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#im just sitting here homesick at 2am
grendel-menz · 9 months
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crying in my room rn actually .
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lgbtyrus · 5 years
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Two Exes on Mars
A Tyrus fic where they’re aged up + broken up :) It will have a ‘happily ever after’, I promise. Note: IDK if you know your Andi Mack lore, but just in case, Shadyside is in a fictional US state called Midwest.
Part 1/? (I’m thinking 3 or 4)
Words: 2,668
He kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t even rainy or cloudy outside, much less foggy. It was super bright and sunny, and Cyrus could hear every single bird in Shadyside chirping as his now ex-boyfriend walked out the front door of his house. He waited until TJ was out of his driveway to shut the door and break out in tears, pressing his forehead and fist against his door.
Why? he wondered. Why? Why? Why?
But he knew why. He knew why TJ had let him go in the worst breakup in the world. He had tried to a week ago which led to Cyrus breaking down in front of him and ended up with them back together. But the tension between them was so obviously, and it lead to TJ’s horrible mood swings and random outbursts he never apologized for. It made Cyrus feel like crap. Then in the middle of the week, TJ tried breaking up with him over text. Cyrus ignored it, and TJ went over to his house the next day like nothing had happened. Not even three days later, TJ came over to break up him a third time. For good.
That just happened two minutes ago, and Cyrus silently let him leave this time. He shouldn’t have ever let him see him cry.
“You have to go to California, Cyrus,” TJ had told him, his eyes red and his hands clenching into tight fists. All Cyrus could do was stare at the floor. It’s not everyday you get a chance to go to USC, but it also meant leaving everyone you loved behind- including TJ. Him and TJ had been together since the 8th grade, and he had included TJ in all of his future plans. For him, being in a long distance relationship was a possibility, and he never thought TJ would be against it.
“I want to go to MSU,” Cyrus shook his head, refusing to look at him. TJ was going to MSU on a basketball scholarship, and yeah, they had a theatre and screenwriting, but it wasn’t USC. It was one of the hardest choices Cyrus had to make.
“You’re clearly lying, Cyrus,” TJ let out a frustrated sigh, “I know when you’re lying.” It’s true, he did. His hands always instinctively went inside a pocket, and Cyrus has never been able to stop it. “Cyrus. I know I’m the main reason why you want to stay in Midwest, but I want you to go to USC. It’s what you want.”
“Does that mean we have to break up, though?” Cyrus asked him sadly, his voice quiet. TJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair and let out a deep breath.
“We’d be doing long distance for four years, Cyrus. I don’t want to hold you back from being at your prime if you’re moping around missing me the entire time.”
“Are you just saying this because you’re the one that’s not going to be fine?” There wasn’t even a pause.
“Yes, Cyrus!” TJ said loudly, startling Cyrus. “I can’t spend four years of my life being sad because I miss you all the time, but I also can’t live with the guilt I’m going to feel if you don’t go to USC. This entire situation is driving me insane, and I really think breaking up is the best way to go.”
“You honestly think that?” Cyrus frowned, looking right up at him. He didn’t want to break down like he did the first time. “You’re just giving up? Not even giving long distance a try. After five years, TJ?”
TJ shamefully looked away before saying, “I love you, Cyrus. But I think it’d hurt less to let you go.”
“How?” Cyrus’ voice started to tremble as he spoke in complete disbelief, “How can you even say you love me right now?” TJ didn’t say anything. He just slowly walking up to Cyrus, each step taking its own time before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.
TJ pulled away, whispering, “Bye, Cyrus.”
Cyrus was now sitting on his bedroom floor, playing music louder than his occasional sob. Andi and Buffy were on their way, but until then, it was him, and a lone polaroid picture he had of him and TJ on their first Valentine’s Day together right in front of him. Him and TJ were sitting on one side of the booth at The Spoon while Marty and Buffy sat on the other side. TJ had his arms around him and was smiling in to his cheek, leaving a very fluttered Cyrus to be captured forever.
“Cyrus!” someone yelled out from downstairs. “We’re here.”
“Upstairs!” Cyrus yelled out, his voice slightly cracking. He hadn’t spoken since TJ left, and his throat hurt. He was glad he left the door unlocked for them because he didn’t have the energy to move.
Andi peaked her head through his bedroom door, frowning when she saw him, “Hi, Cyrus.”
“Hey,” Cyrus waved, “come in.” He hadn’t seen Andi in about three weeks was she was getting busy with her senior art project for SAVA. He loved her for being here during a busy time. Buffy trailed in behind Andi with two loaded grocery bags.
“We brought ice cream and pie,” Buffy held the bags up. “We stopped by your kitchen to get utensils.”
“Thank you because I was not going to move,” Cyrus said. Andi and Buffy sat down on each side of him and rested their heads on his shoulder.
“You can cry if you want,” Andi told him.
“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “we bought three tissue boxes.”
“I’ve been crying for like an hour, and I’m just tired of it at this point. But this is also probably just the start,” Cyrus mumbled. “How am I supposed to accept that someone I talked to everyday for five years is leaving my life?”
“I know it hurts, Cyrus,” Buffy whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. Trust me. I’m always right.”
“I know you are,” Cyrus smiled slightly. “You know what sucks the most though?”
“What?” they asked in unison.
“We already have matching tuxedos from prom.” -
Cyrus and TJ showed up with new tuxedos to prom. Andi herself made Cyrus a brand new one. The according to different sources, both Cyrus and TJ had both begged Gus to cancel their Prom Court nomination. Gus thought it was funny until Buffy stepped in, and he got scared.
Cyrus and TJ didn’t sit together at lunch anymore or do homework together or visit the swing sets every Tuesday after TJ got out of tutoring. Cyrus submitted his paperwork to attend USC in the fall and according to Amber who was at Shadyside’s community college, TJ was going to go to MSU to play for their basketball team. Buffy and Marty would be seeing him at MSU seeing they got track scholarships.
Cyrus cried every night for the rest of the school year after finishing his homework because he worked to hard to have his GPA suffer over a boy who clearly didn’t care if he fell apart. He sometimes sat in the bathtub and let music fill his whole bathroom and no matter what, every single song would remind him of TJ. Of course, that was his fault for playing the playlists TJ had made him on Spotify. He wondered if he could see that he was listening to them. He hoped he did.
Cyrus didn’t have any communication with TJ since the last texts he sent him. It was a 2AM on a Saturday night, about three weeks since the breakup. He felt horrible and didn’t know how to stop crying. Even though Buffy had told him to call him whenever, he couldn’t keep dumping everything on her.
Cyrus: hey tj I hope im not waking u up idk if you still have your phone set so that u only get text alerts from me but I just wanted to say that I miss you.
Cyrus: I miss you so much tj idk what to do without you. Everything hurts all the time and I just want to talk to you and hear you voice even if we cant date anymore please talk to me. Please be my friend again tj we were best friends for 5 years we work so good together
Cyrus: I love you. I think that ill always be in love with you.
TJ: Goodnight Underdog.
Cyrus didn’t remember what time he went to sleep, but he felt like he cried for hours after that. The pain in his chest beat him up completely until he was too weak to flip his pillow to the dry side.
At their graduation, Cyrus gave a speech and then walked off stage to everyone in the auditorium clapping. It felt surreal. When he looked up smiling, out of all of the people he saw in the sea of graduates, he saw TJ clapping. He had his lip curled up in one corner which showed that he was on the verge of tears. That was the only time that night Cyrus wanted to cry.
-
A month into USC and without a doubt, Cyrus was homesick and probably depressed. He had made a great group of friends that were similar to him and super positive. He appreciated them, but 8 out of 10 times, they could never convince him to leave his room. He just stayed in and did homework and work on his script. It was about a man who gets his heart shattered and decided to move to Mars as part of a science experiment and when he’s already in space, he realize that his ex is one of the 100 people on board. Things quickly escalate. His friends loved the scripts and always asked to read updates, but he still sent snippets to Bex because he missed her.
It had been months since the breakup with TJ that happened late April. He should be over it now, he thought a lot of the time. But it still hurt. TJ really shot a hole in his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t cry everyday like he used to. But every other few weeks, he snuck into the bathroom to cry so his roommate wouldn’t see. It was embarrassing to admit.
Cyrus kept things in a rotation. Script, class, eat, homework, sometimes friends, and sleep. It was hard to stay happy and to enjoy himself. It was hard to feel like he was living through something when he’s been dead inside for months. With Halloween coming up, he felt even worse. He’s never not had anyone to match costumes with. For five years, him and TJ did a couple’s costume and before that, him, Buffy, and Andi always had something up their sleeves. He missed all of them.
Then one day, his roommate let one of his friends into their dorm room. His roommate was part of his friend group, so there was that. Cyrus was working on his infamous script and didn’t even get a text that he was coming. Usually, he said no, though. “Hey, Rich,” Cyrus said as he walked in.
“Hey, Cy,” he said. “I was in the building and wanted to drop by.”
“Why’d you text Karson and not me?” Cyrus asked.  
“You always say no.”
“True. Anyways, what’s up?”
“We need one more person for our Halloween costume. It’s Full House. We need an Uncle Jesse. You in?”
“Yeah,” Cyrus grinned, “of course.”
-
“Damn,” his friend Bogie said. “That TJ foo fucked you up bad, huh?” All eight of them were sitting around a bonfire before Thanksgiving break. It had been a long night of confessions and telling each other things not a lot of other people knew. Somehow in the moment, Cyrus spent thirty minutes telling them the becoming and downfall of him and TJ. Rich had convinced him to go to therapy on campus early November, and Cyrus wished he had gone sooner. It was getting so much easier to be around his friends and have open conversations.
“Yeah,” Cyrus admitted. “I cried everyday for months. I still cry sometimes.”
“Is that why you spend forever in the bathroom?” Karson asked him. Cyrus nodded.
“Damn, Cy,” Roxana mumbled, “no wonder you were so distant at the beginning of the school year. I thought you were just stuck up, but I guess I was wrong. I’m glad you trust us now, though.”
“Me, too,” Cyrus said.
“So, this TJ,” Bogie asked, “what’s he up to?”
“Besides knowing that he plays basketball for Midwest State U, I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since I last texted him after the breakup. I’m still good friends with his sister, but she never says anything.”
“Dang, so he’s a baller?” Bogie asked.
“Probably just getting fucked up at parties,” Mikhenna suggested. Cyrus didn’t respond. He just shrugged.
“Do you still love him?” Roxana asked him.
“I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head. “I’d be stupid to. But thanks for listening, guys. I feel a lot better. I feel like I belong and that I can finally move on.”
-
Cyrus didn’t see the point of flying all the way back home for a week long break, so he decided to stay behind in California and take a train to his aunt and uncle’s place. They had a daughter that thirteen and always had juicy middle school drama.
When he was laying down on the bed of the guest room, his phone started vibrating. Buffy was on Facetime, and he answered immediately saying, “Hey, Buff.”
“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy grinned widely before switching the camera, “look who’s with me!”
Andi waved at the camera, “Hey, Cyrus!”
“Andi,” Cyrus grinned. “How are you? We haven’t talked in like four days.”
“I know right,” Andi laughed. “I’m fine. What about you?”
“I’m good, I’m good,” he said before registering completely that Andi was in Shadyside. “Wait,” he paused, “aren’t you supposed to be in Pennsylvania?”
“Yeah but a professor died, so they gave us two weeks off instead of three days and just postponed winter break.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“I have no idea who he is,” Andi shrugged. “But where are you?”
“With my dad’s sister and her family. I’m just chilling and eating home made food before I go back,” Cyrus smiled. Andi moved over to sit next to Buffy and Cyrus noted that they were at the Mack’s place.
“So enough of that,” Buffy said and then looked at Andi who gave her a stern look. “Come on, let me tell him.”
“Well now you have to tell him,” Andi rolled his eyes.
“That’s very true,” Cyrus agreed.
“I know,” Buffy smirked. “That’s why I said that. Anyways,” she looked right at the camera, “we went to the mall with Amber in her car, but it broke down in the parking lot when we were leaving. She had to call TJ to come pick us up, which was already awkward enough because I always ignore him at school, but I was like whatever, it’s a twenty minute drive. Then in the car, literally, this man, I mean, boy, can ask any question. Any question in the world. Preferably, one directed at his sister, like you know, has your car been acting funky for a while? But he asks me and Andi, ‘How is Cyrus doing?’” Cyrus’ heart dropped. He hasn’t heard anything about TJ in so long he’s forgotten how to react.
“What did you say?” Cyrus asked nervously.
“I said that I charge $50 per fact,” Buffy said, “and he didn’t say anything else.”
“That’s weird,” Cyrus frowned. “I wonder why he doesn’t just ask Amber. I literally call her once a week, every Tuesday.”
“No idea,” Buffy said. “But maybe she just doesn’t answer him for the same reasons I didn’t.”
“Which are?”
“We love you.”
-
anyways follow my main @webarebares <3 thank you for reading! feel free to send asks if something was confusing or if a typo was horrible or just because. i luv u.
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organictaeyong · 7 years
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boyfriend!yixing
FORGETFUL
will literally forget everything and anything
speaks Chinese all the time when he comes in because hes tired and not thinking
and you’re like ????? I don’t speak Chinese
and he’s shook because he didn’t even realise he’d slipped into it
even though he’s maybe the most forgetful person in the world he never forgets important dates
your birthday, anniversaries you didn’t even know you should be celebrating
he never misses them
always wants to do couple things with you
couples cooking !!
which really means he hands you things and drinks wine
and you make sure he stays far away from the rice
even though he insists he knows how a rice cooker works now
he just really thinks it’s important you sit together and eat with each other no distractions
couples workout !!
which really consists of you drinking the protein shake you made and watching him do push ups
he wants to make sure you share everything like your hobbies
so he takes you dancing with him
he loves trying to teach you his dances
and you always wanna know they newest exo choreo tbh
you die a little every time though because its S O HAR D
and youre not a good dancer
but yixing is always patient with you trying to teach you as best he can
and he insists on sharing your hobbies with you
he always makes time to share yours
and he’s always got some crazy new hobby to try together
y’all have done everything
synchronised swimming
bird watching
anything you can literally think of tbh
literally just loves spending time with you
tries to teach you guitar and you sort of suck
but he just thinks its so adorable you’re trying
he usually puts you in his lap and guides your hands
but you actually started to get really good
and he’d always catch you playing his
so he buys you a guitar for your birthday
and you guys always have impromptu jam sessions
also tries to teach you Chinese which you are also really bad at
but you try and you leave him little notes written carefully in Chinese
he keeps every single one
loves solving puzzles with you
he finds it really therapeutic
you get all the answers wrong but y’all have fun doing them
once he brought home a jigsaw puzzle of the globe
y’all spent daysssssss trying to solve it and you leave it half solved and the next morning it’s complete and you’re like ???????
and kyungsoo’s like lmao took me 45 minutes whats up with you two??
hes always up at like 5am so you pack him a lunch box and leave him a little note on the bathroom mirror with dry erase markers
and when he gets up he always erases it and leaves you a sweet little note
he loves talking to you and telling you about everything
whenever he gets homesick he just lies down with you
and tells you everything about china
and what he wants to show you
and makes a bunch of plans of where to bring you when you finally come visit
you’d been going out for years when you finally had your greatest test
you asked him to help you when you moved
and of course like the sweetheart he is he did
he spent like a week with you
painting the rooms
(which always ended with a paint fight)
assembling the furniture with you
you guys spent like an entire day trying to assemble your bed
you hadn’t slept the night before
and being as clumsy as you are you knocked over like everything else in the room
and you spent the whole night mad at inanimate objects
but y’all never got mad at each other
and that’s when you realised he was the one
because you were both tired, way too warm and angry as hell but you never snapped at each other
you guys never really had a fight until he came home too late one too many nights
you didn’t mind because it was his job and he just wanted to prepare for his solo as best as he could
to make everyone proud
but he had been home past 4 or 5am every night this month
if he even came home
and you saw him once in the last two weeks
and you were getting a little bit more than upset
even though it felt unreasonable
nd you told him you were getting kind of lonely by yourself and you missed spending time together
and he was like omg because he didn’t even realise really that he was upsetting you
so he promised to be home by 9pm and you could have dinner together and just spend time together
and then it was 2am and he still wasn’t home
and it all got too much for you and you just started crying
he came in and your eyes were all swollen and you were just sitting on the floor drinking some wine
and he’s like ????? what happened why r u crying?
and you’re like omg amazing!!! You’re late and you didn’t even remember!! Love this !! im going to bed!! Thanks for wasting my entire night!!
nd then he’s like no NO NO NO IM SO SORRY I FORGOT
nd you want to be mad at him but you cant because he didn’t mean to
nd you just breakdown and start sobbing and he runs to you
he’s cuddling you and stroking your hair and apologising
because he didn’t mean to and you know it and he doesn’t know how to fix it
nd eventually you fall asleep because you’re so tired
when you wake up yixing isn’t there
and you almost cry again until your door opens
and yixing comes in with water and some painkillers
in case you have a headache
and then he asks If you want to go out for breakfast or cook some
and you cry all over again because he is so sweet
always thinks of everyone but himself
so you always gotta remind him to look after himself
hugs hugs hugs
always hugging you
bear hugs
back hugs
side hugs
surprise hugs
hugs hug HU G S Hu GS
just loves to shower you in affection
like always kissing your cheek
or shooting you winks
nd you think its lame but that makes it all the more adorable to you
always cuddling you
sometimes he comes In late and sees you curled up on the couch asleep waiting for him
he just grabs a blanket and curls around you
nd you wake up and youre like ??? but you fall back asleep because he’s so warm and he’s home and you can relax
you get really lonely when he’s away
so he bought u bear to cuddle while he’s away
nd you do because it smells like him
nd he doesn’t feel so far away when you have the bear
really nice couple bracelets
the thing is you guys didn’t get them for each other
Suho got them for you
after a year
he says it a blessing so you will have a long happy relationship
since then you haven’t taken them off
lots and lots os skype calls when he’s away
if he’s gonna be somewhere for a while you actually send him letters
nd he loves every single one
it’s always such a nice surprise for him
nd he thinks its so precious you take the time to write to him
loves taking walks with you
especially in spring by the cherry blossoms
nd he’s just strolling through the park with you holding your hand when he casually says something like
“I think id like to have our wedding here”
nd you just choke on the coffee you’re drinking
because ?????????? marriage ???????????
nd he’s just like omg r u ok what happened should I call a hospital???
nd he doesn’t even realise why you’re having a heart attack
he just adores you so much
pls love him just as much
if not more
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beahina · 7 years
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Dudeeeeeeeeeeeee do all the even numbers, for that ask game! XD your welcome, i love you!
oH boy ok here:2(Do you have freckles?): nope, but my brother has the prettiest freckles!!4(last song you listened to): the bunny hop because it was playing on the jazz station in the car lol6(relationship status): technically single but it's v confusing lol8(did you wake up cranky?): surprisingly no, even though i slept at 2am and woke up at 9am lmaooo10(zodiac sign): I'm the year of the horse! unless you were talking about the constellation signs (which is also "zodiac" why are they both zodiac??) i'm an Aquarius!12(take a vitamin daily?): usually but i forget 90% of the time14(what books are you reading?): actually i'm only reading one right now and it's Alice through the Looking Glass (i just finished reading Alice in Wonderland)16(favorite anime?): hAIKYUU 18(do you collect anything?): i collect pins and stuff like tickets, stickers, photographs, that i put on my wall! also tons of crap i don't need ALSO STUFFED ANIMALS YEAH20(do you dance in the car?): yes lol it's pretty dorky22(do you watch the olympics?): when they are taking place yes!!! i love the olympics :0 i got to go to the usa training center multiple times for field trips lol, my favorite is the winter olympics because of my old young lived dream of becoming a olympic snowboard competitor haha24(are you wearing makeup right now?): yes but it might have gotten wiped off when i blew my nose and i cry when my allergies r really bad rip26(favorite tumblr blog?): ok no i can't choose sorry i love everyone i follow!!!28(what makes me happy?): ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ im not really in that position to answer this right now lmaoo 30(do you study better with or without music?): with music!! 32(if you were a crayon color, what color would you be?): either a bright yellow (dodie yellow???) or a dark warm brown34(would you swim in the lake or ocean?): HELL YEAHS i mean, i might die so there's a plus (joking, joking) but yeah i live near like 20 different rivers, lakes, bays, and sounds lol36(what color tshirt are you wearing?): earlier i was wearing a white one but now i'm wearing a greyish black sweater38(do you save money or spend it?): spend it lmao no hesitation40(do you have any obsessions right now): i've been obsessing over what dress to wear for the graduation dance. i'm tempted to go in a suit because i already own one and i'll be perceived more masculinely and it's more comfortable but like dRESSES GUYS i want to wear a dress really badly!! (like it's weird i don't like forced femininity but i think i can wear dresses because boys can wear dresses so fucking watch me)42(are you easily influenced by other people?): yeah but in a bad way i'm only influenced by when hey say something bad etc ._.44(do you like going on airplanes?): yes yes yes???46(peanuts or sunflower seeds?): sunflower seeds, in very picky on when where and what to eat peanuts with lol 48(are you a picky eater?): only when it comes to mushrooms onions and seafood. i love stuff like Brussel sprouts and asparagus and tomatoes broccoli etc 50(do you fear thunder / lightning?): no actually i love them!! here was an oncoming storm a few weeks ago and i was waiting by my window for it to start and when it did it was so exciting!!!52(do you like your music loud?): it really depends, i don't like sensory overload 54(put your music on shuffle, what is the first song that came up?): Elenor Rigby by The Beatles56(what are you craving right now?): nothing for once, i'm not that hungry (i just had a slurpee and candy ok fite me)58(coffee or tea?) tea!!60(do you have any homework right now? if so, what is it about?): lmaooo yes i do! i gotta find visuals (print off pictures basically) for a social studies project and memorize some of my presentation script for same class, and my chromatic scale on my tenor saxophone for band which is a week overdue but i'm lazy 62(do you make your bed in the morning?): no it's so hard to make i haven't made it in over like 4 months no joke64(favorite social media?): literally tumblr because that's the only social media i have 66(do you get homesick?): i used to a lot when i moved but now it's really starting to feel like home! but of course i'm always nostalgic for when i was younger.68(what shampoo and conditioner are you using right now?): idfk 70(are bob of your parents still in your life?): yes i live w them lol72(do you miss your ex?): don't have one74(what eye color do you find the sexiest?): brown because it can come in so many colors! my eyes are caramel while my friends are obsidian black and it's pretty that they can all look different!!76(what was the last thing you ate?): cherry slurpee and mini recees peanut butter cups78(would you give a homeless person cpr? why or why not?): i mean probably because i'm cpr certified and i'd like to save their life80(stalked someone on a social network?): not actually stalked but yes i've looked far far down a person's account 82(do you wear rings? if you do, take a picture of them.): i will!! I'll attach it in the next post.84(what are three things you did today?) get flowers for a friend, go to the mall, be exhausted and want to die as usual86(list all of your beauty products right now): face foam wash soap thing, face cleanser, face cream88(list all your video games on your phone, console, etc): lmao let me sit you down:on my phone i have neko atsume, color switch, smashy road, the trail, pokémon go (i haven't played it in months), and deemo (12/10 reccomend v pretty music and sad storyline lol)wiiu: mario bros, luigi bros, mario cart 8 (i rock ass at that), just dance idk what year or version, wii party, probably some other stuff, nintendo switch: 1-2 switch, breath of the wild, some just dance game again lolxbox1: minecraft, destiny, overwatch, ps4: star wars battle front, destinycomputer: sims 4, minecraft my 3ds: pokémon x, pokémon omega ruby, pokémon sun, animal crossing new leaf, mario bros, scribblenauts or whatever lolgame boy: some kid games like dora and stuff, hello kitty party game, fire emblem, pokémon grass (yES I HAVE A GAME BOY and actively use it) it's a lot but it's mostly my brothers and dads lol90(favorite soda drink?): ROOTBEER92(do you wear jeans or sweats more?): jeans are my life i used to be really mad if i couldn't wear jeans when i was younger!! still don't like sweatpants that much lol94(name something that relaxes you): sitting by my open window during night listening to music quietly96(favorite youtuber?): dodie clark!! then tessa violet!!! and a bunch of other people!jfc that was a lot but really fun lol
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