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#if men are getting shamed for their platonic gestures being read as gay
payphoneangel · 1 year
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The fact that some people actually blame tumblr shipping culture for the reason men can’t show intimacy to each other without being perceived as gay is fucking mind boggling to me
#vinny types#look. look. I’m aware of the blog with which I’m posting this on#and the website it’s hosted on#stones in glass houses and all that#but the idea that shaming men for being intimate and vulnerable with each other#began in 2007 with the birth of tumblr#is INSANE#like it’s been around for hundreds if not thousands of years in at least some context#if men are getting shamed for their platonic gestures being read as gay#is that not perceived as a bad thing bc BEING GAY HAS HISTORICALLY BEEN STIGMATIZED#bc I look at that and go ‘huh. that totally sucks that straight men have weaker support networks#bc they don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable with their male friends.#it’s almost like homophobia negatively impacts everyone 🤔’#not ‘wow I’m lacking intimacy in my life bc I can’t be vulnerable with my friends. how can I blame women for this?’#like do I think that internet shipping culture is overall a good thing? no#i think it’s negatively impacted how people think about narratives themes and characters#but real life people feeling ashamed and potentially even facing violence for being vulnerable with peers of the same gender#is NOT being caused by shippers#if YOU think it’s bad to be PERCIEVED as gay then you have to recognize#how being visibly queer is still a dangerous thing to be#like yeah ppl misinterpreting your identity isn’t a pleasant feeling#but the percieved threat of misinterpretation#is not equating to the problem that it’s causing (lack of male intimacy)#it’s fucking annoying when men get mad at a problem THEY caused and then blame women and queer ppl for it#and yes of course women and queer ppl can perpetuate these stereotypes too#but once again I feel like that is ignoring the root cause of the issue#anyway if you made it this far into this tag vent congrats 🎊#i saw a tiktok and it reminded me of this argument I had with an ex#over samwise and Frodo being in love no less
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drivingsideways · 3 years
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k-drama rec list
Prior to 2020 I’d maybe watched 2 k-dramas in my entire life, but this year I got sucked in, thanks to some great recs, and y’know, *gestures * everything.  
I think I’d held off watching kdramas because my impression of them was limited to romances that I didn’t enjoy at all. But this was the year I discovered the equivalent of “gen fic” kdrama- dramas that had wonderful ensemble casts, strong story lines that weren’t entirely romance focused and also a variety in terms of themes and styles. A big plus was that I found so many of these dramas had women leading the writers’ room, and seeing the effect of that in the story telling. (Notable exceptions: a certain “star” writer who should please stop inflicting her badly written, formulaic crap on the world, yes Kim Eun-Sook, I mean you, and whoever wrote that trashfire Flower of Evil)
So here I am with my own rec list! Caveat- these are mostly not the dramas released in 2020, I’m still playing catch up! :)
Under the cut for length
My Mister/ My Ahjussi  (2018, Written by Park Hae-Young, Directed by Kim Won-Seok, starring Lee Sun-kyun and Lee Ji-eun aka IU) 
This was definitely my absolute favourite of the shows I watched this year across western/ asian media. It’s a story about the thread that binds us all and the ineffability of human connection. It’s also a story that deconstructs ideas of masculinity and honour and shame in a non-western context, but with an extremely compassionate touch.  It’s a story that doesn’t shy away from showing the consequences of material and spiritual poverty; and how one can so easily feed into the other. It’s a love story that isn’t a romance, except that it’s a Romance. It’s about finding salvation in one another and in the kindness of strangers.  It’s about choosing life, and picking yourself up off the floor to take that one last step and then the next and then the next. The one quibble I have with the series is that it could have been better paced, it does get extremely slow after the half way mark. But god, do they land the ending. Both Lee Sun-kyun and IU turn in absolutely heartbreaking performances, and fair warning, be prepared to go through an entire box of tissues watching this series. 
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Life  (2018,  written by Lee Soo-yeon  and directed by Hong Jong-chan, starring Lee Dong-wook, Cho Seung-woo, Won Jin-ah, Lee Kyu-hyung, Yoo Jae-myung and Moon So-ri.)
Medical dramas are very much not my thing, and I wouldn’t have taken a chance on it except that @michyeosseo said I should, and she was right! It’s a medical drama in the sense that it’s set in a hospital, but rather than a “case-fic” format, this is actually a sharp commentary on the corporatization of health care, and the business of mixing, well, money and what should be a fundamental human right. Writer Lee Soo-yeon was coming off the global success of Stranger/Secret Forest S1 when this aired, so I understand that expectations were probably sky-high, and people were disappointed when this show didn’t give them the adrenaline rush that they wanted. On the other hand, I thought that this outing was really much more nuanced in terms of the politics and also how the ending doesn’t allow you the luxury of easy-fixes. This show has a great ensemble cast, and while it took me a while to get used to Lee Dong-wook’s woodenness (i ended up calling him mr.cadaver after watching this and was surprised to learn that he’s very popular?), in the end I was quite sold on his version of angry angst-bucket elder-sibling Dr.Ye Jin-woo. His best scenes were with Lee Kyu-hyung who turns in a lovely, achy performance as the paraplegic Dr. Ye Seon-woo who just wants to live a normal life. The love story between the two brothers is actually the emotional backbone of the story, and I think they landed that perfectly. 
My one quibble with writer-nim is that she ended up writing in a forgettable and somewhat (for me at least) uncomfortable romance between the characters played by Won Jin-ah and Cho Seung-Woo. I think part of my uncomfortable-feeling was that I got the strong sense that the writer herself didn’t want to write this romance, it was as if she was being made to shoe-horn it in for Studio Reasons, and she basically grit her teeth and did the worst possible job of it.  I do wish we could have absolutely had the OT3 of my dreams: Moon So-ri/Cho Seung-woo/Yoo Jae-myung like, c’mon TV gods MAKE IT HAPPEN, just...look at them!!!! 
Anyway, that apart, I think this was a very engaging series, and by engaging, I also mean thirst-enabling, see below. 
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 Stranger (aka Secret Forest  or Forest of Secrets) S1 & 2 : (2017-, Written by Lee Soo-yeon, directed by 
2017′s smash hit aired a much anticipated second season in 2020, and I managed to catch up just in time to watch that live, so that was thrilling :D . Writer Lee Soo-yeon  mixes up thriller/office comedy/political commentary in an ambitious series. I think S1 is more “exciting” than S2 in terms of the mystery and pacing,  but S2 is far more dense and interesting in terms of political commentary because it takes a long hard look at institutional corruption and in true writer-nim fashion doesn’t prescribe any easy solutions. Anyway, please enjoy public prosecutor Cho Seung-woo and police officer Bae Doona as partners/soulmates kicking ass and taking names in pursuit of Truth, Justice and just a goddamn peaceful meal, along with a stunningly competent ensemble cast. Also yes, Han Yeo Jin is a lesbian, sorry, I don’t make the rules. 
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Search: WWW  (2019, Written by Kwon Do-Eun, directed by Jung Ji-hyun & Kwon Young-il, starring  Im Soo-jung, Lee Da-hee, Jeon Hye-jin)
GOD. Where do I start? +1000 for writer Kwon Do-Eun saying “fuck the patriarchy” in the most grandiose way possible, i.e. absolutely refusing to acknowledge that it exists. Yes, this is that power fantasy, and it’s also a fun, slice-of-life  tale about three women navigating their way through work, romance, national politics and everything in between. It’s true that I wasn’t entirely sold on the amount of time spent on the romance, and I really wish they’d actually had a textual wlw romance, though the subtext through the entire series is PRACTICALLY TEXT. But still, it maintains that veneer of plausible deniability and I think queer fans who are sick of that kind of treatment in media have a very valid grouse against the show. On the other hand, personally I felt that the queer-platonic vibe of the show is very wonderful and true to real life, and it was only reinforced by the ending. This is a show written by a woman for women (like me), and it shows. 
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Hyena  (2020, Written by Kim Roo-Ri, directed by Jang Tae-yoo & Lee Chang Woo, starring  Kim Hye-soo and Ju Ji-hoon )
Those of you who’ve been watching hit zombie epic Kingdom are probably familiar with Ju Ji-hoon’s brand of sexiness already. I had not watched Kingdom and got hit in the face by Mr.Sexy McSexyPants’ turn as a brash, privileged-by-birth, up and coming lawyer who gets completely runover by the smoking hot and incredibly dangerous fellow lawyer/competitor from the other side of the tracks in the person of Kim Hye-Soo. When I say they set the room on fire, I mean it, ok. Every single scene between these two is an actual bonfire of sexual attraction and emotional hand grenades, and they’re both absolutely riveting to watch. “Flower of Evil” wishes they had what this show has- an actual grown up romance as opposed to a thirteen year old twilight fan’s idea of an adult romance. 
The “lawyer” shenanigans and the “cases” are hit or miss, and I think the occasional comedy fell flat for me. But that’s not why I mainlined like 6 episodes of this series overnight like a coke addict, and that’s not why you’re going to do it either. It’s so RARE, even in these enlightened days to find a female character like Jung Geum-ja: hard as nails, unapologetic about it, and not punished by the narrative for it. The best part for me is that she feels like a woman’s woman, not a man’s idea of what a Strong Female Character should be. Anyways, when I grow up I want to have what Kim Hye-soo has ok?
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Other dramas that I watched this year, quickly rated:
The King: Eternal Monarch (3/10 and those 3 points are only for the combined goodness of second leads who deserved better- Jung Eun Chae, Woo Do Hwan and Kim Kyung Nam. Please head over to my AO3 and read my attempts to fix this garbage fire and rescue their characters from canon)
Flower of Evil (-10/100, dont @ me)
Tale of the Nine Tailed (5/10, I think it succeeds at what it set out to do, which is a light hearted, sweet fantasy-romance-melodrama, plus “second lead” Kim Beom will make you cry as the hot mess of a half human/ half fox spirit ALL TEARS character. I think if you’re into kdrama romances as a genre, this is probably a good bet?)
Signal  (7/10,  This was the first full kdrama I watched this year and would definitely recommend. It’s a police procedural with time travel shenanigans and has an engaging plot, good pacing, texture and compelling performances. My one disappointment with it was the way they wrote Kim Hye-soo’s character. As literally the only female character to survive in any way, she was given short shrift, and toward the end it really began to grate on me.)
Six Flying Dragons - (7/10, also would recommend if you’re interested in Korean historicals. It definitely already feels a bit dated in terms of styling and production values, and even scripting and acting choices. But it has a good balance of fantasy and history and political commentary. I was not a fan of Yoo In-Ah’s performance in this series, but it’s not anything that would make you want to nope out of the series. It’s GoT , if GoT was thoughtful about politics and characters and not the misogynist, racist trashfire that it became.)
My Country: The New Age - (3.5/10, and that’s 3 points to Jang Hyuk’s fan and 0.5.points to Woo Do Hwan’s heaving bosom. If you like your historical drama/fantasy with very pretty men, very gay subtext -seriously RIP to show makers who thought they could hetero it but didn’t account for Woo Do Hwan’s Tragic Face- lots of blood and tears and very nonsense plot, this is right up your alley. I probably would have enjoyed it more in other circumstances, I think? But this one just annoyed me too much at the time! 
I have a couple of more dramas to watch on my list, that’ll probably carry me over into 2021, so see ya on the other side! :D
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btssavedmylifeblr · 7 years
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Everybody wanna love you - Pt. 2 (M)
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Summary: BTS gets drunk and reads fan fiction together.
Pairing: Platonic OT7
Genre: Ridiculously filthy smut and boys being boys
Word Count: 4621
Warnings: The fan fiction the boys read is quite explicit, but the boys stay (mostly) platonic.
A/N: All of the fan fiction the boys read in this is written (badly) by me. Any resemblance to other people’s stories is coincidence. I am not trying to make fun of anyone other than myself as an avid reader and writer of BTS fan fiction.
Part One     Part Two    Part Three
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“Why are we doing this?” Yoongi asks as he passes around shot glasses to the table, filling Jin’s glass with soju before handing the bottle over to Jungkook to fill everyone else’s, then heading back into the kitchen for snacks. 
 “They need to know!” Jin shouts after him from the head of dining table, gesturing at the three youngest who are sitting together at the other end. Jungkook is busy pouring shots for everyone, delighted at being included in both the drinking and the risqué discussion. Taehyung is twirling his glass on the table and Jimin is frowning down at his empty glass, waiting for Jungkook to fill it. 
 “Why do they need to know?” Yoongi calls from the kitchen, pulling down a bag of chips from the top shelf of a cupboard and pouring some into a bowl for the table. 
 “They need to know how weird it gets!” Jin shouts back, laughing. 
 “I don’t want to know how weird it gets…” Jimin whines, head collapsing onto his arm which he has stretched across the table as he holds out his glass to Jungkook.
Hoseok has returned from his bedroom with his laptop and situated himself on Jin’s right side, chuckling to himself as he pulls up the fansites he’s familiar with. Taehyung leans across the empty seat next to him to see what Hoseok’s looking at. Taehyung’s eyes widen as he stares at the contents of the computer screen. 
 “Eh-hmn…” Yoongi clears his throat behind Taehyung, who startles and then quickly slides out of Yoongi’s designated seat next to Hoseok. 
 “Isn’t Jungkookie a little young for all this?” Taehyung teases, ruffling Jungkook’s hair as he scoots in next to him to make room for Yoongi and the bowl of snacks. 
 “Hey!” Jungkook objects, squirming out from under Taehyung’s hand, and gathering up his glass of soju protectively. 
 “He’s starring in it, Tae!” Jin says in a voice of barely contained laughter, smacking the table in emphasis. 
 “Plus…” Namjoon chimes in, leaning across the table from his seat on Jin’s left. “How’s he supposed to go out and get laid in the future if he can’t even handle reading about it?” Namjoon raises his glass of soju to Jungkook across the table. Jungkook raises his glass right back, giggling to himself.
 “You know that fan fiction is terrible advice for both relationships and sex, right?” Yoongi replies, raising his eyebrow at Namjoon in concern.
 “Yeah…” Namjoon nods. “But it sure is entertaining!”  Namjoon and Jin both burst into laughter and Jin wraps his arm around Namjoon, muttering something the younger boys can’t hear and chuckling conspiratorially.
 “You two really are the biggest perverts…” Jimin says, gesturing at their leader and their eldest member together before downing his glass of soju. 
 “Yah!” Jin shouts, hands on his hips. “No drinking before your elders!”
 “Sorry hyung…” Jimin mutters, holding out his glass to Jungkook for a refill. 
 “Why are we the biggest perverts?” Namjoon asks Jimin.  “Yoongi-hyung and Hobi have read it too!” He gestures at the two men across the table from him who are engrossed in something on Hoseok’s laptop. 
 “No, no, no…” Yoongi replies, looking up and shaking his head. “Don’t drag me into this. Jin-hyung is clearly the instigator here…”  
 “I’m just trying to educate!” Jin huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, but still grinning ear-to-ear. 
 “Fine… let’s settle it then.” Hoseok interjects, trying to bring the group make to the main point of this evening: traumatizing the maknaes.  “Each hyung gets one story. Whoever’s the biggest pervert wins.” 
 “What do we win?” Yoongi chuckles. 
 “Shame, guilt, and a sign you should rethink your life…” Jimin answers.
 “Well, that hardly seems worth it…” Namjoon scoffs, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. 
 “I’ll do their laundry for a week!” Jungkook shouts, already two shots into the soju that he keeps sneaking whenever Jin isn’t looking.
 “You already do all our laundry anyways…” Namjoon teases and Jungkook pouts.
 “I’ll… uhh…” Jungkook racks his brain for a better bribe. “I’ll buy you lamb skewers!”
 “See?” Jin says to Jimin, gesturing at the overly excited maknae at the end of the table. “The boy wants to know!”
 Jin looks back to Hoseok. “I’m in.”  
 Hoseok looks to Namjoon and Yoongi. 
 “Yeah… me too.” Namjoon nods. Yoongi grunts in assent. 
 “Excellent!” Hoseok grins. “I have a good one…”
 Wednesdays are Jungkook’s favorite day of the week. If any of his friends asked why, Jungkook would tell them it’s because he has no morning classes and can enjoy a leisurely latte over his study materials. But the truth is that Wednesdays are Jungkook’s favorite day because Wednesdays are the day that Jimin works the morning shift. Jungkook would be lying if he said that the two minutes he gets to exchange small talk with the gorgeous pink-haired barista weren’t the highlight of his week. 
 “Wait…” Jungkook interrupts. “I’m gay?”
 “Yup.” Hoseok nods, trying not to laugh at how quickly the youngest already has questions. 
 “And I have a crush on Jimin?” Jungkook asks, looking quickly at actual Jimin and then looking away just as quickly.
 “Apparently…” Hoseok shrugs, before pressing onward with the story. Jungkook chews on the inside of his cheek, more questions brewing. 
 Today is probably the best Wednesday Jungkook has had in a month. Jimin not only remembered Jungkook’s name, but also Jungkook’s regular order. Jungkook wishes his regular order was something manly like a red eye or a café Americano black instead of the café mocha with extra whipped cream and chocolate shavings that was sitting in front of him now. But his regular order has been his regular order since long before the most beautiful man in the world started working here. 
Jungkook has also triumphed today by arriving early enough to lay claim to his favorite comfy chair. Jungkook would argue that it was his favorite because it was a particularly fluffy and soft, not because it happened to allow him the perfect view to watch Jimin’s butt jiggle whenever Jimin turned to work the espresso machine. 
 “Fan-fiction drinking game!” Jin shouts, raising his glass in the air. “Take a shot whenever they talk about Jimin’s butt!” 
 “Yes!!” Namjoon laughs, clinking his glass to Jin’s before they both down their shots.  
 Jimin folds over onto the table, face is hidden from view by his hands, no doubt flushing a bright pink. “Fuck me…” he whines into the table.
 “I think Jungkook’s going to…” Namjoon says and the whole table roars in approval.
 Hoseok cackles, smacking the table over and over as he laughs and Yoongi raises his glass to Namjoon in props. Taehyung sticks his tongue in his cheek and shakes his head, before downing his shot. Jimin peaks out from behind his hands to roll his eyes and grab another drink, and Jungkook begins giggling so hard that he nearly falls out of his chair, whole body doubled-over in laughter.
 “Let’s find out, shall we?” Yoongi eggs Hoseok on. 
“God, you are so obvious…” A deep voice interrupts Jungkook’s day dreams.  
Jungkook is startled from his dazed worshipping of Jimin’s backside…
  “Drink! drink!” Jin chants, downing his shot glass. 
 Hoseok pauses the story and everyone drinks. 
 “Erhm…” Hoseok coughs and clears his throat after the shot. “Maybe it should be a sip for every mention of Jimin’s butt…”
 “No way!” Jimin slams his hand down on the table, feeling bolder now that he has two shots of soju in his system. “My ass is worth a full shot!”
 “That’s my boy!” Namjoon laughs, slapping Jimin hard on the back and pouring him another. 
 “Ahem!” Hoseok calls for attention and restarts.
 Jungkook is startled by his blonde shaggy-haired best friend plopping noisily into the empty seat across from him and blocking Jungkook’s view. 
“I would think you would have learned to be subtler in your stalking.” Taehyung teases when Jungkook huffs in annoyance. “What with all the practice you get…”
“Shhh!” Jungkook panics, looking over at Jimin to see if he heard anything, but the barista doesn’t seem to be able to hear anything over the roar of the espresso machine.
“Oh relax…” Taehyung scoffs, sticking a finger into the middle of Jungkook’s whipped cream and scooping up a large dollop before depositing it into his own mouth and sucking noisily on his finger.  
“Hey!” Jungkook shouts. “Go get your own!” He grabs his mocha and yanks it out of his best friend’s reach. “I don’t know where your fingers have been…”
Taehyung wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Only Hobi does…”
“Ugh… gross.” Jungkook frowns down at his mocha as images of Tae’s hand halfway up Hoseok’s ass come unbidden to his mind.
 “Euuggghhhhhhhh…” A uniform chorus of groans sounds from everyone at the table and Hoseok pauses to take another sip of soju.
 Hoseok looks over to check on Taehyung and discovers that Taehyung has hidden his entire head inside the neck of his shirt. 
 “You okay Taetae?” Hoseok asks. 
 The headless shirt nods at him and holds up his shot glass in solidarity. 
 Hoseok swallows to clear his throat and continues.
 Jungkook shoves his mocha back at Tae. “You owe me another…”
“Okay… okay…” Taehyung nods, standing back up. “Gives me an excuse to chat up the bartender with the spank-able ass …”
 “Drink! drink!” Everyone jubilantly chants, then downs another round. 
 “Wait…” Jungkook coughs as he recovers from the shot. “We’re all gay?” Hoseok nods in confirmation. Jungkook purses his lips in thought.
 “Doesn’t seem very realistic does it?” Namjoon says, swirling his soju. 
 “Well, duh…” Jimin responds. “None of us are gay…” He looks around the circle eagerly for confirmation. Jungkook nods at him, but the others all seem lost in thought. 
 “Well, statistically, one or two of us might be…” Namjoon replies, still swirling his alcohol and staring into space. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Love is just love, you know?”
 The boys glance around the circle at each other. Jin stares at Namjoon, who continues to swirl his soju. Yoongi’s eyes flick over to Hoseok to find Hoseok watching Jimin closely, but Jimin is also starring Namjoon, mouth open slightly. Taehyung is still hiding inside his shirt and Jungkook makes himself busy peeling the label off the soju bottle, not making eye contact with anyone.
 “But it’s highly improbable that all of us would be gay.” Namjoon adds, shaking his head and looking up from his glass. Everyone else exhales at the same time.
 “Didn’t girls write this?” Jungkook pipes up. 
 “I think so…” Hoseok answers. 
 “So why do they want us to be gay?” Jungkook asks. “Doesn’t that mean we’re less likely to hook up with them?”
 “I have a theory!” Namjoon sets down his glass and leans forward. “Most of our fans are girls, right?”
 The circle of boys nods in agreement. 
 “So…they don’t want to read about us hooking up with other girls. It makes them jealous. They want to imagine it’s them. That’s why they write that terrible ‘you… you… your name here…’ shit.”
 The circle continues to nod, following along with their leader. 
 “But!” Namjoon holds up a finger. “If you want to write real fleshed-out characters, you need protagonists with names and physical descriptions. So, they make us gay! Then we can hook up with each other and no one gets jealous.” Namjoon smiles proudly at his explanation.
 “I have a theory…” Yoongi interrupts. “Ever watch porn with two women in it?” Yoongi directs this question at the maknaes, but the whole circle nods in response. 
 “It’s like that.” Yoongi laughs and takes another drink. The boys laugh. Hoseok claps his hands. Namjoon frowns. 
 “Can we get back to the story now?” Taehyung asks from the inside his shirt. 
  “His name is Jimin” Jungkook retorts. 
“Good to know…” Taehyung smirks and heads for the counter. Jungkook pretends to be absorbed in his calculus book but can’t help watching in worry as Taehyung approaches the counter. Jungkook knows Taehyung would never cheat on Hoseok, but he is still jealous of Taehyung’s easy confidence. Tae probably hasn’t showered in three days and definitely just threw on a random assortment of clothes from his bedroom floor, but he’s still the most gorgeous man in a 5-mile radius (pink-haired baristas excluded). 
Taehyung’s head finally reemerges from his shirt, beaming proudly.
 “Well, hello Jimin…” Taehyung coos in his deep voice, leaning in casual elegance against the counter. “Or can I call you gorgeous…” 
“Ack!.. Bleckk…” A chorus of gagging sounds erupts as the entire table cringes in unison.
 Jimin covers his mouth with hand and breathlessly giggles as Taehyung leans further across the counter and Jungkook pouts into his contaminated mocha. He should have just drank it, Hobi’s ass juice be damned. 
“Eauuuggghhh......”
 Taehyung continues the flirtation for much longer than is necessary to order a new coffee. He puts in the order and Jimin’s eyes flick over to Jungkook. Jungkook quickly stares down at his textbook. Finally, Taehyung returns. 
“What is the matter with you?!” Jungkook hisses when Taehyung finally sits back down. “You are practically married! What are you doing flirting with the potential love of my life?!”
The sad truth of Jungkook’s life was that all his friends had settled down now. One of the drawbacks to being the youngest. Taehyung had Hoseok, Namjoon had Yoongi and Jungkook was all alone. 
  “Wait just a second!” Jin interjects. “Where am I?”
 “Uhh… I don’t know…” Hoseok frowns at the computer screen, scrolling frantically.
 Jin frowns and sips his soju.
 “Here you are!” Hoseok finds something and points to his computer screen. “You’re the manager of the coffee shop.”
 “Do I have sex with anyone?” Jin leans over to see the computer screen too. 
 “Umm…” Hoseok skims the page. “You awkwardly hit on Jungkook which causes Jimin to realize his true feelings…” Hoseok explains as Jin squints at the computer. “But umm… no. You don’t have sex with anyone.” 
 “What the hell?!” Jin throws his hands into the air.
 “I’m still confused about why they want us to be gay…” Jungkook says, spilling some of his soju as he waves his hands in confusion.
 “I’m much more confused about why they want us to be baristas…” Yoongi replies. “Don’t they know we’re rock stars?” Yoongi laughs and shakes his head. “Isn’t that sexier than making coffee for a living?”
 “Yeah…” Namjoon begins explaining again. “But they want us to be approachable, you know? Tell real life stories…”
 “Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Yoongi waves his hand dismissively. “If I’m going to read some elaborate fantasy about myself, I want to be a cowboy or an astronaut or something… Who gives a shit about what it would be like if Min Yoongi worked at Starbucks?” Yoongi pushes in next to Hoseok and takes over the computer from him.
 “Hobi!” Yoongi turns to Hoseok, pointing at the screen. “This story is rated teen! There isn’t any sex in it!!”
 “Oh…” Hoseok pouts.  “But there was all that talk about ass juice!”
 “You lose Hobi.” Namjoon shakes his head.
 “My turn to pick one, right?” Yoongi asks the group and they nod. Yoongi clicks back to the main page BTS fanfiction page and his jaw drops as he begins scrolling through page after page. 
 “My god...” Yoongi mutters. “How much of this shit is there?”
 “Forty-one thousand, two hundred and thirty-nine stories…” Hoseok answers, pointing to the top right of the screen. 
 “Holy shit…” Jungkook whispers and the whole table looks shocked.  
 “Forty-one thousand, two hundred and forty stories…” Yoongi adds as he clicks the refresh button.
 “Who has the most?” Jin interjects, peering over Hoseok’s shoulder. 
 “Jimin” Hoseok answers. Jimin hides his face in his hands again. “Jimin, then Yoongi.”
 “Yoongi?” Jungkook asks in surprise.
 “Suga fans are intense people.” Yoongi says, shrugging, smug smile on his face.
 “It’s just because Yoonmin is the most popular ship.” Namjoon interjects and Yoongi’s smile falters.
 “What’s a ship?” Jungkook asks Namjoon.
 “People you want to be in a relationSHIP.” Namjoon answers.
 “Like Taekook…” Taehyung adds, nudging Jungkook with his elbow and Jungkook nods in understanding.
 “But why Yoonmin?” Taehyung asks. “You guys almost never interact!”
 Jimin and Yoongi both shrug. But Namjoon interjects with an explanation again. “I think it’s the juxtaposition of gruff and dominating with small and caring that the fans like.”
 “Yoongi-hyung is only 1 centimeter taller!!!” Jimin shouts in frustration, banging his hands on the table.
 “I think it’s because we’re the sexiest.” Yoongi says. Jimin smiles and the two reach across the table to clink their glasses together in triumph.  All the other boys frown with various degrees of jealously on their faces.
  “Who has the least?” Jin turns back to Hoseok.
 “Umm…” Hoseok bites his lip, like he doesn’t really want to answer.
 “It’s me, isn’t it?” Jin frowns. 
 Hoseok nods. 
 “Waaahhh…” Jin sighs, shock on his face. “Why don’t more people want to write about me? I’m an excellent muse!” Jin preens and laughs as he sips his soju.  “I’m the eldest!” He insists. “I could be gruff and dominating!”
 “Have you met you?” Jimin laughs.
 “Yeah…Looks who’s talking ‘small and caring.’” Jin replies. Jimin opens his mouth to object, but Yoongi cuts him off.
 “I want to read that one!” Yoongi insists pointing to something on Hoseok’s computer screen. 
 “Really, hyung?” Hoseok chuckles and Yoongi nods. Hoseok slides the computer over so it’s in front of Yoongi and Yoongi begins reading. 
 Captain Black Suga was shockingly beautiful for a pirate.  
That’s all Captain Hoseok Jung could think as he gazed down at the man in chains on the deck of his ship. 
Suga was wet from his recent dive overboard, another failed escape attempt, and his dark hair clung to his forehead, droplets of water dripping softly onto the deck. The captain watched as a single water droplet rolled down the pirate’s forehead, wrapped around the curve of his cheek, and traced a meandering path down the pirate’s neck. Captain Jung secretly wished he could follow the path of the water droplet with his tongue. 
  Hoseok begins giggling uncontrollably. “Why did you pick this one hyung?” He asks.
 “I’m a pirate!” Yoongi gestures at the screen.
 “Or he wants to read a Yoonseok story so he can flirt with you, Hobi.” Namjoon adds, chuckling. Hoseok laughs and blushes.
 “I don’t understand why they won’t call us Sope…” Yoongi mutters before resuming the story.
 God… he was beautiful. Hoseok’s loins ached just looking at him. 
Black Suga was the very definition of temptation. His features were delicate, his skin shockingly pale for a man who had spent his whole life on the open sea. His small mouth was turned down in a slight frown. His thin pink lips parted as he panted, exposed pale chest rising and falling with each breath. He looked so soft and innocent, all wet and bedraggled, kneeling on the deck. But then his dark eyes flicked up to meet Hoseok’s and Hoseok felt like his very soul was on fire.
Perhaps that is where Black Suga got his name from, Hoseok mused. He seemed sweet like sugar, but then he could murder you and your whole crew without breaking a sweat, smile on his face. He was young, about the same age as Captain Jung and Captain Jung was the youngest captain in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy. Hoseok could only imagine the different twists and turns their lives must have taken from them to end up here, on opposite sides of the law. 
Hoseok watched Suga’s tongue lap tentatively at the drops of water still running down his face from his hair and daydreamed about that tongue wrapping itself around his cock.
 “Uhhh…” Yoongi pauses, shocked at what he just read. “Maybe we should find a different one…”
 “No way!” The rest of the table immediately objects, delighted in how uncomfortable Yoongi suddenly is.  Yoongi tries to press onward.
 God… Hoseok can only imagine how beautiful Suga would be staring up at him from his knees, fiery black eyes focused on him, mouth full of his cock.
 “Nope… I can’t do this...” Yoongi shoves the computer away.
 “I can!” Hoseok scoops up the computer, laughing delightedly, and keeps reading.
 Captain Jung really shouldn’t be thinking such things. Captains in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy weren’t supposed to think pirates were beautiful, especially not those pirates they were commanded to track down and put to death for their crimes against the crown. Probably shouldn’t fantasize about bedding them either. But one look at Suga and bending him over the starboard railing and fucking him for the whole ocean to see is all Hoseok can think about. 
“Hey!” Yoongi interrupts. “I’m the badass pirate! Why wouldn’t I be the one fucking you?”
 “The fandom has decided that I top in this relationship.” Hoseok teases.
 “But I’m older!” Yoongi rants, pounding his fist on the table, and laughing.
 “More! more!” Taehyung and Jungkook call in unison from the end of the table, delighted at how embarrassed their surly hyung is.
 Hoseok had never seen Black Suga this close before. The best he had seen of the man was glimpses of him standing proud on the bow of his ship, usually sailing away from whatever carnage he had left in his wake: burned and sinking ships, ransacked villages, and suddenly penniless merchant vessels. Always leaving Captain Jung to pick up the pieces. Hoseok felt like he had spent his whole naval career chasing Black Suga. Hoseok felt disgusted with himself that he finally had the man in his clutches and instead of seeking justice, all he could think was how much he wanted to fuck him.
“You bring me here just to stare at me, sweetheart?” Black Suga asked and Hoseok jumped, taken aback by the forwardness of the pirate.
Captain Jung knew what he had to do. There was no way around it. Hoseok wished things were different. He wished this man was someone who had joined the royal navy instead of choosing a life of piracy. He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining a alternate life where Suga was his first mate by day and his lover by night. But there’s was no reaching that now.
“Black Suga…” Hoseok unfurled the scroll in his hand and began reading out the death warrant signed by the governor. “You have been sentenced to death by her royal highness Queen Elizabeth I for your crimes against the crown and the British people. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
“Yoongi…” Suga said quietly. “Min Yoongi…”
“What?” Captain Jung paused.
“If I’m going to do die, I want to die with the name my mother gave me… not some dumb nickname.” The pirate frowned pensively at the deck.
 “He’s not going to die, is he?” Taehyung interrupts, hands clenched on the table.  
 “No…” Hoseok reassures. “It’s 27 chapters long. He can’t die in the opening chapter.”
 “27 chapters?!” Jin shouts.
 “Well… yeah! There are so many obstacles to their love!” Hoseok laughs as he elaborates. “They have to lust after each other for a while. Captain Jung has to discover that Suga is secretly a pirate with a heart of gold. Suga has to fall for the dashing captain and abandon his life of crime…”
 “We don’t have time for 27 chapters!” Jin objects.
 “Just a little bit more?” Taehyung asks.
 “Fine…” Jin takes another sip of soju.
 “Min Yoongi…” Hoseok repeated, making a note on the parchment of the pirate’s real name. “Do you have any last words?”
“Yeah…” The fiery eyes looked out past Hoseok’s shoulder, then straight back to the captain, as a dangerous smirk crossed Suga’s lips. 
“You might want to duck.” Suga laughed triumphantly, before rolling across the deck, perfect timing to miss the cannonball that went soaring past Captain Jung’s ear and crashing through the floor boards of his ship. 
Captain Jung whipped around to see the black sails of Black Suga’s ship, the Daegu Sun. Hoseok dived to the side to avoid another cannonball, screaming at his men to ready the cannons. 
Suga somehow escaped his chains and leapt up from the deck. He punched Hoseok’s first mate Jin in the face and stole his sidearm, before running across the deck to the edge of the bow. 
“See you later sweetheart!” Suga called out to Hoseok before grabbing part of the rigging and swinging across the water to his own ship. A larger part of himself than Hoseok would like to admit wished silently that he could board the pirate’s ship and sail away too, but he was a better man than that. 
Instead, Hoseok watched longingly as Black Suga greeted his first mate – a mysterious one-eyed man with purple hair who was known only by the initials RM – with an enthusiastic pat on the back. And then Hoseok watched with a dull ache in his chest as Suga greeted his cabin boy Jimin, planting the boy with an enthusiastic kiss and squeezing his butt possessively right in the open for Hoseok to see.
 “Drink! drink!” The table cackles at yet another mention of Jimin’s famous posterior.
 “Why?!” Jimin moans, face buried in his hands. “Why am I always the cabin boy?” Jimin slurs, way too many glasses of soju in his system.
 “What?” Hoseok asks, confused.
 “Why am I always the cabin boy?” Jimin moans again. “Or the barista? Or the slave? Or the stripper? Or the prostitute? Why?”
 “You said you never read them!!” Jin yells, smacking the table and laughing.
 “Yeah…” Jimin groans, shaking his head back and forth, but keeping his face hidden behind his hands.
 “Is this why you didn’t want to read it?” Namjoon laughs, patting Jimin on the back.
 “Yeah…” Jimin nods.
 “Oh Jiminie…” Hoseok chuckles. “We can find you a better story!”
 “But…” Yoongi begins to object, then bites his tongue. Hoseok taps just enough keys on the laptop to bookmark the page, smirking at Yoongi. Yoongi sees it and gives a small nod, clearing his throat and taking another sip of soju.
 Hoseok heads back to the main page and begins scrolling, looking for a story Jimin might be happier about.
 “Oh look!” Hoseok says when he finds one.  “In this one, you’re a robot!” Hoseok hands the computer across the table to Namjoon to show Jimin.
 “Like the Terminator?” Jimin drops his hands from his face as his smile perks up in interest.
 “Umm…” Namjoon frowns at the computer screen as he reads further. “Did the terminator have a vibrating dick?”
 “Fucking hell…” Jimin grumbles as the table bursts into laughter. Namjoon goes back to scrolling for another story.
 “Oh!” Namjoon pauses when he finds another. “In this one you’re a mermaid…”  
 “You mean a merman?” Jimin asks.
 “No…it says mermaid.” Namjoon tries hard not to laugh.
 “That’s it, I’m out.” Jimin declares, standing up from the table, and wobbling for a moment before turning to head for bed.  A chorus of boos and disappointed whines follows this announcement.
 “Wait!” Jin calls out to Jimin and Jimin pauses.
 “I know one where you’re in charge…” Jin says.
 “Really?” Jimin asks, turning back to the table.
 “Yeah…” Jin nods. “Gets pretty intense though…”
 Jimin pauses, mulling over his options. “What do you mean in charge?”
 “Umm…” Jin laughs, eyes darting around the circle of boys. “You spend a while punishing Jungkook and Tae for their disobedience…”
 Jimin grins. Taehyung and Jungkook both look at each other, eyes wide.
 “I suppose we could hear one more…” Jimin laughs and sits down. Jin grabs the computer from Namjoon and goes searching.
Part Three
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ifishouldvanish · 7 years
Text
An Ordinary Man
RATING: General WORDS: 1,607 SUMMARY: If anyone was ever going to truly know Rumplestiltskin, it may as well be his maid. TAGS: platonic rumbelle, Rumple is gay, Coming Out
@thatravenclawbitch received an anon looking for a fic in which Rumple is gay, and that focuses on him coming to terms with his sexuality rather than any M/M ship in particular. So… I decided to take a stab at it. This is a re-imagining of a Dark Castle scene from Skin Deep, but with Rumbelle as a platonic friendship.
[Read on AO3]
“Why did you want me here?” She asks, sitting beside him and smoothing out her skirts.
Rumplestiltskin inhales sharply. His maid has been getting so close to him ever since he saved her from that perilous fall from the ladder. The look she gave him that day was one Rumplestiltskin understood, and it mortified him. He likes Belle. He enjoys her company. She’s a pretty young thing. Her nearness comforts him.
But it also distresses him. Makes that centuries-old feeling of inadequacy rear its ugly head. She wants more. Expects more. More than he could ever provide. Not to her, nor any woman for that matter.
“The place was filthy.” He says through pursed lips.
He hates the look she gives him, but it’s easier to have his maid roll her eyes at him than to even imagine the pity or the disgust that would be written all over her pretty face were he to tell her the truth. That he was just unbearably lonely, after years building up walls and pushing people away.
“I think you were lonely.” She says. “I mean, any man would be lonely.” Her tone is so sympathetic and warm and understanding. But how could she understand, really?
“I’m not a man.”
She pouts at him and he wishes he could hide. With the flourish of a hand, he supposes he could. But instead he continues to wring his hands anxiously in his lap, because in this moment, the part of him that yearns to be understood is winning out.
“So, I’ve had, uh, a couple of months to look around, you know.” She speaks quietly, as if he is a scared little animal she desperately hopes won’t scurry away. “And, uh… Upstairs there’s, uh, clothing. Small, as if for a... a child?”
His maid is such a curious thing. And he always appreciates the cautious and polite way she broaches subjects with him. He knows what she’s about to ask him.
“Was it yours, or… Or was there a son?”
Rumplestiltskin takes a deep breath. “There was. There was a son. I lost him – as I did his mother.”
It feels good to speak the truth. But there’s a greater truth that weighs heavily on his shoulders. One that predates losing Baelfire. Predates losing Milah. Predates the damage he did to his ankle, the horrors he witnessed during the Ogre’s Wars, his marriage. The one he’s kept so well hidden for so unbearably long. One that begs to be known, if only he’d let it.
Belle frowns. “I’m… I’m sorry. So you… You were a man, once. An ordinary man?”
He doesn’t answer, because he’s never felt like one.
She smiles at him weakly, a playful shade of exasperation on her face. “If I’m never going to know another person in my whole life, can’t I at least know you?”
Gods, he would love nothing more than for someone to truly know him. He’s burned so many bridges in a misguided attempt to hide his shame from the world. Belle is the closest thing to a friend he’s ever had. But how could he let her know his truth? Everyone always leaves, but at least if he pushes them away, he can blame the darkness. If he told her the truth and she left, it would just confirm his fears: That he is, in fact, unlovable. A disappointment. A freak. A coward. Not a real man.
No. The truth must remain his own to bear. He musters a smile and flourishes his hand. Gets back into character and plays his part.
“Perhaps… Perhaps you just want to learn the monster’s weaknesses!”
But Belle sees through his performance. She always has. She narrows her eyes at him and smiles. “You’re not a monster.” She tells him, a certainly in her voice which he’s never possessed himself.
For a moment, he can almost believe it. I’m not a monster.
“You think you’re uglier than you are. That’s why you cover all the mirrors up, isn’t it? Hm?” She scoots closer to him and studies his face, scrutinizing him. Part of him wants her to find what she’s looking for, because he’s so tired. Tired of not having anyone he truly be himself around. Not having anyone who knows the truth and just accepts him.
He catches a gleam in Belle's eyes and she leans in, wetting her lips. She presses them to his cheek and feels a strange sensation take hold of his body.
No, no, no.
He draws back quickly, turning away from her. “Belle, I—” His voice sounds so small and he cuts himself off. “What are you doing?”
“I—” Her cheeks flush pink and she looks away. “I was um, reading.” She says, nervously fisting at her skirts.
He raises a brow at her. His maid— Too curious for her own good.
“It said true love’s kiss could break any curse.”
He looks at her with his features twisted in mortification. “And you think this is true love?”
“You’re my friend, Rumplestiltskin!” She says, reeling back in offense. “Of course I love you!”
“Well, it wouldn't have worked.” He scoffs.
“And why not?”
“Because I could never love you in such a way!”
He can feel the pounding of his heart in his throat. His mouth is bone dry and he wants to hide again. But he's forgotten magic. All he can think about is how close he just came to shedding that layer of armor, and he's shaking. He waits for Belle to protest, to do something, to leave. But instead there's only silence and the pounding of his pulse in his ears.
She reaches for his hand, but doesn't fight it when he pushes it away. “Rumple— Rumplestiltskin, what do you mean?”
“You couldn't understand.”
“You don't know that.” She says firmly, her chin resolute. “Not unless you at least let me try.” She adds with a nod.
It's a valid point. But he's found a sort of comfort in his loneliness. It's familiar. Safe. Telling his truth to Belle would be a gamble. Even if she doesn't laugh in his face, would their little chats stop? Would she stop laughing at his jokes? Stop smiling at him when she serves him his tea? Stop seeing the good in him of which she so often speaks?
He supposes he could bear that loss. It would only take him back where he started. But gods, imagine if she truly did understand! The thought makes the fearful, nervous energy in his body feel more like excitement and hope.
“I… have no desire to be with a woman.” He says, the words bursting out of his mouth in a jumble. His pulse is so much heavier now, he feels like he might burst.
Silence again. He pulls his eyes away from his lap to sneak a glance at her face. Her bottom lip is tucked under her teeth and her brows are furrowed together. His maid is thinking.
She smacks her lips. “Is that all?”
He looks at her and blinks. Did she not hear him correctly?
Belle smiles at him and Rumplestiltskin feels the pounding in his chest beginning to fade. “What—what do you mean, is that all?”
She wrinkles her nose at him like she always does when she thinks he's being dramatic. “You're my closest friend, Rumple. My only friend. I-I want to understand.”
“Belle, I— I…” He doesn't pull away when she reaches for his hand this time. He clutches onto it instinctively, drawing her strength, her courage. “I find myself… drawn to— to other- to other men.”
She nibbles her lip, thinking again. “Is it… because of—” She gestures at him, his reptilian skin, his yellowed eyes, and claw-like hands.
“No.” He answers quickly, his head shaking on its own as the weight of the truth pours out of him.
Some of the prostitutes in his village had been men. Even if he could have afforded their services, he wouldn't have dared. He'd faced enough ridicule without having to take a male lover. Coward. Worthless. Baedling. It was one shame he couldn't subject his family to.
“But—” She knits her brows together and tilts her head. “Your son?”
“I love my son.” He says automatically. “But I… I did not love his mother— not as a husband should. I did not enjoy conceiving him.”
Belle studies him for a moment, and she looks so sad for him. But she shakes it away and shrugs. “I see.” She says firmly, giving his hand a squeeze.
He swallows hard and can feel the tension leaving every muscle in his body.
“The-the book I found…” She mumbles, “It said true love doesn't have to be between a man and a woman. Sometimes it can happen between two men, or two women. Or-or not even lovers at all. But between parent and child, or siblings, or even—”
“...Friends?”
Her blue eyes light up and she smiles. “Friends.”
Rumplestiltskin may not have ever known the companionship of a man, but he imagines he would enjoy the company of one much like his Belle. Kind, forgiving, compassionate, and full of understanding.
She wraps her arms around him, pulling him close, and tears form in Rumplestiltskin's eyes. He feels so light and warm and weightless and free.
“I'm so honored you could tell me that, Rumple.” She mumbles into his shoulder. He chokes out a sob and nods, because he's glad he told her too. “It was wonderfully brave of you.”
Brave. Who would have ever thought Rumplestiltskin could be brave?
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