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giddlygoat · 1 year

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eight hours | the stanley parable fic

[ 2527 words • fluff, could be seen as ship or platonic • oneshot; may be continued ]

stanley’s tired. he just wants to get a good night’s sleep. the narrator eventually obliges, even if he doesn’t fully understand stanley’s desire to lay unconscious for eight hours.

…

“stanley, what in the world are you doing?”

usually, the narrator could wait patiently for stanley to leave his office before beginning their new run. he would use this short period as a sort of mental refresher, preparing himself for the adventure ahead and taking a moment of quiet to himself. stanley always left eventually, often in moments, but something was holding them up. he had seemingly crawled under his desk with his back to the corner in a curled up position that could only be so comfortable.

“are you feeling unwell? you’ve been laying there for nearly half an hour now.” the narrator recognized the similarities between stanley’s display and general human tendencies regarding sleep, although he had not seen him asleep very often at all. he knew for a fact that stanley didn’t even require sleep.

stanley only shifted slightly, adjusting the arm folded under his head. he made no effort to explain himself, or address the narrator at all, for that matter.

“well, as long as you’ve not contracted some sort of deadly virus or something, i suppose i can’t stop you from sleeping my precious time away.”

stanley’s face crinkled up just slightly, just for a second. the narrator felt a small zip of amusement through him. “yes, i suppose i should leave you to it. not like we have anything better to be doing right now… like exploring the surprise i made for you.”

stanley did not perk up as the narrator had expected. that was strange; he was certain telling people that there’s a surprise to look forward to was supposed to be a sure way of getting their attention.

“i said,” the narrator cleared his throat for emphasis. “you’ll miss your special surprise.”

stanley burrowed his head deeper in his arms, as if that could block out the disembodied voice.

the narrator sighed in exasperation. “come on, stanley, work with me here. is the mystery not enticing enough for you? what about i drop hints, or we play a game of hot and cold?”

stanley did not move. at this point, the narrator knew very well that stanley would not be able to ignore him enough to fall asleep, and he deduced that his protagonist was simply ‘playing dead’ in the hopes that the narrator would get bored and flit off as if he had better things to be doing.

the narrator almost chuckled at the notion. he would not break that easily.

“look, stanley - i will be straight with you. i’m not going to stop pestering you until you leave that office. i really do have a surprise for you, something new - i really think you’ll love it! but you’re going to have to move in order to actually enjoy it.” a small prick of anxiety made itself known within the narrator. even when stanley didn’t cooperate, he would always move eventually. there had never been a time that the narrator was unable to motivate stanley to move eventually, either by persuasion, reverse psychology, or brute force annoyance.

yes, he was sure of it. stanley had never stopped moving for more than an hour or so, and even on this rare occasion, it was with some purpose or goal in mind. something in the narrator’s subconscious urged him to reassure this thought thoroughly.

stanley sighed, sluggishly rolling his head so that an eye emerged from his pillow of arms. he blinked slowly at nothing.

“erm… please?” it felt awfully silly to say, and the narrator decided right then that he didn’t particularly enjoy it.

however, it seemed to convince stanley. he sighed, crawled out from under his desk and stretched out, using his chair for balance.

“yes! i promise you will not-“

[i want to sleep.] stanley signed. he had an air of determination about him. though, the narrator wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen him without that hard-headed aura.

“sleep? why on earth would you desire to exercise the most boring of human functions?”

stanley paused for a moment to consider whether or not this even counted as ‘earth’ before deciding that topic was a can of worms he wasn’t ready to open. he also decided that pointing out that sleep could actually be fun and fascinating among a dozen other pleasant side effects probably wouldn’t be useful, considering who he was talking to.

so instead, he signed [i’m tired.]

the narrator scoffed. “no, you’re not. that’s physically impossible; i didn’t even code natural fatigue into you to begin with.”

stanley grimaced. he wasn’t sure how to respond to that, especially not with the newfound bitter taste in his mouth.

“if you’re just bored of the content so far, then i just offered you a solution. the surprise, remember?”

stanley ground his teeth slowly, weighing his options. the narrator was not understanding him. this was a kind of bone deep, all-consuming exhaustion that had been due for a long, long time. his body didn’t have to ache for his mind to feel like a wet paper bag stuck to a parking lot. he was simply at his limit.

but, he also didn’t have a lot of options.

[if i come with you, will you let me sleep afterwards?] stanley was unsure of how to explain himself. despite the justification for anger in his situation, he felt nervous more than anything. he was desperate - he’d take what he could get.

“sure, you can take a nap after you see the surprise.”

stanley pinched the bridge of his nose. [no. i mean a deep sleep.]

there was a very loud, very brief moment of silence. “…for how long?”

stanley almost laughed. if he hadn’t already been dealing with this crap for so long, he might not have believed that he was bargaining the number of hours he got to sleep with some ignorant prick in the ceiling.

[a night’s sleep. like eight hours.]

the narrator whistled, and stanley swore he heard the gentle shift of a rolling chair on the floor. “eight hours? that’s quite a lot, stanley. i’m not sure if i can swing that.”

stanley made no effort to hide the obvious irritation on his face. [yes you can. you’ve swung harder for much less.]

“well, what am i supposed to do for eight hours? i don’t exactly have a surplus of protagonists laying around at my disposable. i assure you, if i did, i would have given up on you ages ago.”

[thanks.] stanley rolled his eyes.

“gratitude is not the appropriate response here, stanley. that was a dig at your insufferable nature and reckless attitude.”

stanley might have signed something in response if his hands weren’t busy holding his head. he drug them down his face, groaning in frustration. [please, let’s just get this over with.]

“wonderful!” the narrator clapped. “right this way, stanley.” a familiar yellow arrow appeared on the floor before stanley, snaking through a newly opened door. the smile in his voice was back. stanley wished he had something to smile about too.

“you won’t regret this. i made this just for you, you know.” the narrator continued to hype up the surprise stanley tried not to get his hopes up about. knowing the narrator, it was probably something underwhelming and useless, like another mostly infinite hole or a new closet.

stanley followed the adventure line in no hurry. he allowed himself to fantasize about something beautiful and gratifying. the narrator occasionally rattled on about all the effort that went into this spectacular mystery gift, and how brilliant it was, and how ecstatic stanley would be upon seeing it.

stanley imagined a stretching, open field surrounded by a horizon of trees and distant green hills. wind tickled his ears and sunshine kissed his face as he walked in the direction of his choice. no limits, no rules, no voice.

the sluggish pace he progressed at did not escape the narrator’s notice. it either meant he was simply savoring every delicious moment of suspense or he wasn’t excited about his surprise, and something inclined the narrator to believe it was the latter.

yes, upon closer inspection, stanley didn’t look happy at all. it then struck the narrator quite suddenly that stanley’s claims of tiredness from earlier were starkly evident on his features. he really did look exhausted.

the narrator contemplated his surprise. perhaps the new closet he had cooked up would not please stanley as he had previously hoped. he knew stanley loved closets - there was no doubt about it, but he just didn’t seem to be in a closet exploring kind of mood.

well, they were only paces from their destination now. the narrator had to act fast.

“erm, hold on, stanley.”

before stanley rose a brick wall, haphazardly slapped in last second. stanley took a step back, scratching his head.

“let’s see… hold on, i just have to make a few minor adjustments. i realized my design wasn’t quite perfect and i really should present you with only the best.” the narrator hummed absentmindedly as he hastily constructed a new room in the closet’s place, digging through assets and arranging everything just so.

stanley yawned slowly, unaffected.

“right… there we go! sorry about that, right this way.” the narrator lowered the brick wall once more, and stanley followed the adventure line down to the end of a forgettable hallway. the door at the end was a deep green. stanley had to admit, the new splash of color was easy on the eyes.

“well, what are you waiting for? go on,” the narrator urged stanley inside, anxious to see his reaction. stanley sighed, mentally preparing himself for disappointment. he twisted the knob and stepped inside.

“oh, isn’t it just beautiful?” the narrator said dreamily.

stanley had to pick his jaw off the floor. it… really was beautiful. he found himself in an expansive greenhouse surrounded by big leafy plants and frosted glass panes on every side. the floor was laid with swirling patterns in red brick and white stones.

what caught stanley’s eye the most, however, was the enormous bed in the center of the greenhouse. a circular sheer curtain shrouded the bed in a hazy green. stanley was moving towards it before he could think.

“look, i’ve thought about what you said, and i think perhaps… i haven’t been the most accommodating. let me make it up to you.” the sheer curtain rolled back before stanley’s eyes, and he realized the comforter was fashioned to look like a lush moss carpet. he reached out and pet the fluffy surface, unable to believe what he was seeing. it felt marvelous.

“you can have eight hours in here. oh, and i almost forgot-“ stanley only realized it had been silent when suddenly the sound of rain on the roof swelled around him. he looked at the foggy windows to see the color of the sky had darkened to a pleasant dusty purple.

“there we go! perfect sleeping conditions. now, wasn’t that surprise worth it?” the narrator waited for stanley to move. he just stayed there frozen, his hand in the shaggy fluff of the comforter.

“…stanley?” this was unusual. something about the situation inspired a prick of anxiety within the narrator.

but sure enough, stanley’s taut shoulders softened, his hand retracting from the blanket. he looked around the greenhouse slowly, letting his eyes snag on every little detail among the abundant plant life.

had the narrator really created all of this just for him? just for this occasion? stanley gulped, inhaling deeply. the air felt richer and damper. his eyes stung.

he didn’t bother signing. he unbuckled his belt, pushing off his slacks, and unbuttoned his shirt enough to pull it over his head and throw it unceremoniously to the floor. then he dove under the covers, eagerly wrapping himself up in the heavenly softness of the comforter.

the narrator sputtered quietly at the sudden display, clearing his throat. he supposed that was a yes. “well, i suppose i should leave you to it, now.” he said rather awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed.

stanley’s eyes washed over the ceiling, watching the rain patter and roll on the glass above him. he finally worked up the determination to pull his arms out from under the covers once more in order to sign. [what are you going to do?] he asked out of curiosity more than anything.

the narrator hadn’t expected stanley to say anything after all. to be perfectly honest, he didn’t have a clue. and in the vein of honestly, he didn’t particularly want to leave. he had just put this place together; it would only make sense to stay and admire it. just a bit longer.

[are you there?] stanley signed after a moment. the narrator realized he had not responded. “ah, yes, of course. uhm… i was actually just contemplating that. i think i rather like this place, and i’m not particularly anxious to leave yet - if that’s quite alright with you.”

a small smile grew on stanley’s face. the narrator studied it closely. [it’s very nice. thank you.] as if to prove his point, stanley gathered up the bunched up comforter in his arms and snuggled beneath it. the narrator studied this closely as well. stanley looked so… content. he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about that.

“you’re very welcome, stanley.” he smiled despite himself. maybe stanley would finally understand that the narrator had his best interest in mind after this. yes, surely he would take a lesson from this.

somehow, watching stanley burrow into the cozy cocoon of his blanket made the narrator feel inclined to keep those sentiments to himself for now.

several moments passed by, and stanley’s eyes had closed, the rise and fall of his chest slowing. the narrator had to admit, the sound of the rain was quite relaxing. he knew if stanley wasn’t asleep by now it was only a matter of time, and then it would be eight hours of nothing.

perhaps the narrator would leave at some point to work on new areas or flesh out his story. but until then, he found that he wasn’t bored. quite the opposite, really. watching stanley sleep was fascinating. seeing him at peace was a rare thing.

maybe the narrator had been too harsh on him. what good is a protagonist who’s sick of his own story? the narrator toyed with the idea of allowing stanley to visit this place regularly. it could be good for morale, and give the narrator ample time to perfect his new ideas. yes, he would certainly consider it.

until then, stanley was fast asleep, and the narrator suddenly had no one to talk to. he’d never understood the appeal of sleep, as it just eats up valuable time, but seeing stanley in this state inspired curiosity in the narrator. it looked cozy. he found himself wondering what that might feel like.

these thoughts would zip through the narrator’s mind as he flitted around his maps, making improvements to his plots here and there. eight hours would pass slowly and quietly, and the narrator found that his pondering kept the inherit bore of it all at bay.

#my fics #the stanley parable #tsp #stanley tsp #the narrator tsp #stannarrator #tsp fic #uhhh i don’t share fics often and i’m nervous lol. hi. i don’t have a beta reader i just try to spellcheck and perfect all my own stuff #which is why i hardly ever finish fics rip shsjdndnn #i know this one doesn’t have a super satisfying ending. i meant to like. make more. but i know if i wait to post it it’ll never happen #so here! enjoy whatever this is lol #oh and i know stanley technically has apartments with beds in the game but.#this is actually inspired by my mom’s greenhouse which is enormous and has a full size bed in it!#and it’s actually the deepest most peaceful sleep of your life believe me. it’s so rad. so i wanted stanley to have that #he deserves it <3

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yumeurl · 13 days

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⚡️🐍⚡️ is so hard to like cuz ud wanna chill and think abt how to make them work but some of the ppl in it are so annoying that they sadly make u think of other pairs instead😭 like genuinely idc if u depict harry as the bottomest submissive omega ever or daddy dom top tom, if i have anything to say abt that ill talk abt it to my friends in private, cuz u do are allowed to rant without attacking ppl yakno. but i do have problems when they go in places they shouldnt be in (like those who like botTom or even switch ⚡️🐍⚡️ or even lit w a neighboring ship like ⚡️🍏) or annoyingly vague in twt

like bro 1. ure in hp how are u taking things so seriously for a book series w 84935 problems 2. 🐍⚡️ in particular has so many great artists and writers are u rly gonna spend ur time on things u Know u dislike and then shit on it when u discover that its still a thing u dislike

#like i dislike depictions of the couple being so devastatingly inlove w each other cuz theyre meant to be or whatever #i think even w non serious settings ill still depict them as two ppl who cant ever seem to agree on things #and fight alot #but im not gonna go and demand ppl to do that depiction instead #cuz at the end of the day the most important opinion that i value is mine LOL #and probab waifs #im ranting cuz this has been building up lately #not the anger but my tendency to yap #ive never met a group of ppl so pathetic and so insecure abt things they like #well thats a lie ive seen them in aph lmfaoo #u have such wide array of artists and writers and even fans willing to talk abt top tom and bot harry #id be lucky to get even a glimpse of switch tom much less botTom #looking for fics for this pair is lit a challenge cuz i just cant handle top tom #so wtf u complainin abt. cuz 10 ppl dont want top tom or bot harry? fmkdmgldmg #hp #rambles #if u read this godbless

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kithj · 9 months

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my disgraced monk turned street fighter tiefling named mercy :3c

#every companion is obsessed with her she has been propositioned by every single one. her life is so hard #but she is kissing karlach <3 #i forgot the scar on her face but eh...#bg3 #mercy #the original mercy. LOL #now a default name in tnp #my art #she likes bugs. hence the bug tattoos #also got her wing tattoos from like. clipart stock cus im bad at desinging them #and her horns are doing whatever they want idk i cant draw that mdfsdkfh #her pinterest board goes back like 5 yrs.... she was meant for a dnd campaign that never happened #so bg3 is perfect to resurrect her

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laniidae-passerine · 7 months

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I think some of you guys hate Izzy more than you ever liked Ed and no amount of “he’s my special babygirllll 💞 she’s just a sparkle princess you can’t hold her accountable for anything 🥰✨” posts are gonna be able to hide that

#like yeah nice try using the brown dude as a shield for your hate campaign or whatever but it isn’t working lol #I’m sure they kinda like Ed. but they sure don’t like Ed as much as they like hating on Izzy #who Ed loves btw. let’s just circle back there sometime they love each other. eat dirt maybe #I adore Ed and I love how nuanced and messy his breakdown was #how his actions aren’t motivated by being Evil but at the same time his actions are his own #and they’re undeniably fucked up to the nth degree and he has to own them #because it’s kinda relatable tbh!! I’ve never been that horrid but I’m a person and I’ve fucked up before #and even if I was struggling deeply at the time because of other’s behaviours towards me it was me who did those things #and I had to own them. and grow from it #and my queerness and brownness and trauma didn’t make me exempt from growing and being responsible #which also meant I’m not exempt from personhood and growing and bettering myself and loving myself and all the good that comes with humanity #Ed did fucked up horrible things to the crew and Izzy. and if you can’t acknowledge them for what they are and how awful they are #then you can’t really acknowledge Ed as a character and person beyond the limited ideal you made of him in your head. what he did was wrong #and that’s not alright. but it’s okay. because we know he’s gonna have to grow. that’s the bit people who really care are looking forward to #I’m tagging this #the izcourse #because I kinda feel like it’s overlapping with really shitty Ed takes and meta

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bandtrees · 3 months

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for the warriors ask game :D

🗺 : first map you ever watched?

🖼 : first amv/pmv you ever watched?

(I used to watch MAPs religiously those are my jam)

yay thank you! warriors ask game except the questions are all weird and niche as hell!

know: my memory is bad. i've been into wc for... well over a decade now, so these are probably not accurate xP my first warriors video was i believe a spoof video about ashfur and squirrelflight, but my first map and amv? uhhh unsure!

🗺 : first map you ever watched? - i didn't actively watch maps as a small kid, or at least i don't think i did? the first map that i entirely remember watching was during my second major warriors phase by the time i was closer to... 15 maybe?? as opposed to my earliest memories of wc which are from when i was 10 or younger lol. little fang, which is making me genuinely super misty eyed to rewatch, it's just so so good, from the style to the designs to how well it gets into jayfeather and his family with only animation and music, the composition of every part is so good, the designs, all of it. the sole reason little fang is one of my favorite songs to this day it might, miiight, have also been evelyn evelyn? that one was certainly one of the first maps i ever watched that stuck with me. the dovewing kinnie has entered chat

🖼 : first amv/pmv you ever watched? - i cannot remember. i watched sooo many amvs as a kid. not my FIRST amv, probably, but one of the earliest i recall is ashfur's revenge, which is delighting me so much to rewatch. this one was formative for me, i miss the style of flash-animated warriors amvs that (obviously:() aren't around anymore. i also have such a soft spot for tigerclaw is not one of thunderclan, one i was thinking about the Entire Time i was writing the exile scene in spottedfur's pride lol. i still love it so much, this is my first time rewatching it in like... a decade, im sure. its so good. im kind of blown away as i rewatch these that they ARE as good as they are, cuz i feel like it's common in the warriors fandom to treat old amvs as some cringeworthy lost art (in general i have strong opinions on how (unintentionally)cruel the internet starts being to things as soon as they enter "nostalgia" territory) - but there's still, like, genuine talent in these. there's a reason these amvs were as popular as they were, and not because we were all cringe 10 year olds who didn't know better, lol. also reminds me of tigerstar and the dog pack(be prepared) - which is one i have the most vivid memory of watching on my family computer, hehe. in general i love corvus katana's stuff, past and current oh my god i will never get this ask posted because i keep remembering ones that helped, like, form a lobe of my brain growing up. HOW TO SAVE BLUESTAR'S LIFE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!! I AM TOTALLY NOT CRYING REWATCHING IT. YOU ARE. YOU ARE. cant believe i had a phase where i hated bluestar - i think everyone did because they spontaneously realized she was imperfect, immoral even at times, and made mistakes but hadn't developed the media comprehension to realize she was... actually meant to be complex and troubled and not just a perfect leader. god. bluestar. god. god. g (im also gonna use this question as a chance to gush about old amvs that i remember that are unfortunately lost to time: a hollyleaf one to hurricane by thirty seconds to mars (!!!! THIS ONE WAS SO FORMATIVE BUT IM LIKE 80% SURE ITS LOST MEDIA), bluestar heart heart head (PLEASE tell me im not the only one who remembers this one!!! i was devastated to learn it wasn't iconic or reuploaded anywhere (as much as i also think, again, in the nostalgia-sense, people act entitled to things like old amvs or people's art or whatever else)), NIGHTCLOUD GIRL WITH ONE EYE CHANGED MY LIFE?and... probably more of course that aren't coming to me now xP

i. didnt expect to ramble as much as i did with this? i just can't put into enough words how formative warriors amvs and the like were for me growing up :'DD they were my major start for digital art and animation (something i did a lot when i was younger but fell out of over time, but god i'd love to animate again, maybe do a classic wc amv to spottedfur's pride or something lol)

thank you for the question! I am so incredibly normal about warrior cats.

#babbles #wc #warriors #warrior cats #long posts #i knew i had a tag for ask games but uh. dont remember it soz #i poke at it a few times here but i do have strong opinions about how vapid nostalgia culture can be #especially w regards to the early internet where if something is deemed a universal enough experience #people stop caring about the person behind it and it just feels like ppl think its public domain #like a product of collective nostalgia and not a piece of art a person made #see every wacky comment on these amvs like 'Lol remember when THIS was peak animation?? like if youre still here in 2019!!!!'#or there being like a gritty lps popular reboot meant to ~deconstruct~ it #stuff like that. its why even though i was 100% a webcore furry 2000s kid i can never get into the culture surrounding it on tumblr #it feels too ironic for me even if it doesn't mean to be - i would rather art be treated like... art and not as 'haha remember THIS?'#everytime some kid from 2007's old art gets reposted for nostalgiawave animecore whatever i cringe a bit im sorry #unless it's for like. 1) w permission somehow 2) genuinely liking the art itself and not through a lens of 'this is kiddy nonsense lol'#idk i have many opinions. ANYWAY. WARRIOR CATS

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milkymeaty · 2 years

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do people really still think glados is chells mom........ at this point u might as well have a big fucking sign over ur head that reads "not too fond of lesbians" lol

#like cmon now. come ON now #yeah thats probably a little mean and u know what if u dont ship chelldos literally who fucking cares #but this whole constant ''but isnt she chells mom???'' shit needs to stop lol #idk if u just never got into the fandom or if u just never saw any other posts talking about it i dont care but for the love of GOD #stop with this fucking shit PLEASE LMAO its so fucking annoying man god fucking christ #how do u have the ppl who damn the damn game literally TELL YOU that chell and glados' relationship was meant to be romantic #AND U STILL THINK SHES HER MOM???????#''but but!!! the potato project!! the bring ur daughter to work day fair!!!!!!'' do we just not have critical thinking skills anymore #whatever man yall are so annoying lol chell isnt white glados sang a breakup song to her it had a romantic subplot to it #u just don't like cool baller lesbians lol go find a different fandom 👋🏽#i probably sound sooooo mean but i literally do not care ppl are ANNOYING today UGH #meaty babbles #portal #chelldos

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bangcakes · 4 months

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#uh.... LOL so yada yada yada u know what im gonna talk about JDJDJD GOD HELP ME #i just realized........... that u know. usually on the 15th (bc timezones) im like super hype bc sjs birthday #but LMAO........ i so happen to be seeing.... my .... crusheroo on that day so Zjxjdjkdkdkd HOW LIFE CHANGES WOW #i didnt realize til i saw a bday (old) set of sj n i was like WAIT FUCK DID I MISS HIS BDAY. ONLY TO REALIZE. IT WAS THE SAME DAY....#hhhh but god. ya i did it. i survived a whole month without seeing him. but like bc we message or whatever occasionally (and my #frequent daydreaming lets be real) it didnt feel that long !!! wow !! proud !!@#like realistically i knew i could do it bc i went like. 4 months without seeing him JDJJDJDJDJD #god imagine. i spent the whole summer trying to get over him. only to see him 1 time n have everything come back #but WORSE. BC. RECIPROCATION?????????#god lmao. feel like im never gonna be over this. feel like i could even be married to him everyday n id be like WOW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN????#shits so weird idk. idk. im just NDJJDJDJDJD HOW DO WE GET TO THE NEXT STEP #BUT AT THE SAME TIME. I SHOULD GET TO KNOW HIM BETTER. GOD ITS SO DJFJFKKFKDKDKDKKD #like this is what its like to really like someone huh. all those other crushes i had were like.... a 0 in comparison #like wtf is this. when everyone else had crushes and liked ppl is This what they meant. jfc #idk if i could go thru this again JDJDJJDJDJD. hope hes it. ya #id promise to save everyone n never talk about this again but we both know thats not gonna happen ANDNDNDNDND #personal

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munamania · 4 months

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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

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simmonsized · 9 months

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Idk about other people but I’m always a slut for that old man and I think you got amazing taste so pls rec anything you like anywhere

I think you will find that my taste is actually kind of garbage but like, in a fun way that makes you go "wow really???" rather than being so embarrassed for me that you can never look at me again. of course that would be fine too haha you know, don't yuck my yum etc but I will try to put together my unfuckable old man rec list right here, right now, and we can all just live with that

(mostly because titling a post makes me cringe it's too much attention, and I'm a stereotype)

These come from a section of my actual Fic Rec List, which is massive (by my standards), lives in a googly doc, and is much more embarrassing. this list generally won't include any ship stuff and if it does, i will say so. mind any and all tags.

This section is titled: The Redemption Narrative (lol)

1. Empty Nester - egomaniac (THE WHOLE REASON I MADE A NEW LIST. BRO AND NANNA!!!!!!!!!!!! also bro/grandpa, aka “he fucks that old man”, but not the most important part to me, because as good and tragic and hurtful as their relationship is in this fic, it is dwarfed, to me, by the kindness shared between Nanna and Bro, which once again, to me, is the Crown Jewel of the whole story. PLEASE read this please if u have time A++ endorsement)

2. dualshock desertbloom (the whole fucking series. i hardly need to say why, you should just know by now. i call dd dirkfic, because it is The Dirkfic, u know??)- geometrician (🔶)

3. sun’s angle - dellaluce (they can orphan it all they want but i never forget. very old, but never GETS old, u feel)

4. Hexadyne Meetings - Saesama (the rarity of bro and nanna fics could absolutely destroy me but i really like the interactions between all of the guardians in this one)

5. Flop, Flutter - cthchewy (technicality, big nasty soulless bro yikes sorry)

6. The Estrangement Thing - NoBrandHero (there’s a theme here listen to me don’t be doubtful it’s worth the trouble, there is brojohn in there, which is not my thing at all, but it is NOT relevant to what i like about this fic, and i think if u read it, u will realize that immediately lol (*i am not including second best even though that fic is literally my favorite ds fic ever because it is NOT bro centric))

7. cold front off the pacific - drow_sy (i actually read this bc geometrician bookmarked it lol but it punches down on u and i like that)

8. insect clockwork - SORD (aka, if it was written pre-2013, i’ve read it)

9. Flashing Lights and Raisins - RadioMoth (the strider manpain tag exists for a reason)

10. Hide - Plajus (OG post-sburb type shit. we love to see it)

11. Blackout - lantadyme (bro strider sick fic. Wrow. old shit. I don’t even know how i have held onto these for this many years.)

Things that don't quite fit into the category necessarily but It's MY List Not Yours:

12. signs at sundown - geometrician (I don't need to say it, do I? I think we understand, I do think that. Imagine being canon together with you favorite author. Imagine it. Wow.)

13. No Homo - Laurasauras (bro/dennis. yes, dennis from gamebro. yes, it's good i've said it before i'll say it again. i'm into it, i think you should be too.)

14. flash - problemsloth (this shit is just. absolute chef's kiss to me. i don't know how else to explain it. young bro. he's perfect, and perfectly dreadful)

15. play ball! - spacepuck (this is a johndave fic but it has this very stressful atmosphere around bro and dave that kinda fucks me up and also, delights me beyond reason. it tastes like summer to me. sandlot lookin ass. an old favorite)

#this list is. shorter than it could be and longer than i meant it to be #this is by no means a Full List there's lots of other stuff out there #rabid raccoon rehab is for everyone obviously #and i am not a person who reads a ton of ship fic so if there are good fics that also have ships in them i probably just haven't read them #lol sorry about that #sloth has a brodad that's on my to-read which i think will probably be added to the actual doc but at this time i have not read it #i want to say i take recs but the truth is they will probably end up in the shameful pile of Marked For Later that grows taller and taller #every day that passes by #well anyway i just wanted to talk about empty nester like an insane person so #i want to say u can just like. plug in all the things i have excluded on ao3 for bro's tag and then sort by kudos and these will pop up #but the truth is that i have also been dragging some of these around with me for literal years and there is a Reason they are top kudos'd #to me #anyway yeah okay sure whatever sorry this is just. hells of embarrassing it's all homestuck it's all bro related sorry #for non bro centric fics consider begging on ur knees or it will never see the light of day #actually i think you'd have to pay me or weasel your way into my server. it's not happening is what i'm saying #ANYWAY OKAY FINALLY IT IS DONE

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