it's always funny when you see stuff that is so obviously preemptively written to ward off Posting. the most overt manifestation is marvelesque lampshading of cliches ("hey isn't it stupid that we were saved at the last minute?") but there's other types of it. there's writing that addresses criticism in-text (Marvel Lady #24 owning a hater who says that Marvel Lady #24 is antifeminist) or fan responses like shipping (that one plotline in bbc sherlock that shows moriarty/sherlock shippers as weirdos nobody likes) or even stuff like worrying the reader won't understand the characters (EVERY instance of characters using therapyspeak in a story.)

to the insecure artist, the shadow of the Poster looms large over them. they can never mentally escape the fear that someone, somewhere, may be making memes about how their art sucks. and you know what? that's just beautiful

little t&a (gene/paul, nc-17) (part 28 of 29)

part 1   part 2   part 3   part 4   part 5   part 6   part 7   part 8   part 9   part 10   part 11   part 12   part 13   part 14   part 15   part 16   part 17   part 18   part 19   part 20   part 21  part 22   part 23   part 24    part 25   part 26   part 27   part 28   part 29

Four weeks before KISS gets back on tour, Gene discovers that Paul’s been cursed by a groupie. For the sake of KISS’ finances, Paul’s comfort levels, and Gene’s libido, this crisis must be resolved. Sexswap fic. In this chapter: Gene and Paul finally go all the way.

Within ten minutes, Gene was splayed on his stomach on the bed, eating Paul out almost ravenously. One of Paul’s bare feet kept rubbing up and digging into his back with every lick and suck, encouragement Gene didn’t even need.

The musky scent and taste of him was intoxicating. Gene felt like he could bury his face in Paul’s pussy forever. Paul didn’t seem to be averse to that, legs shifting, thighs tightening mercilessly around his head. Strangled little cries were giving way to sharp screams. Paul had started off clenching the covers again, but his hands had found their way to Gene’s scalp before too long. He wasn’t digging in as hard as last time. Closer to petting, really, telescoping Gene’s whole world, each touch, each sensation, down to just Paul. It was a real effort to lift his head—Paul grunted in protest immediately—and really take a good look at how unraveled Paul was getting. 

His skin was flushed, eyes half-lidded and so heavily dilated they were practically black. Hair already a mess. Chest heaving. He should’ve looked more vulgar, obscene, even, but somehow he didn’t. Paul almost looked sweet. He still had a bra on. It wasn’t the one from the day before; it was the cream one he’d gotten from that first boutique, the day they’d both bought punk outfits for CBGB. Gene reached beneath it, pushing past the tiny bit of lace edging to cup and squeeze one breast. Paul jerked, hips twitching forward in a quick spasm.

“Take it off,” Gene murmured. Paul sat up only enough to unhook the bra. He cast it aside, then reached down, hands returning to Gene’s hair. “You already look ravished, did you know that?”

“Just get back down there.”

“I mean it, though. I like seeing you this way.”

Paul’s face scrunched up, and instead of answering, he grabbed Gene by the head and shoved him back between his legs. Gene took the hint.

--

Gene got him through two orgasms with just his mouth and fingers. Paul’s legs felt like jelly by the end of it, and yet the oversensitivity he was accustomed to after a round wasn’t there at all. Just like before, he could definitely go again.

Gene had been warming him up to it; he knew it. Getting him ready. He was soaking wet still no matter how much Gene had lapped away at his pussy. Way wetter than he’d ever gotten alone. His clit was swollen and tender, nipples hard. At some point Gene had stripped down to his boxers, and now Paul was tugging them down, too, working at his dick as soon as they were off. Gene was on top of him, heavy against him, swearing softly under his breath with every stroke of Paul’s hand.

He was thinking about his first time. The real one. He’d thought that after, everything would be different.  He  would be different. More confident, more self-assured. But then he’d gone home, and realized he was still sleeping in the same bed, and still waking up to the sound of Ericka squalling in the crib. Still haunted by the same fears. He hadn’t changed. Nothing had shattered or expanded his worldview. He was still Stanley Eisen. He’d just gotten laid, that was all.

Now it was going to be different. Things were going to change. Even best case scenario, things were going to change. The drawing and the photo and all those clothes were going to be about the only physical reminders of the last several days. They’d go back on tour, and...

“You okay?” Gene’s expression was mildly strained. Probably because he’d stopped jacking him off. Paul figured he’d get him off early and delay everything another fifteen minutes at least if he wasn’t careful. Part of him didn’t want to be that careful. 

“Just thinking.” He exhaled softly. “I guess I kinda wanna apologize. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You’re doing great.” Gene’s eyes darted to the nightstand. “Paul, did you want to use a condom—”

Paul flinched and shook his head.

“Really?”

“I don’t like the feel.”

“I don’t either, but—”

“Besides, I’m pretty sure we’ve ended up with all the same V.D.s as it is.”

“I was more worried I might get you pregnant.”

“How would you—oh.” It took a minute for the realization to connect. Paul gnawed on his lip. “I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.”

“Did she say?”

“No, but—” Paul cut himself off abruptly. This wasn’t the conversation he wanted to have with Gene right before sleeping with him. “If having sex once gets rid of the curse, that doesn’t leave any room to get pregnant.”

Gene nodded, though he still looked a bit wary.

“Besides, you’d take responsibility, right?” Paul said wryly. “Your mom’d be thrilled at you finally knocking up a nice Jewish girl instead of a Gentile—”

“Paul, I fucking swear you’re making me want to get that condom.”

Paul snorted.

“They’re at the very back of that drawer.”

He was surprised that Gene didn’t immediately go digging through the nightstand. More surprised when Gene shook his head instead.

“If you’re down to go without it, I am.” 

“All right.”

Give yourself up, Carol had said. He’d thought he knew what she’d meant. Letting him. But that wasn’t the whole of it. Letting his guard down. Letting himself get close enough and vulnerable enough to be hurt.

(give yourself up)

(give yourself up)

“I love you, Gene.”

Something seemed to shift. Paul wasn’t waiting on an answer in kind. It wouldn’t have been fair to expect. But Gene’s gaze on him seemed to get warmer. Gene’s lips pressed against his, hot and fervent, and almost more than he could bear. Gene’s hands coursed over his body like he was trying to memorize each inch of skin, leaving Paul almost too overwhelmed to respond at first. But he got there. He got there. His fingers traced over the muscles of Gene’s back, stroked down his chest as Gene’s mouth found his collarbone, kissing and nipping up the left side of his neck. Paul wanted a hold on him. He’d thought he was over being so hopeless, thought he was willing to let the cards fall as they might, but every touch rekindled his own desperation. He wanted some meaning, some sign that this wouldn’t be the last time. That there really would be something between them after. That Gene could still see him as someone worth wanting once this body was gone.

Gene rubbed the head of his cock against Paul’s slick folds, sending a shiver of anticipation straight through him. Paul started to tilt his hips into it, encouraged but nervous all at once. He’d had such a poor time trying to penetrate himself alone. But he felt like he was more open now, clit swollen and throbbing slightly, all the blood feeling like it’d long since gone straight between his legs and stayed there. Gene was looking at him for a go-ahead, and when Paul nodded, he finally began to push inside him, dissolving all the space between them. Paul’s breaths hitched, expecting more pain than he felt. It stung at first, enough that his eyes watered briefly, despite how wet he was, how much Gene had worked him up. The weirdness of the sensation, being stretched and filled in a way he never had before, still made him tense up, and he cursed softly. Gene’s eyebrows were knitted.

“You all right?”

“Yeah. Go ahead.”

“You’re really tight, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not. Keep… ngh, keep going.”

Gene nodded, but he still looked a little wary. Paul took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves, get accustomed to the feeling, and after a few seconds, some of the pressure seemed to subside. His body was starting to not just accommodate Gene’s dick, but welcome it in. Faint sparks of pleasure coursed up his spine, and he started to wriggle his hips, trying to chase that sensation. He’d had his legs splayed flat against the bed to start, unsure of what to do with them—which was pretty stupid, honestly, given how many girls he’d had—but now he was shifting, wrapping his legs around the back of Gene’s thighs. Trying to tug him tighter in, get all the contact he could. Gene’s first thrusts were a little slow and shallow, uncertain. Paul could feel Gene’s gaze on him, the mix of concern and need all over his face. He reached up, tugging Gene down by the shoulder for another kiss and a little more reassurance.

“Gene, I’m okay. Keep going,” he repeated, breathing unsteady. “’M not made of glass here.” His other hand found Gene’s, braced against the mattress. Paul grabbed his wrist, and when Gene raised his hand, Paul took it, locking their fingers together, squeezing his palm.

“You got quiet on me. I want to make sure you’re feeling good.”

“I am. Promise.”

“You’ll tell me?”

Someone as sex-obsessed as Gene worried about his performance. At any other time, it might’ve been hilarious. It still was funny enough that Paul crooked a smile, although it made him feel a little heady, too.

“I’ll tell you. Now c’mon.” Paul untangled his legs from around Gene’s, raising them up and then locking them around Gene’s waist instead. It felt more secure there, the angle at least seemed better, maybe tighter, almost. Another thrust confirmed it. Paul moaned, grip on Gene’s hand tightening, cursing, encouraging. It wasn’t anything like being fucked as a guy, though he hadn’t expected it to be. It honestly felt a lot better. More nerve endings, much less resistance, something. He didn’t know. He was clamping down on Gene’s dick unconsciously, with Gene panting above him, his thrusts deeper and faster as the pressure mounted.

Gene squeezed his breast with his free hand, making Paul let out another sharp cry. Gene’s forehead was drenched in sweat before very long, his hair sticking to his skin, face contorted. Gene was watching him so intently it should have been intimidating. It was awhile before some of that intensity faded, before Gene really seemed to let go of any more misplaced caution. Touching and caressing and fucking him in a way he’d never be able to again. Paul couldn’t let himself think about that. His nails dug briefly into Gene’s palm, hips jerking of their own accord as Gene plunged into him again.

A day’s worth of fooling around with him hardly made Paul an expert, but Gene looked like he was closer than him. He wasn’t nearly as vocal as Paul, only groaning a bit, but his pace had started to get erratic, the hand in his getting almost as sweat-slicked as his face. Paul shivered. His own pleasure hadn’t been building the same way as when Gene had gone down on him; it was slower, steadier. Gene was following along with every moan, eagerly redoubling on whatever made Paul cry out, but there was some visible strain now. It wouldn’t be long until—

“I’m—please don’t stop, I’m getting there, I swear…” Paul trailed haphazardly. 

“What do you need?”

Gene’s words were so warm that Paul felt like he might burst. Gene had sat up a bit. There was finally a little bit of space between them. Paul wouldn’t have wanted that earlier, but now, taking Gene’s other hand, he realized it might be what he needed.

“Touch me while we fuck. Please, right—”

He couldn’t come out with it. It felt too bizarre to actually talk about any part of his current body, any part besides his breasts. He just grabbed Gene’s free hand, guiding it between his legs, to his clit.

Just the first few strokes of Gene’s fingertips against his clit made him shudder. Gene started thrusting again soon after, somehow invigorated-- he had to let go of Paul’s hand, brace his hand against his shoulder instead to keep his balance, but Paul didn’t mind, his vision starting to swim as he felt himself get to the edge again and again. It wasn’t just the need welling up within him, amped up by Gene’s hand; it went deeper. He felt like he was encompassed by Gene. No. Tangled, entwined with him. For a few brief seconds he was all sensation, no fear, no insecurities, melded with Gene as one. No matter what happened after, that feeling of belonging he’d craved so desperately all his life was right there, right now, with him.

“Oh, oh, fuck, Paul…”

It wasn’t simultaneous, but it was close. He couldn’t feel it when Gene came inside him, but he could see it, hear it in the sudden, softly mumbled curses. Between that and Gene’s fingers still working him, it was enough to push Paul to climax before long, screaming Gene’s name in a ragged syllable. The orgasm seemed to stretch a little longer than the others, leaving him panting against Gene as both their bodies stilled.

“You did so good,” Gene said finally. He was smiling, tugging Paul in close, rolling him to the side. Paul wrapped his arms around him tight, crooked a smile back.

“You were pretty good yourself.”

Gene hadn’t pulled out yet. That was an odd sensation, too, Gene going soft inside him. He liked it. It was like Gene had forgotten who he was with, forgotten they were supposed to have just broken a curse. Like he wanted to keep him there. Keep them together. Paul could hold onto that thought for a long time—but then, he still had his legs wrapped around Gene’s waist, too. It was a few more moments before Paul convinced himself to let go, legs dropping to the mattress.

He was kind of sore, not surprisingly, even in the afterglow, and once Gene withdrew, he could already start to feel some wetness seeping out from his pussy. Come or blood or both. His cheek rested against Gene’s chest, and he waited. Gene’s gaze on him was mild, arms around him steadying, but Paul knew he was waiting, too. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how long it’s gonna be.”

“Paul, don’t be sorry.”

“I didn’t feel anything last time.” He’d meant it to ease any fears Gene might have over him transforming back, but instead he kept going, weirdly compelled. “Well, I thought my nipples were kind of sore the night before, but…”

“But it didn’t hurt?”

“No. I-I…”

“Paul?” Suddenly, strangely, Gene’s expression seemed to flicker. The whole room did. He felt tired, far more tired than he should have. There was an inordinate heaviness to his limbs, his body, one he couldn’t shake off, couldn’t struggle against for more than the moment it took to mouth Gene’s name, just before his world went white.

Some things I could imagine happening between my boyfriend and I’s fursonas and OCs:

1. Fang has his two friends over- Boris and K9- and they’re all playing a dumb game of Truth or Dare. Because K9 “Isn’t a wuss”, he picks dare. Fang clears his throat and asks for a pizza. Already realizing how he shouldn’t have said dare, K9 reluctantly pulls up his phone.

“What do you want?”

“Get us a medium pizza. Split it in half. One side just plain cheese and the other sausage. For Sirus.”

K9 sighs.

“Is that all?”

“Cheese sticks.” Sirus hisses while he stares K9 down and K9 proceeds to hate himself more as he puts that in.

“Are you going to at least share?” K9 asks the two boyfriends, whom are cuddling on the couch.

“No, you owe me.”

And, as usual, Fang was right. That dipshit always owes Fang money.

2. Sirus literally tying into Fang and playing Rocket League while they both wait. Fang has no idea how to feel about this.

3. Sirus tends to fall asleep in a variety of places around the house. Fang finds him napping in the corner of the couch curled up, under surfaces, and sometimes lodged in weird spaces like behind the couch or on the floor, plopped down right where that perfect, single ray of sunlight hits.

4. Fang makes breakfast for Sirus before he leaves to work. He likes to leave sticky notes for him too.

5. Something tells me Sirus’s diet is 5% spaghetti and the other 95% is Fang’s boy syrup (hAh boy syrup).

6. Sirus catches Fang listening to one of his songs. He’s humiliated, super flustered, and flattered at most. Then Fang proceeds to ask him if he’d like to make a song with them. Sirus melts, as per usual.

7. Sirus gets lonely super quickly when Fang isn’t around. Fang works most weekdays, so Sirus is usually home by himself. I feel like to cope with his loneliness, he’d call his friend Styrix over to hang out.

But he’s still lonely.

So he whips out his phone and begins to call Fang. When Fang answers, Sirus whines.

“Fang, honey, I miss you... I’m lonely and it’s been foreverrrr...”

Right in front of Styrix. Poor guy is a third wheel.

8. Fang has flowers in the front yard. Something tells me Sirus waters them if Fang forgets. Something about that is super cute.

9. Fang definitely squish’s Sirus’s cheeks.

10. Sirus blushing when Fang and Styrix begin showing off how impressive their maws are. He just has this dumb obsession with how big Fang’s teeth are.

11. They probably both have a height difference fetish to be honest.

12. Sirus REFUSES to let go of Fang’s tail and probably has gotten lost in it several times. He sleeps with it and is just obsessed.

13. Fang makes a self-deprecating joke and Sirus stops him and makes him eat his words. Sirus makes a self-deprecating joke and suddenly he’s showered with gifts, a fancy dinner is planned and probably some one-on-one sexy time. Nice.

14. Them. Freaking out over Monstercat artists. Essentially my boyfriend and I on that field.

15. I feel like Fang pays Styrix to cash in on his weird shenanigans.

16. If Styrix ever met Boris and K9 and got along with them, they’d all be the chaotic, stupid boy group to constantly annoy Fang and Sirus. Not that they don’t already, just the floor may be coated in soap one afternoon.

17. Boris and K9 are British so that means they don’t exist.

18. Fang and Sirus have like no friends and chronic crippling depression.

19. Sirus definitely likes to get Fang “excited” before important work meetings just for his own enjoyment.

20. Sirus definitely squeezes into weird spaces for no reason. He gets stuck often and needs his heroic boyfriend to get him out.

21. FANG. AND SIRUS. SINGING TOGETHER. ABOUT. THEIR. LOVE. Or just in general, that’s cool too.

22. Fang and Sirus dressing edgy together.

23. Fang is having a breakdown so he dabs on some glittery eyeshadow and sticks on some bizarre long lashes and Sirus walks in and casually asks to be done too. Just to accompany Fang.

24. If Fang is too anxious to check out in a store, Sirus will do it. And vice versa.

25. Fang sitting on the couch and Sirus is curled up around him, napping and purring.

26. Fang’s constant expression is simply just flat out exhausted and angry. His brows are always furrowed and you can visibly see how little sleep he got. Same with Sirus; his face is usually void to most emotion. Suddenly they see eachother and smiles explode on their faces and they become a hugging, kissing mess.

27. They hold hands in public.

28. Fang playing guitar and singing to Sirus during a hill picnic. He’s a hopeless romantic like that.

29. Sirus watching Fang furiously and precisely brush his precious teeth.

30. If any sort of mention of “parent” is brought up, I feel like Sirus would deck somebody on the spot if Fang’s around.

31. Although I do, Fang doesn’t make jokes about his dead parents. Please don’t. His feelings will be very hurt.

32. Fang makes weird fox noises at Sirus, probably.

33. Since Sirus is short, he can probably sit on Fang’s shoulders and purr,,

34. Sirus likes to go get his hair cut and every time Fang freaks out over it and insists taking a few pictures to keep for himself.

35. Neither of them would ever ask for the other’s passwords to anything. Privacy means everything to them.

36. Sirus cheering on Fang deepthroating whole eggs.

37. “E.” “Agreed.”

38. Don’t touch either of them. They don’t like being touched. Funny because nobody wants to be around them anyways.

39. Fang LOVES cooking for Sirus. He will cook anything Sirus wants and do it out of the blue. I can imagine Sirus minding his business playing Xbox with his friends and suddenly Fang walks in with a plate. It has a sandwich on it. He cut the crust off and cut it into triangles. On the side, some cinnamon applesauce. As he sets the food and a can of soda for him down he says,

“Here, sweetie. I made you something to gnaw on. If you need absolutely anything else, let me know, okay?” And he goes and kisses Sirus on the forehead and Sirus is all blushy and everything. Sirus tells him he loves him and briefly explains to his friends his boyfriend’s odd, caring nature.

40. In case I haven’t mentioned before, Fang is super motherly toward his boyfriend and just in general. He cleans and cooks idly like some sort of NPC.

41. Fang, Sirus, Styrix, Boris and K9 all on the floor playing DnD.

“Can I roll to fuck the dragon?”

“No.” - Probably Fang.

42. Fang using a laser pointer to play with Sirus.

43. If alcohol is mentioned you will be bashed in the head by your mom, Fang.

44. Fang casually walking up to Sirus with a broom and several other things in his other hand asking for help making a cover art for a song.

45. Fang humming Sirus to sleep.

46. If Fang doesn’t hear from Sirus in ten minutes tops (nice) he will probably sob in a pillow hoping he didn’t do anything wrong.

47. Spoiler alert, Fang and Sirus never fight and always come to eachother maturely if something is up. It’s usually fixed in seconds but Fang is an anxious mess and wants his precious boyfriend to be happy all the time.

48. Fang hates his birthday and the day it’s on. Sirus goes out of his way to make it enjoyable for him.

49. Styrix texting and calling Sirus at like 6 AM to the point Sirus wakes up and just questions his existence.

50. “I have this pretty bad stomach ache... I don’t know from what though.”

“Mm... Could it have something to do with the fact we cooperatively ate two large pizzas together?”

“Couldn’t be.”

51. Fang is hemophobic. Not so much if he himself bleeds, but if Sirus bleeds as much as a paper cut he will literally pass out.

52. They definitely sing in the car together.

🎶“When you say I’m the only one I must admit it!” 🎶

53. Fang sucks ass at games, but Sirus doesn’t mind at all when it comes to him. When it comes to anyone else, however...

54. Fang’s room is freezing cold so they kind of have to snuggle.

55. Homemade dinner is common from Fang. If you go over to have dinner you’re in for something special.

56. Sirus loves Fang’s food. I’d imagine Fang cooks steak one night and Sirus is hesitant until he tries it. He then concludes he only likes Fang’s steak. (Nice.)

57. Pet names galore. They love gushing over eachother like weirdos and never ever leave eachother alone. They’re so dumbly in love.

58. Fang and Sirus making out on Styrix’s couch and Styrix is just like “This is fine.”

59. Fang and Sirus have Styrix over and say something relatively dirty. Styrix is an innocent, good-looking dumbass and just furrows his eyebrows and questions what’s going on. This is hard for everybody.

60. K9 and Fang are talking. K9 briefly mentions his daughter and Sirus just “Wait, how old are you?”

61. Fang is really closeted. Yet is cool with usual PDA and won’t hesitate to stand up for his homosexuality.

62. Soda.

63. Sirus, a 5’3 petite Canadian Lynx absolutely tops and dominates his 6’1 fox boyfriend.

64. Both of them are covered in questionable marks and scars. They both try to hide it.

65. “You’re adorable!” “No! You are!” And then they make out to make a point.

66. Them eating ice-cream together,,,

67. Their relationship is 40% wholesomeness and 50% other kinky dirty shit.

68. Fang’s closet is just full of questionable things he’d rather only Sirus see.

69. They definitely do this.

70. Making out but, like, all the time.

71. Sirus getting a body pillow that smells like Fang in order to cope with his separation anxiety. Chances are he fucks the pillow- So- That must be interesting.

72. Fang comes home and the first thing Sirus does is ask to be fucked. He sighs.

73. You mention something remotely dirty and Sirus gets a boner somehow.

74. Styrix sitting on their couch and doing something on his phone. He just looks up at Sirus and asks, “What’s a ‘handjob’ and why are they so expensive?” And Fang and Sirus just. Die.

75. Styrix just walks in on Sirus getting beat off from Fang and he doesn’t get why they screamed.

76. K9 getting “kicked out” of his house (he lives with his siblings). Fang and Sirus are snuggling in bed late at night and K9 just. Knocks on Fang’s window and scares the hell out of him. And he just begs to stay the night. He sleeps on the couch in the living room but fails to sleep due to questionable noises. He then begs Fang for breakfast because he likes his food. I for some reason feel like he’d bother the fuck out of Sirus because he’s like that and Sirus just chills in Fang’s room, probably snuggling his body pillow and being horny and just trying to ignore the fact someone is using his Xbox. I mean, not that he cares... or does he?

77. Sirus expressing his dislike toward Amy to Fang while Fang tiredly makes himself coffee. Sirus is ranting while eating his spaghetti and Fang chimes in to wipe the bit of marinara sauce on his chin.

78. Fang and Sirus casually listening to music and suddenly Monochrome Romance plays and Fang just “WAIT” and Sirus just morphs into a tomato.

79. “My aunt wants to come over.”

“Does she know you’re gay?”

“Good question.”

“Should we be worried?”

“Maybe if we take her out to dinner she’ll be too focused on the food to care if I’m being pegged.”

80. Sirus’s gallery is just full of pictures he took of Fang without him knowing.

81. I feel, for some reason, Fang and Sirus have each other’s nudes on their phones so they hesitate giving their phones to other people.

82. Styrix calling Sirus and Fang picks up.

“He can’t talk right now-“ All while he’s breathing uneasily.

“What? Why not? Are you okay? Your voice is all shaky.”

Then he just hears the phone drop and Fang “Sirus!” In the background followed by other concerning sounds. Two minutes later Sirus picks up his phone.

“Can we talk later?”

“Why?? I need to talk now-“

Then he just hangs up and Styrix proceeds to annoy him in every way possible,,

83. What even IS Styrix’s size?

84. (Again with the K9 staying over concept) Sirus walks into the dark kitchen to see Fang making something and he’s all like

“Baby, you left bed. What are you doing?”

“I’m making hot chocolate with rainbow marshmallows for K9.”

Sirus squints.

“Isn’t he our age...?”

Fang just looks over at him with bags under his eyes.

“Yes.”

85. K9 is riding in Fang’s car and Sirus is in the passenger seat. K9 leans in toward Fang through the back seat and he just whines, “Faaang, can we pleaaaase get McDonald’s? I’m hungry...”

Fang thinks about it and flicks his eyes over to his boyfriend. He knows Sirus likes fries. He also likes fries.

“Well, that means I don’t have to cook; but you’re paying.”

“That’s fine! Just don’t get something super expensive!”

It was easy to tell K9 was super excited. As they waited in the drive-thru Fang’s fingers curl within Sirus’s. He somewhat shyly looks up at him.

“What do you want?”

K9 at this point knew Fang only pulled into McDonald’s to feed Sirus but who cares when you have McNuggets.

86. “You underestimate my love for steak.” “Fang, I literally didn’t say anything.” “My original statement still stands.”

87. Fang and Sirus run into K9 in public with his daughter. Fang goes up to K9′s daughter and introduces his boyfriend to her.

“Hey, Maple! How are you doing?”

“Oh, you know.” She fumbles around and crosses her arms. “School... Yourself?” She eyes Sirus next to him.

“I’m fine! Have you met my boyfriend? I don’t think you have. This is Sirus. Sirus, this is K9′s daughter. Her name is Mapleleaf.”

He gives Sirus a hearty smooch on the cheek, Maple giving off a funny smile.

“I had no idea you were gay, uncle Fang.”

“Well, neither did I half of high school.”

88. K9 is on an important Zoom call but Fang and Sirus just begin violently fucking behind him and he just picks up his camera and says “Right, I’m moving out of this room.”

89. K9 playing on the Xbox Fang keeps in the living room while Fang sweeps in front of him.

“Could you get out the way? I’m trying to play Skyrim. This is like, the eighth time you cleaned today.”

Fang stares at him with tired, angry eyes.

“Does it matter? You can’t play Skyrim worth shit.”

“... Is that a no, then?”

“I swear there’s this one speck of dust I just can’t get.”

90. Fang and Sirus are lying awake in bed. Sirus is recording the whole ordeal on his phone and it’s easy to see Fang is very annoyed at the fact his friend K9 invited his brother and a friend over- very late at night.

You can clearly hear them talking and laughing loudly and Sirus can’t help but snicker at Fang’s temper very slowly leaving him. Fang finally gets up and starts putting some clothes on.

Sirus turns his head over to the doorway and watches Fang leave. This is the conversation he hears them yelling.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sirus hears in a deep, stern tone that could have the potential to turn him on probably.

There’s a silence until K9 speaks up.

“Oh, I just invited Boris and Amy over...-“

“Do you have any idea of what time it is?”

There’s another silence.

“It is three. In the FUCKING. MORNING. I wake up at five every fucking morning for work. Did I mention it’s Monday? Do you know how long it takes for my fur to dry? An hour. I work hard every fucking week. I work overtime whenever I can to squeeze in every little penny possible. I cook for you, offered you a place to stay because you have the weirdest FUCKING relationship with your siblings, I give you money that- oh yeah, YOU NEED TO PAY BACK. You owe me about one thousand... ten? Dollars now and I expect it. All of it, every penny of it. I do all this for you and you don’t even let me sleep so I can work tomorrow? This ISN’T your house. This is me and my boyfriend’s house. OUR house. You’re just staying in it. I’d personally appreciate if you could let me fucking sleep so I can wake back up, shower, wait an hour just to dry my fucking fur, put on my suit, make breakfast, and whatever the fuck so I can afford a ring and support Sirus and I’s dreams. The LEAST you could do. Is ASK to invite someone over. The LEAST.”

Sirus has his eyes wide in bed and he’s staring at the doorway. He could hear the living room be dead silent for a hot minute, then an unfamiliar female voice shyly rose.

“Do... do you want me to leave?”

“Whatever. Whatever. Make youself at home, Amy, Boris. At three in the morning. Uninvited. Without me or Sirus’s permission.”

Fang walks back into the bedroom, closing the door. He begins to button his shirt back off and his eyebrows immediately soften.

“Are you okay darling...?”

Sirus snorted and laughed into his pillow.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“You- you just... grew soft so fast... I’ve never heard you be so mad...”

“Mm...” Fang slid back into bed next to Sirus, Sirus quickly returns to his place on Fang’s chest. As soon as Sirus considered stopping the recording, K9 walks into their room. Ah, this is gonna be good...

K9 clears his throat.

“Look, sorry for not asking either of you for permisson, but please... come on Fang, even you usually have some decency when it comes to this stuff-“

“This isn’t your house.”

“I’m not finished!”

“I wouldn’t care if it kept me from getting sleep!”

“Oh! So you care about getting sleep, huh?? Well it sure is hard to tell when I lay on your couch every night to... to hear you and Sirus just FUCKING!! Fucking every fucking night! How do you expect ME to sleep when all I can hear is ‘Aahh! Sirus! Deeper, please!’?! If anything, this is payback!”

Fang quietly lipped at Sirus, “Are... are we that loud?”

“I tend not to pay attention.” Sirus said and shrugged, laughing internally at the two’s arguing.

“Oh, so you do it on purpose? Wow! But you come in and scream at me like you’re my mom that you can’t sleep-“

“I work tomorrow. Get the fuck out our room.”

K9 turns and stubbornly slams their door. Fang completely slides himself free of all his clothes and holds Sirus real close.

Sirus began to purr... “A ring...? You’re saving up to marry me?”

Fang put a finger to the lynx’s lips. “Rest love... rest...”

91. Fang eats ice-cream religiously and his freezer is full of nothing else.

92. Fang wearing a variety of gay looking outfits.

93. Wouldn’t it be cute if Fang owned Monstercat merch?

94. It’s canon Fang’s laptop is covered in Monstercat artist stickers.

95. Sirus is blogging through his phone and walking throughout the house just talking. He walks across the living room to a coat closet next to the front door.

“Uhh, yeah. This is our coat closet, and-“ He opens the door to reveal it’s Fang’s storage for his weird, expensive emo boots, chains, belts and whatever else. He steps inside just to circle around.

“I don’t know what the hell he’s doing... I don’t think I’m interested in knowing how much money went into this but some of these I’ve just never seen him wear... look, we have coats, but they’re...” He pushes other clothes like jackets a little farther up the clothes rack to show that the coats here are old and clearly have been forgotten about. “We only have like, two coats in our coat closet. The rest is just shoes and stuff.”

He stops touching things and starts moving out the door.

“So... anyways, he wants to fix this door, because, for some reason? The doorknob is really weird,”

He closes the door to the closet and shows off the doorknob that looks perfectly fine.

“I told him it’s been bothering me because this doorknob looks different from every other doorknob in this house... I don’t know what we’re gonna do about it because neither of us are very ‘handy’...” He turns the camera toward him while he’s running his fingers through his hair. “I think that’s a gay thing. I don’t know. I haven’t met a single homosexual who can fix stuff...”

96. Fang screaming, “Sirus! Sirus! Sirus! Sirus!!!! Look at me!! Look!!” And Sirus tiredly looks up at him to see him holding a roll of toilet paper. He puts it on top of his head.

“I’m Marshmello.”

97. A picture of Fang holding Sirus by the scruff captioned “Capped me one of those Canadian Lynx bfs”

98. Sirus gets the slightest upset with Fang and Fang is on his knees trying to make it up to his tiny boyfriend.

99. Sirus is showing Fang a song in process. Fang hums.

“Ooh, oh wow! That sounds amazing! And when you add the vocals it’ll be even more amazing! Just one thing though... that reverb is way too wet on the master. Why do you even have reverb on the master?”

Sirus looks really confused, and he furrows his eyebrows at Fang.

“... You... can have too much reverb?”

“Way too much. Turn that reverb down and maybe even consider taking it off the master.”

“I need... it on the master...”

“No, you don’t. It sounds way too wet throughout the entire song. That’s not what you want.”

“I like wet.”

Fang sighs.

100. Why is the thought of Sirus having a potentially thick Canadian accent so hot?

101. I’m pretty sure Styrix doesn’t even know his own sexuality. He’s too busy looking in a mirror to care about that.

102. If Sirus did have a Canadian accent, Fang would beg him to just keep talking.

103. (Again with the accent) Sirus is talking on the phone to Styrix. Fang is next to him, doing work on his laptop.

Sirus looks over at Fang.

“Fang, Styrix is wondering if he can come over to our house?”

Fang pauses for a minute. He slowly smiles and looks at Sirus with loving eyes. He begins to to repeat him.

“‘House’ huh?” Fang said, mimicking Sirus’s accent.

“Oh my god, not this again. House.”

“‘House’.~”

“... House!”

“‘House’.”

“Can he come over or not?!”

“Sure thing, cutie.”

Now Sirus is angy.

104. Neither of them have self-control. I know for a fact Fang won’t hesitate to suddenly and randomly hug Sirus just so he could start feeling around his body. Best thing? Sirus won’t be able to do anything about it. Fang’s got a tight grip on him and now he can play with Sirus’s body as much as he wants.

... Same with Sirus. Sirus may be small but he can still make dirty remarks and fondle with Fang’s crotch- sitting on it, taking off his shirt, any of that.

To be fair just Sirus talking turns Fang on, so. Nice.

105. Fang is snuggling Sirus in bed. He starts to feel him a little bit, Sirus whining.

“Is that poke I feel you?” Fang chuckles, sliding his hand down Sirus’s pants.

“Shame.~”

106. Sirus fake moans just for shits and giggles. In response, Fang pins him down and dares him to do it again.

107. Fang threatens to beat Sirus up for jokes. He takes off his belt and immediately Sirus starts blushing when he’s trying to escape getting hit.

108. Sirus wakes up early to feel a tender, warm rubbing at his crotch along with something a little heavy resting on his leg.

“Sleep well, little lynx?” Fang whispers in a bass-y tone, kissing his cheek. Sirus mumbles.

“What time is it?... What are you doing?...”

“Just thought I’d help you wake up a little bit, kitty.”

“... Why are you so horny...” Sirus squeaks, moving around a little bit.

“Mmh... woke up this way... like the way that feels, sugarplum?~”

Sirus sighed longingly. “Ghh... yeah...”

109. Fang is groping at Sirus’s ass softly on the couch, holding him tight.

“Hey kitty... you’re all mine, aren’t you?”

“Mhm...” Sirus groans, his face snuggled into the fox’s chest.

“All mine... nobody else’s... my lynx... right?~”

“Yes, darlin’... I am... ghh...”

He spanks Sirus softly and listens to him hiss in pain. He rubs the spot gently. Sirus moans.

“I-I am all yours, daddy! I am!”

110. Sirus looking rabid with a chicken leg in his mouth.

111. “Imagine having dead parents, couldn’t be me.” Fang says as Sirus stares at him and watches his eyes tear up.

112. Sirus is being pouty.

“I’m not cute!”

Fang pushes him right up against the wall and smooshes their lips together, making out with him passionately. He pulls back to Sirus blushing and says,

“Yes you are.”

113. Fang is snuggling with Sirus.

“Are you purring?” Fang leans into the lynx, listening to his body and feeling the vibrations.

“... Y... Yes...?”

Fang melts and covers him in kisses. He absolutely LOVES it when his baby purrs.

114. Fang is wearing a blue polo with small, colorful geometric shapes on it. You know, casual clothing.

Sirus squints at him.

“What is your obsession with looking like a bus seat?”

115. Fang fucking Sirus so raw that Sirus can’t move for like, a week.

Home | Victor Von Doom

Pairing: Victor Von Doom x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Request: Can you write something with victor doom? It can be holiday themed or not I don’t care

Summary: your flatmate hates the holidays so he doesn’t celebrate them. You have to go home for said holidays, but maybe home isn’t where you thought it was. Modern AU.

Warnings: slight mentions of fat-shaming, mutual pining, shitty family members, kissing, slight fluff.

A/N: this was fun to write, I don’t think anyone will like it but I enjoyed it.

❆・・・・・❆ ・・・・・❆ ・・・・・❆

Victor had rolled his eyes for the hundredth time a certain afternoon. He didn’t see the point of decorating the apartment for Christmas when he wasn’t even Christian and when you wouldn’t spend the holidays there.

He remembered crossing the living room to enter the kitchen, the sound of your humming making him wonder why had he agreed to live with you in the first place. Contrary to everyone’s belief, you two were just friends. He tolerated you the best, though, his spectrum normally went from you being the easiest person to deal with to Reed being an utter pain in the ass, Tony fell in the perfect middle.

He had heard that stupid carol you were humming so often lately that he had it stuck in his head when you weren’t around. In retrospective, it was the least annoying of the carols and he should be thankful that you weren’t obsessed with the same Christmas songs Stark was. Tony’s taste in music sucked in general, but not even Steve could put up with his weird Christmas themed tastes.

Snatching an apple from the basket, he had leaned onto the counter to watch you from afar. Your chubby form stretched to hang ornaments on the tree was amusing, he had offered to pay someone to do it but you told him that wasn’t the point. He didn’t care for the point, or for holidays in general, the only reason he hadn’t fought you on the topic of ornaments around the house was that he was trying to be nicer and he knew he had to start at home.

Home, he had never had one. Not until you two started working at the same company and bonded over your hatred of overly sweet desserts at a work party. None of you were happy with the place you were living in but it was what you could afford at the time, upon touching the subject you had the idea of being flatmates. Victor had been skeptical at first, but the idea became less annoying when you offered to make a list of pros and cons.

Now the apartment didn’t feel like home, the Christmas tree was adorned perfectly— he even admitted it looked pretty. The gifts you bought him were around it, yet he found himself preferring for you to have been there. He would trade all the gifts of the world for you. You, the person who not once had ever judged him or considered him weird.

Flipping on the tv channels, he groaned every time something Christmas themed appeared which was too often. He was starting to regret telling Tony he would be busy or telling you he was sure he didn’t want to go with you to visit your family. Victor switched the cable programming for Netflix and distracted himself by searching for something to watch, not by watching it because he was indecisive.

Taking his phone, he started typing. His thumb hovered over the send button before deciding that there was deciding wrong with what he was saying.

❆・・・・・❆ ・・・・・❆ ・・・・・❆

You were listening to your mom complain about everything you hadn’t accomplished in life when your cellphone buzzed in your coat pocket. Withdrawing it, you felt your stomach churn for some reason.

Do you have a recommendation for a NON-CHRISTMAS movie on Netflix?

Just re-watch The Office like any normal human being.

Locking the device, you turned your physical attention back to your mom and dad although your mental one was far away. It was back at home, where Victor was probably sprawled on the couch wearing that soft-looking sweatshirt that made him look so damn approachable with a scowl on his face because he didn’t find anything worth his time on Netflix.

The first time you watched a movie with him had been somehow the best and worst experience of your life, he complained about everything and had stupidly high standards. He did that in general too, but you weren’t too different— however, you loved crappy movies.

Another notification broke through your phone. You found yourself eagerly unlocking it to reply.

Are you calling me average?

You chuckled. The truth was you could call Victor many things, average would never be one.

That’s exactly what I’m calling you.

The three dots signaling he was already typing an answer appeared immediately on your screen, making you miss him even more.

You really missed him, how interesting he was, how respectful of your boundaries. Victor had given you in six months the respect your family hadn’t in your entire life, he was supportive in his own way, he hadn’t once made a crude comment about your weight or judged your body type, he listened to you when you needed him, and if he couldn’t help you he would tell you so openly and honestly

“(y/n), are you listening to me?”

You shook your head at your mom’s question without even thinking.

“You never listen to me, that’s why—“ your mom sighed when your phone dinged again. “Tell whoever is interrupting your quality family time to quit it or I will throw that phone through the window.”

Would Lightning McQueen buy car insurance or life insurance?

You pursed your lips to keep yourself from cackling.

Who are you and what have you done with Victor Von Doom? Also, are you watching Cars?

Perhaps.

You tried to imagine him watching Cars, the annoyed sighs that would leave his lips every few seconds, the smartass comments he would make regarding how the world in the movie functioned... it would be funny, and way better than seeing your family glare at you like you had done something wrong.

You had arrived three days ago and the entire time they had thrown every critique that came to their minds at you. They found the fact that you didn’t have a partner insulting, constantly comparing the lives of other family members to yours; they hated your line of work, they explicitly told you you should lose weight and insinuated you would finally be happy that way.

But you were happy. When you were not around them.

❆・・・・・❆ ・・・・・❆ ・・・・・❆

Unceasing knocking woke Victor up, his neck was rigid and his lower back hurt like a bitch. The TV had turned itself off, he didn’t know what time was it and he didn’t care because the knocking was getting louder.

Fixing his hair as he walked toward the door he fiddled with the lock so whoever was knocking would stop. As he swung the entrance open, he couldn’t hide his shock.

“What are you doing here?”

You tilted your head sideways, “I live here?”

He rolled his eyes, moving to the side so you would get inside. You didn’t bother to carry your belongings to your room, not yet. Victor repeated his question.

“I didn’t feel comfortable.”

He hummed, entering the kitchen to put the kettle on. From there, he spoke some more. “So what will you do on Christmas Eve?”

You followed him, leaning on the wall to watch him. His movements usually calmed you in a very weird way. “Annoy you, I think.”

With his hands flat on the counter, he craned his neck to look at you. “How are you going to annoy me? That’s pretty vague.” There was a hint of teasing in his voice, something he reserved for you, he trusted you that much.

You annoyed him with icing cookies and Christmas carols, you made him watch The Grinch and laughed when he agreed with him, you kept the tree lit up the entire day, and you actually made his favorite dish for dinner to not be an asshole. You wanted him to enjoy himself that day too, to find the holidays at least tolerable no matter the type of holiday it was. You knew he never had something similar and it broke your heart.

Putting two glasses of eggnog down onto the coffee table, you sat down on your favorite side of the couch. Victor glared at you, dying to get rid of the ugly sweater you had bought just for him. He had said it was a waste of money, but you saw him hide his laugh.

You were watching Nightmare Before Christmas, Victor insisted it was a Christmas movie and who were you to argue with that? His eyes would shift from the screen to your side profile, catching the twitches on your face when a scene you enjoyed was playing.

There were things he liked too much about you, details he observed in you that he didn’t care for in anyone else. He was unsure about you thinking the same of him, Tony being his helpful self told him a few weeks ago to simply tell you— yet it was far from simple.

He wasn’t being self-deprecating, and he knew he was attractive so he wasn’t scared of rejection because of any type of insecurity and more because you two were flatmates, close friends— was ruining that worth it? Hearing you sing Kidnap The Sandy Claws under your breath, he told himself it was more prone to be worth it.

Victor paused the movie, to hell with subtlety. “Hey!” you complained, glaring at him, “you chose the movie, remember?”

He nodded, “you don’t annoy me, you know?”

“Thanks?” you laughed at the, oh so funnily ironic, annoyance clear in his face. “You don’t annoy me either, Victor.”

He considered the possibility of you playing with him to not acknowledge the meaning of what he had said then immediately discarded it when you continued to gaze at him. “I like you, (y/n).”

“Did Tony pay you to be this emotional or is— oh!” You felt like an idiot for undermining the meaning of his comment at first, it wasn’t until you opened your mouth that you saw the shift in his eyes while waiting to see your reaction.

Oh, wow, now you needed to say something before he thought you were rejecting him. Had you even understood him clearly? Did he mean it as a friend? He had never told you he liked you before! Victor didn’t like people, he either tolerated or despised them— it was one of the things you found so interesting about him.

“When you say like, do you mean it as in ‘I don’t want to kill you in your sleep’ or ‘I would literally kill for you’?“ you half-joked to not embarrass yourself in case he didn’t mean it past something platonic. “Those two are kind of two opposites of the liking spectrum so you should probably consider it, maybe?”

Victor exhaled heavily. “Both, honestly.”

Mouth bobbing open and closed, you fully faced him. “You don’t sound convinced...”

“You’re a little annoying, actually, and doing that thing that everyone finds funny but for some reason I find attractive.”

“Ask a question?”

“Talk too much.” You pursed your lips, nodding. He got closer to you on the couch, his eyes never leaving yours. “This is when you tell me you like me back.”

Nodding again, you got closer to him to narrow the space still existing between his and your thighs. “I like you too, and you’re a little annoying too.”

He hummed, the tip of his tongue coming out to lubricate his lips. “I should’ve let you buy that mistletoe, shouldn’t I?”

You giggled, taking him by the neck to place your lips on top of his. Victor reacted quickly, twisting his body to hug you by the middle as the kiss continued. He was so warm, his familiar smell hitting your nostrils as it mixed with the cinnamon-apple air freshener you sprayed earlier actually warming you in the inside. Soft sighs escaped you both, oxygen getting more needed as the seconds passed. You need to breathe properly as much as you wanted to continue kissing him— realizing that, he pulled away enough for you both to catch your breaths.

His hand skimmed the right side of your torso, the other still placed on your back. The way he was looking at you felt more intimate than anything else you had shared with someone before him, maybe because he wasn’t too touchy-feely or maybe because you liked him too much to not appreciate it. He granted you a smile, so charming and so rare, making you smile back. Victor sighed, the warmth of his breath hitting your face, he truly felt home now, peacefully so.

You kissed his nose, one of your hands moving up to play with his soft hair. “Do you still hate the holidays?”

He snorted. Home or not, the holidays weren’t his cup of tea. “Yes.”

Cornelia Street (7/9)

A/N: oh my god they were quarantined

yes. It’s one of those fics.

AU, obvs

I’m posting as I go and idk how many parts this is going to be, likely won’t be very long but I literally don’t know what I’m doing and should i be starting yet another WIP? definitely not but fuck it lets fucking go

Title is from T-swizzles Lover album, I’m OBSESSED

Summary: Three years ago, Kurt and Blaine went on a disaster of a date and never quite got off on the right foot. Now, just before they graduate from NYADA, there’s a national outbreak and they’re both self-quarantined in a mutual friend’s apartment.

Read On AO3

On Tumblr: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

Part 7

Kurt runs his hands through his hair, shaking off the last suds of his shampoo out of it before shutting off the water. Sara Bareilles’s voice is still leading him to thoughts about Blaine, and how he led him in the dance yesterday with the gentle swing of his hips. 

It had been nice, to say the least. Dancing with Blaine in his arms had felt like he’d finally found the missing puzzle piece he’d been searching for his whole life. Waking up next to a still sleeping Blaine should’ve been awkward, but only felt like the most normal thing in the world, a routine that was way too easy to settle into and—

Shit.

He is in way too deep and he hasn’t even kissed Blaine yet. 

Woah, yet? That’s a little presumptuous of you, isn't it? 

If he’s going to. If Blaine even wants him to.

Kurt needs to stop thinking about Blaine ASAP, but his brain has made it clear that that’s not quite an option at the moment, so instead, he just turns the cold knob on the shower.

He heads to the kitchen when he’s done, and he’s met with the sight of Blaine humming along to Despacito while he finishes cleaning the dishes they’d used for dinner last night. Kurt can’t keep from cracking a smile.

“Having fun?”

Blaine, obviously a little surprised by Kurt’s presence, lifts his head and his mouth twitches up into a grin. “Actually, yeah. I used to hate doing the dishes when I was a kid, but then I got this job at a fast food pizza place. I realized that as long as I was washing dishes, I didn’t have to deal with customers. It sort of pavloved me into liking it.”

“God, that's such a mood.”

“The other explanation is that I’m training to be a fifties housewife.” Blaine shakes his head and makes a face, placing a plate on the drying rack. “Sorry, that was dumb,” he mutters.

“No, it was funny,” Kurt raises an amused eyebrow. “And if we’re going by the fifties’s standards, I suppose that makes me the workaholic husband.”

“Well, have fun at work, honey!” Blaine calls out, face twitching up into a grin as he holds back a chuckle.

Kurt walks up to the door as if he’s going to head out (which, they both know he can’t actually do) and pulls a coat still hanging on the rack by the frame of it. He drapes it over himself and waves to Blaine. “I will, make sure to pick up the kids early from school today!”

“Oh yeah, little Feta has a soccer tournament this afternoon, doesn’t he?”

“Feta?” Kurt raises an eyebrow. 

Blaine shrugs. “Yeah, like fettuccine Alfredo? Alfredo is a valid name.”

“Okay, if you get to name our son that then I’m naming our daughter Audrey, as in Audrey Hepburn.”

“I support that.”

“Now that our kids have proper names, I suppose I should be getting to work, huh?” Kurt asks. “Those taxes aren’t going to file themselves. And I have a long commute from here to the computer.”

He turns to leave, but Blaine laughs and quickly grabs the nearly empty box of cereal on the table and holds it out towards Kurt. “Wait! Don’t forget your briefcase!”

“Silly me! How could I forget, thank you!”

Kurt doesn’t even think about it—he’s too into this strange and weirdly fun game they’ve set up. As Blaine hands him the cereal box in lieu of a fake briefcase, Kurt tucks it underneath his arms and leans forward to press a quick peck to Blaine’s lips. Blaine reciprocates, lightly placing a hand behind Kurt’s neck. 

It isn’t until they pull away that Kurt realizes what he’s done.

They go absolutely still for a moment, eyes locked, neither daring to move any closer or further from the other.

Kurt wonders for half a second if he accidentally crossed a line he shouldn’t have.

And then the next half of the second Blaine’s lips are on his, hands grabbing desperately at his waist, so sudden and intense that the momentum sends them stumbling backwards a little. They don’t stop until Kurt’s back hits the table, and he sinks his hand into Blaine’s satin soft curls. 

The gesture elicits a small gasp from Blaine, who slides his hands down Kurt’s back and tugs so that their bodies are flush against each other’s. Kurt reciprocates, pulls him closer, kisses him harder until they’re just this chaotic bundle of bumping noses and roaming hands.

They finally pull away, Kurt’s blue eyes wide as a prairie because he had wondered if Blaine was picking up on the same thing he was and… well, he certainly doesn’t have to wonder anymore.

“Sorry,” Blaine mumbles, shaking his head with a sheepish smile on his face. “I uh, don’t know what came over me.”

Kurt doesn’t hesitate to pull Blaine back in for another embrace. “Me neither,” he breathes. And in all honesty, he doesn’t really care. All he knows is that this quarantine thing just got a lot more bearable. 

*

“I don’t think you’re playing this right.”

“Nonsense, I used to play this every day at lunch with the New Directions. Cards were easily the best way to pass the time. Santana even showed us this one game called Chingasos… which is surprisingly violent for a card game…”

After making out for… quite a long time (like, a really, really long time, not that Blaine’s complaining), they’d set some blankets down in the living room floor and exchanged card games. 

Kurt is currently sitting across from Blaine, cross legged and explaining the rules of Spits as they play. There are two piles, and the point of the game is to get rid of all your cards by placing them on top of either pile, but only in numerical order. If both piles have the same number card, you could slap the top of the piles, say “spits”, and the opponent would have to take all the cards.

They both place 2s on either piles of cards, and Blaine jumps to press his hands flat on top of them. Kurt has been playing this game for years, though, and is too quick for Blaine, so his hands land on top of Kurt’s instead of the cards. 

“Eat ‘em and weep,” Kurt says with a cocky grin, shoving the pile of cards towards Blaine.

“Isn’t it read ‘em and weep?”

“You’re stalling.”

Blaine mocks a scoff, mostly because he is. “Are you implying that I’m causing a distraction in order to prevent my loss?”

“Okay, nobody talks like that, you’re definitely stalling.”

“No, this is stalling,” Blaine says. He tugs Kurt’s hands and rolls backwards on the blankets, pulling Kurt on top of him and leaning up to kiss him and abandoning their card game. He can feel the smile in Kurt’s lips and can’t contain a grin of his own. 

When they finally release each other, Kurt lets out a contented sigh and rests his head on Blaine, draping his arms over his body, fitting in in every space Blaine didn’t even know was waiting to be filled.

“This is gonna sound weird, and kind of random… but I feel really safe with you,” Kurt says.

Kurt’s head, resting on Blaine’s chest, lifts when he laughs. 

“Heard that, coronavirus?” he jokes. “Actually,” he continues, starting to absentmindedly trace shapes on Kurt’s back with his finger. “It’s funny that you say that, because you kind of make me feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff.” He realizes that may not have come out exactly as he wanted it to. “I mean, like, in a good way. Not in a I’m worried you’re going to push me off way.”

“You’re probably just about the only person I can stand in a ten mile radius, currently, so I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“What about Adam?” Blaine finds himself asking. His heart is a canon in his chest, and he wants to pretend he doesn’t know why he asked that question, but he knows exactly why. 

He’s falling fast and hard for Kurt, and if he runs back to Adam the moment Blaine stops being his only choice, again, it’s going to suck. He’s heard stories about people who got stuck in elevators for twelve hours and then eloped the second they were rescued. And then the inevitable divorce that followed.

Blaine doesn’t want Kurt to want him because he’s bored; he wants Kurt to want him the same way he wants Kurt. 

“Adam and I over for a reason,” he finally replies calmly. 

The urge to just stupidly blurt out Which is? is so strong, and Blaine’s honestly surprised he doesn’t. Apparently, though, his silence is enough of a cue for Kurt to continue.

“I—and feel free to stop me… if it gets too weird or too–if you don’t want to hear this.”

“You can say anything to me,” Blaine answers without hesitation. Kurt’s cheeks pressing harder against Blaine’s chest tell him that he’s smiling.

“Okay… I think I just got swept up in the idea of finally being in a relationship, or of finally having someone who wanted me that I didn’t care if we weren’t necessarily right for each other. I mean, at the time I certainly didn’t have enough experience to know that it wasn’t right.”

Blaine hummed in encouraging agreement, urging Kurt to keep going.

“I think we were both hoping the other would evolve into the person we wanted them to be, if that makes sense. Like, I’m… I’m pretty naturally guarded. I don’t always wear my heart out on my sleeve and I think that bothered him.”

Blaine nods. Though he doesn’t feel like Kurt is particularly withholding around him, he can see why people would think that. Kurt has told Blaine all about what he endured during high school. That would be enough to make anyone a little wary of the world.

“And I don’t know if there are just parts of me I wasn’t willing to share because I’d be sharing them with him,” Kurt continues. “But there were parts of my life—little things, I’m not in like organized crime or anything—that were just for me. I’m fairly social, but if I needed an hour alone after he had friends over, he took it really personally.

“On the other hand, I always thought he took life way too seriously. Every single show or song we listened to had to have some sort of profound deeper meaning or else he labeled it as trash. What an exhausting way to live!”

Blaine chuckles. “I know what you mean. I dated Sebastian for a while, and he would constantly talk about his summer trips to Europe, which was interesting at first but after a few weeks I realized that that seemed to be the entire focal point of his personality.”

Kurt laughs. “Yeah…”

“Anyways, you were saying?”

“Oh, right... well, back in December I was watching When Harry Met Sally with Rachel and it was that scene where Sally says “We never do fly off to Rome at a moment’s notice”. And I just… realized. I went to get things from his place that night and applied to live in the NYADA dorms again for the next semester.

“I guess it was just never right with Adam. It took me way too long to figure it out. I think I might’ve figured it out sooner if we’d finished our date,” he mumbles absently, like he’s just thinking out loud.

Blaine has to bite his cheek to keep from smiling so damn hard.

They lay in easy silence for a moment, holding each other until a high pitched tinny noise interrupts them. Kurt whips out his phone and Blaine sees the Snapchat notification.

“Oh my god,” he sputters out incredulously.

“They really made a Quarantine filter,” Kurt says in awe.

Kurt unlocks his phone and presses the button to access the filter. It’s greyscale, with a blinking red dot in the corner, like it’s supposed to mimic a found footage movie. At the bottom of the screen is written “Day ___ of Quarantine”.

“Come on, let's take a picture,” Kurt says, casually hiking an arm behind Blaine’s neck and settling his head higher up in Blaine’s chest. He quickly snaps the picture of them cuddled up together.

Blaine watches Kurt, grinning when he types out the caption in two separate blocks of text.

Do you have your quarantine buddy? 

Yes, I have my quarantine buddy.

Part 8

615

Christmas is coming. Who are you buying gifts for? Christmas already did come and the most stressful part that is gift shopping is finally over, thankfully. I got gifts for all the members of Gab’s family, save for her grandma who doesn’t like me and who I don’t like back because I don’t go down without a fight lolol. I also got gifts for my mom and sister. When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? I wouldn’t want to show it and so I’d always try to act like my usual self. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? She used to be, and gained popularity for being, in a girl group but she’s already gone solo for a very long time. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? They do this with my sister’s works, because she’s a bigger artist than I am. They’d probably do the same with me if only I was the artistic type too. How often do you wear chapstick? Never. I don’t own one, and I haven’t for like probably a decade now.

Do you walk around your house with your shoes on or do you take them off? Take them off, because I’m Asian. What is the weirdest obsession you've ever had? My obsession with the 80s sitcom Perfect Strangers back in 2011 was not weird, but definitely out of place for the time. I was posting stills of the cast and sharing funny quotes from the show that absolutely nobody could relate to, so I kinda got why I didn’t have much friends at the time or why no one really knew how to approach me. How long can you be in a car before wanting to get out? I can handle road trips pretty well, honestly; I’ve been in 15-hour drives where I can’t say I had a hard time. I’m guessing it’s because my dad would have us go on verrrrrry long road trips, and at some point I just got used to our 8, 10, or 12-hour long drives. Would you rather be in lust or love? Why? Love. Lust is a bit hard to come by on my end considering I’m demi. How many of the seven deadly sins have you fulfilled today? Envy, gluttony, greed, and pride. Should guys always kiss the girl on a first date? Uh, I dunno dude it’s 2019 – you do you. Which band has the corniest music videos? Corniest lyrics? The Vamps has always fucking sucked for me in all aspects. What subject is/was hardest for you in school? I have tons of different classes in college but I struggled the most with fact-checking and economics, which I both unfortunately took in the same semester so it considerably pulled down my general weighted average for that sem. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? There’s a lot of great movie scores out there that have made me want to learn the piano. Do you ever use Pandora? No. I don’t even think they offer that here.

Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? Essays, definitely. I doubt I can do creative writing to save my life. What is the first facial feature you notice on a person? I don’t really look at faces; my eyes usually go to what other people are wearing. When was the last time you were rick rolled? Last night, I can’t fucking BELIEVE IT LMAO. I was on Reddit and saw a popular post from r/teenagers, I had no clue what it was referring to but because my fingers just go around clicking stuff I went ahead and clicked on the post – it gave me the lyrics to the song. Not the music video, but the lyrics. What is the weirdest animal you've ever seen as a pet? I don’t think I’ve encountered any weird pets. Which is good, because most of the time weird = illegal. If Ronald McDonald stole your bed, where would you want to have sex? This is...a weird question... If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? My hair, because it’s wayyyyyy too frizzy. When was the last time you had a 'she-mergency'? Two Mondays ago. I was in a photo studio for a shoot and I realized then and there that my period had started during the trip and that by the time I got there, the crotch area of my jumpsuit was already quite soaked. Which sounds creepier: sleeping in the attic or the basement? I’d find it scarier sleeping in the basement, just because those are less common here and because I know JM has a room in his house’s attic and he’s doing just fine. Do you listen to music while using Bzoink? I’d sometimes listen to music while taking surveys on here. I don’t directly use Bzoink. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? Diner Dash, Cake Mania, and Insaniquarium hahaha. Have you ever tried on your mom’s wedding ring? Yup, and my dad’s. Would you rather travel to a desert or the North Pole? North Pole. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? Yeah, too many. I don’t watch Riverdale, HTGAWM, HIMYM, all the Marvel stuff that became series, etc. Pajamas with feet: yay or nay? I’ll go with, “that’s a thing?” What is your opinion on fruitcake? Leave it. What do you do when somebody tries to make you jealous? I’ve never really felt it if/whenever someone tries to make me feel this way hahaha. I just go about minding my own business. Here's a tough one. Would you rather marry your cousin or a dog? That’s just sick. Did you know that Albert Einstein was a womanizer? No. Who did you last dream about? I forget my dreams easily, so I’m afraid I can’t answer this. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Not really. Which animal can you imitate the best? Dogs I guess, because I have one of my own. How many people do you think you've met in your life? At least more than a thousand, I’m guessing.

Character Opinion: Tamamo No Mae (Fate/Extra)

I just realized I haven’t written some good old Type-Moon meta in a while, but I think I’ve found a topic I really wanted to write about.

Hi I’m Shuttershocky, and I’m here to convince you that Fate/Extra’s Tamamo No Mae was the best thing to happen to the Nasuverse since Shiki Ryougi killed a building.

I’ll admit, Tamamo wasn’t exactly my first choice of servant when I started Extra. All I knew of her was that she was a fan-favorite, fanservicey character well liked for her cheerful personality and ample bosom. A ready-made waifu complete with a ditzy personality and an obsession with getting a husband (but whether that husband is male or not is no concern of hers) was not something that sounded very appealing, since I usually dislike Manic Pixie Dream Girl characters in my media, and certainly don’t like ones dressed as furries. But then she was also the hardest servant to use, thus, liking challenge, I thought I’d have to tolerate what would be an annoying servant.

And then I was proven wrong. Dead wrong. Tamamo was a lovesick ditz, a weak fighter, obsessed with becoming a wife and being seen as helpful and adorable true, but she was also a character with a good amount of depth whose nuances were done so subtly (a lot of it hidden through her own actions) that she often walked a fine line between flat fanservice and having an actual character, deftly balancing herself on the right side. 

See the thing is, Tamamo wants to be seen as a mere waifu. She’s acts sickly sweet and adorable, constantly flirting with and complimenting Hakuno like so 

She even constantly agrees with and validates anything Hakuno says or does, to the point where she’s less of a servant and more of yes-man, to the point where  Hakuno occasionally gets annoyed with her. She sometimes oversteps her bounds and becomes overbearing, and her need to always agree and validate her master tends to oppose constructive criticism that helps Hakuno grow as a person and a master (which the game is, thankfully, aware of. Hakuno’s inner narration often shows Hakuno is aware of Tamamo being a kiss-ass.)

So how does Tamamo differ from all the bland waifus this trope is filled to the brim with? Well, she has a tendency to slip.

For someone who’s supposedly a lovable airhead, she sure doesn’t like the insinuation that she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. It soon becomes clear that Tamamo is very touchy with criticism coming from Hakuno, quickly getting angry if her flightiness and poor fighting skills are pointed out. She would much rather receive compliments on how cute and helpful she is, occasionally even directly asking Hakuno to compliment her after battles. She also clams up as soon as the subject of conversation draws close to her real identity, claiming that its so other masters cannot read Hakuno’s mind, before later admitting its because she’s worried that Hakuno would no longer like her if they were aware of her true name.

As the player proceeds through the game, we get the picture of a character who, for some reason, has become obsessed with making her master’s image of her perfect, to the point where she can be caught contradicting herself. She wants to be seen as a cute ditz in one moment, but a crafty fox with a sophisticated vocabulary that will have you reaching for a thesaurus in the next.  Her master is perfect and makes no mistakes, but don’t worry about that mistake that almost got us killed master, Caster always loves you. She’s a slender, small, weak girl who needs a big and strong master to support her, but don’t worry about the enemy master, because Tamamo is invincible, the strongest on earth! 

At some points, she completely forgets she’s supposed to be putting on an act for Hakuno and instead makes it very clear that she is indeed only acting.

So why? Why is she so taken with the idea of being seen as the perfect wife? 

Her answer is that she just wants someone to love and devote herself to. A weak otaku-bait answer that almost wrecks the amount of work put into her character...

...at first glance.

When the pair have their backs against the wall, Caster reveals her true name. She is Tamamo-No-Mae, the original fox spirit of Japan and once a beloved courtesan and adviser to the Emperor. Her true nature as a fox spirit revealed by a fortune-teller, she was chased by the Emperor’s army and slaughtered screaming on a grassy plain far from home.

Suddenly the player (through Hakuno) is invited to view her in a different light. Tamamo had no idea why she was chased away and killed mercilessly. Perhaps she blamed herself. Perhaps her overly eager efforts are her trying to make up for what she did wrong, for whatever she did wrong. Even if its obvious to everyone that she in fact, did no wrong. 

Still, this would not explain her nearly inhuman form of ass-kissing. There is after all, a difference between sucking up hard and straight up risking your life to do so. It often comes off as awkward, yet another Nasu-ism fans have long since learned to mentally filter, and then we find out Tamamo-No-Mae is not a heroic spirit, but a god. Specifically, an aspect of Amaterasu who became curious at the sight of people worshiping her, proclaiming they loved her. Attempting to learn more about what this “love” is, she descended to earth as Tamamo-No-Mae, and died at the hands of those who claimed to love her.

With that last piece, the picture becomes all too tragic. It wasn’t ass-kissing, it was worship. It’s all she knows, and thus its what she thinks she must do in order to show and receive affection. Her mania over her master’s image of her? She was put to death the last time simply because her true self with her ears and tail did not match the emperor’s image of her. The little slips she makes in her act and her sensitivity to criticism? She is a god, who is far older, wiser, and more powerful than any mortal soul. And yet, she gave herself a weakened body in an attempt to understand the love that was beyond the reach of divine beings, for it was the invention of mortal, fragile lives.

Just imagine; she’s been trying to navigate all that on her own, without access to most of her incredible powers and wisdom, while simultaneously trying to keep her hopeless master alive in a brutal war. And because she’s so afraid of the reputation she carries with her true name, she shuts out the only person who can help her, the person she claims she love more than anything else in the world, Hakuno. 

And the  Pièce De Résistance? Throughout all this, behind all the deception and comedy she brings to every scene, the game still builds a real, true relationship between her and Hakuno. Sometimes her words of encouragement end up lacking the tinge of a suck-up, instead being imbued with an air of honesty. Despite the lies she puts out and the airs she puts on, her heart was always in the right place and she truly cares.

At the finale, when both Tamamo and Hakuno face the empty void, they face it hand in hand, having both reconciled Tamamo’s insecurities of her past existence and Hakuno’s lack of a current one, with Tamamo promising to stay right by Hakuno’s side until the very end.

It would be an understatement to say I found her characterization extremely impressive, especially since it involved walking such a tight line between real depth and waifu trash that a slight mistake (a common sight in Nasu’s works) could push her over the edge and ruin her character, but I think Tamamo was pulled off marvelously. Her motivations are clear, her behavior and methods all understandable and in-character, and, most of all, her characterization was brave.

What do I mean by that? Well Nasu is no stranger to writing strong female characters, but a lot of them are not traditionally feminine (is this the right word? Someone correct me if it isn’t) in their outward traits or behavior, such as the rude, crude Shiki Ryougi or the stone cold Saber. Tamamo on the other hand, is very outwardly feminine. She likes cooking and cute things and hot guys (and sometimes hot girls), she’s not a particularly capable fighter when every strong female character(tm) in fiction is apparently a black belt in 10 different combat arts, she really, really, really wants to be married off and be a housewife and thinks being a hero with demigod powers is a drag.

And she makes it work.

Tamamo also ticks off every box in the checklist for making a terribly flat manic pixie dream girl heroine. She’s unfocused but cute, revolves around the protagonist, is unbelievably kind and sweet but also reliant on the protagonist to get through the day. She’s also quite fond of sex, sometimes laying on the double entrende for Hakuno, sometimes telling them to straight up ravish her this instant (though they never agree to keep the ratings 15+, and, to my pleasant surprise, never show Tamamo in any compromising/sexy poses or anything. )

And she makes it work.

Tamamo defies the conventions of strong female characters (to be fair, anime in general does this way, WAY better than mainstream Hollywood), and that’s fucking great. Women can and should be allowed to be like that, to be whatever they feel like, and deserve to be seen as every bit as badass and valid as the sexless killbots and hypercompetent adventurers that dominate the discussion. And she does all this while being a side-splittingly funny character and a genuinely experienced, confident, quick-witted servant, whose tactical know-how and ability to get under her opponents’ skin proved a great help in winning the war. 

So when I see that the majority of the fanbase know her for her sexy outfits, squeaky voice, and comedic scenes, I can’t help but feel a little annoyed at the thought that they might be missing out on who I think is one of Nasu’s best written characters.

The ironic thing of course being that Tamamo herself would prefer it that way.

just to keep track of this

verbal

insulting things she knew I liked or was insecure about as a “joke”, especially my body

constantly insulting my intelligence and saying that she’s never met anyone as stupid as me, including saying that nobody else did things I did (e.g choking on spit occasionally)

speaking to me in a demeaning way (“go be a good little bitch and do X” “you can give me £xx for that since you’re using it” “know your place, bitch”)

Angrily criticizing me for things that weren’t my fault (and in a lot of cases were actually her fault)

telling me she doesn’t want control of me despite her actions completely contradicting that

calling me a nympho if i showed any kind of sexual interest, and occasionally telling other people that i was to try to embarrass me (like veda/stacey)

yelling at me for petty things like if I got water on the worktop after washing up

calling me a man or saying I was manly to me/others, or referring to me as a troll or a hog

saying i was too sensitive if i said i didnt like her shouting at me/calling me names etc and she was just being “brutally honest” because i wouldnt listen to her otherwise

calling me a narcissist

calling me arrogant if i didnt listen/disagreed with her

saying i had selective hearing when i genuinely didnt hear her say something (she may not even have said it and just been fucking with me)

bringing up ancient grievances at every opportunity (e.g when i gently tried to suggest that she might be a hypochondriac because its not normal to constantly want to go to the hospital)

making threats about hitting me if i did something she didnt like

shouting at me for crying if she’d upset me

deliberately saying nonsensical shit to win arguments since it cant be argued with (word salad)

having to win at absolutely everything and generally being adversarial

telling me that i can do things/that she wont stop me but then getting jealous and angry making it too difficult to continue

calling me arrogant and saying i was deliberately ignoring her if i didnt hear her because i was concentrating on something on my phone, usually followed by threatening to smash it

Telling me I was a cunt

Being deliberately transphobic to try and upset me

Saying my haircut made me look like I had downes syndrome

physical

hitting me for fun and then telling me it didn’t hurt and I was a pussy, even if bruises formed afterwards and were pointed out to her (she just continued to deny doing it or laughed at me)

holding me down and forcing medication into my mouth, giving me a panic attack so severe she thought i was having an anaphalactic reaction and called 999

Forcing me to drink herbal cough medicine that tasted vile because she said it was the only one that worked for me, even when I didn't really have a cough

using her security training to restrain me for no good reason other than to demonstrate her strength, while telling me I was weak

not allowing me to, or making it too difficult for me to make my own food choices leading to me putting on a huge amount of weight

controlling my medication/using it as an excuse to gaslight me (“these meds are making you act like a cunt, im taking you to get them changed” if I said no or disagreed with her, dictating when i took them/what dose i took, telling me certain medications wouldnt work for me because they didnt work for her and that the prescriber didnt know what they were talking about)

picking her stank-ass belly button and holding me down and forcing her fingers up my nose (what the fuck)

biting me hard enough to leave marks

controlling when i was allowed to sleep and getting angry and calling me lazy if i was tired, but also often waking me up throughout the night insisting that i was snoring and had to turn over /go sleep on the couch

forcing me to sleep under a duvet even though i sleep badly with them and making a big fuss if i refused

“jokingly” burning me with a lighter (though not inflicting actual burns)

Sitting on me to the point of restricting my airways

Pulling my hair

sexual

holding me down and sucking/biting my neck painfully hard even when I was yelling at her to get off of me and had warned her beforehand not to do that because i hated it and it hurt me (and insisting that it wasn’t hurting me, then mocking me/being angry afterwards)

deliberately giving me love bites against my will in places i couldn’t hide them, especially if i was due to see my family to try to embarrass me

telling me that it was my own fault for not being relaxed enough if I wanted to stop penetration because it was hurting and continuing despite my discomfort; getting angry/frustrated if I continued to say no/still didnt enjoy it to the point where i had to wait until I couldn't take it any more to get her to stop

saying that the reason I couldn’t orgasm from sex with her was because I masturbated too much and “banning” me from it for months at a time, then accusing me of not following orders and lying to her if i still couldnt orgasm

putting me on a “sex ban” if I didn’t do what she wanted in day to day life

saying inappropriate things to others, including my parents, alluding to our sex life

having inappropriate conversations about my body with the elderly man we were caring for in front of me, despite knowing that he had sexually assaulted me in the past

angrily insisting that she knew what she was doing and I didn’t have to tell her if I tried to communicate about how things felt

insisting that she had brought me to orgasm when she hadn’t, and that she knew because she could “taste the difference” and I must just not have felt it because my body didn’t work right, to the point that I believed her and thought there was just something wrong with me

insisting that “all /none of the other girls I’ve been with were like that” to try and guilt me about things I had no control over (genital appearance etc)

financial

making me spend the weekends (friday to monday) with her but complaining that I used all her electric/water/etc. when challenged about how much it was actually costing she said i didn’t know anything about how much things cost because “mummy and daddy had always paid everything for me”, and wouldn’t stop being nasty/aggressive until I gave in

making me buy her food shopping with my savings /using my savings as a free resource to be dipped in to at any time when she had spent her own money

making me buy her things or contribute towards buying things for her flat (hundreds regularly) through guilt /empty promises of repayment/getting me stuff when i moved out

telling me that I only give a shit about money and that I’m obsessed with it if I tried to say no to any financial demands

pressuring me to pay for holidays for us on the understanding that she would provide the spending money, but using her benefits payment instead of saving up for it so I ended up having to give her more money after the holiday so she could still eat/pay bills

not bothering to pay her bills/debts, knowing that it would worry me and that i would end up paying them off for her

buying me presents I didn’t want or need as a way to control me (either through guilt or just buying me things like tracksuits that she knew i didnt want to wear but would feel obligated to because she wanted to control how i dressed), but then getting the money off of me for them to pay for her bills etc as she had run out

becoming angry if I tried to donate anything she had bought for me, including things like children’s toys that she insisted I needed for my “autism”

pressuring me to buy ostentatious gifts (e.g nintendo switch, televisions) for her niece and nephew, usually in the range of hundred of pounds, and then taking credit for it as if she had spent her own money (her justification for this was that she had already spent all of her own money on presents /food /etc for me)

refusing to save/claiming she couldnt save and was “happy as long as she had a fiver in her pocket” because money didnt matter to her, to the point that she had no savings and my family and i had to help her buy furniture etc for her flat

psychological/emotional

being nasty about aspects of my appearance until I gave in and changed it (e.g piercings, hair)

pretending that she had no control over her temper, to the point that she claimed to have “blackouts” of rage where she would come round having seriously injured someone but have no memory of it

telling me it was creepy that I kept my pets ashes and threatening to get rid of them/saying i wasnt bringing them with me when i moved in with her

accusing me off loving my pets more than I loved her, despite causing me to be unable to bond with them properly due to the constant stress I was under

telling other people embarrassing /personal things about me that she found funny, usually in front of me, to try and embarrass me

smugly telling me “I know you better than you know yourself” at every opportunity and generally eroding my sense of self

belittling my likes /interests and replacing them with what she wanted me to like /be interested in - everything from clothes to food to shower gel to music to who I was friends with

trying to convince me to use sperm donated from a fucking facebook page like some kind of insane person

planning to use me to have a child and then send me off to work so she could stay at home on her arse for the rest of her life but framing it as “you can go have a career and ill take care of the baby :)”

accusing me of cheating on her constantly with anyone she perceived as a threat to my obedience (e.g regan, sophie), despite her being the one constantly texting her exes (which i never had a problem with because i trusted her for some goddamn reason)

not allowing me to make friends with anyone she didn’t like and lying to me about them/their motivations to turn me off of them (she claimed to be a good judge of character) - again, regan and sophie

lying constantly in general but making it so that disagreeing with her or calling bullshit would make my life hell and it would get brought up weeks or months down the line

constantly telling me my breath stank (nobody else has ever said that and my dentist literally said my teeth are perfect last time i went), claiming it was because i only drank water and that wouldnt hydrate me (????) and constantly forcing me to drink tea or lucozade (neither of which i would drink given the choice) in large quantities

constantly talking about her work history and forensic history with a sense of pride(assault with intent, gbh, abh, criminal damage, etc etc) and about how badly she’d hurt people in the past, I think to leave me in no doubt as to her capabilities

warping my perception of reality by aggressively denying that things had/hadn’t happened, to the point that I didn’t know what was real and became dependent on her to tell me

using love as a means of control (“you’re meant to love me, I’m your girlfriend” if I tried to assert boundaries/did anything she perceived as insubordinate etc)

bagging up any belongings (except the stuff she wanted to keep for herself) I had at her flat and saying we were over and to come get my shit if I wasn’t obeying her enough

getting suspicious/irritated if I tried to take a bath or use the toilet with the door closed

constantly accusing me of hiding things from her

forcing me to strip naked to allow her to check my body for evidence of self harm

making me use her dirty bath water if I needed one, to “save water” (despite already taking money from me for the water bill)

trying to make me suspicious of the mental health professionals in charge of my care and make them seem untrustworthy or that their opinion was worthless (e.g saying they were wrong about my Dx, therapy won’t work for me, “you don’t have to do every little thing your care coordinator tell you to do it’s just SUGGESTIONS, they’re just trying to control you” etc)

insisting on coming to all my appointments with me so i didnt get to speak to anyone on my own

trying to control my family relationships, e.g making me phone my parents but ensuring that she was there to witness whatever was said, to the point that my family were afraid to voice their concerns about the relationship in case i cut contact with them

constantly posting cringey “romantic” bullshit on Facebook, including buying flowers etc for the sole purpose of showing off what a great girlfriend she was, and becoming angry if I didn’t respond in exactly the right way (not enough kisses etc) for “making her look a cunt ”

getting her niece and nephew to call me auntie lauren and constantly referring to me as her wife from only a few months into the relationship so that i would feel more committed than i was and less able to leave

blaming me and getting angry if the flowers she bought me died too early

getting angry if I didn’t sleep with the multitude of teddies she’d brought me/have them on display at all times and angrily demanding to know why she had wasted her money

constantly telling me that I was doing the things she had to me to do like an idiot, e. g hanging up washing, and taking it down and redoing it in a way that was not discernibly different

always threatening to break up with me if I didn’t toe the line, saying there was no point in us being together and that she didnt need me and wouldnt miss me, and that shed finally have less stress and a tidy flat

saying i was hard work and belittling my intelligence if i asked her how she wanted me to do one of the really specific chores she would make me do

badly neglecting her fish by not performing water changes or removing dead fish to the point that they would literally all die before going out and getting a load more, but not letting me care for them instead despite me pleading her and buying things to make it easier for her to do (e.g an expensive water testing kit that would have lasted her years); getting angry at me if i went behind her back to try to care for them by waking up early to do a water change etc and accusing me of being a smartarse for thinking i knew more about fish than she did when i literally studied animal management at college and actually did know more than her

using me like a slave to clean up her flat/do her washing up/take her mountains of rubbish out by angrily telling me that I had made the mess the previous weekend so she had left it waiting for me (this eventually lead to her having nearly 30 bags of months old rain soaked waste on her balcony one winter that she made me take down myself because “the rubbish is YOUR job and it’s your rubbish too, Ive only ever asked you to do one thing for me and you’re so lazy you won’t even do that blah blah blah”)

telling me to do important things “later” in a way that was framed as her being nice but was actually just more convenient for her /she knew would result in the thing not getting done because she didnt want me doing it

repeatedly breaking my toilet in Nelson House by insisting on flushing her tampons down sand saying that thats what you’re supposed to do, to the point that the toilet was eventually removed, then telling everyone I broke it by having a big shit. as sharing toilets was a mental health difficulty for me I had to suffer for months before being able to move rooms because of this

washing one of my outfits in with her own washing, acting all nice and then later saying that because she had done that for me I had to do a mountain of housework for her

making me go to a&e with her constantly (multiple times a week sometimes) and getting very angry at me if I tried to point out that she didn’t need to go; expecting me to go along with whatever lies she told people about what happened (e.g saying her blood pressure was extremely high and dangerous when it had come back completely normal)

forcing me to spend the weekends at her flat whether I wanted to or not, to the extent that my housing benefit and tenancy at nelson house was put at risk

alternately praising and demeaning my support worker depending on what she had advised me about our relationship (she was leas friend/flying monkey and would switch between saying lea was abusing me and that she was good for me)

making false accusations to the police and sanctuary about me “watching videos of babies being raped” on the darkweb in an attempt to get me to kill myself because i was starting to break away from her control

breaking up with me because i sent someone she didnt like a text after being banned from talking to her all weekend

banning me from talking to people and constantly checking to see if i was or not

taking an “overdose” (it was 25mg of diazepam lol) to try and get me to go crawling back to her

saying that I snored and forcing me to use all kinds of expensive and extremely uncomfortable anti snoring medication /devices, and then usually waking me up in the middle of the night and kicking me out anyway (but getting offended if i suggested sleeping separately from the start)

acting indifferent to my presence and alternating between saying she loved me and that she didn’t need me and wouldn’t miss me if i was gone

forcing me to disclose traumatic things even if I said i wasn’t comfortable speaking to her about it (guilt trips), and then using those things against me/miraculously having the same thing happen to her but ten times worse

gossiping about me with one of my support workers and using that support workers opinion to give legitimacy to her attempts to control my decisions

making me sleep next to the open bedroom door (in her usual spot) when i was unwell despite knowing it terrified me

blaming my behavior on diagnosis she had given me herself (“it’s your autism/bipolar” etc) and insisting i didnt have bpd because “thats just what they diagnose you with when they dont know what to do with you”

making me give her massages/wash her hair and body/squeeze her back spots/shave her legs /cut her toenails for her more or less every night and getting aggressive/sulking if i didnt want to

blaming physical ailments (that she demonstrably didn’t have and who’s severity /presentation changed on a very convenient basis) as an excuse to make me do things for her

putting me under huge amounts of pressure to perform “correctly” for her at all times or be harshly berated, ultimately driving me to attempt suicide several times because there was no escape from her nastiness

telling me that her family didn’t like me /disapproved of our relationship if she couldn’t get her own way and saying they wanted her to leave me because I was x y or z

Repeatedly telling a story about her dad (who has a violent history and had been in prison for attempted murder) threatening to burn down an ex girlfriends workplace and finding it hilarious that her ex was too scared to go to work for weeks

dismissing my concerns about anything as not a big deal or getting angry about me bringing them up, even serious things (e.g a sexual assault)

deliberately provoking me when I had told her to stop because my mental health was bad and i didnt feel able to control my reactions, because she enjoyed the drama /going to the hospital /getting attention from playing the long suffering loyal girlfriend role

only ever treating me with kindness if I had made a suicide attempt/done something dangerous to myself, and then using that against me later (”you put me through hell and im still always there for you so why cant you x y or z”)

blaming her being “in crisis” on me/my poor mental health (and not even being in crisis to begin with)

never saying sorry for hurting me, ever, even when proven “wrong” about something in front of impartial third party who insisted she should apologize for it

getting angry at me for googling any of the ridiculous things she said if I wasn’t sure it was accurate

making me go to a&e/doctors /mental health team when I didn’t want or need to be there because she enjoyed the attention she received as my partner

being angry at me for bring “constantly” on my phone and accusing me of texting other people instead of paying attention to her/whatever was on tv

getting angry if I didn’t want to watch whatever she was watching on tv (she would still be watching it but would get angry if I didn’t pay enough attention)

constantly trying to one-up me with her mental health/dismiss my concerns about how i was feeling and calling me self-centered because she had everything so much worse but was still “getting on with it”

demanding that i always answer the phone to her, and calling multiple times a day to keep tabs on me, usually keeping me talking for 2-3 hours daily whenever i wasnt staying at hers. it got to the point that it was pointless for me to try to do anything because i would start and then she would interrupt. if i didnt answer she would continually call the office claiming to be worried about me

trying to stop me from drinking, going to the extent of telling my parents she thought i had a drinking problem (i objectively didnt) because she didnt want me to spend time with a housemate she was jealous of because we actually had fun

expecting me to drop everything even when I was unwell to help care for an elderly man (who at one point sexually assaulted me), including regularly cleaning up urine/feces from the walls/floor because she didnt want to do that part, despite me saying that we werent trained and didnt have the correct ppe, and if we kept going above and beyond for him social services werent going to put a proper care plan in place for him. includes countless hours at hospital etc

buying me a shirt with a a swear word printed prominently on it and getting angry when I said it would be inappropriate to wear to a care home in case they kicked me out, and forcing me to do it anyway because she wanted brian (old man) to see it

lying about the value of gifts she’d brought me as a means of control/guilt (e.g earrings that she’d told me were £60, getting angry when i accidentally damaged one but when i went to get one fixed the guy said they weren’t worth more than £10 and would cost more to repair than replace)

insisting she couldn’t wait to rehome our cats (and taking the money for them despite the fact that i paid for them and their stuff) and giving them to a stranger despite knowing it would be a matter of weeks before i would be in a position to take them myself, because she couldn’t be bothered to look after them

deciding that we were getting guinea pigs (i wanted something else) and saying that caring for them would be split equally with one belonging to her and one to me, and that she would take them with her when she moved out, but only ever cleaning them once and then leaving me to care for them exclusively

complaining and calling me needy whenever i tried to show any kind of affection

accusing me of not trusting her when i did implicitly like an idiot

blaming all the problems in the relationship on me and whenever i brought up something that was upsetting me telling me that i did it to her too but worse

taking credit for me “getting gobby”/becoming less introverted and saying she was a good influence on me, despite having nothing to do with it (and that not being true, I was just settling in to the house)

having to sit in darkness because she wouldn’t let me open the blinds because she said having them open would damage her tv

if i was ever angry/irritated saying i was “hangry” and taking the piss, encouraging me to comfort eat and then acting smug when it calmed me down

saying that she hopes my friend dies and that she deserves to die when she was in a coma

trying to turn a mutual friend against me after she broke up with me, to the point that the friend refused to repeat what she'd said but told me she was dangerous and to stay away from her

expecting me to drop everything and make her cups of tea whenever she wanted, and making me remake them if they weren’t perfect /getting angry if I said i was busy

particularly saying i had to remake tea because it tasted like soap because i hadnt washed her cup up properly (she would use the same mugs continually until they were absolutely filthy and then leave me to wash them when i was there), often after I definitely had washed them properly but she just wanted to keep me in my place

playing on my fears (of guilt, abandonment etc)

convincing me to change my mind about what i wanted through compliments etc (e.g saying i looked much better wearing whatever she wanted me to wear)

expecting me to know what she wanted at all times without being asked and generally to be able to read her mind, and getting angry and claiming that i should know what she wanted because i was her girlfriend and that she always knew what i wanted and did everything for me blah blah blah

getting angry when i suggested couples therapy and saying it would be pointless because i would just blame everything on her

accusing me of “thundering around” and having heavy footsteps when i was just walking normally so I got so paranoid i had to tiptoe everywhere

refusing to clean up to the point that she got cockroaches, then refusing to acknowledge that it was because she kept leaving dirty dishes etc out and blaming it on her neighbours or on me, and then refusing to do anything about it so i had to pay for the poison and put it out repeatedly etc and make sure I cleaned up after her every time I came over so they wouldn't keep coming back

getting extremely frustrated when trying to accomplish simple tasks (usually diy related) but getting really angry and me when i offered help and accusing me of thinking she was an idiot (she was being an idiot a lot of the time, not reading instructions/using powertools in dangerous ways etc). it was scary and she would sometimes break things that i had bought out of frustration if she couldnt get them to work right (the cat cage & ball track toy for example)

refusing to prepare at all for when she moved out of nelson house so i had to do it, and then refusing to unpack her stuff at the other end in the hope that i would do that too

refusing to let me report an incidence of child abuse that happened in a neighbouring flat to hers because she was friends with the father and said the child deserved it

refusing to let me take the bus at times (she did pay for taxis for me but given the amount of money she took from me i might as well have been paying for them) even when i wanted to and acting like by not giving me a choice she was doing me a favour. in retrospect i think she wanted to know that i was going straight home

always asking me where i was, who i was with and sometimes accusing me of lying about it, either way trying to make my life hell

trying to encourage me to stay on my own and ignore my housemates but phrasing it in a cutesy way (just make a cup of tea and shut your door and have a nice night to yourself without any drama) so it sounded less like she was trying to be controlling

ringing me every night to confirm that i was in bed when i said i would be and making me video call her if she didnt believe me

telling me gossip about mutual friends that wasnt even true because she loved the drama (e.g saying venetias children had died because they had been born deformed)

constantly slagging off her exes and telling fantastical stories about how they broke up/stalked her/abandoned her/abused her and about the triumphant ways she got back at them

generally always telling incredibly unbelievable stories that made her look either “good” (e.g “taking down a squaddie in front of his mates”, sleeping with a nurse while both on duty) or made her out to be the illest (claiming to have had a psychotic break, coughing up a kidney stone)

virtue signalling with brian while also being controlling towards him/explaining things to him in a way that he would do what she wanted/saying “oh he won’t mind, he’d tell us to do it if he were here” when she used his card to buy us lunch etc (yeah he probably would have but that isnt the point)

getting angry if i ever discussed our relationship with anyone else, saying it was none of their business/i was trying to make her look like a cunt; telling me not to tell anyone after she did horrible things

promising things about the future and then never delivering any of it

saying that she wouldnt be the one carrying our children, trying to tell me that getting sperm from facebook was safe and generally treating me like a walking uterus

ending lies/false promises with “you know i will/do/am” to try and enforce to me that she was telling the truth

telling me to cancel holidays id paid for/not come over/generally throwing her toys out of the pram when she couldnt get her own way

forcing me to watch murder documentaries, usually about women being murdered by their partners, and getting way too in to it in a way that was a bit creepy

telling me my menstrual cup was disgusting and trying to force me to use tampons instead

making a big fuss about how she used to ~be an alcoholic~ and that she cant drink because it makes her a nasty person, and then buying a load of beer and vodka when the relationship wasnt going well and saying shed fallen off of the wagon because of me

constantly telling me i had BO to the point i was really paranoid (nobody else has ever said anything about it)

bullying me into letting her smoke in my room

throwing her rubbish on to my floor constantly because she was too lazy to pick it up, so i had to

constantly talking about how against domestic violence she was, saying she'd never hit a woman and how she had been a victim of it to make me think what she was doing wasnt abuse

doing small things for me that I found difficult because of my mental health (e. g phone calls) and then holding it over my head

telling me that i was incapable of love, and that the only person i loved was myself because of how selfish i am

deliberately killing two bees that I was enjoying watching by stomping them into the pavement then laughing at me when I was upset about it

Meet the Rider of Science, and his power of... Exposition!!! Yeah, it's a full review for Kamen Rider Build episode 1...

NOTE: After long consideration, I've decided to upgrade my First Impression into a full review. This doesn't necessarily mean I'll be doing the same for the following episodes. That part is... still undecided for now. If anything, I might end up doing a batch review for several episodes in each new post. Probably once a month, or at least a bi-weekly (2 episodes) release. Assuming I continue watching, of course! Also, don't expect this to be as thorough/detailed as my recap-view for "Kamen Rider Ghost". To be honest, that ended up being a bit taxing to produce... LOL. For this one in particular, I've already offered some points before, so I'm just going to expand on those. Let's start!

- Like I've pointed out before, the Pandora's Box mystery is intriguing. Sure, it's basically another plot-generating macguffin, but what is it really? Of course, after a few days, I've realized one thing: TOEI seems to have a thing with cubes lately! Remember "Doubutsu Sentai Zyuohger"? And also that recent 'odd' anime series, "Sekaisuru KADO". I'm so glad "Uchu Sentai Kyuranger" has the... balls to be different. LOL. - The interesting part about this item though, is that it gave clear confirmation to the series' time setting. Much like Kyuranger, this show is being set in the future, albeit not as distant as that current Super Hero Time counterpart (after all, Kyuranger takes place more than 300 years after humanity's first space exploration). This first episode began around 10 years after the elusive Box was discovered. And that occured during humanity's first landing on Mars! - As for the "Romance of Three Kingdom" angle I said before? That's due to what the Box created: the "Skywall Disaster". When the macguffin was triggered during the Martian Exploration's homecoming ceremony, it unleashed a mysterious impenetrable Skywall that divided Japan into... yes, THREE areas. Namely, Hokuto (blue, the social welfare), Seito red, the economic recovery), and Touto (green, the traditional pacifist). The last is where this series is set (for now, at least). We have three confirmed Kamen Riders as well, so I'm guessing they will represent the Rulers/Leaders for each area. Not unlike Liu Bei, Cao Cao, and Sun Quan, right? - Oh, one more thing... that mysterious worker who conveniently activated the Box and instigated the tragedy? I could be wrong, but I think it's quite obvious enough that he's none other than our protagonist. His amnesiac state and strange obsession curiosity to the Box that was shown afterwards, strongly supported this theory. - Protagonist Sentou Kiryuu (played by yet another JUNON Super Boy winner Atsuhiro Inukai) is still grating on my nerves. Yes, I HAVE warmed up to him after 3rd viewing (kind of... sort of...), but I'm still having trouble liking this guy. He's what you get if the duo of "Kamen Rider W" had a child together: the cocky side of Shoutarou Hidari, and the naive curiosity of Philip/Raito Sonozaki. Calling himself genius and self-praising his own invention? Yikes! That's Shoutarou's bad-side all right. Also... Spada Spada Spada!!! Sentou's body language reminds me of Kyuranger's Spada. But he's far from being as likeable. For now, that is. - Inspite of that, I do like the questions surrounding his 'forgotten past'. That creepy human-experimentation nightmare? Yeah, it's a strong nod to Shouwa Riders, with "Kamen Rider Black" being a great example. It doesn't take a genius to guess, that it's how he ended up becoming Kamen Rider Build. Introduced via the nightmares, was 'Bat-Man'.... I mean the bat-themed Faust leader Night Rogue. It seems this mysterious figure is pulling the strings behind these experimentations. - Speaking of experiments... Ryuuga Banjou (played by Eiji Akaso) is the recent in its long line of victim. This stupid 23 years old is easily my second favorite character so far. His actor have proven his ability to showcase emotions in "Kamen Rider Amazons S2" (I hated his character at first, but he evolved into a compelling audience-surrogate later on). So he's another strong talent for the protagonist side. He also shared that Shouwa Rider-esque backstory, which comfortably placed him on route to become the 2nd Rider, Kamen Rider Claws. But if, and only if, this show is indeed going through the Sangokuden path, will he end up becoming Sun Quan to Sentou's Liu Bei? Hmmmm.... that would be a heartbreaking twist, considering how heavily he's being shipped with Sentou right now. Then again, don't forget Shadowmoon... - If Ryuuga's second, who's my favorite character then? The answer is of course... Gentoku Himuro (played by Kensei Mikai). Contrary to my First Impression, he's not that ambiguous. He's a sleek-haired corporate-level douchebag, as evidenced by his sleazy move towards the lady journalist. He might look cool and tough, but at several occasions, he's acting like a spoiled brat! That's probably why I liked him even more! LOL. I admit, he's currently present to deliver exposition dump regarding the Pandora's Box. But he also had his own mystery, which means future potentials. Gentoku's one of the three bigwigs who experienced the Skywall disaster first hand. Yet in contrast to his words, he looked okay, and seemingly hasn't aged in 10 years. What's the deal with him then? What about those other two, the lady in white and middle-aged man? Are they the leaders of the two other areas now? Why is the buttons on his gray uniform is on the left, and not right side? If I do end up following this series, getting answers to those will probably be one of the few reasons. - There's more. These past few days, many have been connecting Gentoku with the supposed-antagonist Night Rogue. A nice theory, but a little too obvious one if you ask me. Unless of course, TOEI is going the exact same route to "Kamen Rider Ex-Aid". Which makes sense, since Gentoku shares MANY similarities to Kuroto Dan! Both are played by crowd-pleasing really-good-looking (I can't really argue that, can I... ;D) 30-something actors, both are corporate businessmen who somehow got involved with the protagonist, and they exuded a strong "I'm a villain" vibe from the very start of the show. Two of a kind! But that's also the reason why it's too obvious. I doubt TOEI is going to rehash the same twist so soon. - Personally, I'm currently suspecting his assistant Nariaki Utsumi (played by Yuki Ochi) to be the real face behind Night Rogue. Going back to my Sangokuden theory, there's a likelihood that Gentoku will serve as the show's Cao Cao. But remember, it wasn't Cao Cao who ended up becoming the bigger challenge to Liu Bei. It was Sima Yi, who was his right hand and also personal advisor. I hope you're getting my point here... - Misora Isurugi (played by Kaho Takada) is obviously the official sidekick for Sentou. I sincerely hope we'll see a development in her character soon, because for now, her listless attitude... is sucking the joy out of this series. Think of it, like grumpy Koyomi in "Kamen Rider Wizard". She made me abandoned that series! For some reason, Misora has the power to cleanse evil. That means she might end up becoming a key character later on. That's a story for another day though. She's just part of Sentou's glaring exposition dump now. - Freelance journalist Sawa Takigawa (played by Yukari Taki and Cafe Nascita owner Souichi Isurugi (played by Yasuyuki Maekawa) are also exposition tools! Their main contribution to the episode was to deliver explanations, such as: the unidentified life forms Smash, how Build could extract their Essence to turn them back into human, how Misora could purify the Essence to be used by Build later on, why Sentou ended up living in Nascita's hidden basement/bunker, Build's goals in this series, as well as about Ryuuga's criminal background. Sawa served as the first damsel-in-distress, while Souichi as... Spada, Spada, Spada (that use of Italian? duh...)... a comic relief support. He was NOT funny though. AT ALL. Generally annoying for my taste. - Aaah yes, the flat dry jokes just did NOT work. It's said that third time's the charm, but definitely not for this one. None of the humor made me laugh, not even once. Aside from being weak in materials and relies too much on slapstick, the comedic timing was also off. The optimist in me would say, "Better luck next episode", but the pessimist half is saying, "Cut the crap, and just focus on being serious!!!". - If there's one thing I easily enjoyed about this episode, it's the design and concept. I could be biased due to my love to "Kamen Rider W", but Build certainly emitted Double's flair of style. Likely due to Ryuta Tasaki being the director. The dual-elements is a such a neat concept, combining biological and technological, though it seems these will not be limited to those categories (we'll be getting elementals like Diamonds, Fire, and more). Yes, the whole Full Bottles gimmick is basically an excuse to promote toy collectibles/figures. But at least it allows a variety of combinations, or as the Build Driver say... "BEST MATCH". The fact that it's created using purified Smash's essence (Hedgehog is the example) is equally intriguing. That means every Smash serves a purpose to become a new power-base! What will happen if Build accidentally uses an evil one, then? Will he turn evil too? Hmmm... - Build's transformation scene feels very SCIENCEy with all those physics equations. All those metallurgy angle... I really dig that! Sadly, the finishing move "VOLTECH FINISH" is a complete opposite. It's meant to look cool, but for me it's cheesy because the use of Physics felt unnatural/forced. Really, I don't think it's possible for anyone to move that way. To sum up, the Science approach in this episode was a hit or miss for me. - Last but not least, the nicely choreographed action, helped elevate the episode's second half into something that was genuinely entertaining. The motorcycle chase against the Touto armed forces in particular, was a highlight. It's over the top, but exciting. Like many had said, it felt like a Kamen Rider show once again.

As far as first episode go, this was... okay to good. Not great, due to many reasons I've pointed out above. Unlike Kyuranger that instantly stole my attention and sped off with it, this one didn't accomplish as much. It's clearly handholding its audience with thorough explanations here and there, so the bulk of it was merely expositions. Just to be fair, it can't really be helped nor blamed, considering this IS only the first episode. I do however, hope things will 'build up' with more... 'natural' flow in the next one. That's probably when I can properly decide whether to pick this series up or not. So yeah, allow me to reiterate: this post does NOT mean I'll be following the series from now on. There are some nitpick-ish parts I still need to... 'shake off' first, but I do have some good enough reasons to give it a chance, at least until around the 5th-6th episode. Here's hoping the next ones will be able to convince me even more... Next Episode: Is Ryuuga a real killer? Time for a murder investigation...

Episode 01 Score: 7,3 out of 10

All images are screencaptured from the series, provided by the FanSubber Over-Time. "Kamen Rider Build" is produced by TOEI, and airs every Sunday on TV-Asahi. Credits and copyrights belong to their respective owners.

Nobody asked for it but I’m giving it to you anyway:

The inspiration-behind-the-trolls master post:

Damath: I saw a lot of haughty seadwellers super proud of their status and thought ‘what if there was a seadweller who lost at being a seadweller’ and damath was hatched. I basically wanted an asshole desperately clinging to his old status, and he hasn’t changed too drastically since then.

Haydel: I listened to Barrett’s Privateers and became inspired to write my own ‘pirate’ troll. She was fairly flat when I first wrote her. She didn’t even have a proper profile until recently despite being first designed several years ago. Originally she was just a drunkard pirate with bad aim, but now she’s a drunkard dancing pirate with middlin’ aim and a strong desire to kidnap trolls to be her lackeys so she can prove herself the toughest of all seadwellers.

Vollia: I dunno, I think someone literally just suggested ‘what if there was a troll based off one of those repo-men shows’ on MSPAF at one point and Vollia was hatched. She’s changed drastically since then. Original incarnation was still a drinker, but only to deal with the stupidity she dealt with on a regular basis. She was also fairly bloodthirsty and absolutely loathed subjugglators for ‘ruining’ the good name of indigos

Deviex: I was fresh off playing Bioshock and I wanted a lunatic doctor of my own. He was never a direct Bioshock rip-off, but I slipped in a few steinman jokes here and there and unfortunately that got him l labelled as such. He originally had a yellowblooded moirail that kept his homicidal medical intentions in check, but since her RPer turned into a huge prat stopped roleplaying, that is long gone and Deviex has since had no one to stop him from flying into a rage when told someone won’t submit for medical testing.

Remiva: ‘what if there was a highblood who made it his job to deal with these nice highbloods?’ I think I originally just designed him as an example profile for a fantroll help blog I used to run (boy that was a dumpster fire). Since I liked the concept of someone being a deliberate asshole to lowbloods for the sake of status while stabbing other people in the back to prove some philosophical point, I fleshed out his profile completely.

Charsa: Originally designed for a dieselpunk SGRUB rp that never took off, she used to be a very energetic and excitable inventor who routinely broke everything she made out of excitement. In the translation between that and here, she lost her excitable nature and become more tired than anything, partially as a result of how her AB turned out. Which is all well and good, I prefer the lazy/tired inventor archetype to the excited one. Plus she kept all the eccentric nature of what she builds with a mildly amused, nearly asleep-college-student attitude.

Kormut: He was my first fantroll. I just wanted a highblood that couldn’t be considered overpowered since I was super worried about accidentally being some sort of newbie rper who busted in with overpowered trolls that everyone auto-loved. So I gave him inexplicable bad luck. Some people guessed that his bad luck was entirely in his head, but it really wasn’t. He’s stayed pretty much the same since his inception, though his lusus turned from a Dune-esque sandworm into a slightly mutated lusus cougar instead.

Sapant: Hatched from the idea of ‘take an obscure character from a popular work and make them into a fantroll.’ He’s Owl Eyes from The Great Gatsby, albeit with his niceness significantly toned down to fit in with troll attitudes. He’s too new to have changed at all!

Newsen: One of the first new trolls I made following my impromptu hiatus. I saw a pair of torn jeans and a wicked hairstyle on a sprite sheet while listening to Dirty Laundry, so I figured a reporter intentionally sabotaging everyone else’s success for his own gain would be pretty amusing, especially if he was pretty disgusting himself.

Yegeri: He’s somewhat inspired by the Pinkerton Detective Agency (His name is formed from two different prominent Pinkerton detectives). You know, before they became some weird private security group. When they busted rum runners and such. He doesn’t get much any use because I’m not a big fan of the sprite I made for him, but I still like his personality.

Hovend: I wanted Yegeri to have a distaff counterpart that was absolutely not suited for police work whatsoever. What would happen if the worst person possible was thrust into a position where he had to do what he hated most? The answer is apparently regress into anime and origami folding.

Xrumon: Not gonna lie, I made him because I was annoyed with a certain someone’s representation of a troll brought back from near-death in robot form. Not to worry dear weird person reading this, it’s nobody that follows me. Their representation had the troll...blandly accept being saved, and they weren’t at all concerned with the ramifications of their new body. So I said ‘I can do it better’ and wrote up the mean spirited son of a bitch we all don’t know and certainly don’t love today. Turns out being trapped in a robot shell sucks.

Portec: There’s an episode of American Dad where Stan really, really, really wanted to get a helicopter or some shit. I saw that and decided I wanted a helicopter troll because it’d be funny (That’s a common theme). So Portec became reality, formed with a strong desire for coffee and a reckless attitude, he...really hasn’t changed all that much.

Deveii: He was originally a self-insert! Oh no! He had my worst personality traits of course, namely being my absolutely awful temper at the time along with cowardice. Thankfully he quickly grew way the hell away from being a self-insert through the power of Zagaya (his first moirail) taking him under his wing. He always retained his bad temper, however, and accidentally gained an affinity for dating highbloods.

Evelsi: I think rai dared me to make a troll that only spoke in like 50′s slang or some shit like that. For a while, that was basically his quirk! I had a whole page written up of various slang terms to use, while Evelsi was basically ‘hey remember the American 50′s? Weren’t those times wild?’ the troll. From that I gradually added onto him so that he became more of a rock n’ roll troll with a penchant for helping others gain friends/quadrants, and pretty much entirely dropped the 50′s schtick.

Remune: “I want a bartender that nearly kills people with what he makes.” That’s pretty much it. His sprite is one I’m really proud of, even if I used a base. His hair was a total bitch but I love how it turned out. He hasn’t changed much, though he originally had telekinesis as a power. I changed that to seismic sense so that I could play it into his alcoholism (Booze deadens the constant noise other trolls generate for him).

Gaveyo: I kinda just wanted an explorer type troll? I listened to the Legionnaire’s Lament by the decemberists and wanted a troll that evoked that song. A lot of my trolls are inspired by music. At first he was just gonna be a lil grumpy and v. tired and v. world weary, but he somehow turned into fat dickhead who ruins people’s nights for laughs. At least he kept his trait of collecting trinkets and mementos. Fun fact, his last name is a rearrangement of the word cloyed, which iirc means something that is really sweet or overly sappy. I have actual reasons for keeping it that way.

Chamlo: I wrote him for a special RP where mutants/undesirable would get to duke it out on an island. The last one standing would be allowed to rejoin the troll empire at large, having been granted the gift of life! And every other troll in the empire got to watch a sick, extreme version of survivor! Unfortunately the RP didn’t get enough applicants and then the MSPAF got nuked so oh well.

Adabon: I listened to Delta (C2C) and suddenly got inspired to make a troll who was a fan of bombs. But since that felt a little cliche, I wondered what else could one do w/ bombs. And then I remembered seeing a cartoon where some fool used an explosives challenge to paint a shitload of stuff at once and figured that’d be pretty fun! It worked out pretty well overall, I’d say.

Yarrex: Second fantroll ever. Most of his characterization came from when I first used him on MSPAF. I can’t remember if the cafe interactions or his profile came first. Either way he soon turned into a troll obsessed with balance. Then I did the stupidest thing ever and wrote myself into an Edgy Fanfic Corner(tm) by burning his hive down and killing his lusus because itsbadwriting.gif. Fortunately, people still liked him for whatever reason. I’ve retconned all of that so his lusus is quite alive and his hive is still standing, but I still have him reference his hive at least getting singed sometimes as a nod. 

Argumi: “Boy, reading everyone’s thoughts would actually be a pretty horrible power. I know! I’ll make it so that you can’t turn it off! And you’re an empath!” And so began Argumi’s suffering. Most of my trolls are ‘inspired’ by sudden thoughts, really. First he was just an empath, then he turned into a mind reader, and now he’s an empath AND a mind reader. His life just gets worse every rewrite. But at least he’s more functional now than he used to be.

Famynn: Was written originally to be the Totally Awesome Doctor(tm) in a pirate RP. He would have performed surgery listening to stirring operas and complained about everyone else being little kids. Basically an incredibly old fashioned, anachronistic, asshole. But then the owner of said rp who shall remain nameless repeatedly made me lower his caste so their friends could get in instead. So he became brown and hopelessly incompetent as a doctor. Then the RP ended because oops the earlier mentioned prat was in it and the owner was no better. Later I used him in a better RP called Hunters (of the lost planet) where he was still the ship’s doctor. That’s where he got his jealous nature towards highbloods from! He’s been pretty much the same since, although his Alternian form has no doctor incliniations.

Marnin: I listened to Convoy or something one too many times and wanted a badass trucker troll. He was Not Great(tm). Really flat for my tastes and I’m a little embarrassed at how one-note he was. I was recently convinced to revive him by someone who actually liked him. I used it as a chance to completely revamp his personality (i.e. actually give him one) and change what he did completely. He’s not the same troll he used to be.

Abnage: I just wanted a con artist, really. His sprites belonged to a failed troll concept I tried out for a while, involving a hobo that flagrantly violated society’s norms to make some dumbass moral point. Unfortunately, that would mean being nice on purpose, and since everyone else’s trolls were nice at the time, the point was lost in translation. 

Gerrel: Third fantroll ever! I wanted the ‘ideal’ lowblood, in a similar vein to how Kormut was a purposefully underpowered blueblood. I didn’t want people calling me mean names if I made an upstart lowblood, so I went in the opposite direction. Just about the only personality trait he retains from his original incarnation is his workaholic-please-everyone attitude. He used to be somewhat suave (at least, what, 15 year old me thought so?) and utterly confident in himself. He bored me to tears, honestly, since I wasn’t a very good writer and couldn’t work with him very well. He’s gone through the most rewrites out of all my troll’s until we got to his ULTIMATE FORM (the one he’s in now). Unfortunately this came at the cost of (oopsie) alienating the fire nation his matesprit, since I never RP’d him much and also randomly went on hiatus.

Platar: I wanted a gas mask troll who burned things. I think the original ORIGINAL idea I had was just ‘world war 1 troll.’ He always carried deadly clouds of poison around with him in sealed containers to show off to other trolls. He was also hideously scarred under his mask thanks to accidentally exposing himself to a large batch of mustard gas, a secret no one ever actually found out. He’s changed entirely up to this point, since he’s now an extremely loyal member of the empire hellbent on proving the worth of his supposed ancestor and burning out all traces of heresy and criminality from the glorious Empire.

Lola and the Boy Next Doors

Lola and the boy next door 68. Cricket is the sweetest little cricket ever 69. Cricket is literally the most sweet and thoughtful guy ever. Ryan can love St Claire 70. Yeah…that’s a rough situation 23:12 Oh yeah, didn’t she, like, tell Cricket Lola didn’t like him or something? Hence, his pain when Lola saw his face? They’re basically dating. They almost kissed. I love it. I love them. I love Cricket! He missed her, like, tryouts for worlds for the first time or something. 72. Honestly, she’s pretty great too. She’s disillusioned and young, but so full of spirit. She’s getting him an obscure gear. I LOVE that. I’m very confused. Perhaps, this was him choosing Callipoe? On their birthday? When he didn’t choose her before? 73. Oh. He just didn’t want to make it harder. 74. He loves you. Aww…poor baby Cricket. I love him. He’s so sweet. He’s just…bad at communicating. 77. Obviously, Cricket will also be home. I can’t imagine these two boys so removed from the social scene 79. Does he ever bring another girl home? Doubt it 82. Does he have aspbergers? 91. I. Love. Cricket. Bell. 92. That’s so sad. Way too much. I love him 93. This was the cool girl, looking good scenario Lola wanted. Cricket had little to do with her after his sixteenth birthday. Steph Perks is good at pulling these things in. I wonder if I ever noticed before. The stars in my eyes reading before… 95. Did he think, like, physical hurt…or sex hurt? 96. He so doesn’t fricken believe you 100. He didn’t come home for laundry. He came home for you. He came back for you. He went to Berkeley for you. The only friend he’s ever had aside from Calliope 101. Steph Perks is so good at creating this tension. She knows she’s making the readers think “but…Cricket would go on a double date in a heartbeat.” Mastering subliminal thought…manipulation? Make people think they’ve come to conclusions without your help 103. St Clair is cute, sure. He’s sweet and thoughtful and caring…he’s so extroverted and cool and likeable…then there’s Cricket 104. Doesn’t St Clair have crazy good hair? Or something 106. These things I didn’t realize when I first read this…was it while I was in Kansas? Tenth grade 80+ book year? Spunk. That yellow stain. Sex anything. 107. I LOVE him 108. Aww he doesn’t want to flirt…out of respect 110. Did I mention I love him? 112. Haha TWO WEEKS? But, honestly, a lot can happen in that time. As I tell Trev, a lot can happen in a day 114. People just closed their eyes whenever they’re under any sort of stress 115. “It’s maddening how someone so easy to read can be so impossible to understand.” 117. AHHHH SECOND HURTS. Cricket…who put others before him for so long…only to always be second to…everything. Calliope. Skating. Max. 118. Was I always enticed by Cricket’s slight self deprivation? 120. Only Lola would make me wrinkle my nose in delight “OH DEAR GOD. WHY WOULD I SAY THAT?” 122. Why is he so cute? His genuineness? Genuity? 123. I too sighed. Cricket Bell is…perfection, really. He could be a little funnier…like Percy, but, hey. He’s wonderful. There’s no objections to that. 125. Not talking about guys…that litmus test…it’s so not called that. The test about girls talking without talking about guys. I think about that often ish now. Let’s amend that to: my boyfriend, cricket This is the subliminal stuff I’m talking about 127. Oh my gosh. He was breathless when he saw her. That’s amazing. I could never do that. 129. I love it. He’s so awkward. He’s so sweet. I just want to protect him from the world. 131. He’s so flipping considerate. Asking if it’s okay to eat salmon in front of her 132. He does stuff with her whole body…I guess only face her. St Clair laughs or something with his whole body, making him more European looking Ah, yes. The lie. Kind forgot 133. I need to look at their exchange again. 73. He still initiated conversation after she didn’t come. He’s so sweet. He’s so much. I love him. The word was totally Lola. He’s got something going on. He will take her hand now. That’s how he’s changed. He’s worked so hard…and she’s totally been a motivation. I love that. He would have a present for her on his birthday. Oh my gosh, that is just so sweet. 134. He thought she’d give up on him, but he never wanted to give up on her. That went both ways but just AWWWW 135. He’s…he’s really not a bad guy. He’s being honest instead of pretending to be the good guy only to swoop in “unexpectedly”. Sure, it’s hard to hear, but…she knew it. It was only fair for them both to have it out there 136. He cares about her so much He taught her not to care about what others thought. That’s so powerful. He helped allow her to be who she wanted to be 137. She had a feeling when the Bell’s moved back 139. “I release a breath that I didn’t realize I’d been holding.” 141. Family. I like that plot line here. I think I’m appreciating this book more now than I did before. Cricket is so thoughtful. 143. The subliminal messaging that Cricket would make her feel better in a positive way rather than fuel her flames. 145. The hurt of Cricket… 146. I really like her reactions. Ryan said she may not have liked Lola as much because she was so unrelatable…but she’s so endearing “WHAT’S THAT? WHO’S HERE? Who did my parents send?” Almost hoping for someone to rescue her 147. Cricket talks to St Clair…that warms my heart. They’re an adorable pair of friends. 150. He should be pissed. They came for her. Anna was so excited to meet Max. 151. The moon. The mom she never had. Does Cricket always hear all of this? 152. I love that seeing him never gets old. He felt guilty for falling asleep. He’s so amazing. 153. Max didn’t help. I’ve been filled with shame before…still sometimes. 155. Did she not see or communicate with Cricket whatsoever when he returned the following week? I find that hard to believe 157. Oh. It’s only been a day. 161. What the frick, man? 163. HAHAHAHAH MIIIIIIIINE. Has cricket ever asked anyone besides Lola out? This is so a double date. What a bro 165. He’s embarrassed because it’s a fluke. He doesn’t feel proud of his heritage because that guy stole the fame from who deserved it. Cricket is such a innocent soul 167. Oh, St Clair. My poor cricket 170. Obviously, Cricket is taking her home. He’s beautiful. 171. What does Cricket have? 172. He’s so…genuine. 175. He said he couldn’t come…but he came for Lola. Awk Of course she knows where Lola works. Doubt Cricket can keep everything secret 178. Throw back to when Lola was talking about what she needed super early on 182. A parting. She’s leaving? Or max. Or Lola from her past 187. Part of me loves Calliope. I remember respecting her a lot reading the first time through. Cricket was a saint in helping the reader like her 188. They’re both so selfish and in the wrong…but they’re also sympathetic characters. I want to make that. I want to be a person like that. 189. Isn’t max like cheating on her? 190. Oh, Lola, Lola, Lola. Does she see him with a girl? Maybe? I’m excited. I kind of want her to. She deserves it. She needs it. They need each other. 196. It’s so true ahah I guess I still like when books appreciate how opportunities are so serendipitous 199. He told rando girl about Lola! He is so precious. My heart is breaking. 201. He gives her the utmost respect in so many ways 203. Hahah Crickets response of “um” Yes, there’s another one. Cricket is a hot commodity 205. I wonder if Calliope has visited. This is the other life he lives without her too. I just…it’s complicated. They’re twins. They care about each other so much 207. Oh, Cricket. This page. This argument needs to go further. He shouldn’t be the one always apologizing. I know that’s a tad unfair to Lola, but she’s a tad unfair to him. 208. Lost him again? Break up with Max! It’s what they both deserve…I guess it would be awful kind of if she was like actually I do love him more and think he’s better for me and I’m better for him after all….plz take me back. It’s because I have HE knowledge that he’s a jerk that I have the freedom to be so liberal about these thoughts. She’s been happy with Max in the past…it could be hard 211. Maybe it’s the delirium isn’t the right word-exhaustion hitting in, but I laughed a little too hard about the fact that Cricket’s hand just said boo. I should sleep. I need to drive 7.5 hours tomorrow. I love reading though 1:33 213. Their banter is just so cute. It sucks if their mom really is hard on Calliope about her figure Maybe it was just a joke though 219. BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP! Will she have to wait to be cheated on? Could only remember their walks vaguely because I loved the line “then we stopped pretending”. Forgot I loved that line until I came upon it again. Remembered vaguely that their birthdays were important 222. Her capital letter thinking is so funny. I also love cricket completely frozen because he’s so not dressed 223. She needs to let him go and stop jerking him around. Or hold him tightly and never let him go plz after breaking up with Max 224. I love boys next door. Probably because I know I’ve been considered a girl next door before…if I’m that obsessed with myself 226. Genetics. Why did I not love this book as much before? It’s a tinge more real? It faces actual problems? This is better than Anna. I know it. The culture was cool, the love story was great, but it was all…predictable. I wanted to say flat. It wasn’t. 227. She remembers everything. All of his achievements that others don’t… MY guess is Calliope is not berated by her mother that much because that’s why they laughed, right? Just pondering 230. Chapter twenty three. I need to sleep. I need to drive tomorrow…maybe I will take another day here…probably not. I need to finish this book. I love it. 1:52 AM 5/17 1:58 could not stay away 231. Josh’s dad cameo 232. Brunch was REQUIRED? Was that ever explicitly said? I knew he said he’d have to toughen out the meals, but I thought that was just because it’d look terrible if he said no 239. Norah asked too. Wow. Maybe I’ve grown more interested about my adoption after CJs RSA program 254. I like that she breaks up with him on her own accord, not because he’s cheating. He truly thought he loved her too 255. This is it. This is when you’re like, oh. That’s why she didn’t do this earlier. It was just that hard. She loved him 256. She isn’t looking for a Cricket rebound. It’s good. I like it 258. It’s so…deep. She doesn’t know who she is. That’s just it. She doesn’t know who she wants to be. She just doesn’t want to be hurt. Nice little Lola didn’t work out with Cricket. But…she loves him. But…who is she? Not her mom. That’s all that matters. Love it 261. Break 2:22 to write another post Crap. I cancelled it. 2:38 I wrote some 273. My foot started shaking excitedly like a dog. I tested up. It's too late for this shizz. I remember loving this classically corny line. "If the person is...Lola?" "Only if the other person is Cricket." AHHHHHH 278. The way this all flies by...she is depressed. Indisputably so. 279. The fact that they both have so little confidence is heart breaking. Also, I know Cricket has had them the whole time, but what up with the rainbow bracelets? 281. He gets her. He understands her in a way no one else does...partially because no one else has tried to I just want to read forever and not have a job or future that includes serious job stuff 282. Bourgeois...boujee 283. True. She wanted to hear Cricket. 285. AWWWWW MOMMY DAUGHTER TIME 289. Maybe that's why I thought he was cheating...because he was totally cheating on her at gigs earlier 292. Has she kept that wrench there the whole time? 294. Ah, yes. That thing hahaha 296. AWWWWWWWWW I CANT 305. Oh, dear Calliope 307. I can picture it. Pretty girls face like kind of unsightly between her duh and her slight disgust and her you're truly and idiot face 311. I read "Calliope does not find the joke funny." Three times. Then laughed. Soon. Sleep is imminent 316. He's still to shy to call her? He asked her out tonight, tomorrow night and all of the nights after that 318. She worked so hard. I've learned those feel good things where underdogs win irritate me now. They don't work all that time that the others do. I've always loved underdogs. It's just...unfair of them to win with such less effort 324. The weird similarities between Calliope and Lola. The people in this book are all so talented...everyone is though. Maybe that's it? If you follow your passion, that's enough? But nah 325. Gotta love the socks 327. What the frick this is so cute. The stars on his hand. They're always her. Everything is Lola. 335. I thought sohereitis ihopeyoulikeit was some mystic codeword to have a clever box open with those sounds together like that...nope. STEPHS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS TO HER HUSBAND FOR RECOGNIZING THE IMPORTANCE OF A SCHOOL DANCE AND SWEEPING HER OFF HER FEET AND WEARING MATCHING CHUCKS AND ALWAYS MAKES HER FEEL BEAUTIFUL AND FLYING ACROSS THE COUNTRY THAT IS SO CUTE 3:40 4.55 stars

Trainspotting on stage brings a disturbing reality vividly to life

Irvine Welsh’s in-yer-face, anti-fairy tale of no-hope NEDs (non-educated delinquents), and the mega-highs and ultra-lows of skank (heroin) in Thatcherite Scotland, may now be seen by those who, when it first appeared, were no more than wee gobshites sucking at their mother’s tit. And if you think that’s offensive, perhaps this isn’t the show for you.

Now a stage show touring nationally, Trainspotting was first a novel (1993), then a play, and a film (1996), with a sequel, T2 Trainspotting opening this week. The adaptations of this grunge classic reveal different qualities in each medium. The stories are fractured and verbally dense, a mix of Scots and Scots English.

Danny Boyle’s film is cooler, almost ironic, with sequences of colourful, surreal action. The stage version is something else again. It has chunks of prose description in it, lifted straight from the book, but also explosions of visceral action of the kind live performance specialises in.

It’s one thing to read about the lead character Alex Renton waking up covered in his own vomit and faeces. It is another to see it happen three feet away from you and – should you be the lucky recipient of the actor’s attention – have a heavily soiled sheet flipped over you like a chair cover. First produced at Edinburgh’s Traverse Theatre in 1994, it’s raw, exposing, high-energy theatre, and fluids pour from every orifice of the cast’s bodies.

When the film appeared I was advised not to see it because it “glamourised drugs”. Er, no. It is hard to imagine a clearer-eyed testament to drugs’ scrofulous effects than Welsh’s “scabby wee book”. It makes Cormac McCarthy seem like an optimist. Trainspotting doesn’t demonise drugs and it certainly doesn’t demonise its characters. It tells the truth about them, and that is enough.

How does this revival of the stage play stand up after 20 years? Haven’t we moved on? Hasn’t the yawning void of life in Leith in the late 1980s been replaced by a golden age of i-pods, gym memberships and meaning?

Who would have thought – certainly not me, looking back at those bleak, dislocated times, that the world would actually get worse. Trainspotting has not dated. If anything, its dank reality has spread more widely. Save for the absence of mobile phones and CCTV cameras, it could have been new-minted last Tuesday.

Like the game of soccer with which the characters are obsessed, the play comes in two halves. The first is fast, furious and very, very funny. The characters lurch from worse to worser, as life presents its intractable qualities. It’s a comedy, in other words, albeit it a comedy about hard drugs.

The second half is an evenly paced descent into hell, as the consequences of earlier actions play out to terminal result. Renton survives, but Tommy, his best friend contracts HIV and dies alone in a pit of a flat. The hinge scene is one in which Sick Boy shoots up with his girlfriend Lesley while their baby daughter, Dawn, dies of neglect in the room next door.

Gavin Ross as Renton.

This production from the UK, courtesy of the Kings Head and Andrew Kay, was presented in Adelaide in a low-ceiling bunker at Hindley Street station, a concrete lozenge with audience on both sides and a few spectators in the middle. Music throbbed on entry and laser lights flickered. The nightclub atmosphere set the evening up for some engaging spectator interaction and an appropriate sense of immediacy.

Touring a theatre show is unforgiving labour. The actors – all great – are working their tails off, often doing three a shows a day. This demanding schedule, plus the non-theatre space, means their voices are taking a battering. Dialogue down the opposite end of the venue was hard to follow, particularly when delivered in thick Scottish accents. Let’s hope the actors find more user-friendly venues on their travels. They deserve them.

At Trainspotting’s opening night, a festival-hungry audience was clearly looking for a good time. And for the first 50 minutes of this 75 minute production they got it. After that, as a friend said to me later “you don’t really enjoy this show, you experience it”.

I took my 13 year old son, even though it’s advertised for 16 and older. After the first scene I thought I’d made a terrible mistake and would have to leave. A few minutes later I realised I hadn’t. Modern drama is full of serial killers and predatory extraterrestrials, gigantic video games that suck your brains out, and armies of zombies that eat your flesh. There’s schlock horror every time you turn on Netflix.

Trainspotting is confronting in a different sense. It’s real. The characters in the play aren’t victims. They are witty, intelligent and self-empowered. But they are part of a society that doesn’t give a shit about them, and in which they can find no psychological or functional purchase.

T2 Trainspotting releases in Australia on February 23. It will be fascinating to see what Renton, Sick Boy, Spud and Begbie are doing today.

Trainspotting is showing at the Adelaide Festival Centre until March 19, and will be performed in Melbourne (March 22 – April 13) and Brisbane (April 19 – 22).