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justshitandanime · 1 year

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Kimetsu no Yaiba/ Demon Slayer (Anime) Critic, opinion, whatever (no mayor spoilers)

I’m not a super nerd otaku who eat manga and who inject anime into their veins but I’m neither a noob, I saw a good amount of anime to be able to differentiate a crap of a good one. Besides that I’m OLD and I demand more than a basic plot and cute characters (I passed my Card Captor Sakura phase 300 years ago). So, with that in mind, I will now rant (because is my NEW blog and I can do the fuck I want here) about Demon Slayer and why I personally ADORE IT.

Let’s move of one basic aspect: music and design, both absolutely marvelous. The design, with that new mix between 3d and 2d without bother each other, that make the important scenes so fluid, dynamic and realistic that make your elbow tingle. The soundtracks that are sometimes catchy as fuck and sometimes a truly masterpiece (the Inosuke Theme, with the mix of oriental and orchestral, especially in THAT FIGHT, make you want to scream of how good it is).

The design of the characters is fantastic. Each character is UNIQUE to the point that you can recognize even a silhouette or a minor detail, even from secondary characters that have barely screen time.

The fights are one of the best things I see in a lot of time. Is not a “repeat the pose 4 times each 5 seconds to make the fight last longer”. They move, they change poses, they hold their swords different, they kick, they jump, elude, bend, fall, hide, get hit, block, stand up. Is a real fight (often than once make you think that the producers use some kind of IRL reference, pretty obvious in some specific cases).

Blood. Is gore but not absurd, the blood has a reason and it looks like blood, it stains, it behaves as blood, is sticky and give a level of darkness and seriousness. Is not a walk in the beach, being hurt have CONSECUENCES and humans are not immortal, they don’t show up suddenly cured and with re growing limbs. Is kinda realistic (when the plot needs it). Be serious hurt and no matter if you are a top master, you will die (cries because HIM) (also don’t cry because some bastard is flexible).

Some backgrounds are so beautiful that can almost be watched as art. Wisteria flowers for the win, they are stunning and now I want one tree in my ceiling.

The characters have PERSONALITY. Even the most silent potato in a box have it. And their personalities GROW with the episodes. Specially Zenitsu and Inosuke.

Tanjiro is pretty much the Goku of the saga. A good soft boy who grows stronger with the power of the feelings and who is too kind to his own good.

Zenitsu is the coward, the Krilin, who can’t even fight in the beginner but who become a badass with the time.

Inosuke (my fav) is the Vegeta semi beast who shows that can behave when he wants, and who, somehow, pay more attention than Tanjiro. His growth is more evident because he passes from “Everyone is my enemy” to “I will die for you” very fast.

The secondary ones are more of the same. Great characters, even the evil ones. Some are on screen for 3 episodes and you love them to death and make you cry for days with PTSD. They have BACKGROUND. They all have motives, reason to why they are as they are, dreams, ideals, objectives, way to do the stuffs. Their personalities collide with other’s personalities, they interact, they have effect in each other, they are not in a bubble where nothing affect them. LIKE IN REAL LIFE.

The ladies are not useless bag of meat, they are not annoying lady in distress to save, they all give a fight and show they are capable, even the three cute childs of the butterflies. They also have opinions, they speak, they have point of views, with reasons, and others listen to them. Sorry, I’m just tired of the “girl who cry and is just pretty” of the animes lol.

Is drama, a lot of drama. The main characters are basically teenagers but they act in agreement with their historical surrounds (is first decade from 1900, so the culture is absolutely not similar to our) and situations (they are hunting demons, no time to make drama about bullshit).

It also has space to comedy. Perfect timing comedy, is a fun that make you smile as you cry of pain or laugh at random nonsense with almost perfect style.

It also has a space to not so Toxic Masculinity! See the main characters show high respect for the womans (and even full equality as Inosuke, who see womans just as the same as men), even when culturally can show the different. See secondary characters giving respect for the LIFE of the womans.

See the characters CRY. They are dudes and yet they cry more than me. And even when some of them are like “no, I don’t cry”, they don’t even stop. They accept they can be weak and vulnerable and not win all the time, and the only thing they see to do about it is BE BETTER.

So, no wonder why it has the success that it has. And unless they fuck it up BADLY in the next seasons, this anime will easily get a place as a Classic over time.

Score: 4.5/5 and 9/10 Welcome to the place of the Best Animes Ever

#Kimetsu no Yaiba #Demon Slayer #anime #anime review #anime critic #anime opinion

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dayseternal-blog · 2 years

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So, what's your top 5 musicals of all times? 👀🎤

Is this Imanga once again allowing me to jump on my soapbox for things no one else cares about!!!!!!!!! 😍😍

Starting from Top-Top-TOP FAVE to Also Top Fave!!:

1. Cats

Did I watch the recent movie? Nooooo. I'm way too scared to see if they ruined my #1 beloved musical as much as others say they did. I have loved the stage musical since I was a little girl because of the white cat, Victoria. Since I danced ballet, her beginning solo made me 🤩. People never understand why I love Cats. I just love the dancing!!! so much dancing!!!...and the fun songs...and the magic....I don't actually care about plot that much. BUT Cats does have a plot!!!!!!! Mr. Mistoffelees saves Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella gets reborn in the Heaviside Layer!!!! My childhood dream was to be cast in Cats as any one of them. Race doesn't matter because everyone's in makeup and wigs anyway 🥺 I'll be on Broadway in another life I guess...

2. West Side Story

The dancing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the music, of course, is just...the best. I had the opportunities to play the soundtrack on the clarinet in my high school orchestra AND dance a ballet piece in my last high school production, so the music is injected in my veins, I swear. Also, who doesn't love watching "gangs" of men dance with so much grace. I just adore this musical 💕💕 Every moment is so vivid and heartfelt. My third NaruHina fanfic was based on this musical.

3. Grease

John Travolta. omg. He's such a ham. As a kid, I did not at all register how absolutely uncool the T-Birds are...like the Pink Ladies are way too good for them. What I love about Grease is that there is so much more to appreciate about it when you're older and can understand what all the characters are talking about lolll. But also the songs are so much fun, the coming-of-age angst is real, and somehow, after alllll of the hijinks, the characters actually mature??!! This musical has arguably some of the best character development ever. Also the 50s poodle skirts context is just so cute.

4. Les Choristes

Coming in, completely unexpected with NO dancing whatsoever, is Les Choristes. I first watched this with my French Class, no subtitles, we had to try to comprehend it by ourselves. My teacher stopped the film and replayed scenes twice while we filled out worksheets about what was going on. I don't know what it was about this scene... "Action; réaction" where Rachin grabs his own talking hand, we just thought it was hilarious. We'd burst out laughing each time. Besides that, this film is beautiful. It's like a French Kinpachi-sensei with singing. We thought that Pépinot was just the most adorable little boy ever. The song "Cerf-volant, volant au vent, ne t'arrête pas..." that whole song was my internal soundtrack for those blessed weeks. And then when the movie was over, like absolute fangirls, we squealed over grown Jean-Baptiste Maunier, the actor for bad boy singing prodigy Pierre Morhange. Gosh. Good times. ONE DAY, FRANCE, ONE DAY.

5. The Sound of Music

Classic. As a small kid, I used to sing the songs in the shower! The songs are extremely kid-friendly despite the heavy stuff going on in the movie. In high school, the first dance I ever choreographed for a show was for the Ballet 1 girls to "My Favorite Things," and it turned out really, really cute. My older sister likes to tweak the lyrics for "The Lonely Goatherd" to be about me and my husband, and she actually sang it at our wedding😂. Basically, this musical is precious, and Julie Andrews is such a show-stealing star!!!

After that, honorable mentions in no particular order are My Fair Lady (plot & romance are good, Audrey Hepburn is 💗), Moulin Rouge! (soundtrack is amazing...Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor omgg, omggggg 😩), On the Town (this soundtrack IS my heartbeat, also GENE KELLY and FRANK SINATRA), The Phantom of the Opera (nothing beats watching this live), Fiddler on the Roof (has grown on me tremendously over the years), Rent (also has grown on me over time), A Chorus Line (I, uh, live vicariously through the auditionees' stress), Singin' In the Rain (classic, also, GENE KELLY), and Flower Drum Song (ok, it's like the first majority-Asian Am cast ever so I excuse the dated racism, the songs are fun).

My tastes in musicals run old thanks to my mother. I was watching at a young age films that made no coherent sense to me, but I didn't care. I just loved the music and dancing. I've ended up dancing to the majority of the soundtracks on this post for various performances, and noowwww, I feel like watching Cats. And Les Choristes. And On the Town. but it's really late.

#anon #*anon*#ANYONE TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE MUSICALS AND WHY AHHHHH #anyone out there who loves musicals as much as i do...#...#fun ask

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nitrateglow · 3 years

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Favorite films discovered in 2020

Well, this year sucked. I did see some good movies though. Some even made after I was born!

Perfect Blue (dir. Satoshi Kon, 1997)

I watch a lot of thrillers and horror movies, but precious few actually unsettle me in any lasting way. This cannot be said of Perfect Blue, which gave me one of the most visceral cinematic experiences of my life. Beyond the brief flashes of bloodletting (you will never look at a screwdriver the same way again), the scariest thing about Perfect Blue might be how the protagonist has both her life and her sense of self threatened by the villains. The movie’s prescience regarding public persona is also incredibly eerie, especially in our age of social media. While anime is seen as a very niche interest (albeit one that has become more mainstream in recent years), I would highly recommend this movie to thriller fans, whether they typically watch anime or not. It’s right up there with the best of Hitchcock or De Palma.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (dir. Sergio Leone, 1966)

Nothing is better than when an iconic movie lives up to the hype. Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef play off of one another perfectly. I was impressed by Wallach as Tuco in particular: his character initially seems like a one-dimensional greedy criminal, but the performance is packed with wonderful moments of humanity. Do I really need to say anything about the direction? Or about the wonderful storyline, which takes on an almost mythic feel in its grandeur? Or that soundtrack?

Die Niebelungen (both movies) (dir. Fritz Lang, 1924)

I did NOT expect to love these movies as much as I did. That they would be dazzlingly gorgeous I never doubted: the medieval world of the story is brought to vivid life through the geometrical mise en scene and detailed costuming. However, the plot itself is so, so riveting, never losing steam over the course of the four hours it takes to watch both movies. The first half is heroic fantasy; the second half involves a revenge plot of almost Shakespearean proportions. This might actually be my favorite silent Fritz Lang movie now.

Muppet Treasure Island (dir. Brian Henson, 1996)

I understand that people have different tastes and all, but how does this movie have such a mixed reception? It’s absolutely hilarious. How could anybody get through the scene with “THA BLACK SPOT AGGHHHHHHH” and not declare this a masterpiece of comedy? And I risk being excommunicated from the Muppet fandom for saying it, but I like this one more than The Great Muppet Caper. It’s probably now my second favorite Muppet movie.

Belle de Jour (dir. Luis Bunuel, 1967)

I confess I’m not terribly fond of “but was it real???” movies. They tend to feel gimmicky more often than not. Belle de Jour is an exception. This is about more than a repressed housewife getting her kicks working as a daytime prostitute. The film delves into victim blaming, trauma, class, and identity-- sure, this sounds academic and dry when I put it that way, but what I’m trying to say is that these are very complicated characters and the blurring of fantasy and reality becomes thought-provoking rather than trite due to that complexity.

Secondhand Lions (dir. Tim McCanlies, 2003)

The term “family movie” is often used as a synonym for “children’s movie.” However, there is an important distinction: children’s movies only appeal to kids, while family movies retain their appeal as one grows up. Secondhand Lions is perhaps a perfect family movie, with a great deal more nuance than one might expect regarding the need for storytelling and its purpose in creating meaning for one’s life. It’s also amazingly cast: Haley Joel Osment is excellent as the juvenile lead, and Michael Caine and Robert Duvall steal the show as Osment’s eccentric uncles.

The Pawnbroker (dir. Sidney Lumet, 1964)

Controversial in its day for depicting frontal nudity, The Pawnbroker shocks today for different reasons. As the top review of the film on IMDB says, we’re used to victims of great atrocities being presented as sympathetic, good people in fiction. Here, Rod Steiger’s Sol Nazerman subverts such a trope: his suffering at the hands of the Nazis has made him a hard, closed-off person, dismissive of his second wife (herself also a survivor of the Holocaust), cold to his friendly assistant, and bitter towards himself. The movie follows Nazerman’s postwar life, vividly presenting his inner pain in a way that is almost too much to bear. Gotta say, Steiger gives one of the best performances I have ever seen in a movie here: he’s so three-dimensional and complex. The emotions on his face are registered with Falconetti-level brilliance.

The Apartment (dir. Billy Wilder, 1960)

While not the most depressing Christmas movie ever, The Apartment certainly puts a good injection of cynicism into the season. I have rarely seen a movie so adept at blending comedy, romance, and satire without feeling tone-deaf. There are a lot of things to praise about The Apartment, but I want to give a special shoutout to the dialogue. “Witty” dialogue that sounds natural is hard to come by-- so often, it just feels smart-assy and strained. Not here.

Anatomy of a Murder (dir. Otto Preminger, 1959)

I’m not big into courtroom dramas, but Anatomy of a Murder is a big exception. Its morally ambiguous characters elevate it from being a mere “whodunit” (or I guess in the case of this movie, “whydunit”), because if there’s something you’re not going to get with this movie, it’s a clear answer as to what happened on the night of the crime. Jimmy Stewart gives one of his least characteristic performances as the cynical lawyer, and is absolutely brilliant.

Oldboy (dir. Park Chan-Wook, 2003)

Oldboy reminded me a great deal of John Webster’s 17th century tragedy The Duchess of Malfi. Both are gruesome, frightening, and heartbreaking works of art, straddling the line between sensationalism and intelligence, proving the two are not mutually exclusive. It’s both entertaining and difficult to watch. The thought of revisiting it terrifies me but I feel there is so much more to appreciate about the sheer craft on display.

Family Plot (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1976)

Family Plot is an enjoyable comedy; you guys are just mean. I know in an ideal world, Hitchcock’s swan song would be a great thriller masterpiece in the vein of Vertigo or Psycho. Family Plot is instead a silly send-up of Hitchcock’s favorite tropes, lampooning everything from the dangerous blonde archetype (with not one but two characters) to complicated MacGuffin plots. You’ll probably demand my film buff card be revoked for my opinion, but to hell with it-- this is my favorite of Hitchcock’s post-Psycho movies.

My Best Girl (dir. Sam Taylor, 1927)

Mary Pickford’s farewell to silent film also happens to be among her best movies. It’s a simple, charming romantic comedy starring her future husband, Charles “Buddy” Rogers. Pickford also gets to play an adult character here, rather than the little girl parts her public demanded she essay even well into her thirties. She and Rogers are sweet together without being diabetes-inducing, and the comedy is often laugh out loud funny. It even mocks a few tropes that anyone who watches enough old movies will recognize and probably dislike-- such as “break his heart to save him!!” (my personal most loathed 1920s/1930s trope).

Parasite (dir. Bong Joon-ho, 2019)

This feels like such a zeitgeist movie. It’s about the gap between the rich and the poor, it’s ironic, it’s depressing, it’s unpredictable as hell. I don’t like terms like “modern classic,” because by its very definition, a classic can only be deemed as such after a long passage of time, but I have a good feeling Parasite will be considered one of the definitive films of the 2010s in the years to come.

Indiscreet (dir. Stanley Donen, 1958)

Indiscreet often gets criticized for not being Notorious more or less, which is a shame. It’s not SUPPOSED to be-- it’s cinematic souffle and both Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant elevate that light material with their perfect chemistry and comedic timing. It’s also refreshing to see a rom-com with characters over 40 as the leads-- and the movie does not try to make them seem younger or less mature, making the zany moments all the more hilarious. It’s worth seeing for Cary Grant’s jig (picture above) alone.

The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (dir. Joseph Sargent, 1974)

This movie embodies so much of what I love about 70s cinema: it’s gritty, irreverent, and hard-hitting. It’s both hilarious and suspenseful-- I was tense all throughout the run time. I heard there was a remake and it just seems... so, so pointless when you already have this gem perfect as it is.

They All Laughed (dir. Peter Bogdonavich, 1981)

Bogdonavich’s lesser known homage to 1930s screwball comedy is also a weirdly autumnal movie. Among the last gasps of the New Hollywood movement, it is also marks the final time Audrey Hepburn would star in a theatrical release. The gentle comedy, excellent ensemble cast (John Ritter is the standout), and the mature but short-lived romance between Hepburn and Ben Gazarra’s characters make this a memorably bittersweet gem.

The Palm Beach Story (dir. Preston Sturges, 1942)

Absolutely hilarious. I was watching this with my parents in the room. My mom tends to like old movies while my dad doesn’t, but both of them were laughing aloud at this one. Not much else to say about it, other than I love Joel McCrea the more movies I see him in-- though it’s weird seeing him in comedies since I’m so used to him as a back-breaking man on the edge in The Most Dangerous Game!

Nothing Sacred (dir. William Wellman, 1937)

I tend to associate William Wellman with the pre-code era, so I’ve tried delving more into his post-code work. Nothing Sacred is easily my favorite of those films thus far, mainly for Carole Lombard but also because the story still feels pretty fresh due to the jabs it takes at celebrity worship and moral hypocrisy. For a satire, it’s still very warm towards its characters, even when they’re misbehaving or deluding themselves, so it’s oddly a feel-good film too.

Applause (dir. Rouben Mamoulian, 1929)

I love watching early sound movies, but my inner history nerd tends to enjoy them more than the part of me that, well, craves good, well-made movies. Most early sound films are pure awkward, but there’s always an exception and Applause is one of them. While the plot’s backstage melodrama is nothing special, the way the story is told is super sophisticated and expressive for this period of cinema history, and Helen Morgan makes the figure of the discarded burlesque queen seem truly human and tragic rather than merely sentimental.

Topaz (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1969)

Another late Hitchcock everyone but me seems to hate. After suffering through Torn Curtain, I expected Hitchcock’s other cold war thriller was going to be dull as dishwater, but instead I found an understated espionage movie standing in stark contrast to the more popular spy movies of the period. It’ll never be top Hitchcock, of course-- still it was stylish and enjoyable, with some truly haunting moments. I think it deserves more appreciation than it’s been given.

What were your favorite cinematic discoveries in 2020?

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purplenarwhal19 · 4 years

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COSMIC DANCER

so, here’s a v short story I wrote for class about the importance of exploration. two of the songs that are excerpted in my story I found through @basic-banshee ‘s fanfic Rebel Rebel which is one the best (probably the best) fanfics ever.

Also I don’t know how to do the cutoff thingy so it’s gonna be a long post 🤷‍♀️ so sorry

....

enjoy, I guess? 💕

COSMIC DANCER

Over the radio, a gentle guitar played, followed by T. Rex’s smooth and repetitive lyrics. I sighed, bliss. We were driving on a California road in our rusty tour bus. Sitting in our narrow duffel bag with my costars, with bemused smiles plastered across our faces. Cool air conditioning blew a soft breeze. We listened to beautiful, alternative music, an epic soundtrack for our journey. This was the life of a performer. A true actress.

It was the summer of 1971. I was an actress and dancer on the television and stage show, Desi Dance. We were a children’s show that taught people all about India’s rich culture and history. Dance, art, poetry, music, and food offered just a peek into Indian tradition. We had been performing and touring for six years, but it felt like we started the show yesterday.

“I danced myself right out the womb

Is it strange to dance so soon?”(1)

The guitar solo came into full sound with the backing vocals. It created a powerful feeling that filled my whole body with true hope and strength.

All my life I had danced. It was my escape, my passion, and my love. It felt like that was what I was made for. Reading also brought escape, when the pressure of being an actress became too much. Reciting poetry for my castmates or singing a song that was stuck in my head was so relaxing and freeing. The lyrics are what spoke to me about music, and while I had quite a large vocabulary, there were often times when I didn’t know what a word meant.

“Beraham, what is a womb?” I questioned the boy next to me, clad in loose fitting turquoise pants with gold embroidery.

“I don’t know, Shrishti,” Beraham said plainly.

Beraham and I both sat there, still enjoying it, yet dumbfounded. Curiosity, a crimson rash that we needed to itch, in that unreachable spot on your back. This infection spread throughout the whole cast, leaving all of us with that same itch.

Maybe I could ask my movement director when we get to the venue… I thought as I drifted off, wrapped up in the comfort of music and friendship.

The year was 1973. In the dressing room, now with a smaller cast, we were practicing lines and getting ready to film. I had been groomed with brushes, painted with makeup and had been dressed in the most gorgeous fabrics. My lengha was brilliant magenta with intricate canary yellow details, and paired with a simple sequinned pearly white top. I loved these days, dressing up, feeling beautiful like a royal queen.

To the left of me, a record player played a Paul Simon favourite, setting our moods to the upbeat song.

“The mother and child reunion

Is only a motion away

Oh, the mother and child reunion

Is only a moment away”(2)

A familiar feeling of confusion washed over me. Why is the reunion so important? Why were the mother and child separated? Who are they?

Who is my mother?

Where is she?

Everyone has a mother. Our director, our manager, our movement director, the children in the audience; everyone except me and my fellow actors.

Everyone except me.

I tried to close my perfectly designed eyes, to block out the image of my unfortunate life, but my body refused to listen to my command. Blinking wasn’t even in my control.

I felt so overwhelmed. I had no identity. Who am I? This was a question from too deep in my heart for me to bear.

It was too much. I wanted to leave, I had to get up. I willed my thin, stick-like legs to stand up, pushing, using all the strength I had, just to leave the room.

Nothing happened.

I tried again, hoping for something, some sign of my own independence.

Nothing.

My body wasn’t mine. My will, myself, I could not control it. My life wasn’t mine.

I looked around at my colleagues, chatting, laughing, and totally unaware of their inability to be free. Bound to our employers who dictate and orchestrate our every move.

“Oh, little darling of mine

I can’t for the life of me

Remember a sadder day

I know they say let it be

But it just don’t work out that way”(2)

Paul Simon was right, I still can’t remember a sadder day than that one. My life had changed forever.

As years passed, I began to feel emptier and emptier, resenting my profession, and hating my life. Those years also happened to be our most successful, as a show. The success changed everything. Our bosses got sloppy; high on the fame, as well as their drugs of choice.

Most notably, Arjun, our stage director, became addicted to heroin. It was a horrid sight to witness him become a shell of the person he used to be. It reminded me exactly of that sad, sad Velvet Underground song.

“Heroin, be the death of me

Heroin, it’s my wife and it’s my life

Because a mainline into my vein

Leads to a center in my head

And then I’m better off than dead”(3)

It broke my heart to see him like this. I couldn’t understand how he could inject a toxin into his body by choice. How he could slowly kill himself one high after another.

By then, I had realized that I wasn’t human. I was something else, like them, yet different; stronger, yet weaker.

I spoke with my closest companions, Beraham, Jaidev, and Mitali. They were as confused as I was the day I realized I entered this world without anyone, without a mother. They too began life motherless.

The directors, started our show with shining faces, and now were graying and worn out. We kept the same expressions over the years, never seeing a wrinkle appear, never feeling an ache or pain, never feeling or looking our age.

We hadn’t aged in the past 20 years. We were to be used, like the puppets we were, forever.

“What can we do?” Mitali questioned, urgency overtaking her usual calm nature.

“Nothing,” Jaidev said. “It’s hopeless…”

“I want you to know deep in the cell of my heart

I really want to go

There is another world… a better world

Well, there must be…”(4)

I felt like the Smiths were reading my mind; I wanted another world, a better world, and I hoped with all my heart and soul that there would be one.

This was the lowest depth of our depression. We considered “ending it all”, whatever that meant.

Most of the time our directors listened to nonsense music filled with empty, happy thoughts that had less meaning than my life. When we listened to the melancholy music of Miles Davis, Billie Holiday and Chet Baker, that our bosses listened to so rarely, it felt reassuring: someone else suffered as we did.

Determined to solve this problem, I decided to speak with the director about our conditions. I had heard the humans refer to us as “puppets”, inanimate objects who could only recite lines, made only of felt, and paint. This sounded as bad as any slur that I’d heard before. They pushed and shoved us around, threw us in crowded duffel bags. This had to stop. We needed to break away from the chains the humans bound us in.

“Today we will close our show with an excerpt from Keralan poet, Kamala Surayya. “I am sinner, I am saint— I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” I paused, taking a moment to think of the right words.

“I cannot read the words of a woman who has lived and loved, while I am kept here, held captive by you humans!” I angrily burst, far less eloquent than I had imagined, emotion overtaking my composed mask.

My face turned a deep scarlet shade of red, reminiscent of tamaatar; something that had never happened before. The camera people, directors, and executives stood in place, too shocked to move or speak, the puppet that they had manipulated for so many years had finally taken control and spoken back.

Divya, a camera person, pale and shocked, stuttered, “W-what is happening?” She glanced around nervously at the other people in the room to see if they saw the same thing.

“Divya, you aren’t hallucinating. This is very real. My costars and I are conscious beings; we may not be able to move like you humans, but we deserve the same treatment as you. We have thoughts and feelings, hopes and dreams. The way you speak about us is degrading. The way you touch and move us is disrespectful. We deserve respect and our thoughts and opinions are as valid as yours,” I spoke with a dignified tone. “The cast and I would like to have a meeting with all of you to discuss our treatment.”

Wide eyed, the crew, obediently agreed and took us to our cramped dressing room. The room was painted a pale yellow with a cheap elephant decal on the wall that was torn and peeling on the edges. This tiny room barely housed all thirteen of us cast members. With all of the behind the scenes crew in our room, we were packed in tight, like sardines in a tin.

“We have called this meeting today to negotiate our rights and responsibilities within this community,” Mitali serenely began. “Our citizenship within our show needs to include us as full members with equal rights and consideration. We understand that your use of us has immense benefits for you, with few benefits for us.”

“You make significant profits from our labor. Your wage is even plentiful enough for you, Arjun, to fund your addiction.” Jaidev scoffed.

With a quivering chin, Arjun begged, “What can we do to fix our mistakes?”

Beraham blustered, “ We want a change in your behaviour!”

“We cannot move on our own, so we expect help and kindness. When you have moved us in the past, even just five minutes ago, you throw around our bodies, like the inanimate objects you believe us to be. We want to go outside and see the world. We want more space in our dressing room, and we expect some real answers about who and what we are,” I demanded.

Afters some discussions we learned that we were the descendants of Saraswati, the Goddess of wisdom and art. The movement directors, who were called “puppeteers”, had no idea that we could do more than just read prepared lines, until we had all travelled to America. This was too far away from the Pundita, that had given them the divine puppets that we were. They could not receive guidance. They had no idea as to what we were capable of, or how to teach us.

That Pundita was my mother. Her name was Tavni, and I was given a picture of her.

She had a golden, caramel complexion, with large eyes and hazel pupils. She had a smile that lit up a whole room and round, rosy cheeks.

I noticed the similarities in our appearances, the way she had crafted me to look so much like her.

I had found my identity.

Learning all of this information brought a new sensation to my eyes; something burning and prickly, and a wet droplet traveling down my cheek. I was crying! This feeling brought a warm emotion of relief, of content and of closure.

Soon after these discoveries, I realized that I loved my job. Even though the past years had been rough, this was what I was meant to do. If conditions improved, I would truly be happy.

I was going to do what my mother created me for. Dancing and performing, bringing India to the whole world and teaching about our glorious culture. I would do just that.

“I danced myself into the tomb

I danced myself into the tomb

Is it strange to dance so soon?

I danced myself into the tomb…”(1)

THE END

SONGS REFERENCED:

(1) Cosmic Dancer, T. Rex, 1971

(2) Mother and Child Reunion, Paul Simon, 1972

(3) Heroin, The Velvet Underground, 1967

(4) Asleep, The Smiths, 1987

#writing #inspo #art #exploration #indian #lengha #my writing #please be kind #I actually got a perfect mark on this and I am so fucking excited #PLEASE READ

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patternsintraffic · 3 years

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My 100 Favorite Albums of the 2000s: #80-#71

I'm back for more listing! I've really been enjoying finally getting this project posted. Revisiting these albums and just seeing the list immortalized online has been really cool. I can see myself referencing this in the future when I want to look back on some of the albums I loved (and perhaps since forgot about) when I was young. Hope it's giving you some of the same fond memories!

80. The Fray - The Fray (2009)

Another band that isn't going to do much for my scene cred, but I was unabashedly embracing pop music by the end of the decade and The Fray were writing great pop songs. The first half of this self-titled record is a murderer's row of soft rock jams, and while the back half slows down the tempo there still aren't any serious missteps. I saw the band play with Jack's Mannequin while touring on this album and it was a perfect bill. They put on a great live show. You heard it here first: platinum-selling band The Fray are underappreciated. I will die on this hill.

79. Matt White - Best Days (2007)

The store playlist at Aéropostale introduced me to Matt White while I was working my first job at the local mall. I heard the songs on that playlist so many times that it was an accomplishment if a track was merely tolerable. White's groovy, bluesy "Anybody Else" was a bonafide standout. I later heard the title track and decided to pick up the CD, which ended up being a gateway from rock and roll snobbery into the pop world. This album is all cliché, heart-on-sleeve love songs, but White's smooth voice and playful arrangements make it a joy to listen to.

78. The Damnwells - One Last Century (2009)

I didn't discover The Damnwells until well into the 2010s, but after diving into their discography One Last Century definitely deserves to be represented on this list. This is my favorite Damnwells album, and it showcases Alex Dezen at the height of his songwriting powers. It's full of great pop rock songs that are mostly built around an acoustic guitar, with a touch of Americana thrown in for good measure. "Closer Than We Are" is the kind of song that it seems like anyone could write over four simple chords, but just about no one can. That's the beauty of songwriting.

77. We Are Scientists - With Love and Squalor (2006)

This debut album from We Are Scientists is hooky, fun, and propulsive. It served as the soundtrack to many a Nintendo 64 play session with my college roommate. These songs are perfect for having a fun, carefree time in a dorm room. Or anywhere else for that matter. While most rock bands tend to write quieter verses that give way to more energetic choruses, With Love and Squalor zigs where others zag. Many of the tracks feature riffy, spastic verses that open up into smooth, melodic choruses. It's always a breath of fresh air when that chorus hits in "Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt" or "Worth the Wait" and it feels like all the chaos falls into place.

76. Wakefield - Which Side Are You On? (2005)

This album was my introduction to Wakefield, and I thought it was amazing. It jumps from driving rock tunes (inject that riff on "Without You" straight into my veins) to unabashed pop ("Only One," "Girl with a Beat") to brooding, experimental interludes ("Clean 1145"). It even features a Butch Walker co-write on the edgy "After School Special." As it turns out, existing Wakefield fans largely hated this album because it was such a hard left turn from their debut American Made. I gave that album a try after falling head over heels for Which Side Are You On? and I thought it was bratty, corny, and completely devoid of substance. I'll take the dynamic, alt-rock version of Wakefield, please. Sometimes the correct take isn't the popular one.

75. She Wants Revenge - She Wants Revenge (2006)

She Wants Revenge does a lot with a limited palette. A drum machine, some moody synths, bass, the occasional guitar lick, and Justin Warfield's low vocals that seem to have a range of about four notes. Reminiscent of Joy Division or contemporaries Interpol, Warfield makes the most of his limited vocal chops by penning great hooks over DJ Adam Bravin's darkwave backdrops. Looking back, some of the lyrics seem a bit edgy for edgy's sake (the shock value of "Tear You Apart" has long since worn off), but this is still a fun album to groove and sing along to. I saw the band live after this album's release and it's the only rock show I've ever been to that turned into a full-on bumpin', grindin' dance party. The whole room just felt kind of dirty and sexy, and the energy was electric. Of all the shows I've attended over the years, that was easily one of the most memorable.

74. Vaux - Beyond Virtue, Beyond Vice (2006)

Beyond Virtue, Beyond Vice probably gets the closest to straight hardcore out of any album on this list. It can be brash, punishing, dense, and difficult to connect with at first, as evidenced by two of the first three tracks, "Identity Theft" and "Cocaine James." However, it has just as many, if not more, moments that are soft, contemplative, and brooding. See "Need to Get By," "Never Better," and "The Rope, the Pistol, the Candlestick." I have a weird relationship with this album in that I never really liked it in the way I like most of the albums on this list. It isn't something I ever wanted to play on repeat, and the listening experience wasn't particularly fun at times. But 14 years later I still think about this album often, and I listen to it more than most of the others. It's just objectively good, and cool, and interesting. Like a case study in what would probably be my favorite album ever if my tastes leaned more into hardcore. Also I'm pretty sure if you Google "banger" you get redirected to audio of the single "Are You with Me."

73. The Alternate Routes - Good and Reckless and True (2007)

During my sophomore year of college, I hosted a radio show at UMBC. I vividly remember playing "Time Is a Runaway" and "Ordinary" during my very first broadcast, and the band created a stir among my 5-10 listeners (hey, that was pretty good for UMBC radio!). I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning had opened my eyes to folk and country by this time, and The Alternate Routes blended those influences with the rock and pop that had been my genres of choice for so long. The songs on Good and Reckless and True are honest and descriptive; aching and sometimes effectively bare. They also shred some riffs when appropriate. This is tasteful, professional, engaging songwriting at its best. In 2007, I wasn't quite ready to fully embrace the slower and quieter moments on this record. If it came out in 2021, this would probably be my album of the year.

72. People in Planes - As Far As the Eye Can See... (2006)

People in Planes are kind of a weird band, and As Far As the Eye Can See… is a weird album. There's a lot of classic rock influence, and a lot of experimentation. A lot of big guitars and a lot of smaller melodic moments. "Barracuda" is a riff-tastic opener and "If You Talk Too Much (My Head Will Explode)" is an equally perfect and puzzling soft rock jam. "Falling by the Wayside" builds steadily from acoustic beginnings to a big rock band finish, and "Penny" is the only song in my catalog that features a horn section and includes the lyrics "I'm a machine, but I'm a funny color." If nothing else, listening to this album is a true experience.

71. The Academy Is... - Almost Here (2005)

"Attention, attention, may I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room?" This call to arms opens Almost Here, the debut full-length from The Academy Is…, and also opened many of their live sets. It's hard to argue with the effectiveness of coming out of the gates that way, and this album has earned scene classic status in no small part for its earworm melodies and memorable lyrics. Almost Here is overwhelmingly binge-able, as not only does time fly when you're having fun, but these ten tracks clock in at a brisk 33 minutes. I just kept wanting to start the album over to spend more time with these songs. Is it possible to listen to "The Phrase That Pays" without singing along? I haven't seen proof that it is.

#albums of the decade #best of the 2000s #top100 #countdown #nostalgia trip

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callmehawkeye · 5 years

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Watched in 2019

Big Little Lies (Season 1): This is such a solid cast and story, albeit predictable. I loved it as a mini-series and do not understand why it needs a second season; but I’ll be watching regardless.

Taylor Swift Reputation Stadium Tour (2018): IIIIIIIIIII don’t think this setting is the best for Taylor. I go back and forth on her as a person often, but dig over half her catalog. The big theatrical show doesn’t quite suit her particular stage presence. She is great when just talking to the crowd with her guitar or piano. Regardless, she was definitely having fun, it was entertaining enough, and it’s cool she put this up on Netflix so I don’t have to amputate a body part to afford a ticket.

If Beale Street Could Talk (2018): Without a doubt, this is perhaps the most genuine and fulfilling depiction of a (hetero) romantic love story put to film I’ve witnessed in recent memory. The actors and their chemistry were breathtaking.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018): Hands down the best Spider-Man movie to date. Soundtrack was perfection. Story was great. Characters were amazing. I want to protect Miles with my dying breath. Unique animation. Deservedly kicked Disney’s ass this award season.

Bumblebee (2018): Oddly endearing? Easily the best Transformers movie, and the only one I’ll recognize.

A Star is Born (2018): I’m sure I’d like this more if I weren’t a fan of the other 3. Lacked subtlety. Overhyped. It’s fine. The only best part was the rehab scene.

Fyre Fraud (2019): The Hulu documentary about the disastrous Fyre Festival. Superior of the two, in production and scope.

Abducted in Plain Sight (2017): WHAT. THE. FUCK. A must-see for true crime enthusiasts.

Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (2019): This is more or less the same thing if you have already spent a little more time on this case than the average person. Good content for first-timers.

Girlfriends Day (2017): A nice, fast watch to pass the time.

Fyre Festival (2019): The other Fyre Festival documentary. To me, the lesser because it is produced from people who were on the inside. Which you’d think, “Oh so then they’d know.” But their bias and attempts to scrub themselves from the narrative are obvious.

The Favourite (2018): This made my little queer heart so happy. Great characters.

Everybody Knows (2019): A little on the nose in the mystery itself (just watch the actors in the background). But the performances were great. Loved the setting. Appropriate ending. Good job.

Isn’t It Romantic (2019): I loved this. I feel like I’ve written something exactly like this before. Very endearing and satisfying to watch.

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019): It felt a little long, unsatisfying at some parts and rushed. But it’s a great bookend to a great series.

They Shall Not Grow Old (2019): Very impressive filmmaking and editing. I loved learning how they accomplished it in the featurette at the end of the screening.

Arctic (2019): Now THIS is how you make a survival movie. 90 minutes. No romance. Brutal reality without becoming melodramatic. Mads Mikkelsen cast in the lead...

Don’t Knock Twice (2016): Pleh. I hated the pacing and editing. Called out the “twist” immediately as a joke because I didn’t expect this movie to be that nuanced (magic done without permission, even with the intent to be good, is bad magic).

Captain Marvel (2019): My god this was so much fun and rejuvenated my interest in the MCU. I’m absolutely dreading Endgame and not for the reasons you think.

Greta (2019): Great performances, absolutely tense, very creepy and fun.

1922 (2017): What a great fucking motif.

Climax (2019): This was quite the sit. A literal 90 minute bad LSD trip from an up-close perspective. God I hated it.

Michael Che Matters (2016): I’ve never seen a standup special start so strong and progressively get weaker like this before...

Us (2019): As I said on Twitter -- it seems to me primarily casual or non-horror fans think Us is the greatest horror film of all time and is going to rejuvenate or “save” the genre. Then primarily veteran fans think it’s weak and vague. I think both viewpoints are shortsighted and formed from either category being stuck in their perspectives. For me, the movie was neither. (I loved it).

The Beach Bum (2019): Another movie I can’t believe I sat all the way through.

Leaving Neverland (2019): I stand with Wade and James.

Queer Eye (Season 3): Who needs antidepressants? Not me!

Homecoming: A Film By Beyoncé (2019): Beychella reigns once again!!

Dancing Queen (Season 1): This was very sweet. I never thought I could sit through anything with insufferable dance moms, but Justin/Alyssa makes it so engaging and watchable. Stupid to end on a cliffhanger, however.

Avengers: Endgame (2019): ..............B+ At least it was a million times better than Infinity War. And I had fun.

Booksmart (2019): This hit so close to home. Sure, the coming of age movie is nothing new. But there was something liberating about the characters in this one that were terribly stereotypical and much more relatable. To me, anyway.

Long Shot (2019): Great music, great relationship, great laughs. This was a fun, solid watch of a romcom.

Hail Satan? (2019): I want to inject this documentary directly into my veins.

Amazing Grace (2019): The live footage of Aretha Franklin recording her Amazing Grace album at the church in Watts.

Meeting Gorbachev (2019): I got to see this documentary at a theater where Wener Herzog himself was hosting a Q&A and introduced this film. Maybe it made me more biased to liking it. But I honestly felt like I learned a lot.

Missing Link (2019): First movie of the year I didn’t complete/walked out of. I let it have an hour. First time I’ve ever been disappointed in Laika. I can’t believe it. It was so dull and I kept waiting for something to happen.

Little (2019): This was sweet. Issa Rae is dipped in gold. BUT it felt like there was an outline, not a script. Lots of dropped threads. And a weirdly out of place, glaring, punching-down trans joke??!

Tolkien (2019): Wow. I really liked this. Great pacing, shifting between time frames. Even better performances and relationships. Made me think of my own fellowship a lot. This is how biopics should be done.

The Biggest Little Farm (2019): WONDERFUL documentary covering the years of building up a sustainable farm from less than scratch.

The Hustle (2019): God, this was a long, humorless sit. At least Anne looked stunning.

The Sun is Also a Star (2019): This isn’t more realistic than romantic comedies, or teen love films. But it’s more enjoyable than most. The leads are great and have electric chemistry. New York is framed beautifully.

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019): I am blessed by this Keanu Reevessance.

Fleabag (Season 1): This is probably going to be the best thing I watch this year.

Fleabag (Season 2): Yup. Confirmed. Something very special would need to come along from June to December to change this mindset. I highly recommend this. Watch it. Go in blind. Watch it!!

Pavarotti (2019): I enjoy documentaries where I feel I really learn about the subject. Beautiful music, beautiful memories, beautiful life.

Rocketman (2019): I wish more biopics were like this. It was wonderful and such a grand time.

Lorena (2019): A deep dive into the Bobbitt case, including the woman herself. I have such empathy and love for Lorena. You should watch it and learn about the incident yourself.

The Last Man in San Francisco (2019): Go in blind. Don’t look it up. Just go. it’s the most beautiful film I’ve seen so far this year. I wish there were more male protagonists like this.

Toy Story 4 (2019): I was so skeptical. It more than exceeded my expectations. Just go in prepared to have your heart ripped in two.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019): They’re learning. Out of the newer films, this one has the less amount of people. Now make another film like this, only extend the monster fight scenes. Less. People.

Child’s Play (2019): This was fun. Not much more to say. More Aubrey in things!

Men in Black International (2019): Honestly, this was better than the second or third ones. I legitimately enjoyed myself. It was funny. The cast was charming. The otherworldly aliens were interesting. And I’m so proud of Les Twins.

Grace and Frankie (Season 5) :This is always a good time for me. I love watching this show when I want to take a break from more dedicated watches. I love these actresses with all my heart. June Diane Raphael is goals.

Midsommar (2019): This was such a fun aesthetic to watch. I was so uncomfortable throughout.

Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am (2019): Ugh, my hearrrrrtt.

Maiden (2019): Documentary about the first all-female crew who competed in the 1985-86 Whitbread Round the World Race. The woman next to me in the theater was the same age as the women featured in old footage and modern day talking head interviews -- and she was just sobbing by the end. Solidarity.

Frankenstein’s Monster’s Monster, Frankenstein (2019): 30 minutes well spent. Fucking hilarious.

Stranger Things (Season 3): God, what a fun season. I am still Steve.

Queer Eye (Season 4): I need 54 more seasons, kthx.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019): My absolute favorite battle sequence in a Marvel movie. Such a good time.

Hobbs & Shaw (2019): My first and last Fast movie. Goddamn I was so bored.

Bring the Soul: The Movie (2019): Wow, this was brutal. I get it wasn’t all of the footage, but they seemed to mostly focus on members being sick and injured and miserable. I didn’t understand the love for this movie when all it did was highlight how exhausted the boys are. I suppose it was meant to be inspiring, but I only felt bad for them. I just ranted about them needing a break and thank god they finally have one -- apt timing!

Burn the Stage: The Movie (2018): I went back to the earlier film with the hopes of... Higher hopes. And they were fulfilled. Such cute and uplifting footage.

Blinded by the Light (2019): God I love Springsteen. This movie is a great homage to his music. It’s not a straight-up musical, and that’s lovingly the point. Some things never change.

It: Chapter Two (2019): This was a slog compared to the first part. Much like the miniseries. Much like the book.

Parasite (2019): I, a college student with very little free time -- let alone free time to go to the movies -- saw this in theaters twice. I tried to go a third time but then finals happened. Go see it. Go see it blind. I'm not really doing end-year lists anymore but this is without a doubt my favorite film from 2019.

BTS World Tour: Love Yourself (2019): Most fun I've had in a theater in some time. I feel like I curled up into the tiniest ball at some point out of pure joy that couldn't be contained.

Frozen II (2019): This was quite plot-heavy for a sequel. I loved how many songs they were. It's an acceptable sequel. A lot of weak themes and choices, however, if you think about it for more than a few minutes. Overall delightful.

Jojo Rabbit (2019): Speaking of delightful. Taika Waititi continues to be my favorite living writer-director. This is such a solid portrayal of Nazism without glorifying it. Always go the Mel Brooks route and make it a comedy; they can't turn it around and make the imagery propaganda. I have high hopes for Roman Griffin Davis and his future career.

Knives Out (2019): This was quite fun. I love a good mystery with a large ensemble cast like this. It didn't blow my mind of anything -- I saw every turn coming -- but that's just because I credit it to being such a lonely kid who read so many mystery novels.

2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014

#watch list

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kidsviral-blog · 6 years

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There's An Unlicensed "Frozen" App Where You Deliver Anna's Baby

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/theres-an-unlicensed-frozen-app-where-you-deliver-annas-baby/

There's An Unlicensed "Frozen" App Where You Deliver Anna's Baby

Let it grow. It’s free, it’s insane, and we played it so you don’t have to.

1. It’s called Anna Giving Birth, and it’s an unlicensed game where Anna from Frozen is pregnant — and it’s up to you to deliver her child.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Yeah.

2. The first thing you see in the game is this distorted psychedelic parrot.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

In lieu of a title card or developer credits you get this stretched-out Lisa Frank-esque macaw on a field of not-quite Circus Peanut orange.

3. We then cut to a scrapbook montage of Anna and Kristoff’s courtship, wedding, and implicit sexual union. In the final slide Anna is positively glowing in the final months of her pregnancy.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Literally glowing, because everything in this game is literally glowing. Oddly seductive, public-domain, smooth jazz is playing under this scene and continues to loop through the entire game.

4. Then the game begins. A very pregnant Anna lies before you, stomach exposed. A bouncing cursor indicates toward the “Foetus ECG Monitor.”

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Like newborns ourselves, we are thrust into a world where childbirth in a pre-industrial Nordic feudal state is reliant upon both technology and magic.

5. A sort of helpful cursor indicates you should drag the monitor to her stomach and kind of move it around.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

The heart indicator gradually fills up with blue.

6. Next the bouncing cursor indicates a hypodermic needle — and a red X on Anna’s vein.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Wait no but

7. Anna smiles lifelessly as you ease the epidural into her bloodstream.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

This is happening. You are injecting a Disney Princess with a hypodermic needle on your telephone. Perhaps you are on the train.

8. Good thumnsnight, Anna.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

The thumbs-up in the corner approves. The cursor next indicates one of a series of magical, glowing orbs. You know — childbirth orbs.

9. This is a good time to mention that non-skippable ads pop up if you stop playing the game, even for a second.

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Game of War: Fire Age / Via Machine Zone Inc.

Why, that’s Kate Upton! Hello, Kate Upton! Do you know where you are right now? How could you? How could anyone have predicted things would come to this?

10. In maybe the first and only Frozen-y part of the game, you drag the first orb across Anna’s stomach to apparently freeze it for some reason. She develops an icy patch over her belly.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Anna, you of all people should know it is not a good idea to Frozen your baby. The whole movie is basically about you getting Frozened and Unfrozened.

11. Now it wants you to pick up the scalpel. The scalpel.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Sexy, royalty-free computer jazz is still playing as you select the scalpel and — as with everything else — drag it to Anna’s general belly area.

12. You are now performing a cesarean section on Anna from Frozen.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Your delicate incision with the glowing scalpel leaves a magenta-colored opening in her stomach. According to WebMD, some reasons for choosing a C-section over vaginal birth could include fetal breech positioning, an especially large or multiple fetuses, or maternal diseases that could become exacerbated by the stress of labor.

13. Here’s an ad for a game about cool cars.

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Racing Rivals / Via Cie Games

Vroom, vroom, download now.

14. Anna now has a hot-pink wound on her pregnant stomach. The bouncing cursor indicates midwifery orb No. 2.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

How much time has passed? Five minutes? Fifteen years? How long has Anna been asleep? How do you know you’re even awake?

15. HEY COOL WHAT IS GOING ON

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

THE ORB DECIDES WHO SHALL ENTER THIS WORLD AND WHO SHALL DEPART IT THERE IS NO FATE IN THIS LIFE, NO TRUTH, NO CHANCE THERE IS ONLY THE WILL OF THE ORB

16. Success! The glowing orb extracts a baby from Anna’s abdominal incision. But no time to celebrate yet — the cursor wants you to use the scalpel again. It wants you to use the scalpel on the baby.

View this image ›

Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Are you going to harm the baby?

17. You are not going to harm the baby. Instead, you cut the umbilical cord.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

The groovy soundtrack is now supplemented with crying baby noises, but anyone can see that the baby is not crying. Anyone can see this.

18. Disembodied floating hands abscond with the crying-not-crying baby while Anna remains blissfully unconscious with a magical orb resting in her abdomen.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

She has never seen her child.

19. Kate Upton again.

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Game of War: Fire Age / Via Machine Zone Inc.

Hi, Kate Upton.

20. Now for the final stage in any childbirth — using a magic wand to heal the cesarean incision, leaving a scar-free, perfectly toned stomach underneath.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Little girls need to know that childbirth is fun, painless, and free of consequence.

21. A starburst transition suddenly fills the screen.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Because more glowing.

22. The disembodied hands carry the baby to what appears to be a digital cooking scale in someone’s kitchen.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

You tap the scale to find out how big a baby you made. Maybe this is your score? Do future attempts result in larger babies? Let’s not find out.

Update: The baby is always the same weight.

23. The baby is placed on a bed. It has sticky, non-slip bathtub flowers concealing its genitalia.

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Or possibly sea anemones.

24. The cursor instructs you on how to swaddle the baby, to keep the baby warm and to hide the baby’s shame.

View this image ›

Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

It is easily one of the most advanced blanket-folding simulations you will ever try.

25. Success! The baby is so warm that the size of its head has grown 20%.

View this image ›

Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

The baby makes cooing noises. Its face does not move or change.

26. You win! Anna, now awake, looks at her newborn child with uncertainty as if to say, “Something’s not right. That’s not my baby. Where’s my baby?”

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Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Kristoff appears similarly unprepared for fatherhood, as confining as the ill-fitting royal garb that the life he married into demands. He realizes too late that wealth, too, is a kind of slavery, and he longs to feel the snow collecting in his beard, and to walk long, flawless rivers of ice. Two weeks hence, he will be gone in the night.

The baby, for its part, appears too stupid to ever to be unhappy. Each day, Anna will wonder if it’s too late to leave the child to the trolls, as it mindlessly bangs a wooden block against its chubby thigh. She and Elsa will grow distant once more, the responsibilities of parenthood and the monarchy creeping like a frost on their patience with each other. Family was their first palace and their first prison, and alone together, they will once again succumb to the cold.

27. Thank You!

View this image ›

Anna Giving Birth / Via Developer: Oleg Vinogorodov

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/danielkibblesmith/let-it-grow-let-it-grooow

#apps #games

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rob-blog1234 · 6 years

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WEEKEND TV HOT FILM PICKS!

Check out my guide to the top films on TV this weekend, the best of the rest and what to avoid at all costs. Enjoy!

LATE FRIDAY 23rd FEBRUARY

HOT PICK!

Syfy @ 2310 Twelve Monkeys (1995) *****

I present to you Terry Gilliam’s greatest achievement with this extremely detailed, rich and complex story introducing some of the most memorable characters in film. Twelve Monkeys is an extremely accomplished Time Travel Sci-Fi adventure dealing with multiple themes and concepts through some amazing storytelling. Even with its multiple time lines, flashbacks and crazy plot Gilliam feeds the story to us with amazing skill also treating us to some amazing cinematography and backdrops of a dark and bleak future world.

Gilliam is notorious for his almost stubborn attention to tiny details. Each scene is busy with cogs and mechanisms and such richness it’s sometimes hard to take it all in, but this all adds to the overall effect and feel of the film.

A huge amount of this film’s success lies in the amazing performances from all the cast. Particular praise goes to Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt who bring to the screen quite possibly their greatest performances to date.

The film is set in the future where a virus has wiped out the majority of human life and the survivors live underground where they are safe. Attempting to find a cure the head scientists send James Cole (Willis) back to the year 1996 to gather information. When he is sent to 1990 by mistake and after a fight he finds himself in a mental institution where he meets the wild eyed and crazed Jeffrey Goines (Pitt). It really is a roller coaster of events from here.

The joy of this film is that it never ages, it always seems a fresh, new and clever concept that always rewards. Definitely up in my Top 5 Time Travel films. Twelve Monkeys is a masterpiece. I have high hopes for the new TV series based on this film. I hope it becomes a good companion piece and not a scar on the memory of this original success. Watch this!

Best of the rest:

TCM @ 1655 The Wrong Man (1956) ****

E4 @ 2100 X-Men: First Class (2011) ****

Film4 @ 2100 Alien (1979) *****

Sony @ 2100 The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011) ****

Dave @ 2200 Kill Bill Vol 2 (2004) ****

Horror @ 2255 The Devil's Rejects (2005) ***

CBS @ 2300 Raw Deal (1986) ***

Film4 @ 2320 Danger: Diabolik (1968) ***

ITV3 @ 0005 Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007) ****

Film4 @ 0125 The Duke of Burgundy (2014) ****

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

5* @ 2305 Need for Speed (2014) * AVOID!

Officially my 96th favourite film released in 2014.

NOTE: I have seen 96 films released in 2014.

Car action trash - looking out of the window at the road for an hour will probably inspire more interest and fun... or sitting on a spike.

SATURDAY 24th FEBRUARY

HOT PICKS!

More4 @ 2100 The King's Speech (2010) *****

The King’s Speech is very deserving of its critical acclaim. Tom Hooper did a fantastic job directing but the main success of this film is down to Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush’s powerhouse performances. It has a wonderful vein of humour running throughout. Subtle humour with a lot of heart. This film is inspirational and also interesting to delve into Britain’s history as well as the challenges faced by those with a crippling speech impediment. If you need one feel good factor this weekend, stick this to the top of your list.

Film4 @ 2100 Aliens (1986) *****

This time it’s War! Aliens is one of the most successful sequels of all time. It not only continued an amazing story with one of the most impressive extra-terrestrial beings ever seen on film but also completely changed the style. Ridley Scott’s original is an amazing accomplishment and stands tall as a fantastic Horror / Sci-Fi, with this sequel James Cameron injected a dangerous dose of action and adrenalin turning it into a high powered action adventure Sci-Fi that makes this film my personal favourite of the series of films. This is mainly down to the rich characters and great performances by everyone involved. The casting and character development creates high emotional attachment which adds to great effect as they one by one encounter the almost indestructible Xenomorphs with sometimes fatal consequences. Aliens is set 57 years after the original and Ripley has been in hyper sleep all this time. We follow a crack team of Marines with Ripley in tow as adviser as they go back to LV-426 after contact is lost by the Terra-forming colony there. It has amazing special effects for its time and had to rely on physical effects as opposed to today’s CGI saturated Sci-Fi films. This is an amazing action spectacular that simply must be seen. It’s also well worth investing in the Alien Anthology on Blu ray, it’s great value for money, both the image and sound is crisp and clear and worthy of being in everyone’s collection.

C4 @ 2250 Dredd (2012) ****

In a dark and dysfunctional future crime is at an all-time high and policed by Judges - these are judge, jury and executioner - dealing out swift and brutal justice to those flouting the law. Karl Urban plays our downturned mouthed hero - Judge Dredd - a seemingly heartless, brutal and ruthless Judge but one of the very best in the business. This is a great adaption of the comic series and with a great sense of pace, amazing visuals - namely the slow motion ultra-violent sprays of blood - and booming soundtrack this is an action movie to remember. Need a dose of Action in your weekend? Make way for Judge Dredd.

Sony @ 2320 Sleepers (1996) ****

Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Bacon, Brad Pitt… Need I go on? Sleepers is an excellent crime drama following the story of four men who were friends as children when an unfortunate prank accidentally killed someone. They were sent to reform school where they were beaten and raped by the guards. Their paths cross once again as adults and they take the opportunity for revenge on the guards that brutalised them as children. This film is extremely well put together, very engaging with a great cast and a heart breaking story. I’ve always thought this film deserved more credit. Give it a try, you won’t be disappointed.

Best of the rest:

5* @ 1110 James and the Giant Peach (1996) ***

TCM @ 1125 The Wrong Man (1956) ****

True @ 1100 The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959) ****

Film4 @ 1100 Napoleon Dynamite (2004) ****

5Spike @ 1330 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) ****

TCM @ 1825 The Manchurian Candidate (1962) ****

Horror @ 1840 The War of the Worlds (1953) ****

ITV2 @ 1905 The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014) ***

5* @ 2100 21 Jump Street (2012) ****

Comedy @ 2200 So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993) ***

5* @ 0135 The Town (2010) ****

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Sony @ 1630 After Earth (2013) * AVOID!

No. Just no. I'm not going to waste words on this garbage. Take heed from the films tag line... Danger is Real. Fear is a choice. AVOID!

SUNDAY 25th FEBRUARY

HOT PICKS!

Horror @ 2255 They Live (1988) ****

I love a bit of John Carpenter in my film diet. Especially 1988 cult classic They Live. Rowdy Roddy Piper is Nada - an out of work construction worker who hits the city in search of work. He comes across a pair of sunglasses which reveal the world as it REALLY is - the people controlled by the rich, a mass media saturated world where people are driven into consumerism fuelled pacification. Government messages are revealed in stark, bold black and white text on billboards, TV and newspapers - showing the messages of “OBEY” and “CONFORM”. Even more sinister is the revelation that the upper echelons of society are populated by an evil exploitative alien race. The constant Carpenter score is our companion throughout almost all of the film which works wonderfully. Funny in parts, action and fights galore - this is a great Cult Classic Carpenter.

C4 @ 2305 Shutter Island (2012) ****

Shutter Island is a creepy, visually rich psychological thriller with a dark and morbid feel throughout. We follow DiCaprio as troubled U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels - investigating the disappearance of a patient from the islands asylum for the criminally insane. DiCaprio is superb and I can see why Scorsese persists on casting him. Ben Kingsley also stands out as the head of the asylum - the dialogue between the two characters is excellent. We are taken through the almost gothic maze of the island and asylum - its darkness is overwhelming and penetrating, this - combined with the beauty of Scorsese’s direction we are treated to a darkly beautiful ride. There are, as you would expect, a number of twists along the way some more obvious than others but to me that isn’t really the point - It’s the journey through the film and the troubling images that plague our lead that make Shutter Island a must watch film. It inspires a second viewing. The score magnifies the darkness and is superbly put together to make even the seemingly normal of scenes far more tense and suspicious. Shutter Island was eagerly awaited for in 2010 and I was very glad when it finally arrived.

Best of the rest:

C5 @ 1705 Where Eagles Dare (1968) ****

E4 @ 1900 Men in Black 3 (2012) ***

Syfy @ 2100 Pitch Black (2000) ****

Film4 @ 2100 Alien3 (1992) ***

BBC1 @ 2315 Point Break (1991) ****

TCM @ 2340 The Deer Hunter (1978) *****

Sony @ 0110 The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) ****

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!

Film4 @ 2315 Salt (2010) * AVOID!

If Angelina puts a different colour wig on - she still looks like Angelina Jolie. In fact when she put on a disguise I didn’t even notice it happen, but everyone else seemed to think she was bloody invisible. The most unconvincing CIA agent I’ve seen. Who is Salt? Who cares.. Oh hold on.. It’s Angelina Jolie… in a wig. Jolie off. AVOID!

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