This felt amazing!

My advice- Stay hydrated. I brought a four-pack of Hydralyte not thinking I’d actually drink it unless I had a hangover, but I drank it sans hangover and it was a lifesaver! Find and take advantage of the shade. Pace yourself - Don’t stay out in the heat all day and risk becoming burnt out by the time it’s 4 p.m. (more on that later).

Obviously, wear sunscreen. The SPF-30 Target brand stuff I got the day before because it was cheap was really put to the test. I’m a white girl who burns easily, and I’m positive that if I went to ‘Roo sans sunscreen I would’ve come back with melanoma. I didn’t get sunburned, by some grace of god; however I remember thinking I hadn’t been burned but I hadn’t been “sun kissed” either ... It was like I had been aggressively sun hugged. All this is to say that sunscreen saved my skin (pun intended) and anything less than the cheap sunscreen I got wouldn’t have gotten the job done. Next year I’m splurging on Neutrogena SPF-100 with helioplex, baby!

Josh: “There is a lot going on and it’s impossible to do everything.” Me: “OK that’s fine, I don’t have to do everything.”

Do you experience FOMO? Well, if you don’t handle the Fear Of Missing Out well, you will have to deal with it at Bonnaroo. There is always something going on and it’s literally impossible to experience everything; Much less experience as much as possible while also staying hydrated and rested.

The afternoon of Friday, the first full day, Josh was (smartly) napping at our campsite and I couldn’t sleep. Excited and feeling like I had to ~*~*make the most*~*~ of my experience, I headed out to Centeroo, bought a mixed drink and went to see Japanese Breakfast perform.

It was great. Shortly after the set ended, though, I was drunk and exhausted. I wandered to a nearby tree, sat down and decided to close my eyes. I woke up about an hour later. It was 5 p.m.

5 P.M. I still had the whooooole evening and night ahead of me.

Don’t go hard during the day and drain your energy for the night! I would recommend resting during the hottest parts of the day as much as possible, and then venturing to the main attractions once the sun isn’t so high in the sky. Once the sun completely goes down, it’s much easier to be outside. If you’re in Centeroo during the afternoon, don’t feel the need to go hard. Watch concerts from the shade. Don’t overdo it with alcohol. Etc., etc.

Or, you could go hard during the day, then rest at night and miss the headliners. OR, you may be a superhuman who can just do it all. I don’t know your life! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you rest at your tent, you are not wasting time or missing out! You are ensuring that you will have a great time later without literally breaking your body!

Josh: “No, you don’t understand, [reiterates point to me about how brutal the experience can be.]”

He was right. While Josh tried to give me a good idea of what to expect at Bonnaroo, there’s no way I could have learned how to deal with being at Bonnaroo until I was in the middle of the shit being forced to adapt to it then and there. I feel like I can give out all the advice I can think of, but it will only get any future Bonnaroo attendee so far.

Apart from what I’ve already said about pacing yourself, staying hydrated and wearing suncreen,

ALL THAT BEING SAID ...

Bonnaroo 2018 was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It was the right time. It was the right place. It was the right company of folk. It was exactly what I needed at that moment in my life. I know you’re rolling your eyes right now, but I can’t put into words exactly how it made me feel. On Sunday night I sat watching The Killers, and thought “Nothing else matters right now.” And it was genuine.

I have anxiety and depression. I’ve dealt with it for years. When I thought “Nothing else matters right now,” it was my truth in that moment. It wasn’t something I was trying to tell myself, hoping I’d internalize it and actually believe it. It was the truth. Moments like this, as a person in a seemingly constant battle with her own thoughts, are so rare.

So, go. Risk a sunburn, a hangover, shitty sleep, FOMO, feeling ill-prepared for where you are. Go and experience everything Bonnaroo has to offer- the music, comedy, interesting people, crazy moments and everything a blog post can’t adequately articulate. You’ll get it.

^The remnants of the VIP camping section, Monday morning ...

I might write more at some point, but that’s it for this post. Bonnaroo 2019 begins on MY 28TH BIRTHDAY! I’ll be there. As of this writing, it’s only 337 days away 😊

#bonnaroo #bonnaroo2018 #musicfestivals

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newstfionline · 3 years

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Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Mass Transit Faces Huge Service Cuts Across U.S. (NYT) In Boston, transit officials warned of ending weekend service on the commuter rail and shutting down the city’s ferries. In Washington, weekend and late-night metro service would be eliminated and 19 of the system’s 91 stations would close. In Atlanta, 70 of the city’s 110 bus routes have already been suspended, a move that could become permanent. And in New York City, home to the largest mass transportation system in North America, transit officials have unveiled a plan that could slash subway service by 40 percent and cut commuter rail service in half. Across the United States, public transportation systems are confronting an extraordinary financial crisis set off by the pandemic, which has starved transit agencies of huge amounts of revenue and threatens to cripple service for years. The financial collapse of transportation agencies would especially hurt minority and low-income riders who tend to be among the biggest users of subways and buses.

Some Colleges Plan to Bring Back More Students in the Spring (NYT) It was a tough fall semester for many American colleges and universities, with declining enrollment, canceled classes and sporting events, widespread Zoom fatigue and enough coronavirus-infected students nationwide to fill three and a half Rose Bowls. But many university officials say that lessons from the fall will allow them to do something many experts considered unthinkable a few months ago: bring even more students back onto campus in January and February, when classes resume for the spring. The University of California, San Diego, for instance, is making room for more than 11,000 students in campus housing—about 1,000 more than it housed in the fall. The University of Florida is planning to offer more face-to-face classes than it did before the pandemic. And Princeton University, which let only a few hundred students live on campus last semester, has offered space to thousands of undergraduates. The determination to bring back more students, even as the pandemic is surging in many states, partly reflects the financial imperative to have more students paying room and board, as well as the desire to provide something resembling a college experience. But there is also an emerging confidence among at least some college administrators that they have learned much about managing the pandemic on their campuses.

Schools confront ‘off the rails’ numbers of failing grades (AP) The first report cards of the school year are arriving with many more Fs than usual in a dismal sign of the struggles students are experiencing with distance learning. School districts from coast to coast have reported the number of students failing classes has risen by as many as two or three times—with English language learners and disabled and disadvantaged students suffering the most. “It was completely off the rails from what is normal for us, and that was obviously very alarming,” said Erik Jespersen, principal of Oregon’s McNary High School, where 38% of grades in late October were failing, compared with 8% in normal times. Educators see a number of factors at play: Students learning from home skip assignments—or school altogether. Internet access is limited or inconsistent, making it difficult to complete and upload assignments. And teachers who don’t see their students in person have fewer ways to pick up on who is falling behind, especially with many keeping their cameras off during Zoom sessions.

Congressional crunch time (Foreign Policy) The U.S. Congress heads into what Politico has described as “hell week” as lawmakers attempt to pass a coronavirus relief act, defense bill, and reach a government funding agreement before a Dec. 11 deadline. A $908 billion coronavirus relief bill, negotiated over the weekend by a bipartisan group, will include a $300 weekly federal unemployment benefit, but stops short of reissuing $1,200 checks, last seen in May. Congress is expected to pass a defense spending bill on Tuesday. However, since it does not repeal Section 230 of the Communications Act as President Trump has demanded, it may face a presidential veto.

Mexican president wants to restrict US agents in Mexico (AP) Mexico’s President Andrés Manuel López Obrador has tossed another hot potato to U.S. President-elect Joe Biden with a proposal that would restrict U.S. agents in Mexico and remove their diplomatic immunity. The proposal submitted quietly this week by López Obrador would require Drug Enforcement Administration agents to hand over all information they collect to the Mexican government, and require any Mexican officials they contact to submit a full report to Mexico’s Foreign Relations Department. “The proposal is that foreign agents will not have any immunity,” according to a summary of the president’s proposal to the Mexican Senate published Friday. In most countries, the chief DEA agent in the country often has full diplomatic immunity and other agents have some form of limited or technical immunity. “The proposal requires that foreign agents give Mexican authorities the information they gather,” according the proposed changes. Mike Vigil, the DEA’s former chief of international operations, said of the handover of all information, “That is not going to happen.”

Should a coronavirus vaccine be mandatory? In Brazil’s most populous state, it will be. (Washington Post) The words couldn’t have been any clearer. In the most populous state in Brazil, anchored by the largest city in the Americas, getting vaccinated against the coronavirus won’t be a question of personal volition. It will be mandatory. “I’ve guaranteed that the 45 million Brazilians here in São Paulo will be vaccinated, and the vaccine will be obligatory,” Gov. João Doria told reporters in a slow, deliberate cadence. “We will take legal measures if there are any setbacks in this regard.” As countries race to approve the first round of coronavirus vaccines—including Britain on Wednesday authorizing the Pfizer vaccine—governments, businesses and civil institutions are grappling with an increasingly urgent question: Should it be required? The prospect of forcing people to take it has proved to be a delicate matter, pitting individual rights against collective need, personal inclination against social responsibility. Some public health officials argue that mandatory vaccination is the only way to vanquish the coronavirus and—compared with lockdowns and travel restrictions—far less burdensome. Other experts—and the majority of government leaders—say the opposite: The vaccine can’t be mandatory. People need to make their own decisions.

EU weighs up sanctions against Turkey in east Med gas dispute (Reuters) European Union foreign ministers evaluated grounds on Monday for sanctions against Turkey over a Mediterranean gas dispute before the bloc’s leaders decide at a summit on Dec. 10-11 whether to make good on their threat to impose punitive measures. Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan said his country would not “bow down to threats and blackmail” but repeated his call for negotiations over the conflicting claims to continental shelves and rights to potential energy resources. Tensions flared in August when Turkey—a NATO ally and candidate for EU membership—sent a survey vessel to map out energy drilling prospects in waters also claimed by Greece. EU leaders told Turkey in October to stop exploring in the disputed eastern Mediterranean waters or face consequences. France and the European Parliament, which formally called for sanctions on Nov. 26, say it is time to punish Turkey, which is seen in Brussels as fuelling the dispute for domestic political reasons.

Pope: ‘No pandemic can turn off the light of Christmas’ (Vatican News) There is no pandemic or crisis that can turn off the light of Christmas, Pope Francis affirmed, as he greeted the faithful present in St. Peter’s Square and following through the media during the Sunday Angelus. Noting that the Vatican’s Christmas tree has been erected in the Square and that the Nativity Scene will soon be unveiled, the Pope said that in many homes “these symbols of Christmas are being set up to the delight of children,” and also to the delight of those who no longer are children. “They are symbols, or signs of hope, especially during this difficult time,” he said, and he invited Christians not to stop at the symbols, but to go beyond and understand their meaning: “Jesus, the love of God, who was revealed to us to reach that goodness which has been poured out on the world.” And assuring us all that no pandemic or crisis can “turn off that light,” Pope Francis said: “Let us allow it to enter into our hearts and reach out toward those who are most in need.” Thus, he concluded: “God will once again be born in us and in our midst.”

India’s farming strike (Foreign Policy) Farmers in India called for a nationwide strike starting Tuesday, vowing to intensify protests against controversial new agriculture laws. The government argues that the new laws passed in September would allow farmers to sell produce directly to corporations, but farmers—the majority of whom are smallholders—fear that it will remove safeguards from exploitation. Protesting farmers blocked roads and railways in India’s north before converging on New Delhi last month. With some 60 percent of the Indian population dependent on agriculture, the backlash poses a real test for Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s government. Talks aimed at resolving the standoff failed on Saturday, as protest leaders have rejected the government’s offer to amend the laws, calling instead for a complete repeal of the legislation.

Rules of engagement (Foreign Policy) A new report by Brown University’s Costs of War Project finds that a 2017 U.S. Department of Defense relaxation of rules of engagement in Afghanistan coincided with a 95 percent increase in the number of civilian deaths caused by U.S. and allied airstrikes compared to the previous ten years. The report also found that 700 Afghan civilians were killed by airstrikes in 2019, the most killed in any year since the war began in 2001.

New roads pave way for massive growth of Israeli settlements (AP) In the coming years, Israelis will be able to commute into Jerusalem and Tel Aviv from settlements deep inside the West Bank via highways, tunnels and overpasses that cut a wide berth around Palestinian towns. Rights groups say the new roads will set the stage for explosive settlement growth, even if the incoming U.S. administration somehow convinces Israel to curb housing construction. The costly infrastructure projects signal that Israel intends to keep large swaths of the occupied territory in any peace deal and would make it even harder to establish a viable Palestinian state. “This is not another hundred housing units there or here,” said Yehuda Shaul, an Israeli activist who has spent months researching and mapping out the new projects. “This is de facto annexation on steroids.”

Facing War, Virus and Locusts, Ethiopia’s Once-Golden Economy Loses Its Luster (WSJ) For the past decade Ethiopia has boasted of one of the world’s fastest-growing economies, welcoming billions of dollars in foreign direct investment from the U.S. and China and lifting more than 20 million people out of poverty. Now, a monthlong civil war, coronavirus lockdowns and historic locust infestations have left the once-golden economy stumbling, as it grapples with one of Africa’s most perilous debt loads, soaring inflation and the risk of a protracted insurgency. Fighting between government forces and the rebel Tigray People’s Liberation Front has paralyzed much of northern Ethiopia, shaking a nation of 110 million people long seen as a symbol of stability in a volatile region.

Earth just notched its warmest November, as 2020 closes in on record for hottest year (Washington Post) The planet just had its hottest November on record, and 2020 may end up beating 2016 for the ignominious title of the warmest calendar year. The numbers come from the Copernicus Climate Change Service, a program of the European Commission, which is the first of several temperature tracking agencies to report temperature data for November and the first 11 months of the year. According to Copernicus scientists, global average temperatures during November were 1.4 degrees (0.77 Celsius) above 1981-2010 levels, beating the previous warmest November by a large margin. Australia had its hottest November, which featured multiple severe heat waves, and persistently above-average temperatures continued in Siberia and the Arctic. Meanwhile, Norway, Sweden and England set national records for their hottest November. Cooler-than-average temperatures were seen in parts of Africa, Kazakhstan, Canada, West Antarctica and parts of the tropical Pacific Ocean, where a La Niña event is underway. The presence of La Niña tends to put a damper on global average surface temperatures, and the fact 2020 is headed toward a record or near-record finish anyway can be viewed as an indication of global warming’s increasingly overt influence.

#headlines #news

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creative-type · 7 years

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Worth A Thousand Words III: Oda and Stealth Character Development

So...what’s the point of the Skypiea arc? It’s a question One Piece fans and detractors alike ask. I don’t know the answer, but it was probably because Oda thought it would be cool. By its very nature One Piece is not a tightly woven story. Rather, it’s a sprawling adventure epic, and it does sprawl epically.

Skypiea is, however, an excellent arc when it comes to Straw Hat development, and today I want to focus on one scene in particular with regards to my favorite Nico Robin.

No, not that one.

While there is a certain significance to the fact that a survivalist like Robin would choose to side with the Straw Hats over the hugely powerful Enel, the moment Zoro catches Robin is more important to Zoro than Robin. He was the most openly against her, the one who trusted her the least for the longest amount of time. Here Oda is showing us in big flashing lights that, yeah, Zoro has accepted Robin as part of the crew.

But I don’t want to talk about big, flashy character moments. I want to talk about this

Robin actually gets a pretty decent chunk of screen time during the Sky Island Saga as a whole. It was easier back then because Oda was juggling six main characters instead of nine, but it’s pretty easy to tell he was giving Robin special focus.

This makes sense. Firstly, Robin was a former enemy, so there’s a need to separate Nico Robin from her Miss All Sunday persona. Secondly, as important as Robin’s dreams are to the narrative as a whole, her position on the ship is the only one that isn’t strictly necessary. Any pirate crew requires fighters, cooks, navigators and the like, but very few would deem “archaeologist” as a position needing to be filled. So immediately after adding her to the crew Oda makes up a situation where Robin’s skills are helpful and necessary

In this scene Robin also establishes she’s the only one in the crew who’s even heard of the sky islands, while giving some much-needed wisdom to Nami. This, along with what we’ve seen in chapter 218 and the end of 217 gives us what we need to know about Robin’s personality and position in the Straw Hat’s crew. Then shortly after stealing Jaya’s eternal pose from Masira (showing off yet another skill usually relegated to Nami) Robin almost disappears from the narrative entirely and is largely absent from the Jaya sub-arc.

To be fair, up until this point she had been wearing Nami’s clothes, and Robin is, like, almost a foot taller than she is. Some shopping is justifiable here, but it brings me to one of the most important things to keep in mind when analyzing Robin as a character:

Isolation and Distance

One of the best ways to visually convey that a character is emotionally distant is to physically separate them from other people. When Robin first showed up as Miss All Sunday she was sailing the ocean alone. During her confrontation with the Straw Hats about their route she sat far above them where she couldn’t be touched. She left that argument with only her rad turtle ship for company, and spent a surprisingly large amount of the Baroque Works Saga apart from Crocodile despite ostensibly being his partner in crime.

Robin continues to be less than engaged after joining the crew. Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp fool off with one another constantly. Sanji and Zoro fight. Even Nami is known to smack the rest upside the head when they’re being stupid. Robin alone sits above all their antics, not showing her first face fault in a series lousy with them until well after the timeskip.

It’s pretty easy to pick up in the dialogue that Robin never calls any of the Straw Hats by their actual names, preferring to refer to them by their occupation (or their nose, in Usopp’s case). But the use of impersonal nicknames can’t be the reader’s only clue to Robin’s personality. Both Vivi and Robin have a habit of calling Zoro “Mr. Bushido”, but while the desert princess is kind, personable, and if anything cares a little too much, Robin is distant, standoffish, and at times even cold towards others around her.

You can even glean some insight from her fighting style. Robin doesn’t have to be in the same room with someone to kill them. She attacks from a distance, relying on stealth and surprise to snap necks and dislocate limbs. It’s brutally efficient and deeply impersonal, perfect for an assassin - or, perhaps, a young girl who was forced to learn on the fly how to fight against much larger opponents who showed no restraint or mercy.

This is something that was emphasized more in the anime where they had the benefit of knowing Robin’s backstory ahead of time and working little clues into the post-Alabasta filler. They’re a little on the nose at times, but episode 131 is a good example of what I’m talking about here, especially when emphasizing the fact that during the early chapters after joining the crew Robin often doesn’t speak unless directly addressed. To quote Oda in the Volume 71 SBS:

Reader: Robin always talks about creepy things in front of the crew. But her own thoughts, she often thinks of fun stuff like “cats” or “Dress Rosa”. Why doesn’t Robin talk about these things with the crew to make them laugh?

Oda: Even though Robin likes cute things, she’s a bit dark/creepy herself, so if she tries to put these cut thoughts into words there is a chance it may come out as scary/ominous. That’s the kind of woman Robin is.

Robin censers herself to avoid sounding weird. There’s enough evidence of her macabre sense of humor (spoke aloud) to assume that she has embraced her morbid self...most of the time. But Robin has been an outcast her entire life. Even before the Buster Call the citizens of Ohara were calling her demon/monster/creep/insert appropriate insult here.

(For those who don’t remember, the bruise on her cheek is from the other kids who were throwing rocks at her )

Robin spends large stretches of the Skypiea arc by herself, which further emphasizes the importance of what group interaction we do see. Robin has been hiding behind a well-crafted facade for nigh on twenty years because she needed to be a demon in order to survive the cutthroat world in which she lived.

Which takes us to point number two

Survival

Robin is all about living to see another day. Or she was until Crocodile shanked her (more on this below) Because of her past, she views the world through the lens of a survivor. It shapes how she thinks and how she acts, and Robin at this point doesn’t know any other way to live.

Robin has been miserably lonely for a long, long time, but believes if she allows herself to get close to others they’ll betray her. She learned the hard way not to trust anyone and that to let your guard down is to die. We see in Alabasta that Robin isn’t afraid to use deadly force against those who get in her way.

She’s got a bit of a mean streak, too. Though Robin didn’t kill Tagashi, she almost crippled her. That leg injury could have ended Tashigi’s career as a swordsman, which is almost crueler than killing her outright.

When Robin’s backstory is revealed in full the audience is always shown as Robin being the one betrayed, and never the betrayer. I think this helps garner sympathy, but her interaction with Crocodile shows that she’s not above a little backstabbing herself. Aokiji says that every organization she’s ever been a part of no longer exists, and I think that’s only possible if her reputation is at least somewhat deserved. When it comes to finding out the truth of the Void Century, Robin has literally the worst tunnel vision ever.

Which brings me to my last point

Openness to Change

Throughout the Sky Island Saga Robin is a woman who has lost her reason to live. Her only lead to the Rio Poneglyph was a dead end, and she doesn’t find Roger’s message until the end of the arc. That leaves a big chunk of time where she’s staying with the Straw Hats just because she can.

I think if she were as truly as fiercely pragmatic as she (and others) claim then she has no business on the Going Merry. Half of what the Straw Hats do is idiotic and should get them killed, and it’s amazing that they’ve survived this long as it is. Since Robin had resigned herself to death during the tail end of the Alabasta arc, we can assume that the idea of dying doesn’t bother her. Yes, Luffy made her go on, but she’s still stuck in this directionless limbo.

This is important because it gives Robin something other to focus on than the Void Century. Her desire to find the True History consumed her to the point where she was willing to work with Crocodile for four years and bring a “good” country to the brink of ruin. Without this obsession driving every decision Robin makes, she can take a step back and see the Straw Hat Pirates for what they really are.

The Stealth Character Development

Robin is not the focus of chapter 253. It’s a transition chapter situated between the first and second halves of the Skypea arc. The Straw Hats have reunited had their obligatory split the party moment that happen with frighteningly regularity. The crew are setting up camp as night approaches, comparing notes of what they’ve discovered so far.

Until this point, Robin has been with Zoro and Nami. These two make up 2/3 of the Straw Hats who showed initial distrust to Robin, and at this point Zoro stil hasn’t accepted her as one of their own. Yet they treat her with respect, and Nami especially seems to look up to her as an older sister figure.

Then Nami finds the other half of Cricket’s house, and without hesitation Zoro follows the comparatively weaker crew mate through the incredibly dangerous forest, which displays a trust for one another that would be very appealing to someone like Robin.

When the Straw Hats finally reunite, everyone is on good terms with one another. Remember, at this they’ve have stumbled into the middle of a civil war, made enemies with an unknown entity with a god complex, branded themselves as criminals, and almost gotten their ship destroyed. Some of their misfortune is just that - misfortune. But bad decision making plays at least a part of their current circumstance. It would be easy to turn on one another, and I think most pirates would. Just see how Usopp reacts when he sees what’s happened to the Merry

Anyone who has read the Water 7 arc knows how much Usopp loves this ship, but his first concern is Chopper. Compare to how any one of the Baroque Works agents reacted when someone failed a mission. Instead of falling apart during a time of crisis, the Straw Hats come closer together.

Chapter 253 begins with the crew setting up camp. Once again Robin goes off and does her own thing, this time finding a hunk of rock salt to use for cooking. Sanji predictably praises her, but he also reveals that he’s got a brain in his head by saying how important salt is to survival. Tick another box in the Straw Hat’s favor.

Every one of the Straw Hats helps set up camp, even the captain (useless as he may be). More than that, they each reveal a little of their talents. It’s sort of a reverse of what happens earlier in the arc when Robin showed off for the rest of the Straw Hat’s benefit. Through this Robin sees that the Straw Hats aren’t just good fighters, but smart and skilled as well.

After establishing the location of the gold and making plans for the next day, Robin makes a practical suggestion

This sequence marks the beginning of Robin’s stealth character development. She’s speaking here as a pragmatist and a survivor. Her point is valid, and any sensible person would have agreed with her.

The Straw Hat Pirates are many things, but sensible isn’t one of them. Luffy turns to Usopp in complete disbelief, while Usopp basically says “Go easy on her, Cap, there’s no way she could have known.”

Until this point, Robin has not been questioned by the Straw Hats. She’s not seen this sort of reaction directed at her, especially by Luffy. Her face says it all

Robin’s expression is pretty neutral here, but you can’t hide that sweat drop XD. She’s genuinely concerned that she’s made some sort of mistake. Remember, in Robin’s dog-eat-dog world a making a mistake is tantamount to death. She’s spent twenty years allying with people who at the very least distrust her, and more often than not try to kill her. And now, stuck up in in such a precarious position 10.000 meters above ground she has to be especially careful.

It’s okay, Robin, you’ve not done anything wrong. Luffy is just a dork

Note that Nami - the other survivalist in the crew - immediately jumps to her defense. They’re outnumbered by Zoro and Sanji, who have already made a giant bonfire.

Before we know it, the Straw Hats are partying with a bunch of wild wolves (Oda, plz...). They’re stuck deep in enemy territory on the night before a planned raid on the city of gold...and the Straw Hat Pirates are having a blast. Usopp’s playing the drums, Nami’s getting plastered, the rest are dancing their little hearts away, and Robin...Robin is smiling. This has got to be one of the most surreal, bizarre situations she’s ever seen.

Which brings us back to the image I started with

This says a lot about where Robin is at this point in the story. We can’t see her face clearly, but it’s established on the other half of the spread that she’s enjoying herself. Yet she remains distant, both physically and emotionally. The only thing that’s keeping Robin from joining in is Robin herself.

The Skypiea arc is important to Robin’s development because it rekindles her dream, but more than that it gives us moments like this where Robin is exposed to something she’s desired for twenty years, something we see later she’s always wanted but never believed that she would have.

The Straw Hat Pirates accept Robin unconditionally and show her a side of life that she’s never seen before. Even without knowing her entire backstory, by the time the Water 7 arc rolls around the audience genuinely believes that Robin would sacrifice her life, and the lives of every one else in the world, just to save the Straw Hat Pirates, and that wouldn’t be possible if Oda hadn’t given us this scene and others like it.

To put it another way, I fully believe that Robin would still make the same decisions during Water 7/Enies Lobby regardless of whether she found Roger’s message or not. The Skypiean Poneglyph furthers Robin’s part of the plot, but chapter 253 furthers her character arc.

What makes this all the more impressive is that Oda trusts his readers enough to figure it out for themselves. Unlike the anime, he never calls attention to Robin’s isolation and her gradual warming to the crew. Gan Fall wakes up on the very next page, and the focus shifts to more exposition, ending with the big reveal of what vearth is and why in the it’s so important. The development is stealthy.

Oda never makes a big deal of when Robin starts calling the crew by their real names during Thriller Bark. He doesn’t shove it in our face when she feels comfortable enough to tell Franky off for being stupid in Chopper’s body during Punk Hazard. He’s constantly using small moments all throughout the series to show how the crew has changed and grown, which is partially why people don’t think the characters have much depth.

It’s there, but without reading carefully it can be lost with everything else that’s going on. Just compare the Skypiean party to the end of Enies Lobby and tell me that Robin hasn’t changed. I dare you.

#One Piece #Nico Robin #Writing #Manga #Analysis #Character Development #Skypiea #Eiichiro Oda #creative-type analyzes

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redrobin-detective · 6 years

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The Long Way Around 2

Merry Christmas Eve everyone! I hope everyone has a good holiday! I've decided to go with once a week posting and I'm kinda liking Sundays so I'll stick with that for now. Now that the obligatory introduction is out of the way, we can move into the plot which takes a bit (a lot) of preparation and build-up. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for all the comments!

Chapter One <-- --> Chapter Three

Chapter Two: Toned Muscles

If Izuku was going to get into Yuuei, he needed to toughen up, physically and mentally. Right now, there was hardly anything heroic about him. If he wanted to get anywhere, he needed to start getting serious. The night following the sludge incident, Izuku pledged that he would put everything he had in order to pass Yuuei's entrance exam.

And just like that, his ten months of hell had begun.

Every morning Izuku woke up early for runs and did push-ups and crunches and lifted weights every evening. It was absolutely exhausting but he couldn't slow down. He needed to build himself and he needed to do it fast. But he had to be smart about it; to compete with the hero kids' quirks, he'd need to fight smarter not harder. Exercising was all well and good but Izuku knew he needed a proper teacher if he wanted to get anywhere.

In the end, it wasn't all that hard to convince his mother to let him sign up for martial arts classes. He'd fought down the guilt clawing at the back of his throat when he explained that he was only interested in self-defense. It's better this way, he told himself as he looked into all the martial arts styles that would best serve his purposes.

Izuku spent a week researching his options and coming up with a plan before he takes his first step. He decided to start simple. His middle school had an after-school Aikido club that was offered for free. He'd always skipped out on afterschool activities in favor of hero chasing but, if he wants to become Japan's first quirkless hero, then he needed step up.

However, just getting into the class ended up being more trouble than he'd initially thought. The instructor kept telling him he couldn't join for increasingly more ridiculous reasons. It didn't take him long to realize that he probably didn't want the hassle of 'accommodating' for the school's only quirkless kid. This, of course, only made him more determined. Only once Izuku got his mother involved and threatened to go to the school board did they finally decide it was easier to just let him join. It was a hollow victory but, when you're quirkless, you take what you can get.

The club itself wasn't too bad, most people were happy enough to ignore him. Izuku learned and soaked up every bit of knowledge he could, pushing himself every meeting and practicing before and after school. It was exhausting, starting from the bottom to build up his strength and stamina but he progressed, bit by agonizing bit.

But Aikido, a strong defensive art, wasn't going to be enough. If he really wanted to go pro, he had to learn more offensive moves as well. In his research, Izuku had found a small academy almost an hour out of his way that was exactly what he was looking for. So he told his mom he was going to be late one afternoon and hopped on the train after school, trembling with nervous anticipation all the way.

This was his starting line, now he just had to reach it.

The academy was small, but well kept, tucked neatly out of the way. Izuku entered quietly, explained his situation to the receptionist and was shown back to the dojo where he waited five, then ten minutes. Finally, the door slid open and a tall, lean man came in. He had a few days worth of growth on his thin face and stern eyes; his black hair with a receding hairline was pulled back into a messy bun.

"I'm not taking any more students," the man stated gruffly as his dark eyes flicked up and down Izuku's body with disinterest. "Especially undisciplined children who think they can walk in off the streets and learn a martial art like it's some sort of game," he folded his arms over his chest. "The door is that way, I hope the rest of your afternoon is spent doing something more productive." With a brusque nod, he turned to go.

"Your name is Rikimaru Daiki, you're 39 years old and your quirk is Rooting which allows you to stick yourself to any surface you touch and not be moved." Izuku shouted desperately, he clenched his fingers into his pants, balling up the material and forcing himself to make eye contact when Rikimaru turned back with a bored expression.

"You're something of a local celebrity in the martial arts world. You came onto the scene 20 years ago with no official training and no sponsors to support you. You lost more than you won at first but as you learned the rules of organized martial arts, you began taking in victory after victory. In interviews, you said you learned to fight on your own when, in fact, you probably learned during your time living on the streets and the 3 years you spent in reform school. You officially retired from professional fighting 2 years ago and you opened this academy. They say you're notoriously picky with your students, taking only those you consider worthy regardless of how much they can pay you." Izuku grit his teeth, tearing his eyes away from the man to glare angrily at the floor as he could feel hot tears burning in the corner of his eyes. He tried to stop them but he was too full of want and desperation that he couldn't stop them. Izuku spared a second to wipe at his eyes before making eye contact again.

"I want to learn Jeet Kune Do and I came here, out of all the academies in the city, because you know what it means to have to fight for something, to sweat and bleed for a drop of respect from the people who'd much rather kick you down and see you fail." Izuku's throat felt dry from the intensity of Rikimaru's stare but he persevered.

"I've had to fight every day of my life just to stay afloat. I need to learn to channel the drive I feel inside and I believe you are the only one who can help me. I understand that I'm untrained but I still beg of you to consider taking me as your student." Izuku took a deep long breath and bowed his head, hoping that he managed to say something right in that mess.

"That's quite the introduction young man. You've got spunk, I'll give you that, but tell me," Rikimaru closed the distance between them and squatted down so they're more level. Izuku sniffled slightly and looked up to meet the man's hard but curious eyes. "What exactly is your drive? Why do you need to learn Jeet Kune Do so bad? This isn't a fun fighting style, it's meant to be strong and aggressive. A boy like you shouldn't need that."

"I-I," Izuku stuttered as he swallowed thickly, trying to loosen up his tongue. He thought back to that day not long ago: the unmoving crowd of civilians and heroes, the rancid smell of heated sludge and Kaachan's desperate, fearful gaze that had him running without a second thought. And just like that, Izuku finds his voice.

"I'm going to go to Yuuei and I'm going to become the first quirkless hero. I won't be the strongest, or the fastest, of your students. But if you agree to train me, I can promise you that I will work twice as hard as anyone you have ever taken on before. I'll have to if I want to reach my goal." Izuku put on his fiercest look and dared the older man to laugh at him. Predictably, he did anyway.

Rikimaru pulled back and laughed heartily as if Izuku's lifelong dream was just a joke which it probably is in all honesty. Izuku took a deep breath and tried to steady himself; it's not like he wasn't used to that sort of reaction. He'd been so focused on trying not to appear upset that he was startled when Rikimaru's large hand landed on his head. The older man squatted down again with a wry smile on his face.

"A quirkless hero, huh? and here I thought I'd heard everything. What's your name, son?"

"M-M-Midoriya Izuku," he stammered out, "does this mean you'll take me on, Sir?" The hand on his head began to roughly ruffle his hair.

"First of all, that's Shishou to you," Rikimaru answered gruffly, but not unkindly, as he stood back up and began to stretch out his limbs. "Second, I think you're crazy, Midoriya but I've seen your kind before. I know all too well that you're going to keep searching until you find someone just as crazy as you are to teach you. Might as well make sure you do it safely and smartly."

Izuku was so used to disappointment that it took him a few seconds to process just what the man, his new master, had told him. He immediately stood up and dipped into a low bow out of respect and also to hide the fact that he'd started to cry yet again.

"Thank you Rikimaru-shishou! I won't let you down I promise, I'll give it everything I have and then some."

"Don't thank me yet boy. You promised me you'd work twice as hard and I'm going to hold you to that and, believe me, if I think for one instant that you aren't worth my time, you're out. You got that?" Izuku nodded vigorously. "Alright, I'll expect you here every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday from 1600 to 1900 where I'll make you sweat, bleed and cry and maybe turn you into a real martial artist."

"Alright! I'm also taking Aikido at my school so I'll just skip on Mondays and Wednesdays and come right here. Um in my research it said you usually negotiated your fee depending on the student. It's just me and my mom so we don't have a lot of extra money. I can talk with my mom about what we can afford and we can work something out for my first lesson." Izuku muttered quietly under his breath only to stop when he saw Rikimaru-shishou finish his stretches and remove his shirt.

"Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much, kid?" Rikimaru-shishou said as he slipped into a casual fighting stance. "We can work out all that stuff while you show me what you've got. Do you happen to know what day it is, Midoriya?" Shinshou grinned in a way that was slightly menacing. "It's Wednesday, your first lesson begins now. Let your mother know you're going to be late. There are some spare uniforms in the back, find something in your size and change into it. I'm sure your mother doesn't want to clean blood out of your school clothes."

Izuku ended up getting home very late that night having spent hours with Rikimaru-shishou planning his new training regimen. He was tired and aching and probably going to be even more so tomorrow but he felt happier than he'd felt in a long while. Finally, he was on his way. He eagerly spoke with his mother over their dinner about Rikimaru-shishou and the quite reasonable fee the man asked for when his mom set down her bowl with a quiet, hesitant clink.

"Izuku, why are you doing this?" Mom asked quietly, keeping her eyes downwards while she anxiously played with her fingers.

"Self-defense Mom, you know, we talked about this, remember?" Izuku answered weakly, the lie heavy and uncomfortable.

Mom frowned unhappily and looked up at him sternly but the effect is lessened by the obvious worry in her eyes. "I'm not stupid Izuku, the Aikido I understand but this, this is basically street fighting propped up to be a martial art. I just," she sighed and rubbed at her temple. "I'm worried for you. I don't know what you're thinking right now and that scares me. You've been so different since you met that sludge villain and I don't know what to do." Izuku set down his dinner and reached across the table for her hand.

"Mom," Izuku said, feeling her adjust her hand so she was holding his. "You know my dream, the same one I've had my whole life. I've waited and waited for a quirk to come for so long and it's just… not." He looked up and saw tears gathering in her eyes. "But it's not your fault, or mine, probably isn't dad's either. It just is, only now, I've decided that I'm not going to wait for my dream anymore. I'm going to work for it," he said as he gave her hand a tight squeeze.

"Rikimaru-shishou is going to teach me offensive fighting, and I'll learn defense and stamina from the school's Aikido. I'm going to study up and learn the best tools and strategies to counter all kinds of quirks. I'm going to apply to Yuuei in February and I'm going to become the first quirkless hero." This time his mom can't be bothered to hide her tears and Izuku felt himself start to get emotional too.

"Baby," Mom said quietly as she brought his hand up to her face.

"I know it's stupid and crazy and impossible but, Mom, I just can't… turn this part of me off. I need to try Mom, I need to or I'll never be happy," Izuku steeled himself and continued. "A-A long time ago, you told me that you were sorry, when we found out I was quirkless," he said thickly, drudging up those old, painful memories.

"Well right now, I don't need you to say you're sorry again or tell me I can't do this. I'm-I'm tired of being put down before I even get started. I just need someone to believe in me for once, to say 'hey Izuku, you might just be crazy enough to pull this off!'" Losing steam, he lowered his head and muttered quietly to himself. "I just want the chance to prove I'm not completely useless."

"Hey Izuku," Mom blubbered from the other end of the table. He looked up and saw that she's barely keeping it together as she continues to cup his hand to her face. "I believe you just might be crazy enough to pull this off." She closed her eyes and blinked back those heavy tears. "Just not too crazy, you hear me young man? You have to keep your dear old mother's poor heart in mind," he bit his lip and nodded enthusiastically.

"I will I promise, I'll work hard and make you proud, Mom," Izuku said. His mom sighed and gave his hand a quick kiss before letting it go.

"Oh Izuku, I've always been proud of you. Never forget that, no matter what anyone else tells you; I've always known you were going to be something special. Follow your dreams honey, I'll support you wherever you go."

Now that he had a proper teacher, his training drastically increased in intensity and Izuku eagerly met the challenge.

Now it wasn't just his body that needed training but his mind too. There was no way Izuku was going to come close to bridging the physical gap so Izuku had to learn to think his way out of situations. He no longer had the time to chase after hero battles but he still kept up to date via his various news apps. Every hero and villain clashes were meticulously analyzed late at night when he should be sleeping, looking for weakness and how he would have fought had he been there.

Izuku had promised Rikimaru-shishou that he'd work twice as hard and he absolutely did. It seems he spent just as much time dry heaving on the floor of the dojo as he did training. But no matter how sore he felt, no matter how heavy exhaustion made his eyelids, Izuku got up dutifully every morning. It was a demanding, rigorous schedule but little by little, he began to see himself improve.

His runs became longer as he covered distances faster. The moves that once seemed impossible came to him easier until they became instinctual. Rikimaru-shishou beat out his awkwardness, his hesitation and replaced it with strength and diligence. Izuku never won any of their matches, probably never would, but he stopped losing as badly. He trained day and night until he became as skilled with a bō as he was with his fists.

Even the school run Aikido program gave him a standard to build off of, a way to blend the ferocity of Jeet Kune Do with the elegance of a traditional martial art. A welcome side effect of his training was that the bullying dropped down to practically nothing. Kaachan hadn't really bothered him since the sludge incident and, between that and Izuku's now obvious muscle tone, potential bullies steered clear of him.

This progress only spurned him on and made him train himself even harder. Izuku actually burnt himself out by going above what Shishou had laid out for him. His master sure tore into him that day, going on about how overwork would only hurt him in the end. But sitting on the floor of the dojo, his muscles trembling from the simple strain of sitting upright, Izuku thought only think of his goals and he couldn't bring himself to regret it.

Yes, the last 10 months had been brutal but Izuku is pleased by how far he's come in such a short time. But of course, it would all be for nothing if he didn't make it into Yuuei.

Izuku sighs for what must be the hundredth time and rolls over in his bed and tries to force sleep to come. The entrance exam is tomorrow and he needs to be in tip top shape. Well, it's not like he's actually going to doing any fighting or anything but he still needs to be well-rested. Izuku frowns and rolls over again until he's facing a large All Might poster on his wall which really doesn't help his mood right now. Maybe that's part of his insomnia, the frustration that he's not even bothering to apply for Heroics.

Part of him, the part that has been slowly built up over the last 10 months, is screaming that he has earned the right to compete with all the other prospective hero students. But the larger, more practical side counters that they probably wouldn't even let him in the door without a quirk.

So he's aiming for the General Education department, still considered to be one of the finest, most competitive high school programs in Japan. Besides, several pro heroes started in General and were able to transfer over to Heroics. Izuku tells himself he's being cowardly for not going all the way. He also tells himself he's already being optimistic about his chances. In the end, he's left feeling nauseous and a bit sweaty but eventually manages to fall into a fitful sleep.

In his dreams, he dreams of heroes.

While Izuku tries and eventually succeeds in falling asleep, across town in a small, unremarkable apartment, a living legend is pacing in his kitchen. Toshinori, more famously known as All Might, is still in his costume which hangs uncomfortably off his thin and battered frame. He pinches his nose in frustration as he adjusts the phone on his shoulder.

"Please, can't we do this at a more reasonable hour? I need to be at Yuuei for the entrance exams first thing in the morning and I'm not exactly as young as I used to be." Toshinori yawns as he catches a glimpse at the time and wonders if it'd just be easier to stay up and then head to the school.

"First of all, I knew you were awake because I saw on the news that you stopped a bus collision not more than 30 minutes ago, good work on that by the way," Nighteye says drolly. "And second, you won't talk to me any time during the day so I figured I'd try the middle of the night," the man continues, sounding stressed and exhausted.

Toshinori rubs at his face with bony fingers. He'd be more concerned for his former sidekick's wellbeing if the man was wasn't such a pain in his- "All Might please, just look at the file I sent you. This young man is perfect, you couldn't ask for a better successor to take your place as the Symbol of Peace."

Toshinori snorts dismissively as he avoids getting tangled in the phone cord. He really wishes Nighteye had called his cell phone. But, again, he probably wouldn't have picked up once he saw who popped up on the caller ID. "You make it sound like a job interview," he spits out feeling bitter and fragile and everything All Might is not. But it's late and he's not All Might right now. "This isn't-" Toshinori snaps before stopping and taking a calming breath "this isn't something I can decide from a file, Nighteye. This is, personal, and important, probably the most important thing I will ever do."

"I know, which is why I'm trying to help you. You're sick, All Might, you need to start training a successor now or you-you might not be able to." Toshinori finds himself morbidly amused that his former sidekick seems more choked up about his predicted death than he himself was. "I've had him at my agency since the last Sports Festival and he's everything you could possibly want, he's just like you." Toshinori rolls his eyes, like me or like All Might, he wants to say but of course he doesn't. As much resentment and frustration has been built up in his chest, he can't take that out on Nighteye who's a friend, who's a fan.

"Just look at the file, if you look at it and you still don't like him then I promise I'll let it go. But I will keep searching, the perfect successor isn't just going to drop into your lap." Toshinori is tense and unhappy as he stands in his kitchen, hunched over an old corded phone, feeling more tired than he has any right to be. "If you're interested, I can let you meet him. See the boy up close, as a person and not just a job applicant. You can decide for yourself if he's worthy or not." Toshinori doesn't answer, instead he trails back over to where the phone is hooked up to the wall before he trips over the cord and breaks his hip or something. "All Might?"

"Fine, fine," Toshinori sighs. "If it will get you off my back, I'll look at your file and we'll see if I'm up for meeting him. I just-" I just don't like how impersonal this feels. My Master picked me up and trained me from nothing and now I get to analyze and judge a kid based on statistics and calculations. "I just guess I'm nervous is all, tired too. You do realize midnight passed quite some time ago."

"Of course, I'll let you get your rest; I know how much you need it," Nighteye replies gently, relief evident in his tone. "Let me know what you think of the boy, alright? I have a few other candidates in mind but I really believe this is the one."

"Yeah, okay. You try and sleep sometime today too, I'll talk to you later." Toshinori says, hanging up the phone before the other man can nag any more. Honestly, who needs a spouse when he has Nighteye? He sets the phone back in its cradle; a loud click in the silence of the apartment.

Rubbing at his eyes again, Toshinori trudges over to his bedroom, holding his costume to avoid tripping. He passes by his desk and his eyes fall on the manila folder lying innocently off to the side, buried under a few meaningless papers. Before he can second guess himself, he grabs it and gives the file a droll look. Togata Mirio huh? Well, Nighteye is right, time is running out and he needs to choose someone eventually. Toshinori enters his bedroom with the folder tucked haphazardly under his arm.

XxX

Izuku wakes up in a panic the next morning, shaking and sweating and certain that he's missed the Yuuei entrance exam. It's only after he's climbed out of bed and was hurriedly trying to put on pants that he looks outside and realizes it's still dark out. A glance at his phone tells him that his alarm isn't set to go off for another hour. Despite being exhausted, Izuku knows he's too anxious to fall back asleep so he decides he might as well go through his normal exercises.

As always, his feet pounding on the pavement and the pleasant burn in his muscles as he works through his stances helps him find his equilibrium. By the time he's showered, eaten breakfast and ready to go, Izuku is twice as tired but miraculously his anxiety has died down to a dull buzz. His mom runs her hand through his hair as he prepares to leave.

"I'll be thinking about you Izuku, be safe and don't let anyone get you down."

"It's just a written exam for the General Education kids, Mom," Izuku answers with a smile even though a part of him wants to scream.

"There's no one path in life, Izuku. I know you're upset but I think this is the right decision for right now; you'll get there, honey. Don't think of this as a roadblock but as the first step in your journey." His mom says gently and Izuku smiles for real this time before beginning his trip to Yuuei.

By the time he reaches the school, his nervousness was back with a vengeance, threatening to make him spew right on the steps of one of the greatest schools in Japan. Instead, Izuku puts one foot in front of the other and forces himself to keep walking. He's so busy trying to keep himself from being sick that he almost misses the entrance to the Heroics exam. It almost would have been better if he hadn't.

Izuku watches the crowd of students who were heading into the hero entrance with nervous but proud expressions on their faces. His fists clenched, all of them had probably been told that their quirks would get them into Yuuei. They'd probably never had the same feeling of desperate, futile wanting that Izuku lived with everyday. For a second, Izuku entertains the thought that he might hate them for their confidence and quirks before he shakes himself out of that negative thinking.

That wasn't the attitude for a future hero, or at least, for a kid about to sit for one of the hardest tests he'd ever take.

With one last longing look at the hero entrance, Izuku turns and starts to head towards his actual exam location when he spots him. Kaachan is making his way through the crowd looking focused and surprisingly calm. His old friend may have backed off on the bullying since the sludge incident but that didn't mean he would be happy to see Izuku here. Using the stealth skills he'd cultivated over the last year, Izuku was able to ensure Kaachan never saw him. A sigh of relief and a glance at his watch tells him that he really needs to head out. He turns and runs smack into someone.

"Oh!" The girl says, starting to teeter backwards but Izuku reaches out and steadies her before she falls.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!" Izuku blushes, about to stammer about a few more apologies when his feet leave the ground. He yelps as he starts to float upwards. The girl he'd almost knocked over grabs ahold of his arm before he can go any higher.

"Sorry about that! You startled me and I just activated my quirk without thinking," the girl says, looking a bit flustered herself. She lowers Izuku back to the ground and brings her hands together where gravity reasserts its hold on him.

"It's fine," the brown haired girl says cheerily. She's got rosy red cheeks and a warm smile that gives Izuku vertigo. "Thanks for not letting me fall, that seems like a bad omen for me to fall on my face right before the exam. You have good reflexes, I'm sure you'll pass for sure."

Her open expression was so bright and clear it short circuited his brain a little bit. A girl was talking to him! And there wasn't a trace of mockery in her voice! "Ugh, I'm so nervous I bet you are too," she says with a friendly expression. All he could do was look at her with a gaping mouth. "Well, good luck, maybe I'll see you later!" She waves as she runs off towards the hero entrance.

The realization that she probably figured he also was taking the Heroics exam startles him out of his hazy thoughts. It reminds Izuku that he really, really needs to get to his own exam before he did something stupid like actually attempt to take the Heroics exam without a quirk.

Izuku jogs towards the General Education entrance which was on the other end of the large campus. Along the way, he finds himself thinking about the brown haired girl. She was kind and had a pretty amazing quirk, he finds himself hoping she makes it. Maybe if luck was in his favor for once, he'd get to fight alongside her one day.

He slows down as he arrives at the exam entrance. Well, no matter what the future held, this was his starting line.

The test ends up being incredibly difficult and he's reminded that while he views Gen Ed as something of a stepping stone, that this still a highly sought after program for students of all backgrounds. Izuku leaves the testing facility feeling shaky and unsure if he even had what it took to get through this smaller obstacle.

While Izuku waits for the results, he can almost pretend everything is normal. He'd put all his hopes and dreams into Yuuei. In the agonizing days waiting for the results, he wonders what he'd even do if he didn't get in. Izuku exists in a perpetual state of numbness and anxiety until he comes home from training one day to find a sealed envelope waiting for him on the counter. He opens it with shaking fingers and finds information on what he'll need for the spring term.

He was in; Izuku was going to attend Yuuei's General Education department. Despite the fact that this was good news, he can't help but feel disappointed. He could have been opening a letter to from the hero course; this could have been his hero academia. Instead he shakes his head and scrubs roughly at his eyes.

He'll never know if he chose right or wrong but either way, the decision was made and he had to live with it. So shoving all those negative emotions deep down, he puts on his brightest smile for his mother who was anxiously pacing behind him. He holds up the acceptance letter and her delighted shriek almost makes him forgot that he still has a long way to go before he reaches his ultimate goal. But he'll never stop working for it.

#fic: The Long Way Around #my writing #boku no hero academia #bnha

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We produce like breaking files staunch now ABC files can now mission that Joseph Biden. Is anticipated to preserve the Michigan democratic main that is enormous files tonight. Joseph Biden ABC files camp mission will preserve the Michigan democratic main. With 52% of the vote game he has a double digit lead that is gonna alternate the makeup of the delegates this modified into as soon as the most engrossing hall tonight. And Jill Biden went to verbalize that police Sanders obtained in a truly. Headline critical trend. Four years in the past that is gonna mean plenty for Joseph Biden's momentum as to mean plenty for a battleground verbalize Heidi hi camp that is that that is the extra or less files Democrats prefer. Joseph Biden wins right here. Voters stood by him. And Michigan is a verbalize where it's gonna be a battleground reach November and it's additionally mediate where you like urban areas of rural voters who like faculty age voters you like. School cities. 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Over 45 years extinct which additionally does skew is basically in decide on of Joseph Biden. But it looks fancy as a minimal for now corona virus and preserve these but these voters at residence lifestyles but all that files accrued coming in I wanna toddle over Nate Silver now from our companions at 538. Kate is considered as we reported that files eyesight ethical going to tanning your keyboard there I factor in him no longer in my mind we're ethical crunching some numbers there what occurs to the Bernie Sanders campaign at this level what are you able to convey. I mean that's partly as a lot as senator Sanders what they need to produce from there are four states totaled nearly 600 delegates vote casting subsequent week there may maybe be a debate on Sunday. Clearly he's no longer getting the implications would assign them on tracker basically that shut the be aware for him to preserve the nomination react when Mitch staunch by some margin which that you can judge. So it's a topic of are you able to like as bigger shift as you had along with his story shift in direction of Biden the previous two weeks I mean even then. By the level we accumulate to subsequent week we will like had 60% don't it's already voted up to now so it's attending to be very very gradual recently for the senator from Vermont. All staunch Nate Silver acknowledged you will want to herald our political crew Rick Klein and Mary Alice parks from Washington recline at wanna toddle to you first tonight we ethical projected Michigan. That is gonna toddle to Jill glided an huge momentum when just correct friend what does this mean for the verbalize of the fade on your notion. No longer a engrossing with a Sanders aide earlier tonight considers your entire if they truly is all about Michigan they were looking at for a tough night but they were hoping against hope that they would pull off in Michigan they belief that the bottom gaming organizations spending advantage that he had their. We will be rate a pair of aspects and assign him over the brink that seems now to not be the case tonight and I've considered abet is now recognizing that actuality there's going to be some regrouping. In circles across the sanders' campaign they are pointing to that debate coming. This weekend and naturally the contest subsequent week with about doesn't accumulate more straightforward from right here. This modified into as soon as an absolute need to preserve verbalize for Bernie Sanders symbolically distinguished substantively distinguished the most engrossing one on the intention recently an limitless November battleground. And to gape that Joseph Biden reach in and initiate to use away on the Sanders voters white working class voters integrated. He's a devastating blow to Bernie Sanders campaign. Mary Alice parks it's possible you'll like got covered the sanders' campaign inside of and out you were there four years in the past when he obtained this verbalize in Michigan it's possible you'll maybe even be it's possible you'll maybe even be take tonight with requirements shedding. Michigan. But Michigan four years in the past surprise this editor we were flying from Michigan to Florida. We land did add to the files that he hadn't obtained in Michigan. And the crew scrambled to fetch a podium for him to edge arrest. The journalists. They were for real that they normally drank round a campfire all night celebrating Michigan as this verbalize that gave their campaign. More light utilize beyond regular time for years in the past and dinky doubt they're hoping for the actual same chronicle out of tonight. You know there basically to divide in the Democratic Birthday celebration that they were hoping we're gonna play in their decide on. The age divide that I modified into as soon as talking about earlier and that divide accrued is overwhelmingly plank in their decide on. Nonetheless the opposite devised frankly modified into as soon as extra of a class divide a working class vote a blue collar vote and hasn't been talking about all night that modified into as soon as basically the vote that. That propelled him to victory four years in the past in Michigan. Nonetheless where Joseph Biden is -- Billy his most pure competitor in that dwelling a real rival that's a hit that vote this time. Mary Alice did a white particular person produce need to herald Adam inexperienced all as soon as more from revolutionary alternate campaign committee. Adam I purchased a assign a question to for you so trot me by the strategy now you sit you will want to gape that debate. Subsequent week in Arizona it's going to be indubitably one of the critical states that votes subsequent Tuesday. Because you wanna mediate the matchup and that's would forward it wants as successfully Bernie Sanders first Joseph Biden if Joseph Biden is the eventual nominee. What's the coolest thing a pair of presumably guarding him heated debate. Yes there's there's no attend and gutting candidate debate there may maybe be a attend game having a whoever the democratic nominee is. Stand the check of time basically need to firm campaign. You know. Take care of the pains of a debate in a campaign for extra than a pair days has been one week since Fat Tuesday. So I'm no longer luck we're no longer a Bernice Sanders endorsing community but we're any individual that truly wants to be trump. In repeat be trump we'd like any individual who can going to debate stage no longer. You know no longer lose their chilly. Eyes no longer embarrass themselves and survive afterwards that's basically it I judge I judge Joseph Biden would leave a stronger candidate. Another time sturdy. If he does successfully the debate against Bernie Sanders it's a real level Elizabeth Warren who urged her what produce you judge her subsequent transfer is on this fade. You know Elizabeth Warren had a truly long right here and he or she deserves her time to determine her her subsequent apps but what we already saw recently. Is that she is taking. A leadership role on this corona virus downside. I mean she is asking out the corruption of the trump administration. No longer allowing other folks to accumulate examined it seems now giving tax breaks of the fossil gas industry for some motive. I'm and that she's tense that there be accountability. And as a other folks accumulate wound. Because trump wants to preserve the numbers low one what number of other folks accumulate examined. And are diagnosed are I judge that on disorders fancy that we are going to mediate and the industrial downturn we can mediate an huge leadership role for Elizabeth Lorraine and he or she'll take the fight to trump all staunch. Adam thanks I produce need to accumulate Matt dowdy on this breaking files now we like now lower than two minutes sooner than we like now to take a network shatter. You may maybe give me your sense is is is that this form of another political earthquake on this campaign for president on the democratic facet. I don't judge it's an earthquake I judge it's an aftershock from the earthquake from South Carolina the earthquake occurred and then now we like now considered a ripple affection aftershocks. Since that deadline I judge did there's been a excellent storm has benefited. Joseph Biden and I judge it's possible you'll maybe even be Bernie Sanders had after tonight has to truly assign a assign a question to to himself some serious questions I'm no longer pleased that the -- occurred on Sunday I'm no longer pleased. This may maybe occur but when it does occur. Bernie Sanders has to position a assign a question to to himself. I'm going to transfer to that debate produce I toddle to that debate. And take a gape at to rip into radiant Joseph Biden which a selection of Democrats at this deadline are going to be very upset about on story of they're gonna judge after tonight. He'll be the nominee staunch produce I toddle into that debate even when I produce the debate. And ethical recent the form of revolutionary argument and no longer attacked Joseph Biden so I judge this ingredient is it's moved to tainted you like the next time and I judge what we saw. Tom is that the mix of corona virus with South Carolina and with the melting stock down. This meant melting stock market. Location off voters to inform what leader will we prefer in a disaster and the leader they made up our minds to choose in a disaster modified into as soon as any individual debuted his mute and in fashion inexperienced. All of that benefited as this trend modified into as soon as appealing all of that 2d. Benefited Joseph Biden. All staunch Matt Dowd on his standpoint with the breaking files when following ABC files mission in Michigan.

This transcript has been robotically generated and may maybe not be 100% appropriate.

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healthyworthyofficial · 4 years

Text

What Novel Coronavirus Is Like In Italy, From Yogi Martina Sergi

Martina Sergi, 29, is an Italian yogi and creator who teaches yoga online, at retreats, and at worldwide yoga festivals. Since March 9, Martina has been residing underneath lockdown in Milan. Italy was the primary European nation to impose a nationwide lockdown because of the COVID-19 disaster. Martina shared her expertise with Women’s Health, to offer us a way of what life is like underneath a lockdown. I stay close to town centre of Milan, the place as of March 15th, there have been 1,750 cases of COVID-19. Italy is among the epicentres of the pandemic, with over 20,000 cases throughout the nation. We have one of many highest COVID-19 death rates in the world not as a result of we now have poor healthcare, however as a result of there are too many instances for the hospitals to deal with. Consider that the general public who die are over 70, and in Italy, we now have a excessive share of aged residents. On March ninth, Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte ordered a nationwide lockdown, requiring individuals to remain residence and keep away from nonessential journey. When I return residence from the grocery retailer, I go away my sneakers exterior. I put on the identical pair of sneakers each time I'm going out. After opening the door to my condominium, I clear my fingers, keys, and cellphone with alcohol, then take away my plastic gloves and face masks. I throw the gloves away, however I take advantage of every masks greater than as soon as as a result of there’s a scarcity. Even although there was some dialogue about whether or not masks are obligatory, most Italians put on masks exterior. After I take off the gloves, I wash my fingers. If my canine, Dobby, and I are coming back from a stroll, I even clear his paws. Every time I'm going exterior or deliver one thing new into the condominium, I consider locations the place the novel coronavirus may very well be hiding. It’s like a job. We solely had about two days to organize for the lockdown, however we knew issues had been altering even earlier than it was introduced. Two weeks in the past, my boyfriend Danilo acquired a message from his firm instructing him to do business from home, like many different individuals in workplace jobs. On Saturday, March seventh, we began studying a couple of potential lockdown within the newspapers, after which the lockdown began that following Monday. The COVID-19 numbers had been growing so rapidly, it was the one factor the federal government may do to attempt to include the unfold.

Daily life has fully modified for the reason that lockdown went into impact.

Aside from grocery runs and canine walks, we haven’t left our condominium in over every week. I believe our cat, Lepi, is completely happy about it, as a result of he’s a really cuddly cat who likes to have us round. READ MORE: COVID-19 Update: What To Do If You Start Experiencing Symptoms Danilo and I nonetheless go exterior, however solely when we have to. Whenever you go exterior, it's good to carry a chunk of paper referred to as a “self-certification for travelling and commute,” so if the police cease you, you possibly can show you will have a cause for being exterior. You fill out the form on-line and print it out. That cause could be both shopping for meals or drugs, strolling your canine, or going to work, when you've got a job that requires your bodily presence. I'm not positive what occurs in case you don’t have the shape with you, however if you're exterior with no good cause, you could be fined as much as 206 euros , and go to jail for as much as three months.

Pharmacies and supermarkets are the one locations allowed to be open to the general public.

Some corporations are nonetheless open however they should take precautions, and a few eating places are nonetheless delivering meals. When you go to the grocery retailer, they solely permit a sure variety of individuals inside at a time, as a result of it's good to keep a minimum of one meter away from the opposite consumers always. I attempt to keep even additional away. So you go, you get in line exterior the shop, and you retain your distance whereas ready. I at all times put on a masks and gloves. Not everybody makes use of gloves, however since Danilo is diabetic, we’re very involved about him catching the coronavirus. I attempt to buy groceries as soon as every week, and purchase the whole lot we’ll want so I don’t want to return. Before the pandemic began, I'd buy groceries each two days and purchase much less, however to be an excellent citizen proper now, it’s necessary to go much less often. Danilo doesn’t go to the grocery retailer as a result of he’s at excessive threat for issues from COVID-19. Instead, he tries to go exterior a minimum of as soon as a day to stroll Dobby. Usually, they go later within the night, when there are even much less individuals exterior.

I’m not scared after I go exterior as a result of I do know I’m cautious.

I’m largely petrified of different issues, like when that is going to finish. It’s okay to do that for a month, however is that this going to final three months? How lengthy is it going to be? A couple of days in the past, the parks had been nonetheless open, however now the gates are closed as a result of individuals had been going there to hang around. I used to be studying that as a result of so many individuals aren’t following the foundations, the federal government is contemplating introducing much more restrictions, like a potential curfew. Because individuals aren’t following the foundations, I’ve been posting on my Instagram Stories to please keep residence and please respect the foundations. If not everyone seems to be doing what they’re alleged to do, that is going to last more. READ MORE: The New Coronavirus Is More Likely To Be Spread By Pre-Symptomatic People Than Experts Originally Thought None of my household or buddies have COVID-19, however I’m fearful for high-risk individuals like my boyfriend and my father, who's 75. One of my buddies is a nurse at one of many largest hospitals in Milan, the place they’re doing intensive care on the coronavirus sufferers. She’s the one individual I do know who works within the hospitals, so she tells me what she sees. She needs to be very cautious — well being care staff are uncovered to the virus essentially the most of anybody. Because of that, she took the precaution three weeks again to cease seeing all of her buddies in individual. So I’ve been seeing her on FaceTime. Under the lockdown, persons are connecting on-line greater than ever, and never in a faux manner. Instead of “making connections,” it’s extra like discovering connection, as a result of the web is the one manner you possibly can keep in contact proper now. It’s good to see how persons are serving to one another and supporting one another, which I hope will proceed after the coronavirus scenario quiets down.

In order to keep up a way of normalcy, I’m nonetheless figuring out and doing yoga day by day, besides I do it at residence.

I created a bit residence health club utilizing weights, resistance bands, a bar for pull-ups, TRX and my yoga mat. My private coach nonetheless tells me which workout routines to do over FaceTime, and typically I’ll ship him movies of me doing the workout routines so he can verify that I’m doing them appropriately. Usually, the exercises are circuit coaching or weight coaching for 45 minutes. Not everybody is aware of do yoga at residence with out an teacher, so my buddies and I are providing free yoga courses over YouTube Live. Last week, 1,000 individuals tuned in, and regardless that I can’t truly see everybody like in a studio, the connections are highly effective. I’m doing lots of stay chats on Instagram, and searching for new methods to have interaction my on-line neighborhood. Lots of people are sending me questions in regards to the lockdown, like asking whether or not we now have sufficient bathroom paper. We do! It’s a approach to maintain my thoughts busy. I can’t simply do nothing — it's going to make me loopy! Lots of persons are writing to me saying they're cleansing their homes, studying books they by no means learn earlier than, caring for their physique and cooking, issues like that. People are utilizing this free time to do one thing helpful, which is sweet. I do know different persons are providing free courses on-line, and a few locations are providing free book downloads, so there are many people who find themselves attempting to assist. READ MORE: Everything You Need to Know About The COVID-19 Coronavirus I believe Italians are superb at creating magnificence and staying related in these conditions. As you’ve most likely seen on-line, we’re doing lots of flash mobs from our residences. Yesterday, at midday, there was a message going round social media to open your window or exit in your balcony and clap for all the docs and nurses working for us, to say thanks. People did it throughout Italy. We clapped for one minute, all collectively. A couple of days in the past at 6 PM, we sang the National Anthem. On Sunday at 9 PM, everybody switched off their lights, and went to their home windows or terraces with a lighter or cellphone flashlight.

For a minute, all of those lights felt like an indication of hope.

I believe it’s necessary throughout instances of disaster that someway you are feeling related as a inhabitants, so I actually love that about my nation. We’re attempting to remain robust. This article was initially printed on www.womenshealthmag.com READ MORE ON: Coronavirus Health Health Advice !function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s){if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function(){n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments)};if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n; n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0';n.queue=;t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e);s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)}(window, document,'script','https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); fbq('init', '2162521310492989'); fbq('track', 'PageView'); Source link Read the full article

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apathetic-revenant · 7 years

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how proud I’d be (part 2)

continued from here, because what was supposed to be a brief prompt turned into this stupid-long thing that was too big for one post.

It's not my fault.

It is your fault. It's totally your fault.

Dad was the one who threw him out!

And you didn't do a thing to stop him, did you?

He sabotaged my project! My future!

So for that you wanted him dead?

No! No, I didn't want him dead, I just wanted him to-to go away and grow up a little! And he's not dead and if he was it wouldn't be my fault that he decided to do something so stupid!

No, but you could have guessed that he would, without you there to stop him.

So what, I'm supposed to spend my whole life running after my brother, fixing his mistakes?

No. Not if you don't mind letting him get killed as the alternative.

Ford groaned out loud and slammed his head into the desk. It was late- how late, he didn't know, but sometime after midnight- and he still had more work to do before he could sleep but he couldn't focus. The same thoughts just kept going round and round in his head and he couldn't make them settle down no matter how hard he tried.

It's your fault it's your fault it's your fault

His back ached. He'd been sitting here for hours straight. In fact, aside from the occasional bathroom break and the obligatory stonily silent dinner, he hadn't gotten up all day. But somehow he still had barely gotten any work done.

It's your fault it's your fault it's your fault

Stan wouldn't have let him work this long. Stan would've said something that would make going to bed seem reasonable, instead of like giving in.

But Stan wasn't here.

It's your fault it's your fault it's your fault

Please explain, in a short essay, why you should be accepted as a student to this University, the paper in front of him said.

“I shouldn't,” Ford said to the achingly empty room. “I'm a terrible person.”

He buried his head in his hands.

“I don’t open until ten, so we’ve got a bit of time,” Rory said as they walked up the hill from the docks to the lighthouse. “You hungry?”

Stan’s stomach naturally chose that moment to growl loudly. He nodded sheepishly while Rory laughed.

“I figured as much. Alright, I’ll make us some pancakes, and then I’ll give you a quick look-round.”

The museum was comprised of the old lighthouse, the building next to it-two stories plus a little attic apartment where Rory lived-and an outside area with a garden and some old maritime equipment accompanied by instructional plaques. The town itself was small and quiet but it was on the way to lot of bigger places up and down the coast, so the museum saw a decent enough amount of people in the summers, usually looking to take a break in the middle of their road trip.

Rory explained all this as he made pancakes one at a time in the apartment’s tiny kitchen. Stan tried not to wolf down his stack too quickly, still feeling on tenterhooks, ready for this whole thing to fall through if he stepped out of line. It was hard, though; there had not been two days’ worth of food on the Stan o’War by any stretch of the imagination. At some point he had gotten so hot and thirsty and generally miserable that he didn’t even feel hungry anymore, but now it was starting to come back with a vengeance.

Rory seemed more amused than offended by Stan’s table manners, though. “I see I’ll have to go grocery shopping,” he said as Stan polished off his plate, which had been piled considerably higher than Rory’s. “There’s not much here. Been a mighty long time since I had an appetite like that.”

“Oh...um,” Stan said, feeling low. “You don’t have to-”

Rory waved him off. “I said I’d put you up and I intend to. Don’t fret about it. Now, you want to see the place before we open up?”

The museum was something of a motley collection; it was mostly concerned with local maritime history, but there was also a small section on American history, and one dedicated to the ecology of the region, with maps and taxidermied wildlife and plants pressed behind glass, even a little diorama. Stan liked that section the best. He gave the stuffed stag a friendly pat on the head as they passed.

Rory begged off taking him to the top of the lighthouse for the moment- “It makes these poor old bones ache enough as it is running groups up there three times a day”-which was perfectly fine with Stan, who truthfully did not want to have anything to do with something that high up. They did look around the rooms at the bottom, however, which were set up as they would have been back when the lighthouse was in operation and had a keeper living there.

“Here we go,” Rory said, opening a door with an Employees Only sign hanging on it to reveal a dusty room crowded with boxes. “I’ve been using this for storage, mostly, but I can clear it out for you. Bit small, I know, but it’s a place to lay your head.”

Stan was too busy being relieved that he didn’t have to sleep at the top of the lighthouse to care about how big the room was.

Together, he and Rory cleared out the room, and Rory located an old army cot, some bedding, a lamp and a couple of empty crates for general furniture purposes. By the time they were done it was nearly ten o’clock.

“I won’t ask you to do anything today,” Rory said, dusting himself off. “I reckon you’re worn out as hell, and anyway I gotta open right now and I don’t have time to show you the ropes. So you take a nap, get yourself hydrated, and heal that sunburn, and then we’ll go over things over the weekend and you can start working on Monday. How’s that sound?”

“Amazing,” Stan said, flopping down onto the cot with a groan. He was asleep almost instantly.

Rory smiled and closed the door gently before going to open the museum.

Things went well at first.

Stan cleaned the museum, sweeping and dusting off the exhibits, weeded the garden, ran errands in town, carried things, helped Rory sort through papers and artifacts, and in general did whatever odd tasks came up that Rory couldn’t do or didn’t have time for. It was, as promised, hard work, but he was determined to do it right. He had screwed up enough already; he wasn’t going to waste this last chance.

In fact, things went so well, so suspiciously well, that he found himself tensing up, waiting for the other shoe to fall. Something was going to go wrong sooner or later.

It was on a rainy Sunday afternoon two weeks in that Rory asked him to help catalogue some old letters.

“Just go through them one by one and write down the date, who it was from, and who sent it,” he said, setting the box down on the overcrowded desk in the back room. “If you can’t make something out, just put a question mark down. Easy enough.”

And it should have been easy enough. Except the letters were faded with age and the writing was old-fashioned and curly and Stan couldn’t make any of it out.

He started to say, “Ford, I need to borrow your glasses,” but only got as far as “Ford-” before he realized.

“Everything alright?” Rory called from the other room.

“Yeah, yeah,” Stan said hastily. He couldn’t ask for help on something as stupidly simple at this. He couldn’t.

But Ford wasn’t here and the papers were a blurry mess and the longer he sat there the more his stomach churned because this was it, this was where things went wrong, Rory wasn’t going to keep anyone on who couldn’t even read, he was going to get kicked out all over again-

“Stan?”

He jumped. He’d been squinting so intently at the letter in front of him, he hadn’t even noticed Rory come back into the room.

“Stan, you alright? Are you having trouble with something?” Rory looked over his shoulder, and Stan couldn’t think of anything to say but he had to say something.

“I...I can’t see them,” he mumbled.

“What?”

“I can’t see the letters I’m sorry!”

He closed his eyes and waited for the blow.

There was a dreadfully long pause, and then Rory said, “Stan...you need glasses? Is that it?”

“I...I...no, my eyes just aren’t real good is all.” He really wanted this to be over already.

“Yes, that’s...usually why people need glasses,” Rory said, sounding bemused. “It’s hardly anything to be ashamed of-”

“I don’t need them, though,” Stan said. “I mean, not like Ford...I mean, I did have ‘em when I was a kid, but they kept getting broken and they’re expensive so Dad wouldn’t replace them that often so I just...stopped wearing them most of the time. I’m not...I wasn’t the one who needed to do a lot of readin’ and stuff so it was okay.”

He finally got up the courage to look up, but Rory didn’t look angry. He mostly looked confused.

“I thought you and your brother were identical twins,” he said.

“Uh...we are. Well, ‘cept Ford has more fingers, but that’s some kind of genetic thing-”

“So you should have the same eyesight, surely?”

Stan shrugged.

“But only Ford got glasses?”

“Ford needed them more-”

“Alright, you know what?” Now Rory sounded angry. Stan tightened his shoulders. Here it came. “Let’s just put these letters aside for the moment, okay? They’re not urgent, I just thought it would be a good task for a rainy day.”

“I’m sorry,” Stan mumbled.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Rory said crisply. “I’ll get you something else to do and tomorrow afternoon we’ll close early and go to the pharmacy.”

It took Stan a moment to realize what he meant. “What-but I can’t ask you to-”

“You’re not asking, I’m saying.” Rory stacked up the letters and put them neatly back in the box. “I can’t afford to get you a real prescription pair, I’m afraid, but we can probably find something that will help you get through the summer.”

“But-but-”

“C’mon, let’s take a break. I could use a cup of tea.”

Stan picked out the pair of glasses that looked the least like Ford’s. He didn’t wear them all the time-he didn’t like the little shock he always got when he caught his reflection-but it was nice to be able to read things if he needed to.

With a little bit of the first paycheck Rory gave him, he bought some comic books from the newstand down by the grocery store and read them in his room at night.

He wondered if Ford was following the same stories, somewhere that felt very far away.

Ford had stacked up all of Stan’s leftover comics, organized by issue and title just like Ford had always kept his own, and put them in a box under the bed.

By sheer force of habit he bought their favorite titles when they came out for the month, and only realized what he’d done when he got home. Not knowing what else to do, he put Stan’s in the box under the bed and threw his own onto the desk in disgust, where they sat unread, slowly getting buried under his work.

The next month he did it all over again.

By late June, Rory started having Stan run the museum’s tiny gift shop occasionally. This led to some discussions about business practices.

“You’re so nice to the customers,” Stan said one afternoon after Rory had given someone a refund for a t-shirt that didn’t fit right.

Rory looked up from the cash register. “Is there some reason I shouldn’t be?”

Stan shrugged. “My dad always said you have to be firm with people from the start or they’ll take advantage of you.”

Rory took a deep breath and tapped his fingers on the counter for a minute. “Well,” he said eventually, “your dad can run his business however he likes, but here we run things the way I want to.”

Stan flushed and ducked his head and went back to sweeping.

“Besides,” Rory said after a short, awkward silence, “no one’s going to take advantage of me. I’ve lived in this town for fifty years. I know everyone’s secrets.”

Stan laughed and carried on, but he mulled over the conversation for a long time afterward.

He should have been happy when the acceptance letter came, but all he felt was...tired.

“So you got in, then?” Filbrick said when he showed his parents. “Is this one of the good ones?”

“It's... it's alright,” Ford hedged.

“Alright? Why'd you settle for alright?”

Because all his applications had been lackluster, because he couldn't concentrate long enough or care enough to make them as good as they should have been, because nothing was going to work out anyway so why bother-

“The really good ones are...expensive,” he mumbled.

Filbrick grunted. “Typical. Your brother-”

“We'll be proud of you wherever you go,” his mom broke in, giving Ford a tight hug.

Sure, he thought dully. If wherever I go happens to come with a lot of cash.

He went upstairs and laid on his bed for a long time, looking up at the posters he'd never taken down.

His fault. It's his fault this happened to me.

It's his fault I can't feel anything about it.

“Stan, how would you feel about giving a tour?”

Stan froze. Then he realized the problem with this, finished putting the box he was holding onto the shelf, and re-froze. “What?”

“I think you'd be good at it. You're good with people. And you know the place from top to bottom by now.”

“You...you’d trust me with that?”

“No, absolutely not, that’s why I asked you do it.” Rory rolled his eyes fondly. “Look, you’d be doing me a favor. My joints are hurting something awful today. I don’t feel up to all that walking about.”

Stan liked the idea. He’d always enjoyed playing to a crowd. Put him in front of an audience and everything got easier somehow. He worried less about whether people would like him, about whether he was doing things right, about whether he was smart or worthy or really good for anything, because in a way it wasn’t about him anymore. It was almost like he got to be someone else for a while.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll give it a shot.”

The morning tour turned into every tour for the day. Rory sat in the gift shop listening to Stan telling bombastic tales of maritime adventure and introducing every stuffed animal in the ecology section by name, and smiled to himself.

“You did really well with those tours,” he told Stan while they were locking up. “You interested in doing them more often?”

Stan blinked at him. “I did good?”

“Yeah, you were really something out there. You’ve got a gift for that sort of thing.”

A gift. A gift.

I’m good at something.

He rode the glow of that compliment for a week and a half.

The perpetual motion machine that wasn’t had been sitting in the corner of his room all summer, covered by his old jacket so he didn’t have to look at it. He’d never tried to fix it after the science fair, just took it straight home and left it on the bookcase in the corner without ever taking a closer look at it. He wasn’t sure why he was doing so now.

Well, he might at least see if it was salvageable at all. Maybe he could get some use out of it yet. There had to be someone out there who would buy a perpetual motion machine.

He took it apart, carefully, bit by bit, laying the parts to the upper mechanism across his desk before opening up the top. He expected...he didn’t really know what, but some kind of evidence of sabotage, at least. Smashed parts, gum in the works, something that would speak to the hand of Stan at work. But in fact he saw...nothing. Nothing appeared to be out of order at all.

With some careful work with a penlight he finally found the culprit: one small but crucial fuse that had shorted out. It took less time to replace it than it had to figure out what was wrong in the first place. He put it all back together, started the machine, and leaned back and watched dully as it worked perfectly.

So.

It was...technically possible that Stan had deliberately damaged the fuse. It was just extremely unlikely. If Stan wanted to break something, it would be very obviously broken. Careful, precision sabotage was not remotely Stan’s style.

It was much more likely that Stan had been telling the truth about it being an accident all along.

Ford put his head down on his desk and watched the device spin around and around.

He still damaged it and didn’t tell me about it. He admitted to that. Doesn’t it come down to the same thing, really?

Not if he didn’t think it was damaged. If he didn’t think there was any reason to say anything-

But he should have! He should have said something, he knew how important this was to me, he shouldn’t have taken the chance-

You didn’t say anything to him when he was asking you for help. And you knew damn well how important that was to him.

Around and around…

Stan was sitting on his cot reading when there was a knock at the door. He’d gotten more used to this over the course of the summer, but it still always surprised him a little. Back home no one had ever bothered to knock before coming in their bedroom, or anywhere else for that matter.

“Uh, come in?”

Rory entered and sat down on the lone chair that had found its way in there. He was rubbing his hands against his knees, something Stan had noticed was a nervous tic of his.

“So,” the old man said, “we’re getting near to the end of the summer now.”

The dread hit Stan like a sledgehammer. He’d forgotten. He’d been enjoying working at the museum and he’d started to take it for granted. He hadn’t noticed that summer was draining away.

“Here’s the thing,” Rory went on. “I would love to keep you on, Stan, I really would. You’re a good worker and I’ve really come to enjoy your company. You liven up the place, y’know?” He chuckled a little sadly.

“But the fact of it is I’m just not going to have the money. Once the season ends we won’t get a lot of activity. There really wouldn’t be that much for you to do anyway, to be honest.”

Stan nodded, trying not to betray his panic. This was it. He was going to get kicked out all over again. This time he really would have to start making it on his own.

“But like I said, you’re a good worker and you have a gift for engaging people and it’d be a damn shame for that to go to waste,” Rory said. “And I...I don’t want to just leave you in the lurch, you know.” He took a deep breath. “So I called around, and...I may have found an opening for you.”

Everything in Stan’s head screeched to a halt.

“Friend of mine up in Maine runs a place, bigger than this, with a lot more...erm...theatricality. Reenactors and such, you know, and he does all kinds of events...it sounded like it’d be a good fit for you and he’s willing to give you a chance-oof!”

Stan launched off the bed and cut Rory off with a huge bear hug.

“Heh. I...take it that means you’re interested?” the old man said after recovering his composure.

“Thank you,” Stan whispered.

“Well, don’t thank me yet. It’s up to you to make it work out. But, you know, I have faith in you, Stan.”

Stan finally pulled back, running a hand across his eyes.

It was...going to be okay.

More okay than he even had the right to expect.

“I...I really can’t thank you enough,” he mumbled, looking down at his sneakers. He didn’t understand what he had done to deserve all this.

“Well...there is one thing you could do,” Rory said.

Stan looked up at once. “What? Anything. Anything you want-”

“Call your brother.”

Stan stopped mid-word. “Wh...what?”

Rory leaned back in his chair, rubbing one hand along his jaw thoughtfully.

“I’m not gonna say you have to settle up with your whole family,” he said. “There’s...a lot to work out there, and maybe you want to give that a shot, but if you don’t, well, you don’t. Heck, I ain’t even saying you have to settle up with your brother. But...the way I’ve heard you talk about him, it’s clear to me there’s a lot of love there. And that’s worth hanging onto, if you can. But the longer you wait, the harder it’ll get to work things out.”

“But...but…” Stan swallowed hard. “But he turned his back on me! He left me to hang! And I…” He clenched a fist around the fabric of his shirt. “And I...ruined everything for him. How am I supposed to fix that?”

“Aye, well...sounds to me like you both made some stupid mistakes,” Rory said. “But you know, everyone does. Making stupid mistakes is what being young is for. It ain’t right for that to eat up the whole rest of your life.”

Stan twisted his shirt back and forth. “O...okay but...but even if I wanted to make up, he wouldn’t! He was glad to get rid of me!”

“I imagine he was angry and hurt and not thinkin’ real clear at the time,” Rory said, rather dryly. “It’s been a long summer since then. He might very well have changed his mind.”

He waited patiently while Stan sat there twisting his hands into frantic knots.

“But...what if I call home and Dad picks up?” he said finally. “I...I can’t talk to him. I haven’t...I haven’t made back the money and he...he…”

Rory considered this for a moment. “Tell you what,” he said. “I’ll make the call, and ask for your brother, and then hand the phone off to you. That way you won’t have to talk to anyone but him.”

Stan thought about this for a long time.

It was a terrifying prospect. He didn’t know if he could do it. He honestly didn’t know if he wanted to do it.

But the old man was asking this of him, after giving him so much.

“Alright,” he said at last. “Alright...I’ll do it.”

Rory grinned hugely and slapped him on the back. “Attaboy! C’mon, I tell you what. Get through this and then afterward we’ll go out to Marcie’s. Deal?”

Stan grinned back. Marcie’s was the little ice cream parlor downtown that made banana splits to die for. “Deal.”

(continued some more)

#gravity falls #gravity falls fanfic #fanfic #scribulations #torturing Ford for fun and profit #also kids please don't try sailing away from all your problems in a boat you more or less built yourself #it is unlikely to end this well for you

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