#interacting w/Rafael
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@allspcrk has followed you
“Good mornin to you! You must be one of the humans that cooperate with the Autobots, a pleasure to meet you~”
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Raf: talking about fnaf theories and murdered children
Ratchet and bee: slightly concerned but intrigued
had to draw this
also idk if what i wrote is correct but im too lazy to check ☠️
#its been a while since i interacted w fnaf theories#rafael esquivel#bumblebee#ratchet#tfp#transformers prime#ask#art by rico
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ok rwrb thoughts under the cut <3
tbh i had to watch most of this movie with one hand over my eye and i was not. even going to reread the book because i don’t actually care about it much anymore but about twenty or so minutes into the movie? i literally stopped it and skimmed half the book finished the movie and then finished the book. so it’s possible that this influenced my whole experience of the movie but i remembered the book super well anyway and either way i think the thing i would have been most mad about is HOW COULD THEY LEAVE OUT JUNE and who tf is miguel omg. imagine deciding to combine two women into one character just because they “play the same role in alex’s life” and then not even doing it that well. nora isn’t even IN this movie she doesn’t even have a CHARACTER they just shoehorn her and pez together and give them five min of screentime. bea doesnt even have much of a character either i also thought maybe she and nora were going to be friends but no that disappeared after the first 15min. and because june doesn’t exist and because rafael luna doesn’t exist and because nora barely exists (all of whom are the main poc characters in the book btw) alex’s character is not half as nuanced as it could be. his arc about realising he’s bi is totally missing which is great…also his actor’s enunciation was very puzzling at times but i forgive him because of all the times i got distracted staring at his eyelashes and he was good at times tho henry’s actor is probably the best actor in the movie (not a tall bar btw but he’s way better than uma thurman GIRL WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH THAT ACCENT) and it’s not that they don’t have chemistry or fun sweet romcom moments it’s just that i’m missing so much. romance. im tired of modern romance novels and movies having their leads get together super fast without spending much time on characterization and without even having much capital R-romance in the first place. where is the e-mo-tion in the immortal words of miss carly rae jepsen…like why did they leave out so much of the emails i cannot believe i watched so many random voice-overs and they couldn’t include the emails. also the small random change that bothered me the most is that they changed their first meeting being rio at the olympics to the climate melbourne conference (?????) and made their whole relationship pre-movie a lot less interesting. umm they did good with the interview and their interactions pre and post the cake but then they abandoned all of that half an hour in. do think the physical comedy is always way more fun to watch in a visual medium like that cake scene was hilarious they were just worse at the emotional beats. guys they used bad reputation 😭😭😭😭 i had to pause at that point…i had to pause and recover for ages. the get low scene contained a lot of Choices. the Choices were all very interesting and im not sure what more can be said about them. the beginning was fairly solid then everything sort of went downhill felt like i was watching a train wreck. mildly entertaining and occasionally moving train wreck but regardless a train wreck. btw let no one claim the political commentary in the novel is good but at least it slightly exists. the politics in the movie are completely spineless and extremely confused. yes it’s an amazon prime royalty romcom so what can u expect but they just hovered on the threshold of criticism. when they didn’t actually show a crowd of people supporting them or w/e but just showed the reflection of them in the window i almost started laughing. alex’s speech at the end lacked any subtlety at all and made no sense (why tf would he make a speech coming out + explaining his relationship with henry Before he talked to henry or the royal family???) the script is like constantly having characters say really obvious things. shoutout to stephen fry’s line delivery at least. there was a perfume genius cover of can’t help falling in love (it was supposed to be your song that played there anyway???). what more can be said.
#rwrb spoilers#tldr i got too invested in this movie that i literally expected to be bad from the on-go 😭😭😭#WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE BAGPIPES DURING THE POLO SCENE…..THE BAGPIPES……THE CLOSE-UPS…..
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cami | she/her | 21 | argentina
hello! this is a sideblog for all things interactive fiction--choice of games, hosted games, visual novels, romance club, playchoices, love island the game, couple up! & too hot to handle
i follow and like from @celticwoman ♡
feel free to shoot me an ask (or dm) whenever! i'd love to talk ^-^
♡ favourites under the cut!
♡ interactive fiction (text-based) ♡
when twilight strikes / blane rekner & arion devereux
the exile / vethna mevnrael & sabir du vaelas
shepherds of haven / trouble alder & red antiqua
the wayhaven chronicles / farah hauville & nate sewell
a tale of crowns / rêzan
♡ playchoices (books) ♡
hero / perfect match / the heist: monaco / platinum / mother of the year / the nanny affair / a courtesan of rome / wishful thinking / crimes of passion
♡ playchoices (love interests) ♡
maxwell beaumont / quinn kelly / maria flores / jax matsuo / hayden young / andy kang / sonia alves / annelyse adair / ajay bhandari / kenji katsaros / rafael aveiro / prince hamid
♡ romance club (books) ♡
theodora / arcanum / psi / w: time catcher / the one / chasing you 2 / shadows of saintfour / vying for versailles
♡ romance club (love interests) ♡
maria theresa / walter / friedrich / saraswati / bert / charlotte / sam / livius / vesper / jack / marcel / seonghwa / heather
♡ love island the game ♡
jake (1) / bobby & marisol (s2) / camilo (s3) / angie (s4) / lulu & gabi (s5) / chloe (s6) / rafael (s7) / jin & claudia (s8)
♡ couple up! ♡
colin (s1) / stanley (s2) / laksh (s3)
♡ too hot to handle ♡
henri (s1) / antoine (s2)
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Drained (3/?)
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC
Word Count: 2.3k
Warnings; Rating: Angst; General
Premise: Serena makes moves and Ethan finds out.
Author’s Note: I'm sorry ☠️ I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading 💖 **HSM reference included
Serena comes to a halt in the middle of a crosswalk. Rebecca continues to lay out the terms of the contract, but time stands still as Serena drones out, shocked.
An offer.
This is exactly what she wanted. A dream come true for her younger self.
So why does she feel so conflicted?
~~~~~~
Serena hangs up the phone just as she’s stepping into her apartment, all of her roommates, along with Bryce and Rafael, are gathered in the living room, watching a movie.
She stands at the edge, absorbing the laughter and camaraderie filling the space. Silently taking in what she would be giving up.
Although becoming Head of the Diagnostics Team has been far from what she expected, she’s comfortable here — it’s familiar. She knows the ins and outs of Edenbrook now, a far cry from the intern that got lost in the hallways. She has an incredible friend group that would drop everything if she needed them. She knows the language, the culture, the unspoken rules and etiquette.
She’d go from a three hour flight home to being across the ocean. She’d miss birthdays, holidays, and impromptu get-togethers. She'd miss the mundane things: days out in Boston Common, going on shopping trips with the girls, getting lost in the farmer's markets.
But this was something she had wanted her entire life. What she’d worked nearly a decade for.
By everyone else’s standards, for anyone on the outside looking in, she’s flourished in her three and half years at Edenbrook. Yet she feels like a trained falcon: tethered and only able to fly when told how high and how far.
She owes it to herself to make her dream a reality, to spread her wings, and not only fly, but soar.
Her eyes grow misty the longer she stands there, contemplating all of the things that would change. It isn’t until she’s deep in her spiral that Elijah calls out her name.
“Serena, are you okay?”
The backlight from the television reflects the tears in her eyes. “I’m really gonna miss you guys.”
Understandably, she’s met with a room full of confused expressions. While they know about her struggles as Head of the Diagnostics Team, they don’t know about the events of the last forty-eight hours.
Serena walks towards them, plopping down in the middle of the floor, and begins to fill them in.
By that night, Serena had signed a year-long contract, shipping out in six weeks.
~~~~~~
The next few days are a blur: making phone calls to potential movers and storage unit companies and having conversations with her new team.
It seems as though Ethan finally took the hint that she wanted space. His interactions are gentle, but few and far in between.
Serena knows it’s not fair to keep him in the dark, but she’s still too hurt and overwhelmed to bring herself to do the right thing.
Ethan interprets her space as her just needing to work through it first, that she’d be ready to talk soon.
How wrong he was.
~~~~~~
“Great work today, Carrick. There might be some hope left for you after all.”
Tobias chuckles.
“Gotta keep the lead on her toes!” He does a little boxing move, causing Serena to laugh. “This will be my team before you know it.”
Serena sobers at that comment, remembering the big news she has yet to share with anyone other than her family and roommates.
Tobias notices the sudden change in energy, a cloud of sadness settling over them.
“Tobias… take a seat. There’s something we need to discuss.”
His brows furrow and his head tilts to the side in confusion as they both take a seat at the round table. Serena huffs out a long breath, sitting with her back ramrod straight, hands clasped in front of her. Any and all traces of joviality are gone.
“This should be your team."
“Serena, I was just kidding. You know I respect you as Hea—”
“I know. This has nothing to do with that. I wasn't ready then and I'm not ready now."
“You’re doing a fanta—”
Serena's hand shoots up to interrupt him.
“It's okay. I know you see the way I’m being treated and have heard some… not very nice things said about me.”
“Well, yeah, but they’re all just boomers who have a stick wedged so far up their asses that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a decent human being.”
Serena snorts. “While that may be true, you know it’s more than that.”
Tobias leans forward, placing a hand over Serena’s that she hasn't stopped wringing.
He looks at her earnestly. “You are doing an amazing job. And when have you ever cared what other people think? I say fuck ‘em.”
“If only it were that easy.”
She brings a hand out from under his, placing it on top.
“It has been made very clear, time and time again, that I am not wanted here.”
“That’s not tru—”
“I’ve accepted another position.”
Tobias blinks rapidly at Serena.
“With Médecins Sans Frontières.”
His jaw goes slack.
“In Myanmar.”
At this, Tobias’ eyes look like they’re about ready to pop out of his head.
“No.”
“What?”
“I reject this.”
“Tobias… This is something I need to do.”
“You’re an invaluable member of this hospital! Anyone who means anything knows that — I know that, the DT knows that, the Chief—”
At that, Serena scoffs and rolls her eyes.
“No, he doesn’t.”
“What are you ta—”
“I’ve already signed the contract. I’ll deploy in five weeks.”
“What?”
A booming voice echoes around the room. Serena jumps backwards, extricating her hands from Tobias’, and looks at the floor.
This is so not the way I wanted to tell him.
Serena gives Tobias a curt nod, letting him know that it’s okay for him to leave the room.
“Page me if you need anything,” he whispers before exiting.
“Serena, what the hell is going on?”
“Ethan, sit down.”
“No! I’m not going to ‘sit down.’ Tell me what’s going on right now.”
Serena sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’ve accepted a position with Médecins Sans Frontières in Myanmar. I start in five weeks, so you can count this as my four week notice.”
“Is this one of those pranks from social media that I don’t understand?”
“Do I look like I’m joking?”
“Well, you must be. You were just made Head of the Diagnostics Team! This is your dream job.”
“It was. It’s not anymore.”
“Oh, but moving to Myanmar is?!”
Serena gets out of her chair. “You’re missing the point.”
“Then enlighten me!”
Ethan knows he needs to get a grip and control his emotions, but the utter fear coursing through him is paralyzing.
“I have been so busy supporting you in the last three years that I lost sight of myself.
“And I’m not saying it’s your fault, it’s not, I happily put you first. I wanted to put you first. With Naveen, Louise, Edenbrook possibly shutting down, everything.
“But I had always dreamed of leaving our planet a better place than we’d found it. Of traveling the world while volunteering with different organizations… Did you even know that?" Serena whispers.
“You’re making a difference here.”
Serena shakes her head furiously. “It’s not the same! Life kept getting in the way and I lost myself in the process, don't you see?!”
“So what?! You felt sorry for me, is that it?! You saw me as some pet project — someone you could fix and mold into your perfect vision, so you stayed. My savior."
The word drips with disdain, mockery, disgust.
Ethan expects Serena to yell obscenities at him, but when she speaks, eyes locked on his, she's deathly calm.
Which causes Ethan to become even more frantic.
"I never wanted to save you. You were never broken, not to me. The things you see as flawed and jagged all fit together perfectly to create you.
"'The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.' And you, as a whole, as your entire being, is the man I fell in love with.
"But my love for you has nothing to do with the struggles I've faced in my short tenure as lead.
"I've done my absolute best to carry this team to new heights, to carry on the legacy and the mission. But it's become practically impossible to do when everyone in this hospital constantly undermines me, questions my competence, and makes bets on when I'll fail."
"Not everyone. I don't—"
Ethan is interrupted by a barking laugh of disbelief.
"It seems you've already forgotten, so let me remind you."
~ 2 Months Ago ~
Serena exhaustedly walks through the door of Ethan’s apartment, the tail-wagging greeting of Jenner always a welcome, and much needed, dose of serotonin.
Ethan follows closely behind the golden retriever, greeting Serena with a lopsided grin and kiss.
They have a nightly routine whenever she stays over, which is more often than not nowadays, and tonight is no different.
Ethan notices that Serena is quieter than usual as they go through their ritual. He doesn’t bring it up, but keeps a close eye on her, ready to talk if and when she feels ready.
Cuddled up on the couch after dinner, watching some brain-numbing show, is when Serena decides it's a good time. She pushes herself off of Ethan’s chest and sits criss-cross applesauce as she turns to face him. Her hands are in her lap, fidgeting in nervousness, internally trying to hype herself up.
Ethan places one hand over hers in a reassuring gesture, patiently waiting for her to speak.
“I’ve, uh—” Serena clears her throat. “I’ve been having some management challenges. Senior personnel in other departments have created a hostile work environment that isn’t letting me adequately step into the role as Head of the Diagnostics Team.
“There is no level of trust and this is shown day in and day out, in any decisions I make; I receive constant pushback, refusal to cooperate, and at times, am completely ignored.”
Serena’s heart is hammering in her chest and her palms are sweaty as she waits with bated breath for Ethan’s response.
“Tension is never one-sided. Be careful and cognizant of how you are treating others as well.”
Serena is taken aback. “That’s not me and you know it. There was practically no handover period, let alone adequate training. I was left to my own devices. Everyone assumed I would ‘figure it out,’ but it seems to have been forgotten by literally everyone that I don’t have anything to base this on in order to ‘figure it out!’”
Ethan sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Is that what this is about? I can’t just give you handouts because you’re my girlfriend.”
“When have I ever asked you for a ‘handout?’” Serena stands from her spot on the couch. “Why are you being so unsupportive? Don’t join the ranks of the people who think I slept my way to the top,” Serena says, a challenge in her tone.
Ethan is stunned into silence, bewilderment in his eyes.
The tension between them fills the penthouse, engulfing them in a silent standoff, neither backing down.
Until Ethan says something that completely breaks Serena’s resolve.
“Maybe you’re not mature enough to handle this yet. Perhaps I should have given the team to Tobias.”
Ethan’s statement is coming from a place of hurt, her previous flippant remark cutting deep, as if his greatest fear concerning their relationship is becoming a reality. But it is also coming from a place of mentorship, invoking the “tough love” tactic he is so renowned for. The tone reminiscent of the very first day they met, following the thoracotomy in the waiting area.
Tough love that pushes her to be better, to reach the staggering heights he knows she’s capable of, to fulfill her full potential.
But all Serena wishes for is the floor to open up and swallow her whole. She wishes she hadn’t said anything at all, that there was a time machine that would take her back. Because how foolish of her to assume that Ethan could set aside his role as Chief to be the loving and supportive boyfriend she needed, not only in this moment, but also in the past four months.
"You single-handedly tore a wound that I've been bleeding from ever since. I wasn’t confiding in you as Dr. Harlow; I was confiding in you as Serena. As a woman who, in that moment, needed the man she loved to love her.
Ethan is utterly horrified by the conversation from a couple months back and he grows ever more appalled with himself as Serena continues to put her feelings into words — yes, taking over as Chief was a bigger task than he had anticipated, but how could he not have noticed her cries for help?
*"What about us?"
Of all the thoughts and emotions swirling within him, this is the only one Ethan cares about right now.
“What about everything we’ve been through?” Ethan presses.
"You told me that you don't need me to take care of you. I realize now that I threw myself on the fire to keep you warm, but you'd say that you never asked me to. So I'll keep myself warm from now on."
“What am I supposed to do? I don’t want to lose you.”*
The words come out jumbled, rushed beyond measure, as if they'd be lost to time forever if Ethan didn't get them out right that instant.
His heart is beating like a hummingbird's wings, but it stops dead in the next second.
"You've been too distracted to realize that you've already lost me a long time ago.
But you got what you wanted after all — this is Tobias' team now.”
#ethan ramsey#ethan x mc#ethan ramsey x mc#open heart#playchoices#choices open heart#open heart fanfiction#ethan ramsey open heart#dr ethan ramsey#dr. ethan ramsey#ethan fic
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Her Everything Ch 2
Warnings; Language.
Over the next couple of weeks you were more than thankful that things weren’t awkward with Barba. You knew there’d be a chance the whole cuddling thing would throw a wrench into whatever amount of friendship you had previously forming. Neither of you brought it up, and were both buried deep in work for the first bit afterward you didn’t really see each other at all.
You were supposed to be going over a perp’s financials, but you found yourself continually reading over the same line on the screen, eyes glazing over the information as your mind began to wander. You liked Rafael, that was for certain, once you’d broken down his exterior wall you’d began to notice the other layers of him, including the one that was devilishly handsome. Being a professional, the thought had never really crossed your mind. Sure, you admired his exquisite three piece suits, the way they were tailored perfectly to his strong form, those piercing green eyes, the confident slightly cocky smirk, nearly always splayed across his lips. You just admired from afar. He was simply the A.D.A that you playfully bantered with during work hours.
Until that night..you got to know more about the real Rafael, the Rafael that grew up in the Bronx, was a scholarship kid, had survived his fair share of struggles and fought like hell to get to where he was today. The Rafael Barba that watches Legally Blonde at least once a year, the man who willingly let you curl up against him in order to feel better, to feel appreciated, and like you weren’t alone. You began to entertain the idea, daydreams floating through your head at what it would be like dating the elusive Rafael Barba. It couldn’t just be all black tie galas, evening’s spent at the theatre, summers spent on yachts surrounded by Manhattan’s finest. When you’d first met, that’s what your assumption would’ve been, that, just like so many prosecutors in town, his lifestyle as lavish as all of theirs.
Now you wondered how often he saw his Mami, if he helped his Abuelita with groceries each week (though if the woman was anywhere near as stubborn as he was…) if he kept in touch with anyone he grew up with in the Bronx. Obviously there would be lots of late nights, cancelled dates, missed celebrations, but it wasn’t like your career wasn’t just as demanding, not to mention you understood. It was half the reason you didn’t date, it just wasn’t worth it anymore. They usually ran scared when they found out what you did for a living, and if they stuck around long enough to actually make a commitment there was the constant complaining of you spending too much time on the job, leaving in the middle of dates or the middle of the night. You always tried to reason with them, explaining that you had to helppeople, and this was a 24/7 job, you couldn’t just not answer the phone. The one boyfriend who had done his best to stick through it left the second he was introduced to Amaro, unaware that your partner was not only a man but also as flirtatious as Nick was. After that, you’d simply called it quits on the thought of having someone all together.
Your mind started to drift into the pitiful small string of attempted conquests, the men picked up from bars in an attempt to distract yourself from being lonely. The usually boring, one and done pump interactions before you kicked their asses to the curb. An image of Rafael’s hands flashed through your mind and you shifted uncomfortably in your chair, this was not the time or the place to be thinking about jumping in bed with a coworker, yet here you were. His embrace had been so welcomed, warm and comforting, you could only imagine what it would feel like to be wrapped around his body while he plunged into you. You’d just tugged your lip into your mouth at the thought when Cragen’s voice caused you to jump, coming back to reality.
“Wilkes! Barba wants all the files for the Thompson case by the end of the day, take ‘em over there once you’re done with them.”
“Yeah Cap.” You called back, hoping your heated cheeks weren’t visible to everyone in the bullpen. The Thompson case files were already completed thankfully. You did a quick flip through them, making sure all the information was there, stopping to add a quick post it note to the third page about something that would establish pattern. Grabbing your phone you pulled on your coat, quickly checking the time on your watch, it was just past noon, you hoped Rafael wouldn’t be out by the time you got there.
Giving a warm smile to Carmen you quickly knocked on Barba’s door before entering the office, gently shutting the door behind you. Rafael glanced up from his paperwork, despite knowing someone from SVU was coming, and knowing it would probably be you, he still felt his heart beat a little bit faster at the sight of you.
“Sorry if I took too long, I made a pit stop.” You smiled, holding up a bag of take out as you moved through the room.
“Thought I asked for case files, not lunch.” He smirked back at you, causing you to giggle softly.
“Don’t worry I brought those too,” you dropped the files onto his desk as you took a seat in the chair across from him, “They just come with a side of ginger beef.” You began unpacking the take out, placing the container and a pair of chopsticks on an empty spot of his desk.
“So, what? This case completely circumstantial? Felt like you had to bribe me with food?” You chuckled at his sass, settling back in the chair, pulling a leg under you as you popped open the lid of your lunch open.
“No..” You shrugged, munching on a bite of noodles, “Just figured I owed you for the other night.” He definitely felt his heart rate pick up at that. It was the first mention of the evening you’d spend snuggled in each other’s arms since it happened, and he would certainly be lying if he said he didn’t want it to happen again.
“Well now I’m just gonna have to owe you for this.”
“Then all you have to do is buy me a drink on Friday.” You shot him a smirk that caused his cheeks to flush slightly, ever thankful your attention was immediately drawn to your lunch instead of him.
“Oh?” He cocked a brow, “Well I guess Tavern 29 does have a pretty decent happy hour.”
“Tavern 29, really? That your style Counsellor?” You couldn’t help the playfull grin on your cheeks, enjoying the back and fourth extending into flirting territory today.
“They’ve got an incredible prosciutto fig flatbread.” Your face scrunched at the thought, not sounding appealing in the least. Rafael laughed, “they’ve also got your favoured parmesan truffle fries.”
“Sold!” You smiled across at him, mentally marking it in your calendar, knowing that plans could change at the last minute. A comfortable silence blanketed over the office as you both dug into your meals, eager to get some fuel into your bodies. After a few moments, he spoke again,
“Your partner busy today or you still flying solo?” You glanced up, giving a soft sigh,
“Nick’s still out, Cragen’s orders.” You swallowed down a gulp of water, “He’s a wreck. I’m not surprised, I mean…finding out you have ten year old you never knew about…that’s rough. Family means everything to him, he’s upset he wasn’t part of Gil’s life from the start, he’s stressed about how Maria and Zara are going to deal with the entire thing, it’s just a giant mess.”
“I can imagine.” You took a moment of pause, chewing over some chicken,
“You ever think about any unknown kids out there?” Rafael nearly froze, a scrunched face meeting your gaze.
“Kids of mine?”
“Well yeah…” you started, “I mean, it’s not like I can have any mystery kids, I think I would know. But..it’s a little harder with men..” He paused slightly, staring down into the take out container as he thought through his history,
“I..guess I’ve never thought about it.” His eyes finally met yours again, “I mean, I’ve always been safe but..you never know when something might not work.”
“You’d wanna know, right? I get special circumstances, you birth your rapists baby, he doesn’t deserve shit, an abusive ex or partner, fuck him. But..if it was just a Tinder hook up gone wrong, don’t they have a right to know?”
“Legally, if they’re not on the birth certificate, nothing can be done.” You outwardly laughed at that, a sparkle in your eyes when you met Rafael’s.
“You know I’m not talking about legalities right now Barba.” He held his hands up in submission,
“Okay, okay you win. I’d want to know. It might not be something that’s on my plate right now, but I’d never want to leave someone out there alone without my support in a situation that was half my fault. Plus Mami would murder me if I did.” You chuckled at his reply,
“See…Rafael Barba isn’t all cold and ice like SVU thinks he is.” He didn’t miss the gleam in your eyes at your comment, the air in the room heavy with flirtation again.
“They can think all they want, but you know I’m not like that.” Your face softened as you dug at the bottom of your take out container,
“That’s very true…you want me to tell them about Legally Blonde?”
“No!” He shot back faster than you could imagine, his heart jumping into his throat as you laughed gleefully at his reaction.
“Don’t worry, I won’t. Like I said, your secret’s safe with me Rafael.” His name on your tongue was like fucking silk to his ears, he could practically feel the peak of his ears pinken at the sound.
“Good.” He shot you a smile, “how about you, you holding up okay?” You paused, feeling the tightness in your chest increase slightly,
“Yeah…It’s a yearly thing I have to deal with. I think this year was just worse cause it was all over the media. Thank you..for your help.”
Your wary eyes met his across the desk and you felt that same emotion you’d felt when he’d hugged you in the bar. You wanted nothing more than the desk to vanish, to be held against his frame, you couldn’t help but imagine what his lips would feel like against yours, how his arms would tug you to him tightly, the taste of his tongue as it probed into your mouth. You jumped when your phone went off, quickly checking the message, thankful for the excuse to tear your eyes away from the emerald gaze.
“We caught a lead on the Dorsey case, I’ve gotta run.” You murmured, making sure to gather all the things you needed that you’d came with as you tugged on your coat.
“Thanks for lunch.” Rafael stood, with the intention of walking you to the door, but you were much to fast for him, “I’ll see you Friday?” He practically called across the office, you tossed a grin over your shoulder as you nearly ran past Carmen’s desk,
“Of course.” You called back, hurrying from the building.
Rafael gave a heavy sigh, dropping down into his desk chair, his plan on continuing on his opening arguments entirely useless now. He knew he’d be too distracted by the image of your face, the smile spread across your cheeks, the way you bantered with him, that turned from playful to flirtatious. More importantly, the way that your body was so welcoming against his, how natural it had felt cuddling you, like you actually belonged in his arms. He hadn’t felt like that in ages, in years, he was hesitant to explore the option, not wanting to ruin the relationship you already had, but he couldn’t help it. As he tried to work through arguments that afternoon his mind kept drifting to you, wondering what a life would be like with you. There was no doubt in his mind that there had been something sparked between the two of you, he just needed to know if you felt it too, and he desperately didn’t want to have to wait until Friday to find out
#rafael barba#rafael barba x reader#law and order svu#svu#her everything#law and order#law and order special victims unit
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Okay I get your disbelief. But I'm looking forward to LBAF v the most because I interact w you almost everyday and malec and all their babies and grandbabies live in my mind rent free.
And kudos to Rafael and Achilles for all the wonderful work they've done. In my mind they're both kinda similar bc we don't really know much about Achilles but I'm very excited to find out. I'm even more excited too see Kincaid's storyline and read his pov for the same reason that you mentioned. Reading lbaf iv kinda reminded me of reading quaad. No matter how many things get better, the Clave still has a long way to go and all we can hope is that for every Kyle there is a Max just like for every Zara there is an Alec (I hope that makes sense).
Ugh I was hoping Dorian was alive. But i already love Aticus. But Chairman is still alive right?
Also good luck completing your report. I hope you find the time to relax and explore the city and meet new people too!
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes to all of this.
I am so so excited about it too. I can't wait to write about Achilles because he is such an unproblematic king omg.
Chairman is still alive hehe no one knows how and no ones dares ask either.
Thank you for the love. I keep coming back to tumble every half hour as a treat after writing a couple of paragraphs lol.
PS - I am more excited for the lbaf 5 trailer than the fic SORRY.
PPS - Can't wait to relax and explore but no to new people oof I've had enough of people for a lifetime lol.
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🫂🫂 my friend i love youuuu! i think you're gorgeous, funny, intelligent, and overall just a great person to interact with you. i love HOW YOU STAND UP FOR YOUR FAVORITES !!! its nice seeing someone so passionate for their interest yk. i love your thirsty tags on posts, i love your hate posts (usually for my club LMFAOOO ☠️), i love your posts on things that distress you, tick you off etc etc. keep being u my friend, it's a joy 2 see u on my homepage. best rafael “rafinha” alcantara enjoyer on this goddamn website/app
JEJSJSJSJSJSKW as rafa’s wife (real) i gotta stick by him. this is just sooo nice to hear like this is what tumblr is about🫶🏽🫶🏽 not be soppy on main but like i love y’all fr maneee. hearing you like listening to my random intrusive thoughts is so validating like wow there’s an audience for that???:?::!:!£: thanks for being in this lovely lil corner of the fandom w me ily fren🫶🏽💖🫂
#i think i know who this is and ily down !!!#lemme not get emo at midnight actually#ask#anon#tag game
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American Truck Simulator Mods - ATS Mods - download
💾 ►►► DOWNLOAD FILE 🔥🔥🔥
ATS Other. ATS Maps. Descriptions: Changelog 0. Descriptions: No map dlc is required, but we recommend to use it. Rafael add-on is San Rafael Add-on v1. Coast to Coast Map v2. Great Dane Flatbed. Kalyn Siebert trailer for ATS. East 7-Axle End Dump Trailer v1. More B-Train Options v1. Westernstar SB [1. Kenworth W Highway Killer v5. Kenworth T Next Gen Truck v1. Western Star Legacy Sleeper v6. Freightliner Cascadia Legacy v3. Porsche This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Read More. Do you like American Truck Simulator? Different thematic plugins are categorized so you can handily choose from thousands of cool ATS mods. Do you want to improve the exterior or the cab of the truck? Looking for a new American truck? Looking for a new trailer? Or maybe looking for a good sound pack? Effective and exciting plugins will help you create a special environment of game. A multitude of different options and very fast, easy installation. Try it now! Descriptions: This mod adds a number of real world billboards to the game. It is Great Dane Flatbed 11 Jun, John Doe agrees with me. There are better things to do Yeah, John, shut up! Everyone hates you. Get out of there Accept Decline Cookie Settings. I consent to the use of following cookies:. Cookie Declaration About Cookies. Necessary 0 Marketing 0 Analytics 0 Preferences 0 Unclassified 0. Necessary cookies help make a website usable by enabling basic functions like page navigation and access to secure areas of the website. The website cannot function properly without these cookies. We do not use cookies of this type. Marketing cookies are used to track visitors across websites. The intention is to display ads that are relevant and engaging for the individual user and thereby more valuable for publishers and third party advertisers. Analytics cookies help website owners to understand how visitors interact with websites by collecting and reporting information anonymously. Preference cookies enable a website to remember information that changes the way the website behaves or looks, like your preferred language or the region that you are in. Unclassified cookies are cookies that we are in the process of classifying, together with the providers of individual cookies. Cookies are small text files that can be used by websites to make a user's experience more efficient. The law states that we can store cookies on your device if they are strictly necessary for the operation of this site. For all other types of cookies we need your permission. This site uses different types of cookies. Some cookies are placed by third party services that appear on our pages. Cookie Settings.
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have to admit, i’m gonna miss this series and this cast... so here’s a tribute to the edenbrook crew! 💕and thanks to the community here for making playing these books so fun because seeing playchoices trending every friday always makes me giggle 🤩🤩
#playchoices#open heart#bryce lahela#jackie varma#rafael aveiro#aurora emery#oph WILL always hold a special place in my heart bc of all the mutuals and interactions i had w people bc of it :')#my art#mal esposito
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"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 2*
Part 1
Part 3
Y'all IDK what it is about this story but I can just write and write and write. This one ended up being 11 pages [on a google doc] And I only stopped because it's 2:15 am.
I hope you guys like this, but I just want to clarify: This isn't a Barisi fic. I'm sorry, if you're looking for that, just...this isn't it. I mean they do interact and it'll be fun, but they will not be ending up together.
That being said, enjoy this new chapter! I'm debating on how pathetic enamored Sonny is, I don't think I'm gonna go that deep. No worries, people.
As always let me know if you want to be added/deleted off the tag list!! <3
Tag List
@madamsnape921
@lolliepopsicle
@chasingeverybreakingwave
@milkshqke
@wanniiieeee
@word-scribbless
@gibbs274
@sassyada
@aprildecker-blog
@bookishfanfic
@stars-in-the-skies-world
@stars-trash-18
@omgsuperstarg
@objection-argumentative
-------
"Y/N, I'm so happy for you and Barba. You make the cutest couple," Sonny beamed at you while you were wrapped in Rafael's arms, huge smiles on all of your faces.
"Thank you Sonny, that means so much." You gave him a warm hug.
"Yeah….and you'll make the cutest couple in HELL!" All of a sudden Sonny pushed both you and Rafael off a cliff.
You were falling to your death when you woke up to your professor glaring at you.
"Have a nice nap, Miss Y/N?" He scowled at you.
"Um," You cleared your throat and straightened up at your desk. "Yes sir,"
"Good," he huffed as he headed to the front of the classroom once more. "Maybe now we can continue without your snoring,"
You heard the students around you snicker at his comments as You sunk lower into your desk and waited for class to end. It had been a long train ride home and then a drive to your apartment last night, you hadn't gotten home until around 2 am and had this 8 am class. As soon as the professor dismissed your class you booked it out of the class and out into the parking lot of your community college.
"Ugh, could this day get any--" before you could even finish your thought you got your answer. Your phone beeped with a text from Rafael:
RAFA: Hey killer, how's the bullshit county? 😉
That was the nice thing, then just as you were about to text him back your phone lit up.
SONNY BOI CALLING
"Shit!" You hissed to no one. "How does he know?!"
"Ahem….Heyyy, cuz," You answered it with your best nonchalant voice. That of course sounded totally chalant.
"Hey sunshine," His voice sounded relaxed, thank God.
"What's up?" You tried keeping your tone light as you neared your car.
"Well y'know I was just thinkin, I feel real bad about standing you up last night,"
"Oh, Son it's no big deal really," the fact that he felt guilty about anything made you feel even more guilty.
"No, I know you have a busy schedule and it takes a lot to get into the City and I just blew you off," He kept on with the guilt train.
"You didn't blow me off Son you had work. I get that--" You unlocked your car and got in, starting it so your windows would thaw. And your whole body.
"Well I wanna make it up to you," He cut you off.
"Oh?" your voice fell short. This couldn't be good.
"Yeah, my boss-- well he's not really My boss but Mr. Barba--"
Oh shit. Barba? Was Barba having a party? Why wouldn't He tell you that? Wait why WOULD he tell you that? Stupid. Wait, what was Sonny saying?
".... birthday, so you could be like my date," you caught the tail end of his invite.
"Birthday?" You repeated like a parrot. It was Barba's birthday? Oh god. You were really trying not to focus on how old he was. Don't ask. For the love of god don't say it Sonny.
"Yeah don't worry you don't need to get him anything, I got it covered," Sonny assured you.
Well, that was one way you could figure out just how much your cousin cared about his "idol". The more expensive the gift, the stronger the feelings were. You wondered whether you should ask him now or wait for the surprise. Maybe you should ask now, then his answer should tell you what you'd be getting into.
*So what did you get this 'non boss' of yours?" You asked slyly.
"Oh," now Sonny's voice dropped. "Well I, I don't wanna say,"
Fuck.
Don't panic. Do not panic.
"Oh come on Sonny," you did your best to keep a joking tone. "What am I gonna do, tell him?"
Should you joke about it? Hidden in plain sight, right?
"No I guess not, it's not like you know him,"
Whew.
"It's just kinda embarrassing…."
Oh god.
"O-Oh?" You tried to stay calm. "Why's that? Is it a gag gift?"
Please be a gag gift.
"Actually it's a new briefcase," He replied.
"Oh why is that embarrassing you goof?” You gave him a hard time. What was that in the emotional baggage department? Pun intended.
"I mean, it's more expensive than the one I own," You could hear the shrug in his voice.
Fuck. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But if you don't ask, that will be even more suspicious wouldn't it?
"Oh Son," You asked softly. "Why would you do that?"
"Well the one he has is as old as dirt, I think it's probably the first one he ever bought. I wanted him to look snazzy in court." He replied with a super eager tone.
"That's sweet," you were pounding your steering wheel in frustration. Say it.
"Seems like a lot of work for a mentor though," You closed your eyes mentally killing yourself.
"Yeah well," he laughed uncomfortably.
Say it.
"Sonny…” You didn’t want to do this.
“Yeah?” He was oblivious.
“You know you can always talk to me,”
“Yeah of course,” He assured you.
“About anything,” You scrunched your nose.
“Yeah I know, sunshine,” He half laughed.
“ANYTHING,” You reiterated
There was a long awkward pause.
“...Sonny?” You made sure he hadn’t hung up on you.
“Yeah, I'm here,” He replied softly.
“So?” You waited for the bomb to drop.
So…. He sighed. "I just want him to like me,"
Dammit.
"....Yeah," You nodded, cursing yourself.
"Yeah, its stupid. I'm stupid." He laughed again.
“You're not stupid,” you laid your head on the steering wheel in shame.” I mean the heart wants what it wants right?”
“What?! Oh my god, Y/N,” He scoffed. “I'm not gay,”
“….Sonny it's 2021,” you shook your head. “Sexuality is a spectrum,”
Right well. He laughed defensively. "I'm on the p in the v scale,"
“Ugh, Sonny,” you made a face.
“Sorry sunshine,” He apologized. “I just...why would you even think that?!”
“Uh…” You paused.
Maybe he wasn't fully aware that he had romantic feelings for Rafael. If you started pointing out the signs, he might realize it. But then you'd have a cousin going through gay panic AND then finding out it doesn't matter anyway.
"No reason," You lied.
"I just want him to like him so he'll give me a good recommendation once I graduate Fordham Law,"
"Oh" you smacked your head. "Duh. Right. Of course,"
That was completely legitimate. Maybe you had been misreading this whole thing. Now you just had the whole overprotective Gotti side of Sonny to worry about.
"Well I guess I could spend the weekend in the city," You shrugged as you pulled out of the parking lot.
“Absolutely!” He exclaimed. “My couch is always open,”
Not exactly where you were thinking of sleeping, but you weren't blowing your cover over the phone. Wait, maybe you should. Then he couldn't kill you over the phone. Wait, he's presumably at work right now. You didn't know how closely he worked with Barba, but you figured it would be a hell of a lot easier for Sonny to get to him before you could stop him from killing Rafael.
"Sure sounds good. I'll see you then cuz,” You smiled and hung up the phone.
------
Friday arrived, and you once again found yourself standing outside Forlini's. You debated heavily whether to go in or not, but you told yourself you were going to wait for Sonny outside this time, no more risking a sexy bar rendezvous.
You hadn’t really responded to Rafael’s texts the last few days, and you certainly didn’t tell him you were coming. Maybe you should have told him. You grabbed your phone to text him when you heard a familiar voice behind you:
“Y/N?”
You spun around to see Rafael dressed to the 9’s, smiling at you. He smelled delicious, mixed with the food aroma wafting out of the restaurant and the smell of freshly fallen snow in New York City.
“...Happy Birthday, Counselor,” You bit your lip nervously.
“W-What are you doing here?” He stared at you as if he thought he was dreaming.
“Sonny invited me,” You nervously smiled.
“Seriously?” He laughed.
“Seriously,” You nodded with a laugh as well.
“Did-- did you say anything to him?” He asked you worriedly.
“Are you insane?!” You hit him. “No!”
“So why did he invite you here?” He asked.
“He said it was to make up for ditching me the other night,” You shrugged.
“...The irony,” He smirked.
“Mmm,” You nodded with an amused smile.
“Well this is a very happy birthday indeed,” He smiled, pulling you closer into his coat similar to the night you had met.
“....Just don’t ask which one it is,” He warned you while staring at your lips deviously.
“Deal,” You nodded in agreement before he pulled you into a hungry kiss.
“DUDE!!” You snapped back before his lips were on yours for more than a millisecond. “Are you nuts?! Sonny’s gonna be here any second!”
“It’s my birthday, carino,” He made a pouty face. “Don’t yell at me,”
“Oh lord,” You rolled your eyes. “Alright, man child,”
He was about to go for another sneaky kiss when you both heard a voice from behind you.
“....Sunshine?”
“Oh!” You jumped ten feet away from Rafael when you turned to see Sonny standing there with a huge gift bag, staring slack jawed at the two of you. “Sonny! I um, we--”
“I was teaching your cousin a lesson in New York safety,” Rafael talked over you, his face completely stone. God he was a good liar.
“Excuse me, counselor?” Sonny raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. You just stared in speechlessness.
“She was standing on this curb holding her bag out for any miscreant on these streets to just wrestle away from her, I was just demonstrating how,” He gestured to your open purse.
“Barba I really think this ain’t that kinda neighborhood,” Sonny half laughed.
“...You never know,” Rafael shrugged. “Now let’s all get inside, I’m sure everyone is anxious to start celebrating me,”
You and Sonny both rolled your eyes with smiles; too similar of smiles, you noticed. Thankfully, he did not. You both followed Rafael back to a private room where a bunch of fancy dressed people were mingling with drinks in their hands while two long empty tables stood in the middle of the room. They all stopped and clapped when Rafael walked in.
“Oh, for me?” He feigned surprise and humility.
“Yeah right Barba,” A woman laughed sarcastically. “You’re the one who invited us here,”
“Touche, Rita,” Rafael smirked as he began making the rounds around the table greeting everyone.
“So are we allowed to eat now, I’m starving,” An older man asked.
“And I’ve got a son waiting,” A red headed woman chimed in.
“Right, right,” Rafael nodded as people began to take seats. “Sorry everyone, you know I love to make a dramatic entrance,”
“Oh trust me we know, Barba,” Another man called. “Your catwalks into the courtroom prove that. I think we have a montage of them,”
“Ha Ha,” Rafael rolled his eyes, then turned to you and Sonny.
“Sonny,” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you sit next to me?”
“R-Really, counselor?” You saw Sonny’s eyes light up like Christmas tree lights.
Fuck. You knew he was only asking him so that you would sit next to him as well. And while you loved the idea, you knew how much this was toying with Sonny’s feelings.
“A-Are you sure, about that Mr. Barba?” You gave him a look.
“Absolutely, Miss-- I didn’t catch your name?” He played it so cool.
“Y/N,” You held out your hand as you re-introduced yourself.
“Right, well--” He shook your hand then turned his attention to Sonny who was still beaming like a kid on Christmas. “I don’t know how much Carisi has told you, but he is quite the promising mentee of mine,”
“....R-Really, Rafael?” Sonny blinked in disbelief, causing Rafael’s smile to falter for a moment. Sonny had never called him “Rafael” before, it was always “Barba”. Shit, maybe he had given him too much praise.
“I mean, you know, for a lap dog,” He quickly added with a snarky tone and a smirk.
“Mr. Barba!” You tried not to raise your voice at the birthday boy. “That is my cousin you’re talking ab---”
“No, no it’s fine Y/N-- th-that’s how we work isn’t it, counselor? He just gives me jabs, I know he doesn’t mean it,” Sonny laughed nervously, staring at the floor. He knew not to get too comfortable with Barba, why did he even try it?
“Indeed,” Rafael nodded in agreement. “But, I still request you sit by me-- at least I know you don't poison my food. Which is more than I can say for many of my esteemed ‘guests’,” He eyed the tables of people before him.
“Then why invite them to your party?” You quirked an eyebrow.
“I get that Jersey doesn’t have the social classes of Manhattan, Miss Y/N,” He smirked. “But here, you’ve got to do things to keep up appearances,”
“Oh do you?” You practically growled.
“Yes,” He nodded while a waiter brought him a glass of scotch. “Even if you don’t like someone, if they serve a purpose for you than you do what you must to keep in their good graces,”
“Oh is that so? So you’re only kind to people who can ‘serve’ you?” You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him.
What kind of Danny Zuko bullshit was this?! This was an entirely different Rafael Barba you had met the other night. He was kind, flirty, endearing. This new Barba was snarky and condescending, and you were not amused at all.
“Y/N, chill,” Sonny hissed at you. “This is just how Barba is, he’s harmless,”
“Yeah well you might not mind being his doormat Sonny, but I sure as hell won’t be,” You angrily stomped off.
“Oh my god,” Sonny muttered, wondering if he should run after you or not. “Barba, I am so so sorry about her,”
“It’s fine, Carisi,” He watched you stomping away, trying to hide the guilt in his voice. He was just trying his best to throw Sonny off the trail. He may have overcompensated just a tad.
“I-I should go check on her, She’s just a kid--”
“No, allow me,” Rafael put a hand to Sonny’s chest. “It was my faux paux, I should apologize to her myself. I was being a bit of an ass,”
“Yeah but that’s just you, Barba,” Sonny chuckled, trying not to blush at Rafael’s hand on his chest.
“True, but I forget not everyone knows me as well as you do, Carisi,” And now he was trying to be extra nice to Sonny to get on his good side, while cluelessly egging on his feelings.
“That is very true,” Sonny laughed even more nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll take a seat and get our drinks ordered,”
“Excellent,” Rafael smiled at him, probably one of five times in the entire time they’d known each other. He gave Sonny one more pat on the back before walking after where you had stomped off to.
He found you right before you hit the front door, his hand catching yours before it could grab the handle. You turned and scoffed at him, your scowl still present after stomping off.
“Oh, come to appease me, counselor? How can I be of service to you?” You snapped.
“Please, Y/N,” He gave you apologetic eyes as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry, I just-- I didn’t want Carisi to think anything was off. He already caught us being handsy, I had to make it look like we disliked each other,” He explained.
“Oh I think you’ve done that above and beyond, jackass,” You huffed. “First I’m too stupid to not get robbed in the city, and then I’m too uncultured to understand ‘high society’ manipulative bullshit?”
“I’m sorry, I may have gone a little over--” He started.
“But that wasn’t even an act, was it?” You interjected angrily.
“What do you mean?” He asked you curiously.
“Your line of you having ‘use’ of a person? I assume that is why you have a room full of powerful people you dislike as opposed to a room full of sycophants?” Yeah, you might just go to community college but you knew big words too.
“I mean, that is how it works--”
“Jesus Christ,” You shook your head with a laugh. “You know I understood for about half a second why my cousin is so infatuated by you, but I am losing that belief real quick,” You turned and started to walk away again.
“Y/N come on,” He grabbed both of your arms this time and pulled you close into him, your noses almost touching.
“Look I’m-- I’m sorry, that I’m---this,” He gestured to himself.
“But that’s just how I have to be in their world,” He gestured back towards the room. “I’m telling you, it’s a room full of sharks. If I show weakness or misstep in decorum, I’m nothing but chum to those people,”
“The guy you met the other night, that’s the real me,” He put a hand to your cheek. “I never get to be that guy, not in public. That’s why I was so attracted to you,” He put his other hand on your waist.
“I don’t have to be ‘Rafael Barba, the snarky ADA with a silver tongue,’ I can just be…’Rafa’,” He gave you an earnestly sad smile.
“I’m sorry,” You blinked in confusion. “I know I’m not helping myself but what exactly is the ‘ADA’?”
Your question brought that familiar amused grin and a laugh. “See, this is what I’m talking about,”
“Oh yeah I know, the ignorant girl you can placate--”
“No,” He put a finger on your lips. “The earnest, normal, gorgeous girl,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m sure if we took a poll in here right now the majority of the room would be with you, not knowing what an ADA is,”
“Which still doesn’t answer the question,” You pointed out.
“I…” He tried to think of a way to explain his role in the Manhattan judicial system. “Well, the DA of the county is like-- the King of Lawyers in that section. Or queen, as my boss is Rita,” He shook his head with a laugh. Oh Rita Calhoun, the stories he could tell about her.
“So, you’re her king?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Eh, I’d say Prince but she’d probably say Jester if she heard this metaphor to be honest with you,”
“Mmm I like that,” You finally let yourself smile at him.
“A Prince?” He grinned.
“The Jester,” You gave him a tongued smile, settling against his chest.
“Well, I’ll gladly take that title if it makes you happy,” He kissed your forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy right now,”
You looked into his green eyes, they were now their usual sparkling green hue, and you remembered very quickly how you had gotten yourself in this mess in the first place. He really was a sweet, charming, gorgeous guy. And then you remembered those were probably all the reasons Sonny fell for him too.
“Ahem.” You straightened up and stepped out of his grasp. “Well, what would make me happy right now is getting back to my cousin,”
“Oh,” Rafael’s eyes softened into a sad gaze.
“Rafael, I think he really likes you,” You bit your lip with guilt. “And you toying with him just now isn’t helping!”
“Toying with him?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion? “I wasn’t toying with--”
“Sit by me, Carisi? You’re important to me, Carisi?” You imitated his questions in a mocking tone.
“I had to ask him that so you would--” He started to explain, but you already knew.
“I know!” You stopped him. “I know, that’s why it’s so fucked!” You put your hands over your face.
“Carino…” Rafael walked over and pulled your hands from your face and held them.
“I’m hurting him every second that I stand here with you, and I--” You bit your lip trying not to cry. “I’m still doing it! I can’t walk away!”
“So don’t,” He squeezed your hands with an even sadder look.
“This is just--” You broke free from his grasp once again and wiped your eyelids. “We need to get back before Sonny comes after you,”
“....So where does this conversation leave us, then?” He asked you cautiously.
“I don’t…” You gazed into his puppy dog emerald eyes. “I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it right now, okay?”
“Fair enough,” He put his hands down in concession. “...But we really need to--”
“Yeah, I know,” You nodded softly as you walked back to the private room, Rafael trailing behind you.
All you could think on the way back was how in God’s name were you going to make it through the rest of the night.
#rafael barba#rafael barba x you#rafael barba x reader#rafael barba fanfiction#rafael barba imagine'#sonny carisi#law and order svu#weird secret friends
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not really “hamilton”,,,, but anywho, hi could you write a daveed fic where the reader is rafael’s older sister (like by a couple years) and she meets daveed through rafa, but rafa is all whiny over his sister getting w daveed.. but he eventually gives in because he’s happy that she’s happy and he gets to mess w daveed about “goin soft” and stuff?? thank u i love ur writing❤️
Sorry, this took so long! I had a blast writing this! Also, I’m not really sure if this is what you wanted. I am happy to rewrite it if you want!
“You know how you’re my incredibly successful sister, and I love you so much,” your brother says through the phone before you even have the time to say hello.
“What do you want?”
“Can I not just-”
“Nope,” you balance the phone between your ear and your shoulder as you unlock your car, “What do you want?”
“Look, my friend and I are in New York for a thing he’s working on. Can we just stay with you for a few days until one of us can rent a place?”
“Fine, whatever. When will you be here?”
“We’re outside your door. Thanks! I owe you!”
You roll your eyes. “I’ll add this to the list. I’ll be home in twenty.” You hang up the phone before he has a chance to ask for anything else. Of course, he moved to New York on a whim.
When you get to your apartment, you see two men sitting outside the building, waiting for someone, you, to let them in. When Rafael sees you, he jumps up. “(Y/N)! Thank you so much! It’ll only be a few days, I promise. A week, at most.”
You nod your head. “Take all the time you need.” You turn your attention to his friend. “Hi, I’m (Y/N). I’m sure if you can put up with Rafa, you can put up with me for a few days.”
He chuckles. “Daveed. Thank you so much. All of this is new last minute.”
As you make your way up to your apartment, Daveed explains his project, but you can’t bring yourself to listen. The way he talks about something he’s interested in is infectious, the way his eyes light up and how his lips curl into a soft smile.
“I’m sure (Y/N)’ll love it. She’s a huge nerd. Still working for the Frick?” Rafael asks, pulling you out of your Daveed-induced trance.
“No. I’m with the Natural History museum now. Although, if you bothered to look at the papers before you sat on them, you would have known that,” you respond, snatching the papers from the chair. Daveed laughs at the interaction before gathering papers from the couch. “I’ve got a couch in here and in my office that you can fight over. Bathroom’s in that door. That’s my room,” you explain, pointing into each of the rooms. “I was planning on leftovers for dinner, but I’m afraid I don’t have that much. There are some takeout menus around here somewhere, if you guys want to order something.”
“You’re paying?”
You raise an eyebrow at your brother. “You’re sleeping on the street?”
He smirks.
“Just pick something, will you.”
He quickly decides on something, not wanting to push his luck any further. While you wait for the food, you get to know Daveed a bit more. You both share the couch, Rafael having been banished to the floor when he made a comment about you being “as old as the artifacts you work with”.
Eventually, between the food and spending time with Daveed, you lose track of time. When you finally look at the clock, you jump off the couch. “Shit, I’ve got to go to work in, well, a few hours now.” You give each of them a hug. “I’m going to attempt to look presentable. You two should get some rest. Try not to break anything while I’m gone.”
“I would never,” Daveed exclaims in mock offense.
You laugh. “Your job is to keep him in check.”
You don’t bother to catch any sleep. Instead, you hop into the shower. Even though you aren’t near him anymore, you can’t stop thinking about Daveed. You had heard about him well before meeting him, but you didn’t pay much mind to it. You assumed that he was going to be just as annoying as your brother, but as soon as you met him, you couldn’t stop thinking about him.
As you step out of the shower, you hear a loud crash and a string of curses. “Do I want to know?” you ask, getting dressed.
“No!” they answer in unison.
You laugh. “Better be fixed when I come out.”
Luckily, by the time you are ready to leave, they seemed to have fixed whatever it is that they broke. “I’m gonna head out. See you later.” You move to hug both of them, but Rafael stops you. “Nuh-uh. We’ve exceeded our hug quota for the year.”
“Guess I’ll just have to get his hug,” Daveed says before wrapping his arms around you. You melt into his touch, forgetting about everything.
Until your brother clears his throat. “Aren’t you going to be late?”
You push yourself away, leave it to him to ruin your moment. “Yeah. I’ll be back around six. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Yeah, will do,” Daveed says, awkwardly stepping away from you. “See you later.”
You nod, grabbing your purse and heading out the door. Before it closes, you can just make out your brother hiss, “What the hell was that?”
You stay in the hall, listening to them.
“What was what?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“No, I don’t.”
“So, you have absolutely no interest in my sister?”
“I, well, I,” he stutters, trying to come up with an answer.
“That’s what I thought.”
You hear them move around, so you can’t hear what they are saying anymore. You can’t tell if that’s for better or worse.
You don’t get any work done. You spend the entire day thinking about what you heard. Surely, you were just imagining things. There’s no way that he could have any interest in you. He was going to Broadway, and you were working in the back halls of a museum. “He’ll be gone in a week, and then you can stop thinking about him,” you mutter to yourself.
“You’re back early,” Rafael says as you walk into your apartment.
“I don’t think I have to explain myself to you.” You set your purse on the table. “I went ahead and picked up dinner.” You busy yourself by putting the bag in the fridge. “Johnson was having a sale, so I figured that I could go ahead and pick something up. How’d the search go?”
“Horrible! Does anyone in this city ever leave?”
You laugh. “I think Macy down the hall is close to leaving and going back to Nebraska. You could check it out.”
“You really want to be living with me again?”
“I really just want you out of my place as quickly as possible.”
Suddenly, Rafa gets a devious smirk on his face. “You know what, you’re right. I’ll go down and check.” He quickly gets up and rushes out of your apartment, leaving you standing in the kitchen rather bewildered.
Not long after he leaves, Daveed comes out of your office. “Where did he take off to?”
You shake your head. “I have no idea.” You are suddenly aware of how small your apartment is, how close Daveed is. “I-uh-I got dinner. It’s in the fridge whenever you want it.”
“You good?”
“Yeah, I, uh,” you respond, “yeah.”
He smiles, taking a step closer to you. “You’re a lot like your brother, y’ know.”
You place your hand over your heart. “Why, I am offended! I-”
“You talk a lot when you’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous.”
He places his hand on the wall behind you, effectively trapping you. “You’re not?”
“N-nope,” you choke out.
“So, you wouldn’t be nervous at all, if I kissed you right now.”
You feel your breath catch in your throat. You have to be dreaming, right? He seriously can’t be asking to kiss you right now. “No.”
“Good,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss you. You are no longer dreaming. Every part of your body that he touches feels like it’s on fire. As he pulls away, you collapse into him. “Still nervous?”
You shake your head. “Never was.”
He rolls his eyes. “Sure.”
By the time Rafa returns from wherever he ran off to, you and Daveed and curled up on the couch, talking over whatever mindless show you had put on. “Really, on my couch?”
“You always know how to ruin a moment,” you say, tossing a pillow in his direction.
In a true younger brother fashion, Rafael settles between the two of you on the couch. “So, what are we watching?”
You and Daveed share a look before getting off the couch. “You are watching Superstore.” You pull Daveed into your room with much protest from your brother. When you hear the TV shut off and your brother start pacing, you sigh. “I should go talk to him, shouldn’t I?”
“Probably,” Daveed answers, making now attempt to let you up.
“Alright.” You push him off of you. “I’ll be back.” When you walk out of your room, you see Rafa pacing the room.
“Done so soon?”
“What has gotten into you?”
He stands, looking out the window with his back facing you. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, yeah, brooding and grumbling is definitely fine.” You stand next to him. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t want you dating him.”
“So, you left to check on an apartment that isn’t on the market yet?”
“I just... I thought that this would make both of you happy. I-and you can’t repeat this to anyone-love both of you, and I want you both to be happy, but when I saw you together... I guess I just got worried that you would leave me behind. Like when you-”
“Moved to New York?”
He looks down. “Yeah.”
“I did move here to get away from you,” you admit. “We both tell stories, and you do it much better than me.” He opens his mouth to protest, but you cut him off. “Look, this is the one compliment that I’m going to give you, so take it. I know that you wouldn’t write like you do if I were still home. You don’t want to make me look bad.”
“Shh, don’t tell anyone.”
You shake your head. “And, I was right. Look, I’d never leave you behind to hurt you, just to help you.”
“How do you know if something’s going to hurt me?”
“The same way I knew that playing with the Christmas ornaments was a bad idea. It’s hurt me before.”
“You’re sure that being with Diggs is a good idea?”
“You seem to trust him.”
“He’s a good guy. Though, I never thought that I would ever get to see him this soft. He spent the entire day talking about you.’
You smile. “We good?”
He pulls you into a hug. “We good.”
“What happened to the hug quota?” you tease.
“I didn’t see you last year. You owe me this one.”
“I heard there was hugging going on out here,” a familiar voice interjects.
You both open your arms to him. “Get in here, D!”
“I also thought I heard you say that you love me.”
“I was in an emotional place, don’t judge me.”
“I hope you’re not as hardheaded as him,” Daveed says to you.
“It’s in our blood,” you and your brother answer in unison.
#daveed diggs x reader#daveed diggs imagine#rafael casal x reader#rafael casal imagine#hamilton imagine#hamilton x reader
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Hell/Heaven
Pairing: Ethan x MC (Dr.Anika Warren)
Words: 3.5k ..I just..went off w this
Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, trauma, swear words??
Author’s Note: Okay yall so idfk what this is tbh. I just had an idea and went on to write 3.5k words about it. This is my interpretation of the aftermath of ch.11. I genuinely don’t know if this makes sense or it’s just a bunch of words slammed together.
Also, I did not really proofread this so please do feel free to point out any mistakes. I’m sorry for the mistakes.
I’m scared of writing people OOC and I’m still learning so please keep it in mind.
Anyway, I did not make it two parts but it’s pretty long so yeah.
Anika’s thoughts will be in italics.
xxxx
It had been almost 16 hours since the combined diagnostics team along with her friends barged into the isolation ward and told her that they had found a cure. Eight hours since Ethan said the magic words
“Get up. There are no traces of the toxin in your body.”
She had been lightheaded, whether it was from happiness or if it was from some weird side effect she didn’t know about was up in the air. She was still a bit wobbly.
In her 29 years of living, Dr.Anika Warren had not had such a whirlwind of a day. 24 hours ago ,she was barging into the senator’s room trying to stop an assassination. She didn’t know how she got caught up in a death trap but after that it was as if her brain had recorded every single moment with perfect accuracy.The whole thing was playing in a loop , the cannister being deployed, Rafael Aveiro, superman and ultimate idiot jumping in to protect her , Danny and Bobby Gunderson’s life leaving his eyes in front of her. She had watched a lot of people pass away in her career, and each one affected her . No matter how much she wanted to get used to it. But this was different, this was a man who was talking to her about how he wanted to afford a car for his daughter’s 16th. Bobby used to greet her with a smile every day, and even with minimal interaction she had gotten close to him.
And now his daughter won’t have a father, much less a car. And it’s because you were dumb enough to jump in to the room before having backup.
She pushed the thoughts away as she wearily walked through Edenbrook’s long corridors.
Most of her friends had returned home in hopes of having some rest, but she couldn’t. Raf was still admitted, albeit not in a coma and she couldn’t just leave him. She didn’t want to leave anyway,trying to get as much done as she could to distract herself. She didn’t want to face her thoughts, which she would eventually have to when she’d go home. But for now, she was delaying the inevitable by trying to help any and every doctor she came across.
“Dr.Warren? Why are you still here?”
Esme. I love her but dear god if one more person tells me to go home I’ll start crying in the middle of the corridor.
“Uhh, I’m just finishing off some work. You should be too , Dr.Ortega. Stop interrogating people and get to work.”
Wow when did I become Ethan? That was one of the most out of character things I’ve ever said. Looks like his personality is seeping into me.
“ Um..Anika? You good? No offense but that really doesn’t sound like you. ”
Well..crap.
“Then what does it sound like, Dr.Ortega?”
“ It sounds like you’re trying to put on a tough person persona to deflect questions”
This girl is way too smart. Am I the only dumb one here with no people skills or…?
“ I just..I just don’t want to go home. And I don’t want to talk about it. Please don’t mind”
Please leave me alone please please please
Esme shrugged but the look of concern on her face wasn’t gone. “If that’s what you want then sure. Take care of yourself, I’m not the one who almost died"
With that she turned around and left.
Anika continued to make her way through the hospital. Her mind was racing with the possibilities of what could have happened. She could not stop thinking about how she trusted the senator, but most of all, one thing was repeating in her mind.
So, Ethan Ramsey, are you single?
Ethan looked at me for a brief second
"I’m sorry… But no, I’m not"
He had actually admitted his feelings on national television. Well, almost but the point still stood.
And yet it’s complicated. He’s not single but we’re not dating. What the fuck Ethan Ramsey? We doing Schrodinger dating or what?
This was her hell.
"Dr. Warren?"
This time, she wasn’t annoyed at her name being called. This time, it was more relief than frustration.
"Anika..?” Ethan’s voice hit her once again.
“Um.. Hi” she didn’t know what to say. Her face was flushed from thinking about the moment they shared after the interview, and all the subtle moments that had in the past few months.
“You’re supposed to be home. But Dr.Ortega did mention something about you not wanting to. What is it?"
Ah there it is. Damn you Esme. I mean, no but yes.
"It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it”
She tried to sound as normal and unbothered as she could. She didn’t want to even think about it, much less talk it out which would just make it much more real for her. She wanted to live in denial and pretend everything was normal for a while.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a sudden hold on her wrist. She snapped back into reality to notice that Ethan was pulling her somewhere. It was in the general direction of his office so she presumed that much but couldn’t help protesting the sudden force.
“Wai- Wha- Where are you taking me?!”
The reply only affirmed her presumption.
“To my office, Rookie. You’re clearly not well and you need to rest and if you won’t go home I’ll make sure you rest here.”
Why is this man so stubborn? I love him but why?
They were soon in his sparsely decorated office. Everything was organised with no stray papers or journals lying around which was usually the case with most of the other offices in the hospital. Ethan sat her down on the couch and sat down beside her.
“Wait, I thought you wanted me to rest. What is this Dr.Ramsey? A plot to get me alone with you hmmm..?” She wanted to get alone with him. Ever since the confession the other night and him saying he wasn’t single, she needed some answers.
“No. I just wanted to ask you about why exactly you didn’t want to go home. Dr.Ortega told me you looked disturbed and kind of in a trance and I got worried” Ethan said with worry clearly etched onto his face
Why the hell is he so cute even when he’s worried? I’m so so in love ugh
His palm touched her face , snapping her out of her thoughts yet again. His gentle touch was something she wasn’t yet that used to, and he had been much more gentle and kind since the confession the previous night. He was acting so unlike the Ethan she knew and she had to get used to this.
“Tell me , Anika. What’s wrong? Talk to me. I’m here.”
Memories of the previous few days flooded her all at once. Her poaching the senator from MK, him intruding on the diagnostics team meetings, Travis behaving so normally that she could never in a million years imagine him being such a …. psychopath.
The phone call she overheard, her disappointment on how she trusted a politician who wanted the same things as everyone else.
She was spiralling, and she was spiralling hard. It was hard not to, she was feeling guilty. She wanted to go back and not agree to June’s idea. She wanted to undo the whole thing.
Ethan noticed her face contorting with the painful memories and he immediately took her into his arms and that was all it took for her to start sobbing.
“ I just..I feel guilty Ethan. I shouldn’t have gone to MK, I shouldn’t have followed June’s advice. I shouldn’t have trusted a politician. And most of all I shouldn’t have ran into the room like some kind of a superhero in a Hollywood movie without having proper back up”
Ethan’s face was grim. He understood the guilt over going over to MK and stealing their patient, he had been feeling it too. But he couldn’t understand the other feelings, it would be impossible to. He wanted to comfort her, let her know that she did absolutely nothing wrong but he knew his words wouldn’t matter much.
Ethan’s thoughts were interrupted by more violent sobs, she was breaking in front of him and he couldn’t take it. He hugged her tighter and whispered sweet nothings, trying to tell her that she was only trying to do something good.
“You didn’t do anything wrong Anika, you were doing your duty. You wanted to help. It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re here. ”
He wanted to comfort her and never hear her cry again.
Anika on the other hand couldn’t stop. She felt bad, she felt bad when she thought about Danny and Sienna , when she thought about Bobby Gunderson and his daughter. “ Sienna probably hates me.."
Ethan was taken aback by that comment, if he had noticed one thing about Dr.Trinh ,it was that she was someone you could absolutely trust. Her hating Anika was far fetched. ” She won’t, why would she hate you? She was so scared Anika, she was so scared that you would ….“ He couldn’t complete the sentence. He couldn’t even complete the though.
” No, Ethan. Sienna loved Danny. And..and if I hadn’t..if I hadn’t..done something so stupid..he would still be here..they had a future Ethan, they really did..“ and she broke down into another fit of sobs.
Ethan didn’t know what to do. He held her and helped her cry it out. Eventually the exhaustion hit her and she somehow fell asleep. He noticed though,that she had a fever. And was in the process of waking her up gently and giving her some medicine that the door opened.
Naveen Banerji was worried. He was worried about Rafael , the paramedic he had somehow grown close to. He was worried about Ethan , his mentee and his "son”. But most of all, he was worried about Dr.Warren. She had taken the toll of the previous days hard and as soon as he heard that she was acting unusual, he wanted to find her. He couldn’t though and decided that the best way to approach this was to ask Ethan.
He had just opened the door when he saw that Anika was with Ethan in the room, and they both looked very cosy. Ethan was in the process of giving her some kind of medication and he didn’t want to interrupt but it was clear that they had been having a moment. And Anika looked deathly pale and after listening to a concerned Dr.Ortega about how she was a walking zombie and how he should force her to take time off work and seeing it himself, he decided to actually listen to Dr.Ortega and give Anika a week off.
He silently closed the door as he did not want to interrupt and instead paged Ethan to come to his office. He not only wanted Anika to take a few days off work, he wanted Ethan to take care of her. He had never seen Ethan so happy with anybody before and it hurt him to see them push each other away. And if this was a chance for him to push Ethan towards his happiness, he would use it.
Ethan had just finished giving Anika a tablet for her temperature and let her fall asleep again when his pager beeped. He walked briskly to Naveen’s office, curious to know why he called him. It was rare, getting paged by Naveen so he was a bit nervous.
When he had entered and sat down, Naveen wasted no time in getting to the point. “ I’ve heard that Dr.Warren has been showing some trauma symptoms lately, and she has gone through a lot so I want to give her a week off” he said.
Ethan was happy, he wanted this to happen but he was confused as to why the chief had told him this .
“ Before you ask me why and how this concerns you, I want you to know that I want you to take care of her in this one week. And hence , I am giving you a whole week off too” Naveen finished with a smile on his face.
Ethan was surprised. He wanted to spend time with her, especially after his late night revelations. But taking a whole week off work was out of question. The diagnostics team would be two members down and he couldn’t let that happen.
“Naveen, that simply isn’t feasible. It’s already hard with a nurse down and a doctor down and me going would make it all the more difficult for the team.”
Naveen cut him off, he didn’t want to hear it
“ Son, just listen to me this time. I’ll take over the diagnostics team myself for the week and the workload can be handled. I want you both to take a while off and figure things out and that’s all I’ll say. Nothing you say will change this decision.”
Ethan didn’t have the heart to protest. Even though he was worried about how the team would function without two members, the fact that Naveen would take over eased him.
Besides that, he really did want to forget the world for a bit and just hold her in his arms. The endeavour the previous day had shown him how much he cared and after that , he couldn’t keep her away. He almost lost her, and in those few hours where he had to put up a brave façade for the hospital while he was breaking inside were the worst few hours in his entire life.
He didn’t know what he would do without her, just the thought of not having her jab at him randomly, do weird things just to annoy him and all of her little quirks which frustrated him to no end in the beginning which he had grown to love killed him. He needed her.
He walked through the hospital to his office to find her awake and scrolling through her phone. This comforted him a bit as she looked tranquil and didn’t have the worry on her face like earlier.
He entered the room and her face immediately lit up. This was something he would never tire of seeing , her smile. It made him feel all excited and warm.
“ Ethan! I was waiting for you!” She chirped. He loved her voice and it automatically brought an easy smile onto his face.
He sat down beside her , absentmindedly stroking her hand and started speaking.
“ Naveen has ordered both of us to take a whole week off. He wouldn’t listen to anything. " He said with a bemused smirk on his face. This whole idea of Naveen, was amusing to him. It was such an obvious attempt at getting them together that he couldn’t help but laugh at it.
” Wait what? What about the diagnostics team?! They can’t function with two members down. I mean they can but what if we get an important case?! What about my patients? What about your patients? This simply won’t-“
Ethan cut her off with a kiss. He wanted to do that for so long and looking at her get so worked up about the hospital was too cute for him to control himself.
” Oh my ,Dr.Ramsey, so forward of you. I didn’t think someone like you could do something so scandalous" Anika chuckled between kisses and Ethan was too absorbed to even take offense to the statement.
Eventually, they got up and made their way to Ethan’s apartment. Anika had to inform her flatmates , everyone looking at her with raised eyebrows except Sienna , who she couldn’t look in the eyes. She also made sure to check up on Raf and Kyra, and shed a few tears looking at them. She was glad that both of them were alright because she wouldn’t forgive herself if anything happened to anyone.
Ethan’s apartment was as she remembered, clean and monochromatic. At this point, she had visited enough for her to just walk straight in and start playing with Jenner without any hesitation. Ethan loved seeing her like this, in his home , comfortable. He couldn’t help but imagine a future where she would just live there instead of visiting.
After taking a shower ,they started working on dinner. Ethan didn’t want to make her work at all but she was adamant about helping. Watching her move across the kitchen with ease made him happy. But he didn’t forget to make her rest, as she was still weak which was evident when she lost focus suddenly and fainted. Ethan dropped his spatula into the pan and rushed to get her up. She had started to have a rise in her temperature again.
“ You can’t keep doing this Rookie , you’re sick and you’re literally working yourself to exhaustion. Now just take your medicine and relax , okay? I’ll take care of dinner.” He cooed into her ears as he lifted her up and carried her to his bed.
Anika obliged with a pout, not letting him go back without a proper kiss. She wanted him to stay but her stomach rumbling made it obvious that she needed food. And the only source of food was Ethan cooking and she had to let him go.
Her fever had subsided by the time he poked his head into the bedroom telling her that dinner was ready. She had almost fallen asleep, exhaustion taking over her but dinner was important.
I need to talk to him about the interview. And the night before. I need to talk to him about so much.
They had dinner in relative peace, having proper substantial food after all the hospital food she had eaten felt good. They were I’m easy conversation and she didn’t have the heart to bring up the topic of feelings.
He will shut down , and I don’t want him to shut down.
Only when they had completed eating and ended up in bed cuddling could she force herself to ask him.
Just do it Anika. It’s not too hard. He won’t push you away. Trust yourself.
“ Ethan?” She spoke up with a timid voice. In the hospital, she was the person who would talk back when anything was wrong or if anybody did anything questionable, but here she was out of her depth.
“ Yes?” He answered with an inquisitive tone.
“I wanted to ask you about something” she went on. “ Uh..um.. the interview when you said you weren’t single..” she took a deep breath.
Come on , just say it. Why are you so anxious?!
Ethan immediately tensed up a bit. He meant every single word he said, both in the interview and in the night that followed and yet, he didn’t know how to approach this. He was looking at her intently , waiting for her to continue when she started speaking again.
“ Yesterday night, when you talked about how you regretted keeping me away and how you wished you didn’t do it… did you mean it?” She finished, bracing for impact. She was so sure that he’d push her away yet again and they’d have to spend the rest of the week in awkwardness that his next words took her a moment to register.
“ I meant every single word , Anika” he said, bringing her closer to him. He kissed her forehead and continued. “ I meant it. All of it. You are the light in my life, my sunshine. When I saw you behind the glass, covered in that grease , my heart stopped. I had to pick myself up and put on a face for the team but I was breaking into a million pieces. Each time I failed to diagnose what was wrong , I remembered that I could lose you. And that broke me even further. There was nothing I wanted to do more than run into the room and hold you in my hands. I can’t live without you Anika, I don’t want to imagine a life without you. ”
By this point , both of them were in tears. They were hugging each other, tears flowing freely.
“ I was so scared ,Ethan. I just wanted to be in your arms. And I was scared for Raf. When you told me we had lost Danny, I realised I couldn’t lose Raf. And every moment, all I wanted was to be with you. You’re the most important thing in my life , Ethan. And I was so scared to talk to you about this, so scared that you would push me away again.”
Ethan took a sharp breath. Pushing her away after all this was impossible. He hugged her tighter , letting her cry , letting himself cry it out.
“ I won’t push you away. I won’t ever push you away. I’m all in if you are” he said, through tears.
Anika looked at him and could see a vulnerable man. She could see he was scared too, to admit his feelings and to let his walls down and she was determined to never hurt him.
“ I’m all in ,Ethan. Forever. ”
That night was one of the best nights of their lives. They just spent it cuddling and talking to each other about their dreams, their aspirations and themselves.
Ethan hadn’t felt so at ease in years. He was ready to take care of her forever. He had never imagined falling in love but now, he couldn’t imagine not being in love.
And that night , they knew that the next seven days and the rest of their lives would be amazing.
And this, was her heaven.
THANK YOU IF YOU READ TILL HERE.
Tag List? Sort of?
@drethanramslay @hatescapsicum @nooruleman @anonymously-cool @mrsbhandari @kaavyaethanramsey @apphia12 @queencarb @mvalentine @openheart12 @starrystarrytrouble
@crazynutella tagging @oofchoices @ohramsey if yall are interested
xxxx
#open heart#open heart fanfiction#dr ethan ramsey x mc#dr ethan jonah ramsey#mekh tries to write yee#dr ethan ramsey#ethan ramsey fanfiction#playchoices#open heart second year
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Tania Murray Li: [...] In the highlands of Sulawesi where I was working, there is no word for land. There’s a word for soil, a sort of a material thing, and then the classification has to do always with people’s relationship to forests. There’s primary forest [...]. There’s secondary forest, which means someone once did the work of clearing the huge trees in order to plant a garden. There’s the current garden, and there’s the just left behind garden. But there is no abstract category, “land.” [...] I was working in this area during a period when that category emerged. The idea of land as an abstract object which can have a value, which can be bought and sold, which can be treated in some respects like other forms of property [...]. But then I thought, well, actually, there’s always work involved in producing this category land. I also looked at the work done by the W*rld B*nk and others in the context of the land grab. Where, suddenly -- well, not suddenly, it’s not new -- up popped this category of “underutilized land.” And apparently, according to them, half the world’s potentially arable land is not used at all, and most of the rest is “underutilized.” What kind of object is it in which one scale of value means proper utility, versus under? Under for whom, in what ways, according to what metric? That really alerted me to all the work it takes to produce land as an abstract object, or [...] to render it investible, the kind of thing you can speculate on in the stock market. That’s not just there, given. That’s the outcome of a process [...].
Monica White: I meditated on the question, what is land? [...] [L]and is a living being. To me, I also see it as sort of a scene of a crime, right? It’s a scene of a crime and a strategy of freedom and liberation. So, we recognize land, this land particularly, as stolen land, using stolen labor. Our interactions and relationship with land has been one of extraction and not regeneration. [...] So, land is sort of everything [...]. It’s everything, and how we treat the land, I think, also has indications for how we treat each other. [...] [I]f we see land as living, but also in terms of the receptacle of blood, sweat, and tears [...]. As painful as this part of it is -- and that’s why I talk about the scene of a crime -- land is both a site and source of oppression and liberation. [...] [I]t’s important to hold space for both of those.
-----
Elizabeth Hennessy. “What Is Land? A Conversation with Tania Murray Li, Rafael Marquese, and Monica White.” Edge Effects. 16 December 2019.
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– B A S I C S –
NAME: N/A
ALIAS(ES)/HANDLE(S): Vani
ARE YOU OVER 18? Yes / No
IS YOUR MUSE? Yes (Atem is the only minor muse) / No
WHEN WAS YOUR BLOG ESTABLISHED? Khxpresh: 28th July 2021 (although I’ve been writing Kaiba since 2020) | Quebracabeca: 4th Sept 2020 | Duelistas: 27th Jan 2021
– W R I T I N G –
ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU WRITE WITH ON THIS BLOG?
No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only)
ARE YOU SELECTIVE ABOUT WHO YOU FOLLOW ON THIS BLOG?
No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only)
IF YOUR MUSE IS CANON, HOW MUCH DO YOU ADHERE TO CANON?
Not at all / A little (Headcanons) / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable
WHAT POST LENGTHS DO YOU WRITE?
One Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella
DO YOU USE ICONS AND/OR GIFS?
No / Gifs / Icons / Yes
DO YOU WRITE ON OTHER PLATFORMS?
No / Yes (Discord)
WHAT LEVEL OF PLOTS DO YOU WRITE?
Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots (set up a meeting and see what happens) / Semi-Plotted (one or two steps ahead) / Fully Plotted Epics (plotted beginning, middle, and end)
HOW QUICKLY DO YOU USUALLY RESPOND TO THREADS?
Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days) / It depends
I tend to respond rather quickly, but I always throw my replies into the queue so it all depends on when it spits out the response.
WHAT TYPES OF THEMES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!)
Fluff / Angst / Smut / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family / Conversational
WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? (feel free to add!)
High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Adventure / Espionage
ARE THERE ANY THEMES YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WRITING ON YOUR BLOG? (not triggers)
No / Yes / Sometimes
Gore, it is the only thing that occasionally may leave me feeling sick.
DO YOU HAVE ANY TRIGGERS? HOW DO YOU REQUEST IT TAGGED?
I don’t have any triggers.
– S H I P P I N G –
WHAT TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO?
Romantic / Platonic / Familial
WHAT TYPES OF PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS ARE YOU OPEN TO?
Romantic / Platonic / Familial
Regardless of the relationship’s nature, there must be chemistry and plotting is always a necessity. As depending on the muse, certain types of relationship just won’t be able to be achieved.
DO YOU HAVE OTPS?
No / Chemistry Only / Yes
Kaiba: Rival - Yugi/Kaiba
Set: Headdress - Mahad/Set | Mizu - Kisara/Set
Atem: Scandal - Set/Atem
Ishizu: Trust - Kaiba/Ishizu
Critias: ?- Timaeus/Critias
I’ve got nothing for Noah and Rafael
DO YOU HAVE NOTPS?
No / Yes
These are ships I straight up refuse to write, please don’t approach me for them. I’m not interested at all.
Mokuba/Seto, Seto/Noah, Noah/Mokuba, Jonouchi/Kaiba, TKB/Set, any & all incarnations of Bakura/Atem, Rafael/Atem, Mahad(DM)/Atem, Yugi/Atem, Ishizu/Malik & Ishizu/Rishid
WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION?
Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual
Homosexual: Seto Kaiba
Bisexual: Set, Atem, Ishizu, Noah, Rafael and Critias
WHAT IS YOUR MUSE’S ROMANTIC ORIENTATION?
Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic
See above
ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WRITING SMUT?
No / Selectively / Yes
I’ve got a smut rp blog just for that purpose, although not all my muses are open for it.
HOW EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU SHIP ROMANTICALLY?
Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Never
This might happen easier or not, depending on the muse we’re writing with.
ARE YOU OPEN TO TOXIC SHIPS?
No / Selectively / Yes
But I’m even pickier than usual for these. Because I refuse, to sugarcoat or let things be romanticized just for the sake of uwu angst or something like that.
ARE YOU OPEN TO PROBLEMATIC SHIPS? (incest, canon history, age difference, complicated, etc.)
No / Selectively / Yes
See the ships listed above. Overall, it depends as I feel like the current state of the RPC, doesn’t give any room for anyone to step out of what might be deemed “acceptable”. As such, I’m quite careful about touching on more taboo subjects in my tumblr blogs, that’s why I’m open to writing on Discord as an alternative to my partners. In case they happen to feel more comfortable, doing things there instead.
ARE YOU OPEN TO POLYSHIPPING?
No / Selectively / Yes
It depends on the muse, not all of them would be open to the idea of it. On top of that, I’d rather still keep things 1x1. Meaning, we arestill writing all the muses involved in the plot, without a third person getting involved in it. I’ve had experiences where things ran out of control, pretty quickly.
ARE YOU AN EXCLUSIVE SHIPPER?
Never / Sometimes / Yes
I’ve come to the realisation it just isn’t for me LMFAO. With that said though, aside from my Atem. There’s a cap on the number of versions of a character, I’ll be shipping with. This helps me to not overwhelm myself.
DOES CRACK SHIPPING EVER HAPPEN?
No / Yes
cries over all of my shippings in my blogs
– T A G G I N G! –
Stolen from the dash!
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my muses are bold.
bellamy, clarke, raven, echo for bellamy, harper, luna, nathan ( potentially ) hope d.
clarke for juliet or sun
echo for juliet or sun
bellamy for jack
caroline and vicki for tyler or serena
caroline for jess mariano or jenna
josie and rafael for hope or tyler
hope for harry or cedric
katniss or gale for bellamy, harper, luna
lily for harper
pansy and blaise for harry or cedric
blaise for hope m.
rory for jess or spencer?
jacob for tyler
edward for cedric
karen and maybe frank for jenna
wells for bellamy, nathan, harper
lexa and roan for bellamy, harper, luna
i could probably make a thg or hp verse for most of my muses i just dk rn who would best interact w/ sirius, adelena, scorpius, remus, clove, cato, glimmer, or peeta
#muhlti#thanks for asking#answered#this is off the top of my head from what i think you're familiar w/#yes i did go through your muse list for everyone that i am familiar with this is who i am as a person
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