miss hermes..

Let Me Spoil You. (18+) (NSFW)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 | I AM FEEDING U GUYS SO GOOD ???? holy mother of a goose i poured my blood sweat and tears into this, bumping to yung gravy as i write this so u alrdy know this is gonna be a banger!!! also i didn’t edit at all and i got so lazy at the end n i didnt wanna scrap this so uhh sorry if its bad 𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 | Dom Gojo x Sub Female Reader 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 | 3683 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 | Dub-Con (I think?) Inexperienced Virgin Reader, Somnophilia, Degradation, Dom/Sub, Edging, Begging, Spitting 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 | It’s your one month anniversary, and you really don’t like Gojo spoiling you, Gojo gets frustrated, he teaches you a lesson.    A soft orange filter glazed the bathroom, a humid breeze blowing in weakly from the window that was always open, no matter what. The shower head lightly sprinkled on you, mumbling curses to the shower head, you swatted, and lightly tapped it a few times before you realized you had to change the water pressure.     Facepalming, you hadn’t realized that you had changed the water pressure to ungodly levels. It was too late when you had realized, the water shot at your face, practically pushing you back. Water droplets adorned your cheeks, and your hair suddenly decreased in volume.     Gasping for air, you used your arm to wipe your eyes and quickly turned the temperature up to anything other than the freezing bitter cold, you stretched, indulging in the refreshing, hot water.    You had just gone out with Gojo for a luxurious dinner, even though it wasn’t quite your style, Gojo had insisted on taking you out to a fine-dining establishment. Small cuts of steak, with absurdly expensive champagne on the side, and of course, Gojo’s favorite, absurdly expensive desserts.    It had been almost a month since you had began to go out with him, and he had tried treating you like a princess ever since. Anything you set your eyes on, he offered to buy it, whipping out a black leather wallet that was close to snapping. Thick wads of cash sat untouched, and you always politely declined.     He had always argued with you, telling you that it was a given for significant others to spoil their loved ones. You always brushed it off, but in the latest argument between you two, Gojo was persistent, insisting that you were to dress in your finest and so that he could, “finally spoil my babygirl.”     You could still remember how the conversation went.     “No, Satoru.” you scoffed, turning to face him, leaning on the counter. Your arms crossed over your chest, “We can get JUST as good food if we order take out or some shit.”     “Listen, sweetheart,” he immediately rushed over, his hand on your ass, rubbing up and down, his other caressing your neck. “It’s nothing on me financially, I can handle it, I want to spoil you princess.”     You shook your head, looking down. He took his hand off your neck and rubbed his.     “I rarely get to spend time with you, between the meetings and the missions and training Yuuji, so let me do it just this once, is that okay, pumpkin? Besides, what do you lose from this? I made the reservation too, so we don’t have to wait. It’s a win win~”    You glanced up, before looking down again, ruffling your hair. An awkward silence grew between you two.    What did you lose from this? Even though Gojo was absolutely loaded, you still felt terrible spending money for unnecessary shit.    He looked at you, placing his hand on his chin, he looked like he was thinking, which was unusual, because the guy was as dumb as a snail sometimes. He let out a small “hm” stroking his chin as if he was debating with world renowned scholars before finally opening his mouth, “Oooooooooh, I get it now!”     You sighed, so dramatic.    He leaned forward, you always forgot how ridiculously tall he was, and how much he loomed over your figure. “Babe, don’t feel bad.” he tipped your chin upward so he could look you in the eye, even though he was quite literally wearing his blindfold, “this has been our 1 month anniversary, and what’s an anniversary without spending money on unnecessary shit?”    “I mean, I guess..”    Hesitantly agreeing, he shoved you upstairs into his room (and yours as well!) to throw on the best formal looking outfit you could find last minute. Digging through the drawers, you found a skin-tight black sundress that you had paired with a  layered delicate necklace Gojo had gifted you on your second week of dating. Hastily throwing on gold rings and a gold anklet just for the fun of it, you fluffed up your hair. You looked at your black high heels.    Hey, if you were gonna be so lavish looking, why not go all out?    You regretted that train of thought later on, and wondered why you didn’t just pull up in a simple white t-shirt.     Regardless, it was worth it at the end. Gojo looked stunning that night. Swapping out the regular blindfold for a pair of black sunglasses, it accentuated his chiseled features even more. His hair wasn’t what it was usually, it wasn’t spiked up at all. Instead, he wore it down. It looked much softer, and it framed his face perfectly. He wore a buttoned down dress shirt, and you felt your heart swell when other woman watched him walk by, their faces faltering when they realized his arm around your waist.     He even went to the extent of pulling the chairs out for you, and opening the car door, as if you were truly a princess. Admittedly, you found yourself enjoying the fine dining, even with the ridiculously small portions. The atmosphere, and the pampering from the waiters had grown on you.    While thinking about the events of your anniversary, the door creaked opened, Gojo’s head peaked just above the foggy glass doors of the shower.     You slightly slid the door open just a crack, you knew that most couples would immediately open the door and have their arms out, waiting for their significant other to immediately pleasure them in the shower, but you hadn’t done anything like that with Gojo yet.     Instantly met with his incredibly toned body, glowing in the hazy amber light from the window, you gulped. A towel draped over his veiny arms, and an incredibly large t-shirt with panties in the other.     You quickly realized the t-shirt as the one Gojo often wore, you had never worn one of his t-shirts before.    The endless missions had obviously done him well, he looked like he was sculpted from marble, a gift from heaven. Arms strong enough to hold the world, you wondered what it would be like to have him carry you around.     Your face flushed a bright red, you didn’t even know what it was like to be carried by him, the furthest you both went was making out, and even you had found yourself being too bad at it to do it consistently.     Lost in thought, you didn’t even realize what Gojo was saying. “Sugarplum? I got your clothes.” he murmured softly, setting the towel and clothes down.     Your breath hitched, watching his head turn to face the shower. Instantaneously looking down at your face peeking through.    You were never gonna hear the end of this one.    A small smile spread across his face, before disappearing into a large cocky smirk, now that he had realized what you were looking at. “It’s okay, I understand, pumpkin. Not many have the courage to tell me face to face that I’m the best. In terms of strength, and looks, and everything.”     You stuck out your tongue, blowing a raspberry.     “Fuck off, idiot, I’m trying to shower!”     “Ouch! I didn’t say that when you were ogling at my body, didn’t I? That really hurt my feelings, weren’t you ever taught the golden rule?”     His hand wove through his hair, and you couldn’t help realize how soft it looked without all the gel holding the iconic spikes together.    “Treat others how you want to be treated.” he winked.    Your mouth sealed shut, accepting your defeat, you slid the glass door shut loudly.     You heard loud booming laughter go down the hallway, gradually getting quieter and quieter before exhaling a sigh of relief as you continued to shower.     You couldn’t help but think about your boyfriend’s body once more, it seemed like a dream. Was he really yours? He had the body of a super model and he settled with you and not some ridiculously pretty girl?     Anyone would take advantage of such a handsome boyfriend, showing him off for the world to see.    You felt an unfamiliar throb between your legs, you looked down, head tilted to the side while also simultaneously furiously washing your hair.    You hadn’t felt this throbbing too much, it was almost like a yearning, and you were almost sure you knew what it was, but you didn’t quite want to admit it yet.    Shaking your head furiously, you wanted to finish your shower before anything else. Ignoring the obvious. ‧₊˚✩彡.    Rubbing your hair with your towel, you had thrown on the t-shirt and panties, cursing Gojo silently for not giving you a pair of shorts. Rummaging through the drawers in your room, Gojo suddenly appeared in the hallway.    “What are you looking for, love?” he leaned on the doorway, cocking his head to his side with a mischievous grin.    “Why don’t you ask yourself, considering that you were the one who gave me my clothes.” you scoffed, pushing the drawer you were searching for back and moving on to the next. You had forgotten which drawer had your pants, vivid images of Gojo’s body echoing through your mind.    “Your pants are on the left of the drawer.” he strode over to the king-sized bed, the mattress sinking down as he sat. “What are you thinking about?”    You scoffed again, looking at him with a side eye. “I’m not thinking of anything? What are you talking about?” 

   “Whenever you think, you forget literally everything around you.”

   Cursing the Gojo clan for ever birthing such a smart yet stupid child, you twirled around with a pair of shorts now in hand. “I do not!”

   “Yeah? Okay lil girl. Oh no, you’re not wearing those.” 

   You felt a throb yet again when you heard him call you lil girl. He snatched the pair of shorts up, dangling it just above your head. “Can’t I ever have my girlfriend wear something remotely sexy? I love your body. I want to see it all in its glory.” He placed it back into the drawer neatly.

   You froze. He was being incredibly straightforward, which wasn’t unlike Gojo, but you didn’t think he would make such large advancements. His arms snaked around your waist without you even realizing, breathing heavily as he placed your ass on his lap. 

   Readjusting to the new position, you looked up, fear and excitement brewing inside of you, was this going to be your first time having sex? You leaned in for a kiss.

   Just as he was about to give you a taste of his lips once again, a loud ringtone sounded. 

   “Fuck.” he cursed to himself, digging into his pockets and whipping out his phone, he gestured for you to be quiet. You whined a little, you had now realized what you were throbbing for.

   “Hello?” Gojo cocked his head to his side, placing the phone right next to his ear as it dangerously rested on his shoulder. A disgruntled look in his face, one hand squishing your ass. 

   “Mmmmmm, yeah, okay.” he placed the phone down on the covers, looking down to you, eye to eye.

   “That was a call from Ijichi, there’s some crazy shit going on somewhere, I have to take an emergency business trip.” he kissed your forehead gently, “I love you okay?” 

   Disappointed with the outcome, you nodded. He gave you a gentle few pats on your back before standing up, gently rolling you over on the bed, and rummaging through the drawers for his work uniform.  

   “As he casually undressed in front of you, you obviously stared, savoring the last few minutes of his body before he would disappear for the next few days, or maybe even weeks, or a month. 

   He looked back on you, just as he was entering the hallway. 

   “You forgot to say I love you.” 

   Looking up, you cursed to yourself, he didn’t have the usual playful cocky grin, now replaced with a worried one. 

   “I love you too.”

‧₊˚✩彡.

   It had now been a week since your 1 month anniversary, you had been blue balled so badly, it almost hurt. You were laying down on your bed, looking at the curtains flutter as a casual wind blew into the room. The sun was setting, and a beautiful dark blue canvas dotted with stars was sure to appear. 

   You had tried holding off, ignoring your walls desperately wrapping around something that wasn’t there. Constantly looking down, seeing that your panties were obviously soaked. The dreams weren’t helping either, Satoru had been appearing in your dreams and doing things that even he would be weirded out by, and he had seen some shit.

   Your arm snaked down to your panties, hand underneath the fabric. You breathed a sigh of relief as your unexperienced fingers circled your entrance, enjoying the slight tease. You heard the slight suckle of your walls around your fingers, enjoying the full feeling. 

   Yet you knew that this wasn’t the extent of things, you knew that there were much bigger, capable of reaching places you wouldn’t even dream of reaching. But you enjoyed the small amounts of pleasure anyways.

   You pulled your panties down, throwing it into the laundry basket and cursing yourself for making it so wet. Slowly thrusting in and out with the finger, you sighed a breath of relief. 

   “Fuck.” you gasped, as a white fluid pooled out of you onto the sheets. You cursed harder to yourself, realizing now that you had to wash them. 

   “Shit.” you couldn’t quite stop there though, you had even more aching between your legs, and you had to satisfy your cravings, you didn’t even know when Gojo would come home. 

   You gasped more, a second round of white fluids flowed out of you. The yearnings now gone, you yanked a tissue out of the tissue box, wiping your finger on it, too lazy to get up, you would worry about the cum later. Drifting off into a heavy sleep, dreaming once again about the ungodly things you wanted Gojo to do to you.

‧₊˚✩彡.

   “Gojo, s-stop.” you looked up at him as you sat on his lap, his fingers coated with your slick. His other hand played with the hem of your skirt. Not responding, he continued to quietly fingering you. 

   You quickly put a hand over your mouth, letting out a muffled moan, he snickered a little, before pulling out his fingers. 

   You whined a bit, earning a stare from a few people. Looking up at him with puppy eyes, you felt yourself wrapping around air.

   He sadistically smiled. You wondered how his eyes would look right now, unable to look at him because of his blindfold. 

   “Beg for it, slut.” he silently whispered, teasing your entrance. You let out a little whimper again, how were you to be quiet when he was doing all this to you?

   You opened your mouth slightly, about to beg, before being shut down completely as he shoved 3 fingers into you. 

   You let out a loud squeak, the whole restaurant now staring at you, eyeing you even across the room with displeased faces. You looked down, embarrassed. 

   He was now laughing at you, you looked up to him about to silently chew him out. Before opening your mouth, you were transported into a bright room. 

‧₊˚✩彡.

   Your eyes blinked, readjusting to the brightness. You realized that your legs were slightly colder then your upper half, realizing that you were completely naked down there. You blinked furiously, looking around, seeing someone’s incredibly muscular chest, with unmistakable white hair. 

   Rubbing your eyes, making sure that you weren’t seeing things, you mumbled, “Gojo?” 

   You felt something squirm around inside of you, letting out a loud moan as it pulled out. 

   “Hm?” he murmured sleepily, you looked down.

   Putting two and two together, his incredibly long fingers were glistening with a wetness. He shuffled a bit before finally sucking and licking his fingers, looking at you directly in the eye while doing so. 

   “What’s wrong, slut?” he smiled deviously again, resting his chin on your shoulder before thrusting 2 fingers back inside of you again. Curling them inside of you, indulging in the toe curling scream you made. 

   “Gojo! You’re...” he pulled his fingers out before you could finish, adding another finger, he was now up to 3.

   “FUCK, SATORU!”    With a lustrous glint in his eyes, he shoved his thumb and index finger into your mouth.     “That’s daddy to you, and look at your body. It’s practically begging for my cock by now. Oh princess, did I play with you for too long?” he slipped his fingers out of your needy pussy, smiling into your hair.     “Want daddy to fuck you?”    Your mouth suddenly dry, you looked at his neck. Not knowing how to respond, you nodded vigorously, sucking on his fingers.    He tipped your chin to look upwards at his face, staring directly into his aquamarine eyes.     “Use your words, whore. Or you’re not getting shit.” he pulled his fingers out of your mouth.     You coughed and spluttered into your arm, tears forming at the corner of your eyes.     His eyes went softer, pulling you into his chest. “Oh sweetheart, did I go too rough on you?”     You shook your head, before shakily replying, “I-I was just surprised y-you came e-early from the mission a-and...” you took a deep breath in, “I was... unp-prepared.    Before he could reply, you blurted out,    “P-please, daddy, use my tight l-little holes. I’m all yours to u-use.”     He smiled, “What a cute slut. You want me to spoil you, don’t you?”     You nodded, now rubbing your thighs together. Your slick coated your inner thigh and your breathing was getting hot.     “How come when I offered to, you didn’t want to obey me?”     “Y-you can’t compare the two-”    He spat into your open mouth. Smiling a bit when he realized that you had swallowed it, looking at him with even wider puppy eyes.    “No talking back, repeat after me, lil girl. When daddy wants to spoil me, I will let him spoil me.”     “W-when daddy wants to s-spoil me, I...” you took a shaky breath in, “I’ll let him spoil m-me.”     “That’s a good girl. Now turn to look at the wall.” he calmly replied, you obeyed, looking at the wall, anticipating for whatever happened next.     You felt something big touch your entrance. Something unnecessarily big, you whimpered. Realizing it was Gojo’s dick.     He chuckled a bit, smiling into your neck and then giving it a light suck. “It’s okay princess, this is your first isn’t it? I’ll make you into my cumslut afterwards. I’ll go nice and easy.”   Heaving a bit, he thrusted a little inside of you. You held your breath.     Strangely, it didn’t hurt at all. Even with the contrast between his incredibly thick and large cock, to your inexperienced, tight walls.     “Missy, you’re so wet.” huskily muttering into your ear, “almost like you’re milking my cock. So tight.”    He grunted, repositioning myself and letting out a small, “Fuck.” as he did so. You whined as he gradually put more and more of him inside of you.     You tightened around his cock, drooling as you did so. You didn’t realize your mouth was open.     “Babe, I can barely fucking pull out.” Gojo said, while he played with your hair, stroking your cheek.     “W-why not?”     “Nothing other then the fact that, a) you’re too tight around me, and b) you’re clenching incredibly hard for no real reason.” he once again, shoved his thumb and index finger for you to suck on, the other playing with your breast, his thumb rolling over your nipple.     “Just relax, baby. Let daddy do all the work, okay?”     You weakly nodded, as he finished shoving the last of his length inside of you. Whimpering, and yanking your pillow out from its normal position to hug it.     You felt him pull out, and he slammed back inside of you once again.     You swore to God that you saw the light, a wave of pleasure and your body going numb as he did so. Letting out a shrill squeak, you hugged your pillow as hard as you can, your juices flowing down into the bed now, leaving an evident trail of where it once came from.    Gojo grunted, snuggling deeper into your body. There was barely any space between the two of you, but you still didn’t feel close enough.     The room was filled with the sound of sticky skin against stinky skin, panting, and moans. You felt every. single. bit. of him.     Now, he had begun to quicken his pace, slamming into your body more often, sending waves of pleasure inside of you. His hair stuck to his neck, sweat pouring down his body, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.     “Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck, I want to cum inside of you so badly, love.” he panted out of breath.     You whimpered, still unable to speak due to his fingers you were harshly sucking all this time. He laughed in response, before finally pulling out.     In a blink of an eye, he shot ropes of cum on your stomach, panting. You had finally gotten a good view of his cock, big was an understatement. Veins decorated the side of it, and the tip was a rosy pink.     “Lick some cum off of your pretty stomach, princess. I wanna see how pretty you look while doing so.”    Both of you breathing heavily, sweat dampening the sheets, his eyes bore into you. You gulped, even though you had done something so intimate with him, dominant Gojo was nothing to mess with.     You scooped some of his cum up with your finger and sucked on it, looking at him the whole time.     He grunted with approval, giving you a nice headrub.     “Well would you look at that.” he glanced at the wall, “it’s already morning. Wanna take a shower together, lil girl?”    On any other day, you’d make up an excuse, but you figured that you’d get fucked even harder if you told him you didn’t want to.     “Okay, daddy.”     “Good girl.”          

The Party

A/N: I spent far too much time deciding how all of their outfits were gonna look so I hope it paid off. Also, I know some things I mention have different names in different countries but I've gone for what I only know as the British version. Hope you like it! (Totally didn't get inspiration for this idea from driving past a joke shop myself...)

Word count: 2951

Summary: The reader attends her first themed party hosted by RDJ, but her outfit lands her in trouble.

------------------------------------

Tonight was the night. The night you had been waiting for for weeks. A party at Robert Downey Jr’s house. But not just any old party, oh no, a party for the Avengers cast. Not even just a party - a themed party.

See, Robert is well known for his themed parties. Of course he’s done the classics such as the black and white theme, the 80s theme, even the “dress as your favourite superhero” theme - what could be more suited? But he’s also well known for his unique themes. For example: dress as what you wanted to be when you were a kid; dress as your favourite fruit or veg; dress as another member of the cast; dress as your favourite gay icon. The list goes on.

This was your very first party with the cast though. Being the newest member, you were super excited to have a great night with them all outside of work - plus little Tom couldn’t stop guessing what this theme could be. It was, of course:

“Dress as your favourite board game.”

Yep. Board games.

You spent ages trying to figure out what board game you were going to dress up as. The main rule of the themed parties was that you couldn’t tell other people what you were going as unless you deliberately needed someone else to complete your outfit.

You were desperate for ideas now that the party was only a week away. It wasn’t until you were walking down the highstreet, and something in the shop window caught your eye, that you finally had an idea. You were standing outside of a joke shop, and in the window stood a dress...designed like a Twister mat.

Perfect.

The day had finally arrived. No one was filming today so you had all day to get yourself ready. Hair and makeup done, Twister dress on, ready to rumble.

You made your way to RDJ’s house at half 8 - late enough to not be the first one there but early enough to enjoy everyone’s company for longer. You smiled with glee as you stepped into the house. You were tingling with excitement as you walked towards the room where the music played. The minute you walked into the room, everyone approached you. And one by one you scanned them all to see what they were dressed as.

The first person you saw was Anthony, he was dressed up as Cards Against Humanity. Not quite a board game but funny nonetheless. The front of his outfit was completely black and the back was completely white. The writing on his front read “I drink to forget _____”, and the writing on his back read “Tom Holland”. You giggled.

Next was Scarlett. She decided to come dressed as Pictionary. Part of her outfit was made with polyester and nylon, and she carried around a whiteboard marker so that anyone could draw a picture on her outfit and others had to guess what it was. This could also be wiped off easily, ready for the next person to draw.

Sebastian was next, you snorted when you saw him. He was dressed as Frustration. His outfit was divided into the four colours: his top right being yellow, top left being green, bottom right being blue and bottom left being red. He had placed a semisphere plastic hat over his head and inside lay a foam dice which jumped about whenever he shook his head.

After Seb came Liz. She was dressed up as Uno. Her front and back were two different colours of the uno reverse card - the front being red and the back being green. The point of this is that whenever someone asked her to do something she didn’t wanna do, she’d just point to her outfit and get out of doing it.

Next was Paul B. He came as Trivial Pursuit. Random questions and answers were plastered all over his suit, such as: “how many feet are there in a fathom? 6”; “What three-word slogan was named the most popular advertisement ever in a 2000 poll? Beanz Meanz Heinz”; and his own personal saying, “Where do snitches end up? In ditches”.

Following Paul was the unsurprising double act. Big Tom and Hemsy. They had come dressed as Snakes and Ladders. Tom had glued a giant toy python to his all-black outfit, and Chris had stuck a cardboard ladder to the front and back of his all-white outfit. Simple, yet effective.

Then came Evans who was dressed as Noughts and Crosses, despite numerous comments from RDJ about it not being a board game. His back was full of paper noughts and crosses stuck to his top but his front had a similar material to Scarlett’s where the cast could play their own game on his front and then wipe it off for the next players.

You scanned little Tom next. He had gone all out with his outfit, dressing up as Operation. He was wearing a light pink coloured top and matching trousers and had stapled all the pieces of operation to their correct areas, such as the butterfly, the spare rib and the wish bone. He’d also used face paint to paint his nose a dark shade of red. Adorably creepy in a way.

Last, but certainly not least, was the man himself. Robert Downey Jr. He came as the popular game Cluedo. And boy did he look fancy. He wore a top hat that had a giant question mark stuck to it, and a tuxedo with a long sweeping tail attached to the jacket. Neatly placed all over his black suit were the names of the suspects, the names of the rooms and the names of the weapons - all written in white. He looked splendid.

“Twister. How unusual. I love it,” Robert said, the others nodded in agreement.

“Thanks, you all look incredible,” you said.

Little Tom held out his arm and led you to the dance floor where you spent the next hour dancing the night away. Big Tom and Hemsy were owning the dance floor with their moves. Many party classics blared through the speakers, including 5,6,7,8...which you knew the dance off by heart but RDJ had to be taught the moves by you and little Tom.

Another hour passed and you were sat with Scarlett, Liz and Paul in the other room where the music wasn’t so loud. Seb was with you but he had asked Liz to get him a drink and she played the uno reversal so now he was on drinks duty.

“Paul, can I borrow your suit just so I can literally look smarter?” You asked, he chuckled.

“Maybe I can just follow you around and relay the facts for you,”

“You could be the Yoda to my Luke. Though I think you’re too big to sit on my back,” you said.

“Here’s your punch,” said Seb, returning with two cups for him and Liz.

“Finally, what took you so long?” she asked.

“I stopped in the party room, Anthony and little Tom are having a competition to see who can do the macarena better,” he said.

“But...the macarena is the macarena…” you said, confused.

“Try telling them that. Tom insisted that the Brits do it better apparently.”

“Well, we do have some absolute bangers,” you chuckled. Paul agreed.

“So where did you get that dress?” Scarlett asked you.

“The joke shop down the highstreet. I was walking past it last week and found it in the window. Thought it would be perfect,” you shrugged.

“Until Mackie gets over excited and plays Twister on you,” Seb said.

“I’d like to see him try,” you replied.

“Ah, here’s the gang. What are you all doing in here?” Robert said, entering the room with big Tom and Evans.

“We’re just sat chatting….wait, have you left Holland and Mackie alone?” Seb asked.

“They’re fine, Chris is with them,” Tom replied. You tilted your head at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe I should check on them…” Tom said, you nodded and he left the room.

“Soooo, how’s it going?” Evans asked everyone.

“We’re all fine but Y/N is a bit twisted,” Seb said. Everyone laughed but you bonked him on the head, making the dice jolt.

“Oi!”

You giggled and slapped the plastic hat again, the dice landed on a 6.

“Eyy I get another go!” You cheered before bonking him on the head again. He sighed but chuckled.

“Well it’s nice to see her dressed as an actual board game,” Robert said, turning to Evans.

“Hey, that’s not fair! Noughts and crosses is a board game!” Evans protested.

“I wanna play,” you said. Evans smiled at you.

You got Liz to play with you and you went first. You decided to play as noughts and took the bottom left corner. After a few rounds, you got a straight diagonal line. You cheered as Liz huffed, but she congratulated you nonetheless.

“I wanna play pictionary now,” you said, turning to Scarlett. She smiled and handed you a whiteboard pen. You thought for a moment then began drawing.

You pressed down on Scarlett’s outfit to make sure you could draw properly. You ran the pen down her stomach and she giggled.

“Hey, careful, that tickles,” she said. You blushed and apologised but continued. Everytime the pen went over a certain spot Scarlett would giggle but she never flinched.

“Okay, I’m done,” you announced. Everyone leaned forward and groaned once they saw it.

“Really? You know none of us can say that,” Seb said.

“First one to say it correctly wins,” you shrugged. You had drawn Mjolnir, something that everyone struggled to say.

“Midge-oh-lair,” said Liz.

“Mjohn-ler,” said Seb.

“Me-joln-ier,” said Evans.

“Hey! It’s Mjolnir!” came a voice from the door. Hemsy had just walked in with Mackie, little Tom and big Tom.

“We have a winner,” you grinned and everyone groaned again.

“Okay now I wanna play snakes and ladders,” you said. You scrambled to your feet and launched yourself at Hemsy, climbing up his tall body and clinging to him like a koala. He laughed.

“Okay, and what do we do now?” He chuckled. You shrugged and hugged him tighter, he returned the favour.

“As nice as this is, princess, I can’t carry you around the rest of the evening,” Hemsy said.

“Alright, hang on. Gotta complete the game,” you said. You motioned big Tom to come nearer and leaned over to hug him. Your legs followed and wrapped around his waist before you slid down his body and landed on the floor. Tom laughed.

“Impressive,” he said. You lay flat at the floor and looked at him, giggling.

“You’re very playful today,” big Tom said.

“I’m just happy to be here,” you giggled, he smiled at you.

“Alright my turn, I wanna play twister,” Mackie said, launching himself at you.

“WAIT!” You cried, panicked by his sudden movement. Mackie didn’t listen.

“I’m not doing anything! I need someone to give me an instruction,” he said.

“Right foot red,” Seb said. Mackie lifted his foot and put it on the first red spot he could see, directly on your tummy. You giggled as he adjusted his foot, rubbing it against your tummy.

“Noho Anthony!”

He looked and realised what he was doing, then smirked and vibrated his foot on your tummy again. You giggled louder.

“The twister mat is making noises, how do I turn it off?” He asked.

“Um, try putting your left hand on yellow,” little Tom piped up. Mackie grinned as he spotted a yellow spot on your ribs. He put his hand down and gave them an “accidental” squeeze.

“Hehey!” You shrieked.

“Didn’t work Holland, anyone else?” Mackie said.

“Try right hand green,” Scar said, smirking. Mackie placed his right hand on the green spot on your side and squeezed again.

“Stohop!” You cried.

“Right well that didn’t work, and I can’t put my left foot on it otherwise I would break it. Any other ideas?” he said.

“You may have to push a few buttons, try turning it off and on again,” Paul said. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and shook his foot on your tummy. You screeched loudly.

“Nope, still making noises,”

“Let me have a look,” Liz said. Mackie had you pinned below his hands and foot. You started to giggle as you felt a single finger run up your neck.

“Nonono Lizzie!” You squeaked as she dragged a nail up the other side.

“There must be an off button around here,” she teased. She gently scribbled all her nails into your neck. You scrunched up your shoulders and shrieked.

“NOHOHOHO!”

“Definitely not here, you sure it’s not there Mackie?” Lizzie asked. Mackie squeezed your ribs and sides again and your giggles turned to laughter.

“Nope, no no, that’s made it worse,” he said. “Someone try a blue spot!”

Evans jumped up and ran over to help. He found a blue spot right on your hip, he placed his hand over it and started squeezing.

“NAHAHAHAHAHA!” You screamed. Trying to buck your body was impossible with Mackie still pinning you.

“Dammit Evans you turned the volume up!” Mackie yelled.

“Maybe the problem lies outside of the mat itself,” big Tom piped up.

“What you saying Hiddleston? That we’re the problem?” Mackie asked.

“Not at all, just that there appears to be parts connected to the mat, but not part of the mat itself,” Tom said, putting his hand on his chin. He slowly approached you and swiped a single finger under your knee. You kicked it away.

“Now it’s malfunctioning,” Mackie informed him. Tom hummed and swiped a finger under your other knee. You kicked again. He then spider tickled under both your knees and you shrieked loudly.

“PLEHEHEASE I’M NOHOT BROKEN!” You screamed.

“God DAMN you made it talk!” Mackie yelled.

“I know what the issue is,” Robert said, stepping forward.

“Do go on?” big Tom said.

“You need to hit all the pressure points at once. It’s like a giant reset button, wear it down till it reboots itself,” he said. Everyone looked at each other.

“Position yourselves,” Robert instructed.

Mackie stepped off of your stomach and knelt by your left side, Seb knelt by your right. Lizzie was still up by your neck and big Tom by your knees. Scarlett was by your right shoulder, Paul by your left. Evans positioned himself by your hips, little Tom the other side by your thighs. Hemsworth and Robert sat next to your feet.

“Nonononono please!” You cried.

“Rebooting systems in 3…” Robert began.

“No please!”

“2…”

“Wait!”

“1…”

“No wait I’m not brOHOHOHOKEN!” You cried as everyone attacked you at once. No one was pinning you down but you could hardly twist and turn with 10 people tickling all your spots at once. They were all ruthless and yet...you sort of loved it.

“PLEHEHEHASE NOHOHOHO!” You cried, flailing your arms around. Mackie and Seb were squeezing up and down your sides and across your tummy, Lizzie was tickling deep into your neck, Scar and Paul had just caught an arm each and pinned it upwards so they could tickle your underarms, big Tom was scratching under your knees and squeezing the tops, Evans was squeezing and scribbling into your hips, little Tom was scratching up and down your thighs and Hemsy and Robert had grabbed a foot each to tickle. It was pure torture.

“KEEP GOING, IT’LL WEAR DOWN EVENTUALLY!” Robert yelled over your screams of laughter. Everyone picked up the speed and you screamed louder than ever before.

You now had your arms and legs pinned by Scar, Paul, Robert and Hemsworth so you tried to buck your hips as much as possible and scrunch up your shoulders to protect your neck but it was no use.

“NOHOHOHO MOHOHORE!” You cried. You let out another loud scream and fell into a silent laughter. Tears filled your eyes to the point where you couldn’t even see Lizzie kneeling over you.

“Reboot complete,” Robert instructed. He stopped tickling your foot and one by one the rest of the cast followed and ceased their attack. You lay there, taking in deep breaths of air.

“You alright twisty?” Mackie asked, sliding up to your head. You nodded, letting out residue giggles. Evans gave you a hand up and propped you up against the sofa.

“You...are...all...evil…” you breathed out. Everyone chuckled.

“You were in a playful mood, we wanted to join,” Evans said, winking at you.

“I never knew you were so ticklish,” Hemsworth said.

“So would you be if 10 people ganged up on you,” you replied. He laughed and nodded in agreement. Little Tom sat down next to you.

“You okay?” He asked, pulling you in for a hug. You nodded.

“Yeah...that was fun,” you clamped your mouth shut after realising what you just said.

“Fun eh?” little Tom teased, quickly spidering your side to make you giggle again.

“We had fun too if that’s any consolation? Could go for round two if you want,” big Tom said. You looked at him and smiled.

“Not today I don’t think, you guys well and truly broke me,” you said, everyone laughed.

“I think I’ve already decided on the theme for next year,” Robert said. Everyone turned to him.

“Tickle Me Y/N,” he said, “where everyone has to bring a random object to tickle Y/N with. First to make her say stop wins.” He winked at you and you blushed and hid your head in little Tom’s shoulder. He chuckled and stroked your head.

“Now that will be a fun theme,” Mackie replied.

hey! for your post about sun moon and rising but with taylor albums, can you list out the characteristics of each album? i'm having a hard time associating them and it'd make it a lot easier, if you could do that :)

oh totally! Its really all about your personal association, so i’ll give vibes for the era and the album. a good rule of thumb is to read the prologue if you want the tone for the era quickly. honestly, there’s no set system, go wild

taylor swift (2006) “debut”

era: blue and teal and brown. cowboy boots and sundresses, wild curly hair, trucks and mud and wildflowers. very 2006, very high school, very country

album: swings between pining from a distance and wanting to destroy a boys whole ass life and feeling like you have no friends and no one understands you in the whole world. like I said, very high school, but also full of whole ass bangers

fearless (2008)

era: yellow and white. 24/7 prom. she’s got the fairy tale aesthetics set in high school, she’s got calling your ex boyfriend out on national television, she's got so many headbands. god to be 8 years old when the joe jonas/taylor swift drama was going down

album: again, fairy tale set in high school. lots of crushes, lots of realizing men aren’t shit. it’s about the pull between childhood ideals and real life tearing them down, and deciding how much you should cling to your dreams and how much you have to let them go. it’s also a pull between knowing that these little moments are kinda ridiculous but also taking everything so goddamn seriously

speak now (2010)

era: purple purple purple. she’s starting to grow up! her look has evolved out of sundresses and prom dresses and into a more preppy style. she’s moved out of fantasy and into this like. circus aesthetic? 30s movie type thing? watch the mean music video, idk how to explain it. her hair is still curly and but under control, and she’s solidly Famous at this point. the idea that she can’t sing is Big, and the man-eater stereotype is starting to get popular 

album: she’s starting to grow out of country. she’s experimenting with rock, but her pop sound is starting to take off. it’s all about Dramatics: she’s experienced her first heartbreak, broke someone else’s heart, and was in an emotionally abusive relationship all within two years. she’s moved out of her parents house and is both infantilized and forced to grow up to fast by the media.

red (2012)

era: its 2012 hipster style. her hair is Straight and she’s wearing vintage dresses everywhere, and she’s posting sketches of red lips and quotes from fitzgerald about heartbreak and finding yourself on instagram. she is dating and breaking up with harry styles Very Publically, and its the last major relationship she’ll have for two more years. the idea that she dates to much is everywhere, and she’s being slut shamed to an insane degree, while also being dismissed as a goody-two-shoes

album: it’s designed so each song has the opposite emotions of the song before it. it’s dramatic and it’s heart wrenching and it portrays these relationships that were toxic and messy and captivating. has the last vestiges of country, some more rock, and the first pure Pop songs, all nestled against each other to give you the epic highs and lows of being 22

1989 (2014)

era: its the height of her stardom, and she’s more beloved then she’s ever been and (probably) will ever be again. she’s cut her hair and moved to New York, she’s wearing high waisted stuff and taking polaroids, and she’s been single for two years and it’s has given her the freedom to find a “tight” group of friends and herself. shes talking about third wave feminism all the time, she’s papped every day, and she started dating c*lvin h*rris; they date for a year, he was the first boyfriend to be posted on social media, and the one she was with the longest (until her current bf). publically, she’s the happiest and most successful she’s ever been. personally, it’s more complicated, especially by the last few months. “she lost him, but she found herself and somehow that was everything” and “from the girl who said she would never cut her hair or move to new york or find happiness in a world where she wasn't in love”

album: single handedly brings 80s pop into the mainstream. (like seriously, her only contemporary influence is lana del rey, and even that is only on a few tracks. listening to this when it came out was a religious experience). it sounds basic now but only because she influenced all of the pop music that came after her. its also her first sonically cohesive album since fearless. subject matter wise, its very 80s movie. it’s the first album without a break up song that ruins a man's whole career— no cold as you, dear john, or all too well type. the relationship is on and off again, but more muted and mature then the tumultuous ones portrayed on red. its very star crossed; two people who just can’t find the right time. she’s also writing about how fame has affected her— blank space, shake it off, and i know places all directly reference it, but the idea that the whole world is watching is woven all throughout the album

bleachella (2016) 

this isn't an album but its definitely an era

taylor has become so oversaturated that people are starting to turn on her, and her mental health is suffering. her relationship with c*lvin h*rris is falling apart, she's changing her hair every couple of moths (most notably she bleaches it, and goes to coachella. so like bleachella), and then all of a sudden The Phone Call happens. kim and kanye release edited footage of a phone call that makes it seem like taylor swift is a liar who intentionally plays the victim to stay in the public’s good graces, and the world pounces on it. between that and the idea that her friend group is super cliche-y and exclusionary, her reputation is ruined and she goes in hiding for months. before going into hiding though, she breaks it off with c*lvin (he throws a FIT on twitter) and starts a whirlwind romance with tom hiddleston that includes them flying all over the world on vacations and meeting each others parents super quickly. this all happens in one summer.

reputation (2017)

era: black and white and gold. very edgy, very rich, lots of snakes and casual wealth. there’s the aesthetic of her being very hurt and defensive and lashing out, but the reality of her being the happiest she’s ever been. she’s still famous, but she’s learned how to have a private life and healthy relationships. the tough times have shown her who and what’s important to her

album: pretty much that. the first half is brash and bombastic and playing off what people expect her to be like, how they expect her to fall in and out of love quickly and manipulate those around her to see her as a good person (while exploring sounds that no one expected her to explore) and the second half slows it down and shows her falling in love more explicitly and sweetly and under cover. “in the death of her reputation she felt truly alive” and “finding love through all the noise”

lover (2019)

era: bright pink and pastels and bright colors and happiness and butterflies!! she’s in love and beloved by the general public again, but all of her past albums have been stolen from her by a man she thought she could trust. sadly cut off short by covid. “step into the daylight and let it go”

album: her messiest album (sonically) since red. a popular saying when it first came out was that it had the writing of speak now but the sound of 1989, which is... understandable? its the kind of thing you have to form your own opinion on. it’s on the surface all bubblegum pop and being in love, but it has some of the absolute saddest songs of her entire discography. a 18 song long rollercoaster

folklore and evermore

preface: these are definitely two separate albums and there’s a definitely a difference but this girl has so many albums and it’s taken me an hour to answer this ask and it’s 1am right now so i’m gonna smush them together. go listen to them, and we’re in the era right now

eras: it been covid so all we’ve got are a couple performances and the album visuals. cottagecore, a return to the small town setting of her first two albums, very understated and timeless. one noteworthy element is that both albums were surprise releases (especially after lover had almost a year of build up that kinda worked against it). she’s reached a level of artistic respect that she’s never had

albums: folklore is a level of sonic and thematic cohesion comparable to 1989, as well as having a similar feeling of like. oh god we’ve been waiting for you to make an album like this for years and you’ve still exceeded every exception and made it surprising. evermore is mostly a continuation of its sound, though it’s a bit more experimental. both albums are incredibly mature, and move into non-autobiographical storytelling for most of the songs. it’s easy to build your own world based on one or both of the albums. their main themes are also mostly divorced from relationships, and more tied to personal identity and mental state (though there is quite a bit about divorce and heartbreak in both)

Will is dragged by his sister to the concert of a band he doesn't care about but then he see the beautiful singer and wow

“Jane PLEASE don’t make me!”

Will was sitting on his bed, completely dressed and ready to go. He had been fine with the idea of going to the concert with Jane up until she showed him a picture of the band they were seeing. Now he would rather do anything else.

“Will, why?! You were so excited just moments ago!” Jane was at her brother’s door frame, looking adorably punk, if that were a thing. “Moment” was the Hop’s word-of-the-day a week or two ago and it had become her favorite word since. It was sweet.

“You didn’t tell me the lead singer was that cute! And we were going to be that close to them!”

“Dad won them from a radio show, I didn’t get to choose what seats we got! And I’m sure none of the band members will even notice you, you blend in with the crowd!”

Will looked down at his black slacks and tee shirt. He hadn’t tried to look nice, he was just going because he had figured it would be a good time. Now he was having second thoughts.

“Will, come on!” His sister pleaded with him. How was he supposed to turn her down now? Especially for such a profound reason. She was right, anyway. He’ll probably go unnoticed.

—

After showing their tickets to the guard, they shuffled to their seats, which were quite literally right in front of the stage. Not center, at least, rather to the far left. Will’s palms were already sweaty but he’s never seen Jane smile for this long so he tries to enjoy himself. The opening bands are decent, pretty good actually.

The last opener left the stage and it was silent and ominous for several moments. Then every light in the amphitheater went out. Most of the audience screeched in anticipation. The large televisions came on with a big “10” plastered across each screen. Then 9... then 8.... oh gosh. Will’s stomach began churning. Jane grabbed his arm in excitement and smiled up at him, pearly whites showing and bright eyes lighting up the dark space. Will was calmed.

3... 2... 1.

Will was not calm. He had to fight the urge to cover his ears at the sound of screaming bouncing off every wall of the large room. Goosebumps covered his skin as he saw the lead singer run onto the stage with a gleeful expression.

He really didn’t think it could have gotten louder in the room but it did, so Will’s hands impulsively covered his sensitive ears.

He closed his eyes tightly for just a few seconds, exhaled, and looked onto the stage. The band was already setting up to play their first song.

It was a soft ballad.... odd for their first song. He expected a lot of energy but... it was nice. Cute.

The singer, who’s name turns out to be Mike, Will learned, had his eyes closed during the first few lines of the song. There was already a thin layer of sweat covering his face that made him look like he was glistening under the spotlight. Will’s mouth was slightly open while he admired the boy’s chocolate brown curls and seemingly hollowed out cheeks.

His eyes opened and stared directly at Will while singing the next lines:

What a sight for sore eyes

Brighter than a blue sky

Mike continued singing while swiftly smirking at Will before closing his eyes again.

That did not just happen Will thought. His cheeks were so flushed, it felt like he had just ate a lemon. He looked over at Jane to see if she could tell but she was paying attention to the show rather then specifically the singer. Will should try that, maybe then he wouldn’t feel so ridiculous.

—

The rest of the show was pretty normal. The band got more energetic as it went on, they closed with a real “banger” as referred to by Jane.

There were a few more times he could swear Mike and himself had made eye contact, but then again it could definitely just be his imagination. He was probably looking at everyone in the audience, Will’s nothing special.

They walked out of the venue and to the parking lot, they were on their way to Will’s car when Jane grabbed his arm.

“Wh-” Will began to question but then she pointed to a tall figure in a black zipped-up hoodie. He seemed to be walking toward them.

He grabbed the mace he kept on his keychain for situations just like this, “Don’t try anything.”

Will’s stern voice seemed to have startled the thin boy because he stopped in his tracks. “Oh! Oh no uhm...” he pulled off his hood to reveal the same performer they had just seen on stage.

“Sorry, I wasn’t tryi-”

“Holy shit!” Jane exclaimed.

Will was speechless. What. Was. Happening.

“Uhm...” Mike chuckled awkwardly (cutely Will thought) before finishing his previously interrupted sentence, “I wasn’t trying to scare you or anything I just didn’t want to draw attention. I... wanted to come meet you guys. Noticed you in the crowd. Caught my eye.”

“Oh, you don’t have to include me I caught you two eye fucking between every other song. I’ll give you two a moment but you BETTER not leave before signing my CD.”

Jane winked at Will, took the keys from his hand, and walked past a few vehicles before finding theirs and taking a seat in the passenger side.

Will didn’t speak. He couldn’t.

Mike chuckled again, he was very awkward for someone who can jump around widely on stage without a care in the world. “I uh... didn’t mean to eye fuck you, if that’s what happened.”

“No, no it’s fine. Jane just likes to... well she... I’m not exactly sure why she says the things she does sometimes.”

Another chuckle escaped the curly headed boy. “Okay so I’ll just cut to the chase because it’s late and I’m not supposed to be here and I’m sure you need to get home so.... I’m in town for a few more days and you’re insanely cute if my eye fucking didn’t make that completely obvious so I would love to hang out with you if that’s possible? I can give you my number.”

That did not just happen Will thought for the second time that night. The only thing he heard from the ramble was: “you’re insanely cute,” “eye fucking,” and, “my number.”

“Yes.”

The simple answer received a blush and a deep, beautiful smile from the other boy. He pulled a slip of paper from his pocket and handed it to the boy. Their fingers mingled for a moment. Will unfolded the paper to see 10 digits. This was really happening.

“Shit, I’ve really got to get back to my band. Tell your sister I’ll have all of us sign her CD if you bring it with you. That is, if we do get to hang out. So the pressure’s on you.” The taller boy winked, smiled, and ran past Will after putting the hood back over his head.

Speechless, Will walked to his car and took the driver’s seat.

“What the hell! He was supposed to sign my CD!” Jane was clearly upset, the disc was in one hand and a Sharpie in the other.

“Don’t worry. It’ll get signed.”

*******************************************************

Hey, I hope this is okay. I kinda rushed it because I wanted to get it out for you so it’s not my best but I tried!! Please enjoy :)

The lyrics are from Heather by Canon Gray which is really good!! Go listen!!

I’m going to start working on my other request ASAP so don’t worry!!

Garden Party. A Gwil Short

You can thank @filmslutt​ for that cute little moodboard you see below! I asked her to send me a request because I was super bored and then this came up! Don’t ask me how I got this from that from I think it’s sort of cute in a sense. 

I hope everyone is doing okay with what’s going on in the world. Please be careful and just enjoy the fact that we live in the same Universe that the Bohrap boys live in. 

Love you all and enjoy!

Masterlist

I’d say the best advantage of living on an island far up north would be the smell of the North Atlantic Ocean. The people are so friendly, the food is all home cooked and fresh, and it’s super quiet. The worst thing? When you finally head to civilization for a week to spend with your family ya meet a really great guy and now he’s wanting to bring his friends up to meet me! Not that I haven’t met them over facetime and of course I said yes because he wouldn’t stop talking about them and how great they are! I’ve also seen their instagrams, they’re definitely super close with one another!

So. I thought it would be fun if I had a garden party! I’ve busted my butt through the entire summer with the help of Gwil who kept making time out of his super busy schedule to help me with my gardening. Our Scots Bluebell turned out beautifully all around the house, of course the thistles turned out gorgeous. The bellheathers turned a bright purple, my jacobite roses bloomed of course, and finally my dwarf cornel though taking a little longer than usual, turned out great! 

Alright it’s 1:10 and Gwil just told me he just picked them up from the airport. He said there’s going to be a total of eight people he’s bringing tonight. Luckily I’ve got enough room in my big old house to fit everyone. The last ferry usually leaves around eight and driving here around night isn’t always the best. I’ve got plenty of bunkbeds and single beds. 

For an appetizer I’m starting with Partan Bree (which is crab bisque), then two main cuisines of Bangers and Mash along with the second cuisine of course mini scottish pies. And for dessert it’s Cranachan!

One knock came from the back door as it opened for my friend to come and give me a hand with the cooking. You think I would do this all by myself? Of course not. Look, I love multitasking, but when it comes to cooking I’d like to make sure everything is cooked well. 

“How much time do we have Maisy?” Bonnie asked as she carried in some of the groceries I asked her to buy. Of course I invited my best friend. Though he’s met her multiple times when he drove up here, just didn’t want to be alone when they all come up here. 

“Inverness Airport is where everyone is meeting so we got about five hours. I have to start taking apart the crab if you want to start getting the mash ready.” Bonnie nodded as she walked behind the counter. 

“So who's all coming to this party?” Bonnie asked as I started cutting the skin off the crab. 

“Gwil of course. Joe, Ben and his girl sadly can’t remember her name. Rami and Lucy, and another couple Allen and his wife Jessica.” Finishing the first crap as I moved onto the next one. 

“Holy Hell. Didn’t realize you were feeding’ the masses today!” Bonnie laughed as she began peeling the potatoes. 

“Neither did I until a few days ago when he told me they were out and about. But oh well.” I laughed as I stopped peeling for a second to turn on the TV. 

“What are we feeling Bonnie?” I asked her as I scrolled down to the apps. 

“Have you watched Rosemary's baby?” For some odd reason whenever Bonnie and I cook, we just love watching scary movies. Don’t ask me why because we just do! 

“I’ve heard it’s freaky so yes. Hulu?” 

“Netflix.” I nodded as I opened netflix then got the movie started. 

I finished peeling the last crab as the pile of crab meat was sitting there ready to become some delicious bisque. We started watching the movie while beginning to cut up the crab shells. Bonnie and I kept stopping once every few minutes to watch the movie because it’s just so bizzare. Who names their kid Guy? Imagine growing up with your first name being Guy! No offense to those named Guy, but what a poor kid! 

“From the way Guy’s attitude. She blames it on being an actor, but I think that’s just him being an ass hole.” I pointed out as I placed the crab skins apart of the meat to start cutting them apart. 

“So not ALL actors are self entiled ass holes?” 

“Cheeky bitch.” I tossed a piece of crab skin at her as she darted a piece of skinned potato at me. 

“Gwil is much calmer and knows how the industry works. Oh my god her hair!” I got distracted at how big the top of random chicks hair was! It’s all shoved on top! 

“It looks like a popcorn kernel! Oh she’s dead..” We both stopped to start watching again as the old couple came into the scene. They’re like the old version of Barbie and Ken with the amount of pink they were wearing! My phone ringing broke my train of thought as I put down the knife. Why is Gwil trying to facetime me if he’s driving? I placed my phone against the mixing bowl and answered the call. 

“Is that crab?” He asked as I held the crab's dead claw in front of the camera. 

“Why are you holding a crabs claw? Oh my god does Gwil enjoy nipple clamps? Ben owes me money if this is true!” Joe chimed in as I smirked at the camera. When Gwil and Joe were in the Swiss Alps in that golf tournament, he facetimed me during the golf tournament with them driving around the golf course, while singing Material Girl. It Was a sight. 

“No he isn’t into nipple clamps Joe.” I heard him groan as he aimed the phone over to Gwil who was trying to focus on driving, but kept looking out of the corner of his eye towards the phone. 

“What’s for dinner?” He asked as I went back to cutting up the crab skin. 

“For as many people you’re dragging up here, we’re having Partan Bree, Bangers and Mash, Mini Pies, and for dessert you’ll be eating Cranachan!” I smiled as I heard a bunch of moaning for food in his car. 

“Gwil when were you going to tell us she was going to fatten us up!” Lucy giggled as I kept smiling at Gwil. 

“You guys just left the airport?” I asked them as I finished cutting the skin. 

“Yeah we should be up there in about four hours Maisy. Miss you biscuit.” He started to blush as everyone in the car was beginning to awww and chuckle. 

“Miss you too marmalade . Don’t worry I won't embarrass you in front of your friends quite yet. Until you get up here at least. Now let me cook so I can feed everyone!” I told him as he looked away from the road for a second. 

“Okay Maisy. Love you.” 

“Love you to Gwil. Drive safely please!” I sent him a kiss but I heard a certain someone scoff. 

“Wow you’re not gonna say goodbye to me?” The camera turned to Joe as he was making a very large pouty face. 

“Sorry Joe. Goodbye Joe and please make sure my marmalade drives safety.”

“Much better. Bye Maisy!” Joe waved as he hung up the phone as I got back to it. 

“Biscuit? Marmalade? Where the hell do you guys come up with this stuff?” She asked as I shook my head. 

“Super long story. Sort of what happened when we went to that castle in Tain with biscuits and marmalade. Long but funny.” Bonnie nodded as I got a picture from Gwil. It was a self with everyone in the car. Bonnie looked over at Joe and smiled. 

“That Joe guy is kind of cute.” Bonnie commented as she finished peeling all the potatoes. 

“Maybe he’s single.” I commented as I placed the shells into the oven. 

*Four Hours Later*

Bonnie brought out the last chair from the house as I flung the pure white embroidered tablecloth onto the long table. I want to make sure everyone has some space to eat and relax because it gets a little nipply here at nights, being up here on Orkney Island kind of comes with the package. But I love it up here! 

I walked over to the small shed with my boxes full of packed fairy lights so I could hang around the tree branches. We dragged the old dining room table out of the house and put it under the tree. Luckily we’ve got a warm evening with our usual nice breeze. 

“Hey Bonnie! Can you double check the pies for me?” I asked her as I grabbed one of the chairs to stand up on to hang the lights. 

“Maisy! Do we want music playing in the background for tonight?” Reaching up to wrap the first strand on the closest branch. 

“Ummm. Throw on my Harmonium record would ya?” Weird yes. But their music is just so relaxing and perfect for some really good cleaning and cooking music. For the record the movie took a really dark turn real quick and was so weird. But I would definitely watch it again because it went from oh shit to HOLY SHIT! In a span of twenty minutes!

“Reach you!” I had to balance myself on one foot as I got the strand on the tiny little branch. 

“Gotcha!” I cheered as I kept going with the rest of the lights. 

“MAISY!” She screamed from the kitchen as she hung up the next part of the strand. 

“WHAT!”

“WHAT WINE DO WE WANT?” Wine? WINE!? YOU DON’T HAVE WINE WITH SAUSAGE AND MASH! 

“Bonnie! You know better than that! We have all throughout the entire dinner! I got a few bottles in the cellar of that 90 Shilling down there. But just in case they want wine, grab a bottle of Gavi Di Gavi that I have down there, I think it’s been aged for a little while so it should go good with the Bartan Bree at least.” She turned around to go back inside, but then turned back around to stand in the doorway. 

“Pies are almost done, the soup is hot and ready, also they’re here.” Okay good pies are ready AND GWILS HERE!? SHIT! I climbed down from the chair as I fixed my necklace and let my hair down from my clip. 

I began walking towards the side gate but stopped at the back porch to flip on the backyard lights. The fairy lights I hung from the tree lit the table nicely along with the candles that are soon to be lit. I took one last glance down at myself to see that my floral dress was laying nicely, booties were tied and my necklace was fixed. 

Alright. Here we go! 

Opening the side gate as I heard all of them talking amongst each other as they were walking up to the front door. Gwil looked absolutely stunning in his dark green button up, black pants, oh and those dark brown loafers. A beautiful snack! They were walking up to the front door as I walked all the way around front. 

“Well well well. Look at this merry band coming onto my porch.” They all turned towards me as Gwil smiled. He walked down from the front porch to scoop me up in his arms to do a quick spin. Then a quick peck as it’s rude to kiss multiple times in front of your guest. 

“And these are for you?” He stuck a small bouquet of lilies and lavenders. 

“Thank you biscuit.” One quick peck as he placed his arm around my shoulder as we began walking towards the crowd. 

“Those who haven’t had the chance to meet her. This is Maisy Kerr. You already know Joe of course.” I smiled as Joe walked over to give me a quick hug. 

“I know I should be all nice and not rude, but where is your bathroom?” He was trying not to do a pee dance as I also tried not to laugh. 

“Upstairs, second door on the left.” 

“Oh my god thank you!” He rushed inside as I motioned for everyone else to follow inside. Gwil stopped for a moment to sneak in a few more kisses which made me giggle. 

“I’ve missed you so much Maisy! I hope you don’t mind, after I drive them back down to the airport if I stay with you for a few days? London and Bristol have gotten a little old without you and this place is just relaxing.” Not being sarcastic at all, but I love it when he just comes up and stays. 

“You can literally come over whenever you feel like honey. We’ll talk about it after dinner, and have to go meet everyone.” I placed a soft peck on his cheek then walked past him, but then gave his butt a little slap. God I love that tooshie. 

Everyone was standing around the hallway as we walked in then shutting the door. 

“Shoes on our off?” One of them asked as I locked the door. 

“Either or. We’ll be eating outside this evening and having a bonfire, so I would leave them on.” How can you not have an outdoor dinner without a bonfire. Wouldn’t make much sense if we didn’t have one. 

“Maisy this is a lovely home. I’m Lucy by the way.” Oh my god she’s an adorable woman holy crap!

“Lovely to meet you Lucy and thank you. Has been with my family for generations.” Everyone made it outside as Bonnie was tossing a bunch of kindling wood into the fire pit. 

“Aye welcome! The name Bonnie! Hi Gwil!” She waved as Gwil waved back. 

“Please make yourself comfortable and I’ll start bringing out the food in a few moments.” I turned back into the house as Bonnie scurried over to help me. Which then Gwil decided to come inside and join us. 

“How have ya been Gwil.” She got into the fridge to pull out a few bottles of the yale and wine. 

“Oh fine Bonnie. Just been busy with work.” He told her as I gave the bisque one last stir as I heard Joe coming down the stairs. He stopped in the doorway to look at Bonnie for a quick second. 

“Bonnie this is Joe Mazzello. Joe, this is Bonnie Geddes.” They approached each other and shook each other's hand. 

“Mind giving me a hand Gwil.” I pointed to where the bowls were as he began pulling them out. 

“Bonnie, would you mind taking the wine and ale outside. Also light the candles please?” Bonnie snapped away from Joe as she started to take them outside. Joe of course helped her due to the fact that he was already hooked on her. 

“Well that was quick.” He commented as we both high fived each other. I began pouring the bisque into the bowl as he took the ones with the full ones outside. 

I grabbed the last two bowls as everyone was sitting already and opened the wine and ale. There were two empty chairs that sat across from Bonnie and Joe, Ben was sitting next to her and his girlfriend. Allen sat on the end of the table with his wife on his left, then Rami sitting next to his wife, and Lucy sitting by the empty chair. 

I placed Gwils and bowls at the table. He grabbed his from my hand as I sat down in my chair. Pulling my chair in as everyone was continuing to talk. 

“Ben, that's nasty.” Lucy told Ben as he was finishing his cigarette. 

“Just a hobby Lucy. I don’t do it every day, just every other other day.” He put out the cigarette as he wrapped his arm around his lady friend. 

“Ah Maisy this is Ben and his gal pal Olivia Cooke.” She smiled as I waved over to her. 

“Oh and that’s Allen and his wife Jessica. And of course Rami and Lucy down at the end.” 

“Please dig in everyone.” I stood up as I began unscrewing the cork off the wine bottle. It’s a little stuck! Crap! 

“Gwil hold the bottle.” I asked him as he held the base of the bottle as I tried to pull the cork off. 

“It’s not wanting to come out!” I laughed as I kept trying to pull. I finally got it to pop and the cork flew across the lawn. 

“Perfect.” 

“So tell me Maisy. What exactly do you do?” Rami asked as I began filling up my glass. 

“I own the Wetdrumstick Pub here on Finstown and then a pub called Misty Maid in Kirkwall. Well to be fair it’s been in my family for the longest of times, now I just took them over until the next person comes along.” I told Rami as I passed the bottle to Gwil then sitting back down. 

“And I’m just gonna assume that you are all actors along with Gwil here?” Bonnie asked as I took a sip of my wine. They all laughed at each other as I shrugged to Bonnie. 

“And what about you Bonnie?” Joe looked to Bonnie as she took a drink of her ale. 

“A fisherman..er women. Following the dreams of a Scottslady.” She laughed as Joe nodded his head. 

“Maisy this bisque is delicious! What recipe is this?” Jessica asked as I put down my spoon. 

“I’ll have to find it somewhere or write it down for ya.” 

“Does this have milk in it?”” Joe asked as I nodded. He leaned back in his chair as Bonnie looked at him in confusion. 

“Allergic to dairy?” Bonnie asked him as they began their conversation. I turned to Gwil as he had my arm wrapped around my chair. 

“You shaved? Why?” I just realized he didn’t have that gorgeous stubble. Not that he doesn’t look handsome without it cause my god. But it’s always good to add a little extra garlic powder to your spaghetti sauce. 

“It was for the show because apparently Russian men didn’t have facial hair besides the really crazy ones.” Fair enough. 

“Hey listen since you’re staying here for a few days. Would you mind if we went into Thurso and stopped by my favorite bakery? I’ve been craving some of Mr. Monks Bahulu?” 

“Of course. Not checking into the pubs?” 

“I will before we head into Thurso. Only if you don’t mind...biscuit.” He grabbed my right hand to give it a soft kiss. 

“Not at all. Anytime with you is perfect.” We chowed down on the bisque then onto the sausage and mash, then the mini pies. Everyone was reminiscing on old jobs, catching up, and even future productions. I think it’s pretty cool that Rami is playing a Bond villain in the next big Bond movie. Is there a new bond or no? Or is it that one dude, I haven’t been to the movies in a while so I’m not sure whose who anymore. 

“Who's ready for dessert. And does anyone want coffee or tea?” I think I officially stuffed their faces and stomachs nicely. 

“Coffee for me Lucy?” Rami asked as she took a sip of her wine. 

“Coffee please.” 

“Two coffees.” Allen added as I looked over at Bonnie and Joe. 

“So probably just a bunch of coffee then.” They were off in their own world anyhow. 

Gwil and I walked inside the house as I reached into the fridge to pull out the dessert. He looked underneath the foil as I slid over and hid it from him. 

“Help me with the coffee and you’ll get a nice slice for yourself.” I told him as I grabbed my shredded coffee beans to start making the coffee. Gwil snuck up behind me as he wrapped himself around the back of me. His lips began pecking the side of my neck as I began giggling a little bit. 

“Gwil...hehe..Stop. You’re distracting me.” His lips stopped traveling along my neck as I spun around to face him. A large smile was on his face as I placed my hands on his cheeks, then squishing them together. 

“You come up here so much you might as well just move in.” I told him with his cheeks still pushed together. He mumbled something as I let go to work on the coffee. I should have enough mugs for everyone, should probably pop onto Etsy and get some more if I can. 

“So is that a no?” Ten cups of coffee? That should do it. 

“What’s a no? Did you not want coffee cause I have plenty of tea.” I began filling the coffee pot with the hot water as 

“What if I moved in here with you? I know it would be a hassle for work at first and I would be in London or a few days out of the week. But what if I did move in with you?” The hot water began spilling over the pot as I almost dropped it in the sink. Move in? Wait what? What? WHAT!? Move in? Who on earth would want to move in with me? I live so far up north! It’s a super damp winter! No one wants to live in a super damp winter! 

“I’ll take your silence as a no. Too soon I guess.” Well it’s a super damp winter and I’m only available in certain times because I have two pubs to run and barely have the time to see him or anything. Wait he’s an actor! We hardly see each other in the first place because he’s busy traveling the world already!

“I’ll get a key made for ya as soon as I..Gwil?” When I turned around, he was already outside with the dessert with him. Ah crap! I walked out into the doorway as everyone was digging into the dessert. His head popped up with a little disappointment as I shot him a smile. Should be able to get it made in a few days or so, with him staying there it should be rather easy to give him a copy of the key. Not that I ever lock my door because everyone knows not to come on my property. 

“Coffee will be out in just a few moments everyone.”

I think living with him would be rather fun. 

Taglist:

@leah-halliwell92​ @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​ @bonafiderocketqueen​ @dancingcoolcat​ @yourlocalmusicalprostitute​ @johndeaconshands​

Music #1 ✨

Hiya Lovelies!

I said that I’d make a post about the musicians I love, these are some of the smaller musicians I follow that definitely deserve more love and recognition. Did anyone ask for this? No… Is that going to stop me making this post? Absolutely not!

Bry 

My all time favourite musician ever! I absolutely adore this man and want nothing but the best for him, I’ve followed him for about 7 years and I’ve been to 10 of his shows (and I would do many many more). He is genuinely one of the most lovely people I’ve ever met, he’s just gentle and sweet and has a beautiful Irish accent. He’s just the definition of gentle giant (he’s 6’6, so he stands well over a foot taller than me).  He’s not that active online anymore and isn’t looking at releasing any new music any time soon which is a shame, but I would still wholeheartedly recommend his older stuff. Two of my favourite songs aren’t available on streaming services (sigh…) these songs being ‘Home’ and ‘Fall’ (not ‘Fall in Place’ but that is an absolutely lovely song). His newest EP ‘Love Pop Suicide’ is brilliant and his last single ‘Why Are You Bothering With Me?’ is so so good, the video for WAYBWM makes me feel so many things because it’s full of clips from all his past videos. ‘Disarm’ is another banger, as are ‘Care’, ‘Adventure Time’ and ‘You’re Alright’. I’ve said for years if my first wedding dance isn’t to ‘Your Life Over Mine’ then I will just straight up leave my oen wedding. Oh my goodness I could go on and on! I was meant to be getting a tattoo earlier in the year with a quote from his song ‘Astronauts’ but quarantine put that on hold. Just look at him! He’s such a lamb, I was so so happy that night 💛

Conchúr White

Another absolutely lovely Irish fella, he’s a total sweetheart! I met him in October at a city festival (I specifically bought a ticket for this to see him) and he was so lovely to talk to. I wish I could go back to that time because I think I smiled for 3 weeks straight afterwards, even when I think about it now I get ridiculously giddy! I was meant to see him play his first headline show in Dublin 3 weeks ago but alas that plan was cancelled, hopefully I’ll be able to make it to the rescheduled date. He released his debut EP ‘Bikni Crops’ in March and it’s honestly so good! The title track ‘Bikini Crops’ is amazing, but I think ‘Daisies’ is my favourite on the EP. He’s got some brilliant unreleased tracks that I heard at the festival and through livestreams, I cannot wait for him to release ‘The Woman in the War’, I have a video of that on my phone and I just adore it! His songs are beautifully written and he’s an excellent storyteller, he’s a very small musician and I think he deserves so much more recognition!  

Silences 

So Silences was the band that Conchúr was originally part of and that’s how I found him. They were a great little band until they separated to do their own projects in early 2018. I’ve followed them for a fair few years (maybe 5 years now) and I love their sound so much, they’re just really chill and great to just vibe to. I really like ‘Cops and Robbers’ at the moment and I’ve been learning ‘There’s a Wolf’ on guitar recently. ‘Red Dress’ and ‘All these Crimes’ are also great songs. I’m not usually a fan of covers but their cover of Thin Lizzy’s ‘Dancing in the Moonlight’ is so so good! 

Dave Giles

Well Dave is one of the best songwriters I’ve ever heard, his songs are just beautiful! I saw him once in 2017 when he was supporting Bry and that was when I started listening to him but didn’t pay that much attention to him in all honesty. Then he released his newest album ‘Tennessee & 48th’ and oh boy! I sure did regret sleeping on his music! It’s such a good album, honestly any song on that album is worth a listen. I particularly like ‘No One Knows’, ‘Devil in a Green Dress’, ‘Last Man on the Moon’, and ‘Shoebox’ but for real any song on that album in particular is amazing! Like any musician, he’s a bit of an odd fella and he doesn’t wear shoes when he performs (I don’t know if I fear or admire him for that), but he’s pretty sound and he’s a massive space nerd too so his twitter is interesting to follow. This is the only photo I have with him, just don’t question the hat… 

383s

I don’t really know what to say about this band, mainly because I know nothing about them… They released one album in 2011 and then disappeared off the face of the earth, they fluctuate between 1 and 3 monthly listeners on Spotify, although once it did peak at 5. I really like their song ‘Five Working Senses’ and I encourage you to check them out. Maybe we can get them to 6 listeners!

Temples 

This is probably the most popular group on this post but they are a band that I got into quite recently after winning some tickets to one of their gigs in a Twitter giveaway and I had a great time! It was my last concert before quarantine and I wish I’d just enjoyed myself more (I also tried to invite the guy that I liked at the time and he straight up said no so rip me). I’ve mostly been listening to their album ‘Hot Motion’ and it’s sooo good, I’d never really ventured into psychedelic rock before and I’ve got to admit that I am a fan now. They are a trip back in time to look at, imagine a proper old school 70s rock band with the big collared shirts, flared pants, platforms, long hair, everything! Absolutely brilliant! I love their songs ‘The Howl’ and ‘The Beam’; I listen to them a lot in shower and they just make things a bit more fun. ‘Atomise’ is another great one, but it kind of makes me want to lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling for a few hours not because it’s sad or anything, it just has a very specific vibe.

So there's some of the "smaller" musicians I love, I'm planning on doing a post about the bigger ones I like. Have heard of any of them before? If you decided to check them out, what did you think? I'd love to hear what people think!

Sorry this post doesn't fit the cottagecore theme that well but hey it's my blog 💕

~ Love Ginger xx

08/06/2020

Harry Potter - Sleigh Ride

Gentle white flakes drifted down out of the nearly crystal blue winter skies, coating the lands surrounding Hogwarts with a light blanket of white that brought a peaceful air throughout Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In the various dorms, students were just waking up to the glistening sunshine dancing upon the snow. But in the Astronomy tower, there was one person watching the entire scene with a smile that rivaled the snow for twinkling light.

Harry had been up for nearly three hours now, and had done some of the exercises Professor McGonagall had requested the entire team to perform daily. Normally, he would have done these starting about now, but he had special plans for his day today. Plans that required him to be up and about early, and ahead of one other person. Looking up, he smiled as a snow white form pierced through the blue and cruised towards him on silent wings. “Hey Girl, safe trip?”

Getting a soft bark of acknowledgement as she nestled against his cheek, he chuckled as he held out a few pieces of cold bacon for her to eat. He’d saved it from yesterday, and would give her something fresher later, but for now she was giving him a rolled up scroll. Unfurling it, his smile lit up even more as he saw a key part of his plans was ready and would be on time.

Turning around, he decided it was time to get back to Gryffindor Tower, hopefully his friend Dobby would have the cups of hot chocolate mixed with coffee ready for him. Of course, when had Dobby not been anything but wonderful since the whole… debacle second year?

His exit was stalled by a familiar blonde head coming up the stairs, a timid smile on her face. “Hello Harry, the Dabberblimps suggested I might find you here. I was wondering if I could ask to assist you in your plans.”

Harry paused, staring at her in silence for a moment as he parsed her words. “What plans?”

“The ones that have you getting Hedwig to visit you up here so early,” she commented as she held out a napkin with fresh bacon in it to the owl. “Instead of having her meet you in the Great Hall later.”

“Walk with me. I think you can help me with something,” he said, accepting his fate with relative ease. Luna was a bit strange, but always helpful and a good friend.

Maybe he could ‘help’ her along with something else as well.

Back in the common room, he smiled as Dobby stood next to two steaming mugs with sticks of peppermint jutting out of the whipped cream on top. The house elf gave him a knowing smile being winking and popping out of the room. “I will have to get him more socks for Christmas. I hope the owl orders will be able to ship them to me in time.”

“I’m sure that they can, especially if you go with the Americans and their mismatched socks,” Luna commented as a third mug appeared next to the other two, a special mug with a raven perched on a lion’s head on the side. Picking it up, she stirred it with the peppermint stick. “Do you want me to wake Hermi-”

“No need,” Hermione interrupted as she exited the stairs, rubbing her eyes. For being a morning lark during the school year proper, the holidays seemed to bring out a night owl in Hermione. Getting to the mugs, she blinked as she pointed towards the two on the table. Harry picked one up and handed it to her, allowing her to wrap her hands around it and inhale the smell of the chocolatey mix with a happy sigh following. “Mine.”

“Yes Hermione, it’s yours, and plenty of time to enjoy it before breakfast,” Harry agreed as he guided her towards their loveseat. At least that’s what Fred and George had dubbed it long ago, and no other Gryffindor decided to counter it. Perhaps because they were almost always sitting on it together, or with Ron nearby. “Ron should be down about five minutes before they open for brunch in the Great Hall, and then he wanted to do something with Seamus and Dean.”

“Homework?” Hermione asked as Harry sat her down with a pillow to support her as Luna pulled out a brush and began to try and style her hair while she was half asleep. The bushy mess was made… less… yeah, it was an uphill battle that. But Hermione seemed to enjoy it as she gave a happy little smile.

Harry watched for a moment as he sipped his own drink before answering, “He finished a bit of it last night, and I think it looked okay. He said he was going to look at it again tonight before asking you about it tomorrow.”

That had been an excellent investment of three chocolate frogs, and a couple hours with his broom, well spent. The three of them were key parts of his plan, and he hoped that they were going to be up and ready in time. Perhaps he should go up and, ah there they go. Early.

“Mmm, good, if he stays on schedule, he will be much better off, and can have days where he can hang out instead of rushing it at the end,” Hermione agreed with a yawn barely hidden behind her mug. “Honestly, it is like he doesn’t understand that this is important.”

Luna leaned forward to set the brush down, having surrendered to the tangle for the time being, just in time for another red head to catch her attention emerging from the girl’s stairs. “Oh, hello Ginerva, did you sleep well?” she asked softly as she picked up her drink and turned to address her properly.

Ginny turned and gave her a surprised smile at seeing her in the Gryffindor Common Room without her having brought her in. Her pleasure was genuine though, since she loved having her there. “Hello Luna, I slept well enough. Thank you. And you?”

“Good, good,” she offered while adjusting her blonde hair back behind her ear.

“Are those new earrings?” Ginny asked, leaning in closer to inspect the silver bell shaped earring.  “I love them. They’re very cute.”

“Thank you, I made them myself,” Luna confessed as she blushed slightly at the praise, her silvery eyes darting to Harry and Hermione that were sitting nearby before she held out her drink. “Would you like some? It’s a drink Harry introduced me to. Hot chocolate, coffee, and a little peppermint.”

Ginny took the mug in her hand, smiling warmly at Luna before taking a drink. Lowering the mug, she smiled broadly, either not seeing or not caring about the dollop of whipped cream on the end of her nose. “It’s pretty great. Thank you, Luna.”

Luna looked at the dollop for a moment, before letting out a soft giggle and pulling out a tissue from a pocket on her jumper. “Here, let me help you,” she offered as she swiped the nose clean of cream.

“Thank you again. I’m going down to do some laps on the brooms before brunch. Would you like to meet up later and do something?”

“Oh! I think that would be a good idea. Perhaps around noon? By the great hall entrance?” Luna asked, her silver eyes barely flicking over to Harry who gave her a lazy thumbs-up behind the loveseat while he helped Hermione wake up.

“Sounds great,” Ginny agreed with a bright smile. “I might just have a light breakfast then, and a bit of lunch, and then we can figure out from there.”

“I’m sure we will,” Luna agreed with a matching smile.

With that, Ginny returned the mug to the blonde, before heading out for the morning. Luna waited a few seconds after she had left before turning back to the loveseat and slumping over the back of it. “Harry…”

“You did great Luna, and I’m sure you’ll have a banger time this afternoon,” he offered with a hopeful smile, though Hermione seemed to be lost in thought about something. Luna honestly half expected her to have an Arithmancy book in front of her with how focused she looked.

Before the brilliant witch could ask a question, Harry cut in. “Well, I need to shower after my workout this morning. Hermione, would you mind helping Luna out? I think she needs to get ready too.”

“I? What? Harry, I don’t know if that is such a good idea,” Hermione countered while pointing to her hair. “I’m not versed in Wizarding fashion, and…”

“Could we try some Muggle looks?” Luna asked quietly. “I quite liked that one I saw in the magazine a girl on the train had… I think I the jumper would work for it…”

“I… won’t promise anything Luna, I’m not the best with fashion in the Muggle world either.”

“But I trust you.”

Harry smiled as he saw the softening of Hermione’s features into a fond, almost sisterly smile. She always did have a soft spot for the blonde, as some Ravenclaws had found out when they had picked on her in Hermione’s hearing. He wasn’t entirely sure what spells were used, but he was pretty sure they managed to get things sorted back out.

Ginny’s Wedgie hex later that day was probably overkill, but he wasn’t about to say it to either of them.

Slipping out of the room, he went to prepare for the next phase of his plan.

A few hours later, Harry smiled as the clock chimed twelve in the Great Hall. it was time. Looking towards Luna standing by the front door, he smiled as he saw her playing with the hem of her jumper, looking down at the nice slacks and boots she was wearing. Beside her was a stack of blankets he had arranged for Dobby to have ready. It was time.

Ginny was rushing in just as the final bell chimed, skidding to a half in front of Luna while breathing heavily. He couldn’t quite hear what was being said, but the chiming of sleigh bells filling the air made Harry realize that it was fine. Everything was fine.

As a grin spread over his face, he turned just in time for Hermione to look at him with a suspicious look on her face. “What did you do?”

“I talked with the professors and, using a little of my funds, set up a special event to cheer people up,” he commented as the doors opened to reveal horse drawn sleighs pulling up in front of the steps of the castle, with Ron, Dean, and Seamus acting as footmen in a cross between tuxedos and dress robes.

“Oh, this is… Harry, you shouldn’t have,” Hermione seemed lost for words as Harry led her over to the doors, taking a blanket from the stack. Ron gave him a smirk and a nod before helping the two of them into the second sleigh, the first one already off with Luna and Ginny.

Harry curled up next to her, laying the blanket over the pair of them before nodding to the driver, who set them off with a ringing of the bells, turning left instead of right after the first sleigh. “I don’t know, this weather is too lovely to not have a sleigh ride together with you.”

Hermione seemed ready to say something as her cheeks began burning with a blush, before curling up against his chest and just enjoyed the sleigh ride. It was nice and peaceful, and Harry was right.

It was lovely weather for a sleigh ride together.

Other couples, riding other sleighs would agree if they were asked, but a man standing behind broad windows stroked his white beard with a smile curling his lips. “Very nice young Mr. Potter. Ho ho ho. Very nice indeed.”

And with a wink and a twinkle, the man was gone.

Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night

Kinder Eggs and Blowholes

Author: Thymeth

Year: 2006

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: The Hitcher/Rudi

"Get out of the pool!" "What's the sweat, squire? Has your guitar left ya for a younger pair of fingers?" "Shut up about my guitar! And get your jalapeño-green ass out of the pool!" "I'd rather be jalapeño-green than in a dress." "It is not a dress!" "What the hump is going on?" Fuck, not again. Rudi turned to find Fossil coming towards them looking very angry. "The Hitcher is in the Porpoise Pool again, Mr Fossil." "He's not fucking allowed a hundred feet near the Porpoise Pool, how the fuck did he end up in it?" "I just..." "Look, squire," the Hitcher broke in, "It's just a bit of 'armless fun, nothing the kiddies won't enjoy." "I don't fucking care if the kiddies enjoy it or not!" Fossil yelled, "Get your bony mouldy ass out of there pronto. I'll see you in my office. Now. Both of you!" And he turned and stalked off in a huff. "Come on," Rudi snapped "Oh, you want it," the Hitcher cooed to the porpoises backed into a huddle at the other end of the pool, "Oh, I know you want it, you slags." "Fucking..!" Rudi exclaimed and stopped as a family passed, "Just... testing the water... yes, testing for... for... Hey, little boy, I have a Kinder Egg for you behind my door." "Oi! No Kinder Eggs, Mozart! You're not allowed near the kiddies." The Hitcher followed that order, did he, but not the one about the porpoises? Green-faced bitch. "Fuck you," Rudi snapped at him and turned back to the family. But they had already left, in a bit of a hurry, it seemed. A few minutes later, they stood in Fossil's office, the Hitcher wet from the waist down and Rudi drenched after the Hitcher had pushed him into the Pool. "What part of 'Keep the Hitcher out of the fucking Pool' don't you understand, Rudi?" Fossil was yelling, "Any moron could do it." "That's yer problem, innit?" the Hitcher said, "He ain't even clever enough to be a moron." "Shut your bangers-and-mash-hole, ass-wipe." "And he was twiddling with his guitar again this morning," the Hitcher continued nonchalantly, "Stroking it. Looked like he was 'aving a wank to me." "I was not..." Rudi hissed, "I was changing a string!" "No guitar needs strings changed twice-a-day," the Hitcher answered, "Not even Santana's guitars. You've gone wrong in that door of yours." "Don't you talk to me about Santana's guitar-whores, pea-face, or my guitar and I will be all over you before you can say 'I've got a chimney'!" "Shut up, you dung balls!" Fossil shouted. From the looks of him, he had been shouting quite some time. But neither Rudi nor the Hitcher had noticed. "Now, I want you both to get back to work and stay away from the Porpoise Pool, children and that fucking guitar!" "It is all your fault," Rudi proclaimed as they left Fossil's office. "I ain't the one with the guitar fetish, dress-man." "It is not a dress!" Rudi shouted, for the hundredth time that morning. "You can keep saying that 'til yer face turns green like mine, but it'll still be a dress." "It is not a dress! That is not important," Rudi said, steering the conversation back to where he had begun it, "It is all your fault." "They were begging for it, the salt-water slags, you know they were." Rudi opened the door to the Keepers' Hut and they went in. "None of the animals 'beg for it', I think you will find." "And guitars do?" the Hitcher said, standing in the middle of the room with his hands on his bony hips. "That is completely different!" "You stick your cock in a guitar. You're Lord of Normal, intcha?" "I do not 'stick my cock in a guitar'." "O-ho, but I think you do. I've seen ya, squire, all hard and putrid and greased up ready to ram yer guitar to high heaven." "You... You..." Rudi stuttered before quite realising what the Hitcher had just said, "Have you been watching me?" "Of course I watch ya, d'you think I'm stupid? I wouldn't want that thing to get near me. But if it did," the Hitcher said, his voice darkening, "I'll cut you up." "I wouldn't go near you with a twenty-foot pole if I had to and that's the truth," Rudi answered, "You disgust me with your talk of these base urgings." "What are you, castrated? Just you wait and see, I'll get at those porpoises. 'Cause I'm pure liquid evil." And with that the Hitcher pushed passed him and out of the door. Rudi hurried over to the window to see if he had really gone. All this talk of porpoises and guitars had gone straight to his cock, threatening to explode any minute. Yes, the Hitcher was stalking away towards the Hoofed Mammals. Rudi drew a deep breath, steadying himself. "Miranda," he called softly, creeping over to the sofa and ducked his hand behind it, "Rudi's here to take care of you." He found his guitar and pulled her out, her varnished wooden body gleaming in the sunlight from the window, strings glittering. Oh, she was beautiful. "There, there, Miranda," he whispered as he kissed her neck, "I love you, my dear. Do you love me?" Her strings vibrated, shivered as if in ecstasy, and he pulled her closer, pressing her to him. "Oi!" "Fuck!" Rudi exclaimed and pulled away hurriedly to find the Hitcher standing in the doorway, "Just... just..." "You're not 'changing a string' again?" the Hitcher snapped, "You purple pervert." "No," Rudi answered hurriedly, "Just tuning." He strummed a chord, Miranda's strings against his fingers sending lightning bolts to his groin despite the Hitcher's scrutinising gaze boring into him. "I'm telling ya, you've gone wrong," the Hitcher said finally, "Lucky I'm 'ere, eh? To stop ya being disgusting." And he turned and slammed the door. This did not bode well. Rudi knew; he was wise. His urgings still evident, he strapped Miranda over his shoulder, her body hiding his shame and hurried after the Hitcher. He rushed towards the Porpoise Pool and, sure enough, there he was, squatting at the edge, green fingers in the water, cooing. "Step away from the Pool!" Rudi ordered, surprised at how commanding his voice sounded. Miranda leant heavily on him, encouraging him. "And if I don't?" the Hitcher asked. "If you don't do as I tell you," Rudi said, his courage growing, "Miranda and I will make you!" "I should like to see ya try," the Hitcher laughed. "Very well," Rudi said, straightening up, ready to show off for Miranda, to show her what kind of a man he was. He chose his chord carefully, touching her most favourite spots, and she yelled out in pleasure as he grazed her strings and pressed herself against him, so hard and suddenly that in one flash he came, barely registering the Hitcher flying through the air and hitting the wall with a dull thud. The music died around them and, breathing deeply, Rudi cradled Miranda in his arms and went, still shaking slightly, back to the Keepers' Hut. "Hello, little boy," Rudi said and swooped down towards a terrified-looking face, "Do you want a Kinder Egg?" He had put Miranda away now and was on his way to make sure the Hitcher was behaving himself. "Oi!" came a shout and before he had time to register what was happening, Rudi found himself half-way to the ground, something warm and heavy around him middle. He barely had time to think before he landed, his hair cushioning his head but his door flying open, the extra hand grazing its knuckles rather badly on the gravel as he rolled over and over, the warm something still clinging to him. Rudi gathered all his strength and managed to stop and found himself looking down at the Hitcher lying pinned beneath him, white hair fanned out around his head, coat dusty and askew. "What the fuck?!" Rudi exclaimed, breathless. "Stay away from the kiddies," the Hitcher snapped, breathing heavily, "No Kinder Eggs!" An anger fiercer than anything Rudi had ever experienced flared up inside him, threatening to burst him open like a volcano. How dared the Hitcher lecture him about Kinder Eggs again?! Hadn't Rudi just stopped him from getting into the Porpoise Pool? He should be fucking grateful for being saved from Fossil's rage. And all he did was slam Rudi to the ground and tell him to keep away from the kiddies? He fucking needed to be taught a lesson. And not just a simple I've-Got-Something-Behind-My-Door Test, oh no. A proper lesson. The Hitcher wheezed self-satisfied beneath him, grinning, and Rudi knew, for he was wise, that violence would get him nowhere. Not that he was a violent man anyway; he was, after all, a High Priest. No, a stronger remedy would be needed. And the most potent thing in the world, he had been taught already on his first day as a Monk, was love. And love was something the Hitcher did not understand. So Rudi bent down and kissed him. But instead of pulling away and being outraged as he should, the Hitcher answered Rudi's kiss rather more passionately than was strictly necessary. And Rudi wanted to run away and hide somewhere safe and dark with his guitar. But he had started this, he reflected, so he'd better finish it. The Hitcher needed to learn his lesson. No-one, not even green-faced Cockneys, pushed Rudi to the ground and told him to stay away from kiddies when he'd just rescued them from the Porpoise Pool! Rudi touched the Hitcher's lips with his tongue and sucked on them, noticing an uncharacteristic distant minty taste. But the Hitcher did not seem phased and his tongue pushed into Rudi's mouth, invading, possessively. Rudi gasped, unwillingly opening his mouth further, and the Hitcher wasted no time in owning him completely. "What the hell is going on here?" Rudi pulled away instantly and sat up, squinting against the sun to see a figure looming over them. Bainbridge. "Nothing!" Rudi stuttered, "Just changing a string. Fuck! No. Just... Nothing! ...Sir." " 'E's raping me, that's what's 'appening," the Hitcher said, "Using me own tactics against me. Gotta admire the boy, eh?" "I'm fucking not raping you, you perverted old cucumber," Rudi snapped back, "It was you who pushed me to the ground." "Enough!" Bainbridge boomed, "I don't care who did what, all I care about is you two getting out of my way." "Sorry, sir," Rudi said and got up, the Hitcher scrambling up after him. "Now, I'd watch my step around here if I were you," Bainbridge said darkly, "Who knows when my tongue might get the better of me and accidentally let slip what I just saw." "I'd cut you up if you did," the Hitcher answered equally darkly. "Really?" Bainbridge said and put his hands on his hips, "I'd reconsider if I were you. You see, grasshopper, I happen to know that you're an illegal immigrant." "I'm not," the Hitcher said, "I'm pure Cockney." "Pure Cockney you may be," Bainbridge answered smugly, "But you're still from another planet. Alien in the word's every sense, in fact." "I... You... You won't get away with this, you slag!" the Hitcher raved, "You've got no proof, I'll cut you up, I'm pure evil, me." "You're green, man! You've got a polo for an eye!" The Hitcher fell silent, dumb-founded just like Rudi. The Hitcher was from another planet?! Well, that did explain his green skin. And his fascination with porpoises. And his constant banging on and on about being Cockney. "As for you," Bainbridge continued, pointing a gloved finger at Rudi, "You'd better watch yourself too. You're to stay out of public view as much as possible, your stupid hair is blocking out the sun." "And if I don't?" Rudi asked, instantly cursing himself. No good ever came of standing up to Bainbridge. "I know what happened at that music shop, in the guitar section," Bainbridge said, "The newspapers might have blamed it on a rampant pigeon with diarrhoea but I know better. And that Santana concert last summer." "You fiend!" Rudi hissed. "Thank you," Bainbridge said with a small bow. "Why don't ya just fire us then, squire? We'll be out of yer face in no time." "And where do you propose I find suckers stupid enough to work 14 hours a day for less than minimum wage to replace you?" Bainbridge asked, "I think you'll stay here. Good day." And he left, his smug smile almost visible thought the back of his head. "It is all your fault," Rudi snapped. But the Hitcher did not answer, he just grabbed hold of Rudi's arm and began pulling him in the opposite direction. "What the fuck are you doing?" Rudi exclaimed, trying to free himself. But he couldn't. Who would have guessed the thin, green man was this strong? "Come on," the Hitcher cooed, almost softly, "Come with yer Uncle Hitcher, you slag." "You... Fuck!" Rudi shouted as he realised what was happening, "You are not going to have your wicked way with me, you rapist!" "Who said anything about rape?" the Hitcher whispered, backing Rudi into the Keepers' Hut, fingers digging into his arms, coming closer, "You want it, you slag. You know ya do." "I most certainly do not!" Rudi said. Then he found himself sat hard down on the sofa and the Hitcher climbing onto his lap. "O-ho, I think you do," he hissed in Rudi's ear, "Admit it, squire, I may be all green skin and bones, but I'll give ya more pleasure than that guitar of yours ever will." Rudi pulled away, alarmed. "When did you begin thinking of others more than yourself?" "Don't get yer door all excited," the Hitcher answered, his twig-like fingers roaming Rudi's chest, "I like a tight, cold blowhole around my cock as much as the next guy, but I've never been able to resist a bit of man-flesh. And certainly not one as willing as yours." And with those words, he grabbed Rudi's crotch and squeezed hard, making Rudi cry out, much like a cat that'd just been stepped on. "You're loving it, you whore," the Hitcher cooed, licking Rudi's neck, "I'll fuck ya so 'ard there'll be nothing left of ya but yer dress and yer door." "It is not a dress," Rudi answered automatically, breathlessly. "I don't fucking care," the Hitcher said and pushed Rudi down on his back and straddled him, "It looks like a dress." "It is... not..." Rudi tried, but had to give up, unable to concentrate with the Hitcher sitting heavily on him, rocking backwards and forwards, "I... Fuck." "Don't ya worry about that," the Hitcher whispered hoarsely and leant down, tugging at the neckline of Rudi's robe, kissing his collar bone, "We will, boy, we will." "Get out of the pool!" "Get yer finger out yer anus, I've got needs," the Hitcher shouted up at him, "I'm a right horny old man-witch. Nothing can satisfy me except a cold, wet blowhole. Unless..." He turned around, grinning up at Rudi. "Unless what? Say what you want to say in a plain way, don't play around in riddles." "Unless I can 'ave me burning loins satisfied by some quivering man-flesh in a dress." "It is not a dress!" Rudi exclaimed, "It never has been and it never will be!" "And I still don't care," the Hitcher answered and climbed out of the Pool, leaving a trail of water as he stepped lightly over to Rudi, "Come 'ere, you slag." "And if I don't?" "Then," the Hitcher said and pulled Rudi closer by his necklaces, "I'll tell Fossil about you and yer guitar in the Ape Salon this morning." "I have not been near the Ape Salon," Rudi protested as the Hitcher grabbed his arse. But he could not help moaning ever so slightly when the Hitcher's thigh pressed between his legs. "Fossil don't know that, does 'e?" the Hitcher said, grinning up at him, "But I'd tell him anyway. 'Cause I'm pure evil."

It’s Been Two Weeks...

The thing about that kiss was it wouldn’t get out of his goddamned head. Which, albeit, made one on one time with Nathaniel Plimpton Jr. much more efficient and he was all about efficiency, but it was still torture.

Because the other thing about the kiss was that it had happened one month ago. Normally, he would have moved on by now, forgotten all about that weirdo Bunch and could at least be enjoying all the other no-strings-attached ass he was getting. But something about her and her fucking Ravenclaw-but-really-Gryffindor way had snuck its way under his skin like that time his father told him he would never be the son his father deserved. Okay, different than that, because that particular memory didn’t give him an erection every time it came up, but you know, kind of the same thing.

Let’s lay out the total timeline here, for the idiots in the back.

The kiss had happened a month ago, and Rebecca had been left at the altar two weeks ago. As a semi-professional bridesmaids banger, Nathaniel didn’t exactly know the protocol on a proper mourning period for being left at the altar, but when a woman almost throws herself off a cliff when she realizes her groom isn’t showing, he thought maybe two weeks was a little short.

Although, he thought as he sat at his desk unable to focus on the case prep in front of him, the only reason the wedding was rushed in the first place was because of their night in the elevator. So, maybe two weeks was actually too long. Straight white male logic, gotta love it.

He grabbed his cell phone from the desk, shoving aside the case files and leaned forward in deep concentration.

“Hey Bunch,” he typed quickly, brow set in determination, “I can think of a few ways to get back at your ex for that shit he pulled….”

Backspacebackspacebackspace. Rapidly he erased the text and started over.

“You. Me. My private plane.” he started. “We can get back at water cooler and your dad in one fell swoop.”

Backspacebackspacebackspace. A low groan emitted from his throat as he deleted that text faster than the previous.

“U OK?” he typed, shaking his head even as he hit the question mark button. Backspacebackspacebackspace.

He looked up and caught his reflection in the mirror wall he’d had installed across from his desk so he could see his running form.

You are Nathaniel Plimpton. You are strong, you are sexy and you are a goddamned demi-god. Get it together. Her nipples are probably weird anyway.

Ok, thinking about her nipples was getting him nowhere…

“He was a douche. You deserve better.” he typed and sent it before he could stop himself.

Maybe that was the sort of thing you’re supposed to say to someone’s face, but sincerity in person had never really been his thing.

A minute later Rebecca was in his office, shutting the door behind her and looking at him with all that strange feminine fury that freaked him out but also kind of turned him on.

“What the hell is this, Nathaniel?”  she said, waving her phone spastically in front of him.

“What?” he asked defensively, raising an eyebrow at her and crossing his arms.

“Two weeks of actually really weirdly contrived silence from you and then this? I mean, yeah, it was cool of you to not let my asshole of an absent father use your private jet  —“ she paused, a new fire lighting behind her eyes. “Actually no, that wasn’t cool, it was pretty much basic human decency for people who have private jets to loan out. Yeah I’m pretty sure it’s in the rich guy handbook  that if someone is just the worst ever after you gave them a private-jet-related chance to redeem themselves that they no longer get private jet privileges. So I take back my semi-compliment - you did the bare minimum there, whoop de freakin do.”

Small pause, big breath. When she inhaled her whole bosom rose, which he 100% stared at and she, thank God, was 100% to preoccupied with her current stream of angry screaming to notice.

“So you did the bare minimum after I was left at the altar and nearly flung myself off a cliff and then you actively avoided me for two weeks, making things pointedly weird in the office because we work on literally all the same cases. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to address your boss in a meeting and have him whistle loudly to the tune of the A-Team theme song and look at everyone at the table besides you before finally just answering the question with a weird sweeping arm motion and addressing the whole table rather than acknowledging you asked the question to begin with?”

“I did that one ti—“ he started, but she cut him off - “No, no no, I am talking. If you have something to say why don’t you just text it you egotistical, pathological, there’s more -icals in the dictionary that describe you I’m sure but I am too furious to think about them right now.”

“Are you done?” Nathaniel answered cooly.

“Actually, yes.”

“Great. Now, if I may in my defense, that text was waaaaaaaay better than the first three I considered sending.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Oh, solid defense.”

“Also, I don’t really know how to, you know, do this,” he added, shrugging and sitting back in his chair, spreading his arms wide. Manspreading, he was pretty sure Rebecca would call it. And whatever, it made him feel powerful. What was wrong with that? After all, he was powerful.

“Do what, exactly, Nathaniel?”

“You know, like, check in on your feelings,” he said, shuddering a little in disgust at the word “feelings.”

“Wow,” Rebecca said, her eyes widening as she raised her hands up, clearly mocking him, “Wow, I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“I mean,” Nathaniel said, standing up and walking to her side of the desk now. Nathaniel Plimpton did a lot of things well in life - well, most things, really - but being mocked was not one of those things. “I stand by what I said. He was a douche. You do deserve better.”

“And what, you think better is you?”

“Do you really want me to get started on the many, many ways in which I am far superior to the human flip flop who abandoned you on your wedding day?” he said, folding his arms across his chest and suppressing a laugh.

“Josh Chan is a good man, he just -“ this time it was Nathaniel who cut Rebecca off.

“Oh no, no no. Nope. You are not still defending this asshat after he left you at the altar to become a goddamned priest. Flip flop is not a good man. A good man hears the call of God before the day of the wedding and has the decency to let you know that before you’re wearing a veil and a white dress waiting for him to pledge his forever to you. Water cooler is a lot of things, but a good man he is not, that I promise you.”

“And you think you’re some knight in shining armor?”

“Now I never said that,” he said, his voice dripping with confidence, “Though I would look pretty fantastic in a suit of armor. Remind me to order one later.” He ignored the confused look she flashed him in that moment. Clearly she had no concept of the depth of his riches or his one-two punch combination superiority/inferiority complex.

Easily distracted by the idea of himself in a full suit of armor, Nathaniel snapped back to the conversation at hand. “I didn’t say I was a hero, except for that one time when I totally was. Hell, I didn’t even say I was a good man. But I sure as hell wouldn’t leave a woman at the altar.”

“You’d never get to the altar.”

“Ah, yes, but see therein lies the beauty of it. At least when I know what I don’t want, I’m honest about it. And when I know what I want, I’m honest about that too. Rebecca Bunch, I would still like to have sex with you. See? Honest. I have zero interest in marrying you or even being exclusive with you because monogamy is a social construct that is far too constraining for a man of my physical prowess and quite frankly I’m hoping you go back to weirding me out after a good bang session. But definitely we should get it on. Maybe more than once, if you’re good.”

“That’s offensive and inappropriate on so many levels,” she said.

“Sure, but it was honest and you kinda liked it.”

“You are so wrong, mister. So wrong,” she said and walked back toward the office door.

“Hey Bunch,” he said as she was leaving. She turned back but just barely.

“Don’t forget - you’re totally free now. To do whatever you want, with whomever you want.”

And if he wasn’t mistaken, the fire in her eyes shifted just a bit when she left and she was definitely suppressing a flirty smile. Game on, Plimpton.

Scoop! - Chapter 4

A/N: A little earlier than expected, but I’m in the right mood to update. And mayyyyyybe, chapters 5 and 6 are around the corner as well. Have fun!

Not A Date Night

It’s been two days since they’d spoken about dinner which meant that now, on Friday evening at 6 p.m., Jo had to hurry to make it back home from work in time. She needed about half an hour from the Daily News building to her flat. Then she was about to meet Tom at 7:15. They decided on The Porchester, an English Pub which served Burgers as well as fish, and Bangers and Mash, since Tom had been away from England for so long that he missed the typical English food and Jo thought the pub had the least obvious date vibe.

So, when she hastily grabbed her things, and saw William shooting her a knowing wink and smile, Jo just rolled her eyes instead of getting into a discussion about personal space and her boss trying to get on her nerves. He had almost cornered her that morning, asking for updates after their editorial meeting. Luckily, Jo had another article to write, and three in line for additional editing. A normal day at work and not an exciting task at all, but that morning she could not have been happier. The young woman didn’t know how often she would have to tell William that he would get the news as soon as she got them. Without yelling or cursing at him, if possible.

“You’re in a hurry today, aren’t you, darling?” Jo’s co-worker, Mary, spoke from her side, just as Jo was about to get to the elevator.

“Yes, I have to go, I’m meeting –“

“Tom?” Mary finished for her.

That made Jo stop and look at the blonde 42-year-old with slightly wide eyes. “How do you know about Tom?” she asked, forgetting the elevator and her ride back to her flat for a moment. Did William say anything to her? Jo thought she wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, that was exactly the reason she didn’t tell Sam and Nick – and Mary, whom she considered her friend as well.

The slightly older woman chuckled at that. “Sam couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Said he wanted to go out himself and that you wouldn’t be home, either. When I asked where you’d be, he told me you’ve met someone and that you’d have a date tonight,” she then smirked.

Jo huffed. “It’s hardly a date. We’ve met once and go to The Porchester. Just two maybe-friends going for a burger,” she explained, rather conveniently in her opinion. “By the way, do you always talk about me when I’m not around?”

“Most of the time, yes,” Mary winked. “But I leave you to it now,” she said as she almost pushed Jo into the elevator. As if she wasn’t the one that made her late in the first place. “And tell me everything about your date on Monday. Or better yet, text me.”

“It isn’t a –“, but Jo didn’t have time to respond as the elevator doors closed on her. She sighed. This wasn’t a date at all. It absolutely wasn’t supposed to be a date and it wasn’t one.

***

She looked beautiful. She really did look beautiful and cute and lovely. So much that Tom had to pinch himself to not get caught up in her, and actually focus.

They’ve met at 7:15, though, Jo was a little out of breath when she arrived, but she was on time nevertheless. They’ve made the reservation in her name – Kramer was her last name, he learned – mostly to stay relatively anonymous. Hiddleston did have quite the ring to it. Now they were sitting at a table in the back of the restaurant, something Jo must have requested when making the reservation, and something he was glad for. Except the one odd look from the waitress, who recovered pretty quickly, they didn’t seem to be bothered by anyone. At least, Tom didn’t see any smartphone flashes so far.

He couldn’t take the eyes off the brown-haired woman in front of him, with her light make-up and sparkling green eyes. She had taken off her dark-grey coat with white highlights, and sat in front of him with a simple black dress and black tights, which she donned with a pair of grey-white-black striped shoes. She looked adorable, yet feminine and simple like – her.

At the moment they talked about their week, respectively. They had ordered their meals and drinks – a grilled plaice fillet with roasted vegetables paired with a Chardonnay for Jo, and Bangers and Mash with a beer for himself – and were now chatting along. Jo had a lot of editing to do during the week, as well as some articles to write, and was at the office from half past seven in the morning up to at least half past six, he learned. Tom had a lot of meetings, mostly about his upcoming visit to South Sudan and his appearances at the Evening Standards Theatre Awards as well as the preparation for the documentary he was working on at the moment. It was luck they were both free this Friday evening, it seemed.

They talked lightly, though there was one question Tom had, ever since Jo had sent him the address of the pub.

“Jo, you said you live close, right?” Tom asked, just as their food arrived and they were ready to dig in.

She raised an eyebrow as she chewed slowly and then swallowed. “Yes, I do. I’ve walked for maybe three minutes.”

“So, how come I had to ride almost 40 minutes on the Tube, then?” That wasn’t the question he really meant to ask, though. “Or better, yet: what the hell were you doing in a café, at not yet 9 o’clock on a work day and 40 minutes away from your home?” That was pretty unusual, was it not?

Jo swallowed again, despite not taking another bite while he was asking his question. “Well, you see, my co-worker and friend, Mary, she lives in Belsize Park. She got into a row with her husband and he said he was going to stay at a friend’s for the night. So, the very good friend I am, I went over there the night before and comforted her and stayed the night. The next morning, he came home, and I didn’t feel like intruding, and left. So, I ended up at the café. Thank god, I didn’t have to be at work until lunch. The only day of my week, that wasn’t coated in stress, really,” she explained. Well, that sounded better than Tom’s idea of her stalking him.

“That actually explains a lot. I hope they’re fine now?”

“Oh, don’t worry. They’ve known each other for twenty years. A little dispute over something minor won’t end their marriage.”

“My parents didn’t even make it to the twenty year mark.” Tom had no idea, why he shared this with Jo. Maybe, because he already learned that her parents were divorced as well, and he didn’t have to play the ‘I had the perfect childhood’-game with her.

She let out a short snort before she said, “Well, my parents made it past the thirty year mark, and still got a divorce. Time isn’t really a factor here. If you’ve known someone for forty years or one month, it really is the feeling that counts. It can be as real after a few weeks as it is after a few years.”

“Yeah, my last relationship –,” he stopped himself there. That really wasn’t something to talk about on the first date. Even, if it wasn’t a date at all.

But that topic seemed to arouse Jo’s curiosity. “What about your last relationship? Well, to be fair, it’s not like I haven’t read about it, but as someone who’s a journalist, I can admit, that you don’t always get the whole truth unless it fits the picture.”

“Wow, do I sense some self-criticism there?” It was meant to be a joke, but Jo’s serious expression told him that it was indeed that.

“Well, you know the saying that you shouldn’t believe in statistics that you didn’t doctor yourself? In some ways, that counts for journalists, too. They’re pretty aware of what they leave out of a story and what they put in there. You already learn that in your studies. Good journalists just tend to try and gather all the information, and actually use it, too.”

“That sounds like a pretty reasonable approach to me.”

“It really is,” Jo answered with a smile, and Tom almost dropped his fork, so beautiful she looked in that moment. Her green eyes sparkled, her lips parted a little and he could have counted her freckles right then and there.

Instead, he cleared his throat. “Yes, well. There still isn’t really much to tell. It was real, it was fast, and it ended quickly.” That really was all there was.

“Okay, so let me tell you about my last relationship, and maybe it makes you open up,” she winked then. “I was with Markus for almost a year, and we didn’t meet each other’s parents really, basically because we met in Hamburg and that was not where our families lived. It still didn’t last. So, I really don’t think, that anyone should compare their relationship to anyone else’s.”

“Why didn’t it last, then?”

“Hm. That’s a pretty good question.” Jo looked around the room as if she was searching for an answer there, before looking back into Tom’s eyes. “The lack of romance, maybe? I know, you’ve got some criticism, because the last relationship went pretty fast, but when you take too much time, and you’re too careful – well, that wasn’t right for me. I guess, it just wasn’t that exciting. Not that we could have jetted off to Italy and Australia in the first month,” she then winked and grinned at Tom.

He let out a small laugh. She did have a point there. They did go all in pretty much overnight. “It was real, though,” he answered her unasked question. “Just because some pictures weren’t that sudden and unforeseen doesn’t mean everything was fake. We just thought that not hiding wouldn’t give them that many reasons to stalk.”

Jo actually snorted at that. It was a cute sound, Tom just didn’t know if he was supposed to be amused by it or offended by the meaning behind it. “That didn’t really work out, did it?” she then mumbled, more to herself than actually asking him.

Tom answered anyway. “It did in some aspects. We weren’t photographed all the time.”

“Oh, come on, Tom. It was like, they knew every single one of your locations. I’m pretty sure you and her respectively could go out before, without every step of you being recorded. But fame doesn’t work that way, huh?”

He knew, she didn’t want to sound mean, he really did. But somehow, Tom still had the strange urge to defend himself. “I never was one for hiding. I always went out and did my thing, and if there were fans or paps, I still had fun. And I just continued like that. It was just, that she –“.

“She had kind of an image to keep? Or lived her life differently?” Jo interrupted him.

“The second option.” It was the first time he talked this freely about his summer with someone apart from his younger sister, Emma, Chris, and Luke. He didn’t really care.

Jo nodded. “I understand that. It’s basically the same in every other relationship. You have to figure out how to compromise, if you’re not already frighteningly alike. You just seemed to be figuring each other out quite publicly and famously. But yes, that’s the same for every couple, I guess. So, how did it end? If you don’t mind me asking?”

Strangely, he didn’t. “Well, we figured each other out. And after the honeymoon phase, we realised that she wasn’t over her ex, and I wasn’t ready to either hide or act differently in public. And then it ended after the summer.”

“So, it was real?”

“Yes, it was. As real as a rebound can be.”

“And meeting the parents after a month of dating.”

Tom felt himself blush at the mention of his mother – his entire family, actually – being involved in his summer activities, without really getting the change to decline being out in the open. “Yeah, that went pretty fast as well. But, the visit was planned for me anyway. Maybe not with that much attention.”

Jo smiled a little, and gave him an encouraging look. “As long as anyone involved was okay with it, you’re on the safe side I guess.”

“I am. I really am,” he smiled back, eating the last of his meal and feeling a little lighter after talking about his summer so someone else.

***

“You really didn’t have to walk me to the door, Tom,” Jo said, as they stood in front of the building she lived in, after having spent the evening dining, laughing, and talking.

“It really is the right thing to do, Josefine. Couldn’t let you walk alone in the dark.” She resisted the urge to close her eyes and let his smooth voice invade her senses. Yes, he had a great voice, and god yes, he did look so good in his black trousers, white shirt, and grey coat. Fucking beautiful, but maybe that was the wine talking.

The fact was, she did have a lovely evening. If it was a date, she would certainly expect a kiss. But it wasn’t a date, and unfortunately all she gathered from the evening wasn’t really newsworthy as well. His relationship wasn’t fake, yay. Not really something, she could write in an article. ‘The scoop on Tom Hiddleston: He didn’t lie about his summer’ wasn’t really the headline she was going for. To make matters worse, he was even nicer than she expected, and more beautiful and charming as well, and she now had to tell Mary that she obviously had marital problems with her husband of twenty odd years.

“We’ve literally just walked for three minutes, and you have to go all the way back to get the Tube, Tom,” she tried to argue. But, she got to know him a lot better that evening, and knew that this really wasn’t a moot point to him.

“A lot can happen in three minutes,” Tom answered and then actually blushed. “Well, you know, you getting robbed for example. Wasn’t meant to be cheeky here.”

Jo chuckled and was just about to answer, when she saw a couple behind Tom’s back, approaching fast. “Oh, shit,” she mumbled and saw Tom’s confused look.

“What is it? Is it something I’ve –“.

But he didn’t get to finish. Instead, Jo could already feel herself blush and saw Nick’s attempts to hush his boyfriend, but behind Tom, Sam already exclaimed loudly, “Oh, what a surprise, darling Josefine. Had fun?” Tom turned; seemingly surprised at hearing Jo’s name, and Sam and Nick came to a halt in front of them. “Hi, I’m Sam, and this is my boyfriend Nick,” he started to introduce them, “You must be Tom -,” he stopped then, “- fucking Hiddleston?!”

Jo would have laughed, if she wasn’t so mortified. Tom on the other hand just chuckled. He clearly was used to the reaction. “Hi,” he said, offering his hand, “I’m Tom. And you’re the roommates, I assume?”

While Sam could only nod, Nick shook Tom’s hand, and at the same time gave Sam a little shove. “We are. And we must get upstairs now. It was nice to meet you. Come on, Sam. Jo, see you soon.” And off he went, a stunned Sam trailing behind him, holding onto his hand and giving Jo a look that promised a detailed discussion later on.

Jo blushed and hid her face as soon as the two of them were alone again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, “That was beyond embarrassing.”

“It really wasn’t,” Tom laughed, “I’ve dealt with much worse encounters. But I guess, you really didn’t tell them, who you’ve met?” He actually seemed to be impressed.

She just shrugged in response. “It really didn’t matter to me. I’ve said I’d meet Tom and I did.”

“You really did,” he smiled. “So –“. Well, that was a little awkward now. “I’ll see you?”

“Yes,” Jo breathed, “you will.”

Tom opened his arms a little and Jo went for the hug. It wasn’t a kiss, but it was more than just friendly. It was nice. “Get home safe, please,” Jo mumbled into his coat and smelled his aftershave.

“I will,” Tom whispered back, and all too soon the hug was over. Instead he beamed at her. “I’ll text you? Or call you?”

“That’d be great.”

“Great.” With that, Tom slowly stepped backwards, not without waving one last time, before he turned and walked back the way they’ve come just five minutes ago.

He smelled so good, Jo thought, and she was so screwed.