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#it wasnt a conscious decision
haemosexuality · 11 months
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im rewatching she-ra and naturally im gonna want to write about it a lot. starting by breaking down the catradora conflict origin story scene from s01e02 the sword part 2
people have said this before but the most important thing to keep in mind here is how different their understanding of whats going on is. theyre both approaching this with completely different views and so they misunderstand what the other means.
Adora: There's no time. We have to put a stop this.
Catra: What? Why?
Adora: Because this is a civilian town. Look around! These aren't insurgents. They're innocent people.
Catra: Yeah, sure. Innocent people who kidnapped a Horde officer. Now come on, let's get you back to the Fright Zone. Shadow Weaver is freaking out. [laughing] It'd be funny if she weren't such a terrible person.
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so immediately theres two things i wanna say about this part, about how catra reacts to stuff. first off, something we learn about catra throughout the whole show and especially in the portal-alternative-reality, is that shes big on Pretending Nothing Is Wrong. whenever shes feeling upset or angry about something, she will start joking around and acting like shes just totally super chill guys, dw ("Ugh, whatever. It's not like I even care. I just wanna get out of this dump at some point before I dieee of boredom). Shes acting like that in this scene. Adora was missing for hours, shadow weaver was breathing down her neck and threatening her, she was already worried adora might have left at this point. she cant let adora know how worried she was tho, so shes all jokes and fast paced conversation. To Adora, tho, it just looks like catra doesnt care, like she doesnt understand the gravity of the situation.
and the other thing is that honestly? I dont think catra does care. about the town, i mean. i think catra was ready for war in a way adora never was. theyre both seeing combat for the first time here, and adora hates it. training for war is completely different than being in the battlefield, and adora couldnt handle it. face to face with it she couldnt tolerate seeing people suffering and dying, houses being burned down, a whole village destroyed. when the horde brainwashed adora into thinking they were only doing the necessary to save etheria, she completely and fully believed it, and when faced with the reality of the horde she immediately realized how wrong that was. Catra, tho, could not care less. she never believed in what the horde said, she knew full well what the horde did, so this isnt a surprise for her. and i do think shes naturally a bit sadistic, or at least growing up among the violence of the horde made her so. either way, shes seeing battle here for the first time and shes completely fine with it. doesnt even spare it all a second glance. why would she care about these people she never met if the most important thing in the world is right here in front of her? (i think even if adora hadnt left that night and went into the battlefield as a force captain, she wouldve ended up deserting. she cant stand seeing people suffer and she cant stand not saving them. shes too good, too selfless for that. catra isnt.) (also she is so ready to kill at all times. she loves violence. i once saw someone say how shadow weaver thought adora was the "cutthroat, ruthless warrior" when that was actually catra and they were totally right)
adora is also trying something futile here, she doesnt need to explain to catra that the horde is bad and hurts innocent ppl because catra has known that all her life
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Adora: Catra, no. I can't go back. Not until the Horde leaves this town alone. You have to help me.
Catra: What are you saying?
Adora: I’m saying, this is wrong. They've been lying to us, manipulating us. Hordak, Shadow Weaver, all of them.
Catra: Duh! Did ya just figure that out? Manipulation is Shadow Weaver's whole thing. She's been messing with our heads since we were kids.
(the captions in the pics are slightly wrong, nvm that.) everything i said before. adora just realized all of this, while catra has always known, probably because the abuse adora suffered was more manipulation-and-brainwashing, while shadow weaver always made clear to catra that she didnt give a shit about her, so she suffered physical abuse with little attempt to convince her this was fine.
the "what are you saying?" is one of the things that show how different their perspective is. adora is talking about going against the horde and helping the town, while catra immediately gets more personal. what do you mean? are you saying that you might leave the horde? leave me?
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Adora: How could you possibly be okay with that?
adora means, how could you be ok with the horde lying about its actions, and killing innocent people? how could you be ok with the horde raising us to do the same? and catra hears, how could you be ok with shadow weaver and hordak abusing us?
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Catra: Because, it doesn't matter what they do. The two of us look out for each other. And soon we'll be calling the shots. Now come on, can we go home already?
catra replies: because, i love you. because you have my back and i have yours. because nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other, remember? and soon enough, we'll be powerful enough that they cant hurt us anymore. Adora hears, because i dont care about these people dying, the only thing thats important is you and i. and anyways, soon its gonna be Us killing them, isnt that good? lets go back home to the evil murder place.
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Adora: I'm not going home, Catra. I can't. Not after everything I've seen. Come with me. You don't have to go back there. We can fix this.
adora says: im starting to realize now how wrong i was about everything. we're not the good guys, and i cant stand for that. i cant stand around and watch people get hurt. i cant stand around and watch you get hurt. lets leave, together, and have a better life, please. lets do the right thing.
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Catra: Are you kidding? You've known these people for, what, a couple of hours? And now you're just gonna throw everything away for them?
catra hears, shes willing to leave me. after everything i did for her, all that i took, all of these years of us being together, she would still leave me. she would break our promise. she would leave me behind.
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and then she straight up electrocutes adora. ok
she says it was a reflex, but i dont know if i believe her. i dont think she likes hurting adora (not physically. not by this point, anyways), but i do think that shes the type to lash out when upset and immediately regret it, then feel guily about it. which just makes her more upset. :(
Catra: Oh, man. That was a lot stronger than I thought. Are you okay?
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Adora: Why are you doing this?
Catra: Because you left me! And if I don't bring you back, Shadow Weaver’s gonna have my head. So, enough with your weird little identity crisis and let's go home already. Or do I need to zap you again?
thats the last time they talk. adora gets teleported away by glimmer, and when they see each other again, its clear that they both made their choice.
the moment adora showed catra she was willing to leave her, there was no coming back for them. because catra would never get over that. she'd spend all her life in that hellscape, putting up with abuse and bullying and probably so much more we dont get to see, because of the promise adora made her. and, in her eyes, adora was ready to leave her on the first opportunity that came up. that hurt. that broke her. and that released something really ugly inside of her.
cue in 2,5 years of homoerotic rivalry and trauma. ok post over if you read this i hope you liked it <3 bye
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sparklecarehospital · 5 months
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💕 Sparklecare update 💕
VOL 4: Pages 85-87 ✨ Link to update
🎨 Promo art by @boxafunfi
✨ Patreon! ✨ Updates Mondays & Thursdays
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Both Kamado and Volo suck, the difference is that Volo gets sent to gay baby jail and Kamado to “you remind me too much of my shitty dad for me to actually look at your actions from a justified pov” jail.
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fathermolecule · 17 days
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[reading shoujo manga] sighs dreamily. i wish i knew what romantic love felt like
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mgs3dickeater · 6 months
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ohh
#i very rarely talk about stuff like this because i tend to be a very personal person on social media but#ive only really just realized that i guess its true most people will let things fade away on purpose if they dont deem the friend important#and that theyre not like me and will be happy to jump right back into conversation after not speaking for years#ill do anything to keep a friendship and im starting to think thats a problem? that its abnormal?#i dont know. ive always been the one reaching out to try to rekindle something. and after so many turn downs and no effort to hold#conversation i really dont have much of an option to assume that its being done on purpose#believe me im really not the type to immediately assume negative intention in fact quite the opposite#which again... i cant really ever tell when im unwanted versus just feeling unwanted#i think the worst thing is that looking back on conversation i wasnt always the best friend. not the best conversation partner#so then naturally ive got to be like... well... youve made your bed‚ i suppose#its really funny how many times in my life ive found myself thinking 'i really wish i had the insight back then that i do now'#unfortunately it was hardly ever a conscious decision i ever made to act like that. but saying i didnt know any better feels like a cop out#i really did try to know better‚ though. growing up felt like violently clawing my way into trying to understand anyone and everything#i dont know. a lot to think about
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poorlittlevampire · 8 months
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to be honest i make really bad food choices and then feel really sick and im like omg nooooo whaaaaat??? how could this happen why does my stomach hurt????????
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road2manjuumaster · 1 year
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ok so what if. hear me out on this one. midoteto suicide pact.
#ok so maybe i saw some translations from the current event#and i mean. i think constantly about how in motor show he joked that he 'wasnt any good at being depressed'#i feel like tetora doesnt really know about this kinda stuff and has a very narrow view of what depression is#like hes the type to think depression and being suicidal are the same thing. that you cannot be depressed if you dont wanna die.#which is why hes 'not good' at it#he DOESNT wanna die#at least he doesnt think he does#but he says in this event that if hes not loved or even liked he has no reason to exist.#and with everything rst has been thru with chiaki making everything a chiaki problem and not a rst problem and tetora#taking the fall for it more often than not as the leader of the yumenosaki division who is probably the most affected by those decisions#his help being constantly shrugged off by someone whos supposed to value teamwork above all else#that GETS to a guy#it gives the impression that he ISNT cared for. that he ISNT loved or liked or important to people.#and thats one of the worst side effects of chiakis stubbornness.#and with midori nothing ever seems to go in his favor#he was unwillingly put in the idol course because of his looks which hes super self conscious about#dude skips meals and avoids certain food groups in hopes he'll stunt his growth and probably has ever since he started growing like this#his genes failed him and now hes stuck in a position he never wanted to be in. he gets a lot of modeling work#which he hates bc it brings more attention to his looks#he was pulled into rst bc he had to go somewhere by a man with a hero complex as tall as midori#he stayed more out of convenience than anything. he stayed so chiaki wouldn't make a fuss about it#and while he did come to genuinely enjoy being an idol and came to love his unitmates#he still feels that inferiority constantly#and i think#in an emo way#it would be poetic if they felt they were the only people who would miss them if they died#so they die in each others company alone so that they arent without the one person who cares for them#ensemble stars#enstars#tetora nagumo
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rohirric-hunter · 2 years
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Yesterday I was talking to my mom and An ad came on the radio that was like, "Parents should know if their kids are autistic! Symptoms include if they play by themselves and don't respond to their name," and I started to rip the ad a new one for listing two of what I consider non-indicative symptoms, since there are lots of reasons why people would do one or both of those things that could have nothing to do with autism, and my mom said, "But sometimes they really don't respond to their name!" because she thought I was saying it wasn't a real symptom. I said, "I didn't respond to my name for three years!" and there was just a very long silence between us and then my mom said, "Hm."
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brunetteaura · 1 year
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cant believe im actually saying this but trying to be a normal person by Doing things like working out studying without music eating healthy meditating and walking 10k+ steps per day actually helps you become one. no i know its crazy
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ebonyforged · 2 years
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i cant believe ebony started out as a cagey, rude, manipulative, and insecure little shit and i rebooted her into a friendly, chill, confident little shit that actually hates manipulation
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ttearsofthekingdom · 2 years
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well you guys dont even boycott chik-fil-a so
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undermycoat · 7 months
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writing is genuinely so fun i feel craaaazy
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greensupremetangerine · 10 months
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PSA that harassing, bullying, and kicking a person out of a fandom is toxic behavior. A difference in opinions does not warrant anonymous hate, and claiming it wasnt that bad and there's no proof because they didn't post the hate doesn't retract the fact that something happened to make them deactivate their account.
Fandoms are supposed to be places of community, enjoyment, and celebration of a mutually liked piece of media. There isn't room for hate, because the concept of a fandom does not naturally account for it.
If someone says something you dont like, it does not give you the right or responsibility to "put them in their place" or "teach them what's right" or whatever. A person is allowed to have their own thoughts and opinions. You can retort, discuss, disagree, hell you can even block them, but for the love of god don't single them out and make them a villain. It doesn't automatically make you the right side if they stop talking.
Also, the anonymous button isn't for keeping the blame off yourself. It's not for sending a dozen death threats while still looking pretty and proper on your blog. The person recieving anons has no way to disengage from the conversation. They cannot block, the best they can do is disable anons and stop the kind, shy people from asking silly questions or hope you give up and stop. The last resort is completely deleting your account, and again, its not a sign of your victory, it's a sign of the fandom' loss, and it is a sign that you are the vicious aggressor.
If youre struggling to stop doing these things, by no means am I a saint or a therapist, but removing yourself from the situation and letting yourself breathe, even for a moment, will probably help a lot with your relationships and mental health. I'm a believer that people can change and it is in human nature to do so, even if it's hard. It's a conscious decision to be a good person (I'm not calling you evil) and being a kind person is fulfilling in amazing ways.
tl;dr don't harass people :( it doesn't give you the high ground and it makes the fandom a worse place.
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creatrixanimi · 2 months
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as a submas fan who recently got into hazbin I would absolutely love to hear your au thoughts!!!!
Ok ill have to try to write out everything i've got so far!
So the original premise was that ingo and emmet got mixed up and ingo got sent to hell instead of emmet as an oopsie (emmet didnt do anything overly bad in life but heaven/hell stuff is so arbitrary they probably just made a weird decision somewhere down the line lol) but i thinkkk i have switched it to Ingo gets sent to hell because Volo successfully sacrificed him in a ritual and emmet, while dying in the same place, wasnt actually part of it so normal rules still applied to him. Ingo's soul is all messed up and corrupted because of the ritual which caused his amnesia. Emmet finds out about Ingo being sent to hell after he cant find ingo anywhere in heaven and rightfully gets upset at heaven's lack of action because he see's ingo's situation as a huge injustice. So Emmet's whole thing is basically just causing problems until he finds his way to hell and reunites with ingo.
Ingo's situation is where the fun is lol. So he wakes up after spawning in hell and is just a total odd-ball. Half because he doesnt remember ANYTHING from before he died. Maybe not even his name? Which is weird. And also because he's a total sweetheart. No one can figure out why he's even there because it's not like he's a hellborn so he must have done something to end up in hell. After a brief period of wandering around aimlessly, Lady Sneasler, who is an overlord in this au, kinda adopts him and takes him places because she thinks hes so charming and adorable. Melli is just a guy that hangs around lady sneasler even though he acts like he doesnt like her? She's the poison overlord (kinda like an aqua tofana situation for sneasler) and melli is a poison guy. So they kinda just fall into the same group. So they both become friends of Ingo. After a while of character introductions and some brief fun stuff like Sneasler getting Ingo to do all kinds of fun stuff he probably wouldnt do on his own (like the clubbing thing lmao) Ingo has his first blackout, probably triggered by some sort of memory thing, and its kinda terrifying. When he has those blackouts he shifts into his full demon form and his power goes haywire causing a lot of destruction. Its a huge shock because normally regular sinner demons dont really have much in terms of inherent power and also because Ingo cant actually use his powers while conscious so there was no sign of him being capable of that level of chaos. Anyway, after he has his little blackout his body sustains damage from exerting that kind of power and is kinda down for the count for a while afterwards. His story from there on is figuring out what is going on with him and trying to stop those blackouts before it either destroys him or a good chunk of the city, whichever comes first lmao. Sneasler is kinda just there to reign in ingo and melli she just loves a good show lol Melli is kinda where i wanna connect it more to the existing hazbin characters/storyline. Because this is lowkey more of a crossover. He accidentally becomes charlie's new pet project which no one is a fan of 😂 melli did not volunteer for this at all but his character arc is learning to make friends and care about other people after pushing people away for so long because he's a huge ball of self-hatred. He's kinda perfect for the "i can fix him" thing the hotel is all about. SO he's stuck learning to become a better person and being the narrative connection back to the core of the actual show lmao. Not sure if they ever even stay at the hotel. Maybe ingo and melli could flip flop between sneasler's place and the hotel. They dont actually have places of their own so its one or the other. In terms of intra character interactions i think its like this (this is prolly set post-s1 so no sir pentious): Charlie: thinks ingo is nice, wants to fix melli and is working with ingo to do this. Her relationship w sneasler is similar to rosie in my head. Alastor: finds Ingo somewhat threatening because Ingo can read him like a book. would otherwise find him pleasant but because he has a hard time keeping up his mysterious scary image around him he avoids him if possible. Ingo really likes him because "he reminds him of someone but he cant put a finger on it", will teleport away if melli is in the vicinity, finds sneasler charming. would gossip with her 10/10. When emmet shows up they try to kill each other which is entirely unsurprising. Everyone else in the hotel is more or less "theres something not right about that ingo guy but he's nice enough i guess", "FUCK melli get him OUT OF HERE", and "lady sneasler is chill" and when emmet shows up theyre just like "oh this explains why he likes alastor so much. Now theres TWO OF THEM." I would like to develop the other character's opinions on the situation more but this is getting. so so long. misc other character stuff: 
Lady sneasler still has sneasels, usually 3 of them. they just have tiny wings and horns but otherwise look like regular sneasels. No clue what their deal is they just exist. 
Rosie and Sneasler get along great. they are kinda similar but fill different power-niches in hell. 
Rosie finds ingo SO charming. She loves his odd vintage flair despite literally dying like. in the 2020s lol. He's very popular in cannibal town because he's a train freak and edwardians love trains. He takes the cute edwardian cannibal kiddies on train rides.
im not really sure what goes on with emmet in this au i just know he's having a shit time of it and eventually finds ingo. I havent decided if he actually falls or just leaves heaven because it sucks and no one cares enough to stop him. Also only slightly related but i actually have a voice-canon for him which is will wood which works great for this au lmao. Also emmet plays killer jazz piano and alastor is so mad about it because its actually good.
emmet and alastor dont really have all that much in common besides the smile thing but its just enough for them to beef over it. really its a similar feud as alastor and lucifer, alastor sees emmet as a threat both because of his power and the smile thing and emmet doesnt like that ingo is following alastor around like a lost puppy. emmet is def way less mysterious, he's just pissed that his brother is suffering even if ingo doesnt seem to notice his own problems.
volo doesnt really come back up in this au because he's still alive. just imagine that akari is kicking his ass in the living world or something lmao. 
i cant decide if pokemon exist in this universe. It would be funny tho to have chandelure exist in a world where souls are like whole ass people who can die for a second time. worlds nicest guy's pet lamp eats people until theyre perma-dead for breakfast.
Elesa (and probably also drayden and iris depening on your headcanons) are very sad :( i like emmet/elesa so it makes it extra hard on elesa tho. there is no solution for this.
not sure what the arceus situation is here. hazbin as far as i know doesnt have a canon god design so for all we know god could be a dumbass llama i guess. its doesnt really matter besides stylizing volo's ritual
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alicentsgf · 1 year
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i think saying 'rhaenyra was afraid for baby joffrey' is such a huge misread of that scene and kind of a disservice to rhaenyra honestly. like that is not what was happening. it was all about power and the amount of influence they hold over viserys. alicent was showing rhaenyra what she had the power to do whilst also indicating that she was aware of her childrens true parentage. to me it seems clear alicent had been consistently using the strong boys as a way to put pressure on rhaenyra to concede her claim. but rhaenyra refused to be indimidated and immediately exercised her own power and won. she didnt have to get up and take joffrey herself, she wasnt afraid for him, rhaenyra made a conscious descision to rise to meet alicent's challenge. she was (very understandably given the circumstances/her pov) antagonising alicent right back.
so how can it be that all those years alicent was "abusing" rhaenyra when we see very clearly there would need to be different circumstances for that. a power imbalance or some kind of manipulation that isnt reciprocal. no, it was just a feud guys. they were feuding. alicent ranks higher technically but rhaenyra so firmly holding viserys favour evens that out. rhaenyra making decisions that endanger the people around her and alicent subsequently being a bitch to her about it doesnt make anyone abusive. its just two women having the most prolonged, fraught, not-so-covert confrontation in westerosi history. rhaenyra being so distressed by all of it that she leaves for dragonstone doesnt mean she was The victim, there is no victim, or if there is its either both or neither - they are literally both at the end of their tethers - we definitely see alicent at her most neurotic during this time period as a result of rhaenyra and viserys actions. who was more justified in their motivations is at least somewhat subject to perspective and interpretation but the fact is.... we see rhaenyra and alicent both abuse their power to act against the other.
and thats the point. they are narrative foils. they exist parallel to each other. respresentative the two types of womanhood this society overwhelming allows for; the hostage or the whore. that neither is inherently good or bad or right or wrong is important. what rhaenyra wants for herself isnt wrong, she should be allowed to freely experience love and desire, but given the context how she goes about that comes across short-sighted and often selfish. likewise, what alicent "wants" is demonstrably damaging to herself and other women, but she pursues it out of fear, trying to protect herself and her family and other women (as we see with dyana) from a world she understands all too well. for either of these women to be an abuser and the other the victim would be damaging what is indisputably the core element of their stories.
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