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ughgoaway · 9 months

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the birthday party

content warnings: alludes to sex at one point, drinking, gross romantic stuff and uhhh I think that's it? word count- 2.7k ish

a/n: 2 fics in less than a week??? who am I?? anyway, I was actually lying earlier in the week and somehow managed to finish this just in time for my birthday!! sadly, this is not how I'm spending my day but I am gonna delude myself that it is!!! Unsurprisingly, I am not a fan of this fic and wrote like 2k in a night so please tell me if it's really bad... okay here it is, love youuuuu-

You slam the door of your car and let out a sigh from deep within your chest. The day's weight feels heavy as you walk up to your silent house. The party your work had thrown you for your birthday ended up being less of a celebration and more of a hell hole you couldn't escape.

Sandra, your work “best friend” (a title she had given herself), had insisted on throwing you a party after finding out your birthday was at the end of the week. You insisted it was a small party and begged her for nothing big. And it began that way, just meeting in the conference room after work with a cake from Tesco, no dressing up, no gifts, just a small gathering.

As the week developed, your small get-together began to change and grow into something entirely new. Each email that came in had something added to the invite. Somehow, by the end of the week, it had changed to a semi-formal party, presents “optional” (necessary) with decorations and a personalised cake.

Today had been bad enough before the party, endless incompetent people seemed to find their way to you. You'd been hit on by 2 men old enough to be your father, screamed at by a 40-year-old woman for being “a stupid bitch” and dealt with 4 more insane people.

The party was just as bad as you expected. The only thing keeping you together was the compliments on your outfit. Matty had helped you pick out the dress you were wearing the night before, insisting on helping you feel just a little bit better about the party. It was nothing much, a simple forest green cowl neck. A small slit went up the side of your leg that hit mid-thigh, you were sure it was too much for a work party but after Matty's never-ending spiel of compliments, you decided to wear it anyway.

You sat through the 2 speeches from your boss and your apparent new best friend before you managed to slip away. Yes, somehow you managed to sneak out of a party that was supposedly for you, but you weren't going to take that personally. You saw the opportunity and ran.

The strappy heels that were once on your feet sat in your hands as you walked up the path to your front door. There were no lights on, which was unusual for this time. You thought Matty would be home and waiting with open arms, but he was nowhere to be seen, his car not even in the driveway.

You tried to mask your disappointment at your boyfriend not being home for your birthday, You're sure he just got caught up in the studio with George. A new idea probably came to him suddenly that he needed to get done then and there. You almost cursed his brain, but you could never curse the thing you loved so much.

The way you existed in his mind astonished you. Song after song was written about you, each one more beautiful than the last and each one changed how you perceived yourself. You used to insist the person who he sang about wasn't real, that she couldn't be. But demo after demo was played to you with Matty insisting you are real, and you are exactly how he sings about you.

You were this unimaginable force that changed his life in a way he only thought was possible in shitty teen movies. He was enamoured by you, every waking thought was about you, and if he was honest, even his non-waking thoughts were about you. He felt higher than heaven when he was with you, not that he would ever tell you that as he's sure you would cringe and scrunch your nose up at his cheesy behaviour.

The key clicked in the lock, and your door screeched open. Your cat came running at you and began rubbing on your legs. “Hi baby,” you began, turning the entryway light on and sighing once again, “I've got to grease those door hinges, don't I nutmeg?” Your cat had been adopted long before Matty came into your life. Well, adopted was a strong word. You found him hidden under the bins outside your old flat, once a skinny kitten, but he was now a slightly too chunky house cat who loved you more than life itself. Matty always joked that his only real competition for the thing that loved you most in the world was nutmeg, but he insisted he beat him every time.

you drop your heels on the floor and shut the door behind you, wincing at the squeak it lets out. Only to jump where you stood at the sight in front of you.

“Surprise!” rang out from the lounge room, your friends and family all stood with hats and smiles as they stared at you.

Tears streamed down your face as you laughed at the sight in front of you, streamers hung from the beams and balloons coming from every where.

You briefly look around at the people in front of you before your eyes are drawn directly to him, just as they always were.

Matty came strolling up and pulled you in for a brief kiss before escorting you into the sea of people that faced you.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After 40 minutes of pure joy and mingling, you managed to pull away to get a drink. You enter the kitchen and grab a cup off the side before moving further in to find whatever alcohol you could.

You eventually settle on a Jack and Coke, You spy them on the other side of the kitchen and walk over to make your drink. More Jack than Coke if you are honest.

You take a sip and sigh as the drink slides down your throat, the glass clinks as you place it back down on the counter to take a breath.

Quickly, a pair of hands slide over your hips and settle on your stomach, You know exactly who it is by the scent of his cologne and the feeling of his warmth.

Matty pulls you into his body, your back against his chest. He begins pressing small kisses up the side of your neck and smiles as he hears your poorly suppressed giggles slipping out.

"So what do you think beautiful?" he asked, whispering into your ear before pressing yet another kiss behind it.

You slide around in his arms, his hands cheekily slipping down to grip your ass before sliding up to rest on your waist again. You shoot him a faux disapproving look but soon break out into a large smile at the pure adoration on your boyfriend's face.

"I think it's amazing. Thank you so much, baby," you say, kissing Matty. But you quickly pull away, much to the distaste of your boyfriend who lets out an upset grumble. "It explains all your suspicious behaviour over the last few weeks…" you say teasingly, raising your eyebrows and smiling at the man in front of you before leaning in for another kiss.

This time, however, it was Matty rejecting your advances as he pulled away and looked down at you teasingly.

"Oh, I've been suspicious, have I?" he said, leaning further back of your grip, causing the pair of you to begin walking back together until the kitchen counter stopped you, and you pressed into Matty.

"Please do tell love, how was I being suspicious, huh?" he said with a mocking lilt to his voice, leaning in and teasing your lips with his own. His breath tickled your lips, and he kept evading your moves.

“Well…” you begin smiling gleefully at your boyfriend, nervous to explain how he's been suspicious, worrying hell realise just how much time you spend lovingly watching him. Some would say creepily, you're sure, but you say lovingly.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You begin with the first thing you noticed, Matty's phone was suddenly attached to him. Usually, he had no idea where his phone was at any given time, believing everyone should be more present and leave their phones at home.

If anyone asked him about it, he would then begin to go on a long rant about the internet and his qualms with it. It was at that point you interrupted and just told whoever he was talking to to listen to “a brief inquiry” and “notes” if they wanted his thoughts on that subject.

But recently you'd noticed he hadn't been asking you 100 times a day “Babe, have you seen my phone?” like he usually did when he left it somewhere in your concrete mansion of a home. Every text and call was immediately answered, and some calls were even taken in the other room. You wrote it off as secret dirty hit business, trying not to delude yourself into thinking something more.

But it was last Sunday when you became sceptical of your boyfriend's new attachment to his phone.

The sun was streaming through the windows to the courtyard, decorating the house in golden hues that danced over the walls. You and Matty had woken up starving (probably due to the events of the night before) and decided to make breakfast.

So you did, like a couple in a rom-com. Matty's hair was messy, and his pyjama trousers sat low on his hips. He had forgone a shirt this morning as it had been stolen by you. You danced around him in one of his many Jeff Buckley shirts with nothing but panties underneath.

You swung around in each other's arms and stared into the other's eyes like lovesick teenagers. You put a hand up and began twisting the curls surrounding Matty's face. The other hand slid behind his neck and began to massage the curls back there. A content hum slipped out your boyfriend's mouth, and his eyes fluttered close at the feeling.

You stared in awe at the man in front of you, almost feeling sick to your stomach with affection. You traced each freckle on his face, mentally keeping count before getting distracted by his flittering eyelashes. You marvel at their length and briefly wonder why men always get such long eyelashes.

Before that thought overtakes your mind, you get distracted by another feature on your beautiful boyfriend's face, the light blush that decorates his cheeks. You stroke over the apples of his cheeks and resist the urge to pinch them like a grandmother.

The same pink that flushed his cheeks sat on his plump lips that were begging to be kissed, so you did. You pecked his lips over and over before moving to his cheeks, then his forehead and soon over his whole face.

His laughter soon broke the pair of you up and in a smitten daze Matty suggested a shower, you nodded and told him to go get it started while you put the dishes away. He happily ran up the stairs to start the shower and you giggled at your boyfriend's teenage excitement.

His phone buzzed on the concrete counter and you fought the internal battle of whether to look, your rational side saying not too soon lost out to intense curiosity.

A message from his mum sat on the screen simply saying, “Oh love, that's perfect. y/n will adore it.”

“Huh… so maybe not dirty hit business” you spoke out quietly to yourself, You soon put the phone down and ran up to the shower where your boyfriend was waiting ready to undress you.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay, so maybe I was on my phone a bit more than usual but that can't be it! Surely that alone can't be suspicious” Matty said looking down at you with a grin on his face.

“Well no… There was that message from your mum too!” You say before whispering something under your breath, “and that other thing...”

“Other thing?” Matty said, leaning back to examine your face, narrowing his eyes at your expression.

You stay silent at bite your lip at him, shaking your head at his questioning glare.

“No, no. Come on baby, what else made you realise something was up hmm” Matty said. You kept on moving your head from side to side, avoiding his gaze, knowing you'd crumble as soon as you looked at him.

Finally, he gripped your head between his hands and pressed kisses over your face, hoping it would get you to break.

It did.

“Fine! Fine!” You relent at your boyfriend's onslaught of pecks, “There was the sock drawer thing...” you say quietly, looking up at Matty, who wore a puzzled expression.

“Sock drawer thing?” he asked confusedly, “I'm gonna need more than that babe” he said, a smile clear in his voice.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the Wednesday of the week of your birthday, Matty's phone had still been attached at the hip to him but you gave up questioning it, thinking he was just feeling more social lately.

You sat up at the head of your bed, your pillows behind your back and the duvet crumpled over your legs as you read your book. The shower was running in your ensuite, Matty needed one before a meeting at the office.

Soon the shower stopped and after a groan, a voice rang out behind the door. “Babe!” Matty began, “I forgot to get pants and a pair of socks, can you grab me some?”

You smiled at your boyfriend's forgetfulness, knowing he wasn't exactly a morning person, “Of course my love” you reply softly sliding the duvet off your legs and padding across the room to his drawer.

Your hand had barely grabbed the handle before he came rushing out and shouting, “WAIT! NO, NO NO” he stared at you with wild eyes. You shot back and lifted your hands in mock surrender to your boyfriend.

You took in his look, his shirt was half-buttoned but around his waist was just his towel. His curls were sopping wet and dripping on the floor, he was panting and staring at you with unnaturally wide eyes.

“Sorry babe... Uhh..” he struggled to finish his sentence, looking around the room as if to find an excuse for his erratic behaviour.

“Just… didn't want you to get out of bed s’all” he said pausing briefly, a nervous smile broke out across his face, “You looked so cosy reading so just… go get settled again”

You looked suspiciously at your boyfriend before nodding and walking back to bed silently. The rest of the day went as expected, Matty kissed you goodbye before his meeting and you went to work where you were bombarded with questions from Sandra about your “big day”.

But you didn't forget his wild eyes and odd behaviour.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh yeah!” Matty said, laughing at himself, “All the decorations were stashed in there so I couldn't have you snooping around” he explained causally. “But that was very odd of me. Were you expecting a party” he asked with a tilt of his head.

He watched your cheeks heat up as you stammered to explain what you expected, not wanting to make him feel pressured.

Eventually, you just spat it out, “Well… I kind of thought you might be proposing to me,” you say cautiously. You watch your boyfriend's eyes widen, and your hand shoots up to his chest to soothe him.

“Don't freak out, okay!!” You beg him, “It was just the combination of a few things that made me think that. But PLEASE do not feel pressured. We will get married when we do. There is no rush from me, I promise”

You wait with bated breath at his reaction, hoping it wouldn't be running and screaming. Soon, he broke out in wild laughter, much to your relief.

Once his laughter died down, he pulled you in closer and squeezed you lightly, “Not yet sweetheart, but I will eventually, don't you worry.” You smiled at his words and let yourself melt into his embrace.

Little did you know, upstairs in that sock drawer was a ring, no decorations having been stashed there. Just a little velvet box and a written speech prepared for next week, your 6th anniversary.

#matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x reader #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #cute little bday fic!!!!#okay why do i hate this so much UGH #im posting it anyway but be warned... it may be deleted...#but matty you can definitely propose to me whenever bff <3

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watery-melon-baller · 1 year

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fun fact im an ao3 god. i can navigate shit so easy. have a fic you read a few years ago but dont remember much except for like the basic plot? im your fucking GAL.

#this claim is full of hubris but if theres a fic ur hunting for i can probably find it #ESPECIALLY if its a toh fic cause like. listen #shaming myself rn but #from the day hunting palismen droppped to like. a few months ago i was CONSTANTLY refreshing the toh fandom tag on ao3 #constantly hunting for new fics #it was insnaely deranged behavior im aware but like #if theres a toh fic you're hunting fir there is a good chance i have seen it and possibly read it #anyways offering my services for Free and Now #fair warning if its llike suoer broad like. oh it was an angst fic with this character i may not be much of use #gotta give me them deets #lilac post #ao3 #fanfic #and if it's deleted?? More difficult but I can Try My Best

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spdrwdw · 3 months

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hi! I saw ur post abt accidentally deleting reqs and was scared since mine wasn’t answered yet (im not complaining bc ur other work is so so delicious to read 😍) anyways here it is. Ok imagine Miguel ohara being the heir to the mafia ‘throne(?)’ ima be so fr idk what they call it 💀 anyways and he’s in an arranged marriage w/ a girl from a diff mafia family as a way to make peace between the two families, except neither he or the girl are happy abt it. Enemies to lovers would just be majestic for the plot in my opinion 🤭. Anywaysssss thank u sm and remember to drink water 🫶🏻

Art by: Kimmy_art0912 Pairing: Mob Boss Miguel x Wife reader Warnings: Mentions of blood, very mild violence, no use of y/n Summary: You and Miguel come from different mafia families, forced to be married in order to form an alliance as threat from an outside. However, you and Miguel can only tolerate each other, at best. A/N: I swear I scratched and rewrote this like five different times.I am sorry it took so long. I am slowly making my way back into writing. I do thank anon and everyone else for their patience as I slowly make my way back to life and I will be writing more Miguel fics soon. I may do a part two to this, depending on interest recieved. I have been getting into mafia books so I am going to be looking into those for inspo if I do make more parts to this. Also, very very light editing was done. Word Count: 4.6k

Your family and the O’Hara’s have been enemies since your ancestors set foot into this country. Both immigrating from nothing but the clothes on their backs and pennies to their name.

Your family started working in the food industry. Working in restaurants, bakeries, etc. Anything that had to do with food. Seven days a week. Working from twelve to fourteen hour shifts just to make ends meet. Your great great grandfather worked at the local deli as well as a restaurant. When he wasn’t cutting up meat, he was in the kitchen making food. Your great great grandmother worked at the neighborhood bakery as well as the tailors. Her dream was to make clothes- dresses. She wanted to be a fashion designer. She started taking classes at the local college once they saved up enough money to invest in her studies.

Eventually, with their hard work and sacrifices, their dreams came true. Your family soon owned several restaurants as well as luxury boutiques. Everyone did their part in keeping the family businesses growing and going.

At first, it was all simply honest work. Your family stayed humble and grateful for their dedication. Then, with your great grandfather, things took a slight turn. He wanted to expand and turn into construction. Nueva York continued to go and grow, with more people coming to try to make a living and a name for themselves. And in that mix, people with bad intentions also tagged along. The family businesses were in jeopardy of being taken over or shut down completely by these power-hungry thugs. He did not want that. So, he and the rest of the family banded together and began hiring people who would be willing to work for them and protect them, whether they were military vets, criminals, or even cops. Anyone who was willing to protect the family.

Allyship with other mafia families also aided in the growth and protection. However, there was one family that yours always butted heads with.

The O’Haras. They immigrated from Ireland around the same time your great great grandparents did. They built their own businesses, casinos, hotels, and clubs- and wanted their own power and a spot with the elites of the criminal world.

At first, things were neutral between the two families. At one point, the two families were almost allies. However, one night, there was commotion going on at one of the O’Hara nightclubs. Members of your family got into a tussle with the O’Hara group and ended up being a blood bath, with both sides losing men.

Ever since then, things were tense, and the bloodshed continued to grow as oppositions rose.

No one really knew what it was that started the feud that night. Some suspected it had been over a woman. Others thought it was simply because some members were drunk and careless words were exchanged.

Either way, the rivalry continued on. Until a new threat entered the city. And there was no choice but to come together.

—

It’s been six months since you moved into his house. Six months since you lost your freedom. Six months since you got married. To Miguel O’Hara.

It all happened in an instant. First, you were out abroad, having recently gotten your first major job as a fashion designer in a luxury clothing company, wanting to be as successful as your great great grandmother, and now you were out on a little vacation to celebrate, when you received a call from your father, ordering you to come back home.

You should’ve relished that Mediterranean breeze as long as you could, because once you got on that flight back home, your world was about to be flipped on its head.

“I’m sorry…WHAT?!” You screeched at your father, you only looked at you with his calm, cool, distant, expression as he inhaled into his cigar.

“You’re getting married to Miguel O’Hara,” he repeated.

“I heard what you said! But, why?!”

“The O’Haras had agreed to a truce. Kingpin is gaining on both of our families. We are losing men and traction left and right. We agreed by aligning our families together, we will gain strength in numbers and influence.”

“And you are shipping me off into an arranged marriage! This isn’t the medieval age or whatever!

Plus, with Miguel?! At least have me marry Gabriel. He’s not an asshole like his brother.”

“Miguel is to become head of the O’Hara family as he is the first born. Plus, his determination has been promising.”

You let out a groan. You could not believe this was happening. You never wanted to get sucked into this life. That’s why you went off to college. To try to get away and make a life of your own. Your efforts were proven to be futile as you felt the rug be pulled from under you and you were being dragged along with it to the same life you were trying to escape.

Your father’s eyes softened. A hint of sorrow filled them.

“I know, sweetheart. This isn’t what I was hoping for you, either. But, it is the only way. We are running out of options. I am sure Miguel will take care of you, and you will be able to fulfill your dream of following your great great grandmother’s footsteps. I am sure she would be proud to have someone actively expanding her fashion legacy..”

You still shook your head. It was just too much for you to take in. Plus, wasn’t Miguel in a relationship with someone? Xina? No..they broke up months ago. That’s right. But, wait..he was seeing someone else? Ugh. The guy has a new girlfriend every other day.

Besides, you two did have a thing going on in the past. It wasn’t serious. Mainly the occasional hookups. You two were of rivaling families, after all. You both did have your reasons for disliking each other. So, the sex was pretty much hate sex? If that made sense. It wasn’t out of passion. Unless you could call hatred a passion.

Never did you think you’d actually be getting married to him.

After the news broke out that you and Miguel were to be wedded, everything went by in such a blur. Preparations for the wedding. The actual wedding. The honeymoon- which was hardly a honeymoon because neither of you actually spent any time together. It was just too awkward, and you knew that he wasn’t happy with this arrangement as much as you were.

When you first moved into his house, you wanted to sleep in a separate room from him, and he agreed. However, when both of your parents found out about this, they were all livid.

“How will you two get to know each other more and become intimate with each other if you are sleeping in separate beds?” Your mom cried one day when she came to visit you. You assured her there would be other situations where you and your husband would bond. Public situations where you’d be surrounded by other people and talking to those people rather than each other.

You two simply avoided each other as much as possible. And during the times when you two were together, your company was either met with silence or bickering. And sometimes even being at each other’s throats.

He would call you names like ‘immature’ ‘wild’ ‘rowdy’ and so on, simply because you refused to listen to him whenever he demanded something from you.

You’d retaliate and tell him that he was controlling and a perfectionist. Because well, he was. He had to have things done a certain way or it would ensue chaos. And while he was right about you being a little more rowdy and wild, it was simply because you had the luxury of growing somewhat more normal. Your parents did not drill the life of the mafia into your head the same way it was drilled into Miguel’s. Which is why you both clashed when trying to communicate with each other.

Right now, you were at home in the library. You spend a lot of time there, and while Miguel’s taste in reading wasn’t usually to your taste, you’d sometimes find yourself reading some of the novels that he was currently reading, as well as reading some that you’ve been purchasing and adding to the collection.

Which reminded you, you had to head over to the mall and purchase the next book of a spicy romance series you’d been reading. As well as look for an outfit to wear at the next charity event you and Miguel would be attending.

One of the few things you liked about Miguel was that he was very generous and active in the community, helping those less fortunate.

Placing the book down, you rubbed your bag and keys and decided to head out for a bit. Saying goodbye to the house staff as you walked past them, you made your way to the garage, which housed Miguel’s collection of cars, ranging from vintage to sporty and modern to big black suvs that you’d use whenever a bodyguard was transporting you somewhere, like parties. You never understood why someone needed so many cars but, whatever, as long as it wasn’t your money being spent.

You made your way over to your car, glad that you were able to bring it with you when you got married. It was your baby. One of the few things you were able to bring with you.

Glancing over at the clock on the dashboard, you bit your bottom lip. You should have enough time to purchase some books before heading off to your parents for a bit. You did promise them you would show up. They were planning lunch for you. It was your birthday today, after all.

—

Miguel stood in front of the battered man that kneeled before him, hearing the groaning of pain coming from their mouth as blood pooled around the cement floor.

Miguel’s knuckles were bleeding. But, it wasn’t his own blood, but the blood of the poor bastard that withered before him. Miguel didn’t like to use violence. He thought it was a primitive way of negotiating with his enemies. However, there were times when a little violence was necessary to get his point across. And to send a message.

Why was this man being battered like a sack of potatoes?

The man spat blood, a tooth or two flying out with the glob of blood as he remained strapped to his chair. His face was covered in blood. Beat up and mangled by the hands of the tall, brooding man before him.

Miguel slowly knelt down before the man, taking a fistful of his hair, forcing him to look up into his almost amber eyes.

“ Eres un demonio! (You're a demon). Not even the devil himself will want you!” the man spat, a glob of blood landing on Miguel’s cheek.

Miguel let out a hum of disinterest. His eyes lacked any life in them. However, this was when he felt the most alive, seeing his enemies cowering and crumbling before him.

He took out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and cleaned the blood from his cheek before tossing the now soiled material at the man’s feet.

“I take that as a compliment, you know. Maybe I want the devil himself to fear me.”

Miguel took out a cigar from his coat pocket and lit it before giving it a deep inhale and exhaled a heavy cloud of smoke at the man’s face. He couldn't believe that one of Kingpin's goons had infiltrated his circle and posed himself as someone who could've been trusted. Miguel was definitely going to send that fat son of a bitch a message, by killing this guy and sending his corpse back to Kingpin's front door.

Not only that, but it also meant that they were going to have to redo background checks on everyone working for the O’Haras. That was going to be a pain in the ass.

"Gabriel! Hand me my gun," Miguel called out to his brother.

Gabriel, Peter, and Ben were all standing several feet behind Miguel, all watching as their boss beat and battered the man before them.

Gabriel was Miguel’s right hand now that their father had stepped down as head of the O’Hara family. Many thought Gabriel was going to take charge, however, Miguel was much more brutal and cut-throat than Gabriel. It made sense for Miguel to take up the mantle, despite him being an illegitimate son.

Plus, Gabriel preferred being on the sidelines instead of making the decisions.

Gabriel made his way over to his older brother, handing him the gun before stepping back to his original spot.

“Now. We can do this the easy way. Where I ask you a couple of questions and answer them. Or, we can do this the hard way, when I ask you said questions and if you refuse to answer them, I get to shoot you anywhere I want.”

”I would rather you just shoot me! I will never answer to you!” The man croaked.

“You never got shot before, have you?” Miguel hummed as he removed the safety from the gun and cocked it before pulling the trigger, shooting the man on the foot.

The man let out a screeching howl as he thrashed on the chair, letting out a series of curses.

Miguel simply nodded his head. “That’s what I thought. So..shall we begin?”

The whole ordeal took only a matter of minutes, as Miguel wasted no time in trying to get his questions answered. The man was not sitting lifeless on the chair as bullet holes decorated his body.

Kingpin had sent a lower ranked grunt to spy on them, trying to scope up any valuable information to report back to his true boss. Unfortunately for Kingpin, those in the lower ranks didn’t really get to be part of the action and behind-closed door discussions, so, this man’s life was unnecessarily wasted.

“Send his body back to Kingpin. Just leave him on his doorstep,” Miguel said as he examined his suit, letting out a grunt when he saw small splatters of blood. He was going to have to go home and change. “Will do. You should start heading back home. I am sure you wife is waiting for you,” Gabriel said as Peter and Ben began placing the body into a black body bag and carried him out to the waiting pick-up truck.

Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t hate you, but he knew that you hated him. And you had every right. You got married to him out of force, and while that wasn’t necessarily his fault, he didn’t blame you for holding a grudge on him.

“Keep me posted on any activity. I need updated background checks on everyone working for us. We can’t let anyone else slip through the cracks,” Miguel stated as he made his way over to his car, with his brother following behind him. Gabriel nodded his head as he watched his brother leave.

He had to make sure no on in his inner circle was actually working for Kingpin. Is someone indeed was, might as well just shut everything down then and there.

No. Miguel wouldn’t give up just like that. He would just have to work harder and steer Kingpin off track.

But, for the time being, his main goal was to get back home and get to his wife. It was your birthday, after all.

–

You spent the majority of the day with your parents. You had gone over to your former home- which you still miss deeply. It was such a stark contrast from where you lived now. There was just so much character, so much history in this house. It was the same house your great great grandfather had bought as a gift to his lovely wife, your great great grandmother, once their businesses were booming.

It had twelve bedrooms and sixteen bathrooms. A library where your mother would take you to read. When you were young, you’d pick out a book for your mother to read to you in bed. Mainly a fairy tale story.

You always thought your life would be a fairy tale. You always imagined yourself as the princess or heroine, going on adventures and falling in love. However, the universe was not like those in the stories. Maybe in an alternate universe. But, not in this one.

Instead, you were forced to marry the enemy in hopes of forming an alliance. Which, depending on how you looked at it, could’ve been seen as a fairytale. It didn’t feel like it. You weren’t in love with Miguel. You tolerated each other at best. Plus, you guys had shared history which made things pretty awkward at times.

—-

You were back home, waiting for your darling husband to come home and wish you a Happy Birthday. He also supposedly promised to take you out to dinner. It was really an attempt for you two to get somewhat closer together. But, you weren’t sure how well that would play out. You both liked to push each other’s buttons. You were sure it would occur tonight. And honestly, you wouldn’t want to have it any other way. You wanted to be a thorn on his side. He was always so full of himself. Always thought himself to be this bigshot. Untouchable. Unweavered. You loved proving him wrong.

You continued to wait and wait. The house staff had left for the night, including Miss Cheryl, your personally favorite housekeeper. She was an older woman, possibly in her mid-fifties. You never cared to ask her- mainly because you didn’t want to be rude and you actually liked her.

Looking up at the clock in Miguel’s office, you saw that it was already seven thirty in the evening. Reservations were supposedly made for eight. Miguel had thirty minutes to get there.

A part of you didn’t really care if he had forgotten or just waved it off. You didn’t want to force yourself to be nice with him, because who knew, you might just throw a glass of wine at him just as you did during your wedding reception.

You could hear a chime coming from the Alexa that rested on Miguel’s desk, signaling that someone had entered the house.

Finally. You honestly thought he wasn’t going to come.

Raising from his chair, you decided to go ahead and greet your husband.

He was making his way upstairs as you made your way down the hallway, both of you making eye contact.

“You’re late. I thought you weren’t going to come,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

As Miguel stepped closer, you could notice blood splattered on his white shirt.

“I know. Let me get changed real quick,” he replied as he walked past you.

You knew Miguel had a way of dealing with those who wronged him. You have seen his blood-stained knuckles, bloodied shirts and a dangerous look in his eyes. It’s pretty much like in the movies. Some poor unlucky soul gets tortured to death by the boss or someone higher up. You’d like to think that Miguel isn’t simply killing people just because of blood-lust. While it wasn’t your business to judge, you didn’t want to be married to someone who is a little too eager to get blood on his hands.

You made your way to his room, standing by the door as you watched Miguel slip on a fresh pair of pants and button-up shirt, something more suitable for dinner. Once he was finished, he took another look at you, furrowing his brows a bit.

“What?” You questioned.

“What are you wearing?”

“What do you mean ‘what are you wearing’?” You asked, looking down at your dress.

“Don’t you think that’s too revealing?” He asked.

“What? Revealing? Where? Don’t tell me showing a little leg and shoulder is prohibited. Come on! This is the height of fashion right now, as well as demonstrating body positivity.” Miguel simply gave you a look as if in disgust. Not for the body positivity part. But rather your fashion choices. He was aware of your family’s success in the fashion industry. He even applauded it. But, he was also a man with much simpler tastes. Tastes that you would sometimes groan over.

“Well, I’m not changing, so let’s just get going,” you said as you grabbed a shawl to compliment your dress, and to shut Miguel up.

The ride to the restaurant was quiet, save for the music that was playing on the radio. You two had very different music tastes. Not surprising. Sometimes you’d change the station or hook up your phone to Bluetooth. But, you tried to sit back and let him listen to his music this time.

When you two managed to get there, Miguel stopped in front of the valet and got out. The valet driver in-waiting opened the car door for you to help you get out as Miguel rounded the car, handing the keys over to the young man who then took the sleek black suv to the parking garage.

He gave you his arm to take. It had become routine. Show some sort of display of affection while in public. You never knew who could be watching. Sometimes cameras would pop out in front of you two.

The proposal was rushed. The engagement. The wedding. People grew suspicious, and rightfully so. Your families quickly came up with a story of how you and Miguel were seeing each other in secret despite the rivalry of the families. The alleged secrecy of romance and hurried marriage gave you two the the title of Romeo and Juliet. Two star-crossed lovers who went against all odds just to be together despite your families and their differences. But, unlike the story, your ending didn’t result in a double-suicide, but rather acceptance, wedding bells, and peace between the two families. Everyone bought it. Well..almost everyone.

As you two made your way inside and were greeted by the hostess, you were taken to a more secluded area of the restaurant. There, the table had been set up especially for you. A bottle of wine rested over a bed of ice, candles were lit on the table, as well as around the perimeter of your area. It would have been romantic, had you actually had romantic feelings for Miguel.

Still, he was a gentleman and he did go out of his way to reserve a nice place for you.

He pulled a chair out for you to sit and scooted you in before taking his seat across from you. The music from a live pianist in the main dining hall still reached your private area. Had it not been for them, the room would’ve been dead silent as you and Miguel silently looked through your menus.

“Can I pour you a glass of your wine?” A waitress asked onceshe approached your table. She was young. Tall and thin with big blue eyes and blonde hair tied up in a ponytail. And wearing way too much makeup. At least for your tastes.

You could see how she was looking at Miguel, batting her fake eyelashes. You thought they were either going to fall off or send her flying away. Either way, you simply rolled your eyes. You didn’t care if Miguel got hit on, but come on, at least not while you were right there to see.

“Yes, thank you,” Miguel said, giving her a charming smile. It made you roll our eyes again. Yes, he was being polite and all, but you could see right through him.

“Can I offer you both an appetizer to start?” She then asked, still looking over at Miguel.

Miguel then looked over to you, giving you a nod. “Would you like something to start with?”

”Yes, actually. Some bread for the table. they usually bring it out at the beginning,” you started. Which was true. You were just trying to be a little petty.

“And how about some crab cakes and a salad for the table?”

The waitress nodded her head, her smile now a straight line. So straight, you could swipe your card through it like a card reader.

“Yes, of course. I will put those in for you and bring you your bread,” she said before leaving the table.

You simply rolled your eyes once again as you settled back against your seat.

“How was lunch with your family?” Miguel then asked, trying to make conversation.

“It was fine,” you responded. Usually, your responses would be short, and Miguel wouldn’t entertain the topic further. You knew you should at least try to get along with him, giving that you are married and that you will be spending the rest of your life with him. You simply assumed that it just hadn’t kicked in yet. You were going to try, though.

One day.

“Ah, Mr. O’Hara! Mrs. O’Hara! A pleasure to see you two here tonight!” Someone behind you exclaimed. You could hear their heavy footsteps before turning around and seeing the owner and head chef of the restaurant. “Javier. A pleasure to see you,” Miguel said. “We were just celebrating my wife’s birthday.” “Ah! Of course! Happy birthday, Mrs. O’Hara. You look as stunning as ever,” Javier exclaimed. The man was five foot three, a mix of tan to sunburned skin, and all round. He kind of reminded you of the Pillsbury mascot. He looked so squishable and jolly.

“Actually, Javier. Would you mind me having a word with you, real quick?” Miguel then asked, scooted his chair back from the table and stood, easily towering over the man.

“O-oh! O-of cours! Of course! Come, come! Let’s step to the side,” Javier stated, now looking a little nervous as he led Miguel out of the room, leaving you alone.

All while Miguel was having his private conversation with Javier, the waitress came back with the bread and appetizers.

“We are going to need a couple of minutes,” you stated as she placed everything onto the tables.

“Of course! I’ll make my way back around in a few minutes,” the waitress said, giving you a tight-lipped smile.

You tried your best to not roll your eyes at her again as she left. Letting out a sigh, you decided to dig into the bread and appetizers. You sure weren’t going to wait for Miguel to come back to start eating. You never waited for him. Not because you didn’t want to, but because you knew you’d be waiting forever for him.

–

Soon enough, you were back home. You were still slightly curious about the conversation Miguel had with Chef Javier. But, you didn’t think you should press Miguel about it. Some things were meant to be kept in private. Besides, you wanted no part of this whole mafia stuff. It had stolen so much of your freedom already. You wanted to remain ignorant of what goes on behind closed doors as much as possible.

You both made your way upstairs, neither of you speaking as you made your way to your rooms for the night.

Tomorrow you were planning on heading over to the boutique. Your cousin was currently operating it and sometimes you’d go to help her out. It helped you get out of the house every once in a while. Plus, you were usually filled with inspiration when you were surrounded by your family’s clothing. You were still working on your portfolio to give out to various companies, in hopes they would hire you.

You were confident that they would. You were talented. Plus, you have your family’s name to back you up. Now, all you had to do was to make sure you get a good night’s rest so you could get up refreshed.

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #atsv miguel #miguel ohara #miguel o’hara x reader #atsv #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara fanfiction #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel spiderman #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o hara #miguel o hara x reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara fanfic

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selfishmachinez · 3 months

Note

this request was inspired by someone else who wrote it with Adam but idk I can’t find the post I think they may have deleted it or smthn😔

anyway- reader x Lucifer , Adam, and mammon (romantic, seperately) who plays that “best brother ever ” prank on them in public? i just think it’s really funny😭 if you don’t know what I’m talking about this is what I mean: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLevxYyu/

"BEST BROTHER EVER"

notes: STOPP I SAW THIS ITS SO FUNNY😭 this trend kills me everytime omg

also hours after posting this i realised it was flopping cause i didnt add any tags someone bury me😔

warnings: adam and mammon being themselves (assholes😇); mammon being a bitch (kinda nsfw for him? idk you'll be the judge of that); not proofread

word count: 339

ACTUAL POST UNDER CUT

Lucifer 🍎 —

okay so for all 3 lets say your relationship isnt out to the public yet, but people just kinda figured it out already

poor baby was so clueless😭

i dont think hes very up to date with pranks/trends/all that

THOUGHT YOU WERE FRIENDZONING HIM FOR A SECOND????

"well youre not an angel NOT LIKE THAT youre TECHNICALLY not an angel so we cant really be,, siblings,, BUT im glad you think of me like that i just thought we had more going on???"

if you keep the prank going he'll gen be hurt

you had to sit down and explain the joke to him

all you got out of him was a nervous chuckle and a "oooohhhhhhh..."

give my man some time ok hes old as hell (pun intended) 🧍‍♀️

Adam 🪽 —

first of all how DARE you

hes usually the one pulling the pranks on you

bro was flabbergasted 😭

he gives you that stare he gave lucifer after he said "and now i am going to FUCK you >:)"

second of all he kissed you back ok but when you said THAT???

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE????

"dont say that, you crazy bitch."

"i love you big bro, cmon."

he pushed you after that one ok🥰

after you tell him you were jk he was like "fuck was that for??? you wanna ruin MY reputation???? do you know who i am" bla bla bla

hes not gen mad just a little pissed at best

Mammon 🃏 —

"what?????"

"youre the best big bro ever!"

his reaction is fairly close to adam's imo

except hes not mad and actually plays along

"you into that stupid ass roleplay thingy now, eh?"

shit got heated for a second😨

"nononono ITS A PRANK ITS A PRANK"

"is it now?"

had you genuinely panic

that horny bastard istg!!!!!!!

he saw the trend already so he knows youre just playing

the kiss kinda threw him off tbh, he didnt want your relationship being public yet (cause he outed asmodeus and fizz and didnt wanna be seen as a hypocrite etc)

#hazbin hotel #adam hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #mammon helluva boss #helluva boss mammon #helluva boss #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #adam x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #helluva boss x reader #adam hazbin hotel x reader #lucifer hazbin x reader #selfishmachinez

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bluetoraa · 2 years

Text

~karma akabane starts crushing on you!!<3~

!warnings!

swearing

minor violence mentions.

holy fucking shit, he’s going to be so annoying.

im genuinely praying for you, you poor soul.

he’s teasing you more than anyone else.

it gets so bad everyone thinks he’s bullying you until rio finally realizes whats going on and tells the class, expect you, of course.

he’s pulling your chair behind you before you can sit down so you fall on your ass, karma’s purposely bumping into you, poking you whenever you try to concentrate, whatever annoys you most, he does.

when you start to distance yourself, karma thinks of going for a nicer approach rather than being annoying to get your attention.

he starts off small like, holding doors open for you, giving you answers to whatever question your struggling with, and giving you a pen or pencil when needed.

over time when you don’t notice his ‘friendly’ advances, he trys to get his feelings, or well, his ‘flirtatious moves’.

as he would call it. its nothing like what he calls it.

karma packs you extra lunches just incase, gives you homework answers after he so bravely asks for your number., asking to hang out more often, and everything else he considered flirty.

karma can and will stare at you for the whole class. he doesn’t care who sees, if he can look at you he’s happy.

karma is an absolute lost puppy with you.

where ever you go karma’s like ‘omg i have to go there too!! let’s go together!!’

any class A student that makes fun of you actually doesn’t show up to school for a few weeks.

karma may or may not have anything to do with it, but he won’t tell you.

if you’re struggling with a subject in school, karma will become the best teacher in the world.

if karma hears you mentions one of your interests, he will spend all night learning everything about it just to talk to you.

he’s that desperate for your attention.

now, you might be thinking, ‘oh! since he likes me that much it clearly won’t take him long to confess.’

LMFAOOO no.

karma has gone through so many ideas to confess just to get half way through, get nervous, and bail.

he’s written over 20 confession notes, 30 texts, bought 5 flowers, 9 chocolate boxes, and tried to hold a boom box over his head once.

all things, hes deleted, thrown out, given away, and destroyed.

it’ll take him awhile due to his ego. do NOT expect this to be an easy road.

he will be close to confessing, just for his ego to get in the way.

but if you have a working brain, you’ll be able to tell that he likes you.

even though you’ll hurt his ego by confessing, please fucking do it.

PLEASE ITS GETTING PAINFUL.

but when you do OH MY GOD he feels like he’s on the moon.

he is so happy its not even funny.

karma’s the luckest man on earth if you like him!!

AUTHOR NOTES!

this is short i know😭

and i know i promised to post something like four days ago…but shh…

anyways, byebye!

i hope you have a great day/night, thank you for reading!<3

september 1st, 5:07 PM.

#bluetoraa #assassination classroom #karma akabane x reader #karma x reader #assassination classroom x reader #xoxo!<3 #karma #karma akabane

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dullweapons · 2 months

Text

hewwo i might spend today on some writing but my blog feeling messy ! so imma go through & delete old ooc posts & maybe fix up my graphics. but also tiny announcements that will be added to my rules . some not major , some kinda important so i would appreciate it if y’all read this ( i will be properly updating my rules when i can get to my computer ) :

🔻 i have health issues i am going through ( my heart has been having SVT episodes. basically this means my hearts being a bit odd & pumping harder then it needs to be ? i’ve having tests done so hopefully we figure out exactly what happened & what can be done . ) which makes me very tired. sometimes i can’t even get out of bed let alone write — so sometimes i will be MIA without any warning . i’m telling you this so no one thinks I’m ignoring them or anything like that .

🔻due to the anon hate i will be keeping anonymous asks closed for a bit . again, my apologies to those who have side blogs & use anon asks to send things in. simply send it from your main & i’ll put them in a separate thread ! i am also sorry to those who maybe be too shy to approach to ask questions but i truly don’t wish to deal with anon hate over petty things. which brings me to my next point.

🔻if you have any problems with me— may they be with how i responded in a thread , how i spoke ooc, or whatever it may be : please talk to me. i will not bite i promise you this but im gonna be 26 next month & i cannot handle people skirting around issues anymore . i cannot correct problems if i am not informed of them ( or at the very least explain myself ).

if i do turn anon back on — it is not the way to discuss issues with me. i understand you may be shy but hiding does not solve issues ( if i miss tagged something or requesting me to tag something isn’t an issues . i will do it even if anon asks. i’m talking about major issues . ) we’re all adults here trying to have fun.

there are things i won’t change — like i’m not going to put nsfw on a side blog but i will tag it as spicy tw or suggestive tw . ray is will always be auto angry at botw / totk zelda’s . ray will hate hylia by default . ( i’ve had ppl me upset at this, thinking their versions of these muses where better & didn’t deserve his reaction . they tried to push ray to be OOC because they preferred it … they quickly left but im using it as an example of things that could have been corrected with proper communication but they never heard me anyway so 🙄)

🔻to my last point : i understand the person in my DNI has deleted . i will be keeping them in my DNI incase they return as they hinted they might . i was informed by their friend to curate my space & i will continue to do so .

#psa / ooc.#( soooo yeah :D hope that clears things up ?? )#( i gotta take my pills cause im an old man on like 10 different meds )#( /rolls away )

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starlight-library · 4 months

Note

writing smut about real people is so weird wtf

well this wasn’t something i was expecting to wake up to so good morning to you as well anon. you can find it weird and not like. that's fine but here are a few things.

first and foremost this is RPF: Real-person fiction. It's just like the name states! It's fictional.

second i don't exclusively write smut. I know you're probably side eyeing like "that's a lie" but I don't! I actually have some SFW things in the works to come out this month as well.

last thing is (and can be controversial take but) i'm not doing anything harmful. it is harmless writing. im not shouting it from the rooftops or anything. i'm not shoving (or trying to anyway) it down anybody's throat. I am on here writing into the void because it's harmless fun.

also another hot take: they probably don't even bat an eye. they are probably super busy with everything else they got going on to really care about it or even know that it exist. now if someone--like a driver for example-- came forward and said they're uncomfortable with this existing or would like boundaries place about what is and isn't written guess what?

I WILL BE RESPECTING THAT SHIT

'okay so this driver doesn't want any fics' delete. 'okay so this driver made some boundaries' cool i know what i can and cannot write. do you know what has happened? neither of those things! why? because they probably don't know this exist or have the time to bat an eye about this shit.

again it’s fiction at the end of the day. it is harmless fiction i am just writing. if you like it, you like it! if you don't, that's cool too! you don't have to read! i'm posting this shit for free just for fun! nobody has to read my shit!

also hey. psssst: you are responsible for your own media consumption btw!

your media consumption does not fall onto me. i ain't the one. i make sure my shit is tagged. you may not like it but if you clearly skip over the tags - the whole warning portion i put BEFORE the fic - then i don't know what else to tell you dawg fr.

it's like a friend suggesting a book and informing you that there are trigger warnings. they send you the list of triggers. you ignore the list and read then turn around like "why didn't you tell me about this??" ???? like???? uhhhh no.

also to anyone else who reads my things: please read the warnings. for the love of god that's all i ask. i'm begging.

but anyway. yeah. you can find it weird and wonder wtf is going on but this ain't what we doing. curator your dashboard for yourself. i ain't changing my shit. never had never will idc if i'm weird for it. i know i am weird, always have been always will be. mute the tags, mute my blog, block my blog for fuck sakes idc but this? is not what we're gonna do.

anyway, i'm gonna go finally have my energy drink and go write and vibe, have the day you deserve anon ✌️

#moon speaks #asks #anon

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sleepgarden · 9 months

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I would love to hear more about that quote if you’re comfortable sharing!!

Yes! Okay I'll write it under a readmore- content warnings for abuse and trauma, in this specific case sexual. ...It ended up very long, I'm sorry >< !! I hope it all makes sense at least.

Now that I'm actually about to write it I realize how much context i need to give, so I'll try to do it as simply as possible but this is actually the first time im talking about this piece in depth, so it may still be a little messy..

At the time of making the piece I was at the end of a very long and hurtful relationship. During that relationship I was coerced, taken advantage of, and had my decline of consent ignored (that's one way to put it.. its hard to talk about lol). The timeline leading up to the illustration is hard to explain, but some time before is when i started accepting that i was trans. I allowed myself to see me as i am, explore my identity, approach my own thoughts/feelings with curiosity instead of fear. I gained a lot of confidence in that time (at least, compared to what i had before!) but i kept it a secret from my then-partner as they werent exactly accepting. With this newfound confidence though I expressed some desires to them that they gave a very clear and solid no to, so I immediately dropped it and moved on. (I should also say, i never really asked for anything in that relationship before. The things my partner did made me think that i was asexual for years, lmao) Later, nearing the end of it, is when i started realizing how truly awful the things they did were and how deeply it affected me. I felt like I had given (been taken from, actually) so much and had nothing to show for it. I also had the realization when thinking back about when I myself asked for something too but was told no, just how easy it was to accept that. In fact is was impossible to imagine not accepting it and getting them to do what i wanted anyways.

So to now explain the phrase "and now with thorns of his own, its the roses call to endure" The thorns are the shift of the dynamic, where as before the rose was the only one with them, the character in the illustration had now grown his own. Equally awful to touch or be touched by. He calls on the rose to endure just as he did. But, of course, I didnt feel that way. I would never want to do that to someone. I could never expect that from them, you know? How could I? And thats just it- thats where the anger came from: How could they?

The realization of what its like on the other end to be told "no" and to imagine pushing them to deal with it regardless was infuriating. The illustration calls on the rose to endure, but the anger in the piece is about asking it to do so. It's such an impossible thing to imagine doing, but something that I experienced for years. I was angry with myself for going through that, I was angry with them for everything they did, and i put it all in that illustration. It was genuinely one of the most healing illustrations ive ever made, and i officially ended the relationship soon after.

With all illustrations there really is more to it than can be said with a blanket explanation like that. But the major emotional force was driven by those things, if that makes sense? I am glad people can connect to this piece or see themself in their own way, however they interpret it. I've had people say they feel seen with it, or that its satisfying to them, and it fills my heart so much that it aches. As i said before, its bittersweet, but so meaningful to me.

I wrote this earlier today and while reviewing the draft I see how messy it is, but I'm going to post anyways! I apologize if it's incoherent- it's hard to tall about complex emotions like that. And due to how personal it is (the most personal I've ever been online I think) I'll delete it sometime in the future. Anyways, thank you again for reaching out about it! I don't get a chance to talk about my work very often. ♡

Thank you anyone who ready all that as well!

#Very messy and some parts aren't clear but it's okay. The gist is there I think #Have a wonderful day ♡

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shiny-jr · 1 year

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Legit had to take a long sigh before I decided how to reply to this ask I got that follows the topic of the last asks. I decided to copy paste here because it’s a long one, and I wanted to put the warnings first. So, WARNING, talk of non-con, dub-con, etc. Minors, please stay away from this particular conversation. We’ll be back to our regular stuff shortly, hopefully.

anon in the inbox: i don't think non-con or dub-con is an issue, like pretty sure that's a part of BDSM roleplay (correct me if im wrong but that's what ive seen explained before) so it's not that concerning to me; people just have some kinks. i personally don't like it either (because i find it very uncomfortable and just not to my taste) but to flat out say that writers who do write this kind of stuff need therapy or are concerning is just kind of rude? i don't mean to offend but people are allowed to enjoy certain things, it's all based on preference after all. but like that one other anon said and you commented on tagging work, that is pretty annoying. there should always be a warning about that type of stuff cause it can be triggering. there is (to me at least) a very clear line between fantasy and reality and I'm sure a lot of writers can distinguish the fact that yandere content is just not okay for irl even if they write stuff that may "romanticise" it (you shouldn't be reading that type of content anyway if you're not feeling okay so it's kinda on the reader too if the work is properly tagged) like i enjoy reading soft yandere stuff with a darling who accepts the red flags but i know that in real life this would be very disturbing and just flat out manipulation and i'd never want to find myself in this position. i think you might have over exaggerated this aspect a bit but i do respect your opinion and you are entitled to it but im just leaving my thoughts for others.

Me, personally, I think non-con and dub-con is an issue. Because that stuff derives from no consent or not clear consent and it’s not just in bdsm role-play, it’s also in fanfics. And I do think it’s concerning that people do genuinely enjoy reading/writing those topics. Can I stop them? No. Is what I say gonna stop them? Most likely no. All I can do is keep that stuff off my page and avoid it.

As for the whole fantasy and reality stuff with the yandere thing, I know it’s fantasy, I know most people know it’s fantasy too, but there are still very young impressionable children that get their hands on electronics and end up on sites they should not be on at their age. I mentioned something similar before. I know minors follow me, I know they read my stuff, I know they’re on this site, minors that should be focusing on other stuff instead of reading questionable things on the internet. This is the reason why I’m so adamantly against the romanticization of yanderes and why I refuse to write it. Because there are readers young enough that can’t quite yet distinguish the line between fantasy and reality. They see this stuff about yanderes and may come to think, “oh, I want a yandere! this violent and (sometimes maybe) abusive stuff is okay! Their manipulation and unhealthy obsession is okay too if they say they love me!”

Finally, you said you enjoy reading about soft yanderes with an mc that accepts the red flags. If that’s the case, I’m not sure why you’re here if you read my stuff. Yes, I write “soft” yanderes, but I don’t write anything accepting a Yandere’s red flags. As spoken about here. If you disagree with the things I said, oh well, I said earlier that I wasn’t likely to change your mind. Just don’t ever ask me to write anything like non-con or romanticizing yanderes. This is the last post I’m gonna talk about this topic, because really, I just wanted to spend my evening writing and relaxing. Yet here we are. I probably missed some stuff, but this talk made me tired. If another message about this comes up in the inbox, it’s getting deleted.

#shiny rants #probably important

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all-seeing-ifer · 2 years

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hi, ok, this is kinda weird and out of the blue but im a musical theater student and I've been assigned to sing Astonishing from little women and i need to fill this whole chart about how I personally relate to the song. So first of all A+ for my teacher for nailing it with the character choice for me but before i start rambling to him about the whole Jo is Aroace and Trans Agenda i kinda wanted to have "backup"? not as in he would shut me down but just because I want to be ready when he asks questions and to show him im not alone in thinking this, I was wondering if you have any good essays about this? even like, your own character analysis! im just looking for more opinions and views so I have a strong case

:D oh this is absolutely not weird I actually feel super super honoured that you decided to come to me to ask about it!! Hopefully I can be of help - I’m afraid I don’t have anything in the way of like. actual academia talking about it, because I’ve just never really looked into the academia around Little Women (though that would certainly be interesting to look at…)

I can link you to a few different posts that might be helpful though! It was about time I made like a masterlist of queer Jo posts anyway. Also fair warning some of these are specifically about the 2019 film which may not be super helpful to you in terms of talking about the musical and source material but I’d figured I’d include them for the sake of comprehensiveness.

Posts about the book and earlier adaptations:

An argument for Jo being aroace based on the book

Some moments of trans subtext I noticed in the 1994 film

My list of Jo moments (Joments?) that I think read as incredibly aro (this one actually directly references the musical and the song Astonishing!)

Not specifically an aro Jo post but some of my analysis of Jo and Laurie’s dynamic that was very much informed by the idea of Jo being aro

My argument for Jo being ace based on the book

Examples of moments in the book that can be read as Jo being trans

Analysis of how Jo’s experience (in both the book and 2019 film) mirrors the experiences of many aro people

Posts about the 2019 film:

My analysis of how viewing Jo as aroace fits with the themes of the film

My thoughts on Jo’s motivations in the 2019 film

General discussion of queer subtext throughout different versions, but mainly the 2019 film

Analysis of queer subtext in the film more generally - focused on the reading of Jo as a lesbian so not strictly relevant to what you asked but well worth reading! And y’know. overlapping experiences and all that.

My analysis of the film’s ending in view of Jo being aro

More of my commentary on the film’s proposal scene (not specifically about aroace Jo but that reading is relevant)

An argument for Jo being aroace based on the film (but with some points that are also relevant to earlier versions)

My comparison of different versions of the proposal scene and what gives the 2019 version such an aro feeling

My evidence for Jo being aro based on the film

Another argument for Jo being aro based on the film, again with some points that apply to earlier versions

And of course, what discussion of a classic fictional character being aroace would be complete without a contribution from Mx David J Bradley! Would highly recommend watching their segment in Tara Mooknee’s video on amatonormativity. Again, they deal with the 2019 film specifically but aside from the discussion of the ending most of the stuff they talk about is also applicable to earlier versions, and it’s definitely one of the most comprehensive arguments I’ve seen for aroace Jo! Also it’s where my header image came from, so you know it’s a good video!

Sorry for how long it took me to answer this I hope at least some of this is useful! I found surprisingly few posts about the trans subtext; I definitely have seen some in the past but either they’ve been deleted or it’s just tumblr search acting up again.

#little women #little women 2019 #jo march #ifer rambles #asks and stuff

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bbrandy2002 · 1 year

Text

I posted 117 times in 2022

10 posts created (9%)

107 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ao719

@burnsoslow

@charlotteg234

@kingliam2019

@dcbbw

I tagged 23 of my posts in 2022

#queued - 9 posts

#the royal romance - 5 posts

#king liam - 5 posts

#liam x mc - 5 posts

#trr - 5 posts

#liam x riley - 5 posts

#bbrandy2002 - 3 posts

#fools rush in - 3 posts

#long post - 2 posts

#choices - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 35 characters

#who says we dont work in the summer

My Top Posts in 2022:

Happy Sunday @charlotteg234

🥵 Enjoy!

13 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

An Apology

Several months ago I accused someone of sending me a hate anon. I've thought about that ordeal from time to time, but even more so recently.

Being in a place in my life where Im not so stressed out anymore or disillusioned by every little thing, Im able to make rational thoughts and think things through a little clearer. Looking back at old messages with someone else, I have a pretty solid feeling I know who actually did send them and thankfully they're not around here any longer.

With that said, when Im wrong, I say Im wrong. And in that instance ... I was wrong. Even if I never said her name publicly, I would like to apologize to @queenrileyrose for my accusations and the hurt you experienced following that. I've already done so privately and the nature of that conversation will remain so.

I can't undo what happened, I can only try to make it right.

Here's to 2022 being about positivity and kindness. Again, my humblest apologies to QRR.

13 notes - Posted January 3, 2022

Happy Birthday to ...me lol

I have to take a moment here to show off these two amazing commissions my bestie @burnsoslow and my great friend @ao719 had done for my birthday.

The first piece by Burns is from her ORDIV Ch 33 when Liam proposed to Riley in the gazebo at Valtoria where the had their first day 🥺🥺🥺

The second one is from Anitah, who used a scene from the fic Burns wrote for my birthday last year Heaven, Hell or Houston when Liam and Riley had met at the bar and when on this whirlwind date, kissing at every stop light 😍

Two of my favorite scenes captured so perfectly and it makes my heart swell so big.

Thank you both so much for these precious works that I will cherish and most likely stare at everyday for weeks to come. I love you both with all my heart and thank you for making another year of getting older a lot more bearable and for your friendship that I value so hard!

59 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

Fools Rush In

Chapter 21

Book: TRR

Pairing: Liam x Riley

Series Premise: With two weeks before he is set to marry Madeleine, the guys throw Liam an impromptu bachelor party that results in him (and Drake) leaving Vegas with more than he bargained for.

Word count: 3900 -ish

Warning: Language

Soooo ... hey lol It's been a hot minute since I've written or posted anything (or just been around in general). Anyway, I came back to several messages asking about this chapter. I actually had 90% of it written back in October and just thought it was pure shit and gave up on it ... actually, I gave up on writing altogether. Having some time this week, I opened up the doc, rewrote some things, deleted out some stuff and finally managed to finish it. It's still not even close to what I wanted it to be, as it's the end of this arc, but I've decided to just have fun writing again. If there's anything Ive learned during my time away it's that none of us will ever write the perfect story, or use the perfect words, or have the most compelling characters and it's okay; I think I finally have accepted that. Just have fun doing it!

This concludes my TedTalk

---------------------------

“Doctor ... Wolfschitz?” a bewildered Alyssa questioned.

“That’s no damn doctor!” Drake bore his eyes into the former prince, who was already howling with laughter, dodging a pillow that whirled in his direction from Drake. “What the actual fuck is your problem, Leo?”

Leo clutched his side, trying to catch his breath. “The look on your face, man … I can't. I really had you going there for a minute didn’t I, Walker? Afraid you were about to lose that new pee-pee, huh?” He continued to laugh riotously at Drake’s expense before his gaze hastily shifted its attention toward Alyssa. “Why’d you blow my cover, thong girl?”

“Thong girl? Alyssa muttered, absentmindedly crossing her legs while attempting to hide the fact her face was quickly glowing bright pink. How’d he know I was wearing one?

“Why are you here, Leo?” Drake repeated as Leo casually strolled up to his bed and scooped up a chocolate pudding cup from Drake’s food tray. “And how in the sam hell did you even know I was in the hospital?

“Came with Liam,” he replied nonchalantly as he plopped his ass down on the end of the bed and peeled off the top of his pudding cup, licking the plastic wrap clean. “He’s down the hall with Riley right now. Seems my little brother is a prized stud after all … got that Rys sperm in him, ya know? Knocked her up real good yo. Hafta say … I’m impressed.”

“Knocked her up?” Alyssa gasped before stepping closer to him. “Hold up; Riley’s pregnant?”

Leo nodded and shoveled a giant heap of pudding into his mouth. “Yeah. I’m going to be an uncle again --” he eyed Drake’s plate contemplatively, “ -- You gonna eat the rest of that meatloaf, man?” Drake scowled and pushed his tray toward the hungry Prince.

Alyssa quickly put all the clues together. “So that’s why Riley was so sick earlier? She didn’t have a concussion, --” she smiled endearingly, “ -- she just had morning sickness. ... Well, is she okay? Is the baby okay? The fall didn’t hurt them, did it?”

Leo, concentrating on finishing the rest of that meatloaf, languidly shrugged. “I dunno.”

“Well, did they at least give her something safe for her back pain yet?” Alyssa probed further.

Leo shoved another large bite of meatloaf and again answered. “I dunno.”

“Oh my God! Do you know anything?” A frustrated Alyssa finally asked.

With a mouthful of food, Leo tilted his head back in deep thought and replied the best he could, “I know this meatloaf is fucking BOMB, dude. Not too shabby for hospital grub.” He swallowed heartily. “The pudding on the other hand … absolute shit.” He tapped the edge of the plastic container with his plastic spoon as he spoke to it, “Snack-Pak, you disappoint me.”

Desperate for an answer, Alyssa reached out and grasped Leo’s shirt, jerking him closer. “Fuck the snack-pak, Wolfshitz; what about Riley?”

“Riley? Oh, she never disappoints me …” Leo sideways glanced with a frown. “Liam on the other hand ...”

Stunned by this strange man’s erratic and seemingly unhinged behavior, Alyssa shot a wide-eyed glare at Drake, who just shook his head slowly. “Don’t try to make sense of him, Alyssa. Just don’t. You’ll never be able to figure him out.”

Needing to be reassured, Alyssa pulled a cell phone from her back pocket and started furiously shooting off a text to Riley. While her back was turned to the men, Drake couldn’t help but notice the way her ass hugged perfectly in those skinny jeans and soon realized his new body part had showed up in tandem with his sudden arousal. With Leo’s interest remaining focused on the damn meatloaf for the time being, Drake eased a hand under the white sheet covering him and felt around the area below his waist; his breath hitched with relief at the rock-solid bulge that had erupted. Feeling a little giddy that everything was working as it should, the euphoria soon subsided when he caught a glimpse of Leo’s saucy gaze on Alyssa.

Overcome with a strong sense of jealousy over the girl he’d just caught sneaking a peek at his naked self less than five minutes ago, Drake quietly urged through gritted teeth, “Stop looking at her like that, Leo! She’s not some conquest you can just sack for your sick playboy pleasures.”

“Says the guy who caught panty crickets from a $2 hooker and needed a dick transplant.” Leo retorted with a smirk. “Besides, father always said, ‘I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.” He wagged his tongue in lust. “And I see that.” He motioned to Alyssa’s backside.

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73 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

First Comes Love

Chapter One

Book: The Royal Romance -Complete AU

Pairing:Liam x Riley/Liam x Madeleine (I promise Maddie’s nice here)

A/N: This will most likely be a mini-series; no more than 5 or 6 chapters.This is loosely based on a movie you might recognize but I’ve tried to make it my own.

Series Premise: It's destiny when two people from different worlds meet. Riley is an up-and-coming wedding planner who finds herself tasked with planning the biggest wedding of her career, only to find out the man she fell for after a brief encounter in NYC is the groom ... and a king.

Trigger Warnings: There is a mention of suicidal ideation, but it’s not part of the plot. Some minor language.

Thank you @burnsoslow for pre-reading. All grammar errors are my own.

It’s been so long since I’ve started a new fic, I don’t even know if I have a taglist that isn’t filled with people who have left or hate me now; I guess I’m starting all over again. If you want tagged, let me know.

New York City

Liam zoned out 2.1 seconds after stepping inside a trendy office on the upper floors of a high-rise building in downtown Manhattan. The pale pink shades of the walls, decorative cushions, window scarfing, and gloss on the lips of his future bride, screamed out bottles of Pepto to the new King -- if only he had some to help with the unease in the pit of stomach.

That morning, a meeting with a highly renowned woman was on the agenda, discussing and presenting potential options for his upcoming nuptials, just weeks away. Even under normal circumstances, a wedding wasn’t exactly something that excited Liam. Not that he was never thrilled for the couple and wished them all the happiness in the world, it just held little importance in his day-to-day life. Weddings served as yet another reminder of what he wanted -- and what he couldn't have.

It was amusing to Liam how he could hold so much power, yet wielded none of it for himself.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

The owner of this particular firm, Jill Gordon, had built quite the reputation as the elite among modern event design, planning, and production companies, with a specialty in weddings. The clientele included a long list of celebrities, politicians, affluent Manhattan debutantes, and occasionally acquired foreign business. The latter is how Madeleine first heard of The Jill Gordon Company while attending the French Ambassador's ceremony several months ago as a representative for Cordonia. With the last stop of their engagement tour in New York City, the future queen was eager to add a visit to her appointment book before they returned home and began the laborious task of planning the biggest wedding in Cordonian history.

Although the palace had more than their fair share of staff with experience hosting monumental events, such as balls, state dinners, and various celebrations, there hadn’t been a royal wedding there in over 20 years. Madeleine thought someone with experience handling grand-scale weddings with a sophisticated flair, who could share their vision and expertise with the staff and take charge of the arrangements, would guarantee everything went off without a hitch.

The King simply went along to get along.

Madeleine and Liam sat across from Jill at her glass-top desk, where a single, lone laptop sat catty-corner on top. While the owner enthused and embellished her business to an attentive Madeleine, Liam focused on the assemblage of black-and-white portraits meticulously placed in neat rows along the wall behind the woman’s desk. It was no doubt a deliberate focal point to showcase the clients her agency had done work for in the past. Maybe others who had previously sat in the same chair he sat in at that moment were charmed with the love and joy captured in each of those images; the twinge in Liam’s heart wasn’t buying into it.

After a lengthy social season and with a lot of pressure from his father and the council, he’d chosen Madeleine to become his queen. At first, he couldn’t stand her -- Hell, maybe he never could. She was pretentious, overbearing, cunning, and frequently insensitive. But somewhere between his coronation and the beginning of the tour, she changed almost as if overnight. At that first stop in Fydelia, he noticed a more relaxed, more thoughtful, and just easier to be around Madeleine. It’s possible she’d finally gotten the coveted prize she had obsessed over long before being dumped after Leo abdicated and could put aside some of that anxiety that brought out the worst in her. But to Liam, it seemed to be a little something more: either the Countess had come to her senses about her standoffish behavior, or maybe it was this new business venture Hana and Rashad talked her into, causing a distraction for the Countess.

Whatever it was, was a welcome change. Liam had grown to respect her, find some common ground, and put away some of that overwhelming dread about spending the rest of his life with her. And while it was no secret between the two that there wasn’t more than friendly affection, duty made no exceptions when it came to their obligation.

For both of them, that's precisely what this was. Now it was time to make the best of it and move forward.

Jill sat forward in her swivel chair with a warm smile. Her hands splayed on the glass top as she spoke in a refined tone. “I have the perfect person in mind to handle such an important wedding, as yours… that is if you choose to go with us.” Jill quickly added, not wanting to scare them off with too much pressure, too soon. She knew adding a royal wedding to her list would attract mass attention in the press and social circles for her business, which meant huge profits.

“Really?” Madeleine crowed, glancing over at Liam, who promptly brandished an over-enthused smile before she turned her attention back to Jill. “Tell us more about her.”

“Elaine has over twenty-three years of experience and is the best in this business, and has served most of our biggest named clients. She recently planned the President’s granddaughter’s wedding.” Jill boasted.

“I heard of that one …” Madeleine swooned before adding, “glamorous, yet sophisticated and classy, which is exactly what we’re looking for. Would she have time to meet with us now?”

Jill frowned. “I apologize, but she’s actually booked for the day, preparing for another wedding this evening. A busy lady that one is. Let me see what her calendar looks like.” She moved the mouse beside her laptop around and clicked a few times, pausing momentarily to scan the screen. “She’s free in the morning if you’re able to return then.”

Liam, who had been studying the glass wall that separated Jill’s office from the reception area and wondering why in the hell anyone would want to be watched while they worked, finally contributed to the discussion for the first time since walking in. “We’re actually leaving first thing in the morning.”

“Not until 9:30,” Madeleine hastily clarified. She continued cheerfully, “Tonight marks the official end of our engagement tour, and we’re wrapping up with a celebration in Midtown. We fly out tomorrow.”

“That's wonderful!" Jill replied. "Perhaps the two of you can stop in before your flight in the morning and meet Elaine personally and see if we can work out an agreement. I don’t think you’ll regret it,” she trilled, able to conceal the shameless desperation behind her words like a true professional.

Well schooled in body language and tone, Liam smirked to himself, able to hear it anyway.

See the full post

119 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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cardiac-arresting-sweetheart · 3 months

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Hi do u have advice for someone who’s darling is dating someone else. Not advice for how to get over them im not giving up but like how to make yourself more desirable. Like what did you do to get your darlings

long post incoming because i have gone insane about this so much (lol. WHO AM I!!!!!!!!!) let me drop some insane info on you. finally an excuse to get this out of my system BYEEE

warning. this is really fucking unhealthy. ahahahah. but this is yanblr after all soooo ^_^

you have to figure out what their type is first. it's not too hard to get this information out of them if you just talk enough but especiallyyyy if they're a romantic kind of person, just goad this information out of them.

you can usually also judge from their personality what their type would be. weak people want strong people strong people want weak people. if they're both then they'd usually want either/both. that's what it boils down to. and if you know anything about typology maybe try to figure out their enneagram type or mbti/socionics type if you don't know it already and try researching what they would like based off of that.

and also off the person they're dating. but i think that's kind of obvious. DON'T TRY TO LITERALLY BECOME THEM THOUGH it's way too obvious. you have to make something up yourself... it's an artform

it's pretty easy to act a certain way if you just get used to it. maybe try practicing with ai (can also make an ai version of the idealized version of yourself just to see how it acts or of your darling to experiment... of course not if you're weirded out by ai or anything!) or strangers orrrr something like that. write down the personality you want to have and figure out how it'd talk, how it'd think, force yourself to become it. if you catch yourself thinking/speaking/behaving the wrong way, replace that immediately with the correct version and convince yourself that it was just a glitch. you get used to it eventually.

train yourself to always think before everything you say or do. every morning and night remind yourself to think before you do anything. it'll get through to you eventually. you can try writing or saying to yourself like 15-20 times, "i will always act how i should" or something like that. just a mantra so you start thinking the right way.

appearance wise is the same process just physical. write down what you want/need to look like and go research what you can do for that. just drinking water and eating well (not too much, not too little; gain/lose weight if/as needed/desired, it's just calories in calories out, if you truly care enough and are obsessed enough, you can do anything) works pretty well for looking better. exercise is always good. don't hurt yourself more than you already will be. this isn't really healthy lmfao. don't think i need to go too in depth to it.

and the most effective thing is subliminals/manifestation lol. not too hard to find things for that. you can use that to make them love you back/get rid of a third party and/or to change yourself. ^_^

this is like... really fucking unhealthy though. if that's not totally obvious. sooooo. take this all with a fat tablespoon of salt so to speak or just don't do this because you'll probably go crazy! and it's very likely they may still not even like you anyway... ahahahahahah. 😵‍💫

...i am crazy. i could probably go on for like 10 pages to be honest. LMFAO i love changing myself 😍 i feel like using subliminals can kind of make it okay though... since you can just... manifest that there's no adverse effects. haha.

yeah i'm crazy. thanks for listening to my ted talk i need to delete this later

EDIT: FORGOT TO MENTION get into their interests however possible. there has to be something you'll like LOL

#asks #anon #azri's ramblings

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kyonoc · 9 months

Text

G and KK's obsessive habits.

possibly trigger warning for KK being an absolutely delusional, a walking talking menace of the society, mention of stalking; psychics ghost stories and very superstitious thing (or whatever english word call it) that you may not buy. proceed at your own risk

whew, never thought that I needed to put that in one of my shitpost but ah, well, also maybe bad formatting bc this is my first time posting with PC tumblr and wall of text bc i got lost in my thoughts-. not properly proofread

Does the G I mentioned every now and then use tumblr? Yes, he does. Does he know about my tumblr account? No, he doesnt (perhaps). But do I know his tumblr account? Yes, I do, and please dont even try to ask why I know it without him revealing it- I noticed I tend to have a tendency to suddenly be obsessive about someone/something and, uh, kind of proceed to cyberstalk them-. Intrigue me and I'll be more than motivated to find out about your likes, dislikes, your other social media, your birthday, what kind of person are you, your favourite rock band member, the user name you used five years ago, some post you posted in the 2010s and is deleted but still is archived somewhere on the internet because digital footprints sucks.

disclaimers: by all mean i do not condone this type of behavior. I do it is not the same as it being a right thing to do folks

It doesnt help that most people dont care/dont know about online privacy and security; and i have a knack for analyzing stuff, along with an observant personality. Doesnt take a rocket scientist to piece things together.

And Im interested in human and their business too. I cant help but keep sticking my nose in everything (the details about it is sitting in one of my shitpost drafts but, uhm, in short I'm just curious about human in general). What are they thinking? Can I find their thought patterns? Can I predict their reactions and possibly actions base on this information that I have collected about them? Why do they like this? Why do they write things like this, talk about this topic, have this speaking manner, phrase thing like this? Why do they express themselves like this? What do they mean they have something with something about something? Is this related to their background/childhood? Where do they come from? How did they come to develop such a personality? Alhaitham is absolutely right, everything is connected. You only need to take time to sit back and think. If you cant piece things together, then you can just use elimination to find your answer.

While I'm not insanely good at this detective game and can correctly deduct everything everytime (bc im no genius), I can still have a pretty good guess about the matter and an overall idea about said person.

(oh btw I dont like G romantically or something. Like i said in another post, i think the haitham verse one, I struggle to find myself loving someone genuinely in a romantically manner. G to me is an older sibling figure in which I happen to be obsessive about.) (nevermind that phrasing make it even more weird. what am I talking about I am weird)

(Also, just a feeling without any based logic, but I believe G may or may not know about this already)

I also tend to have a tendency to be super protective/possesive about what I see as mine. Mainly about objects and more abstract, non-physical stuff rather than people, which Im grateful for. Because I'll be most likely to k-ll that person (or track them down first before doing so), and then k- myself. Other mean of keeping them alive is possible, but it's too tedious and require too much effort anyway. Wont it be easier if we all rejoice in the afterlife, if it even exists?

Luckily that it wont happen anytime now lol. But for an explanation..

My good guess is its because I'm usually the one to give away too much without ever receiving in return, including willing to ignore my needs, preferences, feelings and gave up on my comfort for others. Which led me to be very very territorial/protective with what I decided that I wont share, or sacrifice.

While Im good with picking apart other people's stories, I dont even know why Im so... abnormal like this. I have vague guesses but nothing solid (and yet im supposed to be a therapist in the near future). Is this concerning? Yes, very, if you experience these tendencies and feelings/thoughts like me, please go visit a counselor/therapist asap. I'm just very well aware of my limits and my possibilities, and I dont see myself actually committing something that can be classify as "an actual menace to the society" anytime soon, so Im just chilling around. But if you are unsure, seek help. This is not something to be normalized nor is it fine.

Im not a goofy ah person i swore Im veri sirius!! G pls keep looking at me being scholarly pls? i even brought back the "an interesting fact about our world a day" series for u.. Im capable of talking in a more nerdy and science-y way if thats what u want? ill go far n beyond for u G u deserve better so pls be happi why do i sound like a lovesick yandere ew this would have been the tag ramblings but I dont want to accidentally tag sth people do search about bc this will not be a secret hideout anymore by then oh uh i just realize an unstable therapist sound SUPER concerning... d-dont worry?? I have really good self control, I promise

KK.

Post script KK here because I realized I forgot to add the superstitious part. Maybe it's because I'm so unstable that my suitor from the afterlife is also unstable lol. I couldn't really find an English word for it aside from paranomal romances made by the wattpad users, but basically a ghost decided he would like to have a crush on me. Or what would the term in my native language literally translate to, "afterlife lover/fate". I had suspicions before, but it wasn't confirmed until I told G about this and he said it is 🙈

So the story is: There was a period of time that I dreamt of this man who kept taking me out on dates and hangout/lingering in my dreams. I don't remember my opinion about him back then, but I do vaguely remember being interested in him. I mean, if a mysterious figure suddenly appeared in your dream several times, take you on date, and treat you nice, won't you be curious at least?

Well until he actually invited me back to his home and meet his parents (his mother to be specific).

That was one of the wildest dream I have ever had. It bewildered me so much I still remember it as clear as day till now. His family seems to like me, and decided we should have a marriage on the spot or something. I remember protesting (of course??), but ended up getting trapped in his house, and uh I kinda forgot/woke up after that. But after that day, all I ever dream about is I'm being chased by someone (I'm assuming him or his servants-), always on the run. There were so many failed escape attempts, but I remember the last time uh, I dream of such, I ran away with 3 children that god forbid is mine. After that I stopped the habit of writing/recording my dreams, and don't really remember much anyway.

Well, I assume the mysterious guy gave up or something. But turn out he is still very much here 🙈 I did a tarot reading with Mei (not the OC, my tarot deck. She's 7 this year, yay!!). She also confirmed that, yes, I have a ghost that love me. I asked G for more information after that, but he only gave me the description of the guy's appearance and didn't elaborate further (which lowkey checks out with my dream btw, I don't exactly remember his face). Mei did gave me some descriptions about his personality tho, with them being "possessive" (which will explain the second mark this time in between my thighs that looks awfully similar to a hickey), and a guy of science and/or art. Mhmm, it's not like Mei is not reliable, I'm just not a good tarot reader nor I am a good psychics. Mei did tell me more, but I'm sucks so.

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