#it feels like coffee but without the too-much-elevated heart rate and the stomach issues
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Coffee Princess (Shownu X reader oneshot)
The tall sparkling glass building shines in the late afternoon sun where it sits in the midst of the bustling city that is Seoul. Outside, people walk up and down the sidewalk going about their daily lives, cars rushing past in the usual city traffic on the street next to them. In the midst of this rush of movement, a slender figure slips out the glass doors of a little coffee shop down the street from the tall glass building, a box of baked sweets in one hand and a carrier packed with coffee cups in the other.
“I’ll be right back!” You call over your shoulder at the other baristas, who only wave back cheerfully.
“Take your time!” They call, well aware of where you were going. You grin and tuck the furry hood of your coat around your head before hurrying down the street towards your destination. The chilly winter wind blows at your cheeks and makes your eyes water, but you still find yourself smiling, excited about seeing the person you were about to see. The guards in the lobby of the building wave you in, already used to seeing you appear periodically with snacks and coffee in tow. You quickly duck into one of the elevators waiting on the ground floor, tapping your feet lightly against the linoleum floor to warm up from your short trip outside. The elevator opens on the chosen floor with a light ding, and you hurry on to your destination. You walk to another pair of glass doors, identified by the bronze plaque set into the wall next to it.
Seoul Police, Violent Crimes Division.
A young man with a cheerful smile opens the door for you as you arrive, seeming to have been waiting for you.
“Noona!” He exclaims, a bright smile on his face. You find yourself smiling in response to the boy’s cheerful grin.
“Minhyuk-ah.” You say, “You’ve been waiting for me?” Minhyuk grins and nods eagerly.
“The entire division has been waiting for you!” He beams, “Your snacks are always the best after a long day of work.” He yelps as a hand hits him lightly on the head from behind.
“Yah, don’t make it sound like she’s only good for her snacks.” Jooheon chides, “That’s rude.” Minhyuk pouts and rubs the back of his head ruefully.
“Noona knows that’s not what I meant!” He grumbles. You laugh and hold out the box of baked goods you had brought.
“Here, this must be what you’re waiting for.” You say. Minhyuk’s eyes light up and he takes the box from your hands.
“Thank you noona!” He chirps and dashes off with the treats.
“Everyone!” You hear him call, “Noona brought us some treats!” Jooheon shakes his head and holds the door open for you as you walk into the large spacious office set aside for the division.
“You spoil him too much Noona.” He says. You laugh and shake your head.
“It’s nothing.” You respond, “I know you have all worked hard today. It’s just a small treat.” Ever since a year ago, every time the Violent Crimes Division returned from carrying out a mission, you would receive a call from a particular member of the division, and you would pack up some of the officers’ favorite baked goods and walk down the street to the tall imposing glass building. Given that you were the owner of the coffee shop, giving sweets for free to the hardworking officers of the Violent Crimes Division wasn’t really an issue.
You cast your gaze slowly around the bustling office space, looking for that one person in particular. However, he was nowhere to be found among the bustling police officers. You hear Jooheon chuckle softly behind you.
“Shownu hyung is in his office.” He says, pointing up the short flight of stairs to where a separate office sat, it’s blinds drawn. You grin and nod your thanks to Jooheon, your heart skipping a beat in excitement as you pick up one cup of coffee in particular from the carrier and hand the rest to Jooheon. You walk up the short flight of stairs and knock on the door softly, but hear no response. You turn to look at Jooheon quizzically, who shrugs and motions for you to go in. You hesitate for a moment before pushing open the door and stepping inside the pristine office. The office consisted of a large mahogany desk covered in folders and files next to a flat screen computer, each containing important information about each crime the division dealt with. A little bookshelf sat behind the desk, various trophies laid in a careful line on top. Sofas sat in a little rectangular shape on the left side of the room, lit up slightly by the sunlight streaming in from the windows. Your gaze travels around the room before landing on a tall figure sprawled out on one of the sofas
There he is.
You walk softly over to the desk and put down the drink in your hand before tiptoeing over to the sofa where the figure lay. A little smile turns up the corner of your lips as you look down at the sofa.
Son Hyunwoo, also known to his division as Shownu, was the head of the Violent Crimes Division, the youngest to ever take that position after a series of impressive achievements early on in his career. After rising to the leadership position, he had cracked down on the darkest corners of Seoul’s busy streets, greatly decreasing the crime rate and earning the praise of many.
Said accomplished man was also your boyfriend.
It had all started a little over a year ago, when you had first opened your little coffee shop down the street from the police department building. It had been a dream of yours to run your own coffee shop for a while, and you had finally found a place with the right layout and rent to fulfill it. Plus, with the police station nearby, there was a guaranteed stream of customers. Everything had gone more or less smoothly for a few months after opening, until one day you were outside taking a shipment of coffee beans when you found yourself in the middle of a standoff between a runaway criminal and the Violent Crimes Division. The criminal had been in the middle of transport from where he had been apprehended to headquarters when he had somehow managed to escape the car he was in and took off down the street.
And luckily for you, you were right in the middle of his path.
In seconds, the criminal had grabbed you and taken you hostage, holding a glinting silver knife to your neck as police officers surrounded you from both sides.
“Put down your weapons!” He had snarled, “Or else this woman will die!” You froze in place as the knife came dangerously close to your neck, your heart pounding in terror. The police drew their guns, but stood in place, uncertain of what to do. Then, a voice spoke.
“Taking a hostage? What an underhanded tactic.” Son Hyunwoo appeared from behind the group of police officers, his gaze calm and cool. Despite the situation you were in, you had felt your heart skip a beat, completely taken in by the young officer. Before the criminal could say anything else, Shownu had drawn a gun from his side and shot the criminal directly in the foot, right in the small part that your body was not shielding. As the man behind you stumbled, Shownu reached out and pulled you away from the criminal in one swift motion, kicking the man in the stomach and sending him tumbling to the sidewalk as he did so. In seconds, you found yourself in a pair of strong muscular arms, safely away from the chaos that ensued as the runaway criminal was surrounded and handcuffed again. Shownu’s touch was warm and comforting despite what had just happened, his voice calm and gentle as he helped you stand up.
“Are you alright?” He had asked. You nod and smile.
“Thank you for helping me.” You had responded.
“It’s what I should do.” He had replied gently. He was then called away by another police officer, but that was not the last you saw of the handsome young man. Before long, he seemed to realize you were the owner of the new coffee shop down the street from his workplace, and soon you began seeing him enter through the glass doors of your little shop every morning for an order of iced americano. It had started out with small little conversations while you made his coffee, how you were feeling after being held hostage briefly by a runaway criminal, little questions about how his work was going, how business was going for your shop.For his strength and unflinching bravery during work, Shownu was a surprisingly gentle and shy man outside of it, particularly when it came to talking with a woman.
But that duality was precisely one of the many things that made you feel increasingly attracted to him the more you saw him.
Shownu was soon a regular at your coffee shop, so regular that your employees began telling you when he arrived if you weren’t already at the front counter. He would smile warmly upon seeing you, and you would grin and turn to make coffee for him without needing him to open his mouth, sometimes adding a baked good with it as a treat. Within a few months, he was shyly asking you if you wanted to see a movie with him, his hands uncharacteristically clasped together nervously as he fumbled for the right words. Your cheeks had flushed hot at the invitation, knowing very well what it meant, but you had happily accepted. One movie date turned into another, followed by a first dinner together and many meals afterwards. The two of you went on walks through the nearby park together, chatting casually about anything that came to mind. You weren’t sure why, but you felt comfortable around this man, as if you could talk with him forever. He made you feel safe, and never pushed for more than what you felt comfortable with.
One thing was sure, however: slowly, but surely, Son Hyunwoo had found a place in your heart.
And so, when he had driven you home one day after having dinner together, took out a necklace he had bought at the nearby jewelry store and asked you to be his official girlfriend, you knew there was no other answer in your heart besides ‘yes.’
A full year had passed since then, and your relationship with Shownu had only grown stronger with every passing day.
You smile as you draw yourself out of the memories of the past year, and kneel down to look at the young man that had captured your heart. The young policeman was sprawled on the sofa fast asleep, one arm slung over his head. He was dressed in a crisp white dress shirt and black jeans, the top two buttons undone, revealing just a little of the well sculpted body underneath the white material. A black vest and a pair of black gloves lay where they had been tossed over the arm of the other sofa, likely where it had stayed since Shownu had thrown it there before he fell asleep. His lips were parted ever so slightly as he breathed steadily, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm as he slept. A warm smile turns up the corner of your lips as you cup your face in one hand and trail one finger lightly over his handsome features.
“What did I do to deserve a boyfriend like this?” You muse softly to yourself, your heart fluttering just looking at Son Hyunwoo. A moment later, long fingers suddenly latch onto your wrist, and you squeak in surprise as you are yanked off your feet and onto the sofa, landing neatly on top of the figure that had surely been sleeping just a moment ago.
“You saved the world and back.” A familiar voice murmurs drowsily, sounding tired yet amused at the same time. You blink in surprise as Shownu’s eyes open slowly, his warm gaze meeting yours. Your face flushes hot as you realize you were caught staring and marveling over your boyfriend’s looks.
“I-I thought you were sleeping!” You stammer, turning your head away slightly. A soft chuckle reverberates in Shownu’s chest against your cheek.
“Silly girl.” He teases, “I was awake the moment you stepped into the room.” Your heart beats fast in your chest, your face flushing in embarrassment as you realize he’s right; he was the head of the police division dealing with some of the worst crimes in the city after all. Of course he wouldn’t be caught unaware, even while he had been sleeping.
“You should have said something!” You protest, giving him a half hearted smack on the chest. He laughs again, one arm wrapping around your waist and the other tilting your head back towards him. Your breath catches in your throat as he pulls you to him and gives you a soft kiss on the lips.
“I wanted to hear what praises you had for your perfect boyfriend.” He murmurs against your lips. You squeak in embarrassment and open your lips to protest but he cuts you off with another kiss, deeper and firmer this time. Blood roars in your ears as all protests fall away in the fog that comes over your brain. You hear Shownu laugh softly as he pulls away.
“Your face is as red as a tomato.” He teases, long slender fingers pinching your cheek playfully. You splutter and search for the right words to protest, but fail spectacularly in the midst of the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. In the end, you bury your face in his chest with a squeak.
“Oppa, you’re awful!” You protest with a light kick of your feet. Shownu had been a shy puppy when they had been getting to know each other, but there was an entirely different side to him that came out once they started dating. He laughs again, the sound music to your ears.
“Ah, I feel so refreshed now.” He teases, “I’ve been waiting to see my little energizer all day!”
“Is this how you’re supposed to treat a girlfriend you’ve wanted to see all day?” You grumble, your voice muffled from your current position. Shownu chuckles and ruffles your hair gently before kissing each of your fingers lightly, his other hand warm on your back.
“Is that better?” He asks, “I really did miss you, my princess.”
“Mm.” You mumble, your heart finally slowing down to a normal rate. Somehow, Shownu knew just which buttons to push to make you flustered, and which buttons to press to make you fall ever deeper in love with him. The two of you lie there on the sofa for a few minutes before Shownu turns his head towards the desk.
“I smell coffee.” He says, “Handmade by my princess.” You grin and nod.
“A hot chocolate mocha, perfect on a cold day for my hardworking Hyunwoo oppa.” You reply. He grins and carefully slips you off him before rising from the sofa and walking to the desk. You watch as he walks back with the drink and takes a sip.
“How is it?” You ask. Shownu grins.
“As sweet as my princess.” He replies. You blush again at the compliment, then giggle as you look up at Shownu.
“What?” He asks, confused. You giggle and point at his face.
“You have cream on your face.” You reply. Shownu pokes at his lips in confusion, and you laugh as you watch him struggle for a few moments before reaching up and planting a little kiss on the corner of his lip, licking away the remaining cream at the same time.
“Right here.” You reply. Shownu freezes for a moment, startled by your sudden movement. Then, he groans and covers his face with one hand, a deep sigh escaping his lips followed by a dry laugh. You tilt your head curiously, wondering what was so funny. Shownu sighs.
“I was planning on finishing these two reports on the criminals our team caught today,” He says,“But at this rate I’m not going to get a single word typed up on my computer.”
“Why not?” You ask curiously. Shownu chuckles and puts down his drink before wrapping one arm around your shoulders and planting a warm kiss on your forehead.
“I can’t possibly get any work done while you’re here.” He replies, “I just want to sit here and hold you in my arms.” You blush and give him a light push.
“In that case I will head back down to the coffee shop.” You respond, even though you didn’t want to leave quite so soon, “I have delivered my snacks already, and you have work to do.” Shownu’s grip tightens as you try to stand up and you can’t help but smile in amusement as he pouts.
“Do you have to go?” He asks. You laugh softly and give him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
“My shop will be open until you’re finished with work for today.” You reply, “How does that sound?” Shownu’s eyes light up at your suggestion, and he lets go of you reluctantly.
“Alright.” He grumbles, “I’ll finish work quickly and come to find you.” You rise to your feet and head for the door, but the moment you turn the knob, the door is pushed shut again by a large hand. You turn and see Shownu standing behind you, one arm outstretched, his palm pressed firmly against the door that he had just shoved shut.
“Oppa?” You ask, puzzled, “Did you forget something?” Shownu doesn’t say anything for a long moment, a contemplative look on his face. Then, he turns you around and pulls you into his warm embrace, your head tucked against his shoulder.
“Just give me three seconds.” He murmurs as you squirm at the sudden hug. One finger taps lightly against your back, counting the seconds as promised. After three seconds, Shownu sighs and lets you go, one hand patting you gently on the head.
“Wait for me.” He said, “We’ll eat dinner together.” You nod and give him a light peck on the cheek before turning to open the door again. You hear him sigh and within seconds the door was slammed shut again. Shownu’s arms wrap tightly around your waist, his head resting on your shoulder.
“Perhaps...another ten minutes of energizing wouldn’t hurt?” He suggested. You laugh and wrap your arms around his neck, tilting your head slightly at the yearning look on his face.
“What about your reports?” You ask. Shownu chuckles and tilts your head up with one long finger.
“It can wait for a little energizing.” He replies. He captures your lips with his, and you were more than happy to oblige.
Son Hyunwoo, I love you.
#monsta x shownu#Monsta X#monsta x fanfic#monsta x fanfiction#shownu#shownu scenarios#monsta x shownu scenario#kpop#kpop scenario#monsta x au#monsta x scenarios#monsta x scenario#shownu scenario#monsta x x reader#oneshot#kpop oneshot#monsta x oneshot#son hyunwoo#son hyunwoo fanfiction
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Head First
Anonymous said:
Congrats on your milestone. Daring is dangerous Chelle! I dare you to write yourself with Jinyoung and admit that you love him! Everyone knows your hatred is actual love for him! Not a enemy to lovers au like you usually do either. Love from first sight!
Pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader
Genre: love at first sight / office au / fluff
Warnings: none
A/N: You know, anon, daring is dangerous. And you didn’t specify who was the one who fell in love first, hehehehe. Prepare yourself for a different Jinyoung – after all, there’s no enemies to lovers au in this XD
Word count: 2742
He didn’t understand why he was like this around you. Jinyoung had always prided himself as someone with tact and was respected by all those he worked alongside. From his university degree to the office, he was known for his tenacity for a productive working environment.
Yet why was he falling head first at your feet every time he crossed paths with you?
“Are you alright, Jinyoung?” you asked with concern, reaching out your hand but he wasn’t going to allow you to help him scrape himself off the ground. He was dumbfounded and frankly mortified to have tripped over, well, his own feet in front of you.
Slipping your hand back to the folders you held in your arms, you smiled weakly, nodding a little as you walked on by. And once you were out of sight, Jinyoung let out a groan, thumping the wall beside him.
Just what was wrong with him when it came to you?
“I did it again,” he admitted with an elongated sigh as his roommate Jackson handed him the ice pack he had requested. Although he had acted as if his clumsy fall at work hadn’t amounted to much during working hours, once he was off the clock, he was all but limping to the underground parking lot. Now sprawled out on the couch with the cooling pack over the affected area, Jinyoung let out another exasperated whine. “Just why do I keep being so clumsy in front of Y/N?!”
“Because you like her.”
“I don’t even know her!” Jinyoung retorted, throwing his hands up in the air. ��Unlike you, I can’t even speak more than four words to her without stuttering or ending up injuring myself! This is the third time I’ve embarrassed myself in front of her. The members in my team are starting to talk; soon I’ll be the butt end of every joke at the company!”
Jackson grinned, shrugging a little as he threw back the remnants of some green juice he made as his pre-workout fuel. Jinyoung glared at his friend, he wouldn’t be able to get in a good gym session tonight with how sore his ankle felt and that annoyed him too.
“Maybe next time try and aim to fall on your butt. It’s probably got the most cushion to handle how clumsy you are right now.”
“I’m not amused.”
“Come on, Jinyoung! Just admit it. What was it like when you very first saw Y/N? Sure, she seems nice enough to me, but something had to have happened when you first met her for you to be this messed up. She’s not someone who’s going to turn heads everywhere she goes, that’s for sure.”
Jinyoung sighed; you were definitely average in looks and skills to most people. As an entry-level worker who was older, you had gained attention quickly throughout the office before Jinyoung had first crossed paths with you. Not many were hired so long out of university by the company and so rumours had travelled fast on what your situation was. Unlike the rest, gossiping wasn’t something Jinyoung partook in during his office hours, focused on getting the tasks he needed to be done and in a productive manner.
It was on your third day when he finally met you when you stepped into the elevator he was already on. Not that he had seen you yet, just the enormous stack of papers you carried. “Oh uh, excuse me, could you please push level eight for me? I can’t let this go right now.”
“Done,” he replied after pressing the button. And like he always did for other employees, Jinyoung reached out to help take some of your load. He took half the stack of reports off the top which you started reacting to immediately.
“Oh thank you! I didn’t expect help but it’s so nice to have someone to share the burden with!”
Now with your face exposed from behind the stack of papers, Jinyoung’s stomach lurched immediately. He wasn’t sure why his body was now tingling or what the reason was for how round his eyes had grown at seeing your face. Yet his system had gone into overdrive, his heart now thumping erratically in his chest.
“You’re very kind for helping me,” you continued, leaning around your stack to read his name badge. “Thank you, Park Jinyoung.”
And it was the warm smile you shot him after saying his name that sealed his ill fate, the weight within his arms dropping and scattering over the entire elevator floor. For the first time in his working career, he was openly flustered, attempting to apologise and scrape everything up before the doors dinged open, your smile now weak, restrained. It was a scramble, and he was certain in your eyes he looked like a complete idiot. Jinyoung had managed to pick everything up just in time for the doors to spring open, dashing out of the elevator and then dumping the pile of files on top of the reception counter for the sales office. He couldn’t even remember if he had said goodbye to you, acutely aware of the weird incoherent sound he had made as he sped walked down the hallway to his department.
Your first encounter had been such a mess, and despite all attempts, he had only continued to be flustered and seemingly incapable of being a proper functioning human in front of you.
Jinyoung sighed, shaking his head. “The only thing that happened was I was a complete idiot and I’ve been that way since.”
“Hm, let’s see,” Jackson replied thoughtfully, reaching out to place a solemn hand over his friend’s head. He then jerked it away dramatically and nodded his head in answer. “That’s it, I dub thee lovesick.”
“You’re not helping.”
“Nor is your damsel in distress act whenever you see her. I have to admit, I’m deeply amused. You, of all people, are the last one I expected to become this messy when you have a crush.”
“I do not have a crush!”
“Jinyoung, you basically avoid her at all costs, even I’ve seen you do it. You definitely are feeling something for her.”
“Yeah, continued mortification,” he grumbled, the annoyance he felt sinking his stomach further.
Jinyoung desperately wanted to regain common ground in the very least. His pride and professionalism were at stake the longer you bothered him and he had worked too hard to let it slip away all because of, well, he still wasn’t prepared to claim he had a crush on you. This wasn’t high school and he was a grown man capable of relationships with others.
He would just have to work harder and prove that whatever silly phase he was in would soon pass. Jinyoung was determined to not let you affect him any longer.
His determination was short-lived. The very next day he had locked himself in the supplies closet by accident when he saw you and diverted his path, stepping into the first room he could find. On Tuesday he accidentally split his iced coffee on his brand new shirt when he choked on his straw when you greeted him on passing and by Thursday he could tell you were now uncomfortable to even see him around the office.
He had successfully made you just as awkward as he was.
And when the doors opened to the elevator and showed you he was riding inside, Jinyoung noticed the way you hesitated to step on. Still, you did so and he pressed himself into the wall anxiously, hoping if he stayed away from you and remained silent, this would be the longest time in your company where he didn’t make a complete fool of himself.
Or you.
“Can I ask you something?” you finally said after a minute of travelling in silence and Jinyoung glanced at you quickly, gripping the bar when he felt his heart rate increase. You sighed heavily. “Are you having fun?”
“F-fun?”
“With teasing me. Everyone says you’re one of the best workers here and very diligent. Yet all I’ve seen out of you is… well, are you acting stupid on purpose?”
Great. So now all this had amounted to you thinking he was doing this intentionally. Jinyoung groaned internally at the predicament before moistening his lips in preparation to talk. Right then, the doors sprang open and he sucked in a deep breath of relief seeing Jackson step inside.
“Morning Y/N!” Jackson greeted and then turned to his friend. “What’s wrong with you? Are you hyperventilating? Ah is it because of-”
“Justdropit,” Jinyoung breathed out hastily, uncaring if this was his stop or not when the doors opened again. He dashed out into the hallway and then turned for the door for the stairs, leaning against the wall as he willed himself to take deep breaths in and out.
Just why were you making him so pathetic?
Jinyoung began to take the stairs for everything. It was safer that way, no longer needing to worry about bumping into you whilst he made his way throughout the company building. Sure, it was a downright hassle, and everyone thought he was nuts even when he proclaimed he was using it as exercise since he sat in a chair all day.
Still, it was easier than dealing with his issue with you.
And because of this newfound avoidance tactic, Jinyoung hadn’t seen you for three weeks.
He thought he’d be more pleased about this.
And he was to some extent. No longer did he leave the office kicking himself for being so flustered each day. He didn’t spend his nights ruminating over how he could have prevented an incident with you earlier in the day because he hadn’t had one. And he was much more productive with his work.
Instead, he yearned to break away from this new habit just to see if he was cured of acting ridiculous in front of you.
And he realised he was feeling down because he hadn’t seen you in person.
Which was completely confusing for him. Of all the things Jinyoung wanted to be known for, clumsy and incapable were not it. And yet that’s all you knew of him. Sure, he had tried to change that and then you had come back with thinking his behaviour was intentional.
He hadn’t faced his problem; in fact, he had run from it and that was equally as stupid as before.
Because strangely, he missed you.
Jinyoung couldn’t fathom how he missed someone he didn’t exactly know more than a name about. He understood missing a family member you hadn’t seen in months. Or a friend who moved overseas. A connection that was lost. But he had no relationship with you and seeing you usually gave him anxiety.
Why did he crave seeing you even after establishing you were the cause to all of his incompetence?
This uneasiness compelled him to linger in hallways more than necessary. He slowly started to return to using the elevator. And strangely, he hadn’t crossed pathways with you within an entire week.
“Y/N?” Jackson repeated as Jinyoung enquired about you, and his friend speared a piece of sushi with a chopstick before frowning. “Didn’t you know she took time off? Maybe a week ago she stopped coming into the office. Something about a child needing her? I think she’s a solo parent.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Jackson looked at Jinyoung as if he had sprouted an extra head. “Dude, you were losing it over that girl and specifically preached that I never mention her in front of you. Sue me for actually following through for once.”
Now Jinyoung was foolishly mourning the loss of a potential connection – one that he had been blundering his way through over the past three months.
Turning down the chance to go out with his friends in the weekend, Jinyoung instead went to do the groceries, mulling over the list Jackson had given him and trying to decide if the packet he held was macro and organic or not.
And before he had the chance to move off, a familiar face came into his view, smiling hesitantly at him. “Jinyoung, hello.”
“Y/N, who’s that?” the young teenage boy beside you asked and you brushed the hair away from your face and sighed.
“Jinyoung is someone I used to work with.”
“Was my sister really good at her job?! I keep telling her to go back now that I’m better but she won’t!” the boy implored and Jinyoung merely opened his mouth and then closed it again.
You took that as a sign to move on. “Let’s not bother him anymore, hm? It looks like he’s busy with his groceries.”
Before you left the aisle, Jinyoung spun around, taking in a sharp inhale. “I think I like you!”
“W-what?”
Waiting for you to turn around, Jinyoung gripped onto his grocery cart and nodded. “Actually, I know I do. I wasn’t doing it intentionally. You just made me really flustered, is all.”
“Me?” you repeated, glancing at your brother beside you and then back at Jinyoung. “You were flustered by me?”
“Why not, Y/N? You’re awesome!”
Jinyoung nodded rapidly in agreement, feeling dizzy with the action. He groaned. “You see, I don’t know why you get to me but you have ever since I met you. That’s why I made all those errors. I must’ve looked like a fool in front of you, and I often tried not to. And I’m honestly not this clumsy or ridiculous or pathetic normally. Yet in front of you, it was as if my brain stopped working. I even tried avoiding you, taking the stairs instead so you wouldn’t be burdened by me.”
“So that’s where you disappeared to,” you murmured, your smile growing shy.
“You had been looking out for me?”
Nodding, you chewed at your lip. “I kind of missed you.”
“Just kind of?” your brother chirped and you tried to grab onto his mouth to silence him. “If this is the guy who you kept complaining about, then you definitely have missed him. She’s been moping. Take her back to work, please. I’m honestly okay now!”
“Why don’t you go find us what’s left on the list and I’ll pretend I didn’t see the cookies you slipped into the cart earlier,” you bargained, handing the shopping list over to your brother and then clasped your hands in front of you as he went off eagerly. You let out a small laugh. “I guess I missed you more than I wanted to admit. Which is weird right? Because I only know your name.”
Jinyoung shook his head, smiling broadly. “No, I missed you too.”
“You did?”
“My buddy Jackson believes in love at first sight and I always told him that was nonsense. But I can’t think of any other reason as to why you have stirred my life up completely. And sure, love is a bit… well, I wouldn’t go as far to say I love you because all I know about you is your name and that you have a brother. But I’m ready to find out more if you are. This could be the start of love, at least.”
“I didn’t take you for such a romantic,” you teased, though you nodded lightly, your blush indicating just how affected you were by his admission. “And maybe it’s lust at first sight?”
“It’s something,” he admitted with a chuckle and you giggled in response.
Which promptly turned his legs to jelly and he had to crouch before he fell to the ground. Looking up at you exasperatedly, you stooped down to his level, grinning at him happily. “I’m looking forward to getting to know more about you Jinyoung, but could you stop falling at my feet? You make me feel bad because normally it’s me who is incredibly clumsy and in front of you, strangely I’m doing better than I thought. Maybe this is some sort of love.”
You held out your hand and he finally took it, the warmth radiating up his arm making him bury his face in his free hand with how foolish he was acting. Still, he didn’t let you go and you made no attempt to do so either.
“Try to have some patience with me as I combat this, please?”
“With how adorable you’re being towards me, I could wait forever if you needed me to.”
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two, across (2/?)
Fandom: Fire Emblem Three Houses
Pairing: Hilda Valentine Goneril / Lysithea von Ordelia
Rating: T
Wordcount: 7,678
Summary: Lysithea can barely keep afloat under the workload of giving undergrad lectures and finishing off her PhD thesis. Meanwhile Dr. Hilda V. Goneril is somehow both the laziest person as well as the most successful young professor she has ever known. It’s absolutely aggravating.
Read it here on AO3 or read it below the cut
The elevators are broken. All of them. Lysithea stands on the ground floor with Hilda, staring at the yellow tape suspended over each of the elevator doors. Her heart sinks in her chest, and her grip slackens on her coffee.
"Can you believe this?" Hilda whines, punctuating her words with a stomp of her foot on the ground. "Do they expect us to clamber up Everest to get to our offices every day? What bullshit!"
"It's only seven floors." Even as Lysithea says it, she is furiously calculating how many steps that would entail.
How many steps were there per flight of stairs on average? Twenty-five? Thirty? She usually starts panting at around thirty, and has to take a break at forty. Edelgard always knew to take long walks around cities or parks with extra breaks. Lysithea didn’t know how many times she would have to stop while climbing seven whole flights of stairs.
"Maybe we can work from some ground floor offices," Hilda muses, taking a contemplative sip of the coffee Lysithea had brought her that morning. "I could kick Leonie out of the gym office space, and we could work from there instead? It’ll smell, but it’ll just be for this week. Until they get the elevators up and running."
It's tempting. It really is. And Lysithea is ashamed of herself for seriously considering letting Hilda do just that.
Eventually however, Lysithea sighs. "No. We should just suck it up, and walk up the stairs."
Hilda whines again, but she's already trudging towards the nearby door marked with the symbol for stairs.
"This is so inconvenient!" Hilda groans, pushing the door open and holding it until Lysithea has joined her. "And, you know what? Leonie wouldn't even mind! I mean, yeah, okay. She would mind. But I could make a great sales pitch about how it's just turning every day into leg day for the next week. She might buy that!"
Hilda continues on in that vein, and Lysithea listens with only half an ear. The stairs extend ahead of her, looming like a snow-capped peak, except these are gilded in white linoleum. The chromed handrails gleam with the sweat of too many generations of hands passing over them. Lysithea is reluctant to touch them, but knows she will have to eventually.
On the other hand, Hilda has already begun the climb. She is still talking, and has made it halfway up the first set of stairs before Lysithea can gather enough courage to even start.
The first floor passes without much issue. Lysithea tries telling herself that it won't be so bad; she can do this. Hilda's constant chatter acts like a balm. Her presence is almost soothing, in and of itself.
The second floor is where Lysithea's hubris realises its potential. Her breath has grown laboured. She reaches for the handrail. Hilda is ahead of her by a good distance, but they're still on the same set of stairs together at least.
By the third floor, Lysithea feels an all too familiar twinge in her chest.
By the fourth floor, Hilda's voice fades into a murmur of white noise, like static.
By the fifth floor, Lysithea drops her coffee. She doesn't mean to. Her hands are trembling uncontrollably, and the takeaway cup slips from her fingers. The coffee goes splattering all over her shoes and black stockings. The cup tumbles down the stairs until it rolls to a halt and dribbles dark foam.
Hilda's voice stops, and an awful silence descends over the fifth floor staircase. Lysithea is panting. She is bent over her knees, and clutching the handrail like it's a buoy keeping her afloat.
"Are you alright?"
"Y-Yeah," Lysithea lies. She turns and sinks to the ground so that she is seated on the step she had just been standing on. She doesn't even notice that she's sitting in some of the coffee spill until it's too late, and by then she can't bring herself to care.
Hilda's boots clack against the ground. She comes to stand behind Lysithea, and for a brief moment, Lysithea feels fear lance through her at the thought of what expression Hilda might be wearing.
Finally, Hilda sits down beside her with a huff -- on the other side so as to not sit in the coffee. "Geesh," she says. "You listened to my moaning this whole time, when you legit were on the point of, like, dying behind me?"
Lysithea leans her head against the railing, relishing the cool press of metal against her forehead. "At this point, I'm used to listening to your moaning by now."
Hilda nudges their shoulders together to get Lysithea’s attention, and then wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. "That's what she said."
With a groan, Lysithea shoves weakly at Hilda’s shoulder. "Shut the fuck up. You have the humour of a twelve year old boy."
In answer, Hilda wordlessly hands Lysithea her coffee cup, and then stands. She descends to the step just in front of Lysithea, and turns so that her back is facing her. Hilda pats herself on the shoulder. "Come on, then. Hop on and hold tight, spider-monkey."
Lysithea glares at Hilda’s back. "You did not just make a Twilight reference."
"I sure did. Now either hop on, or I'll leave you to crawl the last two floors by yourself. Up to you."
Lysithea purses her lips. She considers her options. Sighing, she clutches the coffee cup in one hand and wraps her other arm around Hilda's neck. She feels Hilda's hands slide under her knees as she crawls atop her back. When Hilda straightens, there’s a flex of muscle all along her back and shoulders. For all that however Lysithea is surprised at how soft she is.
"If you tell anyone about this," Lysithea says, her voice dangerously low in Hilda's ear, "I'll kill you, and they will never find your body."
"How dare you threaten me with a good time."
Hilda jostles Lysithea a little to get her resting just so against her back, before turning around and marching up the stairs once more. As she does so, she steps around the spilled coffee so as to not get any on her designer boots.
“I’ll need to give the janitorial staff a gift,” Lysithea mumbles against Hilda’s spine.
“Cyril likes flowers. Little white ones that come in bouquets. Baby’s breath, or whatever they’re called. Which suits him, actually; he’s such a baby-faced guy.”
Lysithea lifts her head slightly to frown at the slope of Hilda’s cheek. “How on earth do you know that?”
Hilda flashes Lysithea a sly grin over her shoulder. “I make a point of being on excellent terms with janitorial staff wherever I work.”
“Of course you do.”
The last two floors to their offices pass without incident. Apart from the fact that Lysithea can’t help but notice that Hilda smells nice. Really nice. So nice, Lysithea almost asks what perfume she wears, but keeps her mouth shut instead and demands to be put down the moment Hilda carries her up that last step.
--
The elevators are down for the entire week. Everyday of that week, Hilda gives her a piggyback ride up the stairs. And everyday of that week, Hilda complains about the university’s health and safety policies.
“Seriously,” she says on Thursday for the fourth time, “you should complain to Judith about this. If you don’t, then I will.”
Lysithea huffs against Hilda’s shoulder blade. “I doubt the head of the biosciences department can make the university contractors work any faster.”
“No, but she can talk to Rhea on your behalf. Duh!"
"And what's the Dean supposed to do about it? Magically make the elevators work again?"
"Maybe! You don't know!" Hilda grouses, and she is excellent at grousing. “If nothing else, they should review their disability services. Or install a pulley system for you. Bucket and rope, that kind of thing.”
“Your thoughtfulness is as touching as ever,” Lysithea says dryly.
“Or I could just -” Hilda pretends to drop her, loosening her grip beneath Lysithea’s knees.
With a yelp, Lysithea wraps her arms more tightly around Hilda’s neck. “No! I take it back! I take it back!”
“That’s what I thought. Did Cyril like the flowers, by the way?”
They have resumed the climb, and Lysithea relaxes fractionally, safe in the knowledge that Hilda would not have actually abandoned her on the third floor stairwell. “He did. He still has them in a vase, I think.”
“Told you so!” Hilda says in that sing-song tone of hers.
“You’re insufferable. You know that?”
“You love it."
"I do not."
"And yet you continue to hang out with me. So, who's really at fault here, huh? Checkmate."
"That's -!" Lysithea splutters. "- completely illogical! How is it my fault that you tricked me into hanging out with you?”
“What do you mean ‘tricked you’?”
“You heard me.”
“Uh, we had a deal. That’s not tricking. Besides,” Hilda has to pause on the fifth floor landing to hike Lysithea a little further up her back, “You can’t steal a crossword in a communal newspaper. It’s literally for everyone to use.”
“Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean you can’t steal from a communal resource. That’s the definition of the Tragedy of the Commons.”
“So, you admit it? We’re friends?”
Lysithea snorts, and says sarcastically, “No, I prefer to let my nemesis carry me up flights of stairs every day.”
“Your nemesis sounds like a really cool gal. With amazing eyeliner. And impeccable taste in clothes.”
“And an ego the size of a planet,” Lysithea adds to the list.
Hilda ignores that comment. “You should totally let her give you a makeover.”
“Over my dead body.”
Hilda laughs, and the sound makes Lysithea’s stomach fizz like she’s had too much sparkling lemonade.
It’s a good thing Edelgard and Hilda don’t know one another, Lysithea thinks. If Edelgard found out about this whole Almost-Fainting-on-the-University-Staircase (A.F.U.S.) debacle, she would be on the first flight over to scold Lysithea in person for being so careless. And Lysithea isn’t sure she could handle both Edelgard and Hilda in the same place at the same time.
--
Edelgard’s monthly care package arrives in the office on the same day that Lysithea finally manages to arrange a meeting with her main supervisor. She enters Tomas' office, excited to finally get some guidance on all the hard work she's put into her thesis over the last few months, only to leave twenty minutes later with more questions than answers.
He is nothing like how he’d acted when she was still being courted by the university before this whole process began. Back then, Tomas had been charming, always with a kind smile and a twinkle in his eye. Now, he jabs his finger at her data charts and refuses to accept any answers she gives him regardless of how many different ways she explains the results.
Lysithea is wandering listlessly back to her own office, cradling the latest drafted chapter of her thesis, when she sees Hilda striding towards her down the hallway.
"Hey! Lysithea!" Hilda holds up an enormous cardboard box that she’s carrying. "You got a package in the mail! And judging by the weight, your family sent you -” she lifts the box with both hands. “- a shipment of lead! It’s your lucky day."
"Oh," Lysithea feels her spirits stir somewhat at the sight of the package. "My friend sends me those every other month. It's probably full of food and new clothes."
At that, Hilda's eyes light up, the way they did when she figured out a crossword clue, or when they are walking down the street and she saw a pretty girl wearing an outfit she admired. “Well, I gotta see what’s in it now. Hang on -” her brow furrows slightly, and she looks down at the package. “A friend sends you gifts nearly every month?”
“Edelgard has known me since I was five. We’re basically siblings,” Lysithea says by way of explanation.
The furrow in Hilda’s brow disappears. “Aww. That’s so cute!”
Lysithea hums in wordless agreement. Normally, whenever Hilda called her ‘cute’ Lysithea would reprimand her, but she can’t be bothered today. She tries to slip past Hilda, and slope into her office for a much needed sulk, but Hilda steps in her way.
“Bad meeting?” Hilda asks, and thankfully she has lowered her voice.
The pages of the thesis chapter crinkle beneath Lysithea’s fingers. Even looking at all of Tomas’ notes scrawled across the first page makes her feel sick to her stomach. “He thinks the data is insufficient, and doesn’t correspond strongly enough with the overall thesis statement.”
Hilda frowns. “Then why didn’t he say anything at the time. You gathered it a year ago, yeah?”
“That’s what I said!” Lysithea bursts out, before ducking her head and lowering her voice to a surly mutter. “And Hanneman thinks the data set is fine, but whenever I point that out, Tomas just gets mad and reminds me that Hanneman isn’t my main supervisor.”
“Hmm.”
For a moment that is Hilda’s only response. She shifts the box in her arms in order to reach up with one hand and lower her sunglasses from where they’re perched atop her head. Then, she nudges Lysithea towards the elevators with her shoulder. “C’mon. Forget Tomas. We’re going to lunch, and you’re going to open this great big box, and it’ll cheer you right up.”
“You’re only saying that because you want to know what’s in the box, aren’t you?”
“I’m insulted you would even think that of me.” Hilda sniffs, then drums her fingers in a playful rhythm against the box in question. “It’s only part of the reason.”
“And what’s the other part?” Lysithea asks.
“I’m a woman of grace and mystery. You’ll just have to embrace that,” Hilda says as she lifts her leg to hit the button that calls the elevator with the toe of her boot.
They go to lunch at a place down the road, because both of them are tired of the downstairs cafe, and if they have to order the same croissant sandwiches again one of them is going to scream. Hilda grabs a table outside in the hopes that they can enjoy the last good day of fall before the cold rainy season hits. The sun is watery, but Hilda drags the table a bit further from the shade, and Lysithea moves the chairs.
They order, and their drinks come out. Hilda barely lets Lysithea take a sip before she places the package atop the table and all but bounces with anticipation in her seat.
"Looking at the two of us, nobody would guess that you're the childish one," Lysithea says. She grabs up a knife from the cutlery placed out for them, and starts to cut through the copious amounts of tape that Edelgard had used to wrap the box.
"You say that, but I wish I looked as adorable as you."
Lysithea pauses to glare at Hilda, but it sloughs off her like water from a duck's back. Lysithea continues cutting until she can finally prise the box open.
Predictably, Edelgard has stuffed the box full of more goodies than Lysithea could possibly consume or wear in half a year. Lysithea immediately goes for a smaller package of her favourite cookies, which have been padded with an assortment of clothes wrapped in expensive-looking tissue paper and bound in ribbon.
She never recognised the labels of the clothing or accessories, but Lysithea always recognised the sweets.
“Oh, wow,” Hilda breathes, as Lysithea peels back the wrapping of a biscuit elaborately painted with frosting.
Closing her eyes, Lysithea sighs with pleasure as she takes that first bite. When she opens her eyes again, it’s to find Hilda watching her closely. "Do you want some? I thought you said I had too much of a sweet tooth for your tastes."
"Yeah, well, bring on the diabetes because those look amazing."
With a sigh, Lysithea holds out the biscuit she has already taken a bite of, but instead of taking it from her hand, Hilda leans over the table. She takes an extra big bite, so that when she leans back in her seat she triumphantly holds half of the biscuit in her mouth. Lysithea just rolls her eyes. If it were any other occasion, Lysithea would have given her a scolding, but even a glance into the box clearly shows that she won’t be running out of confectionaries any time soon.
“Okay, what else you got, Lysithea’s friend?” Hilda asks the absent El, pulling the box towards her side of the table to sift through its contents.
Lysithea finishes off the cookie, and is reaching for another when she stops. Hilda has gone stock still. Her mouth hangs slightly open.
“What is it?” Lysithea asks.
Hilda does not immediately answer. She pulls off her sunglasses, and places them on the table, but her eyes never leave the box’s contents. She takes out one of the carefully lined pieces of clothing as though it’s made of gold dust and dreams. When she tugs the ribbon free, the gauzy paper falls open to reveal a black t-shirt splashed with bold red lettering.
Hilda picks up the t-shirt to gaze at it in shock. There are dozens of other pieces of clothing similarly wrapped and stashed in the box. Lysithea doesn’t see what all the fuss is about.
“Are you telling me,” Hilda says slowly, and her voice climbs with every word, “that this whole time, you had an uber rich childhood friend who sends you Valentino via air freight? Valentino?”
“Yes?” Lysithea mumbles, wondering if this is some sort of trick question. “Is that a good brand, or something?”
She knows it’s a dumb question the moment it leaves her mouth. Hilda lowers the t-shirt just enough to stare at her over it. “Why don’t I ever see you wearing this stuff?!”
“It’s -! It’s not really my style,” Lysithea says lamely.
“Not your -!” Hilda has to close her eyes and calm herself with a deep breath. Then, she starts folding everything back perfectly the way it was. “You’re paying for lunch. Consider it amends for your sins.”
“You can have the clothes, if you want?” Lysithea offers, picking up her soda.
“You think I could fit into this? Look at these, and then look at your spaghetti arms.” For emphasis, Hilda lifts one of her own arms and pokes at the bulge of muscle at her shoulder.
Lysithea is taking a sip from her drink, and makes an exasperated noise at the back of her throat. She puts the glass down. “You know I can’t go to the gym. I can barely walk five blocks without needing to sit down.”
“At least tell me what you do with all the clothes your mystery millionaire sends you.”
Lysithea worries her lower lip between her teeth. Hilda gives her a look, and she admits with a wince, “I donate them to a shelter in town.”
Hilda buries her face into the shirt she had just folded, and muffles a sound halfway between a scream and a sob in the fabric.
Tentatively, Lysithea reaches across the table to pat the top of Hilda’s head.
Hilda’s voice is muted through the shirt. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
Lysithea pats her head some more. “There, there.”
They have to clear the table, because the waiter is descending upon them with his arms laden with plates. Hilda swipes one of Lysithea fries before Lysithea can even reach for the condiments.
“Okay, here’s the deal -” Hilda starts, but winces. “Ow! Those are hot!”
“I feel less than zero sympathy for you right now.”
“Fair. But you’ll sing a different tune when you hear of my super cool new deal.” Hilda snags another fry, avoiding Lysithea’s hand swatting down at her wrist. “I’ll read your latest thesis draft and give you feedback and all that jazz, if you do the same for an article I’ve just finished. You can come over to my place this weekend, and we’ll trade. It’ll be fun.”
Lysithea places the condiment bottle aside, and picks up her fork and knife. “Why is everything always a trade with you?”
“All relationships should be equal and fair.”
Such a frank answer gives Lysithea pause.
And then Hilda continues, “You know. The division of labour in society. Eat the rich.”
Lysithea aims a flat stare at her. “You’re already eating my lunch and my care package.”
Hilda grabs another one of Lysithea’s fries, pops it into her mouth, and winks.
--
On Saturday evening, Hilda flings open the door to her apartment the moment Lysithea knocks. Lysithea hadn’t known what was an appropriate gift for her hostess, or if her hostess even technically required a gift, or if bringing Hilda soda when she was sick constituted a suitable substitution. In the end, she had defaulted to the latter of the options, and is now being dragged into Hilda’s apartment, empty-handed.
If Hilda notices, she doesn’t show it. She shuts the front door behind them, and gestures vaguely to the apartment. “Welcome to my lair or whatever.”
On Lysithea’s previous visit, the curtains had been drawn and the lights dimmed so she couldn’t see anything apart from the impression of shapes. And perhaps it would have been better if that had remained the case.
"Wow." Lysithea looks around at the wreckage. "Your place sure is...even messier than your office."
"Organised chaos, my brother calls it."
"Your brother is very kind."
"I think so, too. You want cider? I bought cider." Even without Lysithea's answer, Hilda is heading towards the kitchen.
"I don't really drink much," Lysithea admits, picking her way carefully across the floor after Hilda so she doesn’t step on anything.
"Oh, that's alright. You don't have to. I have soda, too!"
Lysithea blinks in surprise at Hilda's response, which had been immediate. In most social situations, Lysithea's adversion to alcohol was met with passive aggressive disdain or wheedling for her to join in the revelry. Hilda on the other hand, just starts pulling out various two litre bottles of sparkling lemonade and ginger ales, and arranging them on the counter in a single file formation like soldiers on parade.
"I've got Schweppes. I've got Bundaberg. I've got Sprite. I've got Canada Dry. I’ve got San Pellegrino. I’ve got Perrier. I’ve got this new L&P stuff that my brother had shipped in from Australia or something, which I’ve been dying to try. Pick your poison."
Approaching the counter, Lysithea eyes the various bottles. Hilda has also pulled out a cider for herself, and is rustling around in a drawer for a bottle opener. Hesitantly, Lysithea picks up the cider and turns the bottle over in her hands. The glass is cold and misty from its time spent in the fridge. She goes to the back label and runs her thumb over the 2.4% ABV lettering.
She can't even recall the last time she had alcohol. No, wait. That’s a lie. It had been on her eighteenth birthday. She had been allowed a single glass of champagne. It had a fresh strawberry in it, fizzing away at the bottom of the glass, and had tasted like dry unsweetened soda.
Lysithea held the bottle of cider out to Hilda, who had finally found the bottle opener in her messy drawer of various cutlery, cooking knives, and spatulas. "Actually, I've changed my mind. I'll have one of these."
Slowly, Hilda takes the cider, and prises the cap free. “You sure?” She tosses the cap onto the counter, where it rattles around before settling in place. "Seriously, it's not a problem. No pressure. We're not, like, going out or anything. It's just us here, so -"
"This is fine. Thanks." Lysithea takes the bottle back, but doesn't immediately take a drink. She hesitates, and re-thinks her actions.
With a shrug, Hilda turns to the fridge to pull out another cider for herself. "Alright. Up to you."
Switching the cold bottle into her off hand, Lysithea tugs at the strap of her bag over her shoulder to a more comfortable angle so that it doesn't dig into her skin. "So, uh - where are we doing this? Here?"
She nods pointedly to the kitchen table, which is piled high with grocery bags, library books, articles, makeup, empty mason jars, full mason jars, beads, jewelry, craft items, wire in various metals such as gold and silver and copper. Lysithea wanders closer to the table, clutching her cider.
"You," she tilts her head to one side, "make jewelry?"
"Yup. It’s a hobby of mine." Hilda joins her. She puts down her own open bottle of cider, and picks up what Lysithea had originally thought was a necklace. She presses it to Lysithea's chest. "This sweater clip would look good on you by the way. Especially with one of those grandma cardigans you like so much. You should take it."
Hilda shoves the sweater clip into Lysithea’s free hand before she can complain.
"They're not 'grandma cardigans.'" Lysithea grouses. "They're just my cardigans."
"And you look very cute in them. You'll look even cuter wearing this. If you don’t want to wear the sweater clip with the cardigan, you can just hook them into the tips of your collars. Very chic right now. Or - ooh!" Hilda dives into one of the grocery bags, pawing through its contents. "I have a brooch in here that would make you look like some sort of Edwardian porcelain doll."
Lysithea scrunches up her nose. "No, thank you."
"No, no! I meant it in a good way!"
"I'm sure you did. But my answer is the same."
Hilda whines, but eventually relents. "Fine. Keep the sweater clip though. And don’t you dare donate it to a shelter!"
For a moment, Lysithea considers denying that request. Instead, she runs the fine gold chain between her fingers. Two clips hang from each end of the chain, molded from gold into the shape of little decorative pinecones with ivy leaves.
Hilda is right. They would look good with her cardigans. And she does like cardigans...
"Thanks." Lysithea puts the sweater clip into a compartment of her bag, so that she won't forget that it's there. "So, can we clear this table, or -?"
Suddenly, Hilda stands between Lysithea and the table as if guarding her firstborn child from an evil witch out for blood. "No way! Don't touch anything here."
Lysithea crosses her arms as well as she could for someone holding a glass bottle. "What the hell do you think I'm going to do? It’s not like I can make it worse than it already is!"
"It's perfect! I know exactly where everything is!"
"Oh, yeah?" Lysithea lifts her chin, and issues the challenge: "Find me a pair of scissors."
Immediately, Hilda reaches into a bag and pulls out a pair of gleaming sewing scissors. The nice kind. The kind that Lysithea's mother would have yelled at her for touching as a child.
Sticking out her lower lip, Lysithea mumbles, "Yeah, ok. Fine."
Hilda waggles the scissors at her. "You're extra cute when you pout."
"Call me cute again, and I'm dumping this cider over your head."
At that, Hilda makes a face, but says nothing. She simply sticks the scissors back into the bag and out of sight.
"I think I saw a couch under all the rubble of your living room," Lysithea says. But as soon as she takes a step towards the living room, Hilda interrupts.
“Okay, I know we’re still new to this friendship thing, but we need to make one thing clear. All of this?” Hilda gestures towards the apartment in general. “Just looks messy, alright? I have a system.”
Now, that, finally was something Lysithea could understand. She had a Routine, after all. Capital 'R'. And it sounded like Hilda's system came with its own capital letter, too.
"Please don't tell me we have to sit on the ground for this." Lysithea looks down at the kitchen floor. While cluttered just like everything else in the apartment, at least the floor appears clean. Hilda obviously washed stuff, she just didn't tidy it.
In answer, Hilda picks up her cider and tilts the bottle towards the kitchen exit. "This way.”
Hilda leads her not towards the living room, but towards her bedroom. When Lysithea realises what is happening, she freezes.
"Uh -" Lysithea says eloquently.
Hilda stops in the doorway to her bedroom, and shoots a puzzled glance over her shoulder. "Huh? What's wrong?"
Lysithea looks down at the cider in their hands, then at the bedroom beyond; she can’t meet Hilda’s gaze. She can feel her cheeks warming up, and knows her face must be going bright red.
Hilda's eyes widen. "Oh! Oh! No, it’s -” She laughs, and Lysithea has never known Hilda to be anything but the epitome of confidence, but she sounds slightly nervous now. “It’s not like that. It totally could be like that, but it’s not like that. Tonight, there’s no funny business."
Even so, Lysithea squints at Hilda in suspicion.
"I swear!" Hilda draws an 'X' over her chest with her free hand. "Cross my heart, and hope to die."
"I am starting to think you're actually two twelve year olds in a designer trench coat," Lysithea says. "How old are you, really?"
"Thirty this year."
Lysithea rocks back on her heels. "You're barely even thirty, and you were giving me shit for being twenty-four a few weeks ago?"
"There's a big difference between thirty and twenty-four. Six whole years difference, to be exact."
"Congratulations. You can count. Your brother must be so proud."
Hilda makes a rude gesture with her fingers, then walks further into her bedroom. "Don't even talk to me about it. The idea of turning thirty has seriously been playing havoc with my nerves. I'm going to be middle aged soon."
"Tragic," Lysithea drawls, following her inside.
"I'm being serious! I'm ancient! I could keel over at any second. You're going to have to put me into one of those old folk’s home, where they’ll dress me in scuffed kitten heels and outdated Chanel."
“I promise to polish your kitten heels for you when your crippling arthritis kicks in.”
Hilda’s expression brightens. “Really?”
“No.”
“Tease.”
Hilda flops onto her bed. It's the only piece of furniture in the room that doesn't have mountains of stuff piled atop it. The chest of draws in the corner is almost entirely hidden beneath the sheer quantity of jewelry that Hilda owns. There's a work station that holds a laptop and a few charging cables, along with heaps of stray electronic devices that Lysithea can't even name. Lysithea would have guessed the table got some use, but for the fact that the chair in front of it is a sand-dune made of clean clothes that Hilda hasn't gotten around to putting away.
The closet door is open, and shoes are spilling out in all directions. Innumerable jackets seem to be multiplying inside. More unopened shoe boxes teeter towards the ceiling. There's a narrow path between the shoes scattered along the floor that leads to the bathroom door, which is partially ajar.
When Hilda jumps atop the bed, she bounces twice. She kicks her boots off and flings them in the vague direction of the closet, where they ricochet off the closet door. She places her bottle of cider onto the bedside table, and swaps it for a tablet that was charging there. She flicks the tablet on, and keys in the passcode.
When Lysithea still hasn't moved from her place in the doorway, Hilda glances up at her. "Well?" She grabs a pillow and makes a show of fluffing it up and propping it on the wall beside her, where she gestures to it as though to a throne. "Make yourself at home."
Slowly, Lysithea makes her way over to the bed. Where Hilda had jumped, Lysithea clambered. She nearly spilled her cider, and had to switch it between hands to keep from making a mess of the pink and white striped sheets, which are surprisingly soft. They smell like clean laundry and Hilda's perfume.
She shoves that thought aside brusquely. Clearing her throat, Lysithea slips her work bag from her shoulder and digs through it for her laptop.
Something warm touches the hand holding her bottle, and Lysithea nearly jerks away before she realises that Hilda is taking the cider from her so that she can shuffle around in her bag without spilling anything.
"Thanks," Lysithea mumbles, letting Hilda take the bottle for a second.
"Sure thing." Hilda hands the cider back the moment Lysithea has set up the computer on her lap.
Between the two of them holding the bottle, the cider has begun to warm in their grasps. Lysithea takes a tentative first sip. It's sweet, pear-flavoured, and only has the mildest hint of alcohol. She takes another sip, and then balances it between her legs so that she can still type on her laptop.
“Alright, did you email me your article?”
“Already in your inbox since eleven this morning.”
Hilda lounges back on her own pillow, sprawling over a good portion of the bed while she, presumably, opens Lysithea’s thesis on her tablet. She had summoned a tablet stylus from somewhere, and is jotting down notes directly onto the screen.
Bracing herself with another swig of cider, Lysithea clicks on Hilda’s email, and gets to work.
The silence only lasts for a few minutes, before Hilda’s tablet starts playing music, and she hums along. Lysithea purses her lips, but does not tell her to stop. The additional noise and lyrics means she has to read more slowly for full comprehension. Lysithea finishes her cider, and sets it on the bedside table beside Hilda’s now empty bottle.
While they work, Hilda contorts herself into a number of poses on the bed. At one point she lies flat on her stomach, and swings her feet in the air. At another, she’s on her back with her head hanging off the edge, holding the tablet up and reading upsidedown. Later still, she sprawls on her side like she’s seated at some ancient Graecian banquet, her head propped on her hand, tapping along with her stylus to the rhythm of whatever pop song is playing.
Eventually, Hilda complains about wanting snacks, and bounces off the bed in search of something in the kitchen.
She returns with a bag of potato chips, and the invitation, “C’mon. It’s been like two hours. It’s break time.”
Lysithea is still scrolling through Hilda’s article, arduously checking all of her references. “But -”
“No ‘buts’.” Hilda waves the now open bag of chips in Lysithea’s face so that she can’t see the screen properly without leaning far to one side. And even then, Hilda follows her head with the bag. “Relax. The article isn’t going anywhere. It’s not due to be published for, like, two more months.”
Lysithea closes the lid of her laptop and puts it aside. “I don’t know how you do it,” she says, reaching for a chip.
“Do what?” Hilda waits until Lysithea has taken a handful before turning the bag back towards her self.
For a moment Lysithea can’t answer, because she’s chewing. Finally, she says, “You’ve got that -- that thing. You know. The -” Lysithea grasps at the air with one hand. “What’s that word? It’s Italian. Means you look careless but only because you practice looking careless.”
“Sprezzatura,” Hilda answers without hesitation.
Lysithea snaps her fingers. “That’s it! Jesus, you’re good at that. No wonder you’re so good at crosswords.”
Hilda pretends to primp and coquettishly twirl a strand of hair around her finger. “Thanks. I know.”
Lysithea snatches the bag of chips from Hilda’s hands. “Shut up. I wasn’t finished, so don’t look so smug.”
Hilda lets the bag go without any complaint, and says, "Go on, then. What other compliments do you want to render unto me?"
Lysithea sticks out her tongue at her. She knows it's childish, and under any other circumstances she would never have done so. But this is Hilda, and they're all alone. There's nobody else to judge. When it's just the two of them, Lysithea doesn't care if she looks childish -- Hilda would never think she was a child, regardless of her appearance.
"No more compliments,” Lysithea says. “And I could do with less of your strategic incompetence. It's incredibly annoying."
"You should try it sometime," says Hilda, reaching towards Lysithea’s lap to take a chip from the bag. She speaks while she chews, so that her words are punctuated with the crunch of crispy potato wafer. "It makes life so much easier when you don't have to worry about other people's expectations. Trust me."
Lysithea balks at the very thought. "No way! I couldn't do that."
"Why not?"
"Because!" she tries to think of a reason, but fails. "I just - I couldn't.”
Hilda goes for another chip. “I know you can do better than that.”
“I'm always worried about what people think when they look at me, because I've always been in the spotlight. I was taken out of the normal school system at the age of twelve and put into special programs. And even before that, it was a constant stream of performances. Whether it's with a musical instrument, or my education, or all the doctors -"
Lysithea’s eyes widen. She bites her tongue, when she realises exactly what she has said. Hilda has paused in her chewing, her mouth closed but her jaw almost comically jutting out to one side while she stares at Lysithea.
“Th-That - What I mean is -” Lysithea stammers. She has to clear her throat, and then fixes Hilda with a hard look that doesn’t match the waver still present in her voice. “You didn’t hear anything.”
Hilda blinks. “Hear what? Anyway, I’m starving. Are you starving? Let’s get something more than this.” She takes back the bag of chips and rolls it closed, sticking a few fingers in her mouth to lick off the residual salt. With her other hand, she pulls out her phone. “How does pizza sound? There’s a place around the corner that doesn’t completely suck and can deliver in fifteen minutes.”
Already hunched back over her laptop, Lysithea answers with relief, “Pizza is fine. Nothing too spicy, please.”
“Extra jalapeños. Got it.”
Lysithea can’t help but let out a small huff of laughter.
It’s going to be a long night.
--
Lysithea awakes to a sea of soft warmth. She blinks, bleary, and squints. Light streams through a window, washing the sheets a bright white. A tangle of pink hair peeks from beneath the sheets beside her, nestled into the neighboring pillow, and Lysithea freezes.
Hilda. She is in Hilda’s bed. She had spent the night at Hilda’s.
She doesn’t need to look down at herself to know that she is still mostly clothed. Her shoes and sweater have been abandoned somewhere on the floor. She could vaguely remember getting rid of them sometime after they ordered a pizza but before they abandoned their work to watch a show on netflix. Not that they had paid the show much attention. Hilda had spoken through the whole thing, as if every scene were in desperate need of her constant narration.
After that, Lysithea only remembers the warm hum of the laptop between them, and the softness of the bedsheets, and Hilda’s voice lowering to a murmuring lull. She must have fallen asleep, and Hilda hadn’t been so cruel as to wake her and kick her out of the apartment at midnight.
Empty bottles of soda and cider are scattered like a city skyline on the bedside table. Her laptop was long gone -- probably under the bed at this point. God only knows. The corner of Hilda's phone can be seen beneath her pillow, glinting in the light when Lysithea sits up in bed.
She needs to somehow make her way to the bathroom, but she is up against the wall, the floor at the foot of the bed is a wreckage of clothes, and Hilda is asleep blocking the only path to freedom. She decides to brave the mountain at the foot of the bed instead of crawling over an insensate Hilda. When she slips out from beneath the sheets and starts to edge further down the mattress however, Hilda rolls over, and Lysithea only narrowly escapes being clocked by a knee.
Swearing under her breath, Lysithea manages to escape, and climbs down the slope of Hilda's clothes. She finds her bag at the foot of the bed, beside her laptop, and breathes a sigh of relief that it hadn't been consumed by the living organism that was Hilda's apartment. Grabbing the bag, Lysithea heads to the bathroom, and shuts the door behind her as quietly as she can. The lock is a one of those sliding bars that covers the gap between the door and the frame, and Lysithea slips it into place.
The bathroom is, much to her surprise, clean. Apart from the copious amount of bottles and brushes and makeup and hair product and other cosmetic items that Lysithea did not know the names for, it's still clean. Towels hang from a heated rack along the wall, and the combined shower-tub gleams white.
Unfortunately however there's very little space on the countertops. Lysithea silently debates what to do with her bag until she finally gives up and props it on the edge of the bathtub. She has to bend over to loot through it. She pulls out another smaller bag from within, a black hard-lined case with a red and white caduceus staff logo on the front. It’s only her emergency staff, the one she keeps just in case her day doesn’t go quite as planned. Like yesterday. And today.
She unzips the case at the sink, but has to stop. Of all the products and bottles Hilda has accumulated, there's not a single empty glass, and she had not thought to bring some of the leftover soda from the bedroom. With a grimace, Lysithea flips the lid of the case up, and goes about part one of her morning routine.
The cavalcade of pills needs to be taken once every twenty-four hours. Most of the pill bottles sport warning labels about adverse effects when mixed with alcohol. She uncaps the first, and shakes a single pill into the centre of her palm. At most she can manage to swallow down two at a time, but it still seems to take an age. Especially since she has to keep moving the bag aside in order to run the tap and sip water from her cupped hands.
By the end, the front of her shirt has water marks all down it, and she is wiping off her chin and hands upon one of the fluffy towels. The bottles of pills are all lined up on the small bit of ledge she had cleared upon the sink, and the larger case they usually were neatly divided into rests upon the floor. Lysithea puts the last cap back onto its corresponding bottle, twisting until she hears the child-lock mechanism catch.
She catches sight of her reflection in the mirror. Her pale hair is a mess. She considers the odds that Hilda would mind her using one of the many brushes, before deciding to run her fingers through her hair instead.
“It’s not weird,” Lysithea tells her reflection in the mirror as she tries to tame a particularly stubborn cowlick to no avail. “She’s a friend. Having friends and staying at their house is not weird. You used to sleep in El’s bed all the time.”
That much, at least, is true. And that was even at Edelgard’s enormous family mansion, where there were more rooms with beds than a hospital, let alone in Hilda’s one bedroom apartment where the couch was off limits due to an overabundance of electronics and tchotchkes.
Her thoughts are interrupted by a knocking on the bathroom door.
“Lysithea,” Hilda’s voice is a tired mumble through the door. “C’mon. I need to use the bathroom.”
Frantic, Lysithea swipes all of her pill bottles from the sink ledge and back into her main bag. She doesn’t bother to sort them carefully into their own little miniature case like she normally would, cramming everything into her bag and tugging at the zippers.
Hilda's knocking intensifies.
"I'm coming!" Lysithea calls. There's a pause, and then she adds, "If you say 'that's what she says' I will spray you with the shower head."
"You're no fun before you've had coffee in the morning."
Lysithea yanks open the door. Hilda is rubbing at one of her eyes. Somewhere during the night before they had fallen asleep, she had the sense of mind to wash her face and remove all her makeup. Without her usual dark eyeliner and eyeshadow, Hilda looks -- not plain, exactly. Vulnerable. As though she used cosmetics as armour.
As she slips past her, Hilda says, "Coffee’s in the freezer. There's cereal for breakfast, if you want. Or leftover pizza. Just be sure to leave a slice for me."
"Yeah. Alright."
The bathroom door shuts, and the lock clicks into place. Lysithea stands there for a moment, unsure of what to do. She really should eat something. The medication was supposed to be taken with food. She can stay for breakfast. It’s fine. It’s sensible.
Sleeping over at a colleague’s house, and sharing a bed, and quibbling over who gets the bathroom, and eating leftovers for breakfast together is not weird.
It’s not weird. It’s worse.
It’s becoming part of the Routine.
--
NOTES:
The pinecones on the sweater clip is a very oblique reference to Lysithea’s major Crest of Gloucester and the Thyrsus. In Graeco-Roman mythology, the Thyrsus is a staff with a pinecone at the end.
also: tfw ur not-gf is too tiny to steal her designer clothes (TToTT)
#fe3h#fire emblem three houses#lysithea/hilda#lysithea von ordelia#hilda valentine goneril#roman writes#writing this story is so palette cleansing#I'm a simple gay.......with simple dreams.....#and those dreams involve Lysithea smooching a buff Hilda
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A light in the darkest night
Last time
Just as he is getting back to work an IM from Peresephone appeared on his screen
Persph-01: Thanatos? Did you get a text from me last night ?
Thanatos’s heart dropped in his stomach and only one thought comes to mind. Fuck!
The IM blinked as it waited for his attention the pulse of if matching his racing heart rate. Moving his mouse to click on it his fingers hover over the keyboard .Letting out a frustrated growl he pulled down his man bun running his fingers through his hair in frustration. No he couldn’t do this via corporate instant message. That wasn’t what friends did.
Logging of his computer he moved quickly not wasting time to wait on the elevator he instead took the closest stairs. With his long strides he easily covered the floor difference between his and hers. Arriving on the correct floor he was momentarily at a loss on where to look for her among the maze of cubicles. Having no real idea and not about to go ask Minthe he hesitated momentarily trying to let his instincts guide him.
He chose left because most likely Minthe had been the one choosing her desk location and the further from Hades the better. Coming towards the end of a row of empty cubicles he heard the soft sound of someone sniffling. The sound caused a mixture of sympathy and rage to build inside of him. Princess didn’t deserve to be this tore up over that piece of trash. If it was the last thing he did he would see that the asshole payed. Coming around the corner of the cubicle he is able to look in on Persephone without her noticing. Her hair had grown shockingly long and was pooled around her like a protective pink. On the desk her cell screen backlight is dimly lit up and he can see that the text screen is up just a hint of one of the pictures visible on it. The IM window is still ope. on her computer screen no response from him to answer her.
Thanatos: Persephone?
Persephone felt like her life was spiraling down a drain of shame and failure. Having come across the text she was horrified. Who? Why? It had to have been Apollo but why ? Had he shown those picture to others? What would Thanatos think about her? She was so ashamed. She knew Apollo had pictures but seeing them for herself just reminded her of all her failures and mistakes since leaving her mother’s side. She was a fake a farce. She hated herself. She choked back the loud sobs that threatened to slip free. Sure there wasn’t anyone near her desk for several rows but she didn’t want to be seen like this. She just needed to get herself together enough that she could slip out unnoticed and go home and cry herself sick. Mind made up on this plan of attack it all went out the window in hearing Thanatos call her name. He was here? He didn’t hate her. Didn’t think she was disgusting? No stop Persephone you can’t assume you know his feelings towards you. She looked up at him her face tear stained with even more tears threatening to fall from her swollen eyes.
Persephone: Thanatos? You came?
As she speaks her voice cracks.
Seeing her like this made his heart ache but hearing the surprise and almost wonder in her voice nearly did him in. His killer queen was lost and left was a broken princess that would require much more work than a simple spa day to fix.
Thanatos: Of course it’s me. I figured you might be a wreck and I was right it seems.
Carefully trying to navigate her hair to avoid stepping on as much of it as possible he came closer kneeling down to be on her eye level. Reaching up slowly he used his thumbs to to brush away the tears that threatened to fall.
Thanatos: I’ll be super honest I am really awful in situations like this. Like the worst, but I am good at one thing.
He opened his arms wide and inviting to her
Thanatos: I give pretty decent hugs and seems like you could use one.
Persephone’s bottom lip quivered momentarily before she let herself fall into his offered hug her sobs starting anew but being muffled against his shoulder.
It didn’t take long for his shirt to become soaked thru from her tears but he paid it no mind instead just rubbing her back and shushing her softly as she cried it all out. Finally her tears began to slow and she looked up wiping at her eyes with one hand still sniffling.
Thanatos: Feel any better?
Persephone sniffed shaking her head no still leaning against him for comfort
Persephone: I feel so ashamed, I can’t believe he did that.
Thanatos brushed her hair back behind her ears to try and prevent it from sticking to her tear damped face.
Thanatos: Listen to me, you have nothing to be ashamed about he is the one in the wrong here.
Persephone: But you don’t understand I do! It never should have happened I was supposed to stay pure that’s what I have been trained to be my whole life.
Seeing her about to break down again he shushes her lightly hugging her close once more
Thanatos: Don’t get yourself worked up. We can’t change what happened but I think if you talked it out it might help you sort through it all. Keeping something like this inside of you will just eat you up.
Standing up he pulls her with him.
Thanatos: How about we get out of here l. Today’s a wash for us and I know if I was you I wouldn’t want to be here.
He lets her go stepping back to let her make her own choice in the matter. She had obviously had to many people make choices for her in her life and she deserved to be allowed to make her own.
Persephone bit her lip looking at her desk and then back to Thanatos. She knew his suggestion was the right move plus she probably looked like a wreck at this point. Sighing she turned and logged off her computer.
Persephone: Your right, I am seriously going to get fired at this rate though.
Thanatos scoffs
Thanatos: Hades is easy. Just say you had lady issues and he will cave. He won’t even ask he will probably become so uncomfortable.
Persephone can’t help but smile a little at the image that pops in her head as she moved to grab her coat. Putting it on though proves to be quite difficult with her overlong hair.
Persephone: Can you help me out and use the scissors in my desk drawer to cut this mess off?
Thanatos does as asked cutting her hair off leaving it to hang just at her shoulder blades. He figured better to leave too much than cut too much.
Thanatos: Done , but not sure what we do with all the leftovers Princess. Can’t say I know any princes that need a hair braid to climb an ivory tower. Does this happen often?
Persephone sighs bending down to grab an armful of the discarded hair
Persephone : More than I care to fess up to. My powers go a bit haywire when I am upset.
Thanatos followed her lead also bent to gather up the hair
Thanatos: Well that’s different but guess it is better than growing another head like Hdyra right?
Persephone either doesn’t hear him or chooses not to comment as she carried the hair to the nearest trash can dropping it in. Thanatos follows her example with his own armful doing his best to brush a few stubborn hairs from his person.
Thanatos: That will have to do. Now then, for our grand escape let’s head downstairs to my desk so I can gather my things and we will be on our way.
Persephone nods following his lead back to the stairwell and down to his floor. Moving to his desk he snagged his coat and phone before leading them straight to the elevator. When the door opens they enter riding in silence to the first floor and exiting quickly. Unknown to them Minthe who had just come in from a smoke break saw them leaving together her eyes narrowing with suspicion as she checked her watch.
Minthe: To early for lunch... maybe a coffee break? Hmmm....
Minthe snuck behind them staying far enough back to not be seen and as they exited the building she securied a spot behind a decorative lobby plant to spy unseen.
Meanwhile Thanatos has hailed them a cab.
Thanatos: My place is close we can go there or your place. Whatever makes you comfortable .
Persephone: Let’s go to yours . Artemis doesn’t like men in the house.
Thanatos frowned hearing this last statement. It seemed Artemis was a walking contradiction or Persephone was hiding things from her roommate. Holding the door open to let Persephone in he followed after her giving the cabbie the address as he settled in.
As they are entering the cab Minthe secretly took a few photos the last being of the cab departing. Smiling like the cat that got the cream she headed back to her desk looking forward to the opportunity to use the pictures against the two biggest thorns in her side.
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11 Reasons You Can’t Sleep And Are Struggling to Stay Asleep
11 Reasons You Can’t Sleep And Are Struggling to Stay Asleep is available on www.ellymackay.com
I’d like to discuss 11 reasons you can’t sleep and are struggling to stay asleep but first, let me take a moment and wish you a happy holiday no matter which one you celebrate this time of year. I’m grateful that you spend your time with me each week and to have this opportunity to share my work and experience with you.
This holiday, my daughter is in China on a student exchange program so we are spending the holidays in Bejing and touring around China. It will be an interesting experience but I’m really excited to see my daughter, it’s been a while!
While I used TimeShifter and everything I know to minimize my challenges with the multiple timezone difference, holiday travel always makes sleeping more difficult.
And, with all of the travel and extra people in our houses, this is the time of year when a good night’s sleep can be even harder to come by.
With the holidays here and a new decade right around the corner, I know many of my patients are fighting to carve out enough time for proper sleep. I’ve heard and seen it countless times: You’re busy, both at work and scrambling to buy gifts, and it inevitably leads to you burning the candle at both ends.
But even without the added stress (and fun) that comes with the holidays, our country is struggling to get enough rest. A recent study from Ball State University made this clear, showing more than 35% of working Americans aren’t getting sufficient sleep.
There are a variety of reasons why that could be the case for you — reasons that could impact you not just during the holiday but at any point during the year. Because it’s not just about setting aside time for enough sleep. There are also a number of issues that could be interfering with your ability to fall asleep and stay asleep long enough to complete the four stages of sleep.
That’s why this week I wanted to give you a quick rundown of the 11 major reasons you may be having a hard time getting a good night’s sleep. Poor sleep contributes to a number of health issues like heart disease and stroke and shouldn’t be overlooked. If you’re waking up feeling tired, irritable and suffering from brain fog, please be mindful of these potential triggers.
1) Your Temperature
Temperature matters. If your body is too warm at night, you’re going to have a hard time completing REM sleep. The optimum room temperature for sleeping is around 65 degrees, or about 18 degrees Celsius, so make sure you check the thermostat before dozing off.
But another thing to keep in mind is your body temperature. Our body operates a process called thermoregulation on a 24-hour circadian cycle that allows it to adjust our core temperature. A lower body temperature at night helps you fall asleep quicker and stay asleep longer.
You might want to check out Cool Jams, the most stylish and best moisture wicking pajamas I know about, to help you stay cool throughout the night. I’ve included them in my holiday gift guide for this very reason.
2) Everyday Concerns
Whether it’s having a big report due at work, a recent fight with your significant other, or the frustration of having to pay a few hundred bucks to fix an unexpected car problem, the hurdles we run into everyday can significantly impact our sleep. This is a common issue that many of us deal with throughout our lives.
3) Alcohol
I’m not a big drinker. Still, I certainly understand the appeal of a nice glass of wine to unwind after work, or a few beers while sitting back and watching the game at night.
At the same time, millions of people turn to alcohol at night as their go-to sleep aid, with around 20% of Americans relying on it to help them fall asleep.
But drinking, especially the closer you get to sleep, will actually do you more harm than good. I’ve talked about alcohol’s negative impact on sleep at length in the past. While it may help you fall asleep quickly, during the second half of the night, your sleep becomes more disrupted. That’s because as your body metabolizes alcohol, the body goes through the “rebound effect,” where it transitions from deeper to lighter sleep. This leads to more waking up throughout the night.
4) Caffeine
Perhaps the most obvious one on the list. Caffeine, and coffee in particular, is a stimulant. This opens you up to a number of side effects that will hamper your sleep, including:
Restlessness
Stomach cramps
Frequent urination
An elevated heart rate
Stay away from caffeine before falling asleep and you’ll do yourself a big favor.
5) Sleep Apnea
Sleep apnea is one of the leading causes of interrupted sleep. It affects about 12% of Americans, but about 80% of those suffering from sleep apnea go undiagnosed.
Common sleep apnea symptoms include:
Snoring — which can also be worsened by alcohol use
Excessive daytime fatigue
Trouble concentrating
Memory problems
Mood swings
Headaches
If you’re battling some of those symptoms throughout the night, you should look into getting tested for sleep apnea in the near future.
6) Your Diet
A midnight snack is one of life’s great joys, but don’t go overboard. Higher fat and calorie consumption at night has been shown to make it harder for men and women to reach REM sleep. Avoid big meals right before going to sleep.
7) Anxiety and Depression
Mental health is closely linked to sleep. If you’re suffering from anxiety or depression, it can lead to interruptions in your sleep pattern — making it increasingly difficult to reach REM sleep. Talk to your doctor if you believe you’re suffering from either of these health issues. A game plan to treat your anxiety or depression can help you get better sleep.
8) Exercise
Exercising is great. I would never tell my patients to shy away from a good workout. But depending on your body clock, it might not be the best idea for you to exercise an hour before calling it a night.
The best times to be physically active depend on your chronotype, so you’ll want to have that nailed down before figuring out your gym plan. If you don’t know yours, you can find out here: https://chronoquiz.com.
9) You Phone
Harvard researchers have found blue light — something that comes from our mobile screens — throws the body off its kilter. Instead of helping your mind and body wind down, your phone stimulates your brain and makes it tougher to get a good night’s sleep.
Of course, it can be fun to lay in bed and scroll through Instagram or read a quick article before calling it a night. But those minutes on your phone are costing you sleep later in the night. Try reading a book and limiting your phone time in the hour before you fall asleep. At minimum, wear blue light blocking glasses at least 90 minutes before bed.
10) Naps
A good 20-minute nap in the afternoon can help us tackle the rest of our day with an extra burst. I know it can be hard to wake up from a little siesta once you’re comfortable, but you don’t want to nap for too long, either. Taking too much of a break during the day can throw your body off and make it that much harder for you to fall asleep at night.
11) Insomnia
If you’re simply struggling to fall asleep at night, insomnia could be a factor. Insomnia can be amplified by several of the things we’ve just talked about, including alcohol use, excessive napping and a poor sleep environment. If insomnia is persistent you should visit a sleep specialist to determine the cause.
If your bed isn’t helping you fall asleep, be sure to look at the Luma Sleep Hybrid Topper in my holiday gift guide. The topper not only makes your bed immediately more comfortable, but also helps with your body temperature regulation. This could be a good first step towards getting your sleep pattern back on track.
I hope that this holiday season and every season, you’ll be able to look back on these 11 common reasons we have difficulty sleeping and find a solution that works for you.
Sweet dreams and happy holidays!
Dr. Michael Breus
The post 11 Reasons You Can’t Sleep And Are Struggling to Stay Asleep appeared first on Your Guide to Better Sleep.
from Your Guide to Better Sleep https://thesleepdoctor.com/2019/12/21/11-reasons-you-cant-sleep/
from Elly Mackay - Feed https://www.ellymackay.com/2019/12/22/11-reasons-you-cant-sleep-and-are-struggling-to-stay-asleep/
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20 Weight Loss Secrets Better Than Counting Calories
New Post has been published on https://www.firsthealthfitness.com/weight-loss/20-weight-loss-secrets-better-than-counting-calories.html
20 Weight Loss Secrets Better Than Counting Calories
You should always watch what you eat if you want to maintain a flat tummy and lose weight.
You are always told to burn more calories than you consume to get rid of belly fat, but weight loss is not just about that.
You really don’t have to concentrate on calories too much; after all, they make eating fun.
There are some ways you can ensure you aren’t hungry and still burn body fat while losing pounds.
Below are tips on how to satisfy your hunger pangs while you drop weight and live a more healthy life.
1. Cook Your Own Meals
Preparing your own meals allows you to control the number of calories from home, unlike at the restaurant where everyone cares about the bills and not your weight loss journey.
There are a variety of meals you can prepare to save over 600 calories compared to having the same meals at restaurants.
Some good examples are yogurt parfait with berries for breakfast, avocado toast with fried egg and tomato for lunch, hummus with cucumbers and carrots as snacks, veggies, and roasted chicken and quinoa for dinner.
On average, you can consume 137 fewer calories and 16 fewer grams of sugar at home than you regularly consume at restaurants.
2. Start the Day with 2 Glasses of Water
You already know the importance of H2O to your body.
Every activity in your body involves water including flushing out wastes and metabolism.
Moreover, the lack of enough water in your system may lead to dehydration, and it impacts your energy levels.
Jumpstart your day with two glasses of this natural fluid to boost your energy levels. A hydrated body is always active and burns more calories.
3. Snack Whenever You Feel Like
Contrary to what has been said before, eating the right snacks at day time is one of the eating habits to help shrink your waistline.
According to a study, people who eat low-sugar, high protein snacks shed more body weight.
How do snacks help? It depends on the kind of snacks you are consuming.
The appropriate ones are the high protein snacks, and they help to maintain blood sugar levels.
Perfect blood sugar levels prevent your brain from receiving hunger signals that lead to consuming high-energy foods after you feel like you’re starving.
4. Fill Your Recipes with Fiber
For the love you have for your body, foods with fiber are as essential to your body as jet fuel to a Roll’s Royce engine.
Fiber keeps you full for longer so that you can concentrate on your job, cleans out your bowels, and feeds the helpful bacteria living in your gut.
When that bacteria feed on soluble fiber, they turn them into inflammatory fatty acids which trigger your fat genes to shut and allow your body to lose some pounds or kilos without even bothering about calories.
Besides, if your gut had been damaged by high-sugar diet and high saturated fat, fiber will help mend it off.
5. Also, Add Proteins
Rather than incorporating calories in your meals, eat more proteins including possibly one of your favorites, pasta.
Protein is a slow-digesting micronutrient that boosts your metabolism while it decreases appetite and squashes cravings.
If you love smoothies, there are many protein powders in stores and supermarkets that you can mix with your fruit pulps whenever you are making those healthy beverages.
Smoothies packed with protein can nourish your calorie-burning muscles.
6. Apply the 80-20 Rule on Your Diet
Creating healthy habits can take time, and you will make some errors while watching your weight.
An unhealthy snack at one time is not bad.
The idea is to eat 80 percent healthy food and leave the 20 percent for those unnecessary but delicious treats.
For every five meals, four should be healthy and one should be food treats.
That way, you won’t feel like you messed your body by eating some McDonald’s fries or slices of pizza.
Just don’t consume too much and you can alternatively make those fries or pizza at home.
Remember that restaurant food is filled with calories.
7. Don’t Award Yourself with Certain Foods
It’s good to be proud of your small wins and achievements, including achieving weight-loss milestones and getting that perfect body that you always dreamed off.
You can also reward yourself, but don’t do that with fatty and sugary treats or else you will triggering your body to gain weight again.
You can alternatively reward yourself by catching a movie at the theater, going to the beauty spur to get a manicure, or checking into a fitness class.
The moment you start fighting food urges, your lifestyle will change, and you will be able to eat healthily.
8. Get Enough Rest
Feeling full doesn’t depend on how much food you consumed alone.
It also depends on how much sleep you get every day.
Failing to get enough sleep leads to increased levels of hunger causing a hormone known as ghrelin and lowers the level of hormone leptin resulting in hunger pangs.
Your sleep-deprived body will continue craving for more food, and you end up munching calories even when you aren’t hungry at all.
Catch some good rest in the evening after taking your main meal to stay full for longer.
9. Maintain an Exercise Regimen
Sticking to one weight maintenance plan is as important as sticking to a balanced diet.
According to a study performed by the University of Alabama, clinging to a single exercising program might be the key to maintaining the weight you have.
The research indicated that people who stopped working out after achieving their weight goals would experience a dip in their metabolism while their counterparts who continued to work out for only forty minutes and thrice a week would fry their calories and still maintain their weight.
Add cardio and resistance training to your routine and use them to stimulate muscle growth and burn more calories.
10. Keep Your Heart Beating
Your heart keeps beating all the time and stopping is a matter of life and death.
Sometimes your work, travel, and spending time with kids can make you too busy that you miss your workout routine.
It’s not the end of the world as long as you boost your heart rate and make your blood pump faster by taking the stairs instead of the escalator and elevator.
According to a study, walking for a minute twice in one hour levels your blood sugar and lowers the insulin levels in overweight people.
You don’t have to hit the gym every time but when you have some free time.
11. Create a Plan
Without a plan, you will end up making poor diet decisions.
Also, figuring what you will have for breakfast, lunch, or dinner when you have no plan can make you prefer to eat cookies or a hot dog.
Planning your meals helps you to remove unnecessary calories and control what goes into your mouth.
List a few go-to meals that have fewer calories, and you can eat consistently and switch the plan every month.
12. Eat Slowly Without Distractions
The simplest way to avoid overeating is eating with intention! Whenever we are eating the food’s first stop is in the stomach.
Your stomach has stretch receptors that notify the brain that you are full when it can’t hold any more food.
It takes almost 20 minutes for the brain to get the signal and so you should minimize distractions to prevent you from overeating.
13. Limit Added Sugar
Limiting products with too much-added sugars can be one of the ways to cut calories.
Sugary foods have almost no nutrients, and they leave you hungry most of the time and tempt you to overeat.
Added sugars can also affect your insulin response and lead to obesity, insulin resistance, and even worst, type II diabetes.
Instead of cookies, eat fresh fruit.
Drink your coffee black, and instead of taking juices, blend smoothies.
14. Pay Attention to Your Body
Do you take dairy products and feel congested or eat grains and you feel bloated?
Most people brush off such issues and continue with their routine, but it’s not something you should ignore.
In most cases, such reactions could be signs of food intolerance or allergy which would make your immune system weak, contribute to increased inflammation, and trigger weight gain.
Learn to pay attention to your body and observe if there are any discomforts.
15. Make Healthy Eating a Norm
If you ever cared to check how many calories you eat, you will like you are eating too much and you the food guilt you feel inside disturbs you.
Switch to healthy eating to maintain those pounds or kilos.
Don’t subject yourself to a diet, but organize your diet around a healthy life.
You will start enjoying enough sleep, working out, and also have fun cooking at home.
Once you start maintaining a healthy diet, you will be glad that you made that decision.
16. Take a Deep Breath
When you are stressed out, and you feel like your life is a mess, take a deep breath and relax.
Whenever you are stressed out, your body produces a hormone known as cortisol.
Cortisol is the hormone that alerts your body about impending danger and lowers your blood-glucose levels.
This hormone forces your body to store fat and send hunger signals to your brain.
That means you will start craving for food even when your stomach is full.
17. Go Meatless at Least Once a Week
Or you can as well become a vegan.
It’s recommended.
However, you can still enjoy the benefits of veggies even without taking meat out of your diet.
According to a study, people who eat less meat have lower chances of suffering from obesity, sport lower BMI, and they also have low body fat levels.
We aren’t insinuating that you should completely abandon your meat, but it’s just that they tend to fill you up before you can eat all the veggies in your plate.
Vegetables are known to fight fat.
18. Avoid Drinking Calories
The likes of soda, milkshakes, bottled coffees and teas, those are the kind of drinks to avoid.
The calories in the sugary beverages usually have no other nutrients, and they leave you hungry.
According to research, the energy obtained from beverages has less impact than that of solid foods.
It’s better to go for solid food and reap their health benefits.
19. Make Your Own Salad Dressings
Many salads have many dressings and are filled with more sugar and less chocolate syrup.
While making your own salad dressings, you can use your own ingredients.
Go to your nearest store and grab a bottle of virgin olive oil and combine it with apple cider vinegar, Dijon mustard, and pepper.
Olive oil helps to lower blood pressure while apple cider vinegar is a detoxifying liquid.
20. Hide The Junk
Maybe the reason you are eating that junk food is because you see it.
Get all those kind of foods from your kitchen’s clearest points.
Keeping those vices on kitchen counters will tempt you to forget your goal.
Hide your stash in opaque containers and hind them behind the healthier snacks to always remember your goals whenever you feel like eating some junk food.
Closing Remarks
To achieve that weight and curvaceous look, you have to be patient, eat healthy food, exercise, and avoid impulse eating, especially foods with added sugars.
Cutting on carbs is not a bad decision, but there are a lot more things you have to do to achieve your goal.
Refer to the tips above whenever you feel like you aren’t approaching your goal in the right way.
A Secret ‘Carb Trick’ That Burns Up To 1 Pound Per Day
If you’re like most women trying to lose weight… you diet, you count calories, you tear up the treadmill, and… nothing.
That’s how 40-year-old Sarah Donovan, an overweight mother with prediabetes was feeling…
She did “everything right” and never lost an inch.
Until she stumbled on this strange “carb-pairing” trick and burned away an unheard of 22lbs pounds in just 13 days.
And because of this one simple shift in her eating, she shed pounds and inches from her body without starving herself and without a lick of exercise!
With the same “carb-pairing” trick Sarah dropped a total of 37lbs in the FIRST month and she shocked her doctor by completely reversing ALL pre-diabetes symptoms!
If you’re a woman over the age of 25 who wants to reclaim her life inside the body she DESERVES, you should check it out for yourself.
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8 Quick Tips for a Fast Weight Loss
The best stuff in life is easy to get a grasp on. Well, either that, or it can be put into simple words and understood by any person disregarding age, education or any other factor. General information should be human-friendly and freely available to the public, especially if it’s related to a common and treatable problem.
Keep Your Calorie Count Clear:
Ultimately, losing weight is all about burning more calories than you intake. Everything else (proteins / fat / carbohydrates ratio, etc.) is also important, but secondary to the calorie matter. And don’t be confident of your memory on the subject – it’s always better to have a written calorie journal, be it digital or not. In such a way you can not only follow up your daily calorie intake, but also keep track of planned meals, never forget to buy something from your shopping list – and effectively keep track of the eating regime you’re following.
If calorie count is crucial for your weight loss, not only your calorie intake level counts, but also the rate on which you use these calories up. Start visiting a gym or jogging in the mornings, lift some weights at home or become a member of a swimming club – everything is great. Any physical activity will help you to control your weight, and the more regular and timely your regime is – the more noticeable the impact on your weight will be. Remember that cardio exercises are preferable, but they work correctly only when you reach a certain elevated heart rate level and stay on it for a while.
Drink plenty of water:
Ok, so here’s the deal. Calories are a rough equivalent of energy, right? And what is energy usually used for? Among other stuff, you need energy to keep yourself warm. Now imagine what happens when you drink something. The liquid ingested will be warmed up to equal your body temperature – and this needs energy to be done. In other words, every time you drink a glass of water, you’ll be using a certain amount of calories to warm it up from roughly 22o to 37o. A certain study indicates that this may boost your metabolism by up to 30% (Some FAQ’s on topic). And just in case you’re thinking of drinking icy-cold water – don’t do it. Yes, it may increase your metabolism even more, but such a stressful temperature will be harmful to your stomach and make it more susceptible to certain diseases by lowering its immunity.
Avoid processed food, when possible:
The whole meaning behind food processing is to make digestion easier for your body, so it can receive its portion of nutrients and energy without having to waste a lot of calories in order to do so. In other words, the more processed your meal is, the more calories you’ll get. On the contrary, fresh, whole, single-ingredient food is harder to digest – therefore less calorific and much more filling. Sadly, nowadays highly processed food (“ready-to-eat” and “ready-to-heat” meals) still remain a great part of the modern eating regime of most Americans.
An identical calorie count does NOT mean identical level of satiation: stick to products with a higher SI:
SI stands for Satiating Index – a measurable equivalent of how long a certain food will keep you satiated (“not hungry”). In an interesting study by some bright minds at the University of Sidney, the authors stated that ingredients with a higher amount of water, proteins and fibers can make you feel more satiated for longer – still taking the same amount of calories.
Drink coffee and green tea, eat some spicy food:
Multiple studies throughout the last years have shown that caffeine (present in both coffee and tea, especially green tea) can boost your metabolism significantly, thus helping you to burn calories and help you to lose weight. Same counts for capsaicin – the active substance present in chili peppers. That’s one of the reasons coffee and tea are allowed in any quantities even during some of the most strict weight loss programs – like the hCG diet, for example, and others as well.
Remember that fibers are your friends:
Foods with a high amount of fibers keep you satiated while being not very calorific. Moreover, fibers delay stomach emptying – and moderately increase the passage speed of food through your intestines. What’s an also great, fiber-rich ingredients are usually stuffed with great vitamins and minerals too – take seeds for an example, try them out and see their effect.
Get enough sleep:
While some people think that sleeping and slacking off is roughly the same and are pointless for weight loss, they are SO wrong. One of the main points in a healthy sleeping regime is that you give your body the time necessary to adjust its inner processes towards a healthier living (recent study). Sleep deprivation and irregular sleep tend to distort appetite fluctuations and metabolism rates, making you more susceptible to excess weight and obesity.
Of course, this list of quick tips is, well, just a quick start. The world of nutrition, weight control and healthy living in general is huge, with massive amounts of information of all sorts. People dedicate all their lives to explore and study all the subtleties of metabolic processes in your organism, the value of different foods for your body and the impact they may impose. Dozens of new diets are created every year, countless workout regimes are developed, researched and implemented. And, actually, this is great because there isn’t something like a “universal remedy” for health-related issues, excess weight and obesity included. Every human being is unique and demands a personalized approach therefore what’s good for ones may not work for others at all.
But if you don’t plan to be a professional in the field, just the basics are enough to ensure a healthy living. So follow up these quick tips – and start losing weight right now!
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7498104
http://www.forbes.com/sites/melaniehaiken/2013/11/21/easiest-weight-loss-tip-ever-change-your-sleep-schedule/#3cae3609194a
https://www.quora.com/Will-drinking-warm-water-after-meals-help-in-weight-loss
Gracy, a dedicated and qualified nutritionist with over six years of experience in the Indian food industry, currently blogging at Besthcgdropswebsite.com. She has done MSc Degree in Human Nutrition at Chinmaya degree College(BHEL) in Haridwar, Uttarakhand. You can reach her anytime if you have any questions regarding this guest post.
Source
http://www.healthable.org/8-quick-tips-for-a-fast-weight-loss/
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