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neosummer · 5 years

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Vindicated

A/n: Hey y'all this is the first angst post for this blog, it's a short scenario with our manadarin boii. Hope ya enjoy!

Pairing: LucasxReader

Angst like there's no tomorrow. Eventual fluff

"Okay, I know it may be too much to ask at this moment. But will you please get your shits together?!" Yukhei haven't raised his voice on you ever. Not when you are being too reckless with your driving, not when you are excessively punching him whenever you get excited with a Marvel related stuff. Not when you lost his keys to his apartment. He thought he will never, you thought so as well. However, here you are left speechless after hearing his booming voice. A subtle pain pinching your chest because you can't believe Yukhei just used those words and tone on you. Especially now that you are having one of your worst breakdown. His eyes were intense and his demeanor-commanding as oppose to his usual easy going and goofy mood. Yukhei is just staring down at you who's now sitting on your crumpled bed, shocked still. You wiped away your tears although your still hiccuping you did what he told you to do. You are now calm and so is he. "I didn't mean to scare you" He sat beside you, hands clasped and eyes closed. You know that he's about to say something serious and honest with those movements. He opened his eyes and you saw it glistening but he rubbed it in a way that wouldn't look like he's wiping the tears forming "We've known each other for so long and deeply. I don't think going soft and easy on you will help this case y/n. You've been self pitying a lot and I can't do the same for you" you fight back the tears, but it felt like you are fighting the inevitable. "I just don't know what happened dude, I lost myself and I can't seem to find the old me" Yukhei stretched the sleeves of his grey pullovers and used it to wipe the stubborn tears rolling down you cheeks. "You will find her, I'm sure. You don't have to rush it. But please, cut yourself some slack. You see, you have developed eating disorder because of that punishment concept you created for yourself" you dragged yourself to this mess believing that this is the best way to motivate and push you to your limits. You're a scholar, dean's lister, and probably the most competitive student in the University. So when you started getting lower grades and fail some exams you thought one of your worst nightmare had already come and you brought it all upon yourself. You nodded to his words, your hiccups is still there so Yukhei stood and poured water on your Thor tumbler. "Here you go" His voice is softer, yet still firm. "Thanks" you gulped from the tumbler and somehow your calmer now that Yukhei is rubbing your back. "Honestly, y/n you shouldn't have let that boy get the best of you" See, all your problems escalated when you started dating that guy from another uni. He was your 'indie boy' dream. You both shared the same movie enthusiasm and music preference. You like to watch French films and hipster movies with him and you two shared playlist with songs consisting of anti-mainstream music. He was sweet and made you feel the heroine in your own movie. He'd make you poems and send flowers to your doorstep with notes. The guy even made you a montage video of yourself with your favorite song as the bgm. You are so in love, he was your first boyfriend. But the thing is, the guy seems to have some unhealthy emotional baggage. And you, being the emphatic girl you have always been thought that somehow you can fix him. Not knowing that you will be the one left more devastated. You lagged on your homework and missed some meetings with your group mates just so you can spend more time with the guy. You knew, being with him will make him happier and drop his emotional baggage. But the more you spend time with him the more things get worse. The guy resorted into using illegal substances to cope up with his mental health issues and unknowingly your own mental health deteriorated in return. He had treated you differently then, he became mean and hard to deal with. He caused you too much pain but you persisted because of 'love'. You tried harder to 'fix' him but your relationship took a toll on it together with your studies. Yukhei was the only one who kept reminding you to cut down your unhealthy relationship with the guy. He kept reminding you but you never listened, until the guy broke up with you because he said that he wanted to find himself. Yukhei thought it was bullshit, having a mental health issue doesn't give you the right to destroy someone else. It's been months since your break up but your still on the dark well, unable to lift yourself up. You hated yourself for giving too much love and affection and developed that self punishment concept. Your studies haven't bounce back as well and now, you won't be able to graduate on time.

This heartbreaking news came to you 6 hours ago and you've been crying non-stop on your apartment and thought of ending yourself had Yukhei not forced himself inside your apartment you will be on the newspaper headline by tomorrow. "I don't know if I can ever face my parents again Yukhei" he let out a heavy sigh and said "Of course you have to acknowledge your shortcomings. But I believe they will understand. Besides, graduating on time may be just a social construct right?" He had already switched to his usual self. You smiled although afflicted. "Exactly, they are so forgiving. I'm ashamed of myself Yukhei" he shook his head "I'm not sure if I can bounce back" he cupped your face "y/n remember that time when you saved from falling over a cliff when we were 9 and you asked me if I believe and trust in you? Didn’t I said yes? That I believe in you and your fighting spirit. I meant it. Every damn word, I mean it. I will always" his voice cracked a bit and you felt a sense of pride in you. A feeling that you haven't felt in a really long time. "I know, you are disappointed and broken but I'll always be here to help you pick yourself up" his thumb brushing your tears and his forehead close to yours made you feel safe and redeemed. "You're right, I should get my shits together" you both let out a short laugh while your foreheads are connected and now you two are crying. "Thank you for being real and not sugarcoating things with me" he pulled you into a tight embrace. "Things will never be the same. It doesn't get easier, but we must believe that it'll get better someday" you silently cry-smile because of the Yukhei's message to you. He had always been the realest person to you. Not sugarcoating and treating you as a fragile kid but at the same time making you feel safe and home. "You survived 7 semesters, another 1 1/2 surely, you will ace as well. And please remember that you don't have to prove yourself over and over again. Don't push yourself too much y/n" you're still tightly wrapped around him and all your frustrations seems to be washed out by his existence alone. But like what he said, it doesn't get easier so you promised yourself that you will survive this and learn the greatest lesson in your life. Yukhei released you but held your hands. "Besides, engineering is 5 years. That meant, we'll graduate together. You'll never be alone" he gave you a reassuring smile that made your heart melt in the most beautiful way. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind you ears. "We can do this okay?" He nudged your face with his nose and you felt like your heart would explode any minute. You were so overwhelmed by how much your bestfriend did to help you out from your worst state. "Together" you said. Yukhei pulled you once again in a tight and warm embrace "Together, no matter what" and left a soft peck in your forehead. After all this time, Yukhei was the one who believed in you the most and you are more that thankful to have him as your bestfriend. "I love you dude" he whispered and stroked your hair. He always says so but this time it felt different. You knew what he meant "You really are a true blooded engineer. You fancy building stuff. I'm a work in progress. Is that fine?" Your voice is shaky. You always knew that there is an unspoken tension between you two but you're afraid that it'll make things different for your friendship. But from all your experiences, and knowing that Yukhei was the one who still believes in you and cares so much about your well being after you messed up big-time made it easier for you to admit feelings that you hid deeply behind. "I don't mind at all, like you said I like building stuff and I would very much love to build a lot of new things with you, and a good building takes time to rise" Yukhei cannot hide his tears well and it is your turn to wipe it off

"Let's build us then" you whispered to him and this time there is no need to fix someone.

#nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct yukhei #wayv yukhei #wong yukhei #yukhei fluff #yukhei angst #lucas #nct lucas #nct lucas fluff #nct lucas angst

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lunapaper · 5 years

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Album Review: 'Dedicated' - Carly Rae Jepsen

It was always gonna be a difficult task trying to top the pop masterpiece that was E·MO·TION.

For once, an album lived up to the hype. Carly Rae Jepsen not only stepped out of the shadows of ‘Call Me Maybe,’ she completely obliterated the meme (truly an impossible task in this day and age), offering bold, effervescent bangers that still hold up: the unabashed schmaltz of ‘I Really Like You,’ the sax-fuelled ‘Run Away With Me,’ the beachy funk of ‘Boy Problems.’

That’s not to say her latest album Dedicated isn’t… well, dedicated in its quest to deliver a whole new set of bangers to love. ‘Now That I’ve Found You’ revels in sweet, cartoonish glee that, dare I say, is bigger, bolder and better than ‘I Really Like You’ ever was. ‘Julien’ provides a nice sugary dollop of regret filled with vocal squeaks and sleek, driven bass as Jepsen finds herself ‘all alone, on my own/Every single night, I play/When you coming home?’ Personal favourite ‘No Drug Like Me’ inhabits the same gauzy 80s pop groove as ‘All That’ right down to its dreamy falsetto, the Canadian singer bathing in the warm glow of youthful romance.

The Mariah-inspired ‘Automatically In Love’ sees ‘a girl undercover and a boy with the getaway’ in the grips of a dusky 90s pop daydream. The ska-tinged ‘I’ll Be Your Girl’ invites a potential lover to bed while confronting Jepsen’s jealous streak. ‘Want You In My Room’ delivers a funky Daft Punk-esque nudge and wink (complete with sax!), Jepsen promising ‘I'm like a lighthouse, I'm a reminder of where you going/I'm in your head now, from every second now/Is your love growing?’ while ‘Everything He Needs’ sees her purr ‘Electric, those lips can wear me out/Wild thing he's all mine,’ sampling Harry Nilsson’s ‘He Needs Me’ from the 1980 Popeye soundtrack to even sultrier, futuristic effect (Mickey Mouse personally signed off on the sample). Like much of E·MO·TION, Dedicated is thick with sexual tension as Jepsen embraces her sensuality with playfulness and ease.

Though it’s not all fluffy romance and sexy times on Dedicated. Jepsen also continues to assert her independence, celebrating self-love on the whirling euphoria of ‘Party For One,’ as well as doing her best to navigate through the heartbreak. On ‘The Sound,’ she admits ‘God, you make me so tired/Isn't this the vision that you wanted?’ as serene ocean synths wash over her. The twinkling nostalgia of ‘Right Words Wrong Time’ sees a long-distance relationship meet an inevitable end, while the recent ‘Too Much’ has Jepsen wondering ‘Am I bad for you?/'Cause I live for the fire, and the rain, and the drama, too, boy/And it feels like you never say what you want/And it feels like I can't get through, babe‘ as she tries to party away the pain.

Despite a weaker, less memorable second half, Dedicated is still a stellar follow-up. Like E·MO·TION, it isn’t destined to be a top-seller (it peaked at No.6 on the Billboard chart, which is still pretty respectable), but Carly Rae doesn’t need it. Like Robyn, Charli, Kacey Musgraves and Janelle Monae, she’s carved out a fine niche as a cult pop icon unburdened by mainstream pressures, who’s acknowledged on merit and beloved by indie heads, the LGBT+ community, Twitter stans and the hipster music critics who once turned their noses up at Jepsen now lavishing her with praise. The queen (of everything) already has a crown, thank you very much.

As Jepsen recently told the Guardian:

‘I’m 33, I’ve had years of putting my face on stuff. I want it to be purposeful. I’m not wanting to hide away but image can be everything for some artists, and I thought, God, I can’t compete with that. I feel more confident in my age and my weirdness now, and the fact that my fashion doesn’t really have anything to do with what’s fashionable.’

Though a little less bombastic than its predecessor, Dedicated refreshingly shows that, even in a world currently dominated by generic trap pop, Jepsen still refuses to compromise on her glossy, romantic vision.

- Bianca B.

#music #carly rae jepsen #dedicated #new #reviews #albums #Bianca B

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littlerose13writes · 6 years

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i don't know if you're still doing headcanons but i'd love to hear your thoughts on scorbus and music! what are their individual tastes? what do they agree on & what causes mild domestics between them? do either of them play any instruments, scor esp? i like to hc that albus definitely went through a period of trying to master you can call me al on the ukulele (poor scorpius' ears) but i haven't a clue about if scorpius is musically talented or not... anyways yeah any & all music scorbus hcs pls

Yeah I’m still doing them! :) (also sorry, I started answering this when you sent it and then I got interrupted and forgot to come back to it!)

Before Hogwarts and meeting Albus, the only music Scorpius had ever heard was the music his parents listened to. A lot of classical (Astoria loved ballet so there was a lot of that) and Draco was partial to a bit of opera. He was taught to play the piano growing up and he liked to make up his own words to the ‘songs’ he played when he was very little, Scorpius loved dancing with his parents in the ballroom of Malfoy Manor and he has many good memories linked to certain pieces of music

Albus grew up in a loud and crazy household where there was rarely a moment of quiet, the wireless was normally blasting in the kitchen and it wasn’t uncommon for an impromptu Potter family dance party to get the kids’ energy out before bed. Albus listened to all sorts and he really loved music! As he got older, he started to actually develop his own taste and he found he favoured indie rock and folk type stuff the most.

So when Albus came back to Hogwarts in his second year with his own music box, Scorpius was pretty much blown away by the stuff he would play. Albus’ music was nothing like he’d ever heard before, a mixture of wizard and muggle bands but all with a similar fairly upbeat vibe to them (think Walk The Moon) and Scorpius grew to really like it. When Albus got him his own music box for his birthday one year, at first he just put all of the same songs as Albus onto it, until he started to branch out and find things he liked by himself.

Although they had slightly different tastes, they were similar enough not to cause any arguments. That was until Lily introduced Scorpius to the kind of music she liked and Scorpius found he also rather liked the bright and upbeat tones of the pop music Lily was into. He wasn’t ashamed to admit he knew all the words to One Incantantion’s new album or that muggle singer Carly Rae Jepsen was really one of his favourites. And Albus hated it at first because he was a bit of a hipster when it came to music and this is so mainstream, how can you like this, Scor? but secretly he didn’t really mind at all and he found it adorable that Scorpius could never help but bob his head around and wiggle his fingers in a passable attempt at dancing

Albus started learning the guitar in the summer holidays between his fifth and sixth year; there had always been one in the house but none of the Potters could play it so Albus decided he would learn. Teddy taught him a bit and then he taught himself the rest and practised a lot. He knows he’s never going to be a professional or anything, and he doesn’t want to be, but he finds it relaxing to strum away and take some space for himself. Not many people have heard or even know Albus plays the guitar, it’s just something he does for himself, but Scorpius is one of only a few people who knows that Albus can actually sing quite well too, even if he only does it in the shower. Once, after they’d moved in together, Scorpius came home from work to find Albus playing his guitar and singing to himself, evidently not having noticed Scorpius was behind him. He just stood there enjoying it for a bit until Albus turned around, spotted him and turned bright red despite Scorpius’ insistence that he was wonderful.

It’s that which inspires Scorpius to get a piano for their new house and pick up his childhood skill. And just like both Albus and Scorpius grew up around music, so did their daughter, who loved nothing more than sitting between her dads while they played their instruments and sang to her :)

is this the fluffiest thing I’ve ever written?

Thanks for asking and sharing your headcanons too! I love the idea of Albus learning the ukelele :)Send me a character and a topic to talk about headcanons

#character + topic #scorbus #Scorpius malfoy #Albus Severus potter #music headcanon

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hjertetssunnegalskap1 · 6 years

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Thursday Thoughts

I am trying to post Skam stuff every day, and today it's Thursday, and I'm going to share a thought or two! I want to share a little something about Skam and character development, because that's one of the things I just love about Skam. Each season one character seems to have an issue, or something they have to learn how to deal with. I think that Isak has had perhaps the most impressive character development, but they all grow. In fact, a lot of the characters have to eat their own words in the end.

Eva starts out in season one with low self esteem, lonely and without friends, clinging to her boyfriend Jonas. She also struggles with feelings of guilt, because she has stolen Jonas from one of her best friends, and jealosy because she feels she can`t trust him. At one point she believes that everyone hates her, and that she needs to transfer to another school. She also realizes that she’s too dependent of Jonas. In the end of her season, she seems to forgive herself, and she grows stronger. In the end of season 4, she is surrounded by friends, and she’s independent.

Noora also grows as a character. She has a cool facade in the beginning. She appears to be kind of a control freak, who has strong opinions and high morals, and she seems a bit judgemental both to herself and to others.

In season 2 she have some tough experiences that she grows stronger from and she learns to look behind her prejudices. She takes a leap of faith and lets someone come near. In the end of season 3 and 4 she’s a lot more whole as a person, as she for instance can admit to the fact that she likes Justin Bieber (gasp).

The one character that impresses me the most when it comes to character developement, is Isak. He is also the one who needs to eat his words a lot.

Isak says to Eva in season 1 that “you are what you do.” That it says a lot about you if you choose to give up (and transfer to another school). He also says that Bakka students are media art wannabees. And who does he end up with? A slightly hipster-like student who has transferred from Bakka. Burn.

Yeah, Isak grows a lot. In season 1 he seems to be an insecure, but cocky little brat that tries to keep his buddy Jonas to himself. Of course, this is how he appears from Eva`s perspective, but there is probably a hint of truth in this. He is smart, and works hard at school. He can be a good friend and helpful in many ways, but he also tricks Eva, and basically breaks up two relationships in the process.

In the end of season 1, we see that he struggles, because of his family situation, and because he`s ashamed of what he has done to his friends. He possibly also struggles to come to terms with his sexuality.

In season two, we hardly see Isak, except that he makes out with Sara in the background. We learn that he tries to take revenge on the Yakuzza boys because they hurt Jonas. Via hints we understand that he gets enough of his family, and runs from home.

In the beginning of season 3, Isak has become a cocky charmer on the outside, while he still is as insecure on the inside. He seems to be making out with girls at parties, and wants to be cool, but is also clumsy and keeps a lot to himself. He struggles with his sexuality, but has prejudices against homosexuality.

He meets Even, that he gets drawn to, and he starts to accept that he is gay (I`m not gay, or maybe a little gay). This is a difficult process to him, but after good advise from the School “doctor”, he finally dares to talk to Jonas, and tell him about his feelings. This is a huge developement. Through support from his friends, he gradually learns to become more honest about his feelings and who he is. He comes out to his friends and dares to let himself fall in love with Even. He also decides to live real and "not fake".

Through Even Isak also learns to come over his fear and judgement towards mental illnesses. Magnus helps him to see the normality of Even`s disorder. Isak is a smart kid, he listens, and he learns. And he grows a lot. He choses Even, and choses to take one minute at the time. In season 4 he is stronger, happier, and although he still has his temper, he is in another place. He has to eat his own words one more time, though. He told Sana to meet the prejudice questions with answers, but then he got to be shouted at in the street himself. I believe that was a background for some of the stuff he wrote with Noora in the Sana-speech.

Sana also grows a lot as a character. In the beginning she has a tough mask on, which she probably needs, as she has been bullied and met prejudices for years. In season 1 she seems almost rude as she shushes on Vilde and bosses everyone around. Still, we can see that she does everything she can to protect her new friends.

In season 2 she's often the voice of reason. She's the one that suggests that Noora tries to understand and not judge. In season 3 she gets more dimensions as a character when she becomes Isak's friend and we learn that she knows Even. She tells Isak that hate doesn’t come from religion, but seems to forget it a little when she struggles herself in season 4. She also eats her own words. In season 3 she tells Isak that she hates when people fuck over their friends. Then, in season 4 she basically fucks over Isak. And Isak confronts her about it, too.

It takes some time, but she gradually learns that her friends are there for her, too, and not just the other way around. She learns that she can tell her friends what she struggles with. I think she also learns that being a part of the mainstream society (the russe buss) isn't the most important thing in the world, as long as you have your own group of losers.

I think I'll stop there, this became longer than I intended. If you have read all of this I'm kinda impressed, ahahaha. But maybe you have noticed some things I have forgotten here? Or maybe you have perceived things differently? I would love to know.

#skam #jova #evak #noorhelm #yousana #eva mohn #noora sætre #isak valtersen #sana bakkoush #my thoughts #thursday thoughts #skam post every day challenge

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wineanddinosaur · 3 years

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No, This Will Not Be the Summer of Piquette

This month, we’re heading outdoors with the best drinks for the backyard, beach, and beyond. In Take It Outside, we’re exploring our favorite local spots and far-flung destinations that make summer the ultimate season for elevated drinking.

Piquette has garnered no shortage of favorable coverage in drinks and lifestyle media over the past few years. Booze writers keen to spread the gospel on the fizzy, wine-adjacent beverage invariably celebrate its humble roots, low-ABV sessionability, and sustainable credentials. If headlines alone are anything to go by, readers might describe it as “White Claw for Wine Lovers,” or act astounded when friends haven’t heard of it because “Everyone Is Talking About Piquette.”

And so here we gather, like a Bernie Sanders meme, to once again talk about piquette. Only this time around, forgive me for veering from the beaten path to suggest that piquette is not, indeed, the “next big thing in wine” nor “your new drink for summer.”

Instead, I see piquette as an obscure style of wine that offers major appeal to a very specific group of drinkers, but one that will struggle to catch on among the majority. There’s nothing wrong with such a product existing, of course, but in the midst of such hyperbole, it’s important to also dig into the details that so often go overlooked within the current narrative.

What Is Piquette?

Before this sounds like a hatchet job, I should note that I quite like piquette. I enjoy its spritzy, funky profile, which lands on the palate like sour, cold-pressed apple juice livened with a splash of soda water. And for many drinkers, this acquired taste will present an enjoyable means of killing the summer heat while achieving a pleasant buzz.

As most explanations of the style begin, piquette is not actually wine. Instead, producers take the leftover skins, seeds, and stems (collectively known as pomace) from “traditional” winemaking, add water, and allow a second fermentation to take place over the course of a week or more. Many introduce some “real” wine into the equation to give the beverage more character. And after the liquid drains from the solid matter, some add a sugar-rich solution to begin a bubble-producing second fermentation when the liquid is packaged. All things told, the beverage arrives with a relatively gentle alcohol content that hovers somewhere between 4 and 9 percent ABV.

With roots dating back to the Roman Empire, piquette’s historical ties come from vineyard workers. While its thinner body and weaker concentration of flavor were not deemed worthy enough for paying customers, the drink’s quaffable ABV content provided something harvesters could enjoy over lunch before returning to the job with some semblance of efficiency.

Modern-day consumption certainly differs from its historical usage (we don’t expect many folks today are returning to field work after a few glasses of piquette), but the notion that piquette is a good low-ABV option does provoke some confusion. We cannot argue against 9 percent ABV being significantly lighter than a burly 15 percent-plus Napa Cab, but neither would we describe beer with such alcohol content as “sessionable.”

That said, piquette does provide an alternative to hard seltzer — an area where wine continues to fall short. If the growing ranks of canned wines match the White Claws of the world in terms of portability, drinking 375 milliliters of canned Sauvignon Blanc also equates to knocking back half a bottle on your own. And herein enters piquette: a lower- if not low-ABV option that allows imbibers to drink more reasonably, and perhaps more abundantly, while also maintaining an allegiance to the wine world.

But can piquette ever match the sheer popularity of White Claw — a beverage that racked up billions of dollars in sales last year alone? I don’t think so. Mainly because, although it’s produced from natural, arguably more righteous ingredients, piquette delivers a very specific flavor profile that will likely never appeal to mainstream palates.

Unpacking Piquette’s Popularity

Kristin Olszewski, co-founder of the canned wine company Nomadica, released her brand’s first piquette earlier this year. Though she’s “obsessed” with piquette, she concedes that the style might not be to everyone’s taste. “My fiancé said it’s his favorite thing that I’ve ever made, but he drinks a lot of skin-contact and natural wine,” she says. “When people write in and ask me what it tastes like, I try to emphasize: ‘think orange wine, think kombucha.'”

This flavor profile is intrinsic to piquette, borne out of its specific production process, as Todd Cavallo of New York’s Wild Arc Farms explained to me. (Cavallo and Wild Arc are often cited as the pioneers who reintroduced drinkers to piquette with the winery’s inaugural release in 2016.)

When water is added to pomace, the solution’s pH rises and allows certain microbes and bacteria to thrive, Cavallo says. This results in esoteric flavors that go beyond those described by educational wine bodies as “primary” fruit notes.

“We’ve got stuff in there that a conventional winemaker would scoff at and say, ‘That’s a ruined product, throw it down the drain,’” Cavallo says. “In our case, we think this is what makes piquette interesting — it gives it character and moves it away from just being watery wine.”

Cavallo and Olszewski agree that this blend of factors — piquette’s minimal-intervention production, and the drink’s funky flavor profile — have led to it becoming mainly embraced by natural wine drinkers. The three major markets for Nomadica’s piquette, for example, have so far been New York, California, and the Pacific Northwest.

As the founder and president of CoolVines, a retailer with four locations across New Jersey that cater to a “hipster-y” crowd, Mark Censits has noticed a similar phenomenon. “Pet-nat drinkers were the first crowd to take this up,” Censits says. “But it also appeals to cider and saison beer drinkers, because of the taste profile.”

Where Censits typically stocks around 12 to 15 pet-nats (out of 450 or so total wines), his stores usually only offer two or three piquettes. He feels this is enough to satisfy demand, and enough to represent the range of styles on offer in the category. “It’s a micro trend, for sure,” Censits adds. “It’s not sweeping the nation in some all-powerful kind of way.”

Granted, for piquette to sweep the nation, there would need to be a significant supply available for purchase. This doesn’t seem to be the case, as things stand.

“To my knowledge and from my research, there are less than 20 piquette SKUs available from distributors (as opposed to directly from wineries) in New York City,” Scott Rosenbaum, a former wine and spirits distribution professional and founder of Ah So Insights, writes via email. “Compare this to more than 80 meads, more than 350 orange wines, and more than 350 pet-nats, we are in the earliest part of the ‘innovator’ stage — not even the ‘early adopter’ stage.”

From a sales and search-data perspective, the results don’t scream ubiquity, either. When I reached out to the data firm Nielsen to learn about off-premise piquette sales, I was told the firm “doesn’t track” this type of product — a response I’ve never received when reporting on sales of rosé, hard seltzer, or RTD cocktails. Google search data for the term “piquette” also fails to show any significant spike over the last five years. White Claw this is not.

The Sustainability of Piquette

Even if its appeal does appear limited to the natural wine crowd, none can argue with piquette’s sustainable credentials. Or can they?

The thinking, and popular narrative, is simple enough: Piquette is made from materials that would normally be thrown out — therefore, it’s less wasteful. Yet, what happens to the pomace and leftover organic materials after piquette becomes ready for bottling? The very same thing that would have happened if the producer opted not to make piquette.

For most small and independent producers, that means tipping the pomace onto the compost heap or spreading it in the vineyard, David E. Block, a professor at U.C. Davis’s Department of Viticulture and Enology, explains. Larger-scale wineries with more pomace to offload may instead turn to companies that can isolate specific compounds and transform them into valuable bi-products, such as cooking oils.

Initially, I reached out to Block and U.C. Davis to learn whether producing a new beverage from so-called waste was indeed a sustainable practice, given that it also requires new packaging and distribution via vehicles running on fossil fuels. Ultimately, Block says that “it’s certainly not clear” whether making piquette is more sustainable than composting or selling pomace.

Yet he does stress that in certain regions, the need for water — both for piquette’s base and also for cleaning winemaking equipment — could lead its production to becoming unsustainable. (And to backtrack briefly to the style’s popularity, Block also admitted that when he received my interview request, he had to Google what piquette was, having not previously heard of it.)

The complex nature of sustainability is not a realm populated solely by piquette. Indeed, the very definition of the word is relative and reliant on a number of producer-specific variables. Yet, Wild Arc’s Cavallo does a great job of approaching the topic in his case with admirable nuance.

Cavallo describes how making piquette brings a higher yield of product per acre of vineyard farmed. If each acre of vineyard yields two tons of grapes, Cavallo can produce 50 cases of wine. But by also making piquette, he can sell up to 25 cases of extra “wine.” From a farming standpoint, the inputs — fuel, labor, spray material, etc. — remain the same, but with more product on offer, the average environmental impact of each bottle decreases.

“Part of our overarching goal is to change the narrative around wine-growing in New York State and to move people away from herbicide and towards non-synthetic interventions in the vineyard,” Cavallo says.

The media attention he’s garnered for pioneering piquette certainly brings the opportunity to have these conversations on a larger stage. Whether or not drinks writers choose to dig into this angle of Wild Arc’s production is another story. (My words, not Cavallo’s, for the record.)

Finally, there are financial advantages of piquette that deserve exploration, despite this being a field that doesn’t always gain much attention. Maybe that’s because dollars and cents often seem at odds with our romantic vision of wine, but to my mind, this is one area where we can all unequivocally endorse this product.

By producing and selling piquette, Cavallo ensures that all of his products remain affordable. His wines retail for $25 max, while he tries to sell his piquettes for as little as is financially feasible — around $15 per bottle.

On this front, Nomadica’s Olszewski also agrees: “Nobody works in wine to get rich,” she says, hinting at an age-old adage. “You work in it because it’s your passion and it’s what you dream about. But it’s incredibly difficult to make a living in the wine industry.”

Bubbles Beyond Effervescence

With hot vax summer in full swing, it seems safe to conclude that 2021 will not be the year piquette dethrones White Claw or even becomes the next pet-nat. It’s OK to admit that, and doing so shouldn’t take away from the beverage’s benefits: Though probably not for everyone’s palate, the style does promise to please natural wine drinkers. And while environmental sustainability isn’t guaranteed, piquette certainly satisfies an economic definition of the concept.

Sadly, these messages get lost in the media hoopla — a cloud of smoke that consistently fails to recognize piquette’s obscurity. The fact remains that most drinkers have never heard of it; only a fraction of the wineries in the U.S. have experimented with the style; and even if more enter the fray, it’s highly unlikely that most consumers are ready for its challenging flavor profile — no matter how many write-ups place it as quaffable and refreshing.

Beyond that, I think there’s another layer to unpack here: Are we really to believe that piquette’s proponents will remain on the bandwagon if it does gain the popularity of rosé or hard seltzer? And do those same individuals even believe it can?

At best, this is likely another example of drinks industry professionals failing to look outside their bubble. Viewed through a more cynical lens, I’d say the celebration of piquette speaks to the exclusivity and elitism that plagues certain circles of the wine world — an intentional desire to make drinkers feel bad if they haven’t heard of something or, heaven forbid, don’t enjoy its complex profile.

Ultimately, “everyone” isn’t talking about piquette. This is simply another case of a few individuals speaking very loudly.

The article No, This Will Not Be the Summer of Piquette appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/piquette-natural-wine-trend/

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savvylark · 6 years

Text

Not Your Mama’s Hallmark Christmas Part 1

Thank you to the amazing @javistg being my beta and encouraging.

Katniss tends to be cynical about materialism, love, and marriage. Her friends have replaced the family she lost. So when Peeta needs help, her friends don’t need more than a strong arm to convince her. Katniss finds herself having a very different Christmas this year with the Mellark family, posing as Peeta’s girlfriend. What will change when this starts to look like a strange Hallmark movie?

Ready for part 2?

The air is thick with affection and laughter. Snow lightly falls, twinkling and tumbling outside the window, echoing the light-hearted mood inside.

The cynic in me can’t stand the jolly commercialism that the winter season brings. Despite all of this I can’t help but truly enjoy myself when we all get together, as if we are a real family celebrating Christmas.

Madge and Gale’s upscale apartment looks like West Elm meets Martha Stewart’s holiday catalog. Spread after spread of delicious and appropriately holiday themed hors d'oeuvre and snacks are on every surface. Wine and seasonal cocktails have been flowing.

“Hey! I don’t judge you with your choices in men!” Peeta’s tone is serious, but his expression says otherwise. He’s already 3 spiked eggnogs in, following tradition.

Finnick, Annie, and Thresh’s new girlfriend, Rue, are laughing around the table as I tease Peeta about his newest ex-girlfriend.

“I’m just saying, with a name like Glimmer? I mean, do shiny objects keep her occupied?” I ask Peeta.

He winces, but smiles.

“Is she confessing personal problems with that nickname?” I smirk, as the whole table erupts in laughter.

Gale and Madge are also pulled out of their own little world leaning near the wet bar.

Tresh joins us from the kitchen, shaking his head, amused at our usual banter. Thresh hands his girlfriend Rue another egg nog, placing a platter of food in front of us. Always playing host.

Peeta bites his lip to repress his laughter. Ugh, I love and hate when he does that.

He looks in my eyes and jabs back at me.

“Oh, you’re one to talk. A nickname like Marvel didn’t give you any clue that you had found your very own Sheldon Cooper?” Peeta’s blue eyes twinkle with amusement.

I scowl, but my eyes reveal the laughter I’m stifling. “Who doesn’t like the Marvel movies? I should have known that meant he would be SO into comic books!” I snap back with equal amusement. “And Cosplay.”

We all chuckle, there’s nothing wrong with cosplay, it’s just not my scene at all. A hilariously poor match.

Peeta looks over at Johanna.

“Jo, what was that hipster guy’s name you dated, the one who never showered? Bright?”

Jo scowls, but her eyes prove she’s just as amused as we are. “Hey, don’t bash a hipster! You’re looking at one.” She winks and continues. “BLIGHT was his name!”

“I hated that guy!” Thresh adds.

If our own 6’6” gigantic teddy bear didn’t even like the guy, that’s saying something.

Johanna sighs. “He was a disaster! I appreciate a man who has an aversion to anything mainstream, but he used it as a reason to have zero responsibility for anything. Blight, I’m positive he made that name up! Rhymes with flight. That should have been my first clue.”

She goes on to tells about the time he asked a librarian if they had showers in their bathroom. That’s how Jo promptly left Blight, stranded at the library.

Chatter continues throughout the room.

Johanna leans her body towards Peeta and pokes his side. “Weelllll, Peeta-bread, what are you going to do for your mom’s insane Christmas bash for all the rich snobs without Sparkle for the holidays?” Johanna pries, emphasis on the ridiculous name.

Peeta makes a low growl noise in his throat and shakes his head, raking his fingers through his hair.

“That’s why you started dating Glitter in the first place, right? To get your mean ol’ mommy Mellark off your back?” She’s teasing, but some concern is evident in her expression. She cares. Prickly, sarcastic Johanna Mason has always had a soft spot for the people she loves.

Every one of us knows just how awful Peeta’s mother can be. Last year easily takes the cake as being the height of humiliation. Peeta brought up the topic of marriage to his heiress and mother-approved girlfriend of 4 years. Her rejection lead to their break up, and left him a broken man.

Right before a prominent holiday season.

Peeta’s mother was awful to him the entire visit for Christmas.

Peeta is determined to avoid a repeat.

All of us stayed nearby our college town, hours from our hometowns, for similar broken or dysfunctional family reasons.

Staying together also means having the second family we’ve found in our friends.

We all went to Panem State together at various points of arrival. Gale, Peeta, and Finnick had been in their 3rd year when Madge and I started.

Thresh and I were fast friends our freshman year and started regular pizza and movie nights with Madge and Gale, our pseudo family slowly fell into place.

Johanna was, and still is, my roommate who I met through Peeta and Finnick.

Sweet Rue, Thresh’s girlfriend, became an easy addition in the last year.

Peeta doesn’t answer Johanna’s question. The conversation steers to memorable Christmas parties and ugly sweaters.

Jo smirks at me. “Remember that time–,”

“Oh I remember! Johanna tricked me into wearing the ugliest sweater at a party that WASN’T an ugly sweater party. I thought I was going to win!” I grit my teeth and scowl at the memory.

“Three years in a row!” Johanna adds, to my humiliation.

I growl.

I’m met with amused smiles and laughter.

Finnick delves into a ridiculous story about a friend who was wearing Christmas lights in his ugly sweater and nearly landed him a Darwin Award by electrocution.

Finnick heroically kicked him in the chest to unplug the lights, but in doing so, he embedded broken bulbs in the guy’s chest.

That party ended with a trip to the ER treating the friend’s electrocution and stitches.

The details he adds, no one could make up.

Finnick’s knack for acquiring stories is phenomenal. We’re all in stitches, laughing until our sides hurt.

“Well, Peet, if you have to go to the party alone, at least Annie and I will be there to take some of the pressure off,” Finnick says to his best friend as Annie hands him his coat.

Annie’s parents are old friends of the Mellarks, so she’s been to their parties since childhood and is well acquainted with how important appearances are, and the pressure Mrs. Mellark puts on her youngest son.

Behind them is Rue, also carrying 2 coats.

Thresh lifts me into his arms in his signature crushing hug.

Rue giggles as I make a show of gasping for air.

The couples continue to exchange their goodbyes, and ‘Merry Christmases’ handing each of us a present and head out of Madge and Gale’s apartment.

I watch the couples head to the stairs, hand in hand.

Rue’s warm brown eyes rarely leave Thresh’s face. She smiles softly as he talks to her with such affection. The look in his eyes says Rue is everything.

I know my friend. He’s in love.

Annie and Finnick are more playful.

Annie blushes as Finnick whispers in her ear then kisses her cheek. She’s pushes him away. Bumps his shoulder a little while their fingers remain entwined. Annie’s giggle is infectious and echoes through the stairwell. Again, it’s the look Finnick has in his eyes that melts my Grinchly heart. Annie holds his heart for eternity.

Then, it hits me.

Maybe I do want that some day?

I’ve never admitted it to myself.

Everyone knows I have scoffed at love and marriage, probably since the very first boy that caught my eye when I was 16.

But people change.

I shrug my shoulders and shut the apartment door, and those thoughts.

Jo has clearly had too many drinks at this point, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear. “I would definitely help you out if I wasn’t set on getting my ass to the beach. I just can’t stand family gatherings. And, as fun as it would be to piss your mom off, I think you’re hoping for someone to take away the attention rather than direct more to you, amiright??” she pauses and shoves Peeta. “I TOLD YOU, ask her!” Johanna whisper-yells in her drunken state.

Peeta’s face is red.

I’m pretty sure at one point Jo skipped the eggnog and has been downing the hard stuff straight.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

I purse my lips and try to think of who ‘her’ she’s referring to.

I’ve also never understood why his parents make this party such a big deal, but my own parents were very casual about gatherings.

When I had parents anyway.

Peeta has stressed about this Christmas party every year, but it was after he graduated that he made a point to always bring a girl.

For his mother’s sake.

Peeta looks sheepish, sighs and rubs the back of his neck. Then he turns to me.

Wait, me?

Oh. no.

I’ve seen this hallmark movie. I’m more of a Grinch character myself.

Okay, calm down, it’s just Peeta. Still, I start shaking my head.

Madge gives me this mad-scientist look, raises her eyebrows and I can see her wheels turning now.

She’s gone into planner-mode.

I know Madge is feeling guilty she can’t be there for her cousin Peeta.

Madge typically attends her Aunt and Uncle’s annual holiday party in Merchant. Had she not organized a charity event for childhood cancer that same weekend she would be. It’s hard to keep up with her event planning, and it’s busiest around the holidays and wedding season.

Also, being a senator’s daughter has expectations of it’s own. There are other obligations that she needs to attend.

I would hate to have to deal with the expectations and pressure Madge has, which she handles with such grace.

I imagine when Gale does finally pop the question with that ring burning a hole in his pocket the event itself is going to be insane, and the planning will be flawless.

Madge is very good at what she does.

I dart back and grab another drink while Madge joins Jo and Peeta to conspire.

I groan.

“So Gale, do you have any interesting plans coming up?” I elbow my best friend playfully.

I have been teasing him for months about asking Madge that daunting, er, I mean magical question.

I helped Gale pick out the near-colorless solitaire in a rose-gold setting, and I learned more than I ever wanted to about engagement rings that day.

Diamonds haunted the back of my eyelids for days.

Our cool-calm-and-collected Gale has been a little smug about revealing any engagement plans. Yet he turns into a giddy kid on Christmas morning anytime I mention, or raise my eyebrows in a silent question.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Gale teases back, but can’t keep the gigantic grin off his face.

“Well I better be the first one to hear it!” I say with a wink.

Gale rolls his eyes, laughs, but nods.

We know I will.

It’s actually contagious, to see my best friend so in love, I’m almost giddy with him.

Weird.

So maybe I’m not so allergic to happy endings either.

“Katniss!! We need your help!” Madge says in a sing-songy voice.

I grimace, let out a deep sigh and give Gale a pleading look.

He just shrugs.

Great. No allies here.

And so begins my acting career as Peeta Mellark’s girlfriend for the Holidays with his family.

Madge starts jotting down notes. She lists a hair salon, a wax center, a list of clothing, make up, shoes. Asking Peeta which family members will be in town for the week. Other tentative events –all of which made my childhood Christmases as a poor girl from the wrong side of town sound so meagre.

I’m already a fish out of water.

“I don’t, I don’t even know how–,” I stammer.

Madge interrupts,“Oh, nonsense! I’ll teach you everything, we have time to prepare. Just be yourself, Katniss. You’ve always had a calming effect on Peeta. He needs you and I can’t be there. Everything will be fine, Katniss!”

Jo is finding all of this amusing. “Hey, don’t be brainless! You get to pretend to be a different version of yourself. Haven’t you ever wondered what it would have been like to have more growing up? I have! This could be fun!” Johanna is surprisingly convincing for how drunk she is.

I have to admit, all the things Madge is talking about would be an experience, and I’m not alone. I’ll be with our friend Peeta the whole time.

Now I’m looking at Madge, then Peeta, and back.

“Can we establish a safe word? When it’s too much and I need an escape? I could say ‘do you want to build a snowman?’ Instead of making a run for it.” I try to make light of it but I’m a known flight risk. We all understand this.

“Absolutely, I can help you with an escape to a quiet place, just say so.” Peeta reassures me.

I hesitate and fiddle with my hands.

“All the Mellark baked goods will be on tap the whole week,” he adds.

I look sceptical. “If we’re doing this, we’re going to make it fun. Promise?” I add.

“I promise!” Peeta replies.

“Also, you’re so lucky Prim is off the grid, helping with medical needs from the hurricanes!” I tease. He knows I would never pick this over a Christmas with my sister.

I’m also keeping his little crisis in perspective, this isn’t a real crisis at all.

“Fine. I’ll do it,” I say with a huff.

Johanna and Madge cheer.

Gale is laughing at my predicament.

“You’re the best, Everdeen!” Peeta wraps me up in a tight full body hug.

I stiffen a little but don’t pull away.

I’m just not much for hugging, but I’ve tried to get used to Peeta’s, Thresh’s and, well, probably half our friends touchy, affectionate tendencies.Especially after the alcohol is flowing.

It surprises me that of all our friends, it’s actually Peeta and Annie whose touchy tendencies turn from affection to questionable around me after a few drinks.

Peeta keeps his body flush to mine and this hug is turning not so innocent.

I shove him back playfully. I have stories.

“Easy tiger! That reminds me. Let’s work through some rules? I think for all intents and purposes we should appear to be dating exclusively, just out of respect for each other. Try to keep excessive flirting with the ladies to a minimum?” I ask of Peeta.

“Noted. Only flirt with you.” Peeta grins widely and emphasizes you with his finger to my nose.

I roll my eyes.

“What about you, Peeta? Ground rules for your lovely girlfriend?” I ask with a sarcastic tone, batting my eyes in mock flirtation.

Jo smirks.

Madge is busy in thought.

Gale is cleaning up.

“Oh um, yeah, don’t jingle anyone else’s Christmas bells?” He grins.

I glare at him.

He laughs. “The only sleigh you should be riding is–,”

“PEETA!” I interrupt, trying to scowl, but my amusement shows.

Jo gives him a high five.

“Okay, OKAY! Umm, I’m going to be myself, so I’m going to be affectionate in front of people,” Peeta says while my eyes go wide, he’s not suggesting… “No! Nothing crazy. I just mean hand holding, arm around your shoulder, light touching. The kind a grandma would approve of. Try not to resist me,” he says with a wink.

Then he demonstrates by putting an arm around me.

Did it just get a little warmer in here? I shrug my shoulders up a little. Then I remind myself not to resist.

Madge and Jo laugh at me while I struggle.

Peeta has his Casanova smile, then he leans in.

I start to breath heavier when his hot breath tickles my neck.

“Remember, we’re madly in love, so it’s alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it,” he whispers.

My cheeks go red and I shove him away as Madge and Jo hoot and holler.

I shake my head and laugh with them.

I grab some ice out of my water cup and smear it all over Peeta’s face.

“Cool it there, Don Lothario! Not everyone is comfortable with such blatant forwardness!” I say grinning. I know I’ve won this round.

“Back to their antics!” Johanna mumbles.

Jo and Madge start whispering.

Nope, I’m not going to stick around for the teasing that will follow.

“Hey I’m going to get going. Jo, do you need a ride to our apartment? Peeta you’re staying here?” I ask the two who don’t live in this upscale apartment.

“I’m good,” Peeta says with a nod, raising another drink in his hand, meaning he’s staying here.

Jo grabs her coat as I say my goodbyes and hand out my remaining few Christmas gifts to our friends.

It’s so nice to have Christmas here every year.

Jo and I are adult orphans, so this is our family Christmas. Or was.

Now I’m joining Peeta’s family.

#savvylark #fanfic #holiday fic #katniss and peeta #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #hallmark #not your mamas hallmark christmas #everlark #christmas fic #things savvy writes

135 notes · View notes

winterinpanem · 6 years

Text

Not Your Mama's Hallmark Christmas part 1/3

The air is thick with affection and laughter. Snow lightly falls, twinkling and tumbling outside the window, echoing the light-hearted mood inside.

Madge and Gale’s upscale apartment looks like West Elm meets Martha Stewart's holiday catalog. Spread after spread of delicious and appropriately holiday themed hors d'oeuvre and snacks are on every surface. Wine and seasonal cocktails have been flowing.

“Hey! I don't judge you with your choices in men!” Peeta’s tone is serious, but his expression says otherwise. He’s already 3 spiked eggnogs in, following tradition.

Finnick, Annie, and Thresh’s new girlfriend, Rue, are laughing around the table as I tease Peeta about his newest ex-girlfriend.

“I'm just saying, with a name like Glimmer? I mean, do shiny objects keep her occupied?” I ask Peeta.

He winces, but smiles.

“Is she confessing personal problems with that nickname?” I smirk, as the whole table erupts in laughter.

Gale and Madge are also pulled out of their own little world leaning near the wet bar.

Tresh joins us from the kitchen, shaking his head, amused at our usual banter. Thresh hands his girlfriend Rue another eggnog, placing a platter of food in front of us. Always playing host.

Peeta bites his lip to repress his laughter. Ugh, I love and hate when he does that.

He looks in my eyes and jabs back at me.

“Oh, you're one to talk. A nickname like Marvel didn't give you any clue that you had found your very own Sheldon Cooper?” Peeta's blue eyes twinkle with amusement.

I scowl, but my eyes reveal the laughter I'm stifling. “Who doesn't like the Marvel movies? I should have known that meant he would be SO into comic books!” I snap back with equal amusement. “And Cosplay.”

We all chuckle, there's nothing wrong with cosplay, it's just not my scene at all. A hilariously poor match.

Peeta looks over at Johanna.

“Jo, what was that hipster guy's name you dated, the one who never showered? Bright?”

Jo scowls, but her eyes prove she's just as amused as we are. “Hey, don't bash a hipster! You’re looking at one.” She winks and continues. “BLIGHT was his name!”

“I hated that guy!” Thresh adds.

If our own 6’6” gigantic teddy bear didn’t even like the guy, that's saying something.

Johanna sighs. “He was a disaster! I appreciate a man who has an aversion to anything mainstream, but he used it as a reason to have zero responsibility for anything. Blight, I'm positive he made that name up! Rhymes with flight. That should have been my first clue.”

She goes on to tells about the time he asked a librarian if they had showers in their bathroom. That’s how Jo promptly left Blight, stranded at the library.

Chatter continues throughout the room.

Johanna leans her body towards Peeta and pokes his side. “Weelllll, Peeta-bread, what are you going to do for your mom's insane Christmas bash for all the rich snobs without Sparkle for the holidays?” Johanna pries, emphasis on the ridiculous name.

Peeta makes a low growl noise in his throat and shakes his head, raking his fingers through his hair.

“That's why you started dating Glitter in the first place, right? To get your mean ol’ mommy Mellark off your back?” She's teasing, but some concern is evident in her expression. She cares. Prickly, sarcastic Johanna Mason has always had a soft spot for the people she loves.

Every one of us knows just how awful Peeta’s mother can be.

Last year easily takes the cake as being the height of humiliation. Peeta brought up the topic of marriage to his heiress and mother-approved girlfriend of 4 years. Her rejection lead to their break up, and left him a broken man.

Right before a prominent holiday season.

Peeta's mother was awful to him the entire visit for Christmas.

Peeta is determined to avoid a repeat.

All of us stayed nearby our college town, hours from our hometowns, for similar broken or dysfunctional family reasons.

Staying together also means having the second family we've found in our friends.

We all went to Panem State together at various points of arrival. Gale, Peeta, and Finnick had been in their 3rd year when Madge and I started.

Thresh and I were fast friends our freshman year and started regular pizza and movie nights with Madge and Gale, our pseudo family slowly fell into place.

Johanna was, and still is, my roommate who I met through Peeta and Finnick.

Sweet Rue, Thresh’s girlfriend, became an easy addition in the last year.

Peeta doesn't answer Johanna’s question. The conversation steers to memorable Christmas parties and ugly sweaters.

Jo smirks at me. “Remember that time--,”

“Oh I remember! Johanna tricked me into wearing the ugliest sweater at a party that WASN'T an ugly sweater party. I thought I was going to win!” I grit my teeth and scowl at the memory.

“Three years in a row!” Johanna adds, to my humiliation.

I growl.

I'm met with amused smiles and laughter.

Finnick delves into a ridiculous story about a friend who was wearing Christmas lights in his ugly sweater and nearly landed him a Darwin Award by electrocution.

Finnick heroically kicked him in the chest to unplug the lights, but in doing so, he embedded broken bulbs in the guy's chest.

That party ended with a trip to the ER treating the friend’s electrocution and stitches.

The details he adds, no one could make up.

Finnick's knack for acquiring stories is phenomenal. We're all in stitches, laughing until our sides hurt.

“Well, Peet, if you have to go to the party alone, at least Annie and I will be there to take some of the pressure off,” Finnick says to his best friend as Annie hands him his coat.

Annie’s parents are old friends of the Mellarks, so she's been to their parties since childhood and is well acquainted with how important appearances are, and the pressure Mrs. Mellark puts on her youngest son.

Behind them is Rue, also carrying 2 coats.

Thresh lifts me into his arms in his signature crushing hug.

Rue giggles as I make a show of gasping for air.

The couples continue to exchange their goodbyes, and ‘Merry Christmases’ handing each of us a present and head out of Madge and Gale’s apartment.

I watch the couples head to the stairs, hand in hand.

Rue’s warm brown eyes rarely leave Thresh’s face. She smiles softly as he talks to her with such affection. The look in his eyes says Rue is everything.

I know my friend. He's in love.

Annie and Finnick are more playful.

Annie blushes as Finnick whispers in her ear then kisses her cheek. She's pushes him away. Bumps his shoulder a little while their fingers remain entwined. Annie's giggle is infectious and echoes through the stairwell. Again, it's the look Finnick has in his eyes that melts my Grinchly heart. Annie holds his heart for eternity.

Then, it hits me.

Maybe I do want that some day?

I've never admitted it to myself.

Everyone knows I have scoffed at love and marriage, probably since the very first boy that caught my eye when I was 16.

But people change.

I shrug my shoulders and shut the apartment door, and those thoughts.

Jo has clearly had too many drinks at this point, speaking loud enough for everyone to hear.

“I would definitely help you out if I wasn't set on getting my ass to the beach. I just can't stand family gatherings. And, as fun as it would be to piss your mom off, I think you're hoping for someone to take away the attention rather than direct more to you, amiright??” she pauses and shoves Peeta. “I TOLD YOU, ask her!” Johanna whisper-yells in her drunken state.

Peeta's face is red.

I'm pretty sure at one point Jo skipped the eggnog and has been downing the hard stuff straight.

Wouldn't be the first time.

I purse my lips and try to think of who ‘her' she’s referring to.

I've also never understood why his parents make this party such a big deal, but my own parents were very casual about gatherings.

When I had parents anyway.

Peeta has stressed about this Christmas party every year, but it was after he graduated that he made a point to always bring a girl.

For his mother's sake.

Peeta looks sheepish, sighs and rubs the back of his neck. Then he turns to me.

Wait, me?

Oh. no.

I've seen this hallmark movie.

Okay, calm down, it's just Peeta. Still, I start shaking my head.

Madge gives me this mad-scientist look, raises her eyebrows and I can see her wheels turning now.

She's gone into planner-mode.

I know Madge is feeling guilty she can't be there for her cousin Peeta.

Madge typically attends her Aunt and Uncle’s annual holiday party in Merchant. Had she not organized a charity event for childhood cancer that same weekend she would be.

It's hard to keep up with her event planning, and it's busiest around the holidays and wedding season.

Also, being a senator's daughter has expectations of it's own. There are other obligations that she needs to attend.

I would hate to have to deal with the expectations and pressure Madge has, which she handles with such grace.

I imagine when Gale does finally pop the question with that ring burning a hole in his pocket the event itself is going to be insane, and the planning will be flawless.

Madge is very good at what she does.

I dart back and grab another drink while Madge joins Jo and Peeta to conspire.

I groan.

“So Gale, do you have any interesting plans coming up?” I elbow my best friend playfully.

I have been teasing him for months about asking Madge that daunting, er, I mean magical question.

I helped Gale pick out the near-colorless solitaire in a rose-gold setting, and I learned more than I ever wanted to about engagement rings that day.

Diamonds haunted the back of my eyelids for days.

“Wouldn't you like to know?” Gale teases back, but can't keep the gigantic grin off his face.

“Well I better be the first one to hear it!” I say with a wink.

Gale rolls his eyes, laughs, but nods.

We know I will.

It's actually contagious, to see my best friend so in love, I'm almost giddy with him.

Weird.

So maybe I'm not so allergic to happy endings either.

“Katniss!! We need your help!” Madge says in a sing-songy voice.

I grimace, let out a deep sigh and give Gale a pleading look.

He just shrugs.

Great. No allies here.

And so begins my acting career as Peeta Mellark’s girlfriend for the Holidays with his family.

Madge starts jotting down notes. She lists a hair salon, a wax center, a list of clothing, make up, shoes. Asking Peeta which family members will be in town for the week. Other tentative events --all of which made my childhood Christmases as a poor girl from the wrong side of town sound so meagre.

I'm already a fish out of water.

“I don't, I don't even know how--,” I stammer.

Madge interrupts,“Oh, nonsense! I'll teach you everything, we have time to prepare. Just be yourself, Katniss. You've always had a calming effect on Peeta. He needs you and I can't be there. Everything will be fine, Katniss!”

Jo is finding all of this amusing. “Hey, don't be brainless! You get to pretend to be a different version of yourself. Haven't you ever wondered what it would have been like to have more growing up? I have! This could be fun!” Johanna is surprisingly convincing for how drunk she is.

I have to admit, all the things Madge is talking about would be an experience, and I'm not alone. I'll be with our friend Peeta the whole time.

Now I'm looking at Madge, then Peeta, and back.

“Can we establish a safe word? When it's too much and I need an escape? I could say ‘do you want to build a snowman?’ Instead of making a run for it.” I try to make light of it but I'm a known flight risk. We all understand this.

“Absolutely, I can help you with an escape to a quiet place, just say so.” Peeta reassures me.

I hesitate and fiddle with my hands.

“All the Mellark baked goods will be on tap the whole week,” he adds.

I look sceptical. “If we're doing this, we're going to make it fun. Promise?” I add.

“I promise!” Peeta replies.

“Also, you're so lucky Prim is off the grid, helping with medical needs from the hurricanes!” I tease. He knows I would never pick this over a Christmas with my sister.

I'm also keeping his little crisis in perspective, this isn't a real crisis at all.

“Fine. I'll do it,” I say with a huff.

Johanna and Madge cheer.

Gale is laughing at my predicament.

“You're the best, Everdeen!” Peeta wraps me up in a tight full body hug.

I stiffen a little but don't pull away.

I'm just not much for hugging, but I've tried to get used to Peeta’s, Thresh's and, well, probably half our friends touchy, affectionate tendencies.Especially after the alcohol is flowing.

It surprises me that of all our friends, it’s actually Peeta and Annie whose touchy tendencies turn from affection to questionable around me after a few drinks.

Peeta keeps his body flush to mine and this hug is turning not so innocent.

I shove him back playfully. I have stories.

“Easy tiger! That reminds me. Let's work through some rules? I think for all intents and purposes we should appear to be dating exclusively, just out of respect for each other. Try to keep excessive flirting with the ladies to a minimum?” I ask of Peeta.

“Noted. Only flirt with you.” Peeta grins widely and emphasizes you with his finger to my nose.

I roll my eyes.

“What about you, Peeta? Ground rules for your lovely girlfriend?” I ask with a sarcastic tone, batting my eyes in mock flirtation.

Jo smirks.

Madge is busy in thought.

Gale is cleaning up.

“Oh um, yeah, don't jingle anyone else's Christmas bells?” He grins.

I glare at him.

He laughs. “The only sleigh you should be riding is--,”

“PEETA!” I interrupt, trying to scowl, but my amusement shows.

Jo gives him a high five.

“Okay, OKAY! Umm, I'm going to be myself, so I'm going to be affectionate in front of people,” Peeta says while my eyes go wide, he's not suggesting... “No! Nothing crazy. I just mean hand holding, arm around your shoulder, light touching. The kind a grandma would approve of. Try not to resist me,” he says with a wink.

Then he demonstrates by putting an arm around me.

Did it just get a little warmer in here? I shrug my shoulders up a little. Then I remind myself not to resist.

Madge and Jo laugh at me while I struggle.

Peeta has his Casanova smile, then he leans in.

I start to breath heavier when his hot breath tickles my neck.

“Remember, we're madly in love, so it's alright to kiss me anytime you feel like it,” he whispers.

My cheeks go red and I shove him away as Madge and Jo hoot and holler.

I shake my head and laugh with them.

I grab some ice out of my water cup and smear it all over Peeta’s face.

“Cool it there, Don Lothario! Not everyone is comfortable with such blatant forwardness!” I say grinning. I know I've won this round.

“Back to their antics!” Johanna mumbles.

Jo and Madge start whispering.

Nope, I'm not going to stick around for the teasing that will follow.

“Hey I'm going to get going. Jo, do you need a ride to our apartment? Peeta you're staying here?” I ask the two who don't live in this upscale apartment.

“I'm good,” Peeta says with a nod, raising another drink in his hand, meaning he's staying here.

Jo grabs her coat as I say my goodbyes and hand out my remaining few Christmas gifts to our friends.

It's so nice to have Christmas here every year.

Jo and I are adult orphans, so this is our family Christmas. Or was.

Now I'm joining Peeta’s family.

The lights and sounds of the impending Christmas week are evident as we make our way through downtown. The obnoxious bright lights that glimmer in the night linger and burn as I drive.

The snow falling lightly reminds me that I long for the woods, and the sight of a star or two would be a welcome sight. I keep my eyes on the road.

The slush sounds that accompany driving in these conditions are drowned by the warm buzz of contentment our friends bring when we are all together.

Well, Johanna is still buzzed from spiked eggnog.

As we drive back to our apartment, Johanna talks about her upcoming trip to the coast.

“I'm hoping I can score a fling for the week like you did when you visited Abernathy’s that one summer. How did you snag him by the way?”

Ugh. I don't want to say. It further confirms, to my friend's amusement, my poor judgement in choices of companionship.

I met him through my uncle's step-son, who lead with his own line. “Hey did you know it's legal to marry your cousin here?”

YUCK! That should have been a clue that his friend would also turn out to be a weirdo.

The beach was amazing with a strong handsome man who was so into me. It was a wild trist.

By the end of the week, I learned enough about him to be happy to leave it there.

Southern gentleman my ass. He started bragging about fights he'd been in.

No thank you.

The tipping point was when he started a story with: “Look, I'm not racist, but…” then continued with a racist comment.

Nope. You. are. DISMISSED.

“Oh I met that guy through Effie’s nephew,” I reply, but I'm still disgusted thinking about him.

My roommate gives me a thoughtful look. “You know, Brainless, you could have your own little something at casa de Mellark?” she says with mischief in her eyes.

I scowl.

“Oh come on, you seriously can't tell me you're not at all attracted to Peeta Mellark? That your ‘antics' couldn't lead to more? You never thought about hitting that? Probably any woman who has even met him has…” Jo insists incredulous of my scowl.

“FINE! Of course, I have! When we were younger, he would meet us at Madge’s pool parties. He was older and dreamy. The hair, the body, the eyes? Yes all of it. For a shy, hormonal teenage girl to get his attention, even for a minute was...ahh!” I have to catch my breath at the memory.

“But I knew he was out of my league. Then, you know, at college it was easy to live in the friend zone. Besides, he dates girls from old money, like Cashmere De Young, and I'm--,” I confess, gesturing to myself.

Johanna interrupts. “Incredible? Genuine? Real? Radiant with no make up? Smart? Funny? Loyal? I could go on…”

I'm surprised at my usually sarcastic friend's words of affirmation. It takes me a minute to take it in. “Hmm.”

“He's not out of your league. He never was. You have to believe that! You are unique, not some cookie-cutter bimbo dripping with daddy's money. Don't for one second think a girl like that has anything on you!” Jo insists.

Wow.

I'm not really sure what Johanna was trying to achieve by this pep talk, but I'm a little choked-up!

I just nod.

Barely a whisper, but I manage to say, “Thank you, Jo.”

She just smiles in reply. Then waves off my comment implying ‘it was nothing.’

That night I revisit memories I have long buried. It's all Jo’s fault.

“Madge! You did not tell me there were going to be so many hot guys here!” I scowl at my closest girl friend as I fiddle nervously with the green bikini she convinced me to wear. I'm not really a bikini kind of girl.

“Relax Katniss! Don't even start. You hang out with the hotness that is Gale Hawthorne all the time. Besides, you know all these guys from school.” She gestures toward the guys at the refreshment table. I do recognize each of them.

“And those,” Madge gestures to the hottest guy I've ever seen standing with a few other swimsuit clad high schoolers near the diving board. “--are my cousin and his friends.”

Madge says and gives me a knowing smile as she watches my jaw drop.

“Th-th-THAT is the cousin that used to tease us and chase us? The one who used to bring treats from his parent's bakery?!”

Madge nods, trying to hold in a laugh.

This time my eyes rove over the muscular, tall blond, I take in his chiseled chest, muscular arms…

As he dives into the pool I get a glimpse of his backside and it is ridiculous.

Madge is laughing at me.

“Katniss, I've never seen you like this! It took 16 years for a boy turn your head and it's my cousin of all people?!” Madge laughs incredulously.

I bite my lip, but keep my eyes on the water.

“Katniss has a crush!” Madge mocks. I was indeed the very definition of a late bloomer.

“I do not!” I argued, but she was right.

Peeta was a senior, and boy did he have the swagger of the wrestling champion that he was. Yet, his kindness, and steady protective nature remained the same as the boy I would see a few times a year.

Peeta had a way of making sure I was always included as kids.

He would patiently explain the rules to a new game and always seemed to be my ally in anything competitive.

He wasn't around as much in the high school years, so that day at Madge's pool party, I was looking at a whole new Peeta.

When he came up from under the water, Peeta whipped his head to the side, swiping his wet mop of hair out of his eyes.

Jeez, right out GQ magazine.

I know I'm staring.

Then he caught my gaze and smiled at me. A blinding smile that made my teenage heart beat faster.

I replied with a shy smile, and looked down.

Madge shot me a knowing smirk and shook her head with a laugh.

Wet arms wrapped around my waist from behind.

I barely had time to squeak before a dripping wet Peeta pulled me away and jumped into the pool dragging me with him.

I couldn't even be mad, the pool felt so good on such a hot day. I didn't mind his strong arms around me either.

We were both laughing as we reached the surface.

That set the tone for the day.

As we would mingle with our other friends and swim, Peeta and I would lock eyes. Gravitating back to each other.

Our interactions seemed to be flirty and playful. It became an unspoken agreement that when we were in the pool, where no one could see, hands could explore.

The first few times Peeta's hand brushed my thighs or hips in the deep end I didn't think anything of it, but the third time it lingered, I caught on.

He searched my face for a reaction, which I answered with a smile. I liked his attention.

The heat between us grew.

That summer Peeta seemed to show up at Madge's house almost every time we were in the pool.

The attraction between us was undeniable, but our secret.

As a shy girl who shut down every previous guy's advances I was in over my head.

I refused to think about a future with Peeta. After all, he was leaving for college hours away at the end of the summer. However, I would be lying if I said I didn't let this crush invade my thoughts all summer.

We had our own “antics,” (Jo would call them present day) and ongoing inside jokes, just like when we were kids.

It had become our mission to get everyone wet who refused to go in the pool at least once.

Between planned sneak-attacks and belly flops, Peeta and I were undefeated in our mission.

By the end of the summer, Peeta bought super-soakers for each of us. We snuck around the side of Madge's house, ready to ambush a particularly manicured group of girls, when he pinned me to the house.

“I've never met a girl like you, Everdeen,” he said, breathlessly. Then Peeta leaned in...

I never told Madge, but it was Peeta who was my first kiss. Pinned up on the side of her house, 18 year old Peeta Mellark left me breathless and dizzy in a mind blowing kiss.

I rationalized that it was probably that amazing because it was my first kiss, but I've always wondered why no kiss since then has ever come close.

Must have been the heat.

Also, the words super-soaker now have a double meaning I can never forget.

I lie awake frustrated. “Maybe going with Peeta isn't such a good idea?” I wonder to myself.

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28allthelove28 · 7 years

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Essay on Fandom and Obsession (One Direction & Fionn Whitehead mainly)

I think it is vital to not make people feel guilty for the things that they enjoy. It is also important to realise that everyone gets obsessed with stuff, and it’s not a bad thing.

Fandom can often be seen as being predominantly young girls screaming and crying over young boys, and apparently that is not cool. At least a lot of people seem to think it is not cool, but that attitude is wrong. Yes, teenage girls have been freaking out over young men since before Beatlemania, but intense fandom and excessive love for your idol is by no means exclusive to young girls. Think of Morrissey. Grown men devote their lives to worshiping him. I’ve witnessed hard, tough, old men in tears, covered in Smiths tattoos, shouting every lyric out at a Morrissey gig, and no one batted an eye. It’s great! David Bowie inspired generations of working class lads to dye their hair bright orange and go out wearing glittery make up. Loads of men really idolise Oasis. Everybody loves Radiohead. I’m one of the proud and devoted thousands who flock in their Goth uniform to see The Cure perform every couple of years, and hopefully I always will be. The best moment of my life was my last Cure gig, and I’m very happy about that. Of course, fan girls don’t just like male musicians, a lot of girls like Beyoncé, Taylor Swift and Little Mix, so do a lot of boys. Lads also like Justin Bieber as well as girls. Maybe it is naïve, unnecessary and problematic to even consider fandom in terms of gender, especially in terms of only two genders.

To mention fan fiction, I bought a book from Rough Trade Records which was part of a series of works inspired by different musicians. It was a short story which the author imagined after listening to the album Dry by PJ Harvey. It may not be classed as conventional fan fiction per say, due to Polly Harvey not being directly featured in the story, but each chapter began with the first lyric of Polly’s song, in order of the album tracklist. Something creative and imaginative was born from an enjoyment of music, it was wonderful. And fandom is obviously not just music orientated, thousands of people are obsessed and devoted to football. I couldn’t even count the amount of Newcastle United Football Club tattoos I’ve seen. Game Of Thrones, Star Wars and Harry Potter have enormous fan bases too. The Great British Bake Off is huge, so are specific YouTubers, make-up brands, celebrities like the Kardashians, fashion brands, games, and phone apps. There are so many areas of fandom and obsession, when you begin to think about it. I may have glossed over and simplified some things but these serve as only a few brief examples, out of many, of how diverse and wonderful fandom can be.

Being a fan is clearly by absolutely no means just young females liking young male singers, and it probably is problematic to think so. Perhaps why it can initially seem that way, to me anyway, may be because a girl obsessing over a boy has been my personal experience, and in contemporary culture today, the media really does like to mock girls like me. To focus on One Direction in particular, because that is my biggest obsession, and is most relevant to this discussion, many journalists enjoy frequently claiming that all One Direction fans are hysterical, naive 12 year old girls, who want to sleep with the band, and only like them because they’re pretty. When in fact, not only is that disrespectful to any 12 year old 1D fans, but many fans have grown up with One Direction and are around the same age as them, if not much older. Many One Direction fans don’t fancy the band whatsoever, many 1D fans are boys, many fans are gender fluid, and all the fans that I’ve interacted with genuinely love 1D’s music and respect the band members. Yes, there are some people who sexualise, worship, and disrespect One Direction, but tabloid journalists can often only focus on that side of things.

I think it is important to highlight more so, that a vast portion of the One Direction fandom are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and through 1D and their fans, feel loved, supported, understood, welcomed, included and inspired to be strong and proud. A lot of One Direction concerts are full of rainbow flags, which then get shown on the big screen, signed by Louis, and worn by Harry. Harry has ‘liked’ Instagram posts encouraging people to “Support feminine boys” and Louis has even corrected Harry when he accidentally misgendered a fan. A vast portion of the 1D fandom, myself included, genuinely believe that Harry and Louis are in love, and have been in a secret relationship for years, and we completely support them. (I have a separate essay on this.) I talked about this recently with a lecturer in queer art history, who also believes in Larry, and is in awe at the level of visual analysis ‘Larries’ have undertaken to examine Harry and Louis’ complimentary couple tattoos.

Harry has inspired young boys to wear nail polish because, until seeing him do it, they “Didn’t know boys were allowed.” Again, I don’t want to skim over important issues, but I am quickly mentioning the importance of One Direction’s queer community, and Harry challenging gender norms, to disprove the media idea that all 1D fans are just there to sexualise the band. Yes, I and many others do find One Direction very beautiful and sexy, but I don’t want to be their girlfriend or their lover, at most I just want to be their best friend. I want to continue enjoying their music and supporting them as individuals. And so do the majority of fans that I interact with.

The way in which mainstream media represents One Direction fans can make them expect everyone to mock them. However Mark Radcliffe, a radio presenter on 6Music, an alternative station you would never expect to mention One Direction, recently spoke very kindly of Harry Styles and his fans. He saw people queuing to meet Harry, and explained on his show that they were very excited, and “Why wouldn’t they be?” Mark discussed that Harry was doing solo work and even made a feature out of fandom, asking listeners to text in their own experiences of queueing for their idols. Mark kept chatting to Harry’s fans, checking they were ok and he even brought them breakfast. The entire time Mark mentioned Harry and the fans, he spoke sweetly and respectfully and completely normally. This shouldn’t have been refreshing to hear, but it really was. I tweeted to thank Mark for his kindness, to which he ‘liked’ and replied. I simply found this a lovely and heart-warming example of respectable music news outlets treating young pop fans nicely.

Harry Styles himself was even asked about his fan-base being mainly composed of young girls, as if he were supposed to feel embarrassed about that, and he brilliantly commented “Who’s to say that young girls who like pop music – short for popular right? – have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy? That’s not up to you to say. Music is something that’s changing… Young girls like the Beatles. You gonna tell me they’re not serious? How can you say young girls don’t get it? They’re our future – our future doctors, lawyers, mothers, presidents, they kind of keep the world going. Teenage-girl fans – they don’t lie. If they like you, they’re there. They don’t act ‘too cool’. They like you, and they tell you.” I really don’t think there is a better way to say it. One Direction fans defend them against the media, but they also correct them if they make mistakes. We are honest.

Louis Tomlinson has also talked about how impressive and “Remarkable” his own fans devotion is, and how endlessly grateful he is for it. Louis has discussed how he’s built up a special relationship with his fans and often credits his success as being a constant “Teamwork” between him and the fans working together, even saying that they deserve managerial, promotion jobs. Niall Horan from One Direction constantly looks out for the safety of his fans as they queue to see him perform, and he even regularly shares photos of letters which he’s handwritten for fans, personally updating them on what he’s been up to. Liam Payne from 1D always remembers to acknowledge special band anniversaries that the fans get involved with, and Zayn Malik frequently shares examples of fan art that his fans have drawn of him. The members of the band which people idolise, equally love and appreciate their fans in return and form a family-like unit together, and it’s lovely.

People have picked up on this and even said that society should be built in a similar way as a fandom; supportive, passionate and communal. A lovely article was written by Aarabelle Sicardi, in which she describes fashion designer Rei Kawakubo as her own Harry Styles. She rightly notes that “Loving people makes you brave.” And that “Fandom is a pure version of this. It’s an ideal receptacle of feelings because you ask for nothing personal in return… fandom gave me bravery and friendship.” She admits that you can often find yourself needing to “Defend” your fandom love, and that people may dismiss the thing you love but the thing you love will never dismiss you. She discusses similar points which I have made that “Fandom lives in every industry if you know where to look…teen girls are always attacked for their fandom regardless: music fandom to outsiders looks uncool, unhinged or wasteful. You might see teen girls crying and holding signs or collecting memorabilia and think it’s too much for something so trivial. But it’s not.” Sicardi quotes Harry’s fans as they describe how he was a gateway to finding their queer community and affirming their own identity, saying that “His existence in the world made them more comfortable with their own…Teen girls are criticized for loving the wrong things and loving them in weird and unproductive ways. But the criticisms couldn’t be more off base. They love things with a brilliance and curiosity that makes them better for it…Teen girls push themselves to learn how to code so they can build beautiful fan-pages and online communities… It helps them build worlds out of their imaginings.” Through writing about One Direction, myself and many other fans have also learnt more about putting forward an argument, gathering information, formatting essays and questioning things. Sicardi ends her article by saying that loving things makes fans smarter and braver, and I agree.

These are all beautiful, empowering things, but for me, being so engaged in a fandom can also mean that I do live inside my head quite a lot, but it’s mostly very nice in there, and I think everyone does that. Everyone imagines things. Everyone enjoys the things they enjoy. Admittedly I probably think that obsessing over famous boys is worse than it actually is. In reality I’ve now learnt that it’s not that bad at all. Yes, loving One Direction, Larry Stylinson and Fionn Whitehead can cause some problems – what if no man in real life can live up to them? What if Larry or ‘Larries’ have set unrealistic expectations of relationships? What if I’m more invested in their wellbeing than my own, and those around me? What if I spend so much time on them that I am ignorant to real world problems? What if their rich and privileged lifestyles have made me greedy and selfish? What if their success being born from luck on a talent show has made me lazy and less ambitious? What if their enormous success at the same age as me has made me value my own progress less? What if their physical beauty and that of the people around them has made me doubt and criticise my own? However, perhaps me thinking that loving a boy band or an actor is damaging and could cause all these issues, is the actual problem. Perhaps the obsession itself is not the problem, but my attitude towards it, an attitude influenced by media shame. Maybe me thinking it’s a problem is the only problem.

In reality, it is fun, and educational, and cultural to discover an actor or a singer. To appreciate a person’s talent and hard work, to notice their good qualities, to learn things from them and from their art, to unashamedly be passionate about something, to meet new people through that shared interest and then learn more things from them. All of that is a positive, and rewarding, and beautiful thing. I just have to keep thinking that until I no longer need to remind myself.

Perhaps this whole essay is my way of justifying to myself that it is ok for me to be obsessed with Fionn Whitehead and One Direction. Of course it is. Life is too short and dramatic to worry about things that you don’t really need to worry about. Life is too short and dramatic to deny yourself what you enjoy. Life is too short and dramatic to be over influenced by other people and their opinions. Life is too short and dramatic to not be proud of who you are and what makes you happy.

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talesofdark · 7 years

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B-Daman music HCs

Tag yourselves I’m Enjyu

Yamato: I think he’d be a lot into pop and possibly some alternative rock?? But mostly nice music. He’d feel like stuff that’s too hardcore just hurts his ears lmao

Terry: This is the guy who listens to meditation music YT playlists. Also traditional/instrumental Japanese music. He secretly enjoys some mainstream music tho, but he won’t admit it ;)

Gray: The “cool” one. He’d be into stuff like Coldplay, Red Hot Chill Peppers and such. Some psychedelic rock and indie stuff maybe. He might even be a bit of a hipster LMAO

Bull: This is the kind of person who would listen to mostly everything his friends show him. Like he’d borrow Gray’s CDs but also listen to Terry’s stuff and laugh at the shizz Wen shows him (probably the only person who does so)

Wen: This guy is a huge memer. Whatever stupid new song comes out he’d blast it all day on the phone. Like Gangnam Style or Pen Pineapple Apple Pen. The more annoying, the better. One thing I know for sure is he’d love PSY. Other than that, he would be a total normie, mostly listening to pop and rap and such.

Li: The annoying elitist. He would listen to mostly classical music. Also maybe some Steve Vai and stuff like that. I also imagine him being the kind of person who listens to guitar covers on YouTube. Mostly into the technical side of music and really critical of mistakes lol. When shown anything more mainstream or electronic he’d go ‘’what is this crap. This is not real music”. Yep. THAT guy.

Enjyu: This one would be all the way into metal. Mostly heavy metal. I imagine he’d go to pubs where they play it and such. Or blast it loud while on his motorcycle. Everything from Black Label Society goes. Rob Zombie, Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne too. He’d also go to moto festivals (with mostly metal) and get pretty drunk and pick the typical fights

BONUS (later addition)

Biarce post Marda B defeat: would be into dark electronic genres IMO. Like witch house. Mostly occult stuff. The kind of stuff nobody listens to :)

#batobi #battle b daman #b daman

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thisaintascenereviews · 7 years

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Album Reviews by Bradley Christensen James Barrett – Twenty Record Label: Self-released Release Date: May 26 2017

If there’s one thing that I want to achieve with my reviews, it’s that I want to talk about unknown, indie, or unsigned artists that you otherwise wouldn’t have heard about, especially if you listen to “mainstream” music. I’m not trying to say that I’m a hipster, and that I only listen to obscure stuff, but I like to bring that kind of stuff to peoples’ attention, either way. I say that, too, because there’s this reviewer on YouTube that’s getting a lot of traction, but he refuses to review albums from bands / artists that aren’t very well known, because those are some of his “least-performing” reviews, as he put it, and that’s awfully disgusting to me, because you’d think that you’d want to expose your viewers to exciting, new, and unknown bands. It shouldn’t be a shock that those videos won’t do as well as the ones where he talks about the most mainstream, popular, and accessible bands (to get some perspective, this guy’s favorite band is Green Day, even though no one has cared about Green Day since 2004), because those aren’t huge bands, but don’t get discouraged over it. Views and clicks shouldn’t be the reason why you’re making videos, and if that’s the reason why you’re doing it, you should stop immediately, frankly. That’s such a disgusting thing to say, and recently I noticed that the guy had the nerve to ask for an advanced copy of an album on Twitter, even though he’s known for downloading illegal leaks of albums. If a label found that out, they wouldn’t want to do business with the guy. Moving on, though, I love talking about unknown bands, because I want people to be more acquainted with smaller acts that need some recognition. Even if that act is unfamiliar to me, I’ll give them a chance.

That’s what happened with PA singer-songwriter James Barrett. I was turned on to his music through a friend of mine (you might know him as Staten, actually, but I really love his music), because he tagged me a status from Barrett, asking people if they would be interested in reviewing his new EP, or if they knew anyone that would be interested. I was definitely interested, even though I had never heard of his stuff before, but I love listening to new music. Unfortunately, I’ve been sick almost all week (well, for a few days, but I’ve just been trying to get my energy back for the last couple days, anyway), so I haven’t had the chance to listen to his upcoming EP, Twenty. I also picked up his other couple of EPs on his Bandcamp page, so I’ll be listening to those soon enough, but I wanted to spend some time with this one. I was able to listen to it a few weeks in advance, like I said, but I’ve been listening to the EP for the last few days now, so how is it? Well, I’m kind of conflicted on this record. I like this album, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t quite love it, either. I know why, though, and it’s because I don’t really listen to this kind of music. The best way to describe this 24-minute EP is that it’s acoustic, singer-songwriter, and folk music. Yeah, that’s not my go-to genre of choice, but I can admit when a record is done well. This album is done quite well. Barrett’s voice is very nice, the lyrics are interesting, and the overall sound is good, too. While I can admit that this album is done well, it’s just not something that I find myself coming back to that often, so I’m not exactly the right person to be listening to this. I mean, I don’t mind listening to it, and every time I’ve played it, I’ve liked it, but I haven’t been foaming at the mouth over this record (if that’s the case, I should go see a doctor pronto).

That’s the thing about certain types of music, though. I don’t mind listening to singer-songwriter / acoustic stuff, but I don’t really care about a lot of it. You need to be really, really awesome for me to care, and to be fair, Barrett is a good artist. Like I said, I like everything about this EP. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, but I’ll admit that I’m not partial to this type of music, so I’m not the right demographic here. In other words, take my opinion with a grain of salt, because I’m not the right person that should be listening to this record. What I will say, however, is that I don’t mind listening to this kind of music from time to time. Barrett’s lyrics are very emotional, heartfelt, and compelling, and his voice is very good, like I said, so it’s not like I don’t want to listen to this at all. The instrumentation, unfortunately, doesn’t do a lot for me, which is the main reason why I don’t listen to this kind of music. The instrumentation is almost always too boring, lackluster, or too bare bones for me, per se, but I have to give credit where it’s due, because if you’re a fan of this kind of music, you’ll enjoy this. You’ll most likely enjoy this a lot more than I do, too, but I can’t say this sucks. Just because I might not be the target audience for something, or I’m not too crazy about a genre, doesn’t mean that it’s automatically terrible, and I’ll tell you to skip this, because you shouldn’t. This won’t change your mind if you’re like me, and you’re just not into this kind of stuff all the time, but if you enjoy singer-songwriter, emo, acoustic, and folksy music, give this a listen. You definitely won’t regret it. I don’t regret checking this out, because it’s always a pleasure to listen to unknown, indie, or unsigned artists that need people to spread the word about them.

#james barrett #twenty #acoustic #folk #singer-songwriter #staten

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amorremanet · 7 years

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in which still no one asked for this, but it made me feel a little better about how i have a shitty day ahead of me, and pete got to go second because i have blatant authorial favoritism for him but at least i admit it?

their blog url: itwasafineaffair

Pete would tell you how many different pretentious, increasingly ridiculous theatre kid URLs he considered before finally, “going back to basics” and settling on lyrics from Cabaret’s, “Mein Herr,” but then he’d probably have to kill you because it’s a very large, embarrassing number.

That said, he still has the URL ghostsonatas saved in case he ever gets bored of Sally Bowles and decides to break out the August Strindberg.

Also, here’s the Liza Minelli version of, “Mein Herr.” Don’t ask Pete who his favorite Sally Bowles is unless you’re willing to clear your schedule for the entire afternoon because he has a lot of Opinions about that question.

their blog title: “yes, princess, i am immensely happy. thank you.”

which really only makes sense when you see Sebastian’s blog title.

Pete’s blog title used to make sense, because it kept the “Mein Herr” theme: “i’ve always said that i was a rover.” At one point, it was, “du sollst mich nicht mehr sehen, mein herr” because he’d just gotten dumped and was being emotional about it all over his blog title to restrain himself from actually being a shit to his ex.

But then his Princess finally got on tumblr, so Pete matched his blog title to Seb’s.

He would probably try to insist on matching icons, too, but Seb doesn’t see the point and he only got a non-default icon when he left Pete alone with his laptop for a few minutes and Pete picked a selfie for him to use.

For his own part, Pete’s icon changes every couple months, and when the novel starts, Pete’s icon is bearded Chris Evans holding a puppy.

the original posts they make: puns. shitposts. snarky liveblogs of whatever happens to be on TV at the moment. complaining about his coworkers. sub-post complaining about Todd (who usually doesn’t get it). all but outright saying that he is complaining about Todd (who still usually doesn’t get it). “random brief observations or whatever happens to be on Pete’s mind right now.” pictures of Seb’s dogs and/or their sponsor’s cat. pictures of Seb and Margot (give or take a few others, but seriously, Pete isn’t that close to very many people, and he usually only features Todd’s face when he can’t get out of it).

the kind of posts they reblog: Pete’s sidebar will tell you, “this is a personal blog, which means that i post whatever the hell i want and you can react however you want, but i’ll still keep posting whatever i want because it is my personal blog.” But to get a better idea:

cute pictures from blogs with themes like, “butches cuddling kittens” and, “bears cuddling puppies” and so on.

theatre, generally, and especially musical theatre. there’s a lot of general appreciation and theatre kid blogging — I mean, he’s right there and ready to reblog those photos from the one production of Midsummer’s Night’s Dream where Puck and Oberon are really, really close, or photos from when Ben Whishaw played Dionysus in Bakkhai — but Pete also reblogs more serious criticism, theatre history, commentary on the social and political significance of theatre, and so on.

Sometimes, he gets in a Mood and will lecture you on the significance of musical theatre specifically, and if he’s especially Moody, he’ll break out his copy of DH Miller’s Place For Us: An Essay on the Broadway Musical and flap loudly at you about why musical theatre is really and truly a dyed in the wool LGBTQ art form and stop trying to heterosexualize musical theatre already, it’s gross.

(On any given day, there is like a 95% chance that he will be in this Mood because Todd said something ignorant about musical theatre being, “stereotypical” and didn’t really listen when Pete went, “No, stop talking, here is why you’re wrong, you dumb-ass hipster white boy fuck” at him, and Pete just has a lot of residual feelings to express.)

Seriously, in the novel’s timeline, the critical pushback of historians, cultural critics, et al. going, “Um, actually? There are some aspects of this that are troubling for these reasons and we should really be having a Discussion about this” at Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton hasn’t started to happen yet…… but when it does? Pete will be all over it. He will be so. excited.

He won’t even be anti-Hamilton as such (like, he enjoyed the bootleg he watched since he won’t be seeing it live because jesus shit, tickets are expensive, but he also wouldn’t actually ask Seb to please use his parents’ connections to somehow find them Hamilton tickets or anything, because ehhhh, that sounds like a lot of work for a payoff that wouldn’t be worth it). Pete just loves it when people take musical theatre seriously as an art form and talk about it like that. It makes him so happy, he could just start crying.

politics or current events, sometimes. there aren’t really very many discernible trends in what he reblogs or doesn’t, on that front, beyond, “well, gay things and LGBTQ stuff more generally make pretty regular appearances” and, “Pete has tags specifically for, ‘disgruntled filipinx blogging’ and, ‘disgruntled biracial blogging.’”

fashion photography and fashion stuff generally, though:

1. it’s mostly for reference in his theatre things. Like, he does sort of enjoy the fashion stuff itself, and he has definitely reblogged some fashion things because he didn’t care about the clothes or the photography but thought the male models were gorgeous…… but even though he doesn’t usually work in costume design, Pete finds fashion stuff productively inspiring;

and 2. this happens a loooot less after February 2014, because that was when he got back from rehab (which his Mama insisted on because it was what Sebastian and Todd both did, even though Pete had already done his homework about outpatient options that didn’t involve going to Middle Of Nowhere, Minnesota, and he liked those ideas a lot better…… but he needed his Mama’s help to pay for any option, and she went, “inpatient rehab first, it’s definitely going to be better for you” and she genuinely believed that, so Pete cooperated)

Which was a big deal wrt Pete’s periodic fashion-blogging because one of the most important things that Pete got out of rehab was the one-on-one session where one of his the therapists said, “Peter, has anyone ever suggested that you might have an eating disorder?”

—which started as a, “face-crack of the century, wait what, what in the shit even are you talking about, of course they haven’t because I don’t have one…… right?” moment and eventually shifted his whole view of everything around and made him go, “holy shit, this explains so much” — and a lot of his initial resistance came out of how he’d never crashed and burned quite so obviously as people tend to think of when they hear the phrase, “eating disorder,” but still. that made so much sense out of so many things for him.

It also made him look more closely at his periodic fashion-blogging and go, “Oh. Some of this is definitely an exercise in self-abuse for me. I should maybe do that less and, like. Keep a better eye on that. And…… okay, wow, what the fuck even is my life, I really, really wish Mama had let me do the outpatient thing instead because holy shit, if they’d suggested that, I could go cling at Bastian right now instead of having to process this on my own with a bunch of nosy other patients sticking their faces into my business, like shit I appreciate the concern from most of them but I want to be with my best friend right now.”

(Pete got his clinging later, when he got back. And he unwittingly made Seb kick one of his slips off the wagon, because he’d spent almost a week coasting by on his ability to fake sobriety while telling himself things like, “okay, if I just moderately abuse my substances of choice, everything will totally work out fine”… but then Pete came home with the, “So, the shrinks in rehab said I have an eating disorder, and it makes sense and all, and I’m fucking terrified” news and Seb went, “okay no, that’s not going to work, Pete needs me to be there for him more than I want to be intoxicated”)

music. there isn’t a lot of rhyme or reason to what he’ll reblog, when, or why, because Pete will listen to almost anything.

One anecdote is that he hadn’t really had much exposure to Nicki Minaj, outside of, “Super Bass” and her verse in, “Monster,” until he deliberately went looking for Nicki stuff on tumblr because Todd, in his perpetually obnoxious hipster-ness, was trying to avoid her entirely because she was, “undeniably talented, but too mainstream.”

So, Pete wanted to annoy Todd and give him a huge middle finger for that shit because on one hand, yeah, uh huh. Way to say that about a black woman artist while actually paying (Bastian’s parents’) money to buy the Glee soundtrack legally, as if that is somehow LESS mainstream than Nicki Minaj, are you SERIOUS.

Also, Todd? YOU OWN MULTIPLE ALBUMS BY MAROON 5. STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW “ANTI-MAINSTREAM” YOU THINK YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU WEAR FLANNEL AND BUDDY HOLLY GLASSES AND YOUR ALLEGED “FILMS” MAKE NO SENSE.

And on the other, oh my god, shut up, you obnoxious fucking hipster, everybody already fucking gets it: you want to be original and edgy and insightful and cool, and you overcompensate because, on some level, you KNOW that you are none of these things, and you are an insecure little white boy who can’t deal with how ~*mainstream*~ more than a handful of his interests actually are, now shut up shut up shut up shut upppppppp.

Clearly, the best way to make this point to Todd was to loudly, insistently support Nicki Minaj and put her on Todd’s dash whenever possible.

That didn’t exactly work out as well as Pete wanted it to because Todd singularly failed to get the point (or maybe he did but just committed himself to acting like he didn’t, Pete’s not sure).

But on the other hand, Pete actually listened to more of Nicki’s music than, “Super Bass” and her verse in, “Monster” while doing this, and that’s the story of how Pete came to fanboy Nicki Minaj.

Chris Evans. A lot of Chris Evans. Not quite, “more Chris Evans than your body has room for,” but say, like…… two steps down from a lethal dose of Chris Evans.

Not that Pete neglects the rest of the MCU, exactly, but he’s like 80% there for Chris Evans, 10% there for Anthony Mackie, 5% there for Sebastian Stan, 3% there for Mark Ruffalo, and 2% there for literally everything else. And it shows. Because he really blatantly favors Chris Evans.

These numbers will change somewhat when CACW actually happens in-character, because Chadwick Boseman. But Pete’s number one will still be Chris Evans.

Tangentially: Please do not ask Pete if he prefers CEvans shaven or bearded. Just don’t.

Don’t do it because his answer will be, “I prefer Chris Evans right here, right now, with his tongue in my mouth and his hand on my ass” and he will think this is clever every. single. fucking. time.

Don’t talk to him about Tom Hiddleston, either. But……… you should avoid doing this for very different reasons.

Like, without any external influence, Pete’s opinion of Tom Hiddleston would just be, “meh *shrugs* whatever, like I haven’t seen a million sad puppy-eyed weird-but-pretty edgelord white bad boys before. Like I don’t have a cute but troubled pretty white boy with big sad Bambi eyes for a best friend. Okay, he’s talented, but ugggggggh, I’m BORED”

—but see, Todd kind of has a Thing for Tom Hiddleston. Todd kind of loves Tom Hiddleston.

Which makes Pete determined to really not love Tom Hiddleston, literally just to annoy and spite Todd for, “having terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, boring as shit taste — my Princess excluded.”

So, uh. Don’t do that. (Trying to talk to him about RDJ isn’t advised against, but only because Pete will just ignore it and pretend he has no idea who that is.)

Oh, also, don’t expect Pete to care that the MCU and the XMCU are separate entities, or care that the canon of the XMCU can be a complete cluster-fuck, or give a fuck that all of the different Spiderman movies are not necessarily related to each other.

Don’t expect him to give a fuck about any of this because he thinks it’s way more entertaining to try and shove all of them into the same universe, just like you’d do with the actual comics.

Also, he has learned that he can get his cousin Emerson, Emerson’s weird nerd-bro friends, and Todd wound up really easily and make them do stupid things by feigning like he has no idea that Chris Evans and James McAvoy will not ever cross paths in a Marvel movie because of dumb copyright reasons, wondering why Hugh Jackman’s name isn’t on the cast list for Age of Ultron

and saying things like, “You know what would be the best possible thing for Thor: Ragnarok? At the midpoint, Sir Ian McKellan makes a grand entrance from behind some random curtains that weren’t there five minutes ago, purple cape billowing behind him, and Magneto punches Loki in the face. Boom, Ragnarok averted. They fill the rest of the movie’s runtime with Chris Evans taking me to dinner and a movie within a movie, it’d be totally meta, right? :D”

Yeah, Pete is also that person who would go to ComicCon in a “totally brilliant cosplay” as, “the World’s #1 S*tucky Shipper,” get super-method about his real-time LARPing as The World’s #1 S*tucky Shipper (but like, using actual method-acting, not, “Jared Leto sends giant health hazards to, harasses, and is otherwise horrible to his costars because lawl method” method-acting), and use it to satirize and take the piss out of both really OTT shippers and the people who act like shippers are Ruining Every Forever because they want to ship.

He’d also tell a nerd-bro that his favorite Gandalf quote is, “Do or do not, there is no try” but his second favorite Gandalf quote is, “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one,” and point to a picture of Michael Gambon’s Dumbledore and identify him as Gandalf while identifying a picture of the Fourth Doctor as Dumbledore, all just to annoy the nerd-bro, then yawn and saunter away while the nerd-bro has an angry meltdown.

Someday, Pete is going to troll the wrong person (again) and it will get him into really deep shit (again) that he won’t be able to wriggle out of by being charming and witty (like he usually does when he gets himself into these situations), but his take on this is, “Hey, as long as I don’t unwittingly troll a super-villain, it’s not actually that bad. What is the worst thing that could possibly happen.”

(Seb would point of that that’s exactly what he said before getting shocked into three major heart attacks by another mutant, which in turn triggered his first transformation into a nine-foot-tall wolf-man? And that he has said it in many, many other situations that immediately went from Bad to Worse to Shitty to Excremental to “the motherfucking shit-pits that trailed down from the hill of Golgotha” because saying things like, “what’s the worst that could happen” and, “what could possibly go wrong” is seriously tempting fate to kick your ass — but he will also admit that Pete has better luck on this front than he does, and that Pete has better coping skills, and that Peter Paolo Matthew Arden just has his shit more together than Seb does in general, so he’s somewhat less likely to end up in Golgotha levels of shit from this.)

(But, please, Pete? He would really, really, really like it if you could please act like you care whether or not you get into a mountain of shit from tempting fate by trolling people so liberally, like. Please. Pretty please. He loves you so much and knows that he can’t protect you from the ups and downs of life itself, but you’ve already had so much bad shit happen to you that Seb wants to keep you safe from as much unnecessary bad shit as possible, and…… please? (⊙︿⊙) )

cat pictures. dog pictures. wolf pictures. guinea pig pictures. iguana pictures. giraffe pictures. if there is a cute animal out there, being cute, it has a place on Pete’s blog. especially if he can find an excuse to tag Seb in them and go, “it you” (which he mostly limits to cats and, after Seb trips and falls into mutant werewolf superpowers, wolves — but he’s also gone, “it you” on pictures of lizards, sharks, lions [specifically, the “do lions blep” post], giraffes sticking out their weird blue tongues, tapirs, and pugs wearing sunglasses shaped like flowers).

Pete watched a bit of Community because Seb seemed really into it, and he thought it was okay, not enough to really reblog it that much but okay — but he definitely reblogged a gifset of Troy going, “awww, I wanna lick it” over a puppy from “Cooperative Calligraphy,” specifically so he could tag Seb and go, “awww, Princess, it you.”

In fairness, Seb deserves that and totally agrees that he deserves it because sometimes, he needs a chaperone when he goes to the local ASPCA shelter, or he might well try to adopt all of the dogs. Which Pete finds adorable in theory, and really endearing from his Princess…… but also, Seb? You have six babies already. You would have seven if you hadn’t lost Chewie at the end of April, assuming that you still adopted Cat without losing Chewie. Cool it. Chill. You do not need more dogs right now.

Pete has also been known to go, “awww, Princess, it us” on photosets of cats and dogs cuddling with each other, and “it me” on pictures of pugs embracing wine mom culture

(the latter of which, in retrospect, he kind of regrets doing. Like, he more or less stands by it, but it made Seb get Worried about him and go, “Are you okay? Do you need to talk? Because you were just getting on my ass about not making self-deprecating jokes about sobriety because it worries you, but now it kinda looks like you’re doing the exact same thing, and I’m just?? Should I be concerned, Pete? Do you want to talk about something? Are you okay??? I love you, you’re important to me, I can talk if you want to” which was not what Pete intended at all.

Like, on one hand, he hates making his best friend worry about him because if you ask Pete, it’s only natural for them to worry about each other, but both of them also need to work on worrying about themselves a bit more effectively. Because precedent says that both of them sort of suck at it, probably especially when they think that they’re doing okay with it.

On the other, he hates making Seb worry because Pete is still working on getting used to the feeling of someone caring about you. Like, even with Seb, who’s done things for him like blow off an entire weekend of shit to get down to Yonkers from Poughkeepsie and come out to Pete’s undergrad after he’d had a really messy breakup that caused a wave of drama in his entire friend-group, because Pete went to a small liberal arts school full of theatre kids (even among people who weren’t in the theatre program), and the gossip mill was ridiculous, and everything was a fucking disaster…

…so, Seb lied to his prep school teachers about a vaguely defined, “family emergency,” lied to his grandparents about not having any classes on Friday for some contrived reason to get them to give him a ride to the Metro-North station in Poughkeepsie, booked it down to Yonkers, and spent a three-day weekend with Pete.

Eventually, his grandparents found out what was going on, because Seb called his Mom that afternoon to go, “Hey, jsyk, I’m in Bronxville with Pete earlier than we’d planned this weekend, I’m probably going to use the credit card in the City tonight, we’ll be safe and stuff, but his ex-boyfriend’s a jerk and it’s screwing things up with all his friends too and he’s really upset and he needed somebody to be there with him who’s not involved in any of it” — but by that point, he and Pete had already had their three-day weekend, so it was just kinda whatever.

But, yeah. Like, Seb��s done stuff like that for Pete since they first really started getting to know each other, but unfortunately, Pete’s father and older brother are people who exist. And some of Pete’s dickbag ex-boyfriends are also people who exist. And between all of them, Pete’s wound up having a hard time with the concept of people genuinely caring about him, and even with Seb, he can bristle and go, “No, stop, this doesn’t make sense, why are you doing this, ‘caring about me as a person thing’”

And on the dorsal fin, Pete doesn’t like making Seb worry about him too much because when he’s at his best, Sebastian is a loving, generous, selfless person who is an amazing friend and cares about people for their own benefit even if he isn’t their friend…

but this is not an ideal world, and under all of that, Seb also has a problem where he over-relies on other people for a sense of stability and a sense of who the Hell he even is (the TL;DR of why is, “untreated clinical depression and some of the longterm side-effects thereof”)

and when things go wrong for the people Seb loves, things can start going wrong for Seb himself in short order, because he worries about them, feels their pain a bit too intensely (but not outside the human average enough to make it mutant-level empathy), and generally turns the volume on his human disaster-ness up to eleven.

Like, in the past year-and-a-half, Seb’s had ten separate stumbles off the wagon, and four of them started in close proximity to Something Bad happening to someone he loves — e.g., his Dad had a routine arthroscopic surgery, which went well enough on its own, but Abe had a bad post-op reaction to the anesthesia, and Marceline told her other three kids to basically tell Seb enough to keep him in the loop, but don’t get specific because he’ll worry. Unfortunately, this left Seb with a lot of questions, which made him worry, which made him feel helpless and miserable and scared…

……and then he dropped off the radar for thirty-six hours and when Todd went to his place to check on him, he found Seb coming down from being strung out on Percocet. And, like, okay, on the plus? Seb hadn’t taken all of what he’d gotten his hands on and had flushed the rest before Todd had even gotten there…… but he’d still been really strung out, and he was less than entirely enjoyable to be around while coming down (like, Todd called Nick, Seb’s sponsor, for him, and Seb spent most of their call groaning when Todd said something that was true but that Seb didn’t like him saying)

……and Pete got to see this when Todd called him, going, “Hey, it’s cool if you can’t, since I know you, like, just got back from your Mom-mandated rehab visit a couple weeks ago, but…… uh. Seb hasn’t eaten lately because he got strung out and forgot about it, and I’m not allowed to use his kitchen because he likes it un-exploded, and I don’t want him to be alone, so, like? Can you maybe come over here and cook something? Or take his credit card and get take-out? Or if not, just say so and I’ll try calling Margot again, but…… pleeeeease?”

So, yeah, uh. Pete would really like to not be the cause for that sort of thing, because he doesn’t want to do that to his Princess — especially since you can sometimes get Seb to not totally lose his head about things, and in fairness, he is slowly getting better, but he’s also a stubborn jackass about calming down [which Pete can’t actually judge him for, since Pete is arguably even worse on the, “stubborn jackass” front sometimes, but still] — and also because it would really fuck Pete’s mental health up for Seb to go off the rails. Partly because Seb would be off the rails, and partly because Pete would feel guilty about it.

So, yeah. Long story short, Pete has a lot of feelings about why he regrets going, “it me” on the picture of the pug embracing wine mom culture.)

Golden Girls anything. He’s only even seen a few episodes of it, but he loves it anyway. He has often gone, “Princess, it us” on posts that featured both Blanche and Dorothy, but no one’s really sure if he’s Dorothy and Seb is Blanche, or if it’s the other way around. Pete isn’t even sure, but he’d probably tell you that it depends on the post.

In his defense, both he and Seb have responded to, “better late than [blank]” with the answer, “pregnant!” before, and generally, they both have decent claim to either role.

Seb personally feels like he’s probably more like Rose, but Pete refuses to let him be Rose. Todd is Rose. Todd has to be Rose because as much as Pete likes Betty White, he’s not actually that fond of Rose, and views her in much the same way that he views Todd: they’re kiiiiind of cute sometimes when they aren’t trying too hard and they bring something to the group that Pete would miss if it went away…… but they can also be really fucking nerve-grating, whoops.

Also, Seb isn’t allowed to be Blanche for her, “I looooove a tight man! A tight man with cast-iron pecs… thighs that could choke a bear… butt you could eat breakfast off of… hnnnnnnnnnngh” line

For one thing, Seb isn’t allowed to be Blanche for that line because he’s not discriminatory or anything with body type, but his favorite exes have all been at least a little bit chubby, so like… the exact opposite of a tight man.

For another thing, he can’t say the line right. He doesn’t suck at it or anything, but it’s just missing something. Probably conviction. Because Seb’s preference is not actually for a tight man and he’s putting less effort into the characterization than Pete is.

With anyone else, Seb would hold that he’s putting less effort into the characterization because it’s just supposed to be fun, but…… This is fun for Pete, so whatever. Do your Dramatic™ thing, Pete. Enjoy it.

the first person they followed: the lgbtlaughs blog

what kind of theme they’d have: light background, dark text, straightforward with easy navigation and space for a sidebar pic and links. Not too fancy, but clean and nice-looking.

what kind of text posts they make at 2am: “oh my god it is motherfucking tech week why are these idiots still calling LINE”

#that story with the mutants that i should find a working title for fml #pete arden: dramatic disaster #mine: writing #mine: shitposting #memes for ts #ocs tag #oc questions #tumblrisms #pete x seb #pete & todd #drugs ref// mental health issues ref// eating disorders ref// abuse ref// addiction ref//#brief passing mentions of pet death & medical/surgery things

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