Hey can I say something controversial?

I think you need to remind me that you're raping me sometimes. We can do the whole rigamarole about consent and making sure the restraints aren't too tight. But then. You need to tell me that I'm helpless. You need to tell me that whatever I was until a moment ago, I'm nothing now. I'm your bitch. Your punching bag. Your adorable little victim girl rape meat hole. You're going to knock me up, out, cut me to shreds, make me bleed, make me cry, defile me, and no matter how hard I struggle, or beg you to stop, or scream for help, there's nothing that will stop that from happening.

me n the worstie

people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild

got queerbaited into reading a book by chatgpt. is this rock bottom

ahhhhhh i remember why i dont read comics & books and watch movies as much as I should. Because they make me lose it

so i COULD review my blocking bc we have probably the first full run through tomorrow..... or i could review my music bc that needs a TON of fucking work and just like pray that future me is gonna actually remember to review my blocking during free block or collab instead of rambling about vat7k....

or i could do neither and make a cover of dead princesses go to heaven

guess what im gonna be doing

i am once again writing fanfic on new years eve

.

btw u guys have to promise to not be mad at me for becoming ur turtle mutual. please

will i get in trouble if i make a joke about wanting to hire a hitman (not seriously asking but now i AM a little curious actually LMAO)

Ooohhh no I am way too anxious for my audition tomorrow.

All of my friends are either suicidal or have anorexia or both and I don't know what to do with all of this worry

I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse

and my grandpa had a stroke so that's not great either

CW: unreality/ nudity/ self harm?.

I am genuinely so terrified of the fact that I have to find a job now. I'm trying to think of or look up a job that's suitable for my mentally ill autistic ass and I just. I don't know. Everything either requires some very specific qualifications that I don't have, or seems at best awfully exhausting, at worst literally putting me in danger. And I'm not even exaggerating, I genuinely think that working in retail, for example, could possibly kill me if I was forced to do that job for long enough. I sometimes get overwhelmed to the point of crying when there's too many other customers while I'm shopping, I can't imagine working in an environment like that. I suppose physical jobs could work, I've been to this blueberry plantation twice last week and mentally I was fine, but it was. So tiring. And you don't even make that much money a day, I don't think I could earn enough even if I did work there everyday, not to mention it's only a seasonal job. Right now it's fine for me to go there every now and then, but if I wanted to move out and become independent I'd have to get an actual day job. And that sounds impossible. The only job that sounds good to me is being an artist, it's not too mentally or physically difficult, and it's something I enjoy. But I'd have to get commissions constantly or start a small business or something like that to actually survive. And I'm not saying it's impossible, I know that people can live by being an artist, but it's so hard to get into that field. I wish I could do it but I dont know if it's possible for me. Makes me wanna cry. I hate this I hate that my brain isn't suited for this world and still I have to participate in all that shit that everyone has to do. My brain isn't made for working like that