#if anyone was wondering the earring max is wearing is 100% billy's | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magniloquent-raven · 4 years

Note

Ooh for your prompts: Fluffy Elmax sleepover with cuddling for #16 pls :') xoxox

i had such a good time writing this omg thank you!!! tho there’s a couple bits that threaten to be angst because im physically incapable of writing pure fluff lmao. it’s just tiny bits tho. just a smidge.

also, because s4 isn’t out yet i uh. kinda just did a time skip but didn’t rly change anything about how s3 left off? i know we know hopper’s alive but like. i guess he’s just still in russia in this fic LMAO rip. don’t think about it too hard

posted on ao3 as well :)

—-

Max’s watch timer beeps obnoxiously again. 8:36. El’s late. She hits snooze.

“When’s your friend supposed to be here, sweetie?”

“Soon, mom. You know, you and Neil don’t have to wait up.” They do this every time. Like Max isn’t almost seventeen and perfectly capable of being alone in her own damn house for five minutes. At this rate they’re going to be late for whatever thing it is they’re going to, and Neil will be even more of a bitch than usual.

Her mom glances over at him. He’s sitting in his armchair looking surly, checking his watch pointedly. Asshole.

“Well…I don’t think—”

Max hears a car pull up out front. “Oh, thank fuck,” she mutters, turning on her heel and marching out to greet the Byers’.

Joyce climbs out of the passenger seat as Max strides across the lawn. “Max, honey!” she waves, grinning bright, “How are you?” There’s always a…tone to how she asks that. Questions lurking under the surface that they don’t talk about. It makes Max’s insides all squirmy thinking about it, though she is on some level grateful for the concern.

Max stands on the curb, tugging on her earring. A habit by now. It’s both a comfort and a reminder. She got one hell of a lecture the day she came out of the bathroom with blood running down her neck and a safety pin in her earlobe, but she didn’t regret it for a second.

El slides out of the driver’s seat, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. Max watches her stand and adjust her shirt. She always looked good in yellow. “I’m good,” Max responds after a beat, and it’s honest for once.

The door behind her creaks. Probably her mom and Neil coming out of the house, hopefully to leave, finally. She doesn’t turn around, just steps into Joyce’s waiting arms and presses her face into her shoulder. Max is taller than her now, by a couple inches, so it hurts her neck a little, but it’s worth it.

Will’s still tucked away in the backseat, peering through the window, Max waves at him when she peeks up over Joyce’s shoulder.

Then El distracts her. “Your hair,” she says, gently tugging on a lock behind her ear. Max steps back from Joyce, and runs a hand through it, cheeks pink. Three years ago she’d hacked off all her hair with a pocket-knife, woke up the morning of Billy’s funeral with strands still stuck to her neck, locks hanging ragged across her forehead. Her mother had thrown a fit.

“Yeah, I cut it again,” Max says, like that wasn’t obvious. She’d let it grow out uneven and messy for a while, but she broke out the scissors again about a month ago. It’s neater than her last haircut, but not by much.

El’s hand is in Max’s hair again, dangerously close to her face. Max’s knees wobble a little.

“Bitchin’,” she says solemnly, after a few seconds of consideration.

Max’s grin is blinding.

Her mother cuts in, before she can respond, gives her the usual talk about staying in the house and making sure she’s got her emergency numbers memorized. Then she bids them all a hasty, distracted goodbye. Her mom was never very comfortable about the Byers’. Probably something about Joyce’s too-knowing gaze, or the fact that El glares daggers at Neil every time he’s within range.

She’s doing it now. Watching him get into his truck with a quiet rage in her eyes. Joyce puts a hand on her elbow, and it doesn’t move until Neil’s truck has turned the corner at the end of the street.

“We should get going,” Joyce says, checking her watch. “Will wanted to be at Claudia’s an hour ago but we got caught up at Mike’s house, and, well, you know how it is,” she flutters her hands, approximating a shrug.

She hugs El goodbye, then pulls Max in for another one. “Call us if you need anything,” she says, pulling back and putting her hands on Max’s shoulders. That sad glint is in her eye again, and Max knows the offer extends beyond tonight.

“Thanks, Joyce, we will.”

By the time she’s taken the corner at the end of Cherry Lane Max’s watch is beeping again.

El glances down at it, a pinch between her eyebrows. “…Was that for me?”

“Uh.”

The confusion melts off her face, replaced by a cheeky grin. “It was!”

Max shuts the alarm off, cheeks burning. “Why were you guys at Mike’s for so long?” she asks. eager to change the subject. If the guys are meeting up at Dustin’s the delay wasn’t because Will and Mike were catching up, and, well, Mike and El’s relationship is…of interest to Max. For reasons.

El purses her lips. It’s a face that tells Max they’re gonna need to be sitting and cozy for this conversation because it’s gonna be a long one. So, she links their arms and pulls her inside.

An hour later they’re huddled under a throw blanket on the couch. El is giggling, face in her hands, and Max is wheezing around a mouthful of skittles.

“Oh, that’s so not funny,” she chokes out, trying not to spew candy everywhere, which brings about a fresh wave of laughter. El’s shoulders are shaking, brushing against Max’s and making her warm all over. God damn, she’s missed this.

“Then why are you laughing,” El replies, poking her side and smiling from ear-to-ear.

She’s beautiful, Max thinks. Her braid is half-undone, letting her hair curl around her face in gentle waves, and her eyes are bright. She looks happy, and Max holds on to that, keeps it all for herself because she did that, she made that happen. She might not have everything she wants from El, but she’ll take whatever she can get. Whatever El wants to give. And sometimes just her smiles are enough, enough to make Max’s chest constrict and her heart glow, because for now, she’s happy too.

She laughs again, in leu of a response. How can she not, when she feels so light she could float away, high on the soft strawberry scent of El’s shampoo and the way her cheek dimples when she grins. But she can’t say that, so she says, “Because it’s Mike,” and pokes El right back. “I’m legally obligated to laugh at his misfortune.”

They have a complicated friendship, which mostly boils down to her being willing to bail him out when he’s in shit, but only if she gets to make fun of him while she does it.

El wrinkles her nose a little, but her smile doesn’t dim, “You two are weird.”

She’s pretty sure it used to bother El, how much Mike and Max fought. Max can’t help but wonder if they’d have gotten along better if she wasn’t in love with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Because she’d dumped him for good this time. Four months ago, apparently, though Mike was, until a few hours ago, under the impression it was temporary.

Max almost feels bad for him. Except she doesn’t. Apparently, he was a dick about the whole thing, so at least she has a solid reason not to.

“You love us,” Max scoffs. El may have broken up with Mike, but she’ll always love him in some way or another.

El’s expression softens, turns fond and sweet. She’s thinking about Mike, Max is sure, but the smile is still directed as her. Small victories. “I do,” she says quietly.

They order a pizza after that, and watch movies into the wee hours of the morning. By 3am Max’s throat is raw, and her stomach hurts from laughing (and too much pizza). It’s the most fun she’s had in a while. The Byers’ don’t visit as often as any of them would like.

Max isn’t even tired, but El’s head has been dropping onto her shoulder on and off for the past hour so she suggests they call it a night.

She knows that when the boys sleep over at each other’s houses they’ll take the floor, or the couch in the basement, anything but actually sharing a bed. As El wraps an arm around her waist and snuggles up with her under the blankets, Max takes a moment to wonder if that would be better or worse than this.

It always seemed so miserable to Max, how much boys have to limit themselves.

But also…well, it might be easier sometimes. She wouldn’t have to deal with wanting things she shouldn’t want because El would be over there, and not right up in her space, hands warm and breath tickling Max’s ear. This is different than sitting thigh-to-thigh on the couch, it blurs the line more, and it’s the ambiguity that’s driving Max crazy.

She wasn’t tired before, but she’s wide-awake now.

Time creeps by strangely this late at night. Max isn’t sure how long she lays there, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm her pounding heart. El’s breath is steady, quiet, and her eyes are closed. Max is sure she’s asleep, she was so tired before.

Before she can stop herself her hand creeps up, brushes a strand of hair from El’s face.

Moonlit, she’s ethereal. There’s always been something otherworldly about El, with her big, dark eyes, always watching, boring holes into you with their intensity. Shadows play across her cheek, and Max tracks them for a while, absurdly jealous of moonlight.

She traces patterns on El’s forearm, the one resting on Max’s stomach, keeping her touch light so as not to wake her.

More time passes, and Max’s head feels heavy with sleep that won’t come. She’s groggy, leaning back but unable to keep her eyes closed.

She starts talking. Whispering. Remembering the times she read Wonder Woman comics to El until she fell asleep, and hoping, somewhere in her foggy brain, that it might work on herself too.

“You know… I always knew we’d be good friends. The second I heard your name I wanted to know you,” she murmurs, and draws a star on El’s wrist. “Didn’t know how badly I wanted until I saw you though. You were terrifying, and I loved it. And now…” Her eyes slide closed as she thinks. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful. Everything about you. And I love you…more than I should.” She sighs, sits in silence and cards her fingers through El’s hair. It’s getting so long.

El’s hand closes around her wrist.

Max’s eyes fly open, and she stills, heart pounding. “Uh.” El’s eyes are open, looking up at her, she’s awake, she’s awake, oh fuck– “Um. Did—did I wake you up, I’m—sorry if I woke you—”

“It’s okay.” The corners of her mouth turn up, slow and careful, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh.” Is all Max can manage, staring down at El with wide eyes, waiting for her to…do something. Max’s palms are sweating. She doesn’t know what to expect.

El moves her hand, puts Max’s palm against her cheek and shuffles forward until they’re nose to nose.

“Oh.”

She tastes like toothpaste and kiwi lip balm, and kisses as sweetly as she smiles. Her hands end up in Max’s hair, fingers gentle but demanding, guiding her forward. If Max wasn’t already laying down, she’d need to be because her knees are jelly.

“Oh,” El echoes when she pulls back, laughter in her voice. She presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth, careful and deliberate. Then her expression softens, sobers. “I was jealous of you. At first. Didn’t…know what it was. Know why. So, I ignored you. And… I’m sorry.”

Max shakes her head, “Ancient history. It’s okay.”

“No, I,” El stops, furrows her brow, “You were so happy. Free. I wanted that. And then, then you helped me have that. So. Thank you.” She cups Max’s face, fingertips tracing along her cheekbone, and Max’s heart sings. “And I love you too.”

They kiss again, and Max decides that El sleeping on the floor would’ve been a terrible idea.

#elmax #elmax fanfic #stranger things #el hopper #max mayfield #i couldn't resist the little bits about max mourning her brother because im a masochist apparently #if anyone was wondering the earring max is wearing is 100% billy's #and joyce knows neil is The Worst which is why she's concerned about max #making sure he isn't treating her how he used to treat billy #yeah #ALSO #susan being all overprotective?#is because of billy #like. he might not have been her kid but he was something to her yknow?#and now he's gone #and she gotta deal w that somehow #and shes dealing with it by clinging extra hard to the kid she's got left #THAT'S TOO MANY SAD HEADCANONS TO PUT IN ONE FLUFFY SLEEPOVER FIC WHY AM I LIKE THIS #anyway apparently posting my writing is a thing i do now so i need a tag #a raven's writing desk #because i'm real pretentious dont @ me lmao

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staticscreenwriting · 6 years

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City Light Painted Girl - Billy Hargrove

Synopsis: Billy likes a girl so much, he even listens to shitty pop music for her.

Request: I've always loved that 80's tradition of making someone a mix tape, so Billy making his girlfriend a mixtape because he's not good with using his words to express his feelings so he uses music

A/N: Thank you for requesting. It wasn’t 100% what you asked for but I hope you like it anyway ♥

Billy Hargrove hated Madonna. He hated her music with a burning passion. He thought it was pointless, squeaky noise with no reason or substance to it.

That was until he heard a stripped down, acoustic guitar version of “ like a virgin “ sounding through his open window.

Billy hadn’t really shown any interest in his neighbours so far. Hawkins was just a pit stop in his life, never a place he wanted to stay or settle down in. As soon as he had that stupid High School diploma he’d pack his bags and get the fuck out of here.

That was the plan and said plan didn’t involve meeting neighbours, socializing and god forbid making friends. Sure he was alright with Tommy H. following around like a lost puppy, and the redhead from school soaking up his sugary sweet lies like they were water and she was drowning in the desert.

But they weren’t friends, they were replaceable

That plan, also didn’t involve his gorgeous next door neighbour with the messy hair, the oversized Star Wars shit, the guitar and the voice of what he could only imagine angels sounded like.

She was sitting on her window sill, strumming the guitar and belting out Madonna lyrics as if she was born to do nothing else.

Billy decided then, that maybe Madonna wasn’t so bad after all. His window stayed open that night. For one because he liked watching the stars and maybe also because he liked listening to her sing him to sleep. Even if it was Madonna.

It went on like that for a while, her turning cheesy pop songs into gorgeous acoustic masterpieces and him silently listening, holding on to this one spark of peace and innocence and joy that was exclusively his own for the time being.

Billy did see her around school every once in a while though he never made any real effort to actually talk to her. It seemed both ridiculous and scary to him.

Ridiculous because she was just some girl who could sing fairly well. That was it. That. was. it.

Scary because he didn’t know how she’d react if she knew he was listening.

Scary because he didn’t want her to stop.

The first time Billy interacted with her, was at one of Tina’s house parties. It was a shit party with shit music and shit people who were trying way too hard in Billy’s opinion. But there was booze and girls and anywhere was better than home, really.

And there was her.

Self Control by Laura Branigan was playing over the stereo as she was moving her hips along to the beat, arms outstretched above her head and eyes closed.

Billy was sure he’d seen an image much like this one in a dream before.

She wasn’t wearing her usual jeans and oversized geek shirt combo. She’d switched it for a tight denim skirt, a Blondie shirt and boots that stopped just short below her knee.

It must’ve been a wet dream, he thought.

There was something about this girl so effortlessly enchanting to him that it made him feel all kinds of emotions. He hated and enjoyed it both at the same time.

The way she carried herself, her smile, how she got so deeply lost in the music it almost seemed like she was floating above the crowd in the best way possible.

And even with the bright pink lipstick and the heavy hoop earring and the hair that was teased up into a ridiculous style that could very well match his mullet in terms of being both weird and impressive at the same time, she never seemed fake or like she was trying too hard or trying at all really.

She just was.

She was so unapologetically herself and sometimes that meant wearing tight denim skirts and what seems like at least 20 bangles around her wrist. And other times that’s geeky shirts and sweatpants and messy buns. But all of those things were her and she felt no shame in being all of them.

Billy admired that and maybe he was even a little jealous. Because if there was one thing Billy Hargrove couldn’t be, it was himself. He could never let his guard down all the way, with anyone. Because that would mean showing some vulnerability. And being vulnerable meant he was making it easier for people to hurt him. Ad he didn’t need more of that.

The song changed to Cyndi Lauper and Billy took that as his clear cue to get out of there and catch some fresh air, maybe smoke a cigarette while he’s at it. It was one of his vices he hated the most, smoking always left a nasty taste in his mouth, not necessarily because of the actual taste of the cigarette but more so because he knew his mom would be judging him hard for it. Smoking was one of the things she deeply detested and maybe, he thought, that was part of the reason he had started smoking in the first place. He had never really left the anger part of grief and maybe picking up smoking was one way for him to give a giant middle finger to the universe.

His mom wasn’t there anymore, no reason for him not to smoke now.

Leaning against the cold outside wall,Billy took a drag of his cigarette. Thinking about his mother for too long was never a good idea. His mind would go places he didn’t ever want to go. He was quite comfortable in the anger stage of grief.

The screen door to his left opened and closed but for a moment Billy could make out the faint sound of the music playing in the living room.

“ Hey you, I know you. “

There was a smile on her face as she slowly approached Billy, the heels of her boots creating a tapping sound on the stone floor and sending an electric shock straight into Billy’s heart.

“ You do ? “

“ Mmh… I can see your window from mine. I know you listen to me sing. It’s nice really. Figured since you haven’t complained yet you can’t be too bothered by it “.

He wondered how anyone could ever be bothered by her singing.

“ Well you’re good “.

“ Thanks, can I bum one ? “ she asked and motioned towards the cigarette.

“ Sure “

Billy fumbled a cigarette from his almost empty pack and held it out to her, as she was leaning closer for him to light it, he could faintly catch the scent of her vanilla shampoo. He decided then, that that was probably the best scent of all scents. He also wondered if her lips would taste like cherries.

“ You know, I think you need to switch up your taste in music a little “ Billy spoke up when the silence between them grew too much, too awkward, too — quiet.

“ Oh yeah ? Why’s that ? “

“ Man, I can only listen to so many Madonna songs. And what’s that with fucking Bon Jovi ? Really you need to listen to some good stuff ! “

“ I’m sorry ? Bon Jovi is an iconic band already. Bed of Roses is a romantic and tragic masterpiece. Don’t disrespect legends, okay ? “

This felt so different from all the other talks with all the other people. Because for once Billy did care about the conversation and he did care about the person and he did care about learning more about her and keeping her in his life for just a little longer.

“ Wow, does the perm do it for you ? Is that it ? “ He joked, leaning a little closer to her and letting his signature smirk spread on his lips.

“ Perms ? No, not really “ she replied and dropped what was left of her cigarette before stomping on it to make sure it was out “ Mullets however —”.

Before Billy could react to what he realised was a blatant attempt at flirting, she had already turned her back towards him and had disappeared through the door back inside to become one with the music again.

Billy Hargrove considered himself to be many things, handsome, clever, bit of an asshole really, but one thing he never thought he was, was romantic.

Romance was not part of his vocabulary. Aside from his mom he’d never given a girl flowers or chocolates or anything other than orgasms really. And yet this task felt awfully romantic to him.

Recording the song, writing down the tracklist, sneaking up to her window when he knew she wasn’t home, and placing it carefully on her window sill. All of that was a little ridiculous sure but he felt like this was the right way to go about it.

There was a lot of Metallica on the tape, some Judas Priest, some Slayer. He had made sure to put some softer stuff on there too, like Aerosmith and Queen because he figured if she didn’t appreciate the metal she might at least find something she likes in those bands.

He had been thinking about her a lot and what she’d like and what they could potentially bond over. And when that occurred to him, he felt fucking awful.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Not now and not here. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything for anyone at this point. It was get through high school and then leave. Find a life somewhere else, find love somewhere else.

This was throwing all his carefully crafted plans right out the window and he wasn’t comfortable with that at all.

He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with a girl over perfect renditions of bad Bon Jovi songs. He wasn’t supposed to.

He did anyway.

It was a few weeks later, that he came home after spending his entire day driving Max and her weird ass friends all around town. He hated it but it was still better than staying home and earning himself not only an earful of insults from his dad but potentially even another black eye. The last one had just healed and even though the girls seemed to dig it, thought it made him look tough, he could really do without one for a while.

His anger was still bubbling inside of him, all the way from his guts to his throat. The dry wall of his shitty room already had a little hole in it and it was fucking ugly, he really didn’t want to add another one. He thought that was a perfect representation of his life at the moment.

As he was about to throw himself into his bed and wallow in a mixture of self pity and perpetual self hatred, the strumming of a guitar caught his attention.

Peeking outside of his window, he could see her perched onto the window sill again. Oversized sweater falling over her right shoulder and eyes focused on the strings that her slender fingers were softly strumming.

Soon her voice started up singing the lyrics to Alice Cooper’s You and Me a song he knew for sure was on the tape he’d given her. He put it on there not really thinking much about the lyrics, all he knew was that it was a good song that she might like. And also that it would sound way better if she sang it.

And she did.

Suddenly his very shitty day, wasn’t all that bad anymore.

“If I could take you to heaven

that would make my day complete

but you and me ain't movie stars

what we are is what we are

and I tell you babe

well that's enough for me.”

That night, had seemingly changed something. Changed everything. And Billy wasn’t quite sure how or why but it did.

(Y/N) started talking to him at school, started sitting with him during lunch, deliberately chose him as a project partner in geography. She gave a shit, and that was something Billy couldn’t quite grasp because it had been so fucking long since anyone had done that.

She gave a shit and it made all the difference.

The first time Billy Hargrove got to kiss (Y/N), it was a cold February night and The Simple Minds’ “Don’t You Forget About me” was playing over the speakers of the small grocery store.

They’d been to the drive in cinema with Tommy and Carol and some others but when those decided it was time to go home, neither Billy nor (Y/N) could be bothered to go along. Going home meant separating and that was something neither of them was very fond of at that moment.

It’s not like the were a couple but they were a thing, at least Billy thought they were. He wasn’t sure what that thing was but it was definitely something and it was definitely more than simple and plain friendship.

So the two of them decided to get some snacks and sodas and drive to the outskirts of Hawkins were there were fields that were turned into pumpkin patches every falls and were the stars shone exceptionally bright and the world was vast and Hawkings didn’t seem so small after all.

Billy’s eyes roamed the shelves full of nachos chips and cheetos and he really wasn’t sure which of these they should get. Which ones (Y/N) liked best.

“ Hey babe which ones do you — “

(Y/N) was twirling around, her sneakers squeaking against the linoleum floor. Her eyes were closed and she was once again lost in the music.

Billy thought he was watching an angel.

The fluorescent lights of the neon signs covered her in hues of pink and blue and she looked ethereal.

It felt like he couldn’t move at first, like he was stuck in time watching this perfect girl dancing to a bad synth-pop song. And he wanted this moment to last forever.

Only it didn’t. Because seemingly without a warning, his legs started moving towards her, crossing the sticky floor between the snack shelves and beverage coolers.

Softly he held her face between his hands and she opened her big bright eyes. For a moment, Billy got to feel like he was part of something magical. Part of her world. Part of this perfectly imperfect picture of just pure joy. Of love. Love for live. For music. For her.

And then his lips met hers and he felt her kiss back and it was all so much more than he could’ve ever imagined.

And there was no way he would ever forget about her.

“Don't you try to pretend

It's my feeling we'll win in the end”

Mötley Crüe’s “ Come on and Dance” was blasting from the speakers of his Camaro as Billy’s hands travelled down her naked body. Her clothes lay forgotten all over the car. The floor, the front seat, the dashboard.

He was sure he was in heaven. Never had sex felt this intimate, this hot and passionate and life changing. It was a cheesy thing to think but Billy was sure that something about her, something about kissing her and having sex with her, was different than doing it with other girls.

The little voice in his head told him it was because he loved her.

He didn’t want to listen to that voice.

That voice didn’t know shit.

Her skin was soft and warm. Her breath against his neck sent shivers down her spine and made goosebumps appear on his arms. She was all grabby hands and nails down his back and peppered kisses on his collar bones.

She was fire. She was stars. She was those girls rock songs are written about.

She was his girl then.

And he was undeniably hers.

“When she's hot

Well, damn she's hot

Electric love

Like Sandra Dee

Should have seen her dance”

Billy Hargrove knew he was in love with her when the summer rain arrived in Hawkins.

They were stuck in the parking lot of a Dairy Queen because there was no way he could drive through the thick curtain of water pouring down from the heavens.

She was wearing a red summer dress and a matching red lipstick and Billy thought she resembled a popsicle. A very sexy very sweet popsicle.

The radio was playing Whitesnake’s Youngblood and (Y/N) was singing along with her angel voice while sipping on her strawberry milkshake.

“ You know “ she said and turned towards him “ I think I wanna see California. Maybe we could go after graduation, you could show me where you grew up. Take me to the beach and maybe — “

He could see there was more that she wanted to say but wasn’t comfortable enough, confident enough to actually say the words out loud.

Billy lifted her chin with his finger and spoke up as their eyes connected.

“ Maybe ? “

“ Maybe I can meet your mom. “

His heart dropped down to his guts at her words.

“ (Y/N), she’s — “

“ I know, I know that. I just — look since my grandpa passed way we often went to his grave and sometimes I talk to him and it feel like he’s really there you know. I wish I could visit your mom and tell her how much you mean to me and how happy I am she made such a handsome, wonderful boy “.

Billy knew he was in love then. Not only in love. He knew he loved her. Irrevocably, unconditionally.

He knew that from this moment on his future lay with her. California, Hawkins, Anywhere. His future was with her. His future was her.

In the matter of a second he had her face held softly in his hands as his lips met hers and he kissed her with a passion that he had never felt, that he didn’t even know was in him.

“ I love you “.

It was quiet and murmured against her lips but he could feel her smile at his words and he knew she had heard it.

“ I love you too “

And he knew she meant it.

“When the wind is howling

I'll hold you near,

An' soothe your troubled mind

With a little bit of this,

An' a little bit of that

I'll make you leave all your worries behind”

He knew he had fucked up. Was it a surprise to him ? Not really, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t fucking devastated. She had trusted him with this and he blew it.

It was one stupid comment, one second of his anger boiling over and suddenly it was all ruined.

He hadn’t known about this stupid rule, hadn’t known they would actually do this. All he wanted to do was buy tickets to attend prom for him and his loving girlfriend. But nope.

Kyle Scott had to make a stupid ass comment about (Y/N) and Billy just couldn’t ignore that. He was okay with people talking shit about him, but his girl ? That just didn’t fly with him.

And so he made his fist talk some sense into Kyle. Only Mrs. Owens had been right there to witness it all and dragged him to the principal’s office. They had decided not to kick him out so close to graduation but in return they had forbidden him to buy tickets to prom. He was unwanted there, uninvited.

All he wanted was to make (Y/N) smile. He had it all planned out, the entire night and even though he hated wearing fancy clothes he would’ve suffered through it because he knew it would make (Y/N) happy.

Now none of that was happening and he couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing her.

“ Hey babe, you had a good day ? “ she asked, her voice happy and melodic as she plopped down into the passenger seat of the camaro.

“ No. “

“ No ? Billy what — “

“ I don’t think this is working “.

He didn’t deserve her. She was way too good for him. Her love, her forgiveness, her patience. He deserved none of it.

So maybe if he managed to break her heart now, she’d be able to mend it in time for college, to give it to someone that deserved it. Someone that could give her the world.

He couldn’t even take her to fucking prom.

“ I — what ? “

“ You and I. It’s not working. “

“ I’m sorry ? “

“ Look, I didn’t get no fucking prom tickets okay ? I can’t do shit for you, (Y/N). You deserve someone who can do that kinda stuff for you not some asshole who gets banned from prom for punching Kyle Scott in the face. We should break up, so you can actually find some guy who’s worth it. “

He could see her eyes glossing over with tears but maybe being brutal now would spare her more pain in the future, when she’d realize that she deserved way better.

“ First of all, I bet Kyle deserved it. Second of all, fuck you ! That’s not your decision to make. What I want is my decision alone and it’s not on you. I want you, Billy. I love you. “

“ Well, don’t ! “.

Pantera’s “Sad Lover” was playing from his radio as she stepped out of the car, no word being sad but tears streaming down her cheeks.

Billy had never hated himself more than he did in that moment.

“Don't you cry now

not around me

baby i don't need that kinda company

sad lover

Queen of hearts misery”

It had been weeks and not once had she been singing. Not once had he caught as much as a glimpse of her at her window sill.

That was until the night of the prom.

He didn’t see her but he could very well hear her playing.

It was 10cc’s “I’m not in love” and it killed him. Like tiny daggers straight to his heart.

He never ever wanted to hurt her this badly. He just wanted more for her. Better things. Happy things. A man that could make her sing happy songs every single day.

But god, this was killing him. His eye wandered over towards the box on his desk. It was filled with cassette tapes, each filled with songs that reminded him off her. Songs that were playing during different times of their relationship. The big and the small moments. All the songs she had ever sang, to herself and to him. All of it was kept on those tapes in this box that he had kept for himself at first but then decided to give to her after prom. The night he had wanted to tell her about the job he’d found in California. Real close to a university she wanted to attend. Real close to where his mom was buried.

He wanted to ask her to do this together. Start a new adventure after high school and yet he blew it.

But he wanted this, he wanted it so badly and maybe she was right. She was a grown woman she could make her own decision and if for whatever reason, it was him she wanted, who was he to deny her that.

“I'm not in love

So don't forget it

It's just a silly phase I'm going through

And just because I call you up

Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made

I'm not in love.”

He hoped those words weren’t true.

“ Just come with me, please. I’m sorry “

He didn’t know how those words combined with throwing rocks at her window, had managed to convince her to give him a chance at apologizing but he surely wasn’t going to complain.

They were driving along the dark Hawkins’ streets in silence. There was so much either of them wanted to say but neither of them had the heart to do so, too afraid to start a war. Too afraid to damage this any more.

After a few minutes they stopped at the edge of the woods, their place. It was quite and away from the stuffy town that seemed too small most of the time. No one ever came here because really all there was, was a lot of trees and nothing else. But that was all they needed a place to be alone together.

This time though, there were fairy lights hung up from one tree to another like the stars caught on a string.

“ Did you make this ? “ she asked as she stepped out the car.

“ Yeah, I — I know it’s not prom but it’s the best I can give you. I know you deserve more, (Y/N) and I can understand if you want more but you’re right it is your decision. So if you’ll still have me, please please take me back. I love you. “

She didn’t say anything at first, just softly stroked his face with an expression of understanding and compassion in her eyes that he couldn’t understand was directed towards him.

He loved her so much.

“ Billy all I wanted was to dance with you and enjoy being in love. That’s all I ever wanted. And yes I’ll take you back. I never let you go in the first place. Not really. I love you too you idiot “.

His heart had never felt more full.

“ There’s a box of tapes in the car, put all the songs you sang on tapes. Also some that reminded me of you and some that played during some important moments. I know it’s cheesy but whatever. Thought you might wanna pick one, I’ll even dance with you. “

She showered him with kisses like never before. Maybe he did know a thing or two about romance after all.

She had picked one and he turned up his car radio as they both swayed along to the music, surrounded by the stars and the fairy lights and their love.

He was part of her world again and he never ever wanted to leave.

“ Hey ? “

“ Hmm ? “

“ Is that Madonna ? “

“ You know, maybe she isn’t all that bad “.

“You saw through my lies and deception

Yeah I was losing my way

You, you gave my life some direction

And now I'm ready to say

I know there's bound to be some hard times ahead

I'd be a fool to believe

But if you go I'd rather think of dying instead

I never want you to leave”

And those words, Billy could 100% agree with.

Maybe Madonna was right about some things.

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #dacre montgomery imagine #dacre montgomery fanfic #dacre montgomery fanfiction

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stilljumpingback · 6 years

Photo

(via Black Sails Episode 401 - XXIX)

WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

If season three was about leadership and darkness, season four is about friendship and revenge.

Flint and Silver (and Madi) will be the main friendship pairing to watch this season, as already a lot happened that we didn’t see. Post-coitus, Madi tries to remind Silver that he once feared being close to Flint, but Silver is unconcerned now, insisting things are different. They are now secure in their friendship and the power they wield together, no matter Madi’s warning, “When a man first needs you and thereafter calls you a friend, a little suspicion is a healthy thing.”

Silver is presumed dead, but we must wait and see whether or not the “loss” of their friendship will compel Flint toward revenge, which is what we see literally everyone else doing.

Jack and Teach are making rash decisions (personally, for Jack, and communally, for Teach) to seek vengeance for Vane’s death. Berringer commits treason to stay in Nassau and kill pirates to seek vengeance for the death of his comrades at arms. It would seem that intimate relationships would equal a thirst for vengeance…were it not for Anne, who calls bullshit on the whole thing.

“Fuck Charles Vane. I know how you felt about him. I felt the same way, and you know it. But he’s dead, and I can’t see what fucking sense it makes to keep trying to make him happy. All it’s actually gonna lead to is you joining him.”

She sees past the cycle of vengeance, giving us a glimpse of a friendship that can end with grief but not violence.

FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

Flint quoting the Genesis passage about warring twins, the younger of which will defeat the older, seems to be about his hope of a new pirate nation conquering the English empire. But he’s talking to Silver, and it’s hard not to remember Silver’s speech about successors from the season 3 finale.

Flint: We’re so close. So very close. If we can just hold this alliance together just a little longer, if we can just will it forward just a little more… Silver: Nothing will ever be the same for anyone ever again. You and I have willed our men through unthinkable things to get this far. Why not one more? To call Nassau home again.

Silver saying, “our men” is ruining my heart.

Silver has convinced Flint and, more importantly, himself that they share the same goal. But when has Silver ever called Nassau home?

#TriumverateWatch: Madi doesn’t trust Flint despite Silver’s persuasion.

Jack understands the power of speeches: “We are emotional beings, after all, and rhetoric is the fuel that feeds the fire.”

Flint has A+ instincts, but the glorious assault ends before it can begin. I seriously hate England being smart, but I love Flint being smarter. When he orders the sails moved so that the ship can tilt at just the right angle to fire at the fort, providing enough cover for some of them to escape?? SO GOOD.

#TriumverateWatch: It is no coincidence that when Silver falls in the water, we cut between Madi and Flint’s horrified faces and helpless reactions.

Eleanor: The world is changing so rapidly and we with it. Max: We are who we are. Nothing so important changes so quickly.

Eleanor is moving up in the world now that she’s married to Woodes Rogers, but “moving up” means that she’s hidden from battle, embroidering. When she reunites with Rogers, I got the feeling that the underwater barricade was her idea, but she is willing to give up her power and status in order to boost Rogers’. It is VERY disheartening, but she says “fuck” a couple times, so I know her ferocity is still in there somewhere.

Flint: Here I must be careful. I have well over two hundred men unaccounted for. Those who remain, it will be very hard to explain to them why, with all I have to attend to, I choose to stand here hanging onto the fate of just one of them. I know that you and he had been working closely together of late, become friends even. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Perhaps just that he is my friend, too.

#TriumverateWatch: Flint and Madi bond, both over their love for Silver and, more importantly, over their shared understanding of the heavy crowns they wear that prevent them from mourning the man they love in the way they would prefer.

The RAGE with which Flint greets Billy is 100% more vicious because he thinks Silver is dead.

Billy has spent his time on New Providence Island perfecting a wardrobe that shows off his arms to best effect.

Now that Billy must wrestle with the fact that the pirate king he created to supplant Flint is seemingly dead, we flashback to Silver learning of his new role, worrying how it will affect his relationship with Flint.

Despite that, Silver is VERY turned on by Madi calling him a pirate king.

Anne: It ain’t fear to want to do a hard thing smart.

Even though we later find out Jack’s motivation, in the moment of his fighting and looking to Teach for guidance/approval, it definitely feels like he’s just discovered a male role model and realized that men can be good fighters too.

A small hope: no one in Nassau is willing to help England any more.

Rogers understands that this is a war against civilization itself. He will later insist that civilization is courts and fair trials, but right now, civilization is a ruthless monster who, when its power is threatened, will abandon all morals and values. Rogers won’t directly approve of Berringer cutting off DeGroot’s ear (RIP DeGroot’s ear), but he’s definitely not stopping it. THE TWO WORST SIDES OF CIVILIZATION, I see you, overwhelming force and silent complicity.

Flint seems perturbed by Billy going dark and hanging traitors, and honestly, if you make FLINT uncomfortable? Yikes.

Miranda’s house is a war room, and my heart is soooooo sad.

Flint started his journey hoping for domesticity for all where shovels replace oars. As he picks up a shattered teacup, you can see him wondering if he has destroyed the thing he sought in a vain effort to attain it.

Max is both pissed and scared when she realizes that the English are just as ruthless as the pirates. I would feel bad except I’m still mad that she sided with them in the first place. (I GET IT, but I’m still mad.)

In Silver’s absence, Billy is making a play for power. Madi is having none of his pissing contest with Flint, insisting that there will be no pirate king (without Silver).

Flint is not power hungry. He doesn’t care about power in its own right. But he IS control hungry. He doesn’t trust anyone else to accomplish his goal.

Anne: I came here cause we all agreed we had a chance to take Nassau back, have a place of our own. I ain’t here to prove anything! I ain’t here to figure out who I am. And I sure as shit ain’t here to pretend a dead man might think better of me for it.

Anne is on another level from literally every other character. Flint almost matches her in those first two assertions, but he is DEFINITELY trying to get a dead man’s approval. Anne is the queen, all hail the queen. Speaking of queens, maybe Madi matches her? No, even if it’s healthy, Madi is trying to prove she can be the leader her people need.

IN VERY MUCH CONTRAST:

Eleanor: I did all of it, contorted myself into the role, mutilated myself so that it would fit because I believed as long as you believed I was your partner, it didn’t matter what anyone else believed.

Um, Eleanor? I’m worried about you.

“You are not a compromise to me.” UGH, please stop making me like Eleanor/Rogers. I DON’T WANT TO.

Poor Silver. He escapes the ladder and finds air in the ship. Then the ship sinks and he has to struggle to find another pocket of air. Then he crawls onto shore only to find someone rummaging through the bodies to kill any survivors! A literal nightmare.

#Black Sails #blacksails #s04e01 #401 #XXIX #Captain Flint #James Flint #John Silver #Long John Silver #Madi #TriumverateWatch #Billy Bones #Eleanor Guthrie #Woodes Rogers #Max #Jack Rackham #Anne Bonny #Edward Teach

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