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kukieisme · 2 years

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how to tumblr i am no speak this app languege

hi the lame anon here. i've never used tumblr before so instead i harass innocent ppl with corny asks bc i crave for social interaction teehee. i was once asked to come off anon (sweetly) when i gushed to @kaasjee about finally finding other people who were tae-yeon appreciators and ppl of culture. since i can’t keep bothering nice ppl on their ask boxes like a coward i will just go for it and post Seongjoon: The Resurrection(TM) (crack ver) (also 10 min ver) (from ptj’s reject folders) here.

the anon ask @eatsbop where i began the copium treatment: so basically seongjoon is hiding with the good christian thai man who makes sure he eats, recovers and gets strong in his basement before meeting jenny's ugly ass to get child custody of his sharks and jenny's bird n his share of property rights after that shitty divorce. that funeral? lmao no it was just fake! those ashes were gathered from a campfire held nearby lolol seongjoon is well on his way to recovering and ruling the internet once hobin reveals all the truth on his channel!!! hahahaha

the continuation of the copium treatment: since i am indeed in coping treatment after binging this godforsaken series, any support is all welcome and translates as words of your undying love to me! <3 (pls don’t expect accurate storybuilding im only capable of things im good at) so our good, god fearing thai man keeps seongjoon fed and bathed in exchange for tips on the perfect slayful eyebrow grooming and how to save your hairline while working for mr angel number over there with a passion for faking tattoos like a poossie (get them real like seongjoon if you can, coward). and then thai guy quietly ships seongjoon off to thailand so he can get over whatever mental illness and delusion he’d caught during his first date with penny. seongjoon also masters muay thai <3 he comes back all beautiful, suntanned and op-ed and by then hobin and his fantastic five (six? i hope yeonwoo woke up by then) have exposed Ugly Locker Passcode for the list of crimes he committed and how seongjoon has been a tool all his life (in more ways than one)! this makes seongjoon's sakuras(TM) on newtube to regain their strength as his undying, unbreakable fandom. assemblyman Irrelevant Name is kicked out after being exposed via the bloody usb (ha!), seongjoon's sakuras petition to the bluehouse to take in seongjoon as replacement. the bluehouse agrees bc seongjoon is that slayful (and well they can get money from the eyecandy fansites for selling his pictures taken during meetings so whatev) so yay!! oh while all this was happening in one side of the city, on the other side we got pretty sharkboi dueling it out with unpretty parrotkeeper and sharkboi wins because of how much he's trained. he demands ownership over 90% of their joint property and custody over their waterborne and airborne children because penny(wise) has way too many mental and business issues to look after them ofc. pennywise succumbs bc he's been too surprised to do much for the most part. sharkboi wasn't dead, he was busy getting pretty?? damn. "so are you still up for that coffee date? ....no?? wdym i made shitty coffee anyway, do you want me to shoot you???" so they fight some more..... and then they kiss because fuck it's been years you whores can you just not mess it up for other people because of your gay feelings for each other??? i’ve yet to see pea-tea-jay write some development for taeyeon ffs. act like men you thugs. anyway seongjoon forgives since he's a changed man and he can't be the only one spending money on premium meat for his fishies. he tells captain hook to become a stay-at-home husband/zookeeper while he goes and saves the nation as the Brand new, Bold and Beautiful assemblyman!!! he bonds with hobin and friends and feeds them his recipes and holds intellectual political conversations with yeonwoo in order to help him grow up to be korea’s shining star and for some reason it pisses off taehoon bc it sounds so pretentious, though he does keep a spare beer can in the fridge when he knows seongjoon will visit. and they live happily ever after. everybody was alive and healthy enough to come to wangguk’s and my wedding. end of story. park tae joon could never !!1! *tomatoes*

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curious-menace · 4 years

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More Arkham knight riddler headcanons!

Gosh nonnie, buy a girl a drink first!

I'm spoiling you guys, here's some sfw ones and some nsfw below the cut.

Arkham riddler

Fear of heights and of being choked. One is a childhood phobia, the other is BC of batman. I'll let you decide which is which

Unlike the other riddlers he's not an insomniac but he does have terrible night terrors. Most of his nightmares are about his dad or batman or batman being his dad. I'm sure Jon and Harley would have a psychology buddy field day of the knew.

Executive distinction is pretty bad. If he's not scheming or plotting against batman he's lifeless. He needs a project to make life worth living.

Courtesy of the Catwoman dlc , we know he loves Coco with marshmallows. I imagine he has a shit load of those sugary flavoured syrups by his desk. Probably has a lot of cavities now too.

Likes to stream video games. He's really good at mystery games and used to enjoy having weekly cards against humanity matches with his followers/some of the other rogues. It's an undisputed fact that he is funnier/better at cah than joker.

NSFW BELOW THE CUT

I keep telling yall how much I canon this boy loves the strap and I'm going to keep doing it till someone stops me. He is Bi but he's a little afraid of other men as partners. I wouldn't call him a misandrist like ivy but he feels much safer with a feminine partner (cis or nb/ trans).

He really likes a possessive partner. No one really wants him around, let's be real. He wants to feel wanted for a little while. He'd find it arousing for a partner to bite him, leave a mark of some kind. He's not fussed on collars (see above for why) but if he trusted you he might let you put one on him in private. I really see him enjoying being possessed and owned by someone for once in his life.

He really likes it when partners give him hickeys. He mostly likes them on his neck where other people can see he's been having a fun time. But he also likes them on his thighs too. Big deep purple ones that take days to fade, ones where you can see the outline of the teeth that made the mark.

If he's bottoming he hates it when you edge him. Don't get me wrong, he loves the feeling, and the overstimulation after is just the cherry on top. But he hates being reduced to simpering incoherent mess

Itching to try sounding. It'll hurt like hell but let's face it, Eddie's a masochist. spends a lot of time fantasizing about someone booting his door open , knocking him on his ass and forcing (but not really) him to try it. Up until recently( ie Arkham Knight) it was usually Selina or ivy doing the deed. Guess he'll have to find someone new to daydream about.

Sorry this took so long nonie. I kept getting distracted. I'm sure I have a lot more but I worry I'll start repeating myself. Maybe next time, people could send me some prompts or a theme? I can do more with that than off my own bat, it seems.

Got any more questions for me? HMU with an ask or a DM. I'm always happy to talk about our favourite curious menace

#riddler #ask #edward nygma #edward nigma #headcanons #arkham knight #arkham knight riddler #my Headcanons #riddler headcanons

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golbrocklovely · 5 years

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twisted // colby brock - chapter one

A/N: NEW STORY!!! I’m so excited for yall to read this. It’s gonna be nothing like ‘only the lonely survive’, so I’m interested to see what you guys think. Please let me know what you think of this first chapter. I know it’s not much to go off of, but the next chapter really gets into the story, and is also 2000+ words long so its a bit of doozy lol HMU if you wanna be added to the taglist for this story so you know when it gets posted. Now, on with chapter one! :)

description of the story

trigger warning: cursing

word count: 1531

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don’t know where I am. But I can feel something’s coming close to me. I see I’m surrounded by black smoke. I can’t see anything but it. It feels like it’s getting closer to me. I can barely breathe with it around me.

“Angel…” I hear it whisper to me.

I try to speak, but nothing comes out. I feel tears run down my cheeks.

“You’re in danger…” It whispers to me. Louder and deeper this time.

I open my mouth, but my voice is gone.

Everything grows silent. It’s too dark to see anymore.

“WAKE UP.”

I jolted awake, breathing fast and deep. My skin was damp, a cold sweat sitting on my chest. I feel like I just ran a marathon. I sighed, grabbing my phone to check the time.

10:33 A.M.

Time to go to work…

I grabbed my camera that was sitting at the end of my nightstand. I flipped the screen up, turning the camera on.

“Hey what’s up you guys. I literally just woke up. And guess what? I had another weird dream. Third night, or day, in a row. This was different but still fucking weird. So in it-“

I was cut off by a loud bang. I sat up quickly, glancing at my bedroom door.

“Yo, what the fuck was that noise? I swear, it sounds like something’s in my kitchen right now. I live alone, so what the hell was that?” I whispered to the camera.

I slowly inched myself out of my bed. I creep over to my door, putting my hand on the door knob.

“In case I don’t make it out alive, I love you guys.” I muttered, pointing the camera to my face, nodding slightly.

I counted to three, and swung the door fast, screaming at the top of my lungs.

“What the fuck?!” Colby yelled, dropping the water bottle in his hand on the floor.

I sighed, annoyed. “Colby! Why are you in my house?”

He grabbed his chest, close to his heart. “Jesus Christ you scared the shit out of me!”

“You scared the shit out of me!” I yelled, “Why are you in my house?”

He took a deep breath, calming himself. “I was hungry.”

I rolled my eyes, pointing the camera back at me. “And this, kind viewers, is why you never give your best friend keys to your place. They’ll break in, make you think you’re gonna get murdered, and steal your food.”

He laughed, smiling widely. “I only break in because I care… about your food.”

I giggled back. “Shut the fuck up and make me breakfast.”

“Yes sir.” He smirked.

I shook my head and turned off the camera, placing it down on the counter. “Fuck you by the way.”

“What?” He exclaimed quietly.

I smacked his arm hard. “You could have given me a fucking heart attack. I thought someone broke in.”

He winced, grabbing his arm. “Why would you give me the spare key if you didn’t want me coming over whenever I wanted?”

“I gave it to you in case of emergency, not to come over to eat MY food.” I replied, grabbing cereal out of my cabinet and placing it in front of Colby.

He shrugged, grabbing it and getting a bowl. “Somehow your food always tastes better.”

“Probably because you don’t pay for it.” I mumbled, opening the fridge.

“Maybe…” He poured the cereal into his bowl, heading towards my dining room table.

“Besides, you can’t just show up whenever without giving me a heads up. What if I was walking around naked?” I took the milk from the fridge, only to have him take it from my hand.

He put his lips close against my ear, his other hand resting on my waist. “I pray for that everyday…”

He pulled away, slightly chuckling and walking back to the table. I rolled my eyes, holding back the shiver that ran through my body.

It’s way too early for this…

“Whatever. I’m gonna go take a shower.” I stated.

“Can I join?” Colby smirked, turning to me.

I smirked back. “In your dreams…”

He scoffed jokingly and turned back to his cereal. I walked to my bathroom, shutting the door quietly. I took a deep breath, trying to relax myself as I slowly slid my clothes off and started the water.

To describe mine and Colby’s relationship is… strange to say the least. How we met is less complicated though. I moved out to Los Angeles from the small, unknown town of Dorney, Arizona back in 2014. I started a youtube account shortly after, slowly gaining some popularity. Then one day, two boys moved in next door to me.

And the rest is (somewhat) history.

The boys and I have been friends for years. They are two of the only people I trust. Two of the only people that know everything about me. And I them.

But mine and Colby’s relationship has always been a bit different.

For one thing, we always flirt with each other. Which has caused a lot of ~drama~ in both our fandoms. Most fans believe we are secretly dating, but that’s not the case.

As much as I wish it was.

I’ve always had feelings for Colby. The moment I met him, I knew I was gonna love him forever. He just has that hold on me. But I could never tell him. I’ve ruined too many friendships with guys because I grew to have feelings for them, but they never did for me. I’ve kept my feelings to myself the whole time. Sam’s the only person that knows I like Colby. He kind of figured it out on his own.

He has told me before that Colby has feelings for me, but I don’t believe him. Colby is mostly straight-forward with girls, and he has never said a thing to me about his feelings. I think our relationship is best left as a friendship and nothing else.

I would hate to lose him. Or Sam. That’s my worst nightmare.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped my hair in a towel and dried my body off. I wrapped the towel around me and looked at myself in the slightly, fogged-up mirror. The towel fell to just underneath my butt.

Maybe I should show Colby what he’s missing.

I opened the door to my bathroom, smirking. Colby was on his phone, reading a message from someone. He looked deep in thought.

“Whatcha reading?” I asked, slowly walking up to him.

“Sam and I are setting up the next place we want to go explore and we got this message from a fan about a haunted bed-and-breakfast.” He replied, still staring at his phone.

I stood there for a moment, glaring at the back of his head.

He’s never gonna look at me, is he?

“That sounds cool. Is it just the two of you going or are the roommates heading with you guys?” I questioned, walking into my room and leaving the door open.

“Well, we wanted to bring Jake and Corey but both of them are busy this week,” He explained. “Sam was thinking if you’re not too busy, do you want to go?”

I shrugged, pulling my clothes on for the day. “Wait, where is it at?”

“Up in Washington. According to the fan that sent us the information, the bed-and-breakfast is known as one of the creepiest places in all of Washington. It was on an episode of Ghost Hunters so you know it’s somewhat legit.” He informed, his voice coming from right outside my room.

“You can come in you know.” I insisted, turning to see him standing at my door with his back to it.

His shoulders dropped as he turned around, “I thought I would be nice and not barge in while you’re getting dressed.”

“You being nice? To me? Are you starting another prank war?” I smirked, crossing my arms.

“I’m always nice to you. I just show it by eating your food.” He responded, laying down on my bed.

“And making fun of the boys I date.” I teased, sitting down next to him.

He groaned. “Hey, your last boyfriend was a dick. What was his name? Ray, Rob, R-“

“His name was Ryan, thank you very much.” I retorted.

“Anyway, are you down to go to Washington with us?”

“I don’t know…”

“Please.” He rested his head and hand against my thigh, looking up at me. He jutted out his bottom lip.

He shouldn’t be allowed to be this cute.

I smiled jokingly. “Only because I hate seeing you beg.”

He sat up quickly, beaming. “It’ll be fun. We’re gonna change things up this time and actually stay at the bed-and-breakfast for a couple days, instead of just overnight.”

“When do we leave?” I asked.

“Tomorrow.” He deadpanned.

I laughed. “Did you buy my ticket knowing I was gonna come with you?”

He paused. “Yes.”

“What if I said no?” I questioned, crossing my arms.

“I guess I would have had to kidnap you.” He shrugged and smiled.

I chuckled back. “I’m gonna ask for the key to my apartment back now.”

|| CHAPTER 2 >>

#colby brock #Sam and Colby #sam golbach #colby brock x oc #colby brock story #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock fluff #colby brock fic #twisted

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