Tumgik
#if we don't reclaim them and use them with ease and comfort they WILL be used as weapons against us
crabussy · 1 year
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robin are you getting gay discourse in your inbox
turns out putting the word queer in a post that would inevitably blow up was a great way to make people ridiculously furious over things that barely matter or were a problem in the 1970s
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lovefromremus · 1 year
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AFTG Headcanon Series [2] Neil
part 1, part 2, part 3
So we all know that Neil and Mary would sleep with their backs to one another, right? Well from this I like to interpret as one of the main ways Neil likes to feel safe is by being held
Not because Mary held Neil, because she didn't, but because he was always so close to her every night and after years of pain not once did she turn to face him and hold him, and now he was in a safe environment, he ached to be held
Of course, when Andrew finds out about this, he is more than happy to hold him when he can and feels comfortable to do so
Neil doesn't share Andrew's love for ice cream. However, it's Kevin who introduced him to the world of sorbet. His favourite is raspberry.
Neil likes to play with fashion. Growing up clothes never had any gender, they wore what they found. Imagine Neil in neon tops and long, flowy skirts
HE LOVES TEA. HE CHANNELS HIS INNER BRITISH GENES OKAY? STUART SENDS HIM BOXES OF YORKSHIRE TEABAGS (im projecting again my bad)
Him and Allison go on weekly lunch dates every Saturday to catch up and gossip with one another, at first Neil is reluctant but he eventually loves them
Kevin comes to him whenever he's feeling anxious or upset
Has a really strong relationship with Jean after the Nest, they often call and text each other and love seeing each other at games, banquets etc
I'm sorry but I have always seen his hair as GINGER as in ORANGE not Auburn, he has ORANGE HAIR YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ITS JUST BRIGHT AND COLOURFUL LIKE HIS EYES
Cannot drink any form of soda/fizzy drinks or juice unless it's HEAVILY DILUTED. He actually recoils and squints. He hates it.
Uses he/him pronouns but doesn't really know what's going on with his gender. He only started thinking about it when he discovered people can identify however they want to. But when he's asked what people should refer to him as, he just says he doesn't care (he would prefer if you didn't refer to him at all)
You may think Neil is the one doing all the rambling? You're wrong. Apart from exy, Neil is a listener. He grew up being quiet all the time and sometimes going days without uttering a word. It's Andrew who rambles to him about his day, his hobbies, a bird he saw on the way home etc. Neil smiles, nods, and tries to remember every word
Ends up having loads of fidgets and little things to play with on a lanyard he uses in class because he just has to be doing something. Whenever he's in an open environment he has to be moving constantly
Jumps when the toaster goes off every fucking time lmao
Does maths for fun?! What a weirdo but he definitely likes how organised and calm writing out all the steps makes him feel
Can do that weird thing where you make your tongue into like a flower shape
Wherever he is his laptop is not far behind. That kid always has it on him and is almost always using it for something whether it be studying or watching exy reruns
Gets lots of piercings!! It's how he starts reclaiming his body whilst also playing it safe with the FBI
Had the softest most beautiful most gorgeous most oh my god did you hear that? Laugh ever.
I'm telling you his laugh is just genuinely so elating that it makes everyone around him feel at ease
Just generally the type of person you can be around and never feel uncomfortable, Neil always likes to make sure people feel safe around him. Not that he tries really hard to find out what people do and don't like, but he's so calm and passive he never does anything to push anyone anyways
ABSOLUTE BADASS some of the things he mutters under his breath are so fucking funny it's shocking sometimes
Overall, just an amazing human.
But he could kill you. Remember that.
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diaphanouso · 4 months
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7 Snippets, 7 Mutuals
Thanks for the tag @otemporanerys @misseffect @dwarrowdams !
Some of y'all have already been tagged but here we gooo: @dispatchwithlove @kalliesa @sinelaborenihilsr2 @angry-jager @dulcidyne @westernlarch @jtownnn
A mix of snippets from BG3 and Mass Effect.
1) Reclaim the Night (Halsin/Astarion, very very WIP)
“I'll have you know that I'm quite comfortable with nudity." A sly grin plays across his lips as he reflexively eases into his familiar role. "Especially when the nudity is so pleasing."
Except… it’s no longer quite a role he’s playing, is it? Astarion’s reaction to Halsin had been real, his body, for once, corroborating his words, his wants. 
The druid exhales a chuckle as he laces up his vest. “It is only as nature made me." He pulls his hair back, and while he looks less… wild this way, it’s still quite a nice face.
“Yes, well,” Astarion answers, unsure of what to do with not only that, but the druid’s seemingly genuine response to what would normally be an empty flirtation. But Astarion, always one to land on his feet, recovers and dons a grave, approving expression as he claps his hands. “Splendid work, nature. No notes.”
2) Reclaim the Night
“It’s fortunate that I ran into you,” Halsin says as he moves to his other arm, girding the thick muscle in leather. “I’ve been wanting to thank you—sincerely—for all your help.” He tugs the strap as he did his belt. Then, his eyes bore into Astarion’s with an intensity that stops Astarion’s carousel of libidinous musings.
“It means more than you know,” the druid says, “that strangers, with no reason to help other than we were in dire need of it, risked their lives to not only free me, but ensure safety and peace within the Grove.”
For a few seconds, Astarion simply blinks, taken aback by both the sentiment and the gravity Halsin puts behind it. He quickly collects himself and answers Halsin's gratitude with a scoff and a dismissive wave. 
“Think nothing of it. It’s what anyone would have done.” The lie triggers no moral dissonance, as usual. Until Halsin responds with a skeptical brow that feels personal. Astarion looks away and inspects his nails, the scuffed toes of his traveling boots, the ants in the dirt—anything but the way Halsin sees him.
Halsin kneels and pulls on his sandals. “No, it’s not,” he says. “And there’s something to be said of the hearts of those who do good despite their instincts.”
3) Waiting (Halsin/Tav, also very WIP)
On his hand she places hers, tilting her head with a knowing look. “You're worried about me."
"That I am,” Halsin admits. “Though not for lack of confidence in you."
“It's only a little trip to the hells," she says, stroking the back of hand before placing a soft kiss upon his knuckles. “That's all."
“Come back to me, my heart.”
She smiles up at him, so radiant it almost, almost drives away his fears. “Don't I always, Love? Now, are you going to give me a proper kiss goodbye or save it for my return?"
Though his heart continues its tight, troubled beat, it’s tempered by her spirit; for the moment, his heart aches with affection more than anything else.
"I have every intention of doing both.”
4) One (1) New Message (Shakarian)
“Get your own kills, you sniping bastard.”
Massani’s irritation blasts over the squad’s comms once again as Garrus leaves yet another geth destroyer a crumpled heap of chrome and sizzling, smoking metal.
“Cool it, Massani.” It’s definitely an order, but the smirk in Shepard’s voice is clear as crystal. “Plenty to go around.”
Geth bombers rain down in warbling spins as the squad presses forward. The mercenary scoffs. “Just not very efficient, two of us having a go at one glorified toaster.”
5) Waiting
“… then the doors shut behind us with a SLAM!” Renyx says with a loud clap that makes everyone, even Halsin, jump. Firelight dances in her eyes and shadows play across her face as she leans forward conspiratorially. She holds them all under her spell. “And that’s when the singing starts." 
Astarion pouts. "I always miss the fun ones. Take me with you next time.”
“Come now," Wyll says with a grin. “Like some infernal chorus?" 
Renyx shakes her head. “No, no. All him." 
Easy laughter crackles around the fire. Halsin's laughter is tempered, however, as he studies Renyx. The sight of the light dancing across her skin warms him more than the campfire itself. But despite the crackling energy in her storytelling, the sheer power and charm of her, there's something she's holding back, something hidden in the shadows of her narrative. He hopes to learn what it might be, if ever she might wish to share it.
Karlach waves her mug about, shaking her head. "I shit you not, the bastard sang to us. Sang to us! Of our demise!”
"Whilst delivering said demise, at that,” Gale adds. "Were our mortal souls not in such peril, I might've asked where he got his nerve. Might've even taken pleasure in the tune.”
“Well, someone took pleasure in the tune," Karlach says, casting a sly grin in the gith’s direction. “Pretty certain I caught Lae’zel humming bits of it on the way back.”
Lae’zel, sitting just outside the fire circle, looks up from buffing her armor and cuts her eyes at Karlach. "If I ‘took pleasure’ in the ‘tune’,” she hisses, “it is because my mortal soul was never in peril.”
6) One (1) New Message
Flashes of scarlet along the bridge ahead. Garrus sweeps the length of the bridge with his scope until he finds them. There, near the north end of the bridge—two geth units, each armed with a rocket launcher. One of them dips behind one of the metal panels running along the bridge, the other, Garrus tracks with his scope until it stops.
“Vakarian, at your ten!” Taylor warns.
Garrus swings back to the first unit and his scope comes eye to eye with the launcher’s muzzle, a flaming projectile screaming toward him.
His Viper spits a quick shot, knocking the geth unit backwards and over the railing as Garrus dashes out of the rocket’s path. It collides with the concrete behind where Garrus had been crouched, leaving a smoldering, blackened pit in the wall and scattering offshoots of fiery debris on the ground.
7) Bingo Card (Shep/Nihlus NSFW)
Shepard shrugs. “Yep. Never banged a turian.”
His eyes go wide, mandibles slack in surprise. “Nothing at all?”
“I mean, there was this errant blowjob on a recon mission. But I was under a lot of stress, as you can imagine.” Shepard downs the last of her drink. “Not my best work.”
A flush spreads up Nihlus’ keel. He starts pouring another drink. “So… no do-overs, huh?”
Shepard laughs. “No, my mouth and his cock simply weren’t meant to be. He’s a nice guy, though. We laugh about it now.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.”
“Trust me,” Shepard says, her voice breathy with amusement, “it was bad.” She beams at him. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, though. Good to know you have so much faith in my oral talents.”
“What can I say, I only work with the best.”
The silence settles between them.
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justjbeboriginalo · 3 months
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Don't Die This Time
Kili Fanfic
Kili meets a girl who has to go along on their quest on Gandalf's request. The girl captures his attention from the first time they meet and they grow to love each other over the course of the quest.
Pairing: Kili x OC female who can control natural elements
Chapter 6: Pain Part 2
Warnings: Death (orcs)
Gaia walks behind Dwalin with the town’s people surrounding them. Her eyes dart to Kili who is limping behind her with Fili short on his heels.
How are they going to reclaim Erebor when Kili can barely walk on his own?
She hears a soft groan from Kili and reaches her hand out to his. She feels around for his hand and takes his hand, walking slower in order for Kili to catch up. The hidden flower attached to his pants causes her to avert her gaze quickly.
The blackened flower does nothing to ease her worries.
The cheers of the crowd boom in her ears, but she keeps her attention on Kili’s pale features. She never noticed his eyes were such a dark brown, but it could perhaps be the paleness that accentuated them.
“Kili, are you sure?” Gaia asks, her voice mostly muffled by the cheering of the crowd. Kili gives a nod, but she knows he is in a lot of pain.
When they were together in the barrel, she felt his cold hands in her own. It was then that she knew how much trouble he truly was in.
She tried everything to get the poison from his blood, but she needs more time. It takes all her energy and strength when she performs her healing ritual which she picked up from the elves.
Kili did not want to risk her depleting her powers as they might still have to face Smaug. Gaia can only hope that Thorin does not allow Kili to continue with the quest. Fili would most likely also stay behind.
As the company makes their way onto the boat, Thorin stops Kili from getting on the boat. Some hope flickers across Gaia’s features as she knows that she will be able to help Kili once he can rest.
“Not you,“ Thorin says with his hand blocking Kili from getting into the boat. “We must travel at speed. You will slow us down.” Kili’s hand slips from Gaia’s. She can feel Kili’s heart breaking at Thorin’s words, aware of the importance of this quest to the King’s nephews.
“What are you talking about? I’m coming with you,” Kili argues back, an oblivious smile decorating his features.
“Not now.”
The realization hits Kili and the smile fades. How can he not continue this quest? This is what he has trained for his whole life. This is what he had lived for.
“I’m going to be there when that door is opened.” Kili’s voice is filled with despair. “When we first look upon the Halls of our Fathers, Thorin.”
Gaia steps forward with her eyes trained on Thorin. Thorin gives her a knowing look before he turns his attention back to his nephew.
“Kili, stay here. Rest,” Thorin says with sympathy, his hand cupping the back of Kili’s head. Anguish flickers across Kili’s eyes while he looks into Thorin’s eyes.
Kili hesitates a moment before he trudges back to where the company waited for the boat. Oin gets out of the boat and walks to Kili.
“My duty lays with the wounded,” he says with honor and Gaia bows her head to him when he passes her. Perhaps he can be of assistance when she heals Kili.
Gaia starts backward towards Kili, watching Fili arguing with his uncle. After a short discussion, Fili walks to them to be with his brother.
“You should go,” Kili’s voice is low, the pain evident in his tone. His eyes bore into Gaia’s, pleading for her to leave. “I do not want you to see me like this.”
Gaia takes his hand again and her free hand moves to his cheek. She rubs her thumb soothingly in circles on his cheek, a warm smile appearing on her face.
“I am not going anywhere.” Gaia gives his hand a gentle squeeze before she turns to the front to watch the company sail to the mountain. She feels Kili’s hand trying to give her hand a comforting squeeze, but he is too weak. His hand almost slips from hers again.
The Master of Lake Town starts bidding his goodbye to the company as the trumpets play and the people cheer. Gaia glances at Kili and notices the sorrow as he watches the boat leave him behind. At least Fili stayed behind with his brother.
“Ah. So you missed the boat as well?” Bofur asks. Gaia furrows her brows at him. Bilbo had asked where Bofur was, but she assumed he was amongst the company. It seems he overslept.
Gaia lets out a laugh, but Fili’s panicked calls to Kili force her to focus on Kili instead.
Oh no.
Kili is unable to stay upright and Oin along with Fili holds him up. Gaia did not think that it was possible, but Kili appears to be even paler than before. He is in dire need of help.
Bofur and Fili support Kili, looking around at someone who might be of assistance.
“The Master,” Gaia says, gesturing for them to follow her. She hurries to where he resides, making a path along the way to ease the journey of Bofur and Fili with Kili.
“There.” Gaia dodges a few people and finally emerges from the crowd.
“Please wait,” Fili shouts, forcing the Master to turn to them. “Please. We need your help,” Fili pleads. “My brother is sick.”
“Sick? Is it infectious? Get back,” the Master demands, waving his hand for them to move as far away from his as possible.
Gaia stares in disbelief at the revolting man at the top of the stairs. How can Man be like this? They do not care for anyone other than themselves. Nothing new, she supposes.
“Please, we need medicine,” Oin says, stepping forward. His tone is desperate and Gaia is aware that Kili needs immediate intervention. Or else he might not make it.
Alfrid tells them to leave the Master alone before they head back into the Hall. How are they supposed to heal Kili without any medicine?
Gaia needs certain herbs and plants to be able to perform her healing, but without them, she fears she might not be successful.
The guards push them, forcing them away from the only help there might be in this forsaken town.
Gaia chews the inside of her cheek, trying to think of any other person who might be able to help them.
“Bard,” she says to Bofur, her tone without hope. Will he be able to help them?
Gaia fights off the Orcs, using a wooden stick. She focuses on the tricks Kili taught her during their journey together and manages to sweep an orc off his feet. She turns and kicks an oncoming orc, causing the orc to fall backward.
A shout from Kili catches her attention and she spins around, trying to locate him. She runs to where Kili was before Orcs attacked them.
An Orc charges at her and nearly knocks her off her feet. She uses the wooden stick with all her strength to impale the orc. The orc coughs black ooze out, sinking to his knees before falling to the ground.
“Kili,” Gaia shouts, trying to find him. She hears a pained moan and follows the sound. “Kili.” She crouches down next to Kili as her hands move to the open wound. The poison has caused the flesh to turn black around the wound on his thigh.
“Kili, stay with me,” she whispers, forcing him up. His shouts pierce her heart and she feels a tear sting her cheek.
The Orcs retreat and Oin hurriedly makes his way over to Kili. Fili helps Bard’s children out of their hiding spots before he also walks to where Kili is laying on the table.
“We’re losing him.” Oin’s voice is panicked. Gaia cups Kili’s face, feeling the life leaving him. Gaia racks her brain, trying to remember a plant that she might find here. Her eyes shoot to the door as she remembers.
“Atholos.” Gaia gets up as fast as she is able before she swiftly runs out of the house. She guides the stairs to move with her and she lands on a platform below the house. Her feet search for the vibrations of livestock and it leads her to a nearby coop.
Pigs.
Of course. The humans see it as a weed.
Gaia grabs a handful of the plant and uses the wood to carry her back to Bard’s house. She falls through the window, rolling to break her fall. She forces her body to stand up and rushes to Kili.
“Ah, yes. Of course,” Oin says, giving her a quick smile. She places the plant on Kili’s wound which only worsens Kili’s pain. He cries out in agony and Gaia knows that she needs to save him. It might be too late. Damn those Orcs.
Gaia closes her eyes, shutting out all the noise. Especially Kili’s shouts of anguish. She goes back to her days when she lived with the Elves after she escaped Sauron.
They took her in after the war between Sauron and Elves, Men, and Dwarves. Everyone came together to prevent Sauron from taking over Middle Earth. She was created to destroy the enemy.
Sauron created her.
She cannot remember much from her early days, but she knows that she could never kill anyone. Except for the Orcs.
The words start flowing out of her heart. Her hands tighten around Kili’s thigh while her healing incantation courses through the air, embracing Kili.
Evil was used to bring her to this world and she thought that she would never escape its grip on her.
She managed to escape Sauron’s hold on her and fled. The Elves found her and decided to grant her shelter. They found out about her origins and threatened to kill her, but Elrond saved her from that cruel fate. He taught her how to use her powers and how to control the elements. He knew how powerful she truly was when she knew of nothing.
Gaia feels the energy of Earth rushing through her into Kili’s wound. The house trembles at the power of the healing chant and this causes the children to scream.
After Elrond had taught her the fundamentals of her power and where she came from, Gandalf showed up. Gandalf helped her to remember how she came into this world.
She was trained to kill the Elves and Men since they were the biggest threat to Sauron. Thus, Sauron made her smaller than humans to cause confusion. How can something so much smaller than Men and Elves cause such destruction? Still taller than dwarves.
She trained by killing the Orcs who were the weakest of them all and slowly moved up the ranks. It was always easy to kill Orcs.
When she was assigned her first mission, she had to kill a group of men who had managed to sneak past their defenses.
After she had killed the first man, she thought she was dying. She did not know what was wrong with her, but it felt as if her soul was ripped from her.
That was when she realized that Sauron was evil and that she had to get away. So she fled.
Kili stares at Gaia, watching as she transforms into another being. A being of pure energy. There is a dark glow emanating from her.
He cannot help but gawk at the strange and almost intoxicating beauty of Gaia. He has never seen such a being. She is ethereal.
The glow only darkens and he notices her veins turning black. It seems like she is absorbing the poison from him.
Gaia inhales deeply, allowing the poison to travel through her. She was made from malevolence, so she is able to absorb pure evil energy.
When she traveled with Gandalf throughout Middle Earth, she learned everything about the forests and lands. She knew what her true purpose was.
She needed to heal the lands after the war.
Gaia slightly opens her eyes to look at Kili, who seems to be in some sort of a trance. He is looking at her and she tries to smile at him, but the poison traveling through her does not allow her.
She closes her eyes again and exhales slowly. She cannot mess this up. She cannot lose Kili.
Kili continues to watch Gaia and realizes that the pain is gone. Or perhaps he is dead. Perhaps she came to accompany him into the afterlife. He cannot tell.
All he knows is that she has become much more important to him than he wants to admit. He never felt these feelings before. They only become worse when he is separated from Gaia. And the feelings are stronger when he is with her.
Do not look for something that might not be there.
The way his heart clenches at the thought forces him to close his eyes. Perhaps he is not dead yet. Only time will tell.
Gaia feels Kili relaxing under her touch and she opens her eyes. She inspects him to see whether he passed out or whether he is still awake. His eyes are closed and his breathing is even. It might be better for him to have passed out.
She finishes her incantation and rests her hands on Kili’s thigh. She feels her strength leaving her and her knees almost buckle beneath her. She stumbles to a nearby chair and falls into it, allowing herself to rest.
“Are you all right, lass?” Oin asks, placing his hand against her forehead. She lets out a tired chuckle and waves her hand dismissively.
“I will be.” Oin bows his head to her before he turns his attention to Kili. Fili crouches next to Gaia, his hand on her shoulder.
“Thank you,” he says, his voice quivering. “You saved my brother’s life. I am forever indebted to you.” Fili inclines his head and Gaia notices a tear sliding down his cheek. She places her hand over his on her shoulder.
“No, Fili. You don’t owe me anything. I’m just relieved we were able to save Kili in time,” Gaia says with a soft smile. Fili nods, humming in agreement.
“He should be fine,” Oin states. Gai flashes a smile at Fili who pulls her in for a hug. She laughs into the embrace, flooded with relief.
Fili lets go of her and heads to his brother. He taps Kili’s chest with a smile before he heads to the kitchen.
“We should get some rest. We leave in the morning.” The other dwarves mutter in agreement as they head to their makeshift beds.
Gaia glances at Kili and decides to rather stay awake. She can rest by his side. She moves her chair closer to Kili before she sits down again. Her hand trails over his wet locks and she lets out a relieved sigh.
She healed him.
She did not lose him.
Gaia takes a strand of Kili’s hair and starts to braid it absentmindedly. She remembers how Gandalf told her about loss and she thought she understood what he meant. The searing pain that she feels every time she sees an animal or man dies. But that was not what Gandalf meant. He meant this.
Losing people you care about more than anything else.
Gaia rests her head on Kili’s arm, sighing. He must know loss. The dwarves of Erebor lost their home. They lost so many to Smaug. They lost everything.
Kili mumbles something and she lifts her head. She sees Kili’s eyes opening, waiting for him to recognize where he is. He continues to mumble, his eyes glued to her.
“Kili, you’re all right. I got the poison out of you. And your wound is closing up. How do you feel?” Gaia asks, her hand cupping his cheek.
Kili mutters something under his breath, but she cannot figure out what he is saying.
“You’re fine,” she whispers to him while she plays with his hair.
Kili’s eyes close again, a soft groan leaving his lips.
Gaia smiles at the peace that settles over the home. She missed this. This calmness. Except for the snoring of the dwarves, but she got used to that.
She stands up and replaces the walnuts that served as a pillow with Bofur’s jacket that was laying around.
“There you go,” she whispers, placing Kili’s head on the jacket. “Night.”
Gaia sits next to Kili, resting her head on her arms. Just one more day, then they will reach Erebor. Then she can . . .
Gaia sighs.
Then what?
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hellcheercaine · 9 months
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3 pm
It was 3 p.m. as Billy looked at his watch. He gets ready in the children's pool, with a group of children, ranging from ages from five to ten.
"Alright kids, " Billy steadily speaks with uplifting motivation. "Today we are going to learn how to float on your backs. Might sound strange to you, but trust me, once you get the hang of it, it's like floating on a cloud." The children look at Billy with excitement and trepidation, signifying their mixed feelings about the pool. Billy demonstrated the technique, showing them how to lie down and let the water support them.
One by one, the children tentatively tried it. Some were successful, but some did not, as seen from the unease in their expressions.
Despite that, Billy is not ready to give up. He waded into the pool and positioned himself to a young boy named Kyle, who struggled with the exercise. He smiled down at the boy, with his tone gentle. "Hey there, little buddy, don't worry. I'll be here with you."
With ceaseless patience, Billy held Kyle's hand and guided him through the motions. Billy spoke softly and soothingly, with words that gradually eased Kyle's tension. As Kyle floated on his back, he smiled back at Billy—his anxiety turned into a triumphant smile of trust and perseverance.
The other children watched with awe as Billy continued to work individually with both of them. Billy's empathy has created an atmosphere of comfort and safety, allowing the children to conquer their fears at their own pace. He praised their efforts, celebrated their successes, and assured them that it was okay to take their time.
As the lesson continued, Billy's empathy shone through even more. He often gives his students an extra boost of confidence or a gentle nudge of encouragement—helping a young girl named Riley overcome her fear of putting her face in the water and a young boy named Charles who was determined to swim without his floaties for the first time. By the end of the lesson, the children were no longer just his students but a group of aspiring young swimmers who learned more than just floating. They had learned to trust themselves, the water, and the encouraging presence of the person (Billy) who stood by their side.
As the children left the pool, their laughter echoed through the air. Billy couldn't help but feel a profound sense of accomplishment. He has found a way to use his sensitivity and patience to positively impact young lives.
While Billy reclaims his chair to oversee the pool, a feeling of gratitude washes over him as he recounts the meaningful interactions he had with the children.
After all, the pool is his safe haven.
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buddymobilitycare · 4 months
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handtherapy · 4 months
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6 Benefits of Hand Therapy Services for Your Hand Function
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Hands are incredible, intricate tools we use in almost every aspect of our daily lives. Whether it's typing on a keyboard, cooking a delicious meal, or simply waving hello, our hands play a vital role.
However, daily activities, injuries, or conditions can sometimes compromise the functionality of our hands. This is where hand therapy Auckland services come into play, offering a holistic approach to improve hand function and overall well-being.
1. Rehabilitation Tailored to Your Needs
Hand therapy services are not one-size-fits-all solutions. When you seek hand therapy, you're embarking on a journey tailored specifically to your needs. Therapists assess your condition, considering factors like the nature of your injury, your lifestyle, and your personal goals.
This individualised approach ensures that the rehabilitation process is effective and efficient, focusing on the areas that matter most to you.
2. Pain Relief and Management
Living with hand pain can be debilitating, affecting your ability to perform even the simplest tasks. Hand therapy services are designed not only to address the root cause of the pain but also to provide effective relief.
Therapists utilise various techniques, exercises, and modalities to alleviate discomfort, promoting a gradual return to pain-free hand function. Say goodbye to constant pain and hello to a more comfortable daily life.
3. Regaining Strength and Range of Motion
Injuries or conditions affecting the hands can result in muscle weakness and limited range of motion. Hand therapy services focus on rebuilding strength and improving flexibility. Therapists guide you through targeted exercises that gradually restore the power and dexterity of your hands.
Whether you're recovering from surgery or dealing with a chronic condition, hand therapy Auckland can be a game-changer in rebuilding your hand's strength and functionality.
4. Enhancing Fine Motor Skills
Fine motor skills are essential for precise and coordinated hand movements. Whether it's buttoning a shirt, tying shoelaces, or handling small objects, fine motor skills are involved. Hand therapy services hone in on these skills, providing exercises and activities that challenge and improve your precision and coordination.
As you progress through therapy, you'll notice a significant enhancement in your ability to perform intricate tasks with ease.
5. Preventing Further Complications
Neglecting hand issues can lead to further complications and long-term damage. Hand therapy services act as a preventive measure, addressing problems early on to avoid potential complications. Therapists educate you on proper hand care, ergonomic practices, and exercises contributing to long-term hand health.
By taking a proactive approach, you can safeguard your hands from future issues and maintain optimal function.
6. Emotional Support and Empowerment
Dealing with hand-related challenges can take a toll not just physically but emotionally as well. Hand therapy services go beyond the physical aspect, providing emotional support and empowerment. Therapists understand the impact that hand issues can have on your daily life and self-esteem.
Through encouragement, guidance, and a positive environment, hand therapy services help you regain confidence in your abilities and rediscover the joy of using your hands without limitations.
Conclusion
In the grand symphony of life, our hands play a melody that is uniquely ours. When that melody is disrupted, hand therapy Auckland services step in as the skilled conductors, orchestrating a harmonious journey toward improved hand function.
From personalised rehabilitation to emotional support, the benefits of hand therapy services extend far beyond the physical realm, making them a valuable resource for anyone looking to reclaim the full potential of their hands. Don't let hand issues hold you back – embrace the transformative power of hand therapy services today.
Source:https://medium.com/@handtherapynzseo/6-benefits-of-hand-therapy-services-for-your-hand-function-7f63eeb7b2bf
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lavanyasphear · 1 year
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Rechargeable Hearing Aid in Jaipur: Empowering Patients to Hear Clearly
In today's era, technology has touched various aspects of our lives. From comfort to convenience, we all are drawing huge benefits from technology. And the rechargeable hearing aid is one such technological innovation that has transformed lives significantly. In this blog, you will explore how our hearing aid center is bringing change in the lives of people by providing rechargeable hearing aid in Jaipur.
What is a rechargeable hearing aid?
People call it “Kaan ki machine in Jaipur.” Rechargeable hearing aids, as the name suggests, are hearing devices that are powered by rechargeable batteries. These hearing aids are an excellent alternative over regular hearing aids that require constant battery replacements. Not only do they offer ease of use and cost-effectiveness, but these hearing aids also contribute to a more sustainable and environmentally friendly lifestyle.
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What makes rechargeable hearing aids a smart solution over regular hearing aids in Jaipur?
These hearing aids offer enhanced capabilities, like Bluetooth connectivity, adjustable volume controls, noise cancellation, and different modes for various sound environments. All these features make them a better option over regular hearing aid options in Jaipur.
Above all, these hearing aids offer an unmatched hearing experience. They are also customizable, tailored to match patients specific hearing needs.
In the pink city of Jaipur, our hearing aid center has helped thousands reclaim their ability to hear clearly and effortlessly. Our rechargeable hearing aids provide full-day hearing support with just a single overnight charge.
How can our rechargeable hearing aid center in Jaipur help?
If you or a loved one are struggling with hearing loss, don't let it affect your quality of life. Reach out to Lavanya Speech and Hearing Centre today, and explore our range of rechargeable hearing aids. Our hearing aid center is committed to empowering you with the technology to hear the world around you better.
To know more about our rechargeable hearing aids in Jaipur, visit us directly. Let our expert audiologists help you with an affordable kaan ki machine in Jaipur.
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briefkingdomarcade · 2 years
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5 Laws That'll Help The Gar Barstools Industry
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idjitlili · 3 years
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I, I will be king.(II)
Din Djarin x reader.
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Part 1. Masterlist.
Summary:Din Djarins feelings get in the way,  when you reach your master once again.Din finally drops you off with your master, before he leaves for what seems for months. Second part and last part.
Word count:4497
Warnings: confusing? Honestly comparing din to a fridge isn't the best thing I've wrote.
A/n: OH AND this is the finished request for anonymous and @elkhead-art sorry it too so long.
As the sound of nothingness caused your eyes to slowly awake along with your consciousness, dark surrounded you. A small orange light was only to be seen outside. You were warm, and comfortable laying in a bed.  You recognised the texture of the blankets, the outline of the room. This wasn't anyone's room, it was yours.
Almost felt like you had dreamt the past few months, you had never left Luke, and never met the Mandalorian. But that was false, it had all happened, you were now back on Ahch-To. You had made it, you wondered if Mando was still here. 
On Ahch-To you lived in a small hut thing, so did Luke and so would Grogu. The island surrounded by water, no sand not much anyways, thankfully. Blue milk? We do not speak of that.
Soon enough you were wide awake,your feet had carried you outside, the atmosphere pitch black except the glowing orange in the distance where two figures sat.
"Luke?" The outlines of the bodies began to clear, it was clearly Luke and Mando with Grogu sat in his lap. Their heads turned to you, Luke's lips twitching up , he had stood up quickly making his way to you. "Padawan, I have missed you." Pulling you into a tight hug, his arms around your shoulders, you head dug into his chest. "What about no attachments, master?"
Scoffing Luke had placed his hands on your shoulders to look you directly in the eye. "That was very unwise, I told you to stay here for a reason, now you have months worth of teaching to catch up on."
"Sorry? I have learnt many lessons with the Mandalorian, we even met some other Mandalorians and guess what? They had met Anakin Skywalker , Obi-wan, when he was so very handsome, and Ahsoka. Plus, Mando has met Ahsoka , recently as well." You sat beside Mando, in front of the fire, Luke on one side and him on the other.
"Sounds like you had a good time, I hope you didn't have a great time." You weren't sure what Luke was trying to imply but you didn't care, your eyes had caught the green creature in Mando's lap. His hand reaching for you, offering your figure for him , his tiny green hand clutching it, though he could talk to you through the force, you already knew his name and he knew yours. 
Grogu had stood up, shuffling back onto Mando's other thigh, bringing your hand with him. All three of you watched his movements. Mando's hand against his thigh, whilst the his other was behind Grogu in case he fell. His breath hitched when Grogu reached down and gripped his finger. You didn't dare pull your hand from Grogu, as he pulled your hands together. Yours and Mando's finger tips touching, well his gloved finger tips.
Grogu had let go of your hands, looking at each of you, before interlacing his hands together. You didn't even get a chance to think about it, Mando had slid his fingers in between yours, closing them together. The small creature smiled and sat back on Mando's leg. Your hand placed on Mando's leg still locked with his. Luke hadn't said anything, Grogu getting up a second later walking towards him, no doubt that was him.
For what was a couple of hours, your hand stayed against the warmth of the Mandalorians glove. All until the early hours of day, you had stayed up talking with them, assuming he wanted as much time with Grogu as he could.
In which that point he had exuded to leave, following him to his now repaired ship, thanks to the other Mandalorians.
Luke had made you look away, as the Mandalorian removed his helmet, to say goodbye to Grogu. That was their goodbye, Grogu knew that.  Not long after that, Grogu was handed back to Luke, who step away, enabling you somewhat of privacy.
"Goodbye, Mando."
"My name is Din Djarin,"
"Oh wow, so your name isn't Mando? That's actually great, I prefer Din." A nod of his head and he was gone, felt strange, like he didn't care anymore but why would he give you his name?
You hadn't seen him for months, yet your heart-ached for him, it was stupid you weren't supposed to feel like this. Nothing would happen anyways, he was a Mandalorian you a Jedi, it wasn't supposed to be. Figuring Din had moved down on, he knew he couldn't keep Grogu, so he was trying forget. But that was not what he was doing, he wasn't abandoning Grogu no, he was trying to reclaim Mandalore.
147 days since you had last seen Din Djarin, you were shipped off by Luke's request this time.  Alone. For how long you didn't know, an undercover mission that could be quick or could take a long time , just luck.  Where you were sent was all but unfamiliar to you, uncover as bounty Hunter. Made your stomach flip, you'd be working for Boba Fett, who now had complete control of The hurts palace.  Luke had sent you to recover a Jedi that was being hunted.
Instead of your dark pants, long sleeve that you'd wear under your robes. (Yeah, basically Luke got the better outfits, you were fitted into formal Jedi wear.)  Now wearing fitted armour that covered your whole body like Din's, a helmet upon your head, dressed in dark colours. The helmet was confining , making you sweat a lot. How did Din do that all day?
You weren't sure how Luke managed to get you employed by Boba, did he just write up what is the equivalent to a Cv? Wasn't that your job , literally, you aren't supposed to get someone else to do it. 'Oh yes, I y/n am certain excellent at slicing, killing, capturing Bounties.' No, not killing that was the last resort. But, you would be able to capture bounties, so you'd be fine.
As long as you got the first bounty back to him, you would've secured the job. Luke had given you a ship to use, it was small, pre empire. Previously some junk from Tatooine, that Luke had brought to Ahch-too, and eventually you both repaired it.
With a ship and blasters, no lightsaber, you easily caught your first bounty and were in the job. Blasters seemed unpredictable, why does everyone miss? Poor design. 
For the four months you had been with Boba, well working for him, sure he had something going on with Fennec. Not that you could blame her, if Rex or fives was there and young, I'd bone, and I am total virgin. Din had been back to Ahch, Luke making up some excuse about being on supply run. And you were Boba Fett's best bounty hunter.
You were sent to Mandalore, all you was given was the location, and that it was a huge bounty for this creature dead or alive. The location wasn't even pinpoint just a part of the planet.  You knew of this planet, well heard of it.  Oh yes, like you'd see Din there.  Not Surprising Boba wouldn't go himself.
"How will I know I've found them, then?"
"You'll know."  The nod of his helmet, as he held his leg swung over the side of the chair. Not like when other bounty hunters would go in, his posture was always rigid, his hand sat upon his thighs. Fennec was always present as well, but not when you'd arrive. Boba would send her out. A nod from your helmet as you turned on your feet to leave.
"Wait," stopping before you had even taken a step, turning back to Fett. Another glance over him made it clear, he was presenting himself to you, his legs spread like that wasn't for nothing.
"Can I see what you look like?" You didn't even know what Boba looked like, but you had heard of the clones, and Obi-wan had told you about them , and how he was one of the only ones to survive. Yeah, Luke had finally taken you to the place where completely the trials that allowed you to speak to the 'dead'.
Bringing up your gloved hands to your helmet, pulling it off your head slowly. Squinting your eyes slightly as they adjusted to the lighting. Your y/c eyes fluttering to Boba who just sat there nodding at you, your helmet hooked under your arm. 
"See you soon, l/n."
"Goodbye, Fett."
With that you were headed to Mandalore with barely any knowledge of the planet, only with hope that you'd be okay. 'I don't believe in luck we make our own luck." 
Worried that you'd land on the planet and be shot, oh yes just a pre empire ship landing on your planet. Not like Hera almost died for talking. Yet, you thought nothing about someone waiting when you landed on the hot planet with ease. Though, most of the planet was inhospitable there was still some life left. A doom over the city of Sundari, in the distance.
Stepping from your ship into the atmosphere, on the edge of the ramp. Closing your eyes briefly s your stretched your arms over your head, clenching your fists closed at the same time. Satisfaction washed of you for a long moment. Yeah, that didn't last long when the sound of multiple mechanical surrounded you quickly.
Sighing as you opened your eyes again, the shape light of the planet dimmed by the filter on your helmet. Just as Suspected 4 Mandalorians surrounding, upholstering your blaster tossing it into the dirt in front of you. Lifting your eye hands above your head. Could only hope, that they thought you were a man, but you had placed your lightsaber dangerously in the front of your pants. With the plate of armour placed over that to conceal it further.
You dared not speak, maybe you'd pretend you had your tongue cut out, no , that wouldn't work they would check. You heard of Ezra Bridger maybe you'd pretend to be a hutt, no, no you didn't have a tail.
"State your business." You didn't recognise the voice of the Mandalorian definitely wasn't Din's. Lowering your hands slowly to place them on your hips, changing your whole posture.
"Han solo, I'm here looking for my wookie."
"Solo? Where's your ship then?" Scoffing at the Mandalorian, turning around and pointing to your ship.
"No, the Falcon,"
"Oh, so what you're a fan? Ships don't last forever." You were supposed to be trying to conceal your voice, but clearly that wasn't working. Your hands now cuffed behind your back, pushed onto ship and off you went to an unknown destination. Just maybe that Han Solo thing hadn't worked? Two of the Mandalorians stayed in the back of the ship, what you'd describe as the back of a police van sort of thing. Their eyes glued to you , as you sat in front of them.Only the humming from the ship could be heard, you weren't leaving the planet but travelling towards Sundari.
Your helmet still upon your head as they pulled you out of the ship by your underarms , dragging you. The lightsaber slipping in your pants slightly, you hoped that it wouldn't fall into you leg, looking like you had shat yourself. Feet scraping against the stone path , looked as if you on a plaza, the area around built up. Large steps leading to watch you could describe as a palace, it was huge. Covered with cubist murals of Mandalorians.
No, this couldn't be what Luke sent you for? You thought you were in search of Jedi's not more Mandalorians.  You hoped that they weren't taking you to their leader, was that Darth Maul still? No, he's dead? Ugh. If they searched you you'd be dead,  if they took your helmet off you'd be dead. It was no surprise you had been seen with Luke by the empire causing trouble. Depending whether they were still a neutral system.  
One of the Mandalorians from the pair that walked behind you as you were held, had made their way to the front of the group. Speaking into the com link on their right arm, in a language that you could only guess was Mando'a. Stood at the bottom of the steps waiting for a brief moment, before the huge metal doors were opened agonisingly slow. Basically Aragorn walking through those doors at Helms deep without Aragorn or anyone walking through the door.
With that, no one came out of the doors but you were pulled in the stairs and through the doors. Lead into a room with a throne? Right, no more politicians since Satine. Surprising that the room wasn't just made out complete Beskar, more pretty windows carpets , paint, paintings, Chairs  , food. Wow, they must of killed a Pirate, wasn't Mandalore broke?
In the centre of the room, a man stood, in tight fitted clothes, furs, heavy boots, a weapon upon his belt, sorry two bone a blaster the other hidden from your sight. His face aged like wine, squishy, dark brown eyes locked onto yours. If his eyes were to be compared to something, it would be that chocolate river from Willy Wonka. No fat kid in it, but a a handsome man surrounded it. Soft brunette curls on his head, wrinkles at the edges of his eyes.
"This one claims to be 'Han Solo' "  The man only nodded at the Mandalorian dismissing them, the doors shut behind you loudly. Turning to face you completely the man sat upon his Throne . 
"So, you fought with the Rebel Alliance." That voice, it was familiar yet you didn't recognise his face. Maybe he was Luke's friend that he'd often talk to , or just someone who had made a fuss at a bar. Instead of responding verbally you had just nodded too.
"Right, what rank, Han."
"I'm sorry, I would prefer if you called me by my title." Straightening your posture , bulking yourself.
"Oh? And what would that be?"  The smirk upon that mans fave indicated be was having too much fun. You were glad your helmet had a modulator.
"Captain, commander or yours." The smirk had dropped from his face, lips slightly parted, clearly flustered, only for a moment before his face went back to smouldering.
"You clearly are not who you say are. Until you tell me your purpose here I cannot allow you to leave."
You were stuck in some sort of cell, hundreds of other cells surrounding you. It looked like they had put you into the one connected to the wall of the building. Nor had they searched you again. Why? All they did was take your blaster.  He didn't even try , he just shoved you into a cell, not him directly but he didn't like you or was going to sell you off to someone. Bounty hunters didn't sway the hearts of many.
So, what did you do? Grabbed your lightsaber from your pants cut through the wall, and ran for your life.  Why it wasn't made out of beskar you didn't Know. Calling R2 from your com link, oh yes Luke had sent him with you to watch over you. Your breath heavy as you ran through the city that was covered with metal, seemed like no end. But you could t just stop and wait for R2 you weren't even sure of he could get through.
The shooting at your feet as you ran for the doors out of the city, igniting your lightsaber and throwing it the doors switches. Quickly return your lightsaber to your hand before making it to the door. The sound of their jet packs and firing dying down as you turn to face them. Stood in a line face you as you exit slowly. Your light saver back in your belt , your arms up to your shoulders as you walked backwards.
"This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caug-"  Okay, you had miscalculated you weren't planning on being grabbed from behind and pulled into a ship. The bright light of the inside of the side around you as the ramp was quickly slammed shit as you landed on the floor with a thump. This was your ship, but it wasn't R2 who you heard breathing heavily behind you.
Ahsoka Tano on your ship, Boba fett sent for her and she ended up capturing you instead. Not capturing but saving you , just said that for dramatic affect . You weren't sent to Boba for Mandalorians no of course not , if Luke wanted that he'd call Din. 
"Luke skywalker? Is your master?" Her hands on her hips as you sat in the pilots chair. She wasn't particularly fond on going with you but she did , why? That was unsure. The only reason she gave was her ship was destroyed on the planet and would not say why she was there either. Not that it was your business. 
"Yes, yes he is."
"Right."
With that you were heading back to Ahch-too but of course it's never that simple. Instead Boba Fett had taken himself out of Tatooine to personally come meet you with the bounty that he knew you had.  In fact it ended up like the Hobbit the battle of the five armies, all in space just floating. Mandalorians and Boba attached to your ship. 
Both Boba Fett, and the Mandalorians entering the cockpit at the same time, turning around in your chair with a squeak. Sighing.  A mandalorian stepping forward to look at Ahsoka who now stood , her fingers besides her lightsaber eyeing the company.
"Ahsoka?"  Though she did not reply just stood her ground, you didn't dare to move , this was a huge mess.  The mandalorian that you assumed was king now in armour that seemed familiar but all of them looked alike to be honest. At least the clones had more style, and they didn't look alike.
"What are doing with Han Solo?"
Fett scoffed looking at you briefly before turning to Mandalorian in blue. "That's not solo, I would know he tried to kill me."
"I would kill you too, Clone."  Glaring at the Mandalorian it seemed that their was something you were missing, their guns were all lowered, yet Ahsoka still stood her ground. Like she would trust anyone after what she had been through.
"As I was saying, that is not Solo. This my best bounty Hunter, l/n. She caught a Je- why is she  not in carbonite?"
"Uhm, about that Boba..." Though your explanation was cut short again, Boba's eyes did not leave yours, your cheeks felt hot under your helmet, this was R2 he allowed them to board.
"Did you not know? Your best bounty Hunter is a Jedi."   These Mandalorians we're really sucky, they just wouldn't piss off, maybe if Mando was here he'd kill them, no , he wouldn't kill his own kind. Ugh, if you had been alive when Ahsoka was young, she'd cut their heads of with no hesitation, oh but not clones.
"Yeah, that wasn't hard to see, my lightsaber was shoved down my pants, you Mandalorians suck, didn't know I was Jedi until you saw me waving around a lightsaber. Ironic."   It seemed like Ahsoka had enough, and began the engine again, on your way back to Ahch."Down your trousers, really?"
"No, my underwear." Did that sound sarcastic?
You hadn't meant to bring a party with you to Luke but here you were on the way ack home with some Mandalorians and Boba Fett. Everyone had calmed down, waiting to arrive somewhere, with no discussion about it. Was this a horrible choice endangering Grogu probably.  So, you had gotten Bobas attention bringing him out of the cockpit and into a room. Well, the only over rooms were the bathroom and your small sleeping area.
"Well, what is it?"
"Uhm, just that I am no longer working for you, sorry and yeah I don't think you should stay."
"Oh,  just lovely you are. Though, I am not sure you ar- were my best bounty hunt, you'll have to take the helmet off." What was with this guy and wanting to see your facc. Sighing you pulled your helmet from your face slowly, the cold air slapping you as your hair fell from the helmet messy. (If you have no hair then your head was looking polished and hot like Dwayne Johnson.)
Though yet again, you could not see his face, well until he pulled his off too. A deep laugh erupted from his lips as he smiled at you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
"It is you."
Neither of you had notice Bo-Katan walking by after doing her business, seriously in your ship? Not that you'd notice it was her without seeing she got new armour. Oh, you know she went straight to tell her king.
So, after your short interaction with Boba, who decided he'd leave but not yet to much of your dislike. Soon as you stepped into the cockpit , the bigger framed Mandalorian was in front you, he wanted something. Looking passed him for Ahsoka who was busy with the control panel. Everyone talking to each other. Your throat itchy, this was not pleasant.
"You know you remind me of a fridge."
His visor stuck upon your face no, the silence from him, even his breathing did not stop you you. You were uncomfortable but when he wasn't speaking what were you supposed to do?
"Well, maybe a broken one because you hold yogurt but it's warm."  Again, he did not respond just stared you down.
"Beca-"
"Yes, I understand." The same modified voice as you remembered, yet you still felt intimidated still.
"Oh, not funny not then?"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"That I'm not Han Solo?" Grabbing your upper arm as he scoffed pulling you towards his empty ship connected to yours. You'd only hope that if you were murdered right now, that Luke would have this surge of anger like his father and kill this man. 'Kenobi!' Okay, it just felt like it needed to be Maul rage not a 'oh no, I strangled my wife pretty much and wondered how she died and now I am mad.' Too bad Mail didn't run Anakin over when he had the chance.
"Take the helmet off."
"No."
"Take it off." His feet travelling closer to you as his voice got sterner and slower. Wishing Din was here to tell this man about boundaries.
"Get lost, why are you even here? Chasing someone that didn't do anything wrong. You're a dick for king , go home and fix your ugly planet , sperm bank." You bad went to push passed him, his frame was sturdy, and before you could he had your wrists  in his hands.  Not fighting him, even though you could easily break free his hold was gentle. Looking up to the t of his visor.
"Do you not recognise me?"  You wanted to say yeah you kidnapped me. But it was clear from the soft tone in his voice that wasn't it. You had be oblivious, how could you over look everything.  The voice, the Mandalorians, a king , was this a joke from Ahsoka?  Maybe she was more like than Anakin than you had been lead to think.  His hands dropped from your wrists,  your hands rested on the sides of his helmet. A soft click of his helmet, pulling it up slowly.
But as you had began to lift it up, he had grabbed it from you quickly throwing it behind him with a thud.His cinnamon caramel sand, shiny coconut , beach waved, auburn oven baked curls softly placed upon his head. Stubble littering his jaw like grass, his Willy wonka chocolate fountain eyes glazing on you softly. T-this was the king of Mandalore, b-but no this couldn't be , no he wouldn't take his helmet off in front you? Would he?
Your hands now resting on the sides of your helmet, click , pulling up the helmet just as you had done previously without interruption. A sigh from his mouth as caught a glimpse of your face. Before your helmet dropped the floor , he had pulled you into a tight embrace.
"Don't tell me this whole time , I've been like these Mandalorians suck, I wish Din was here."
Pulling from Din to look at him,  through you shouldn't have , your palm was pressed against his stubbles cheek.
“Oh,”
“Yeah, I had lightsaber as dick how did you not notice? Plus that pick up line, seriously?” Your hand was no longer one Din’s face, partly because it had became sweaty too quick and your arm was aching.
“Hm, if I knew it was you then I would’ve accepted.” Accepted what? The pick up line.. your face was hot, why couldn’t he say he heard Han Solo was a player and didn’t want his heart broken? Instead his hands were interwoven with yours. I feel like this a David Bowie as Jareth moment.
“P-pardon?” Your hands were dropped, Din had turned to pick up his helmet.
“You’re with him.”
“I’m with you?”
“No you are involved with Fett.”
“Sorry? I worked for him as bounty Hunter not a personal hustler.” But Din continued to put his helmet on unamused, walking out the door, but you had decided the best idea . Doesn’t matter if your weight , Din was strong. If he had to he’d be able to carry a ship. Okay maybe.
So, you had jumped on his back, your arms around his neck, legs around his Weiss, he did not budge, not at all.”Tell me what you meant or I-ill be... very annoying and pretend I am this really cool person that gets men and women but I am not but I will pretend I’ll trick them into thinking my lightsaber is big shlong -gosh why did you not stop me. And you should because I am a huge virgin.” Huge nerd more like.
“...I’d accept your offer of you being mine.” Maybe, Din felt better because he didn’t have to directly look at you, you were on his back what were you going to do, jump off and fall over? No, once again you pulled his helmet from his head, pressing a kiss to his stubbled cheek.
“We could be lovers.”
“I , I will be king
and you, you will be queen.”
What you didn’t see was Ahsoka with her com link talking to Luke , basically had a spy camera. 100% accidentally, but Luke knew you’d be safe.
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kiatheinsomniac · 4 years
Text
Chapter II: New Faces
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She gazed out of the window of the moving car while it passed the green scenery. Green was everywhere, seemingly every shade of it. The closest town had been passed well over forty minutes ago as they continued down the private road that led to the school.
Her parents weren't with her, of course. She'd been accompanied by the family driver as her parents were busy working. As per usual.
Trees drowned out everything else, the road twisted around them and roots began reclaiming the edges of the concrete, taking back their land where their brothers and sisters had been torn down to allow room for the human passage.
Occasionally, her (e/c) eyes would catch a glimpse of a rabbit or a deer — birds were common too but far from being as interesting. A sigh left her lips as she twisted the cap of her water bottle, throwing her head back to finish off the last of the refreshing liquid, leaving behind only a few stubborn drops that never seemed to leave the bottle.
The road began to open up and there was a definite clearing up ahead. (Y/n) swerved her head to get a better look at the grand gates which fenced off the school's grounds. The road became a wide gravel path and there were well-kept trees, hedges and flower beds decorating the field at the front of the building.
The building itself was magnificent. A grand château with such intricate detail that (Y/n) was unsure whether she'd be able to memorise it all despite how long she would be staying inside for.
When she stepped inside, the foyer put the outer decor to shame. An exquisite chandelier hung high before the split staircase which wound upwards towards the upper floor that was separated by a series of balconies, giving the foyer a tremendously high ceiling of four floors.
The deep green wallpaper was decorated with intricate designs as was the dark brown wood that was polished to perfection.
(Y/n) marvelled, suitcase in hand, spinning slowly on the spot as she looked upwards, watching the chandelier sparkle, flaunting its own worth. It looked old but kept too; yet another factor to add to the value of it.
The few boxes of her belongings were wheeled in on a trolley by the driver who placed them beside the staircase, giving his employers' daughter a quick nod of the head before leaving.
"Miss (L/n)!" A vaguely familiar voice greeted. (Y/n) lowered her gaze to see Miss Attaway descending the left staircase that curved inwards gradually to meet the base of the right staircase in a singular platform, two steps high. Between these two cases was a tall and very large marble pillar. "We're delighted to have you here!" Her smile faltered a little as she reached the final step, looking around. "Where are your parents?"
"Oh, they didn't come." She replied simply. She caught onto the pity in the vice principal's eyes but was bothered very little by it. She was used to her parents not being around after all.
"Not to see you off?" The teacher questioned, looking somewhat upset.
"Nope," (Y/n) replied simply. There was nothing else to say regarding the subject.
"Well alright then. . ." She composed herself quickly, smoothing down her skirt and straightening her back. "Welcome to Vermere Lake Grammar School. We're delighted to have you studying here alongside other hand-picked students." Her hand swept around the room. "I hope you find yourself comfortable enough here, I've been told by a few students here that they may take time to adjust to such luxuries but I believe a young lady like yourself shouldn't find that too difficult. It's simple to be at ease among such finery."
"I've been looking for a change in routine for a while. It's not a problem at all, the unfamiliarity is quite the comfort really." The (e/c)-eyed female assured her.
"Good, good." Pearl clapped her hands together, "Now, before I give you your room number and key (for privacy from other students) I have to tell you that you'll be sharing with some other students. We advise not unpacking for a while just to make sure you get along with everyone — if not, then we'll rearrange the room plans." She paused for a moment. "The girls' wing is to the left, the boys' is to the right. You're allowed to visit each other's rooms but not after curfew. Your uniform is already in your room. However, there's one rule that I'm sure you won't be particularly happy with: we don't allow phones here. You can use the school's phone to make calls home but mobiles are only allowed at the end of each term."
(Y/n)'s face had noticeably dropped at this. She depended on her phone for many aspects of her studies and was not about to hand it over.
"That's alright, I didn't bring it anyway." She lied.
"You didn't?" Miss Attaway looked shocked.
"No, I don't really have any friends to message and I figured that I would just use the school's phone to call my parents anyway." She prayed that she wouldn't get a notification or call of any kind during the conversation.
"Fair enough." Pearl seemed to believe the lie, after all, the logic made sense to (Y/n)'s character. "Well, you're in room one with three other girls." She held out her hand, "Here's your key."
(Y/n) took the small piece of metal that was attached to a blue plastic tag. Pearl left and she looked down at her bag and boxes of belongings before glancing up to the flight of stairs, sighing. But, it had to be done so she hefted her large suitcase up with great effort and set it by the banister at the top before jogging down to grab one of her boxes. A pair of heavier footsteps matched hers from the other side of the pillar. When she reached the base of the stairs, she was met by an incredibly tall, bronze-skinned boy who looked to be only slightly older than herself.
"Hi." He greeted in an American accent. It was heavy and yet there was something different to it, something about the tone in his voice that implied English wasn't his first language and yet he had mastered it to the point that the accent of his mother tongue was utterly hidden, "I'm Connor." He flashed a quick yet soft smile before glancing down at (Y/n)'s belongings. "Would you like a hand?"
"If you don't mind?" She replied, somewhat guiltily yet not wanting to deny a helping hand. They both reached for a box each. "I'm (Y/n) by the way."
"Nice to meet you." He spoke as they carefully made their way upwards, being sure to not trip seeing as the boxes blocked their view. (Y/n) found herself struggling a little but judging by the look of ease on Connor's face and the size of his arms, this was a simple task to him.
"So, have you managed to have a look around yet?" (Y/n) prompted a conversation as they descended to stairs to fetch the last two boxes.
"Just my room." The American answered, "Two of my roommates are here already: a British guy called Jacob and an Italian called Ezio — it seems like a really diverse school." He pointed out.
"Indeed." (Y/n) agreed as she hefted up the box in her hands, almost dropping it as her fingers slipped and she lost her grip. However, Connor quickly reached forward and caught it. Panic over.
"Careful." He warned gently, allowing (Y/n) to reclaim the box in her arms while uttering out a 'thank you'. She thanked him properly at the top of the stairs before the two of them parted. (Y/n) was on her own in carrying her belongings to her room now.
She hefted one of the heavier cardboard boxes in her arms, supporting the bottom out of fear it may rip, before proceeding to room one.
She pushed the door open with her foot and was greeted by an unfamiliar face. The girl was brown-haired, green-eyed and pale-skinned. She styled her tresses into two Dutch braids and a low bun with a few pieces falling in front of her face (which was splashed with freckles) she was slim with a few soft curves here and there. She wore some messy (yet sophisticated) eye makeup.
"Hey, I'm Evie Frye." She greeted with a beaming smile. (Y/n) returned the friendly gesture and dropped her box carefully at the side of a bed which was tucked into the far-right corner side-on against a window.
There were three windows in the room, two small ones that stretched up tall on the left and right-hand sides of the room and a large one that ran along the middle of the room, leaving a metre gap between the smaller windows — this large one also stretched high up.
There was another bed in the left corner in front of the door with the foot of the bed facing whoever walked in. A third bed was lined up against the large window in the middle of the room, hugging the wall side-on while the fourth bed was hugging the wall that held the door with the foot of the bed facing whoever walked in. The beds themselves were twin-sized, not too big nor too small.
An armoire was built into the close right corner of the room, forming an 'L' shape. Each bed had an old-styled container chest at the foot of it for the belongings of whoever slept there.
(Y/n) took in the old-fashioned blood red rug that ran along the length of the room down the middle, standing out against the polished wooden floorboards.
Evie had chosen the bed on the south wall to the right of the door when one walked in judging by the box that rested on the mattress. A bookshelf ran along the wall beside Evie's bed but was mostly empty bar a small collection on the middle shelf. (Y/n) assumed they belonged to her roommate.
There were two chaise lounges in the room: one in front of the bookcase and the other between (Y/n)'s bed and the one that rested against the wider window.
"(Y/n) (L/n)." She introduced.
"So, do you know anyone here?" The Brit prompted a conversation as she began unpacking her clothes, walking behind the changing screen in front of the armoire to begin filling it with her clothing.
"No. No one else from my school was requested to attend here. What about you?" She spoke as she began making her way back across the spacious room to collect the rest of her things from the top of the stairs.
"I'm here with my little twin brother Jacob and my boyfriend Henry." The freckled female replied.
"Oh, the guy that helped me to get my things upstairs (Connor) mentioned he was sharing a room with Jacob. Wait, you're a twin?" (Y/n) highlighted.
Evie turned around with a cheeky grin. "The older twin of us and I'm never going to let him forget it." She giggled, (Y/n) joined in the little moment of laughter.
"Alright, I'll be back in a minute, I'm going to get another box of my things." (Y/n) did as such and, trip after trip, brought all of her belongings into her room. She jumped onto the silver sheets of her bed, exhausted from lifting all those heavy boxes. By this time, Evie was almost completely unpacked and had begun to place her last few belongings into the chest at the end of her bed when someone else walked in.
She had straightened blonde hair and striking red lips along with an irritated and bitchy look on her expression. Most of her outfit was designer and the clothing seemed a little off for the overcast weather in the countryside, like she was more accustomed to hotter weather. She had a suitcase in one hand and a male with dark hair and a little stubble to match held a large crate of belongings in his arms.
(Y/n) sat up to inspect them.
"And you two are?" She asked in a rude tone with a Latin-rooted accent accompanying her voice. Was that Italian or Spanish?
"Evie Frye." The Brit spoke up, giving the blonde a weary look before gesturing over to (Y/n), "(Y/n) (L/n)."
"I'm Lucrezia Borgia but I'm sure you've already heard that I'm attending." She smirked as she stepped into the room, inspecting her red acrylic nails while the olive-skinned male behind her dropped her other belongings on the floor beside her.
"Actually, we don't exactly have reputations here yet." (Y/n) contributed, sitting up cross-legged on the bed. The blonde narrowed her eyes at this.
"Well here's mine: I'm at the top here. No-one undermines me, understood?"
"Look, I don't know who you are and frankly I couldn't care less about all this big talk and trying to flex by wearing every designer item you have on your first day." (Y/n) spoke bluntly. She came from a wealthy family too and easily could have done the same to flaunt such but had chosen not to; it simply wasn't in her nature, "I'm here to learn, not to play High School Musical fantasies, alright?" Neither of the two newcomers seemed to like this.
"You'll learn how it works one way or another." The man spoke up.
"And you are?" (Y/n) asked.
"Cesare Borgia." He spoke with a flirtatious smile, something about his presentation was unsettling. He radiated arrogance and self-destructive ambition.
"I'm not staying here. I'm going to switch." Lucrezia huffed as she wheeled her suitcase out the door, her brother following with the crate of her other belongings.
Evie watched them leave with an exhausted look. "What a handful." She muttered, "I'm glad o see that you don't take rubbish from anyone."
"I'll never understand people like that," (Y/n) added, sliding off her bed, "I don't really know any other way to react, really. I've never seen the point in all these social expectations, not to get too philosophical, I'm just used to my own company." It was clear now that this was her room and if there were any disagreements, the other party would be leaving, therefore, she began to unpack her things, beginning with dumping all her books out onto the bed to get them out of the way.
" 'A sensible man ought to find sufficient company in himself'." Evie quoted, eyeing her copy of Wuthering Heights.
"You know, I've always been keen on that line." (Y/n) smiled, glad to know they were very like-minded.
LOADING ANIMUS DATA...
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While (Y/n) was filling the bookshelf with her own selection of fiction, historical biographies and Victorian literature, two other girls entered the room.
One was a dark-skinned woman with equally dark and alluring hazel eyes framed by thick lashes and paired with full lips. She had medium-length hair in beautiful thick box braids. She seemed to have a friendly and approachable manner. She wore a loose yellow jumper with ripped denim jeans and a thick black belt.
The other was a short olive-toned female with shimmering grey-brown eyes and curly dark brown hair with rose-tinted lips and an air of confidence around her. Her fashion was rebellious — striking red plaid trousers with a black leather belt and a black band hoodie with red detailing.
"Hi, Lucrezia and Anne were supposed to be in here but we spoke it over with the two of them so we're going to be staying here instead." The darker female spoke up in a western French accent. "I'm Aveline de Grandpre and this is-" She let her friend finish.
"-Claudia Auditore." She spoke with a confident smile, she tossed her red rucksack onto the bed opposite the door, leaving Aveline with the bed by the widest window. "Do you two know each other already?" She gestured between (Y/n) and Evie.
"Oh, no, we just met." Evie answered, "What about you two?"
"Again, we only just met but I think we're all going to get along well." The Italian replied, "I know a few people here already: Ezio (he's my older brother) and Cesare and Lucrezia (believe me, they make snakes seem like better friends)."
"Oh, we briefly spoke to them." (Y/n) contributed, dropping onto the chaise between hers and Aveline's bed, "We caught onto that much soon enough."
"I know Connor, we were friends when we were little," Aveline added.
"Oh, I met Connor earlier." (Y/n) smiled, "He seems really sweet, he helped me to carry my things upstairs." Aveline smiled at this, recalling his soft and kind behaviour.
"My twin brother goes here too." Evie joined in, "His name's Jacob."
"Oh, I think Ezio was talking to him earlier." Claudia piped up, "Scar on his eyebrow, short hair?"
"Yep, that's him," Evie confirmed.
"The boys have had an argument already," Aveline spoke up. "Three of them kicked Cesare out of their room so now he has a spare room all to himself." She chuckled.
"Not surprised at all," Claudia spoke up, flopping onto the bed before groaning. "I want my phone back!"
(Y/n) considered telling them that she still had hers but decided against it. She would wait to see if she could trust them first. Until then, it would remain hidden in her bag on do not disturb.
"Yeah, I met a few people in Claudia's brother's room." Aveline continued, "Ezio, Jacob and Arno (he says he's from France but you wouldn't think it at hearing his voice) — Connor's in there with them in room one. They all seem to get along well."
"Perhaps the number's a blessing." (Y/n) joked, "If you're in room one, you all get on."
There was shouting down the hall, the girls all look to one another before poking their heads out of the door rather comically with one head above another.
"Maláka! That girl is insufferable!" A girl with an odd accent exclaimed while Lucrezia huffed and returned to her room at the end of the corridor. She'd most likely just given her 'queen bee' speech again.
The one who yelled had tanned skin, decorated with scars, that stretched over defined muscles. Her hair was pulled into a fishtail over her shoulder and decorated with a cord wrapped around it.
"She's a bitch, don't give her any attention." Claudia piped up, snagging her attention. The woman smiled.
"I'll keep that in mind." She grinned, glad that the blonde didn't have an army of pestering followers seeing as she acted as such. "I'm Kassandra."
"Claudia." The social butterfly of an Italian replied, "This is: Aveline, Evie and (Y/n)." She pointed to each girl in turn who all waved.
"Nice to meet you all." She smiled. Another girl walked out of her room. She was dark-skinned with honey brown eyes and box braids that were tied over her shoulder.
"Hey, I'm Aya." She spoke in a lilted tone. She still had her coat on.
"Cold?" Evie prompted, pointing to the clothing.
"I'm from Egypt, it's colder than winter here." She sighed.
"Tell me about it, I'm from Italy," Claudia spoke, walking out into the corridor.
"Greece." Kassandra contributed.
"England. I'm used to it." Evie shrugged.
"(Y/o)," (Y/n) added.
"America." Aveline finished. That was a lot of diversity.
"It's nice that we're getting along." Aya said, "I was expecting more bitchy girls like her." She gestured to the room that Lucrezia was in.
"I can hear you!" The blonde yelled from inside her room.
"That's the point!" Kassandra called back. The girls all laughed at this.
"To the year ahead of us." Kassandra smiled as she walked back into her room, all the others doing the same.
(Y/n) felt her lips tug up in a smile at all the friendly new faces around her and the obvious shift in her life. It unnerved yet excited her all at once and, for the first time ever, she was eager to meet all these new people and get to know them.
This really was the change that she had been needing.
Stay safe and social distance to protect your loved ones, everyone <3 -Kia C.
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sanerontheinside · 7 years
Text
feels
uuuuuum I can’t tell if I drifted thru povs however I felt like it, or if it counts as third-person omniscience, but I will say that having an actual panning camera image of the scene as you write it can be very annoying that way. 
also this is one of the only scenes I have written in full, and it’s been written for some months now, so I’m dropping it here in a moment of extremely questionable decision-making and doing my best not to question the fact that I just posted a major resolution point. 
then again, if this au ever gets written? by the time this scene comes up again it will either have changed significantly, or y’all won’t remember this ever happened, or both. so that’s not so bad. 
@deadcatwithaflamethrower​, @aidava​, hi I blame you for the frankenau
—note: Obi-Wan’s first mission as a Knight leaves him stranded on a planet being invaded and reclaimed by its neighbour world. eventually he does a successful blockade run, only to end up crashlanding on Tatooine. that is where Qui-Gon and Anakin find him. to skip over a lot more detail, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are eventually partnered again, and Anakin becomes their shared Padawan. Also Offworld subsidiaries reappear, which throws everyone for a loop. 
He awoke with his throat raw from a scream he couldn’t remember the reason for, which was frustrating. When the Force chose to make itself known, it wasn’t usually so skittish, but this time he had to go digging for the nightmare that had prompted this rude awakening.
“Obi-Wan?”
Shit. “Sorry, Qui-Gon. Didn’t mean to wake you.” He turned, and found himself staring across the encampment at a blearily blinking Jedi Master. Qui-Gon had propped himself up on one elbow on his pallet, his hair spilling over his shoulders in a sleep-tousled mess, deep blue eyes unfocused in the firelight. It was a surprisingly endearing sight, and Obi-Wan mustered an apologetic half-smile for waking him to cover the feeling of warmth he felt bloom in his chest.
“Bad dreams?” Qui-Gon asked, voice deep and sleep-roughened.
Obi-Wan bit his lip, gaze turning inward to finally track down the thread he’d nearly lost just now. “Bandomeer,” he said at last. “I hadn’t thought about that in a long time.”
“Offworld.” When he looked up again, Qui-Gon looked grieved. “Haven’t had to think about that in a long time.” He shifted, then gave Obi-Wan a shy look and raised the corner of his blanket in invitation.
Obi-Wan didn’t let himself think—simply got up, collecting his own blanket and draping it over his Master before settling in under his arm. The easy pressure of Qui-Gon’s breath at his back, the protective limb across his chest pulling him in and holding tight for a moment before relaxing—this comfort, this sense of safety was not one he’d had the chance to feel in long years.
In the Temple, the nightmares eased in Qui-Gon’s quarters, which still felt more like home than his assigned rooms. He ended up on that couch more often than not, and when he did cry out in his sleep—after missions gone horribly or with visions creeping into his dreams—Qui-Gon was there, running his hand through Obi-Wan’s hair and whispering comforts.
Here, though, the entire compound was saturated with a feeling of unease, and it leached into the surrounding woods. They’d wandered off as far as they’d dared, set up a campsite, but apparently not far enough. Obi-Wan’s dream had so unsettled him that his heart still beat rapidly in his chest. After a few moments, as the adrenaline drained away, he felt cold and a fine tremor ran through his body.
Behind him, Qui-Gon sighed deeply. “I think we’ll be awake for some time yet, Obi-Wan. Come on, up—let me stir the fire.”
Obi-Wan couldn’t help a faint, shiver-broken chuckle as he shifted to sit alongside his Master, pulling one of the blankets around his shoulders. “Staying awake with the nightmare-plagued Padawan again. Between Anakin and myself, it’s a wonder you’ve gotten any sleep in the last few years.”
“Sleep is something of a privilege rarely afforded to Masters with Padawans,” Qui-Gon informed him, the fond smile he threw over his shoulder warming Obi-Wan better than the struggling campfire.
Qui-Gon finally moved back to their nest of blankets, shifting until he sat shoulder to shoulder with the Knight. “I never meant to take on another Padawan,” he mused softly.
The remark that caught Obi-Wan entirely by surprise. “Qui-Gon?”
His former Master turned half-amused, half-regretful blue eyes on him and studied him calmly. “Certainly not Anakin.”
Obi-Wan tried to shake off the confusion he felt. “But—a nine-year-old boy, never trained to control his emotions, and so strong in the Force—he could put out a sun if he thought about it hard enough. We couldn't just ignore him.”
“Yes.” Qui-Gon looked back at the fire in the centre of their camp, flickering and popping loudly in the gaps between speech. He was seized with a sudden melancholy. “The Council displayed an unusual lack of common sense.”
Obi-Wan snorted. “Not so unusual, these days.”
Qui-Gon’s smile was a fleeting thing. “It was a desperate bluff, claiming Anakin as my Padawan.”
He felt Obi-Wan go very still against him, so he pressed on quickly before his agitation could choke him. And his profound shame, too, for the desperation that had coloured his bid to secure Anakin’s future.
“I hoped either Mace or Yoda, or maybe Plo, might dismiss my claim, and take on Anakin themselves.” He sighed and disturbed the blankets in a small ruffle, reaching up to drag his hands over his face. “Worked like a charm,” he added, with humourless laugh. Qui-Gon was not bitter, not in the least.
His former Padawan was staring at him, and Qui-Gon wasn't sure he wanted to know what the expression on his face held.
“I thought you—" Obi-Wan broke off with a slight cough. “You were bluffing?”
Qui-Gon glanced up at last, startled by the disbelief in the exclamation—and more, by some unnamed emotion caught behind tight shields that threatened to wrench itself out of Obi-Wan’s grasp. It almost felt like an old injury pulling at his attention again.
Obi-Wan was grappling with the elder Master’s admission and finding it rather difficult to contend with. “That was not the time, Qui-Gon!” he sputtered at last.
“There was no time, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon said softly. “The Council refused to accept Anakin outright, which was completely ridiculous—as though an untrained Force Sensitive of his potential could be any less dangerous than a Sith. I needed them to agree, at least to not turn him away.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think to warn you. I didn’t think—couldn't imagine—it would come to that. And I would have explained, afterward, but then—"
Then Naboo. That silent, strained trip through hyperspace, the careful way in which Master and Padawan had avoided each other. Qui-Gon’s features twisted with regret.
“Anakin was a joy to teach, and when you vanished he was the only one left to ground me in reality. It wasn't an easy time for us,” he added with a wry, strained attempt at a smile. “Thank all the little gods we found you, you helped us through so much.”
Obi-Wan shook his head, turned back to stare at the flames again. “Can't say I gave you a chance to say anything.”
Those beautiful blue-green eyes turned inward thoughtfully, and Obi-Wan absently bit at his lip. Then, apropos of nothing he said, “I wanted to ask you if we could remain partnered after my Knighting.”
Qui-Gon shifted in surprise. “Why didn't you?” He watched as the younger man looked away and his shoulders twitched in an aborted shrug, clearly fighting with himself. “Please, Obi-Wan, don't be afraid to tell me.” The flicker of a pained glance in his direction was enough to cause a physical twinge in him, and the silence weighed heavily on Qui-Gon’s mind.
“I thought you didn't want me,” Obi-Wan said at last, quietly. A barely audible hitch in breath escaped Qui-Gon’s control. “Though if truth be told, I was very grateful you weren’t with me on that mission. Nak was—hm. ‘Frustrating’ doesn’t begin to cover that level of Sith hells.”
Qui-Gon scoffed. “My Obi-Wan, better with you to all Sith hells than ever without you. I don't—" he hesitated a moment. “You thought I wouldn't want you?”
The younger Knight curled into himself, feeling small under the weight of that intent gaze. “I didn't realise you were bluffing. You told them I was ready for my Trials, but I didn't feel ready.”
At Qui-Gon's continued silence, Obi-Wan finally dragged his eyes up to meet his former Master's gaze, heart almost shuddering to a stop at the expression he saw there.
“You were long ready, Obi-Wan,” he said solemnly. “I, on the other hand, had done you a great disservice. I trusted you with every mission, and you’d long since been carrying the responsibilities of a Knight, but I thought—I thought I could protect you. I thought I would not lose you if I kept you close.” His attempt at a self-deprecating chuckle sounded pitifully broken even to him. “I didn't realise you'd think of my recommendation for you Trials as a dismissal. But then, how could you not? It was abrupt, presented completely without finesse.”
Qui-Gon broke off and closed his eyes, dragged in a shuddering breath and held it for a count of seven. “We didn't have the finest of beginnings. Old fool that I am, I thought the last few years with our rhythm, our partnership, our bond and the strength that it had—”
“You shut me out, I didn't know what to think.” Obi-Wan shrugged, without a tinge of bitterness.
“Ah.” Obi-Wan glanced up, saw Qui-Gon flinch. “That was—forgive me—"
Obi-Wan watched his former Master stutter to a halt with every false start. Here was a man usually so eloquent, always one to use words to their greatest effect, now incapable of saying something that must have weighed heavily on his mind for a long time.
He reached out and rested a hand over the other man’s, tracing delicate circles over smooth, soft skin. “Qui-Gon?”
“Obi-Wan.” Deep blue eyes opened, gaze intense, and locked with Obi-Wan’s. “There is not a single thing you could ever do that would have made me deny you as my apprentice then, nor now as my Knight-partner and friend.”
“Then why did you block the training bond?”
Qui-Gon winced, but he didn’t look away. “Your nightmares, Obi-Wan.”
“The visions?” Obi-Wan pulled back, surprised. “I—they bled through?”
Qui-Gon shook his head. “Only once, when you were still too afraid of losing your place at my side to tell me what they were. I sat with you that night.”
Obi-Wan nodded. “I remember.”
“I was always aware of them, even when I did not see them. I remembered them, and I could always tell when they started again. As they did before Naboo.”
The look of frank astonishment on Obi-Wan’s features melted into an aggrieved smile. “You always tell me to live in the moment, and yet that time you chose to listen to visions? What exactly were you thinking of when you blocked me out? What is it that you finally listened to?”
It was some time before Qui-Gon could answer that. His body betrayed him even as his mind tried, needed to get the words out. His throat constricted, refused to give way for any more than a tight pained sound. He let his head fall back, face upturned to the starry sky but eyes unseeing. The stars blurred, distant pinpoints washing out into silvery spots.
“From the moment I faced the Zabrak on Tatooine, I knew what your visions were trying to tell you.”
He heard a sharp intake of breath. Obi-Wan froze, muscles iron-tense all along Qui-Gon’s side, but his voice, when he spoke, was low and wrought of perfect calm. “The figure in black and red.”
“I could barely hold my own against him then, I knew I couldn’t hold him alone on Naboo. Maybe just long enough to weaken him, long enough to let you finish the fight and guarantee your survival.”
Silence. The Force, somewhere, roiled with emotions, but those emotions were all Qui-Gon’s. Obi-Wan hid himself away so well under his shields, Qui-Gon couldn’t sense even a whisper of what he must have felt. He’d imagined anger, which he well deserved. He’d imagined grief, even. But of all the things he might have expected, he’d never even imagined this death-still, accepting calm. A sudden intense pain flared in his chest, a depth of fear and loss he could not even begin to fathom, and he nearly curled into it.
And as if that were the sign for him to let go, Obi-Wan all but exploded. “Dammit, Qui-Gon! What did you always tell me? ‘Live in the Moment, Padawan, the future is always in motion, focus on the here and now’. And then you go and run ahead to face that thing alone. I thought I wasn’t good enough to fight at your side, that I’d failed you, lost your trust. You knew it would kill you, and you thought that would be better than—"
“Better than watching you die, Obi-Wan.”
The quiet words brought him up short, it seemed. Again, Qui-Gon wasn’t sure what to think, but at least the air between them wasn’t frozen still in total impassivity.
He drew a shaky sigh and turned his head away. “Three years later, you still hadn’t returned from a mission that had gone badly sideways, and I was forced to face my greatest fear anyway.”
For a long moment there was nothing but quiet again. He thought Obi-Wan might have dozed off, letting the confession hover over them like the heavy weight it had been all these years. What was a few more hours, anyway, before Obi-Wan was driven from the warmth of their nest of blankets by the morning light—before they never spoke of this again?
Then Qui-Gon hissed, startled, as a cold nose found its way into the join of neck and shoulder, and icy hands burrowed into his robes. “Obi-Wan?” he rasped, bewildered.
Hot tears on his skin, against his cheek, silent shudders wracking the body that pressed close to him. Qui-Gon let out a quiet keening noise at the feeling that wound itself around his chest and squeezed, and pulled Obi-Wan closer, wrapping his arms tightly around the quivering body, one hand sliding up into the copper hair and tightening on the nape of his neck.
It might have been an hour later, drifting on the edge of sleep, swollen, aching eyes soothed by the night cold, that he just barely heard Obi-Wan’s vehement whisper, “Don’t ever do that again, Qui. Promise me.”
Qui? he thought, the smallest smile twitching at his lips. “I promise,” he whispered, solemn.
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40sandfabulousaf · 5 years
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Hokay, how I dealt with - and am still dealing with - the end of a very long term partnership. There's still stuff to sort out but this isn't what the post is about; what I'm sharing is how I remained composed and cared for myself in order not to spiral downwards into depression so that life didn't come apart.
It's also why I chose to use a body photo - our mental and emotional wellbeing falls under holistic health. Without further ado, here's what I did, from the early days and my progress till now, a few days shy of 2 months from calling it quits.
1. Shutting him out.
This may seem cold and uncaring; however it's anything but. Older followers will recall how much effort I put into cooking veggies the way he liked them so he would actually eat them. After splitting up, I am my priority and that's how it has to be, at least in my case.
He's blocked across all communication platforms, including social media. I don't want to hear about him, see him, talk to him, nor know anything at all about his life whilst I adjust to caring for my emotional wellbeing.
2. Giving myself the patience, encouragement and support that I would give a family member or best friend.
Although I wanted to get over things yesterday, realistically, it takes time and a lot of effort to get there. So I told myself never mind when it felt yucky, especially during the first week. I comforted myself the way I would've done for someone dear to me.
3. Grieve.
I allowed myself to feel everything. I cried from time to time for 3 days, ate mashed potatoes, potato chips and ramen (no sweet tooth, so Ben & Jerry's wasn't my friend) and became one with the couch.
After that, I resumed exercise, started filling the kitchen and fridge with foods I like, as well as made the arrangements for a part-time domestic helper to come by weekly and help with the chores I can't do due to my old injury.
4. Mindset shift.
This, I think, is the second most important thing I did. It allowed me to feel in charge of my life. So, I repeated these affirmations to replace irrational thoughts.
Instead of 'he's left again' and waiting for weeks, I substituted that with 'I'm not going back to him', 'It's over', 'I don't want to be with him'.
Rather than reach out and tell him what a bastard he is, I told myself that my silence will tell him all that he needs to know - that it's over, I won't let him back into my life so that he can hurt me again and I want nothing to do with him.
5. Reclaim my power.
This is the single most important thing that I did and all the acts of independence soon followed with greater ease and it ties with point number 4.
He doesn't have all the control to waltz in and out of my life according to his temper tantrums. I can protect myself as well and I jolly well will do so, so that my life won't fall apart. Even though I'm at a stage where I'm adapting to my new life, I still repeat this affirmation several times a day - 'I take all my power back'.
By taking these steps, life returned to almost normal, week by week. I spend time with loved ones and friends, especially women. I shop because... heck, I need to reward myself too, you know 😉 I listen to music and dance because I feel good. I watch happy videos of cute babies, puppies and little bunnies.
And... erm, well, this is embarrassing to admit because at 42yo, we just don't talk very much about these things. So erm, yeah, I got to know other dudes. For now, I'm not ready to date and it isn't fair for the other party to be a rebound guy. However, I'm open to friendships and casual chats. If there's a spark or something happens, then it happens (and yay for that!).
So here's how I got back to being and feeling almost normal. If I can at 42yo, so can you in your teens, 20s or 30s. You have a wider pool of potential partners too. As for me, knowing that there're options out there even at my age helped with my self confidence.
I am fine and you will be as well. Trust and believe in yourself because we are our biggest allies and supporters. Hope this helps! Till my next post (with my face so you can see I've not become a dishevelled mess), stay sweet! 🙂
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