I don't know how I do that but I'm friends with so many trans people

This is, tentatively, Rize.

She is the combination of Nagoryuki (Guilty Gear) and Rachel Alucard (Blazblue). Relating to the concept of a data-Backyard, she has the role of a program meant to ensure the integrity of the physical world through Intervention. However, overuse of Intervention causes cracks in reality, therefore its use is controlled strictly.

This relates to the thematic idea of her character as “the Observer Who Averts Her Eyes." Nago's long meditation after the events of the Crusades combined with Rachel's nature as an Onlooker, cursed not to intervene in events, resulted in Rize's fitfully slumbering nature. Rather than Observe the events of the world, she wishes to sleep until the world has no need of her and is cursed by nightmares of terrible memories and future possibilities. Her story is about finding meaning in Observing individuals, rather than viewing the world as a single disastrous story.

(I'll talk more about her personality and her design below the cut)

I had a really hard time creating her! Honestly, I really didn't want to anything mess up. I feel happy with this art, but I want to draw her more and really get a grip on who she is. She looks really elegant, but I think there's more to her than that!

I mentioned before that fighting game characters are adjective filled, with Nago and Rachel being no exceptions! Rize is more focused on Rachel's style than I originally intended, but I hope parts of Nago still shine through. His older appearance is why I designed her around the age of 20, rather than sticking with Rachel's younger look. I'm not super comfortable with the type of character that is very old, but still looks young!

She's a gothic, lolita-inspired vampire, but I had more of Nagoryuki's "noble" personality in mind when I drew her. I imagine that she would offer advice to the people she meets, but sometimes the advice might be, "Don't wake me up from a nap." She can be a bit thorny, which draws on Rachel's "rose with thorns" tsundere motif to reshape the kindness both vampires possess.

There are parts of her that seem very childish in my mind, like the idea that she can sleep until the world ends or her grumpy reactions to others, but her deeper personality indicates that she's incredibly guilty about the events she witnessed and simply at a loss in what else she can do. It seems most of her childishness comes from a lack of sleep more than anything else. Her eyes are Nago's Blood-Rage mode, which implies she's also pretty hungry.

Originally, she was going to be named Arisu (Alice), with Bloodedge (Baiken x Ragna) being a Cheshire leading her to the source of the plot's problems. If this was a real game, I think that would still be the case as a relationship. However, with a different name, the allusion isn't nearly as prevalent...

Instead, Rize comes from Riza, from E-riza-besu, an homage to Elizabeth Bathory. It's supposed to be from romanji so it calls to mind the idea that it might be a translation she preferred. That’s not how you convert Eliz-a-beth into romanji, but I thought it was an acceptable break from reality for style. That’s the running idea for ArcSys, generally.

Rachel has servants named Nago- which was ironic- and Gii, who frequently take her wrath. Rize's servants are Tama (Ms. Umbrella in the art) and Chester (Mr Plushy next to her). Chester is a stuffed creature in the form of a Jester, meant to put her in a better mood after a nightmare. Tama, as mentioned in another post, is a joke about how you can take the first syllable of Excalibur, Ex, and say it as Eggs (Tamago). It's a really stupid joke, but it indicates that Tama is actually the sword of myth simply transformed and given sentience via old age. I don't think she takes her short temper out on either of them, but if she does then it's probably Chester. Lots of people punch pillows to feel better, so I don't think Chester minds as long as someone fixes him should he be damaged. She also has another servant, but they aren't created yet.

Gameplay wise, she'd be difficult to balance. Every small movement would inch her closer to a true Blood-Rage, which would significantly drain her health. To get around this, the player would have to use Rachel's Wind Drive to maneuver either Rize or her opponent into her range. To offset the difficulty of that, she has quite a lot of power. It might actually end up making her a grappler-type of character. Rize is the kind of character who changes the color palette of an anime when she shows up. Super strong, y'know?

Anyway, this is probably my favorite of the "ArcSys Singularity designs" that I made. I also tried out Slayer and Rachel as a combination, but it wasn't quite as fun. I feel very excited with Rize! I wanna draw her more.

4?

Thank you 😘😘

4. How much do you trust the reader?

Oof well the reader im most concerned by atm (cos ~theoretically stumbling through a draft😓) is me, and I'm not sure I trust that bitch at all 😅😅

This concept [particularly re ~comprehending the story/aspects] is a bit of a tricky balancing act I think, bc if you as the writer have sat with something for a long time espec while editing/rewriting/tinkering it can be really hard to get a sense of what does come through clearly, espec in a first/single read. And with serialised fiction like multi part fic which isn't published at a fast regular clip, it's impossible to know how much a reader might recall about what's happened already (maybe fic chapters need a 'previously on' segment?!).

Plus and maybe especially as a lover of ambiguity, it can be really hard to know if the sense/s you've tried to convey as an author have come across coherently. I think that's just something you have to accept if that's a style you prefer, and you can figure out how to develop certain aspects/skills better to help; if you want to be surer of things coming across relatively clearly you may have to explicate pretty explicitly and/or repeat more.

But I suppose this is why writing primarily for oneself is important -- if it works for you, then maybe by definition it works for this idealised reader 🤪 both in terms of quality but also of joy, eg if you include easter eggs which make you cackle, maybe they'll brighten someone else's day too!!

further, if you wanna trust the reader, you've gotta create a scenario where they can trust the writer, SuReLy? For example, if you as writer HAVEN'T nailed down what's happening with characters on and off the page or how truthful they're being (in convos but also ~pov) that tends to show; trust of hypothetical ppl probs needs to be earned too.

Ofc whomsoever 'the reader' is is gonna be varied! Can you trust that any reader is going to pick up on your context clues? Obviously not! But I do think writing towards an idealised good faith audience concept can be encouraging.

I suppose it also depends on what you're hoping to trust the reader to do tho! if you can identify, maybe you can ~aid:

Eg: to read your story? Well OK, maybe you can promote it better. To read your story alllll the way to the end? Well OK, maybe you need to focus on making it continually engaging; cut some chaff; have an endpoint in mind. Trust the reader to respond/feed back to the story? Well you can at least request that if it's important to you, and specifying what areas you particularly seek it for will likely help. Trust the reader to interrogate the story? Well, I think certain styles probably encourage this. Trust the reader to reread the story? Well, you better make it engaging then!! Etc etc

Ultimately, I've had ppl comment on my stories in a way which implies they've misunderstood what I was trying to convey, maybe that means I've left it too vague, or that they were bringing their own assumptions and/or didn't read carefully. Does that mean I should trust no readers/completely change how I write? I don't think so, espec when I've also had other ppl engage with the ambiguity in a positive way, or try to crack a secret of the story open, or take the time to try to understand references they weren't familiar with at first glance, or ref things implied-but-not-stated as if they were on the page. It DOES mean though I can consider that it may be worth clarifying or repeating important points if I want them to def be understood by more readers, and that there's some areas where it's probs worth being more specific (eg did I think the setting was obvious cos I could imagine it clearly but maybe that didn't translate and someone could get it totally wrong?). Also how you approach this for different kinds of stories can be v different! Eg a 1500 word short story can easily be v ambiguous & fun for a reader to play with interpreting vs a 200k one probs needs more clarity to not alienate the audience -- if you're referencing line 1 on line one million without any mention of that topic in btwn, I'm not sure you can expect ppl to remember what you're on about!

So I suppose it's about deciding what reader/s you wanna be able to trust -- just you? Just an idealised perf reader type? Or more broadly, and if so how wide? Can you make it work on multiple levels?? And overall yea, I don't think you can be asking an audience to trust you without making it abundantly clear you're trustable at storytelling!

Writing meme: ashamed edition!

Hi! I'd love for you to respond to this, but ONLY if you're comfortable! I'm planning on writing a hetalia fanfic with a trans character. I researched a bit, but I feel that my fic could be read as problematic: my trans character (MTF) is introduced as her assigned gender with a different name, only to be uncovered later. She dates pre transition, but get back together. Is this realistic? You've written fic w/ trans characters before, so can you give any tips of advice? Thank you for reading!

hey dear, thank you for reaching out! i’m more than comfortable giving advice but remember that i’m just one trans person, so this does not represent a consensus- i encourage you to reach out to a trans friend to do a sensitivity reading, if you and your friend are comfortable with that! 

i say this because a lot of people would say this scenario of portraying someone pre- and post-transition is a no-no, but i think it’s doable (i’ve done it myself!) if approached in a sensible way. 

and yes i do think it’s possible for a character to date someone, break up for unrelated reasons, transition and then meet that person again and fall in love again. it’s a sweet idea! it’d be lovely to see your character grow and be more content and confident and finally *herself*, and find love as herself :)  plus at least in my experience, a lot of cis partners of trans people do a lot of serious questioning and self exploration when their partner comes out so it can be interesting from the other character’s perspective as well. i’ve seen for example many gfs/wives of trans women realize they’re wlw when they previously never questioned their sexuality. so it can be an interesting journey for both characters to go on and for you as a writer to explore! 

my first bit of advice is to read read and read. read what trans people have to say on the subject of writing- i know there’s more than one post floating around on tumblr with advice for cis people on how to write a trans character. and read the experiences of trans people, how they talk about their own “egg cracking” (if you don’t know, i’d start by searching what “cracking your egg” means- and hint: it’s not always “i played with dolls as a child”), transition and their own past present or their future plans.  and as you read remember that there is no singular standard “trans experience”- transition is not linear, and there’s no such thing as a transition that is “complete” or “incomplete”. some trans people feel really intense dysphoria, others don’t and are mostly fine with the body they have. some trans people want to start hrt asap and to have every medical procedure available, for others, coming out is enough, in many cases they might want to have surgeries, but hormones are the only thing that’s accessible because of the cost of surgeries and long waiting lists. 

keep in mind that everyone experiences gender in their own unique way, so a trans female character doesn’t have to be hyper feminine, and a trans male character doesn’t have to be super masculine to be “good representation”. 

also i’d say to read up on harmful tropes to avoid as well, i’m gonna tell you some just off the top of my head and offer advice on how to handle tricky subjects - portraying trans people especially trans women as violent or predatory/creepy is a big NO (i know this might be obvious to you, but this is also for everyone else reading this out there). there’s nothing wrong with writing negative or morally grey characters but this is a damaging and dehumanizing trope with a long history of being used as propaganda against us. 

- on the same note i’d say to avoid portraying your character as easily offended, overly sensitive, quick to anger etc etc. another (more modern) trope used to mock and ultimately harm trans people is to paint us as “special snowflakes”

 --> a good thing to remember is that anger can be portrayed as righteous, as it is in this situation, and assertive so that would be a good place to start if you have to write about the character being rightfully angry and sad, upset at discrimination she might experience. 

- avoid the dramatic scene in which a character is found out to be trans by undressing them and “revealing” something about their body. also tied to transphobic ideas (trans people “trick” people into thinking they are their gender) and to trans panic defense that legitimizes the murder of trans people. 

 --> a good way to reveal that your character is trans is... simply to make her come out. have a talk! there’s so many possibilities from it being heavy and awkward, to light hearted and heartwarming :) 

- this one is a more complicated thing to handle, because i know some will disagree with me on it... but i’d advise you to steer away or ask for a second opinion/sensitivity reader if you’re gonna write The Sad Mirror Scene TM in which a trans person gazes at their own body in the mirror (or even without the mirror tbh) and points out everything that is “male/female” about it. personally i think it’s bad but in a more subtle way... the focus on our bodies and everything that is considered “wrong” with it can have creepy or outright transphobic implications. also it’s way overdone js 

 --> instead of the long gazing scene i’d mention those things in passing and incorporate them into her daily life, because it is something we live with every day and not just in all-at-once intense dysphoria sessions: maybe she has broad shoulders, so she wears a cute blouse with a lot of ruffles to conceal that a bit; or maybe she’s out and about, on the way to her laser hair removal appointment, and feels awkward about having a bit of shadow (so she treats herself to buying a new concealer on the way home);

 --> also don’t forget about small moments of gender euphoria and trans joy!!! so maybe she gets a new haircut after growing her hair out for a long time, or takes her estrogen for the first time and cries of happiness, or she tries on her fave bra and notices that her breasts have grown a little bit or they feel sore which is a good sign!. etc etc. these are just examples so don’t sweat it :D  but showing the happiness that comes with being trans and not just the sadness of it is really important imo for everyone thinking about writing a trans-centric story 

- in general i’d be careful for anything that implies trans people aren’t “really” the gender they are, or that deep down we’ll always be our assigned gender. sometimes it’s not the outright essentialist statements but the more subtle things that can go undetected to cis people, but we see them. stuff like: the character deadnaming/misgendering themselves (so for example, when she comes out, no “remember deadname?”, or, “i used to be a man”) equating genitals with gender (even as a joke), or making the cis experience out to be universal (that feel when pms, am i right ladies? :) <-- this kind of statement even in good intentioned fun can feel exclusionary and should be perceived as such by your character), body shaming or implying certain non-conforming characteristics (ex: a strong jawline, broad shoulders, narrow hips, small breasts on a woman) are inherently “bad” or inherent to trans people only (plenty of cis women have all of those above listed things). 

 --> i know that dysphoria can make these last things appear to be inherently negative to the person, but you might counterbalance this by making her confident about other aspects of her personality, and making your other characters compliment her and paint her insecurities in a new light. for example she might feel self conscious about her height, but maybe her love interest loves her beautiful, long legs; or maybe more simply unrelated to anything she’s insecure about, she’s smart and hard working, she’s a science genius, she’s the best of her judo class and could kick your ass, she has really nice hair, or really striking eyes, or a very pretty color of very chipped nail polish. details are the key!!! and remember that value and beauty are subjective!!!! 

and last but most important of all... please write your character as HUMAN!! we trans people are just regular people, like anyone else in the world.  we aren’t just defined by transness, we have lives and passions and talents and our own problems completely unrelated to being trans.  so please keep that in mind while writing your gal! and don’t let everything i’ve typed above intimidate you, most of it is obvious stuff and i’m sure you’ll be fine! good luck with your story!