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lorephobic · 5 months

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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped

A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence

an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.

thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag

A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn

a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in

alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship

The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]

how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired

may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn

alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay

Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry

a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion

a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such

least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn

if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me

edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!

#saltburn #saltburn posting #really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day #or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points #and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week #idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me #but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them #of course u are welcome to send them my way #i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing #anyway #oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long #and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here #bambi #also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm #i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college #saltburn 101

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stone-stars · 27 days

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a while ago i saw a post by @sideblogdotjpeg about how the cycles in c3 seem a lot more personal/familial. and i kind of went insane in the tags at the time and i’ve been thinking about it a lot since because like…

you have the heroic cycles that the band of boobs parallel/break on this large scale. the idea of these broken trios of adventurers is there throughout the campaign, but they really start to engage with it towards the end— with the divine hearts, and thiala, and the wheel of suffering/wheel of joy idea. the thing hardwon says as he takes the divine heart, that no matter what anybody chooses from then on it’s with love in their hearts, i feel is very relevant to how they break the cycle. they love each other, and they choose over and over to hold each other tighter rather than be driven apart.

and on the other hand, you have duck team’s refusal of fate vs their family’s resignation to it. look at swag working with mothership, oliana’s contrition, and the stuff that is currently ongoing with gowan. you know— sol is a version of swag who fully rejected mothership and found his friends instead. callie refused to be a part of her family’s business, and her love for the wild and the serpents is giving the world a chance. calder, when he makes the deal with ultrus, telling callie and sol that he trusts them to save him. and now calder is refusing to sit back and let gowan handle things in the ice knife.

it's not that duck team aren't trying to save the world. they are. and it's not that the boobs didn't have a personal connection to the cycles they were breaking. they did. but it's like... well... how do i put this into words. right--

the song melora's boon plays when the boobs arrive at the heart of the world and speak to melora. when she talks to beverly about duty, shows him the places he faltered and how at the last second, he gets back up. (later, when they face thiala, bev doesn't go unconscious once. at one point, he's the only one standing.) for sol, this is the song that plays when he expresses his fear of going down again. when he admits to callie that he's scared of the day that she and calder are down and he's the one that needs to stand up alone. when callie says she's not afraid of that day, and sol finds himself empowered by the mushroom in his chest. the moment that sets up sol's long death monk ability, where he's able to refuse to go down and keep on fighting.

melora’s boon is also the song that plays for moonshine’s boon at the heart of the world. there are actually two songs in this scene, hardwon’s is different, and the transition back happens when melora says there’s a part of herself that moonshine hasn’t embraced. when she speaks to moonshine leading her people to a better future like an alpha wolf leading her pack. for callie, it plays when she tells hardwon and sol that she’s a liability and she needs to change— to embrace winter— in order to get calder back, even as they reassure her that she doesn’t. it also plays when callie asks the others to help her protect honeysuckle while he’s weakened. when they promise to lead honeysuckle home and free him from his connections to gromdal.

the writing on the wall plays when the boobs reach the court of gods. there's the wall of prayers there, and they hear the prayers of the people of bahumia, reaching out to them. prayers of protection-- for and by them. prayers that put the future of bahumia in their hands. for callie, this is the song that plays when she sees aryox's carving of her reaching the cave. when she realizes her mother acted the way she did because she could see what was coming in the future. when she realizes her mother was leaving the world in her hands.

the songs that the boobs first encounter at the end— when they’re basically demigods stepping up to face thiala— return for duck team in these personal moments. when sol finds the strength to refuse death. when callie talks about embracing winter, her mother’s season, something she eventually finds strength in, to save her friend. when callie asks the others to help honeysuckle, one of the serpents that she’s promised to protect partially due to the harm her family caused to the wild. and when callie realizes her mother saw the future and acted as she did because of it, pushing callie to walk the path she’s walking now.

anyway. this was a post about naddpod music.

#naddpod #ba2mia #naddmusic tag #sorry to leave calder out his story is too ongoing to fit yet #(and we haven’t had any songs that fit in his arc either)#if we get a late stage bahumia song during this arc #for calder and gowan im gonna fucking. die.#truly just going insane over here anyway #like obviously on a meta level the reason the songs were never used for the bob #before the endgame is bc they weren’t written yet #but like. when you start to think about it #it kind of fits that it happens like this #there’s also more examples like i just want to know you’re taken care of #which is used in c1e91 for moonshine and paw paw’s convo #being used for callie and foster in ep10 #of c3 #specifically in the context of callie’s love and her fear of loving big #(contrasted against moonshine resigning herself to hell and her fear of that future)#anyway if i keep talking abt this i’ll explode so #enjoy? i guess?#hanbles

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writer-room · 17 days

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I've decided the only reason Lloyd, known descendant of dragons, didn't tell this to Egalt, who refuses to train non-dragons, is for the same reason he never mentioned he's the First Spinjitsu Master's grandson. It just never came up. Nobody asked him directly about it. And besides, he's only like, one-fourth dragon, so does it really count? He doesn't look like a dragon, and he has never in his life considered himself a dragon. Mentioning his ancestry to Egalt probably would've just made him look like some hotshot, or make him more annoyed. There's no need to bring up such a silly little fact. He's sure it won't be important later.

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #lego ninjago #dragons rising #lloyd garmadon #first spinjitsu master #egalt #text post #talk #dragon lloyd garmadon #the real likelihood is that the writers just quietly brushed that little fact aside (im so sad abt it)#but i think its infinietly funnier that lloyd went down the spinjitsu master route #it just never came up. no one asked. and hes not a COMPLETE dragon so like. why bother telling egalt #the whole time i was waiting for egalt & rontu to b like 'WHO in their SPINJITSUDAMED MIND trained you'#and theyre just like 'oh this guy named sensei wu hes lloyds uncle hes like a master' & egalt is like 'sounds like bs'#then arin as a huge nerd pipes up like 'AND HES THE FSM'S GRANDSON :D'#to which rontu and egalt break their necks whirling around like 'THIS SCRAWNY LITTLE PUNK IS W H A T'#egalt straight up refuses to believe it. rontu is very quickly doing the math & freaking out abt it #wherever these guys are from it might not even be ninjago so like they might not even know the fsm had sons #rontu: im sorry. so youre the grandson. you are aware your grandfather was half dragon half oni. right?#egalt in the background 'THAT BOY IS N O T A DRAOGN I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT'#lloyd blinking owlishly like 'oh yeah i guess so. im only like 1/4th tho'#'BOY YOU ARE 1/4 OF ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL DRAGONS IN FCKING EXISTANCE'#'YOU ARE THE GRANDSON OF MY GREAT-GREAT GRANDMASTER'#the midlife crisis these dragons would have. the crisis the kids would have realizing this #lloyd now cannot go 3 minutes without someone asking 'is there any world-shattering fun facts abt yrself you wanna share'#the fun part is that lloyd forgets all of those informations bc its like. a normal day for him #no one tell wyldfyre she'll flip

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sharmoota-job · 7 months

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michael de santa is the most attractive fictional character ive ever seen in my whole life. hes so handsome. i would DIE for him

#im not joking hes. so. hhhhh4tfreghurghueghrvuirhiu #hes so pretty #i love him sm #i just had to talk about him im sorry #when im sad i look at him and i smile every timw without fail hes so perfect........#everything abt him is perfect. his hair his looks his voice. his EVERYTHING. i keep replaying gta v just to see Him. i love him #michael de santa #michael townley #gta v #grand theft auto #grand theft auto v #grand theft auto 5 #gta #gta 5

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yellowheartz · 6 days

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Not hating on Kuboyasu Aren, like don't get me wrong, that's gang and I love him.

But I think that if he did achieve his dream of being able to marry a lady and have a family, there would be a lot of loopholes in his relationships.

Like, yes, he's a very respectful dude and he'd probs treat the woman like the only girl in the world but let's say they had a fight, right?

Dude wouldn't know the first thing to do, 50 outta 50, he'll apologize because "that's what a man should do" but what if he felt wronged as well? Either way, whether he apologizes or not, there would be a little toxicity at least, surrounding his relationship with his lady, like please do yall get me? 😭

Istg, I'm not hating, he's literally my fave character, but if he really ended up with a normal girl and lived a normal life, there'd surely be problems, most likely if he had a daughter.

#guys PLEASE do NOT get me wrong i am not hating #i love to discuss complex characters and their rights even with their wrongs #like the fluff and angst is good ok but i want some realisticness that i read about in oatmealcrisp fics ok #sorry for being insane abt my faves 🤞🤞#also babe #i am not shitting when i say my dad KINS aren so much bro #had the same background and shit #well not the gang parts but yea lots of violence even at home #oh no my daddy issues 😱#im not projecting prommy 🫶💞#(half joking)#yellow talks #saiki k #aren kuboyasu #kuboyasu aren #guys pls hes a dude and i love him hes my blorbo

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twinkdemise · 3 months

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early season macdennis fighting was insane like what the fuck was "i do good, i do good!!" "you've never done Any good for Anybody EVER."

#iasip #macdennis #they had this almost exact argument multiple times too #mac is crazy bc imagine being like You are the worst person ever. i want you.#thats just devotion atp idk #thinking abt that one macden with the textpost that was like Yeah hes evil but What if i was his favorite #im being really delusional abt them today sorry. but yeah #thats so them #also mac listened to countless women talk about how awful dennis was to them for Years and still was like yes this is the man i want. him.#theres a lot of stuff wrong with both of them #ohhh also the alley scene at the end of hundred dollar baby..... YOU GIVE US A SECOND. were you planning on telling me eventually.....?#i miss them

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jils-things · 4 days

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by the lighthouse.

dividers

#alright i suppose i should tell what's up lately! im mostly posting this like a mini update or whatever haha #so - since i made that last post on my disappearance i worked endlessly to finish my animation project and thank goodness it's finally over #i had to take a break from trying to be social here and just stay in my own space and i did that by having a smaller side blog to ramble #the project was very... tiring - definitely took out so much energy from me post physically and mentally and i was just frustrated everyday #so i just took my time to be alone with a few close people and i like to think im okay now?#i like to think so - since i was able to deliver a few commission drafts today so i'm relieved that im back to my usual pace #I'll post a few of my doodles here i did during my project just to fill the void haha #i've acquired a minor familial from another video game and i care for him a lot :] idk ill bother to talk abt it here but yeah thats funnn #also indulging a lil bit of t.n.m.n content as of late also thanks to my friend who knows abt it hehe #soo yeah! I don't know if ill be active like the usual but know that i'm doing alright now! hope everyone's doing okay too xoxo #ill probably still stay in my smaller blog for a little longer but will occasionally pop in here!#sooo yaaa #~ art #♥️ memoryshipping #also yea i think no.rton only had like. 10 days worth of being the blog brand here until i switched back to the usual guy lmaooo sorry 😔

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oceanwithouthermoon · 5 days

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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions #ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person #if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully #that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is #not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion #yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something #like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad #honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner #and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion #and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf #its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333 #ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions #ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol #being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless #but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy #and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize #ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people #so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3 #i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE #watch nobody read this fr #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post

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puppyeared · 7 months

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ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months

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What is this love triangle 😵‍💫😵‍💫

#one day i will make like a horrible compilation of all the various Fernando x ron dennis articles me and min(renaulonso) found #bcs theyre actually sickening. SICKENINGLY FUNNY!!!!#they make me fucking screech with laughter #its been months since we discussed it and went on a deep dive #but whenever i go back at look at those article titles and snippets #i am actually in tears of laugher bcs theyre so unwell #the title of the article this snippet is from btw is:#'Seven years after their acrimonious split love is in the air again for Ron Dennis and Fernando Alonso +'#'+ as the driver’s need meets McLaren’s desperation #LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY ARE THESE THE WORDS YOU CHOSE!?!?!?!?#there was also another article decribing their 'wedding' as jenson button watched on as the best man #like what the fuck made them write these #but yeah sorry suddenly needed to post this after that flavio quote from the doc #bcs im like wow...he lowkey sounded jealous as fuck talking abt ron dennis and fernando #as i said. describing it like a marriage and mentioning that they had to divorce at the end of 2007 #and saying that ron wasnt strict enough w the implication that he WAS #flavio briatore #ron dennis #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1

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junixxoxo · 7 months

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drdttober day ten - tea party/food

#IM SO SORRY I DDINT EVEN TRY EUGH #I HAD SUCH HIGH HOPES FOR THIS ONE AND INSTEAD I GET A FEVER #drdt #danganronpa despair time #drdttober2023 #drdttober 2023 #drdttober #whit young #charwhit #i am going to. die #LITERALLY. IM SICK #even when i was first talking abt the challenge in art class my friend specifically looked over and was like!!!#oh! that’s cool!! the tea party one sounds fun! and i was like YEA #AND THEN. I DIE OR SM AUGH #i’ll regain motivation somehow i am so sorry about these lower quality works

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pinayelf · 20 days

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I know fans joke abt how the warden is more competent than the inquisitor bc they did all that w/o much help but the funny thing abt amihan is she actually isn't

she was 20, angry and hated herself and the world, she ended up in the situation she was in bc she was...a petty snitch. she also hates being a grey warden and continues to hate being one through dai - she actually leaves but then decides to search for the cure

for most of the Blight, it was fuck up after fuck up. like I play it so that I have enough ppl to help me fight the archdemon, but in my personal headcanon, she pissed off a lot of potential help (whether it be Circle mages who overheard her saying she was "gonna annul this shit" out of anger, eamon's men who did NOT like her, bhelen who didn't really trust the fact that she knew nothing about politics), left a bad taste in people they came across and picked a fight with anora

which I think makes sense for a 20 year old ill-adjusted young woman who had to learn how to be more selfless. beating the archdemon was pure luck mixed with people just NOT WANTING the Blight to destroy ferelden and realizing joining the fight was the only way to stay alive

amihan does grow, but it's slow, she has to process trauma, understand she hurt people and ruined their lives and to actually experience what it's like being loved (both platonic and romantic)

I tend to not post so much abt how much amihan fucked up and almost let a Blight swallow ferelden bc I tend to feel anxious abt how ppl will receive it but I think it's important to her character and it's fun and interesting for me to play with it in this case

immy is 100% more competent than amihan, in spite of her own flaws, but I love both my messy and my scaredy cat girl all the same

#amihan amell #my first pt of dao was a mess tbh lmao and i messed up so much and amihan's canon is pretty similar #after i fucked up and left amalia possessed ive been thinking abt playing the rest of the game where i'll pick what amihan would actually do #regardless of whether or not thatll end up being a good thing in the long run lmao so watch this space #i also wanna talk abt her friendships w morrigan and zev #god i love morrigan to death but lmaoo i know them being so close they just enabled each other's bad habits #which i think why it was good that morrigan and amihan drifted after dao bc they needed to grow apart #its v important to me that they meet again #zev is extremely important to amihan learning how to be selfless #im sorry to zev tht he had to deal w amihan's bs during a blight 😭😭😭#also there are companions and other characters that just straight up hate amihan and lol 😭#anyway just rambling bc i love an incredibly flawed female character and thts what i wanna portray w amihan

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paulawithsharks · 11 months

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"They turned me into a monster, Arthur. But my memories of him, they still pure"

#sadie adler #red dead redemption 2 #rdr #rdr2 #red dead redemption fanart #red dead redemption fandom #rdr2 artwork #fanart #artists on tumblr #my art #mrs sadie adler ily <3 #its 1:14am of the day this is scheduled to b posted. here to let you know i realized like 20 mins ago that she had two right feet literally #i was about to post this with her having two right feet :( im sorry mrs adler. but rest assured i fixed it in time <3 ily #also tumblr user hillbillyhipster84 i love you and i want to talk to you about karen and paca so bad bc YES i have written things abt them #but bc this is a sideblog and i can't respond to comments directly from this same sideblog i can't reply but pls feel free to dm me or #send in an ask i love you <3 sending you kisses and smooches

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enhanced-operatives-division · 27 days

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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

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