Andrew Garfield at the Ischia Global Fest "I think it’s so hard for young people right now to focus on what’s real and what’s meaningful. I think we get given lots of opportunities to follow what’s not meaningful. And for me, where I find meaning is beyond - beyond myself. Beyond Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and all those things, that’s not where real life lives. Cinema is where real life lives, theatre is where real life lives; art, music, creativity, community, love, nature." "This is why this has been one of the most remarkable weeks that I’ve had in recent memory, because this island and this festival - combined with these men here who organized it - bring together maybe all the most meaningful aspects of life, for me. Which is art, cinema, theatre, music, friendship, community, food, culture, history."

The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.

When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)

That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.

To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.

I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?

So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.

Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.

What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.

Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.

I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.

I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.

Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)

But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.

Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)

Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.

Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.

Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.

I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.

It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .

And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.

It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.

Alright, we're still talking about DYWTYLM, right? 'Cause I'm gonna talk about it a bit too

Much like how Gods and Vore are intrinsically connected, DYWTYLM and Fall For Me have a similar type of relationship, but there are actually so, so many more ways that this song ties into the rest of the discography than just the one, and I think this song should be given more of a spotlight in general.

Still looking first at the most obvious connecting thread, DYWTYLM shares several lyrical and compositional elements with Fall For Me. Looking purely at lyrics here, to put it simply, both songs are about unrequited love. Past that level, however, these songs are completely different. Fall For Me has this painful desperation to it, like there's an open wound in our heart in the shape of this person and it will just continue to bleed and fester until we can even just see the person again, "oh god I wish you were here," because we're falling apart and losing ourselves without them and "I am yours in the end" so wouldn't it just be so perfect, so easy, to fix our fractured existence if you would only just fall from reality and join me here, to protect me from my insecurities and my past? It's about wanting to be loved but also wanting someone to meet you where you're at even as it means falling deeper themselves to do so.

DYWTYLM, though, takes a very different tone. This is despondent, almost defeated in tone. I know you don't love me, but do you wish that you did? I'm still losing myself, "it's getting harder to be myself," and "my reflection just won't smile back at me like I know it should." There's a great deal of self-reflection on the loss of identity and general unmooring that's been caused by this person you've tied so much of yourself to drifting away. It's unclear whether or not this small, repeated "please smile back at me" is at them or at yourself. Back in Fall For Me we heard about how "I'm losing touch with what I am again," and this seems to have only grown stronger. This is despite what we see in High Water, where "I will accept that I can't pretend we will ever be together." Acceptance, clearly, does not mean that the pain disappears, or that you feel any less awful about it, or that you don't continue to question the circumstances.

It sounds something like this: I don't know why you don't love me, and I still wish you did, even though I know you don't. Could you at least tell me if it's personal, or "is it always the same" with you? The idea that's "eating me alive" is the idea that you feel no guilt for stringing me along like this, that "you don't conceal your feelings, they just don't exist." Can you at least tell me if you understand what I'm going through, if "there's something you give that you will never receive in return" like the way I will never receive your love?

That's a lot to unpack, but let's give it a go.

The opening lines to DYWTYLM, asking if you ever "roll with the waves" or if you always "duck into deep blue safety," are an evocative image representing a retreat into the safety of isolation and repression when offered someone's love. They are also a continuation of some of the ideas presented in The Love You Want from back in TPWBYT. Back then, just before Fall For Me, we have this metaphor of keys, noting that "it seems your heart is locked up and I still get the combination wrong," and wondering if "you're simply waiting to save your love for someone I am not." It's this question, again, of whether or not there's something about you that just isn't right for them, or if there's a blanket refusal, swallowing each presented key despite the possible ramifications down the line of always pushing others away and refusing that kind of connection.

There's one other piece in this verse, that "maybe you believe that in the end you will be better off that way," tying us back into DYWTYLM and the question of not just if that person always like this but if there's any kind of drive behind this avoidance - fear, anger, disgust, anything emotional at all - or if there's nothing there, which then ties us into the question of "can you ever forgive yourself," because of this underlying dread of the possibility that "you don't conceal your feelings, they just don't exist." What if you're not "[pulling] at the chains" of my love but instead "[pushing] into constant aching," the ache here being the absolute agony of unrequited love that we described in Fall For Me?

This is where the instability and sense of completely falling apart come into play. Picking the key metaphor back up, note how many different times we seem to have tried to unlock this person's heart. What does that really mean? Are we approaching with different types of love, or are we trying to change ourselves to suit what we think their taste might be, even though it never works? There's this deep-rooted insecurity, this question of if there's a chance we could possibly get this right if we were someone else. Certainly, constantly changing how you're acting around or approaching someone over and over again has to be not just exhausting but a major hit to your sense of self.

Over and over and over again we've given away and taken pieces from our self, adding in pieces of them that may look better or trying on different attitudes like they're outfits, so of course you're falling apart. You're a Frankenstein's monster of cobbled together pieces of yourself and someone else and something you can't even recall, you've made this one person the thread holding it together and now you're not just falling apart but losing all sense and recognition of who you even are, because you stopped living for yourself a long time ago.

In any normal relationship, this continued rejection wouldn't seem that big of a deal, the kind of thing where you really should just take the hint and move on, but we know this isn't the case. As such, let's go back to Give for a moment. Frankly, it's obsessive. I'm here, I'm not just interested but I want to "give you all that I can give," and in a bit that's echoed later on in Fall For Me, "if you wanna give me anything then give, give in again." We're constantly rejected yet fed enough breadcrumbs to still stay, given a hollow shell of love with no real substance to it. Aqua Regia describes it well when calling it "cold love, hot blood," and that's a huge part of why it hurts so much, especially considering the times when it really did feel like this might be an equal and loving relationship instead of this constant erratic and destructive attachment pattern.

That's why this is a constant aching that we think may be being pushed into deliberately instead of us just being a weight dragging them down that they're trying to pull away from in the way we feared in High Water, and that's why it's so painful to even imagine that this attempt to actually undo the locks and be shown that open and vulnerable heart was futile from the beginning, because there was nothing there that they could give, nothing real that you could ever receive in return. We felt so deeply jealous that they could "sever [their] connection with everything" in Missing Limbs, and in DYWTYLM despite the established horror at the concept of that indifference we also wonder if it's "better to just not feel? Could we hit delete?"

So, no, at this point we are asking for an acknowledgement at best, not to be loved, and these questions we're asking are more rhetorical than anything. Perhaps we've given up on even hearing an answer, at this point, but we have to ask anyways. They won't smile at me but I can't smile at myself either. I don't know who I am, but I hate whoever that is, and I want to be someone else, even though I don't know if that's possible. Anything, anything but this. I don't feel like a person, I don't sound like a person. Am I not fit for anybody, like this? Could I turn into a different person, start over as someone new? Could I hit delete on my emotions? Could I hit delete on myself? Would I be better off that way?

I just... LOVE Sunshrine as a ship and have my delusions and HC's about it and I needed to put these thoughts out on WHY I like them so much somewhere other than in my fics or else I'm literally going to explode, so—

Annoyed x Annoyance. Need I say more?

I will.

If we're talking purely potential ship dynamics, we have:

Flirty x oblivious, Denial/Dense, Sunshine x Sunshine protector, stoic vs pain in the ass, optimist vs pessimist, "why me?" "why not you?", Insecure vs showers them in love.

Sun and Moon/Day and Night yadda yadda y'know the drill

Complementary colors (orange/blue) that you can correlate with their difference in personality.

But I hate reducing them to basic opposites attract and other dynamics bec they're NOT completely opposite - they actually have a lot in common!

"Two sides of the same coin" is how I'd actually describe them.

They're both trying to find their own way in life, and the paths they're taking are so fundamentally different than what has come before them.

Their voice-lines about it. Love to read into those

("I'll walk a different path this time." "I'll find my own path." "The path shapes you." "That's the path you've found?")

Potential for shared isolation issues and fear of abandonment!!!!

I feel like Kiriko's life suddenly shifting one day when Sojiro was killed and her proceeding to lose a bunch of people she held near and dear (not even counting Kanezaka itself facing major power and societal shifts) is not talked about enough. The only real personal connections she knows she has left are:

Her mom, who is forced into inaction and can't move to help liberate Kanezaka or save-

Her dad, who is currently Hashimoto's leverage/hostage and she doesn't even know for sure is still alive rn bc she hasn't seen him.

and Hanzo, which, there's a load of angst there HC and actually in-game wise for her connection with both him and Genji that would be a while 'nother conversation. I don't know if Kiriko even knows Genji's still alive, actually? More issues!

Illari's pretty self explanatory with that isolation/abandonment point. That girl's riding the, "I don't need anyone else (because I'll only end up hurting them)" train so hard. So much so that she doesn't even really feel comfortable showing any positive emotions to people around her (cheer/hello/chuckle animations anyone?).

Kiriko/Illari are both "chosen".

That one's kinda out there tbh, but my logic behind it is that Illari is already notably special. She's prodigy that was quickly predicted to be the GREATEST fucking Inti warrior of her time, whose power was so great that she turned every single other Inti warrior to ashes unintentionally.

(which, by the way, is insane if we assume the augmentations have to give you some sort of resistance to solar power to be able to wield it in the first place?)

Kiriko is where I start playing fast and loose. I'd argue her having the power of the Kitsune (which is not fucking science idc what lore comes in the future, magic exists in this fucking universe!) to such an extent makes her chosen in her own way. Like I'm assuming the teleporting around, the self healing like, and everything else is not a standard affair but no-one talks about the Shimada FAMILY being able to summon dragons so. Maybe that's just the standard in Japan.

On that note — they also both have a responsibility to their people which sort of parallel each other.

Kiriko has happily taken up the mantle of a vigilante to protect the people of Kanezaka, and, as far as we know, she has no qualms about doing it. Her way of doing things is different to how her family served/protected for generations in the past, but she still upholds the duty like it's second nature.

Pure conjecture, but I don't think Kiriko's ever felt forced to do it either. There was never a, "you must protect the town!" talk or anything like that from her grandmother/mom, she's doing it because it feels right to do.

Illari, conversely was always told she had a responsibility to her people. If you read between the lines of her lore blurb on her OW2 page and listen to what she says in her origin video, you get the sense that it was a sort of... burden? Heavy is the head that wears the crown and all that.

I compare it to the "gifted-kid burnout" precisely because of this. Illari has always been molded to follow one path, a rigorous one she didn't really have a choice BUT to follow. You're told at a young age that you are special, that there's no-one else like you, that you will grow to become a legend. How could you even begin to refuse that?

You don't. And when it all starts to fall apart, you start to wonder what's wrong with yourself. Illari has lived a life dedicated to serving, and now there's no-one left but her.

She def has some self worth/esteem issues stemming from having to be this prodigal kid essentially groomed (not that way) her whole childhood to be strong and nothing else. Couple that with an overwhelming feeling of regret for failing to uphold her duty as a protector and you have someone who is just completely lost - direction AND sense of self wise.

And I think Kiriko could help with that. Say what you want about her, but you can't deny that Kiri is strong. Imagine Illari meeting her and realizing that for herself. That despite how careless and foolish Illari thinks Kiriko is, she somehow still manages to protect her people as her duty.

Imagine her realizing that she's been taught a lie her whole life, that she doesn't have to just be Illari, the strongest Inti warrior, she can also just be Illari - the scared 18yr old trying to find a new purpose in life after that choice was stolen from her.

Like Zen says to her, "true strength comes to those who accept their weaknesses". Illari's gotta learn that she can't just be strong, she has to learn to balance these aspects of herself.

and who has played a balancing act between conflicting ideals before? Who has carved her own path out of what she's known? Kiriko.

Ahem, back to a few more hehe haha shipping things

They're both pretty capable as fighters, and both trained since they were kids. They're both probably very disciplined because of it.

(I was going to say "though Kiriko is reckless despite that" but I refuse to believe Illari isn't equally as reckless.)

They're both very petty, check out those revenge voice lines—

("Forgive and forget? Nah..." and, "Forgiveness? Never heard of it." Are two examples LOL)

They're both smart assess. Kiriko is Kiriko so that one's obvious, and I'm looking at your Hanzo/Soldier/Sombra/Ana start up interactions, AND your sassy ass "I didn't do it for you," ally save voice line, Illari.

THEY'RE LITERALLY SPRING - SUN ILLARI, BREEZE/WHATEVER TF ELSE KIRIKO

And the two most important things....

They're just cute. Like seriously look at these little idiots, I love them both dearly.

And it's kind of a funny ship. I'm a firm believer that you don't need a reason to ship two characters, and Kiriko and Illari liking each other can lead into some hilarious ass dynamics, so why not?

Anyways, finished with my brainrot spew. If you've made it this far, check out my AO3 where I will be brainrotting even further in the future. Might post some dumb shitposts here about these two from time to time.

Illari and Kiriko's voice line pages for the things I quote.

(some of this, particularly parts regarding Kiriko, might be incorrect bec I haven't read a single lore comic and am going of things I can vaguely remember hearing about.)

hm i know this is a simplification but i have less letters so. i feel like the transandro discussion is a little too eager to gloss over truscum? like if fem/nonpassing transmascs talk abt the hurt they've experienced from the rest of the transmasc community we're "dividing the community" or "generalizing masc transmascs as truscum" & i don't know. it feels rough to hear constant calls for solidarity when we haven't received solidarity for decades

I have... a few thoughts here. and my brain is pudding because I've been doing grad school and teaching 8 hours a day for the last two weeks, so I apologize for any tonal issues, but please know I am trying to convey compassion and a desire for connection above all else.

okay.

First: "masc transmascs" are also targets of transmedicalism if and when we do not experience the Right Amount Of Dysphoria, the right "symptoms", etc. It's a complex issue, and I do think truscum often assume I'm likely to be On Their Side based exclusively on the fact that I sometimes say, on the internet, on a fully anonymous platform and blog, that I am generally masc.

I also could not identify dysphoria in myself at all for years, and I don't really try or care to pass now. I make my decisions based on how I want to look. That happens to align with things that make me pass a lot of the time, but it's certainly not always- particularly among people who know what trans men are.

Point being that I was a direct target of truscum ideology for a long time, and I still am any time I openly talk about my feelings around dysphoria, passing, and what gender actually is.

Second: Truscum are not even entirely masc transmascs; there are transfem folks in that group (Blaire White??), and there are far more cis people feeding into that ideology than there are trans people. Ultimately, truscum ideology is not for masc transmascs; it's not even for dysphoric trans people. It doesn't benefit any of us. It only serves systemic transphobia and cissexism.

Not to mention- "masc transmasc" does not necessarily mean "dysphoric". Gender euphoria is an extremely important part of the conversation, and it's something all kinds of trans people experience!

Third: calling for solidarity is not the same as calling for universal forgiveness and acceptance of every single person within a demographic. Solidarity means recognizing that you are, at the end of the day, on the same team.

Masc transmascs are not your enemy. Masc transmascs, as a group, are not at fault for what has been done to you. Truscum are; and many of the victims suffering alongside you are masc transmascs.

When you tell those people that they are part of the problem too, that they are at fault too, and that they must repent for the crimes of the people who victimized them like they victimized you, you aren't doing anything but hurting and isolating more victims.

Fourth: "Transandrophobia" is for you, too. The word is yours. The oppression you face for being a fem and/or non-passing transmascs is a form of transandrophobia; as is the oppression masc transmascs face for being masc transmascs. It's the same system. It's a word for all of us.

Here's what it comes down to:

Masc transmascs are not victimizing you- truscum are.

Truscum are not oppressed for being truscum- but transmascs are oppressed for being transmasc.

You are oppressed for being transmasc.

The word is for you.

We can deal with the issue of truscum, recognize the harm that has been done by them, and work to repair our community- and all of that is solidarity. None of it stands in the way of recognizing the oppression all of us face, or the experiences all of us share.

But if you want to dig your heels in and wait for truscum to stop existing and for every single masc transmasc- regardless of their participation in or victimization by that group- to repent for the existence of truscum (a group who is also not entirely transmasc to begin with), before you ever recognize the oppression we all suffer, that's your prerogative.

But it's not the way forward.

like sasuke is clearly deeply unhappy in boruto which is fine, i honestly think its GOOD that he's not just like suddenly content with his life and himself after the finale of shippuden, its just also sort of insane that the post canon where he is no longer the focus is one where he's so potently miserable. he's clearly still reluctant to really face konoha. he still feels like an outcast or a bad apple, he still thinks he needs to atone for what he did as a teenager, despite the fact that he's been actively atoning for like a decade. but it'll never be enough. the only person he is not afraid to face and does not think he has failed is naruto, but even then he is still eager to isolate himself again, and i KNOW that its isolating and not just "being by himself" (sasuke has never been an outwardly emotional person (except under major duress), and while i believe a lot of this is repression its also just how he is, so no amount of healing would make him as open as, say, naruto, but i digress) because these are not the words of a happy man. "if she hates me its fine, because at least the future will be bright". "this is also a journey of atonement." naruto WANTS him to stay, believes its been long enough, the people of konoha don't hate him anymore (not sure how true this is but it's what naruto believes/wants to be true), but sasuke says they should stick to what they're meant to do, which means naruto as the hokage, because he is well loved and good with people, and sasuke in the shadows, because he is meant to be alone and unrecognized.

tbc i don't think that sasuke could be happy "settling down," i don't think he DOESNT like being on the move all the time, but the scene with naruto where he leaves konoha without saying goodbye to anybody is clearly not a scene where sasuke is content with his life in the way naruto is. he isn't doing this because he wants to, its because he thinks that he has to suffer in order to be good, and that the people of konoha wouldn't accept him any other way. it IS TRUE that sasuke has always been a big believer in sacrifice for the greater good and wouldn't consider his own happiness to be important compared to the missions he needed to go on, regardless of how deserving of happiness he considered himself to be, but i absolutely refuse to believe that, if he DID believe he deserved it, there has been NO TIME EVER that he could come home and just be regular. just for a little. there is absolutely something that is pushing him out of konoha, unrelated to "i have a mission to go on." there's still a disconnect.

WHICH. unfortunately. brings me to. end of shippuden. he receives a letter from naruto praising him for protecting the village even without being there, he thinks, "maybe it's time to come home." sometime before he comes home, he catches wind that naruto is getting married. he sends a letter with nothing on it other than "congratulations," and he does not come home. for like 4 more years. next time he's home for an extended period of time it's when sakura has already giving birth to sarada and he's helping raise her until she's juuuust old enough to start retaining memories before he fucks off again.

he doesn't want to be around sarada and sakura. he doesn't want them to worry about him or concern themselves with him. he doesn't want to be affectionate with sakura, who clearly DOES want to be affectionate with him. he considers the fact that he and sakura had a kid together to be the thing that most connects them, which is only significant in this case because anyone with eyes can tell that they are not really connected in basically any other way. it's like the ring he gives her in that dino arc. clearly since you wear a ring now to show we're married it means that we're married even though i'm not doing any of the other things a husband should do, but this ring makes up for that. clearly since we have a kid our hearts are connected and we really do love each other, even though i'm not doing any of the other things someone who really loves you would do. you could argue that his refusal to make any contact with sarada and sakura IS out of love, that he's afraid of hurting them and thinks he's protecting them by staying out of their lives (this is most likely what kishimoto intends), but this claim doesn't have any actual PRECEDENT outside of the fact that i'm being told that sasuke apparently loves her, the evidence for that being well they got married and had a kid. off screen.

i think he feels guilty that sarada even exists, because it's his fault she has no dad and it's his fault she inherited the uchiha's massive capacity for grief and love, it's his fault that sakura is raising her alone, and he's running from this because hopefully he can make up for it by doing good for the whole world since he cannot bring himself to make up for it by being there for his wife and daughter. "she has sakura, she'll be fine" because sakura is more her parent than he will ever/could ever be. he doesnt HATE sakura or sarada, to be very clear. he cares about them both as people, he fully respects sakura's strength, is proud when he sees sarada fighting well, he wants her to be happy and wants her to like him, he wishes he could be a better father and husband to her and sakura. just without having to be their father and husband.

boruto is not good unfortunately but due to the fact that naruto IS good and sasuke's characterization is very lovingly done in the original series it's critical to me (because i am not normal) that i figure out how to connect pieces that kishimoto could not be assed to properly connect. he seems to RECOGNIZE that he's betraying sasuke's characterization by making him have a kid w sakura due to the fact that everything sasuke does after that is p much exactly what i would expect him to do if, through some freak incident, he ended up having a kid with sakura. Anywho

Things I'd want for a "Fire Emblem: Fates" remake

I haven't played a ton of FE games, but I really loved Fates for it's characters and branching storyline. The community gives it WAAAY too much hate. One person told me that it's a minority of people who don't like it, but it's a LOUD minority, making it seem like a majority of people hate it. That said, the discussions I've had (and gatekeeping I've experienced) have inspired me to make some of my own changes to Fates if it ever got remade. I wonder if you'll agree with any. I know some of these are MAJOR changes that results in this feeling more like it's own game, but I hope you still take them into consideration, anyway.

1. Nix the amnesia story--It only existed for gameplay purposes to teach the player how to fight. Story-wise it's not important for Corrin, since they don't remember Nohr and thus it feels as new as Hoshido, so it completely defeats the born with/raised by concept. Just allow us more time to enjoy/interact with Nohrians and Hoshidans each in order to make it a more convincing story with a conflicted protagonist, plus it helps to flesh out the characters. Considering 3H and "Engage" allow you to explore environments a bit more, that should be a given. I feel like the amnesia plot only works in the "Birthright" route since Corrin would be kidnapped more recently and it'd make the royal family the main villains, and less sympathetic.

2. Have more support-contingent branching storylines--In "Fates: Birthright," Kaze dies at some point if you don't have his A-support conversation with Corrin. If you do, he becomes Corrin's retainer. It'd be fun if socializing with the characters (ie Azura, Silas, the royal family) had more weight to it, story-wise. It'd also be cool if you could carry over your save data from the opposite game and if you have A-supports with Ryoma, Elise, Takumi, and/or Xander, you can potentially save them. But that may be pushing it…

3. More same-sex supports (with kids)--Allow for Corrin to reach same-sex S-supports with Silas, Azura, Jakob, Felicia, and Kaze, given that they all join you in every route. Plus and the royals and Flora should also be allowed to be romanced in their respective routes and "Revelations." I feel like that should be a given. And allow us to keep our kids rather than off-screen offspring as mentioned in the epilogue. It feels unfair to remove their kids from the main story.

4. (Possibly Defeats the Purpose) Make it clear that Corrin isn't related the the royals--This is mainly for romantic reasons, but maybe have Mikoto as a woman who became a noble in Hoshido, with Sumeragi treating you like one of his children. It's also revealed that when Corrin was kidnapped, the Nohrian siblings were too young to know they weren't their sibling. Plus the Nohrian siblings being half-siblings does nothing for the plot, especially since they look alike (Leo and Xander have blonde hair, Camilla has purple, and Elise has blonde and purple hair).

5. LET THE PARENTS SURVIVE! Maybe it's because of parent death fatigue in "Engage," but I'd like for Sumeragi and Mikoto to survive, and let us see Ganon as a good king before he is curropted and dies. Plus giving Corrin dreams of Anankos would be awesome.

6. Remove the Awakening connection--It's only mentioned in some support conversations and doesn't fully impact the story. I see why it's a nice nod to the game that brought the franchise back to light, but still. Asugi looks like Gaius and Rhajat looks like Tharja, but apparently they're not the same person, so it can be the same with Laszlo/Inigo, Odin/Owain, and Severa/Selena. Maybe if we had a couple more characters from "Awakening" and it coming into play for the main storyline, it'd be a different story.

7. Give more life/information on Valla--If we're going for this "secret, Atlantis-like Kingdom," make it a trapped, isolated paradise that Anankos governs, giving this Fire Nation-type of nationalism so the inhabitants want to reclaim Nohr and Hoshido for themselves. They've already conquered Nohr, explaining the aggression towards Hoshido following Ganon's corruption. It'd be fun if you could recruit/interact with characters from Valla in "Revelations."

8. Fix up the Deeprealms and it's drama--In the game, they're convenient alternate dimensions/worlds that age the kids up quick at different rates, and most of them are ignorant of their heritage and birthright (no pun intended). In my rewrite, this is simply ONE alternate world that the children are sent to, and they age proportionately; the younger ones were just taken from the Deeprealms earlier. Plus it's something that's seen as "off the radar" and a world Anankos hopes to conquer after the main setting in the game. Along with this, all of the parents visit and involve themselves with their kids, rather than the children feeling like their parents ignored them or kept them in the dark.

9. Open World like in "Engage" and "3 Houses"--It'd really help to explore the culture more and expand the world so that the consequences feel even more severe.

Its hard bc I think I've become emotionally invested and attached to this person and I regret letting that happen before I clarified his intentions :/ it was stupid of me to assume and draw meaning and interpretations from his actions without asking and without clarifying my own intentions as well but I guess I thought waiting for the 3 month mark wasn't such a bad idea or like a reasonable time to talk about it. But I guess it's not that crazy I made these assumptions based off his behavior bc he did act really couple-y with me but I guess I just wish I could have seen this coming before I got so attached. I was so scared of getting hurt too. I guess I'm less scared bc I had my day to process it and cry and now I don't feel much abt it. I still feel but I don't feel at the same time it's hard to explain. I have opinions and stuff abt it and confused feelings but I guess im detaching a little and guarding myself but also still confused. It's hard to just drop him I wish I was stronger or didn't give as much of a fuck abt someone who probably doesn't give much of a fuck about me idk. I think I have a hard time letting go of ppl who I've become attached to and grown to like and think fondly of its hard I guess bc I don't make connections like this a lot like really ever. super rare. and maybe it's just bc I spent an extended amt of time w him the past months and the longest I've gone out w anyone since my breakup so ofc ur gonna grow fond of that person and become more comfortable. but I guess as someone who doesn't feel comfortable around people easily it just felt more significant than it probably feels to him bc he doesn't feel the same as me. which is why I think my loneliness has become a problem in my life even tho I feel like ive been lonely for most of my life it's never gotten easier. really it just causes me to hold onto people I have grown close (ish) to bc its so rare for me to feel that or click with someone or get along with someone and feel a moderate closeness to so I feel reluctant and maybe scared to let that go bc it feels significant and special. and it's not like I think we have this crazy special bond either or that we're super super close it's not even thst crazy which is why I think my loneliness and general isolation and inability to make friends or be close to ppl is causing me issues with my attachment to ppl I do connect with even when they aren't treating me the best. I wish I could just let it go. I want to assume he wants the best for both of us I think we both kind of talked abt that when we had the conversation and that he won't take advantage or string me along and I tell myself I won't let it get to that point. I care too much fr...wish I could be totally unfeeling and robotic and be ok with not having any close friendships or relationships then I wouldn't feel a need for them lol. And I also wish I could fuckng move!!@

HM. YKNOW, with as many times as I've personally romanticized the story of Eden (in an ex-christian, probably heretical/blasphemous way) myself, you'd think I'd've realized sooner.

Her name is EDEN.

His is LUCIEN.

I'VE DEDICATED SO MUCH OF MY BRAIN SPACE TO THINKING, LIKE, "wow it was honestly based af for Lucifer to go and bring knowledge to the humans stuck in Eden, I'd smooch the fallen angel fr fr" AND YET. IT TOOK ME UNTIL THE LATEST CHAPTER TO REALIZE THE NARRATIVE PARALLELS FJJFJFND

god I do love the story so far tho 🥺 gnaws on my phone... we love the allegory. We love the themes (even if we're a little slow on the uptake lmao).

No one ever believes me when I say this but this was not 100% intentional lmao. 

Eden is an old oc, she's incredibly flawed and frequently has ill intent. She is selfish and values her own goals more than most other people’s well-being. I called her Eden not only to call to the faux sense of safety she inspires, but also bc more than anything it was important to me that she felt human. Not redeemable or misunderstood, mind you, but fundamentally human and flawed in ways that show aspects of her that are worthy of being understood (something that flawed female characters often do not get as much as male ones do)

For a long time her name was Eve actually, before her apprentice and Lucien were ever created, but it never felt quite right. I really like Eden bc it does give you that sort of sickly sweet sense while I think, also really rooting her in that story of base, fundamental humanity.

She is so incredibly flawed in the way that humans are wont to be. She thinks of herself first, she seeks power and control, and she does it in the name of her own base humanity. (just in the way that readers overwhelming sense of trust and empathy is in the name of hers)

All of that and the whole isolation thing and some other things that I can't mention bc they're spoilers are intentional. 

The Lucien thing fully wasn’t. When creating Lucien I had the reader character (she was not a reader character at the time lol, rip Valentine, ur still the same character but ur name was so cute) in mind and I wasn’t rlly thinking about the whole Eden situation lol, the fact that it lined up so well is either a happy accident or (more likely) my catholic upbringing doing a number on my subconscious lol. 

His name is so close to Lucifers bc I wanted it to feel like he was an archetypal demon, not some exception to the rule. I didn’t want readers to be able to dismiss that fact or distance him from it, it's my way of keeping that front and center.  

The connection between those two names is so serendipitous I frankly cannot believe it lol. Stories have a way of doing that, I’ve found. You form all the themes you can but try as you might, a story will form its own. You just have to adapt to it and make those themes the best they can be. 

So just know ur not alone in missing it for a little longer than you should lol, happens to the best of us my dear

the thing about having DID is that it is, at least for us, a very lonely disorder. we have better communication than we've ever had and we're struggling less and less with self doubt and denial thanks to the support and validation of both the mental health professionals and loved ones around us, and that's really helped us feel more connected to and accepting of each other... but... we are also finding ourselves feeling isolated in some ways where we didn't before.

the main example at the moment is with our in-system relationship dynamics. a new one has formed that we're excited about, as a collective; it has the potential to be intimate and loving and everyone so far (even me) is pleased with the alters involved, pleased with the new addition to our system, pleased for the sense of companionship. but... that is a difficult thing to talk about to other people. even to other systems. it feels like we are talking about something that only exists within our head (which it does, but i more mean in the abstract 'it isn't meaningful' sense here) and that if we ramble about it to other people, we are going to sound stupid.

or insane.

or like we're just playing pretend.

it feels like arrogance to love one another. we have spent many years not loving each other very much at all. it feels like self indulgence; like a fanfiction; like we're just entertaining ourselves the way you would with a happy fantasy in your head. that isn't, of course, what's happening. but the sense of anxiety and self consciousness around it is very real. it is hard for our host to say that orpheus makes them feel loved; it is hard for max to say that our host makes him want to be vulnerable. it is hard for me to say that i am not involved with any of them but that i want them to be happy.

in general i think we need to try and become more okay with talking to each other, even publicly. even if other people might think it's Cringe TM. it's just difficult. and it feels lonely to have all of this going on inside and not feeling able to talk about it.

Hi Vee💖. I love how you always have good advice and are always so kind, even if someone sends you not so nice anon messages. This isn’t anon hate so don’t worry, but I need your opinion on something. There’s been a lot of talk about the lack of reblogs, feedback, interaction. I agree with that 100%. I always reblog and leave kind comments because I want to let the writers I follow know how much I appreciate them. And while I don’t expect any of them to reblog what I said, it really hurts when I see writers interacting back with everyone else but me. I feel like I’m in high school again and I say hi to a bunch of cool girls and they all laugh at me or straight up ignore me. Am I that much of a loser? I don’t understand how writers can complain about lack of interaction and then only interact with their favorite mutuals and constantly ignore someone they may not be besties with, but at least they are doing the right thing and reblogging and being supportive. I’m not a newbie on here either. Sorry for sounding a bit depressing and down on myself. I guess I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter. Am I being too sensitive or stupid? Sorry for the long ass message. And if you don’t want to respond to my nonsense, I understand. 😔

Hey babes 💕 Thank you for your kind words! No need to apologize, I have my own long ass reply 😬

You are not overly sensitive and you are not stupid. Tumblr feels like high school at times. As much as it connects us, it is incredibly isolating. It seems like everyone is close except you. It makes sense to feel like you’re not good enough. I feel this way, too. And I agree, it’s confusing to see someone ask for engagement, but only engage with a select group of people. I see how that might make you feel like you’re not good enough. 

Speaking as a writer, it’s hard to say why we might (or might not) respond to someone. Each writer is different; there isn't a single, correct answer. We may not feel comfortable interacting with people we aren’t familiar with, we aren't getting notifications, we’re busy, or we might not reply to reblogs at all. And yes, one reason could be that the writer has a superiority, clique mindset (it's happened before and it's still happening tbh but that is a story for another day). 

I myself am guilty of not responding to all reblogs/replies, and that almost always it has to do with me. More often than not, I’ll be in the middle of replying, get distracted or can't think of what to say, and forget until weeks later. When I realize I never replied, I feel that such a late response would be rude or insincere.

Like I said, it's hard to give a blanket explanation. We're all trying to figure out how to have a good time and we're not always aware of how we are coming off. It doesn't negate your feelings. Because the person reblogging doesn't know why I didn't reply, they just know that I didn't. They see me ignoring them. And that hurts.

It also doesn't mean writers are completely at fault. Because the other side of it is that reader's don't know why a writer is not responding. Very often the writer is going through their own things that are preventing them from responding.

@/littlefeatherr brought this up before and I think it also holds weight in this conversation. Fandom etiquette differs in each fandom. Responding to reblogs may be common in one fandom, but discouraged in another. If a writer comes from a fandom where you don't respond to reblogs, they might not be aware of the fandom etiquette differences.

Also, I am so sorry I ever made you feel ignored or like a loser. That is never my intention, I have a tendency of getting in my head, but please know I am very appreciative of everyone who reblogs and comments

THGJE: Postmortem

I finished this story about six months ago, though it took rather longer to post. It's already kind of weird looking back on it: in the current phase of history, six months feels like forever.

When I started it, I was still in the early stages of processing the overwhelming isolation and panic of the pandemic, and found it difficult to write at all. @ununnilium had started writing a story that was written one sentence at a time, and I decided to do something similar: something that would let me ensure I wrote a short bit of something every day, no matter what.

I'd made a couple attempts at writing something about Jenny Everywhere (including the previous version of this blog) that hadn't gone anywhere. I basically had given up on the whole thing as the concept slowly died away, but, inspired by @aristidetwain and others' work to archive and build on past Jenny Everywhere material, I decided to give it another try.

I literally had no idea what I was doing when I started it off. I threw in bits of things I'd experienced and books I'd read, drawing on a wide variety of literary influences from Moorcock to Dumas to Brecht to radical trans literature like Stone Butch Blues and Sea Witch.

The pieces of the plot and themes gradually fell into place as I worked on this, and it was around the end of act 4 that I finally figured out what the story was about; the Dumasian portion of the story was the most planned and least improvised. I found it stressful to write but rewarding once it was done.

Over the course of the story I've referenced a bunch of other public domain/open source characters and concepts, most of which can be figured out pretty easily from the pdsh and Jenny Everywhere wikis. One exception was Voyage of the Zephyrus, a project that @ununnilium had been working on ages ago, intended to be a kind of vaguely Doctor Who-inspired story world about a dimension-traveling ship whose captain would share the memories of all those who held that post before them. They've been thinking about releasing the stuff they wrote for it as some kind of open-source project.

I didn't really revise the story as I wrote it, as I wanted it to be an unmediated expression of what I was thinking and feeling at the time as much as possible, and worried that if I spent too long to think about it I'd lose momentum as I had for so many other things. Having come out the other end of this, there's a number of things I'd do differently, but I'll let this story to stand as it is as

As I started this, I'd just moved out of the town I'd spent most of my life in and felt the need to redefine myself as a person and a writer. I wrote this to work through new feelings and ideas, to try and deepen my connection to I wrote this out of a very deep desperation and frustration, a prayer for something better in my life and the world. I don't think we're any closer to that, on the surface it seems like we're farther away than ever.

Still... I did manage to finish a long story, which I had thought I couldn't do. Who knows what else might be possible?

I want to thank everyone who's indulged this story, from the small Jenny Everywhere fandom on tumblr to the people on rec.arts.comics.creative. I think we've proven this concept has a future and I'm really excited to see where it's going from here on out.

I also wanted to add more things to the pool for future writers to draw on, so I'll just say the characters who were created for this including Glendalf/Lailoken, ARCHONET and so forth are open source, and people have blanket permission to use ideas and plot elements from this story.

And last but not least:

The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition: This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, that others might use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

Thank you and good night.

How to Master the Kalyan Chart with These Simple Tips

 Welcome, enthusiasts! Ever feel like you're just one step away from cracking the code to mastering the Kalyan Chart? Well, buckle up because today, we're diving deep into the world of this fascinating chart, exploring tips and strategies that could refine your understanding and enhance your skill set. 

Whether you're a seasoned aficionado or a curious newcomer, this guide is crafted to offer insights that are bound to captivate and enlighten you on your journey to mastering the Kalyan Chart.

Unlocking the Mysteries of the Kalyan Chart

The Kalyan Chart is more than just numbers on a page; it's a narrative of patterns, trends, and possibilities. Think of it as a puzzle, where each piece connects seamlessly with another, creating a bigger picture that's both intriguing and challenging. So, let's gear up to decode this puzzle with precision and a bit of flair!

Understanding the Basics

Before diving into complex strategies, it’s crucial to build a solid foundation. What exactly is the Kalyan Chart? It's a chart used to track patterns and trends over a period. Familiarizing yourself with its format, common terms, and basic principles is the first step toward mastery. Knowledge of the chart’s layout and the significance of its entries will set the stage for more advanced analysis.

Analyzing Patterns

Patterns are the heart of the Kalyan Chart. Start by observing simple trends and sequences. Does a particular set of numbers occur frequently? Is there a pattern in how numbers are positioned after specific intervals? These observations might seem basic, but they are your first clues in understanding the deeper mechanics at play.

Leveraging Historical Data

History often holds the keys to the future. In the context of the Kalyan Chart, historical data can provide invaluable insights. Analyzing past charts can help you identify which patterns tend to repeat and which are anomalies. This long-term perspective is crucial for making informed observations and decisions.

Utilizing Statistical Tools

In today’s digital age, various statistical tools can help demystify complex data sets. Applying these tools to the Kalyan Chart can reveal insights that manual analysis might miss. Tools like trend analysis algorithms, mean calculators, and pattern recognition software can enhance your understanding and significantly speed up your analysis process.

The Importance of Consistency

Consistency is key in mastering any skill, and studying the Kalyan Chart is no exception. Regular practice in analyzing the charts helps refine your skills over time. Set a routine to study the patterns, make notes, and review your observations. Consistent effort will build your confidence and competence.

Networking with Peers

Learning in isolation can be limiting. Engaging with a community of like-minded individuals can accelerate your learning curve. Join forums, participate in discussions, and exchange tips with others who are also studying the Kalyan Chart. Networking not only enhances your knowledge but also opens up new perspectives and methodologies.

Stay Updated and Adaptable

The only constant is change, and the Kalyan Chart is no exception to this rule. Staying updated with any shifts or updates in the charting techniques is crucial. Adaptability to new methods and readiness to unlearn and relearn will keep you ahead in the game. Remember, flexibility and an open mind are your best tools in mastering any complex system.

Conclusion

Mastering the Kalyan Chart is not an overnight feat but a thrilling journey filled with learning and discovery. 

By understanding the basics, analyzing patterns, leveraging historical data, utilizing statistical tools, maintaining consistency, networking with peers, and staying adaptable, you are well on your way to becoming proficient with the Kalyan Chart.

So, what are you waiting for? Dive into the details, embrace the complexity, and enjoy every moment of your journey to mastery. Happy analyzing!

What else, Tweyen brings up the "monster" thing a lot during her recruitment, calling the captain that for awakening the bow

It feels a bit like she's trying to reclaim the word,in a way, by either dragging someone else down to that level with her or by putting on positive associations, since she's in the process of befriending the player and if they can both be monsters, at least she won't have to be alone

Now I'm not sure if we get a proper timeline on things, but because I can't ever stop I'm gonna HC that her fight with Silva happened fairly recently before this, which opened up some old wounds and she's still reeling from losing a friend/ love interest while also being reminded of her trauma. I'm going with that until I'm proven wrong

She gets significantly less unhinged as time goes on and she manages to make other friends and especially when she makes up with Silva, of course. We're all very proud of her

Oh yeah definitely agreed.

I think Tweyen is desperate for connections, but as she's always been isolated for "being a monster", she forever holds on to this word and its connotactions.

I think her time with Silva basically had her believe, because of Silva's insistance, that actually she wasn't a monster.... so when Silva slipped, it's like the whole thing was a lie. And i think it's why Silva's way to try to fix it was to "try to become a monster, even better than Tweyen, so we can both be monsters together and she doesn't have to feel bad about it", and why she felt unworthy of being by Tweyen's side until she achieved that.

Meanwhile i think Tweyen had to convince herself that she HAD to be the monster -- if even Silva, who tried to tell her she wasn't one, ended up thinking she was one, then it meant it was unavoidable. It's what she was meant to be all along. When the Two Star Bow start to possess her she says she needs to become even more monstruous because then it will explain why Silva pushed her away, she needs to become the monster, because it justifies why she lost something so precious to her.

so yeah, when she meets MC, she is trying a new approach at connecting with others. first she obviously is trying to stop them, but then, it's really just "maybe as two monsters we can get along". she's trying to find a home to this word, because if this word pushed her away from all the homes she thought she had, then she had to make it her own home and invite people in it.

so i could see her fight with Silva be pretty recent at this point - not super recent either, but like, dating from a few months back or something. Just recent enough that it's vivid in her mind, but old enough that she's trying to move away from it, but still recent enough that she's moving away from it in a way that really calls back to said experience yaknow?

But yeah eventually she gets to learn that she's not the monster people wanted her to be, and she manages to make up with Silva by the end of it, and now she's very gentle.

In retrospect, i didn't think of it then bc i didn't know her, but it makes her bonding this quickly with Mugen very sweet. Mugen is pretty much his own "brand of monster" if you will, he has the behavior of a child, he doesn't remember his life before that, he has to be taught how to speak, he's been abandonned because he was different and dangerous, you see him turn into a blue hair mindless creature in the event after the only person he considered home rejected him.... No wonder Tweyen was particularly soft to him, in retrospect. She probably saw a lot of herself in the way he was rejected and basically went "i am not going to be to him what others people have been to me." and she's been nothing but sweet and warm with him.

when i first read SoR i didn't know her so i just thought it was her being kind, but with knowing her own association to this isolation and monstruosity, she probably related hard and was kind because she knew exactly how it would feel otherwise.

happy she found her place now though...

Nurturing Your Mental Health: A Journey to Inner Well-being

In the fast-paced world we live in, where the demands of daily life seem unending, taking care of our mental health has become more crucial than ever before. Just as we prioritize our physical health through exercise and a balanced diet, our mental well-being deserves the same attention and care. In this blog post, we'll explore the importance of mental health, practical tips for maintaining it, and how destigmatizing the conversation around mental health can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.

Understanding Mental Health:

Mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, influencing our ability to handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Just as we all have physical health, we all have mental health, and it's important to remember that it exists on a spectrum. Just like our bodies can experience illness or injury, our minds can also face challenges that require attention and care.

The Importance of Mental Health:

Enhanced Productivity and Creativity: When our mental health is in check, we are better able to focus, solve problems, and think creatively. A healthy mind contributes to better decision-making and improved productivity in all aspects of life.

Stronger Relationships: Good mental health allows us to form and maintain meaningful connections with others. It enables us to communicate effectively, empathize, and contribute positively to our relationships.

Stress Management: A strong mental state equips us with effective coping mechanisms to handle stress. We're better equipped to face life's challenges and bounce back from setbacks.

Physical Health: Mental health and physical health are intertwined. Chronic stress and poor mental health can contribute to physical ailments. Prioritizing mental well-being can have a positive impact on our overall health.

Practical Tips for Nurturing Your Mental Health:

Practice Self-Care: Make time for activities that bring you joy, whether it's reading, walking in nature, practicing yoga, or indulging in hobbies. Self-care is not selfish; it's necessary for maintaining balance.

Stay Connected: Foster relationships with friends and family. Social connections provide a support system and combat feelings of isolation.

Mindfulness and Meditation: Incorporate mindfulness practices into your routine. Meditation and deep-breathing exercises can help reduce stress and increase emotional awareness.

Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when you're feeling overwhelmed. Establish clear boundaries to avoid burnout.

Physical Activity: Regular exercise is not only beneficial for your body but also for your mind. Physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters.

Seek Professional Help: If you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Therapy and counseling can provide valuable tools for managing your mental well-being.

Ending the Stigma:

Unfortunately, there is still a stigma surrounding mental health in many societies. This stigma can prevent individuals from seeking the help they need and deserve. It's crucial to break down these barriers through open conversations, education, and understanding. By speaking openly about our own experiences and supporting others, we can create an environment where seeking help for mental health is seen as a sign of strength, not weakness.

In conclusion, just as we nourish our bodies with wholesome food, we must also nurture our minds through self-care, support, and understanding. Remember that you are not alone in your journey towards better mental health, and seeking help is a sign of resilience. By prioritizing our mental well-being, we pave the way for a happier, more fulfilling life—one where we can thrive personally and contribute positively to the world around us.

4 stars

For some reason, I thought I wasn't going to enjoy this book. I think it didn't sound like something I was going to particularly like but I was going to give it a Try™️. I'm really glad I did because overall, I really enjoyed this.

I found the Italian inspired island a nice setting and while this at surface level is about fighting and surviving an apocalypse every few decades (??? Unclear), this mainly a grumpy bodyguard romance with everything else sprinkled in. The writing was easy to read and descriptive, but like in other reviews, I have a lot more questions and concerns about the world and religion and how the power works than what the book gives me.

Alessa's position of being the Chosen One and being bad at it isn't entirely unique to the YA format, but I liked how she accidentally killed three people and how terrified everyone became of her. The lack of faith in her BECAUSE of her recent accidents made sense and didn't feel derived from something silly. The fact that her title means "Window" and people call her that is kind of funny. I know it's said that her power amplifies a partner's magic, but I'm confused a bit of how she's able to manipulate and USE their magic too. Magnify and actually take someone else's power and use it seems like two different powers to me. Also she seems to know instinctually how to use it magic that isn't hers. But none of that is explained.

I did like Alessa. She wants to do good and tries, despite failing, and I commend her. She actively goes out of her way to get someone to protect her and learn exactly what this Padre Ivini is saying about her when no one will. I did enjoy the slow development of Dante's and Alessa's relationship. Dante good too. Too many times authors use grumpy instead of asshole or mean, but Dante wasn't ever rude or mean and even when he decided to leave or not want something or somehow hurt Alessa's feelings without intentionally being cruel, he apologized. I actually didn't guess his reveal but I figured he was Something like a Fonte.

Most of my issues has to do with the pacing, the way things worked in the world, and a bit of the predictability. Also, after 210 pages, this book kind of loses quality a tad.

Nothing really happens in this book until nearly 400 pages when the battle actually starts. Until then its solidly a romance while sort of preparing for the end of the world. The fact that people are trying to kill her, the lack of her power working, Ivini, and all that is just still happening and mainly background noise. So, this book, while enjoyable and readable, is pretty slow.

Why not train EVERY Fonte for battle? Why are they starting to train two weeks before? You know the apocalypse is coming when a Finiestra is picked, why not train immediately then? If your Goddess is all about connection and working together, isolating your savior doesn't really make any sense. I get maybe killing your Finestra when you have time to spare but A WEEK OR TWO BEFORE DOOMSDAY??? Where is the logic??? Just LEAVE for protection. Also why when these fools barely train are they using the last day of training to play on a beach??? And if your savior didn't show up why on earth would you wait until the end to show up??? I know the wind died but that was like a few days before. You had years. I would have been sweating when an island's finestra showed up and mine did not. Some things just don't make much sense.

The twin betrayal had me so mad. And he had the audacity being like "I told Ivini on Dante so we're even" 💀 SIR YOU LITERALLY TRIED TO KILL YOUR SISTER AND THEN TRIED TO CONVINCE HER TO DO IT HERSELF. And the narrative tries to make it all better. No. Absolutely not.

I did guess the end about the connection. It wasn't particularly hard. I did really like the part where HUGE SPOILER BEWARE Dante dies. I think having him dead and her searching for the source of life or whatever would have made an EPIC end but of course he had to come back to life. But they still are going to search for it.

Overall, it was really enjoyable and I think I would read the sequel when it comes out!