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catindabag · 3 months

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In your Au in the future who is Katniss Nepo Baby Everdeen mentor who is also her duet for her performance is it Haymitch, Effie or is it a capitol student a descendant of Sejanus and Coryo and what is Katniss usually like other than being way happier and pretty much getting everything she ever wanted and needed

Oh, Panem, Horn of Plenty. The crack!AU Everdeen timeline is gonna be a mess.😂

Fortunately, Katniss “Nepo Baby” Everdeen is not gonna be like her super famous crazy singing rainbow bird grand aunt (Lucy Gray) because our ✨Girl on Fire✨ will have the same serious personality as her canon self.

But she’s also going to volunteer steal poor little Prim’s spot (out of spite and for fun) as D12’s official ✨Panemvision Female Tribute✨💅.

Unfortunately, Catnip’s greatest rivals will be Glimmer (D1’s youngest and fairest opera singer), Cato (D2’s hottest theatre nerd and rock whispering prodigy) and Clove (D2’s youngest broadway musical genius).

Moreover, Peeta Mellark (who whistles like a pro) will be Katniss Everdeen’s official “duet partner” because her extremely gorgeous Capitol Mentor, Seginus Cadmus Plinth-Snow-Creed-Price (AKA: the gorgeous grandson of Coryo, Sejanus, Festus, and Persephone) got stuck in a dusty broom closet with poor sensitive Philip Anthony Ravinstill-Anderson (AKA: the wacky socialite grandson of Felix and Androcles).😅

Nevertheless, here are some other interesting “facts” in this weird timeline:

1. Primrose and Buttercup (the crusty cat) are the unapologetically ruthless founders and leaders of the infamous Anti-Katniss Everdeen Fan Club. #antivolunteer #realroseofD12

2. Poor Peeta had to fight a jealous Gale Hawthorne (via dance off battle) in order to defend his “rights” as D12’s official male Tribute for the upcoming Panemvision competition.

3. Crazy Lucy Gray married Panini Panlo for fun. She also had a lot of kids with him for fun.

4. Coryo and President Sejanus are still madly in love with each other even after the birth of their 35th grandchild.😍😂

5. Hilarius Heavensbee is the favorite nanny of Sejanus and Coryo’s grandchildren.

6. Glimmer is a very popular opera singer in D1 because of Facet and Velvereen’s influence.

7. Rue can’t sing to save her life because of Reaper Ash (but don’t ask why).😔

8. Foxface is the “Hannah Montana” of her District.

9. Brandy is still a self proclaimed werewolf.

10. Sejanus is still the President of Panem because of Coryo, Festus, Lizzie, Felix, and Clemmie’s collective insistence. #SejiPieforlife

11. Tigris is still a fashionista cheese merchant.

12. Mizzen the Gremlin and Percy Price are still the ruthless rulers of their Pizza Palace Empire.

13. Festus Creed still dumpster dives with Coryo and Pup for fun.

14. Effie Trinket is half Ravinstill.

15. Haymitch Abernathy’s Capitol Mentor, Cassius Perseus Plinth-Snow-Creed-Price is the oldest grandson of Sejanus, Coryo, Festus, and Persephone.

16. Finnick Odair’s Capitol Mentor, Faustina Pleione Creed-Price is the youngest daughter of Festus and Persephone.

17. Lysistrata is still the proud leader of the SnowPlinth Fan Club.

18. Dill is still the Mayor of D11.

19. Reaper Ash is still looking for “normalcy.”

20. Lamina is still crying because of Lucy Gray, Coral, and Mizzen.

21. Half of Sejanus and Coryo’s children and grandchildren have “Complete Heterochromia” for some reason (one blue, one brown).

22. The Plinth-Snow Dynasty is still the most powerful and influential family in Panem thanks to old scheming Strabo and the Grandma’am.

23. Mags and Mizzen are cousins.

24. Maude Ivory is still busy selling and reselling popcorn balls with Mrs. Everdeen (illegally).

25. One of Sejanus and Coryo’s gorgeous sons (Cepheus) married Panlo and Lucy Gray’s youngest daughter (Poppy) because of ✨love✨ political reasons.😏

#tbosas #crack post #snowplinth #snowjanus #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #lucy gray baird #festus creed #felix ravinstill #mizzen #coral #reaper ash #lysistrata vickers #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #primrose everdeen #finnick odair #effie trinket #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #ballad of songbirds and snakes #hunger games #president snow #crack ship #suzanne collins #thg #thg incorrect quotes #thg fanfiction #thg fic #tbosas fic #tbosas incorrect quotes

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