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youranxiousnerd · 3 years

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Spring Break Thoughts

bc i want to get stuck in an airport and break into first class

spoilers below

EJ DOING THE INTRO

the most...profound intro?

“maybe it’s really about other people” looks at gina

i have jumped on the portwell train

when i first saw they were doing zoom backgrounds i was not on board, but they’ve grown on me carlos’ sucks

miss jenn and the zoom backgrounds

NI NI HEL LO

nini didn’t you get cut?

you know miss jenn they could get together out side of school (at least the kids who are here)

olivia is so pretty

aww carlos called miss jenn his madrina

HA I KNEW IT OF COURSE CARLOS INVITED SEB

seblos tension, ill get to that later

they’re so passive aggressive guys i love it

ASH AND EJ

CASWELL COUSINS YESSS

“You guys are watching like, old, old movies”

“This is why we’re soulmates” the redyln goal has been reached bye

this...this is the only line they get?

miss jenn has obviously not gotten the memo

three weeks and you havent blocked act two

“not it”

of course sebby is the last one to leave

“bye” awww miss jenn

GINA THAT LITTLE GIG YESSSS

just one complement after another ej

AHHHH EJ WITH PAINTED NAILS YESSSSS

he looks so good ej should do it more often

ej fell hard guys

jack in the background doing tik toks i cant

gina and signs

RICKY IN A BLANKET

ugh its lynne

i dont care enough to spell her name right

“just being a burrito here”

bitter ricky, i feel ya

“I’m sorry to hear that’s it over” *smiles*

nini you should have just posted a video

ope empty notebook

awww ej’s insta

gina and jack

thats it

“she changed her name” nina is literally her real name

the leg pull away

ricky and bedding is my new favorite ship besides therapy

“Your boy Jack”

when i first saw the promo for this nini scene i was worried it was gonna be another solo (shes had like 16)

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A RAINBOW HEART

my gay heart is bursting

nina really said “rainbows are awesome” this episode

and the necklace is off

guys i love improv scenes

it was so goood

soooo howie and kourt just get no closure after that killer song last week? no nothing?

BAHAHAHA KOURTNEY BREAKING UP

i love kourtney

sofia is so pretty

okay i dont ship jack and gina but they’re fun together, little chaos demons

THE DUKE SWEATSHIRT AHHHH

“my friends, like, my castmates, they think it sucks what you did on opening night”

good talk, long overdo. nothing is solved by any means but little steps

the therapy line omfg

“HI, CUPCAKE”

“I’ll meet you in the pool” there is an ocean right behind you

“Don’t ask me”

“Ashlyn, Big Red, Miss. Jenn, Carlos”

the way seb’s face just DROPS when he mentions carlos

“Are you guys fighting” big red looked so happy omfg

“That would imply that we’re speaking”

“Who has time to talk when you’re busy posting selfies with random guys in a cabana”

guys i had to pause for five minutes because i was dying

jealous seb... where did you come from?

ALRIGHT IT IS TIME TO TALK ABOUT SEBLOS!!!!

first off, it seems the writers love to make major seblos things happen off screen. examples include there pinning and officially getting together

where... where did all this tension come from? it has been light the past two episodes then bam, everything they say to each other is bitter. since when is seb jealous? the writers have so many other conflicts to talk about and they choose jealous seb? off all thing?!?! im honestly kind of disappointed because there are so many other things to talk about from previous episodes and instead they choose this?!?!?! hopefully this isn’t the only thing that is addressed next week, it cant be. they better talk about the constant “no seb” because its an issue.

moral of the story is i hope the fight next episode isn’t about seb being jealous bc there is so much more to talk about

i am loving passive aggressive seb like i hope that doesn’t go away when their conflict is resolved bc it’s awesome

HERE are my thoughts on the zoom call

okay seb’s line about doing public makes sense with the full episode

everyone on the call is just like “wtf happened to my otp”

EJJJJ

EJJJJ I LOVE YOU

THE BEST EJ SCENE

“Hi Nini!” ejjjj

you have to watch the scene twice, one to watch nini and ashlyn and another for ej

EJ AND THE PUPPET THATS IT IM DONE

sassy gina i love her

guys i just love everybody

ASHLYN AND NINI I MISSED THIS DUO GAHHHHHH THEY’RE ADORABLE

ej is a child i love it

ricky i feel you with the songwriting

look at big red being best friend of the year now give him a plot line

i am under the impression jack recorded gina

SHIT THE CANDLE TO LAMP TRANSITION YESSSSS

i love transitions and that was it

matt is ripped

julia lester showed up this season. queen shit

she is perfect

YES BIG RED AND KOURTNEY DANCING I WANT MOREEEE

i am so confused with seb’s gloves

that has been bugging me for two days

carlos has more style then a hawaiian shirt and khakis

im in heaven the harmonies are soooo good

they are amazing they sound so good

you can hear all there voices

julia popped off

aint seen nothin is really good, i wasn’t sure about it at first but its grown. they sound so damn good the talent they hold. not the best song but its fun

the video actually looks better than i thought it would

“Wow” me too richard

jack is fun, i’d be okay if he comes back. he is a little chaos demon.

i like how the writers didn’t make them romantic (for once), hopefully gina got his number bc i would

i want to be stuck at an airport with jack

“let you go” is genius. so far the best original song this season. josh has been killing it lately. this is the ballad ricky deserves. lyrical genius. he sounds sooo good.

the one time i agree with lynne

EJ YOU CAMEEEEEE

OMFG THEY’RE ADORABLE

PORTWELLLLLLL BABY WHOOOP

HE IS GONNA TREAT YOU SO GOOD GINA

HE BROUGHT YOU FOOD AND TOOK YOUR BAG

GAHHHHHH

nOoOoOoOo thats it?!?! i cannot wait a week i refuse

i normally don’t talk about promos but episode 10 (im a sucker for sleepover episodes) is my most anticipated episode so we gonna do it.

for starters ricky has a guitar, so he might sing?

AWW THE SETS THEY ARE SO PRETTY

ooo lily is back?

blueprint?

ashlyn and ricky where have you been?!?!

seb and the girls yesss

since in a heartbeat is next episode seb probably leaves? i hope it is a private moment

oh please talk about your other issues pleaseee

“why did i never hear about this?” nina no, it was an accident alright?

gina and nini haven’t interacted this season and the first thing they do is fight.

lets hope there “beef” doesn’t take the a slot

maybe another seblos kiss?

did you know i love seblos

i have stocked up my tears for next week

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suresha · 2 years

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I am finally awake, but at what cost? Bleh, I need to run a whole lot of errands before I settle down here to figure out what I want to do first. I also need to grab some lunch. Hope everyone's having a good morning so far. Ill probably post another shipping / plotting and starter call later.

#x. ooc post

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ofruins · 4 years

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CREDITS

my icon border was commissioned from venuscommissions ! ( UPDATE: AS OF JANUARY 2020, THE ICON BORDER I’M USING COMES FROM ARTEMISPSDS BECAUSE MY REGULAR COMPUTER IS IN THE SHOP, AND, THEREFORE, I DON’T HAVE MY NORMAL RESOURCES. )

unless otherwise stated, the psds i use come from either venuscommissons or plutocommissons; the answered ask / headcanon / meta banner i use comes from interstellarresource; the template i use for my mobile header and page headers comes from bleuberrymilk; the template for my permanent starter call / character headers is part of template pack four by daria-morgendorffers; the credit for the blog theme i’m using is in the bottom right hand corner of the blog; and, finally, i will always credit the maker of my promo templates on the posts.

FOLLOWING

i’m a highly selective follower. i like my dash to be clean and uncluttered, so if i don’t follow you back right away or at all, please don’t take any offense. i also do not follow back personal / non - rp blogs. if i do follow you, however, whether i follow you first or you follow me first, it’s because i want to write with you !

SHIPPPING

i’m the world’s biggest multishipper. i ship almost everything. whether it’s canon, or crossover, or canon x oc, you can bet that i ship it. however, while i’m willing to try out almost any ship with anyone, there has to be chemistry to keep me interested. and not just chemistry between the characters, but chemistry between us, as writers, as well. it’s hard to ship with someone who your writing doesn’t flow with.

INTERACTING

i am mutuals only when it comes to roleplaying, but anyone is welcome to send me a meme. if i don’t follow you back, but you still would like to interact with me, then send me memes ! if we develop a relationship between our characters through ask prompts, then the chance of me following you back goes way up. and, sometimes, i haven’t followed back because i’m a little spacey and didn’t even notice you started following me, so sending in a meme is a great way to give me a little nudge. also, i’m willing to write one - liners to novella and anything in between. the more you give me to work with, the longer my replies will get. as far as formatting goes, i write < small >< sub > with some bolding and italic here and there, nothing too special. if you have a hard time seeing the < small >< sub > text, please let me know and i’ll change to whatever you’re most comfortable with !

p.s. if you’re wondering whether or not it’s okay to write a pre established relationship between our characters, the answer is yes. as long as we’re mutuals. i tend to prefer pre established relationships because it gets the awkwardness of first meetings out of the way. and we can always go back and write how our characters met at any time once we’ve developed their relationship more.

MEMES

speaking of memes, i love them ! send them all ! if i don’t answer right away, though, don’t worry. i like to hoard memes like a dragon hoards gold. i promise that i will get to your meme as soon as the inspiration strikes. this goes for replies as well, but i don’t force myself to write something if the muse just isn’t there. i’ll just tuck it in my drafts for later and respond to it when i do have the muse for it. if you’re wondering if i got a certain meme, feel free to ask. also, if you’d like to turn a meme into a thread, please go ahead ! i find it’s the easiest and most stress free way to start interacting, so i love it when you do this.

i don't practice reblog karma and i don't mind you reblogging memes from me. so, you have my permission to reblog as many memes as you'd like from my blog. however, it would be nice to be sent one or two if you're going to reblog a lot because then it makes me feel like all i'm good for is a meme source. just be considerate is all i ask !

NSFW & TRIGGERS

i am almost twenty five years old, nsfw will appear on this blog. this includes: smut, death, gore, and any manner of disturbing scenes. i have exactly one trigger ( needles — please tag them or i’ll have to unfollow ! ) so i’m up for writing almost anything. i used to be shy and bashful when it came to writing smut, but now i’m kind of like /shrugs ! so, if you want to send in a smutty meme, go ahead*. just as long as we’re mutuals, i’m up for writing smutty scenes with you. but i also double and triple check your rules to see how comfortable you are when it comes to smut, and then i take that into consideration before i respond to a nsfw meme because i want you to be happy and comfortable. also, when it comes to triggers, i tag anything i can think of with “__ tw” but if there’s something i haven’t tagged properly, or something you would like me to start tagging, please let me know so i can do so.

*it's important to know that m/m smut if off limits for me. i'm just not comfortable writing it yet, so while i will write m/m ships of all sorts, smut isn't going to happen for them.

PLOTTING

i’ll be straight forward and honest, i prefer free styling things to plotting them out, but this doesn’t mean i won’t plot. every now and then, i’ll reblog plotting calls, but you don’t have to wait for one of those to plot with me ! if you have an idea for a plot, or would like to brainstorm a plot with me, come at me. but keep my shyness / anxiety in mind. i'll tell you about my anxiety surrounding ims in a bit.

OFF LIMITS

this should go without saying, but don't godmode. i don't have any "banned" faceclaims, but i'm less likely to take your character seriously if your fc is a musician or someone from youtube / a reality show. i know i shouldn't, but i, like all people, can be shallow and judgy at times. but, overall, there isn't much i won't write or allow except for mpreg. it seriously creeps me out. if you want our m/m ship to start a family, i'd probably love that ! but they'll do it through a surrogate or adoption or a magical baby appearing on their doorstep.

OUT OF CHARACTER

hi, my name is jordan. i identify as female and use she / her pronouns.

it’s important to note that i suffer from extreme shyness, as well as a handful of mental illnesses ( bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety ) so it can be hard for me to interact with people ooc. plotting, for example, can be a real challenge for me. ims terrify me; they make my anxiety jump through the roof. sometimes, i can be im'ing with a person and be absolutely fine, and then for no apparent reason, my anxiety takes hold and i can’t bring myself to open the ims. this can last for a few days at a time. please, don’t think i’m ignoring you if i haven’t responding to your im in a day or two. it’s not you, i promise !

if you need to reach me right away for any reason, please go through the ask box. the reason it’s easier for me to respond through the ask over ims is because i can see a preview of what you’ve said in the ask on my dashboard, whereas i have no idea what you’ve said through the ims. i know, it sounds dumb and ridiculous, but that’s just how my brain works.

now, thank you for reading all of this and i’d love to be friends !

#updated.#i revamped my guidelines so i thought i'd post them

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altonadventures · 6 years

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ALTON ADVENTURES BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

So...because its Friday and I usually update AA on Fridays, I figured it was time to make my big announcement!

And that is...that Alton Adventures is changing. A little bit.

Am I rebooted the comic again? No haha! Once I get back to it it shall continue as normal but some characters may look a bit different going forward.

Who may those characters be?

Sir Gareth Nemesis

Why is he changing?

Sir Nemesis’ change is actually less drastic than one may think. For starters, he needed a design rehaul. I wanted his armor to be more simple, easier to draw but with still details that could tie him to Nemesis (the green eye, the arms, the light pink details instead of inconsistent tentacles). I also had an issue where his hair was too close to his skin color, so to combat this I turned him into a ginger! His eye color also changed from gold to green, another thing to visually tie him more to Nemesis.

So yes, I changed Sir Nem’s design because I was unhappy with it. His armor was never drawn consistently ever, I was constantly changing the tone of his hair and his skin so that was inconsistent. I want my designs to be more consistent and polished going forward.

What else is different? Well, you can probably tell he looks much more serious, like in older pictures I drew of him. Why is that? Well, I was kind of..honestly tired of his role as the “dad character tm” that he kind of turned out to be. It almost undermined his true characterization and turned him into a typical over the top exaggerated hero character. And I started to realize how much I missed his original concept. A battle hardened solider that was filled with regret and remorse, who heavily sympathizes with the plight of the alien he’s locked in combat with. He’s still much a father however, as he has a biological son and adopts an alien who mimics his likeness (hence another reason he’s a ginger now as his Nemesis daughter always was one). He’s just returned to his roots as a character. Because I felt that characterization was a unique one for the Nemesis ride. And it was an idea I really loved. Sir Nemesis actually WAS one of my favorite characters...I wanted his role to be much larger than it is in the comics. I don’t blame anyone for him becoming a joke, I did initially kind of fuel the fire for it, I’m just hoping that its not to late to get back to the Sir Nemesis I originally wanted to write. And of course, all my characters are still meme and joke worthy. I just want to tackle much more serious issues with my comic and show the more serious side of some of my characters and don’t want there entire existence to be a joke Mr.S can’t have too many folks 1 uping him in the laughs department! I guess to note with this change that his original voice claim has also been solidified as well. It’s a more somber and serious tone that I feel fits him as a character.

Final Notes

Sir Nemesis is a character that I have a lot of thought put into. His backstory is tragic, emotional, and his character is complex and he’s not the perfect hero people might image him as. I plan for his Arc to follow the Fireworks arc in the comic, as well as I am planning to start some more text heavy short stories about how the Secret Weapons became Secret Weapons (which I will likely call Secret Weapon Short Stories hehe) and will be writing his first. Also a very important thing i must address. Yes, the eye on his chest moves. (I have a gif but it doesn’t want to work on this post Ill have it up later ><)

Erica Annabelle Cloud

ooof okay this is a huge one. Confession time. Erica was always my least favorite character. Why? She just had...no character. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with her, her design felt phoned in and there because I needed an Air/Galatica character, (yes, she is changing as her Galatica stage too). She was just. not well thought out. She had a dual identity but I think a lot of people didn’t pick up on that? She felt like a Rita 2.0 as just a nice and friendly optimistic person and literally had 0 backstory. Originally she was supposed to have had some sort of accident that turned her into Galatica and she had memory loss and forgotten about when she was Air, yeah it was a mess. That eventually just turned into Nebula Corona being a character she made up (bc her one trait was that she was into space and wrote a lot) that she played as when her rides themeing changed.

She was just..barely a character and her design was abysmal (Her Galatica suit was okay but her Air outfit was an afterthought) She needed a massive visual upgrade. A sleeker flight suit that makes more sense (I used a ref or two for this design!) A different face shape to help her stand out more, my signature they wear glasses they have dot eyes look. Long, wispy, flowing hair to resemble those trails planes make. A bit more lanky and tall. And let me tell you I LOVE her design now. It looks so much more unique and you can just SEE she has so much more character now! As for her characterization im going full into her being a nerd. A very tech nerd at that! She designed her suit to help her fly at her best, and eventually will be the one that designs and builds all her Galatica tech! Her Galatica design hasn’t been done yet, mostly bc I wanted to focus on her current comic canon design, but not much would change I feel with her upgrade anyways! She is effectively the brains of the group, and the others often turn to her for plans of attack when dealing with a situation, or innovative solutions to problems! I have yet to get a voice claim for her, but im sure one will come to me soon enough!

Final Notes

Erica/Nebula was a character I struggled to connect with. Everyone else had Airs that were either super plot important, or just much more cool and creative in general. I felt, that with my Air/Galatica she was just there, and I wanted her to be more. So a full character rehaul was done with her and it makes me so happy. She feels much more fleshed out, better designed, and I’m super excited to do more stuff with her, and hopefully you will all see her much more now that I’m a lot happier with her as a character! <3

Welp that's the end of the updates....wait. Hold on. I have something written here. What could this be? Oh! I remember now!

Black Hole, AkA Beatrix, will be joining the MAIN CAST of Alton Adventures!

When I drew my Black Hole design, I knew she was something special. She stands out compared to a lot of my characters, and her design SCREAMS main character. While the biggest main roles will still be held by Mr. S and Rita, I wanted to add another non SW coaster to the main crew, and because Canonically Corkscrew is MIA, Black Hole seemed like a fitting addition to the main crew! As she isn’t human, a species literally only referred to as Black Holes, I thought making her a main character and giving her a big arc would help flesh out the reality of non humans in Alton Adventures! Her powers and design and character and personality are just too fun to shove her into the background. I feel that adding her to the main cast gives them not only another character to support them, but a closer friend! You will all see her much more in the future for certain!

Well that's about it! In terms of comic updates themselves...its still going to be hiatus as long as I’m being swamped with school work. I hope you all understand. I’ll try to squeeze in updates over the breaks I have IF im not working on assignments for class. As I also said, I wanna do short stories as well, to expand the world and explain it better, as a comic will only develop the world so quickly and lots of you have tons of questions! I also wanna do something animated at some point, that’s my dream. I’ve ALSO mentioned to some people about merch, likely going for making stickers first since that's simple. I got an excited reaction for that so I’ll come up with designs for them soon! I just wanna do a lot with Alton Adventures, because I know how much it means to people, and of course it means so much. Goodness I really need to actually get to this park, I look quiet silly constantly gushing over a themepark I’ve never been to all the time XP That all aside I thank you all for sticking by me. I promise that even if I don’t do comic updates as frequently during the school year, I’ll still work to push out as much AA content I can outside of that! I’m always open to suggestions to what you guys want to see! ALSO, working on a big google doc spreadsheet with info on all the characters I’ll be posting when its more completed! So be on the lookout for that!

Again thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me through this, Your support makes me feel nothing but proud of what I’ve created. These characters may have been created out of something some may consider silly or odd, but the only thing that matters to me if that I can make at least someone happy with what I create.

Patreon (note that patrons got to see all of this content as it was being worked on!) l Ko-fi

#gonna probably post the images all in image posts later #for now have this #alton towers #alton adventures #nemesis #air #i like totally redid forbidden valley didnt i huh #sir gareth nemesis #beatrix #odin miller #mr. s #rita ferraro #erica cloud #esther forest #big update #long post

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tobespecial-a · 6 years

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HIYA FOLKS WELCOME TO MY BLOG HERE. GONNA KEEP THESE AS SIMPLE AS POSSIBLE SO LETS GET TO IT. --- this blog is dash only for now but may change in the near future.

first things first. i am a student in school monday - friday from 1-5pm so expect some slowness on my end. i am studying to be a mental health and addictions worker & am really passionate about the field i am in so i will be obviously prioritizing school & also irl commitments over rp. please respect this & we shall be dandy

now that thats outta the way. HI THERE I AM ES !!!! ( well technically its ESTELLE, but you can call me either or i do not mind !!! ) YOUR LOCAL NON-BINARY GAY ( they / them pls ) who is in fact straight af for a certain gay icon zachary quinto --- i hail from the pst timezone in vancouver canada. fun facts about me. ANYWHO ON WITH THE RULES.

REPLIES

this is not my only blog folks, it will be one of my more active ones, but it is not the only one i run. please be patient in terms of replies. i usually try to stay on top of my game but sometimes i miss shiz. pls poke me after 2 weeks if you are wondering, i may have missed it !! however it is likely in my drafts. PRO TIP THOUGH, i like each reply or starter posted to me, if i didn’t like it there is a 95% chance i did not see it. so please feel free to remind me after the 2 weeks.

also personals do not reblog my threads, ooc posts or anything thats not a reblogged photoset , its annoying, just don’t do it. -- i also have minor case of dyslexia so please be patient with spelling errors. i catch most of them, but sometimes i don’t get them all. if something becomes an issue please tell me.

FOLLOWING AND UNFOLLOWING

i am mutuals only. please keep this in mind. i will only take ooc asks from non mutuals. if i am not at least following you ( cos i know some people who i write with / have written with don’t follow everyone cos they want a clean dash, but they still wanna write ) then please don’t attempt ic interactions. this is your first & final warning. i will ignore attempts & block if it persists.

do not follow & refollow me repeatedly its also annoying & will likely get you blocked. i take a while to follow back sometimes, please be patient. i rarely unfollow so if you see it happen, please poke me. however i have the right to ignore it, or not answer. you have the invitation, i just don’t have to invite you in if i chose to revoke it.

disclaimer i probably will not follow blogs that romantically ship peter/claire. incest normally doesn’t bother me enough to mention it, but this one just really is a big nope for me. sorry in advance.

CHARACTERIZATION

gabriel is based off nbc heroes & my own personal headcanons. at the point of writing this i have seen the first & second season, i am making my way through the rest of the show at present. don’t worry about spoilers though as i pretty much know most of the major plot points for gabriel during the series, just not all the specifics. --- threads will generally take place in aus & content i have seen however, until i have caught up. though idk how big the fandom is so i sense a lot of aus my way any ways lol

*** REGARDING HEROES REBORN

i have no plans to watch it. sylar isn’t even in the show so its really just not required of me to view it. any plot lines transpired in that canon will never be seen in any way on my blog. sylar reforms himself post series & just goes on from there. when i officially make it through the whole show i will write proper headcanons on that.

ACTIVITY

because of school & other blogs i won’t always be around. however i can always be reached by mobile if you need anything, just hmu. thank you for your patience in this regard. also fair warning i do have ADD a low grade form of ADHD so i get a lot of the fun extras that come with it. please respect there are times i may need to step back or times when i become disassociated , its been happening a lot lately so i wanted to inform people so they don’t think i am ignoring them. i promise its not you, its me, i just need space. FOR THE MOST PART, i am usually always around to answer ims & messages so do not be afraid to message me or anything.

SHIPPING

ah yes everyones fave category. if anyone has questions you can always im me or hu my ask box for more deets. GABRIEL IS PANSEXUAL BORDERLINE GRAY ROMANTIC ( hes between demi & gray )

imma start off by saying that i ship syelle as well as petlar. a note about the later, from what i have read & seen i will only really ship them ( petlar ) during / post the wall, which at the time of writing this i still need to view. i would be open to pre show aus to start at this point.

anything else is fair game at this point, just be aware sylar isn’t looking for anything serious really during heroes canon. plus hes not exactly a nice guy so like be warned there. ---- honest to god if your interested in shipping with sylar or gabriel ( yes there is a difference ) pls come @ me. the worst i can do is say no.

i will also state i don’t ship sylaire because well…. shes underage ???? & before you leap down my throat about heroes reborn, most of the content i have seen is her being underage. but i’m not gonna accuse anyone of aging anyone up for a ship, cos there is canon where she is older. i am just not interested. don’t see the appeal, i’ve read way too much meta & just don’t see it.

it is also worth noting that post 3x01 the second coming, sylar can no longer die. he is immortal. save for one weak spot which he aint about to tell anyone where it is.

finally ummmm i’m 22 guys so no lying about your age to smut with me. i will block your ass if you do. don’t make me be the bad guy.

GODMODDING

pls do not god mod my muse. you wanna write him ?? make a blog of your own, or go write some fic. i play three strikes. first time is a reminder, second time is a thread drop third time is a partner all together drop. THESE CAN BE EXERCISED AT MY DISCRETION HOWEVER

also i think its worth mentioning cos some might see this as potential godmodding. sylar is not a nice guy, hes a type of serial killer. he will kill you if it benefits him, or if you piss him off enough. hes not above doing it just to prove a point. he will hurt you if you make angry, might not kill you but he can hurt you if you anger him. so if your muse riles him up enough ?? just be prepared for potential violence, that might follow. --- i will not exercise my muses strength cos you think its funny to have yours poke the hive. -- if you don’t like this, please don’t attempt to write with me. my muse is a villian for most of the show & i won’t be watering him down for you.

OOC VS. IC KNOWLEDGE

at the point i am in the show, the only people who know what sylar looks like are the people that have seen him, furthermore only those who have heard the name know he is even a thing. so its safe to say a lot of normal savillians don’t know him. HELL a lot of the heroes don’t know him either. --- keep this in mind when interacting. if your character has special abilities to know who he is, thats different, but don’t just assume you know who he is or what he does.

FURTHERMORE TO GO OFF A TANGENT i am not gonna be too keen to see a bunch of starters of people begging for their lives. gabriel is a hell of a lot more then just a random serial killer. he is a complex character who has feelings & issues of his own. hes not going to kill just anyone for the sake of it. please bare this in mind. i will likely not reply to those kind of random interactions. --- by all means if you wanna plot something like that i am game for it, but please give me the heads up. i will not reduce my muse to a stereotype killer, cause hes not & thats the tea. he only kills when it benefits him, its not a sport for the hell of it.

TRIGGERING CONTENT

given the nature of my muse there will be some triggering themes on this blog. such as murder, gore, suicide, manipulation. if anyone is bothered by this, please blacklist accordingly. i tag “ insert trigger “ tw. i will not be posting heavy gore on this blog in visuals at least & i ask you tag it if you post it. i’m fine with a bit of blood, but too much makes me a little ill. writing is fine, anything like a photoset with heavy gore needs to be tagged for me, & i myself will not be posting such content.

MAINS & EXCLUSIVES

i will only be doing exclusives for ships & crossover fandoms at this time. if you are interested in being mains lemme know. i do however require previous interaction ic or occ, preferably both. if you wanna be exclusive i ask you return the favour otherwise i drop the exclusivity.

AND I THINK THATS ABOUT IT !! I PROMISE I AM LESS SCARY THEN THESE RULES MAKE ME SEEM, I AM GIANT NERD WHO IS HELLA FRIENDLY & LIKES TO GUSH ABOUT HER FAVES ALWAYS !! MUTUALS MAY ASK FOR DISCORD IF THEY WISH TO TALK THERE

NOW HURRY UP & ATTACK MY INBOX OR IMS OR LIKE A STARTER CALL LETS WRITE !!

#rules !

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yandereshit · 7 years

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(1) I want your opinion on something: do you think that the people who like rika excuse her for what she did to v? And is it because she's a female character? From my pov, it's hard to see it considering that v has a LOT of fans and rika has a LOT of people who want to rip her head off, not to mention that people who either disliked v or liked rika didn't really get a nice treatment from the fandom(a friend of mine was bullied)-

-(2) and with the amount of experience that me (and possibly others) got from many fandoms, if v was the villain, I can assure that he would still garner sympathy and would even be jokingly called daddy. I definitely won’t see him as daddy material but I’ll obviously like him as a villain. Right now? He looks more of a bella swan to me. My theory? It’s cause it’s a romance genre with a male dominated cast directed towards a female audience.

First thingI’d like to say: I do not wish to see hate of any sort under this post. Feel free to stateyour opinions, no matter what they are, as long as they’re still opinions. I’m not anti Vand I will not tolerate hateful behavior towards ANY of the characters.

I think agood starter will be a quote of an ask I saw today on someone’s blog. I will notcomment the answer not reveal the blog’s address as I’d rather avoidany kind of discourse with them. Let me just place this ask here:

“I feel like Rika’s fanclub has doubled in size sincethe new route was released so I’m glad there are still people like you whostill have some fucking common sense.”

Yes. Rika’sfans are undoubtfully treated badly in this fandom. No matter if it’s aboutliking Rika or justifying her actions, surely the amount of hate they get istoxic and overwhelming. It has nothing to do with an exchange of opinions anymore. It’s buillying in it’s clearest form.

I participate in RikaPositivity server on Discord, and it’s probably the best resource in thistopic. So, let me say that: I haven’tseen a single person who’d say what Rika did was good. Despite what somepeople try to push into our mouths, we do realize what she’s done – to V and toSaeran – was bad.

But you can’tjust say the blame is all on her, and let me explain, why.

There’s socalled human act, an Ethics term.There’s a difference between humanaction and human act and here’s a quite good explanatory I found (click on the text for the link to the page):

Human action or human act should be investigated because it is beingconsidered that not all human actions are considered as human act. It isconfusing but it is being determined that the act that was committed must bedone knowingly and willfully by any individual before we can declare thathe/she is accountable for it. In short, an act committed without the knowledgeand consent should not be considered as a human act.

Accordingto the study, only human acts can bejudged as they’re the things we’re responsible for and not everything we do is a human act.

There are various obstacles of human acts, and mental illnesses are one of them. But not only. Lack of knowledge, addictions, accidents, even being, let’s say, sleepy on a particular day – these are things that can naturally make you less responsible for the things you do. (Keep in mind the blame usually can’t be pushed onto anyone else this way; there are things that just don’t depend on us)

Now, returning to V’s and Rika’s case.

Of course it’s only natural to try to get a treatment if you’re aware of your state, but I’ve heard an opinion stating that Rika’s completely at fault for being crazy, as she didn’t get the proper treatment even though V told her to.

So, let me quote a dialogue from SE01, from one of their memories (beginning of 3rd episode):

V: How was therapy? It’s been three weeks already.

Rika: I’m going because you wanted me to… but I don’t know if my state is treatable. The more I talk to the therapist, the more I see the vicious sides of me. I’m so scared…

V: Rika… I’m sure things will get better if you keep talking to her.

Rika: No, I don’t want to go anymore. The therapist just tells me to find peace and overcome my wounds… but the darkness inside of me… can’t be healed that easily. I’m used to being depressed and feeling empty. If I just relax for even a second, my real self… my anxiety will just all come out.”

(…)

V: Just let go… and you’ll feel better.

Rika: I don’t know how to let go. Right now… I want to destroy myself. Don’t you get it?

V: Rika, look at me. You can if you look into my eyes. No matter how you are, I won’t leave you. So don’t worry… and just find peace. It will be better. Tomorrow will be better. I’ll save you…

Rika: You’ll save me?

V: I love you. If you want, I’ll save you.

(…)

V: You can test me until you believe me. Even if you strangle my neck, blind my eyes, and destroy my limbs… I love you. I am your sun.

(…)

V: I love you… If my absolute love can save you, if that’s what you want, that’s what we can do. Rika… So that even I’m the one who hurts you… choose to be mine. I will become a dominating and unfair person for you.

(…)

V: I will be the person you need. (…) You are… already in me.

I showed three important points here. About Rika’s general state, her relationship with V and the way it influenced her.

Rika trusts V. She tries to get a treatment because he told her to. But it’s not helping her. Of course, three weeks is not a long time. Surely not enough to see actual effects. But Rika is already in despair; she doesn’t see any good sides in her situation. She even hurts herself at this point and believes it’s the right thing to do. She’s not a person who’s able to decide on her own anymore. But she trusts V more than anything, and, as this person in despair, decides to listen to him.

Have a look at the important part of this conversation: Rika says she’s scared of ‘relaxing’, as it’d cause her bad side come out. But what V tells her to do is to ‘let go’, as he decides to take this all upon himself. He believes he can deal with whatever happens after.

V tells Rika he’s going to save her. He’s the one who says he’ll become her “sun”. He generally lets her know she doesn’t neet a treatment because he’s enough to deal with it all by himself. And she believes him.

And THIS is the exact moment when it all starts.

I don’t think Rika should be blamed for what she did to V, at least, not to the degree she is blamed for it now.

I will use another example here; a lot of people justify Jumin’s famous bad ending saying that MC was tempting him and generally telling him to treat her like a cat. I personally don’t agree with this excuse, but we have a similar situation here: the difference is that Rika and V are together for a bit LONGER than these… two days of ‘relationship’ (that’s why I don’t think Jumin’s behaviour can be justified, but it’s a completely different matter). And - as we know - Rika is already unstable all this time.

So it’s really hard to say that Rika’s guilty for everything she’s done to V: because, first, the reason why her ‘bad side’ came out is because V told her to ‘let it go’ as he assumed he’d pull it off somehow, and second, he literally tells her to do all these things to him, later on not regretting his choice and still keeping on his opinion that it’s al-fucking-right.

Rika’s state worsens drastically through the whole plot. In V’s route we still have some sight of her original personality; she doesn’t really mean to harm RFA, the way she’s talking to them using the chat is - in my opinion - sincere (of course it can be discussed, but that’s just how I was seeing this). We can’t forget that she really did care for the others, and a good proof is her reaction to Ray’s death on 10th day. She literally breaks down into tears. No matter if the whole cult was strongly related to her way of trying to ‘prove’ herself, it doesn’t mean she didn’t care about these people; even when she realizes it’s over for her, she wants them to escape so that the ‘bad world’ wouldn’t reach them.

In Secret Endings though, her state is so bad she cannot be considered sane anymore. The way she treated Chois is completely different from how she acted in V’s route, which is really meaningful. While playing only Secret Endings, it wasn’t that clear, it may have seemed that she was that bad all along. But Another Story shows the contrast between how she acted in the past, how she acts now, and how she acts in the Secret Endings, and that’s a very important piece of information more of people forget to acknowledge.

And, why people hate Rika so much?

You mentioned it twice, the fact that Rika is a girl and that V is a man which does make a difference. Yes, Mystic Messneger is a romance game ‘destined’ to women, mainly straight women. The plot shows is pretty clearly that women are treated ‘worse’ as they’re potential rivals to MC. Jaehee is a character who’s totally friendzoned, and all the female side characters (except for V’s mother) are mean vipers, in general: Echo Girl, Glam Choi, Sarah. All the female side characters end up as antagonists, unlike, for example, Vanderwood (friendly reminder: he’s a MALE) who gets a way better personality, while these three are… actually quite similar in their reasoning and behaviour, nothing to really focus on.

And eventually, just as a definite majority of MM fans are straight women, the result is that it’s way easier for them to despise other women than men.

Another thing is, a lot of people decides to dislike Rika even before we get any actual info about her behavior, as I suppose, because of how RFA is focused on her from the beginning. Rika is a very important character and just as important RFA member. From the very first day we’re flooded with the mentions of her and especially Yoosung’s behaviour (in and out of his route) obviously doesn’t make us like her more. It’s also one of the rare situations when an important (even though undateable, at least untill 2 months ago) character is in such a close relationship he hasn’t gotten over yet. Rika is the only person that can be considered a rival to MC. In these circumstances it’s really easy to focus only on the reasons to despise her.

This work exactly the opposite way for V. His personality is more soft from the beginning, he gives us that needs-to-be-protected attitude and so, we’re more eager to find excuses for his behaviour even if we see him making mistakes.

To summarize it all, I’d like to say one thing.

Both V and Rika are very well created characters. They have good sides and bad sides. They do good things and bad things, less or more wittingly. But just as I believe Rika deserves more understanding from this fandom, I believe V’s mistakes should be acknowledged AND eventually forgiven.

I think the main problem was Cheritz’ way of presenting the ending of V’s route. I suppose they did it to please the fandom, and the thing they did is - let me say that - a little OOC (I should rot in hell for this statement). I believe in normal circumstances V wouldn’t want to completely cut Rika off like he’s done in his route, but after acknowledging what he unwittingly leaded to, he’d sincerely want to fix it one way or another, as even though he didn’t love her, he did care for her, which is obvious after that many years of a relationship.

Because neither V or Rika are bad people. What they’ve done is a result of either lack of knowledge or their mental state which partly or completely make their actions less of a ‘human act’. And even though their relationship became toxic, they chose each other out of their real feelings, and not a purpose to hurt anyone.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger rika #mystic messenger v #mystic messenger jihyun kim #jihyun kim #rika

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roidespd-blog · 5 years

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Chapter Twenty-Two : LA CAGE AUX FOLLES DOGMA

Dogma : the official system of principles or doctrines of a religion or the positions of a philosopher or philosophical school.

In 1973 at the Théâtre du Palais-Royal, took place the first official performance of La Cage Aux Folles written by Jean Poiret, a vaudeville centering on confusion that ensues when the son of a night club owner and his main star (also a man) brings his female fiancée’s ultraconservative parents for dinner. An incredible success on stage, it went on the run for close to 2,000 performances. Five years later, La Cage Aux Folles was adapted into a movie directed by Edouard Molinaro. You want to talk about phenomenon ? It became the second-highest grossing movie in France that year, with 5,406,614 admissions and is till the 10th highest grossing french movie in the U.S. It was later adapted into a Broadway musical in 1983 with Harvey Fierstein at the helm (see article from June 2nd), and a remake was shot in 1996 directed by the great late Mike Nichols called The Birdcage.

I have to tell you that right now, I hate La Cage Aux Folles. It has little to no qualities in terms of production value and cinematic interest and most of all, it’s probably one of the most offensive movies in the History of cinema for LGBTQ+ people. But it was also a product of its time, enslaved by moral codes and infused by a lack of comprehension that is ours today. That’s what I want to talk about here. Representation. It ain’t pretty. Like Michel-Serrault-in-drag-not pretty.

HISTORICALLY VILE

The first representation of homosexuality in cinema was in 1895’s short silent film The Gay Brothers. We can’t really know for sure because 1. homosexuality was not common knowledge back then 2. Gay didn’t mean Fag in the late 19th century 3. two men dance together while a third plays the fiddle. Conclude for yourself. Anyway, the movie intends to be comical and makes a lot of jokes at the expense of its protagonists. Trend-starter, that one. As movie making was booming, increase awareness and presence of Queer people appeared in that media. Unfortunately, the rise of the Production Code (created in 1922) brought a lot of censorship to the community in its possibility of portrayal. Homosexuality was never explicitly mentioned and only in two ways : as a comical device or a villainous character who’s sickness, perversion and crimes are obvious to the audience. When it came to homosexuals, worldwide viewers had three options to explore : laughter, pity or fear. Early on, the girlish traits of the gay character and the stupidity of its desires were put front and center, whether in westerns (The Soilers) or in Charlie Chaplin movies (Behind the Screen). In historical movie term, the character would be referenced as the SISSY. Answering to the same principles as the whore, the dad or the saint figures, the SISSY had for purpose to give more masculine value to the hero (and to the viewer). But as the butt of the joke and in the constraints of the Production Code, he didn’t have a proper sexuality to act. An innocent childish fool. This convention continued with the talkies in the 20s and 30s as a subject that was partially shown but never discussed.

The few non-judgmental attempts at depicting Queerness were met with furious reactions and indescribable indignation from religious audiences, like when Marlene Dietrich kissed a woman on the lips in Morocco (1930), causing reinforcement of the Code.

For over two decades, scripts would pass through intense censorship and oppression, erasing homosexual overtones in novel adaptions or changing too direct gay references and replacing them with anti-semantic plot lines, more line with the time.

To override the code, directors had to be extremely smart. Alfred Hitchcock, a master of all movie crafts, was the best at this game. In 1948’s Rope, two roommates kill another man to finally know what it feels like, then host a dinner party in their apartment while the body is still there. The movie is fascinating in its “one-shot” concept and the script never mentions the possibility of a sexual relationship between the two but if attentive, you realize that they live in a one-bedroom apartment. Since you’ve spent the entirety of the movie in the living room, you know no one sleeps here. So. They gay. They’re also despicable murderers. Yep. FEAR factor.

I have so many more examples of this but let’s fast forward to the late 50s and the end of the Production Code’s dominance on Hollywood. 1959’s Some Like it Hot depicts two male protagonists pretending to be women who join a musical touring band. Straight people dressed in woman’s clothes. Come on, moviegoers, time to LAUGH. That movie gets a pass because Billy Wilder is a genius.

Then you have Spartacus (1960) and that homo-erotic relationship between the protagonist and its servant. Still underlined as hell but still. Then not much else. Until…

WE GOT FUCKED (AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY)

In the States, The Boys in the Band (1970) shook things for good (and, in a lesser way, The Producers, 1968). A year after the Stonewall Riots, while homosexuality was still considered a mental illness, This play adaptation’s portraying of nine homosexuals (eight, if you’re really delusional) was revolutionary. But some of their characterizations (I’m looking at you, Emory) and the way they tear each other apart as sure-to-be closeted monsters are quite hard to watch. In a way, they are still crazy sissies. Audience, PITY those homosexual fools.

And then, La Cage aux Folles. Although France made some attempts at talking about homosexuality without obeying to the social et moral duties of the era with La Nouvelle Vague (Amitiés Particulières, 1964), it was Molinaro’s popular success that sealed audiences’ views on gay people in this brand new era.

By depicting Zaza (Michel Serrault) in such a flamboyant way, combining homosexuality, drag queens, transvestites and transgender people into one, this movie, with its truly international success, wrote unintentionally a new rulebook about what a homosexual is deemed acceptable on screen. Such rule would be followed for decades to come. Do you now understand the dogma definition at the beginning of the article? I’m a smart cookie, you know.

LA CAGE AUX FOLLES DOGMA

For a gay character to be portrayed in a major motion picture and thus be accepted by audiences, he has to : 1. Be recognizable from the straight characters, as not to confuse the audience. 2. Be funny and over the top, so that the audience don’t take offense to its immorality. 3. Reassure male audiences on their true masculinity with ridiculous ways to act, walk, talk and live. 4. If your movie embraces the gay character’s view at some point, be sure to let him make all the compromises in the world so that the audience knows that HE knows that what he is doing is ‘peculiar’ and ‘wrong’ 5. Make fun OF him as much as possible. And pretend you’re having fun WITH him. PS. Don’t forget, glitter and fun mockery.

Zaza screams his lungs out for nothing and everything. Sorry, “her” lungs out, since SHE only uses the female pronoun to talk about HERself. She performs in a gay cabaret, is clearly depicted as the female counterpart of the relationship (because you need to apply binary concepts no matter what), decides to dress as a woman to meet the conservative in-laws for the first time. Zaza is the new post-gay liberation movement acceptable SISSY. Zaza is also a plague for the movement.

Michel Serrault, as talented of an actor as he was, doomed us for years to come by transposing a fantastic stage character into a movie ready to be assimilated by millions. Media is power. If they say something has to be this or that, the audience will follow, especially in a time when gay people weren’t equals in rights or ready to mingle with the general population. Critics embraced it. It was nominated for three Oscars. Serrault won Best Actor at the Césars. The Golden Globes deemed it the Best Foreign Film of that year. Talk about Media approval. We were fucked.

THE MINORITY AFTERTHOUGHT

The greatest decade in cinema (in my opinion) saw the portrayal of a couple of… interesting gay characters. The Last Picture Show (1971), Cabaret (1972) and its flamboyant Maître des Lieux. Dog Day Afternoon (1975) shocked audiences with a protagonist in a relationship with another man. Unfortunately, that other man is a SISSY who wants to have Reassignment Surgery in no way portrayed in a positive light. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) gave a shitload of screen time to Queer characters, but (SPOILER ALERT) he is an alien from another planet, a freak and the movie became a cult classic with time, it was not a studio film. In television, gay people are nowhere to be found. Homosexuality is barely getting talked about in the news. The Mary Tyler Moore Show has Mary go on a date with a man who turns out to be gay. It’s funny. So wacky. Not much else. I found a couple of shows from the 80s with LGBT plot lines .(Thirtysomething! Thirtysomething!) but the article was already way too long. Make your own damn research !

NOT THAT KIND OF SISSY

To my recollection, the first time a homosexual person was portrayed in a truly positive light was in Jonathan Demme’s Philadelphia. The struggle of a HIV-positive man seeking justice after he was fired. Tom Hanks won his first Oscar. Bruce Springsteen also won for his incredible song “Streets of Philadelphia”. I mean, it was still about pity lots of ways but the humanity in which the character is shown is outstanding. As Hanks puts it “Love is spelled with the same four letters”.

The 90s saw a biggest variety of Queer characters portrayed in american cinema. The Crying Game. Philadelphia. Jeffrey. Showgirls. My Best Friend’s Wedding. To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar. Most of them offensive in terms of clichés (because… written by cis straight folks ? YEP). but a welcome demonstration of our colors.

Australian classic The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) stays a example on how to do proper representation without removing the potential ridiculousness of Queer existence.

At the dawn of the new millennium, independent cinema offered us Boys Don’t Cry (1999), the true story of Brandon Teena, a trans man who tried to live his authentic life and got killed for it. More than putting Hilary Swank on the map (and an Oscar is her hands), it was unique in the sense that the queer protagonist wasn’t a joke, wasn’t scary and did not inspire pity. He was a strong man, a tuff spirit and a model for trans generations to follow.

UNAPOLOGETICALLY QUEER

Boys Don’t Cry was followed by a series of incredible movies and characters not afraid to be as Queer, as proud and as strong as Brandon Teena. Before Night Falls (2000), Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001), The Hours(2002), Mysterious Skin (2004), Breakfast on Pluto (2005), Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005), Transamerica (2005), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Kaboom(2010), Blue is the Warmest Color (2013), Dallas Buyers Club (2013), Pride (2014), The Imitation Game (2014), The Way He Looks (2014), Carol (2014), Tangerine (2015), Moonlight (2016), Call Me By Your Name(2017), A Fantastic Woman (2017), Disobedience (2017), Battle of the Sexes (2017), The Miseducation of Cameron Post (2018), Love, Simon(2018), Rocketman (2019). Even when the gay character is used as a tool for jokes, modern cinema proved that it can be done without making fun of the gay life style, as in Scott Pilgrim vs The World (2010).

They are still mistakes along the way. Bohemian Rhapsody. Oh fucking Bohemian Rhapsody. That movie is an abomination. First (and most importantly here), its depiction of Mercury’s sexuality is of poor-taste, even less when it comes to talk about his HIV/AIDS diagnosis. Then, it was directed by a serial rapist. Finally, it’s just a awful movie which uses nostalgia as a way to convince you that you are watching something great. And IT WON 4 ACADEMY AWARDS ! FUCK. MY. LIFE.

(To all my homies who know me, off course I was going to talk about Bohemian Rhapsody at some point. I’ll take that motherfucking cinematic slap in the face to the grave).

DAWN OF A NEW GAY ?

The question is simple : has visual media abandoned the dogma of La Cage Aux Folles ? Harder answer. Yes and No.

NO, because if movies like Isn’t It Romantic (2019) in which a gay character is (even purposely) can be the protagonist’s cliché best friend still exist, it means that movies are still no over that phase of its education. Also, if someone you barely know still ask you basic offensive questions about your sexuality, it means that we’re definitely still basically fucked. Remember, media is power.

And YES, in a way, this abominable dogma is long gone thanks to TV. I know, right ? Cinema’s little bastard brother which didn’t want to talk about homosexuality in the 70s AND 80s ? One of the first shows to depict homosexuality on a regular basis was HBO’s Oz. Thank you, cable. In between stabbings, sex violence and vicious murders, there was a serious exploration of the male sexuality. Then came the 1998–1999 broadcast television season and its one-two punch. It followed Ellen’s Puppy episode (which we covered in the June 8th article).

On September 21st, 1998, Will & Grace premiered its first episode. And yes, today, we view it as a very narrow view on homosexuality. But think about it in the context of 1998. It’s a show with two of its leads unapologetically openly gay males (and a ageless woman ready to go either way). Each episode of the show was about homosexuality, and some jewish themes thanks to Grace, television’s number one fag hag. And shit, this show was funny until season 6. Like, real funny. Even the lost-in-time reboot has some redeeming qualities. Finally, on February 17, 1999, the character of Jack introduced at the beginning of the second season of Dawson’s Creek, came out as gay. Don’t underestimate the power of teens. If they’re in on it, we all are. They were woke before “woke” was a thing.

That was just the beginning.

Queer as Folk (UK and US) and The L Word became pioneers of the LGBT TV revolution.

The Office’s Oscar Martinez came out in the season three premiere (2006), to limited clichés on its part. Ugly Betty (2006–2010) was the gayest show of the 2010s. By 2009, Glee ignored the window other shows created and busted the door wild open with at least 8 regular Queer characters. That same year, Modern Family introduced us to a very stable gay couple. 2011 saw the rise and consecration (in my mind) of Max Blum on Happy Endings, the ultimate cliché-avoider of the Queer community — so not a cliché that I identify more with his flaws as a man than as a gay man. 2012’s The New Normal failed at gaining the attention it deserved. Partners (2012) failed as well, but it kind of deserved it. Brooklyn Nine Nine did something no one else did before : talk about bisexuality without making a big deal about it. Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Once and Again, Six Feet Under, The Wire, Angels in America, Desperate Housewives, Battlestar Galactica, Grey’s Anatomy, Brothers & Sisters, Skins, Greek, True Blood, The Good Wife, United States of Tara, Shameless, American Horror Story, Please Like Me, Game of Thrones, Girls, Smash, Broad City, Orange is the New Black, Grace and Frankie, The Fosters, Superstore, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Orphan Black, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Transparent, Looking, The Real O’Neals, Friends From College, Sense8, One Day at a Time, This is Us, The OA, Champions, Dear White People, The Handmaid’s Tale, Pose, The Good Fight, Killing Eve, American Crime Story, The Haunting of Hill House, Now Apocalypse, Gentleman Jack, Years and Years.

They all, in small or big ways, contributed to what the situation is today. Something closer to reality, debunked of clichés. It’s a golden age to be Queer on TV.

I’ll say it a third and final time. MEDIA IS POWER. A couple of years ago, I screened my end-of-study movie called Faggot (and Other Semantics) to my schoolmates and a few faculty members. The movie was about a gay dude trying to figure out who he was as a gay man (not a coming out but a coming in story) — it was very well received. At the end of the day, the tech guy who put the movie on signaled me to come and see him. I did. He shook my hand and said ‘I didn’t know I could identify with a gay man but I did”. We’re talking about a straight single kinda annoying thirty year-old man. I wanted to slap him in the face. I kept thinking about what he told me thought. I get it now. A window opened (even for a second) in his mind because a piece of Art took the time to represent someone “different” while using universal tropes. And without making fun of the situation. It was an unwanted validation that I now fully accept. That’s why La Cage Aux Folles is wrong and its dogma can fuck off. Queer people have a voice now in the industry and are able to represent.

Queer people, REPRESENT.

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x0401x · 7 years

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Kai-You Interview: Sidu

As promised, here is the english translation of Sidu’s side of the interview from kai-you.net, which was posted a few days after Jin’s. Warning: since this interview is from two months ago, some date-related infos are off, so I had to adapt them in order for them to make sense in the present time. As always, please message me if you have questions or spot any mistakes. Raw here. Jin’s side here.

Here is Sidu-san, an illustrator and video maker that, together with Jin-san – who handles the music, light novels and comic’s script –, is yet another person to have had a major role in the making of “Kagerou Project” (KagePro), which is celebrating its sixth anniversary this year.

Back in 2011, upon meeting Jin through Twitter after watching the video he had posted on NicoNico Douga, Sidu-san was put in charge of making the character designs and MV for “Kagerou Days”, which triggered a lot of attention from the viewers. Later, she was in charge of handling all of the MVs, illustrating the light novel “Kagerou Daze -in a daze-” and making the character designs for the serialization of the manga “Kagerou Daze”.

(T/N: Some of you are probably finding this part weird, but let me clarify. We all know that not all the PVs and character designs were made by Sidu, but when the interviewer says that she “handled” them, he probably means that Sidu had a role in their making, one way or another, even if they weren’t 100% her work.)

With her video composition that relies heavily on unique patterns and high-speed cut-ins, she has become the main person behind the visual image of “Kagerou Project”. Sidu-san also served as animation director for the first time in the production of the exclusive MX4D™ movie “Kagerou Daze -in a day’s-” that was released in November of last year.

Kagerou Daze -in a day’s- Key Visual

This interview discusses in detail about the backstage of this work and the repercussion that followed its release, as well as the different character images of Mekakushi-dan, the interweaving young main group of “Kagerou Project”. Moreover, it discusses how her moves as a creator that has also been supporting “KagePro” have been proceeding, together with how Jin-san has been receiving so much attention from the media.

Kagerou Daze -in a day’s- Scene Shot 1

──It seems that MX4D “Kagerou Daze -in a day’s-” was a work in which there were arrangements being laid out until the very end.

Sidu: Yes. (Laugh) I was editing the alpha in the studio until the afternoon of the final deadline. Until then, I’d spent the days not being able to tell when it was daytime or nighttime.

(T/N: “Alpha” is a term used by animators as short for “alpha channel”. For anyone interested, there’s a small article on its definition here.)

──What part was the most difficult?

Sidu: I’m in the position of a director that has to look after everything, so though the animation director was always present, there were points I had wanted to modify no matter what, and ultimately, I used the software named “After Effects” to work on the so-called “cinematography” by adding effects all on my own.

──The production was in an apparent harsh situation, huh... For starters, what kind of thoughts pushed you to accept being the director of a MX4D movie?

Sidu: It started with the talk about extending the PV. As in connecting all of the BGM, making it into a single track and creating a video for it. I thought, “If it’s something like that, I can do it. If no one else is willing, I can take it on.” and, as the discussion about it went on, the number of things I was put in charge of increased...

In the beginning, there wasn’t even a script, and I was supposed to just deliver to the studio a storyboard consisting only of drawings, but in the end, I also ended up writing down the script myself. However, writing a script all alone was hard, so I planned out the plot together with the novelist Jinzai Aki-san, whose novel, “Bandou Keiko, Nichijou ni Aki Aki” (Shinchou Bunko nex), was illustrated by me.

Kagerou Daze -in a day’s- Scene Shot 2

──How did you make the story?

Sidu: From what I had heard at first, it was supposed to have a 25/30-minute duration. It’s as much as one episode of an anime series, so I wondered if I could create a linear, coherent story from that, but during the actual process of making it, I figured it’s no good if it can’t even fit into 18 minutes. The original story had a slapstick comedy scene with explanations for first-time viewers to understand everything, but I cut it all off. Action scenes, too, were only left in the bits where they were truly necessary.

──This time’s tale feels like it’s set in a parallel world version of a certain incident that happens in the opening of the main story of “KagePro”.

Sidu: That’s right. “If all of the Mekakushi-dan had been in that scene, what would have happened?” is what I imagined when I wrote the plot. Also, this is a MX4D exclusive movie, so I thought I wanted to use the MX4D effects after all, and for such, it had to be that action-packed setting.

Sidu talks about the characters of “KagePro”.

Kagerou Daze -in a day’s- Scene Shot 3

──When making this work, what where the points you were careful with?

Sidu: The personalities of the characters. If it’s Kano, he protects his comrades from the shadows, while Kido sneaks about just like him; things like that. Just like this, I started writing about them by reflecting on what kind of posture each character would take, based off their personalities.

──When you say you were careful with the characters’ personalities, does it mean the images of the characters grew within you while making “KagePro” together with Jin-san?

Sidu: That’s right. This time, Jin-san had to give undivided attention to the music composition while I had to do the same with the movie, so I wrote the story and characters from my own interpretations. That’s why I think it’s become something different from the character images that Jin-san has.

──What part of Sidu-san’s interpretation of the character’s images is different from Jin-san’s, exactly?

Sidu: For example, Kido. When I read the light novel, I get a feeling that Jin-san views her as a pushy character. But, to me, she has the image of a cool young woman that can pull off the role of a confident man.

──I see. I think this is a valuable opportunity for Sidu-san to talk about the characters, so if you would, I’d like to hear about your impressions of all of them.

Sidu: It doesn’t change much regarding Shintarou. I do think he’s got a creepy side, but he also has the aspect of an older brother.

Momo, too, isn’t that different. Just like the image of the songs, I think she’s a bit of an oddball kind of character. Like she’s an idiot but quick-witted.

But... regarding Marry, I feel that there’s quite a gap.

──How big of a gap?

Sidu: Jin-san’s Marry, putting it simply, gives the impression of a psychopath; of someone that isn’t human. Even so, she’s faint-hearted and has a cute side for being an airhead. But within me, she isn’t so much of a scaredy-cat. Since she’d been living by herself for a long time and managed it somehow, she gives me the image of someone who’s got nerve.

Seto hasn’t had enough appearances at all, so I've got no idea about him. Having him there is fun, yet everything is fine even if he’s not around, so he might feel like a character that could run off somewhere anytime. But to me, Seto isn’t the type that moves foward thinking of himself. Similar to Ayano, he gives off the feeling that he’s holding in something dark.

When listening to “Kagerou Days”, the image that I felt of how Hibiya is aloof but doesn’t hesitate to protect the girl he likes was strong in me. But I think the Hibiya that Jin-san writes about is probably Jin-san himself. He’s an elementary schooler that lives in the countryside and is a little gross. (Laugh) Currently, the Hibiya as I see him is the result of this incompatible combination.

──What about Hiyori?

Sidu: Jin-san’s Hiyori is truly a rigid character, huh. Ah, but I don’t know if that’s his taste. (Laugh) The Hiyori as I see her is also the same as her impression from “Kagerou Days”. Though it feels like she’s always pushing others away, it’s not like she’s a character that thinks too ill of anyone.

Ene... is a base character, but she, as Ene, is clearly the number one mascot character as well. Same for the anime. But in the novel, her real character has a strong influence, so it was hard to find a balance.

Though he’s always grinning, Kano is serious when he has to be. Except, Jin-san’s Kano is feminine and feeble. But within me, he has the image of a cool character that hides his dark past and absolutely can’t be understood by others.

──Lastly, what about Konoha?

Sidu: Regarding Konoha, Jin-san and I might be in different vectors. Jin-san’s Konoha is a coward. If I had to compare, Haruka is the active one. The Konoha as I see him is completely detatched from Haruka and doesn’t have any of Haruka’s courage or fears. Konoha’s actions aren’t a result of him thinking; rather, he seems like a character that reciprocates what is given to him.

──I see. Indeed, after listening to this, it does feel like the movie is filled to the brim with Sidu-san’s interpretations.

Sidu: That’s why it might feel different from the light novel to the viewers.

Kagerou Daze -in a day’s- Scene Shot 4

──Jin-san said in his interview that it was something like an “official anthology”.

Sidu: I think that definition hits close to home.

It started out with the Oekaki Keijiban for “Puyo Puyo”.

(T/N: For those unfamiliar with the term, “Oekaki Keijiban” or “Painter Bulletin Board”, also known as PBB and PBBS, are bulletin boards or forums dedicated to drawing pictures by using a paint program that runs in a web browser. For more info, there’s a detailed article on the subject here. And for anyone wondering, Puyo Puyo is a 90′s video game. It seems to be called “Puyo Pop” in Europe and America.)

──I think I should request a retrospective from the viewpoint of Sidu-san, who has been supporting “KagePro” that celebrates six years now with illustrations and videos, if it’s possible. But before that, when was it that Sidu-san started making art and posting it online?

Sidu: I started from the Oekaki Keijiban for “Puyo Puyo”. During those days, I was just a spectator, and believed people drew digital art using the mouse. Then I found out about the existence of tablet pens. (Laugh) Using them to draw became fun, and the first thing I published after that was the Oekaki Keijiban.

──When was that?

Sidu: The time I was in that Keijiban was at around my second or third year of middle school. Either 2007 or 2008. I’d watch MADs and FLASHs a lot on NicoDou.

(T/N: I’m pretty sure that people who watch AMVs are knowledgeable of these terms, but since they are almost exclusively used by the Japanese and were created by them, here we go again. To put it simply, MAD is the Japanese initials for AMV. The letters stand for “music anime douga”, meaning “music anime video”. But, unlike the western fanvideos, they’re mostly mash-ups with lots of effects and heavy editing, so generally leave a more intense impression. The term can also be used to describe the Japanese underground media community. Meanwhile, FLASHs are videos made using Flash Animation, the most popular animation software amongst hobbyists and YouTubers. They could be fanvideos or original creations; mostly the latter. Also, just for the heck of it, “NicoDou” is an abbreviation for NicoNico Douga.)

──Was it also around this time that you made a Pixiv account?

Sidu: Pixiv came a little later. In another Oekaki Keijiban, the word “Pixiv” popped up, so I looked it up and found the site. I had originally made an account just for the sake of viewing and didn’t post anything at all, and that’s the account I’m using until now.

──Looking back, you started using both NicoNico Douga and Pixiv in 2007. Now-a-days, the term “UGC” (User Generated Contents) has become common, but I believe that Sidu-san had been playing around in places like Keijiban as an anonymous creator and threading numerous individual accounts in websites since your teenage years.

Sidu: Thinking about it now, it was amazing. There was actually a popular person in that “Puyo Puyo” Keijiban. I remember finding this person’s art on Pixiv and got emotional while thinking, “That person is still alive!”. It was easy to find them since their art style didn’t change.

Year 2011, where the phenomenon known as “KagePro” overtook a creator.

──And then, four years from there, you discovered “KagePro” in 2011, and three months later, you became its illustrator.

Sidu: Only, I was light-hearted about it back then. After all, every tip I was receiving about how to make the art was via Twitter.

──I think 2011 was an important year, where “Senbonzakura”, “Tell Your World” and “KagePro” debuted together in a contest to become representatives of the 2010 internet’s VOCALOID and NicoNico Douga.

Sidu: It was a lively year. Before “KagePro” started, I’d made acquaintance(s) with VOCALOID song creator(s) through Twitter, but I think that was the time when it truly became lively. I also drew art for their songs.

──Does Sidu-san remember the impression from listening to Jin-san’s musical composition for the first time?

Sidu: Back then, I’d skim over the rankings of VOCALOID songs that came out everyday on NicoNico Douga. KagePro’s first song, “Jinzou Enemy”, was there, and had me going, “This song... is cool,” so I tweeted that. Then came the sudden reply from Jin-san, “Thank you very much”. That was when we had our first interaction.

──What kind of interaction was it?

Sidu: At first, we didn’t talk about songs or art at all, only about games. Then Jin-san saw my Pixiv account’s URL in my profile page and went, “So you were an artist,” then asked, “Could you draw something for my next song?”. From that, we made “Mekakushi Chord” together.

──From this point on, I think the repercussion regarding “KagePro” began to broaden all at once due to the release of “Kagerou Days” four months later, so how did you take it back then?

Sidu: There was a time when all of Pixiv’s rankings were often about “Kagerou Days”. Moreover, everyone was good at drawing. It was a phenomenon full of people that drew the art motifs that I had created better than myself. While I thought, “Amazing~!” I also pondered over things like, “Wouldn’t it be better if I weren’t here? Aren’t I just dragging it down?”.

──It felt like the phenomenon was overtaking you.

Sidu: Right. Everyone had all sorts of interpretations, and there were people who drew accessories and cool Hibiyas. I thought people who thought that far and made that much stuff were amazing.

──By the way, what’s Sidu-san’s image of Jin-san?

Sidu: During that time, I thought he was someone that made cool songs. But as it turns out, all he talked about were damned Otaku subjects, so I started thinking of him like, “This person... is a weird-ass old man, huh...” (Laugh) We also talked about “KagePro”, but half of it was like, “If this person was in a live-action adaptation of it, what role would you want them to play?”

Many adults she didn’t know ended up getting involved.

──“Mekakushi Chord” only contained an illustration, but “Kagerou Days” was fast to be turned into video. Had you wanted to make videos from the start?

Sidu: I had. But at first, the only software to make videos I knew of charged a fee, so I thought I couldn’t handle it and gave up. But upon doing a search, I found countless free softwares. Especially a software named “AviUtl”; I tried it out on intuition and ended up using it a lot.

──The MV of “Kagerou Days” shows stills that move through camerawork like visuals and lyrics that cut in, so an unique style was born from it. Was it inspired by anything?

Sidu: I simply thought, “I want to make a VOCALOID-ish MV” and it turned out like that. There were videos like that since back then. The rest was just the feeling that I “had to create an opening”.

I liked videos with lots of illustrated frames and watched them often, thinking that “it would be great if I could make videos like these, but drawing so many frames is exhausting so it’s impossible”. I believed that “it will be more VOCALOID-ish this way” and made it without enough frames. Although, I don’t know how, I ended up with many frames. (Laugh)

──After that, “KagePro” moved forward as a collaborative work with a particular worldview. How did you feel when the project grew bigger and bigger?

Sidu: During the time of “Headphone Actor”, I had heard about the demo movie of the VOCALOID named “IA”, but back then, I wasn’t co-working with anyone and made everything by myself. Yet, at the time that the CDs, light novels and manga were released, a bunch of adults I didn’t know became involved. “Isn’t this... kind of bad...?” is what I felt.

──Meaning, from 2011 to 2012, the situation was steadily rising to a climax, and the people from companies and labels that keep everything in order became involved.

Sidu: That’s right. At that point, all of the characters had been made. I had suddenly been told by Jin-san, “These characters will come out next, so please make as many prototypes as possible for them” and from then, we made “Konoha no Sekai Jijou”.

The feeling of “Do I feel good about this or not?” doesn’t change from the videos to the anime.

──The phenomenon’s ignition was “Kagerou Days”, and adults started getting involved during the time of “Konoha no Sekai Jijou”. Were there any other songs that Sidu-san feels to have been a turning point?

Sidu: The first time I counted with another animation company and entrusted them with raw materials for the characters and animation was during the time of “Children Record”. It was the first time I’d made a video with someone else, but since it was related to “KagePro”, it was a pain in the beginning.

──What exactly was a pain?

Sidu: I really couldn’t manage to put what I wanted to do into words in a way others would understand. There is also the fact that I’m a taciturn, the type that doesn’t talk much, and the contents of my works are usually messy. Back then, I couldn’t deal well with taking lots of jobs and having to interact with people numberous times, so I thought the proposal of making an anime was terrible.

──Are there any remarkable memories from after that?

Sidu: That would be the opening theme of the TV anime, “daze”. Back then was when I made a video with scarce animation for the first in a long time. I believed I had made a video with an evolution of my old style. Basically, I prefer making videos with motion typography like “daze” rather than animation.

──What does Sidu-san, as a creator, consider a strength in your style?

Sidu: I’m often told I’m not the articulate type, and to tell the truth, I don’t even understand my own style that well. (Laugh) I’m not that conscious of my style; I just think, “I wanna make something like this” when I occasionally see something I consider cool and do it. But my sense of time ─ my way of timing things ─ might have not changed since the past.

──I think it’s a big point for the sound and images to be synchronized. The way of capturing motion in Sidu-san’s videos feels like the motion and the music are in the same session, like it connects with a percussion instrument through a wire.

Sidu: Hoa~, thank you very much. I’ll try to keep that up from now on. (Laugh)

──Is this more of an emotional than a technical thing?

Sidu: That’s right. It’s completely emotional. Whether I’ll “feel good about it or not”.

“Kagerou Daze -in a day’s”, the movie that resonated Jin and Sidu’s music and videos.

Kagerou Daze -in a day’s- Scene Shot 5

──About that feeling, I wonder if it didn’t come to life in the production of this MX4D. I felt something like a connection between the bridging and coordination of this production and the sense of timing of Sidu-san’s videos.

Sidu: I think that success was achieved entirely thanks to the technique of the contributing editors. In the process of making it, I did imagine things like, “I want to put special effects in this bit,” but when the part of adding MD4X effects actually came, it turned out to be fun. So I thought, “Let’s put in a lot of effects,” and it wound up really flashy.

──It flickered a lot; my glasses even got wet. (Laugh)

Sidu: Yes, yes. Makes one feel like, “just shake things up,” huh? (Laugh)

──Was there anything you obsessed over in the coordination of the animation or the MX4D?

Sidu: There are scenes in Shintarou’s point of view, and I thought that, since it was a subjective viewpoint, we couldn’t just halt them, so I made them oscilate all the time. While imagining them, I felt we should just make them flashy.

──This movie’s main point is the subjective viewpoint, huh? Within 20 minutes, the point of view is often switched. The opening scene with the terrorists also starts with a subjective viewpoint in first person. It became a form of narration similar to a virtual reality type of self-insertion.

Sidu: That’s right. We referenced that genre of video games named FPS rather than making it like a regular anime. I thought the MX4D effects were very compatible with that.

──Seeing the feedbacks, there were several positive ones like “they move so much when the frames are put together” or “the water and scents were amazing”, and it gave me the impression that many people enjoyed the aspect of self-insertion provided by the MX4D. I believe you have come across various different feedbacks as well, so how did you take them?

Sidu: I’m extremely grateful to the people who said it was fun. But there are also negative opinions. To be honest, even I think there were things I couldn’t manage to do, so I symphathize with them like, “So you think the same as me, huh?”.

It ended up being a short story, but it started out from a PV-like form of storytelling, so it felt like an omake. That’s why the people who said it was enjoyable (personally) make me the happiest.

──Is that to say that the story and the personal experience were memorable?

Sidu: Yes. However, for the story, “Kagerou Daze -in a day’s-” actually has a sequel, “Route-2”. I won’t go into details yet, but I can say there will be a connection with it through the use of this first-person subjective viewpoint.

──In Jin-san’s interview, he also talked about the pleasure of personal experience, and the keywords were “feeling of immersion”. The opening “RED” expressed a feeling of dizziness from being inside a whirlpool with its fast tempo. He said that, this time, he worked on the song for the movie completely separated from you, but in the end, I believe your feelings wound up linked to one another. Lastly, in retrospect of these six years, what was “KagePro” for Sidu-san?

Sidu: It was a school. I learned a lot of things through “Kagerou Days”. I learned a lot of bad things too. My art simply became better and I became better at making videos as well. I learned how to worldbuild and make videos and anime. I always had to greet lot of people at work, so I also became more sociable. It really felt like a school.

──Meaning you grew together with “KagePro”.

Sidu: That’s right. I also got to eat some delicious stuff. (Laugh)

──Hahaha. By the way, Jin-san said that “KagePro” was “meant to seriously deceive children”. And that “it wasn’t made to please adults”.

Sidu: That’s right. Lately, I have often heard people commenting with disdain, “that thing is aimed at children”. But I believe that everyone makes stories influenced by things they liked as children or animes they watched and mangas they read. That’s why I think childhood is important. It’s okay for it to be a work that adults can also enjoy, but what meaning would it bear if children couldn’t stand it? Is what I feel.

#kagerou project #kagepro #mekakucity actors #kagerou daze #kagerou daze in a day's #sidu #jin #anime #my translation

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