#iaw lyric analysis
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Love of my Life, a (different) reading
I want to start this off by saying that I love the idea that Harry Styles wrote a song called Love of my Life about Louis Tomlinson. Love it, love it, love it; love anyone and everyone who interprets this song that way, and this analysis is in no way meant to invalidate that understanding of it.
This is just a personal interpretation, based on which parts of the song resonate the most with me, my understanding of Harry’s writing style, the theme of the album, and which lyrics/words/lines (and tenses) called my attention the most.
That said…
…is Love of my Life actually about privacy and freedom? (This is gonna get long, more under the cut.)
❣️Based on Harry’s writing style:
I spoke a little about Harry’s writing patterns and vocabulary, but one thing that we’ve also noticed over the last three albums is that Harry speaks about people in a very layered way:
‘You’ is usually used as a gender-neutral song subject.
‘She’ and similar words (woman, angel) are more often a reference to himself.
‘Him’ and similar words (boyfriends) volley between a reference to himself or to a possible third person.
It’s obviously not always the case (and we have no way to verify), but Harry hardly ever writes in a way that’s on the nose, so following this pattern, personifying things like privacy and freedom by referring to them as the ‘love of his life’ fits into his pattern of layered writing.
❣️Based on the themes of the album (self-reflection):
“He’s been thinking a lot recently about autonomy, ownership, privacy. About what he should be able to keep to himself, what he should be able to simply communicate through his music without follow-up questions or prying.”
— Better Homes and Gardens
❣️Based on verb tenses:
“You were the love of my life.”
Let’s assume, for the sake of this post, that it really is ‘were’ and not ‘are’. (I always hear ‘were’, myself, but I also don’t claim to have bionic hearing, so don’t take my word for it.)
Why would Harry write one line in past tense, and the rest of the lyrics in present?
There are two ways to read it. Either:
(i) the ‘love of his life’ (person) is no longer the love of his life, but is still currently present in his life, or
(ii) he’s speaking about the ‘love of his life’ (privacy/freedom) in a nostalgic way, as if it’s not consistently accessible/available to him in his current life, but rather something that comes and goes — that he’s only able to experience in small, finite increments.
And, finally,
❣️Based on lyrics: [lyrics in bold, interpretation in italics]
(Thank you @angelsueishome for the lyrics, although I changed ‘are’ to ‘were’ based on what I hear.)
Baby, you were the love of my life
Oh, maybe, you don’t know what’s lost ‘til you find it
— the common phrase is ‘don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone’ and the direct reversal of those themes hints at Harry having found the love of his life (privacy/freedom) again in this new situation (lockdown)
Take a walk on Sunday through the afternoon
We can always find something for us to do
We don’t really like what’s on the news, but it’s on all the time
— if you read ‘we’ here as ‘Harry and his privacy/freedom’, the stanza is pretty straightforward
Take you with me every time I go away
In a hotel using someone else’s name
— ‘you’ as privacy/freedom, again the lines are straightforward
I remember back at Johnny’s place
It’s not the same anymore
— someone mentioned he has a childhood friend named Johnny (though I’m not sure how true), but if we read the line as his nostalgia for his life before fame and how that level of privacy/freedom isn’t accessible to him anymore, it makes sense
Baby, you were the love of my life
Oh, maybe, you don’t know what’s lost ‘til you find it
It’s not what I wanted, to leave you behind,
Don’t know where you land when you fly
But baby, you were the love of my life
— three things to note here: (i) resistance to leaving ‘you’ (privacy/freedom) behind, (ii)‘flying’ as a reference to his fame and the interesting use of ‘land’ (when usually, the opposite of ‘fly’ is ‘fall’), so there’s a connotation of positivity, control and even relief, in the come down to earth (from fame), and (iii) the use of ‘but’ for the first time, signifying the acknowledgement of yearning and slight regret
It’s unfortunate,
Just coordinates
— possibly a reference to how any knowledge of his location (by paps, by fans) is usually how his privacy/freedom is taken away from him
I don’t know you half as well as all my friends
I won’t pretend that I’ve been doing everything I can
To get to know your creases and your ends
Are they the same?
— two things to note: (i) ‘you/your’ as privacy/freedom and how there’s a difference between how he experiences these things (in finite amounts) versus how his friends are able to experience them (consistently), (ii) an admission that, for however much he yearns for it, he’s not ready to give up what he has (fame) to get it back, and (iii) questioning whether privacy/freedom looks/feels/is exactly the same as what it used to be to him.
— — —
Anyway, whew! That took a lot out of me.
TL;DR: I think Love of my Life is a song about Harry’s nostalgia for his privacy and freedom.
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“It’s the way we,
It’s the way we see ourselves through walls of trees.”
— Been thinking about this line a lot because… what is a closet, if not four walls made of wood?
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Omg what are your thoughts on little freak?
Hi, darling! ❤️
So, I was keeping this ask in my inbox because the truth is, even though it’s probably my absolute favorite — like get-the-lyrics-tattooed favorite — Little Freak is the one song that seems to be hovering just above my comprehension.
Every time I think I understand one little line, my understanding of it shifts the context, and the song morphs into another thing altogether, and I’m back to square one. So, fair warning, my interpretation isn’t going to be remotely cohesive and will probably evolve the longer I have the song in my life (I’m already second guessing this as I edit), but for now, this is how I think of it.
Little Freak — a (tentative) reading
Overall, there’s a sense of femininity, sexualization, and youth to the imagery of the lyrics that won’t leave me — that’s been the one constant in my understanding of the song (and part of why I feel like I connect so deeply to it): it sounds like a song I would sing to my younger self (although for very different reasons).
Little freak, Jezebel,
You sit high atop the kitchen counter
— we know ‘Jezebel’ is a Biblical reference, and connotes shamelessness and licentiousness. Jezebel is a temptress (connoting a sense of intention in her seduction) and ‘sitting high atop the kitchen counter’ is likely a reference to being put on a pedestal, or being just out of Harry’s reach. This is my first clue that the song is about Harry, because: (i) we know he often sings about himself in the female perspective, and (ii) there’s an immediate sexualization of this young character (let’s call her Little), exactly like how Harry was immediately sexualized at such a young age.
Stay green a little while
You bring blue lights to dreams
— to say someone is ‘green’ is to say they’re naive, innocent, or inexperienced, which fits really well with the Jezebel imagery, and in that context, bringing ‘blue lights’ to dreams is likely a reference to blue films (porn). Almost like a warning, like an older sibling trying to protect her, Harry is telling Little to stay innocent for just a little longer, even though she L’s already (unknowingly, unwillingly, or both) being coveted by strangers.
Starry haze
Crystal ball
Somehow, you’ve become some paranoia
— Initially, I thought of the first two lines as throwaway lines, placed there for lyricism, but as everything is with Harry, it now reads very intentional to me: translated, I read this as a peek into the future (crystal ball) through the veil of fame (starry haze), Harry saying that Little has become a paranoia can be two-fold: (i) that Harry’s femininity has become something threatening that he has to keep a secret, and/or (ii) that Harry has become constantly paranoid about how the people around him read into his motivations (people thinking he’s a flirt, he’s a womanizer, he sleeps with everything that moves) and it makes him hyper aware of the way he moves in the world, so as not to encourage that image of himself.
Wet dream just dangling
But your gift is wasted on me
— linked to the first four lines, this sounds like Harry is repeating a line he’s been told (that he’s a wet dream), but the gift of being a “sex symbol” doesn’t do anything for him (maybe because he’s queer, maybe because he’s in a committed relationship, maybe because he just doesn’t relish in that kind of attention). This reminds me so much of the way older men (like Howard Stern) talk about Harry — how they expect him to be sleeping with every young thing and have this wild rockstar life, and how different Harry is from that.
This is also the first line in which Harry refers to himself (me), which makes it easy to mistake Harry and Little as two different people — a signature Harry writing move where the nuances in pronouns can lend so many different layers to one line.
I was thinking about who you are
Your delicate point of view
I was thinking about you
I’m not worried about where you are
Or who you go home to
I’m just thinking about you
— I connect to the chorus so much because it’s such a vulnerable set of lyrics. There’s a purity and an innocence in the intention that’s clearly not often given to Little, who, prior to this, has always been objectified. Here, Harry shifts the perspective: he talks about Little in a way that has nothing to do with her physicality (not worried about who you go home to) but astutely focuses on her person (who you are), her mind (her point of view), and her as entire being (just thinking about you).
More specifically though, ‘your delicate point of view’ really tugs at my heartstrings, because those of us who know, know: Harry is strange, and has likely always felt strange — from his fluid taste in clothing, his nerdy obsession with all things music, his love of obscure instruments, his weird creative vision — they’re what makes him such an enigma, such a good artist. But it’s very likely that a younger (Littler) Harry wouldn’t see that as a good thing; would think he was, for all intents and purposes… a little freak.
Did you dress up for Halloween?
I spilt beer on your friend, I'm not sorry
A golf swing and a trampoline
Maybe we'll do this again
Tracksuit and a ponytail
You hide the body, all that yoga gave you
Red wine and a ginger ale
But you would make fun of me, for sure
— @twopoppies pointed out that entire stanza reads like Harry referencing very specific and significant personal memories, and I agree. Additionally, I think these are memories that have maybe clued him into or defined his coming to terms with his femininity. For example, the Halloween line makes me think of when he was young and so amazed that he was wearing tights, and how definitive of a memory that seems to be for him. Tracksuit, ponytail, and yoga makes me think of him at around 19-20 (the Four era, when he would’ve already been working with Harry Lambert) where I can imagine he was coming into his interest in fluidity and fashion, but his exploration of that was probably curtailed by the image he had to keep up for 1D.
I disrespected you
Jumped in feet first and I landed too hard
A broken ankle, karma rules
You never saw my birthmark
— this is the stanza that I feel hovers above my comprehension, because while I’m sure that it ties the first two stanzas together to make the story cohesive, I haven’t been able to find an interpretation that clicks all together for me. What I do find incredibly interesting is that, the way the song is written hints at a feeling of a missed connection. Without any deeper knowledge of who Harry is, it would be easy to see a scene playing out of Harry meeting a beautiful, younger girl at a party, and her slipping through the crowd and him never seeing her again but still thinking about her from time to time.
With the deeper knowledge of who Harry is, and how he writes, the image is similar, but the younger girl isn’t a romantic interest — she’s the younger version of himself that he hasn’t been able to (or allowed to) get to know and discover fully, that keeps slipping through the crowd as he decides whether he should try to catch her or let her flee, though the idea of her, their missed connection, and who they are together as a whole being, still haunts him.
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She vs. Daydreaming: a familiar soundtrack, played in ‘reverse’
We’d all been following the You Are Home twitter, trying to figure out what the patterns of the tweets were, and ever since we got the leaked album, it became pretty clear that less than a handful were actual lyrics.
The tweet that struck me the most was “a familiar soundtrack, played in reverse” because the theme of reversal is pretty strong with Harry in general (Sunflower, vol. 6; Boyfriends), but especially because of the Harry’s House trailer, which is scored to Love of My Life in reverse.
Now, the tweet was obviously referencing that, right? Right.
But what if it was also referencing something else?
Is ‘Daydreaming’ actually ‘She’ written from a reversed perspective? (More under the cut.)
The reason this niggled at me is because we already know Harry writes with patterns and very specific vocabulary (I’ve truly never heard the word ‘antidote’ and allusions to ‘kitchens’ so many times in my life).
Personally, I had a hard time connecting to Daydream on Harry’s House — it was one of those songs (to me) that seemed to whiz past my ear, until I realized the lyrics sounded rather familiar.
‘Daydream’ is a pretty poignant word in the chorus of She, and because Harry’s brain works the way that it does… well…
reverse (verb)
1. To move backwards
2. Make (something) the opposite of what it was
reverse (noun)
1. A complete change of direction or action.
2. The opposite to that previously stated
If we take reversal to mean ‘opposite’ instead of ‘backwards’, then the similarities between She and Daydreaming become pretty stark, based on the overall story:
In She, the protagonist is ‘the man’ who’s thinking of ‘you’ and doesn’t know what to do. He talk of fleeing and sailing away because he wouldn’t know what to say about the ‘she’ in his life, who is living only in daydreams with ‘me’ (the man). The only way he can reconcile these two parts is by living for the memory that’s in his head, while he plays pretend in his reality. There’s a clear melancholy, a forlornness, and lamentation to the song - the protagonist is being pulled apart by two halves of (him)self, and it ends in a feeling of confusion and loss (“I don’t know where she is”).
In Daydreaming, the setting shifts: the characters are housed safely within the daydream (hence, Daydreaming, present tense), and so the protagonist becomes She. (Lyrics of Daydreaming in bold, lyrics of She in pink, interpretation in italics)
Living in a daydream
She said, ''Love me like you paid me''
— that piece of dialogue is interesting, because while it can insinuate something sexual, I tend to read it as inside the daydream, She is loved like She is worthy and not to be taken for granted (since you pay for things of worth and would tend to think twice about wasting something you paid for)
You know, I'll be gone for so long
So give me all of your love, give me something to dream about
— this line is similar to the story and the imagery of the line: ‘A woman who's just in his head / And she sleeps in his bed / While he plays pretend’; this alludes to She being forced into leaving/being separated from ‘him’
Stay until the morning
Cause, baby, loving you’s the real thing
It just feels right
When you give me all of your love, give me something to dream about
— this is a reversal in tone of the lyrics: She / She lives in daydreams with me / She's the first one that I see / And I don't know why / I don't know who she is; She is being recognized, She is being asked to stay, She is loved, She feels right
Living in a daydream
Living in a daydream
Living in a daydream
Give me all of your love, give me something to dream about
Give me all of your love, give me something to dream about
Give me all of your love, give me something to dream about
— essentially, while they’re safe in the daydream, She is asking to be loved enough that when She and he are separated, there’s something to hold onto.
TL;DR: I think Daydreaming is She but rewritten from the opposite: (i) setting (within the daydream instead of from the POV Harry’s reality) and (ii) tone (one song is written in a tone of careful, almost wary discovery of a feminine self, the other is written with the tone of ease, comfort, and confidence, coaxing love and acceptance of that feminine self.)
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So I’ve been thinking about this post for a, frankly, criminal amount of time, and I just needed to put all my love for ‘antidote’ all in one place, so forgive me.
As a writer, I know how crazy particular I am about verbiage — like, it’s an obsession — so when you use such a specific word like antidote repeatedly (in love songs, no less) it pings something in my brain.
antidote (noun)
a medicine taken or given to counter a particular poison.
Two things to focus on:
1. poison - antidotes are particular to poisonous substances, where medicines are for particular diseases/ailments
2. particular - antidotes connote a perfect match, one-is-to-one, a guarantee
When Harry uses the word antidote to describe a person (and/or says a person has the antidote), he’s saying you are the perfect, specific, guaranteed, one and only cure for the venom/poison/toxic and noxious (deadly, possibly) thing/s in my life.
It’s different to using a word like ‘medicine’, for example, because medicines do not connote any kind of specificity or guarantee. Many different medicines can cure many different ailments. At the same time, there’s always a margin of error with medicines - they may or may not work.
When he says antidote, he’s saying you (and only you) save me. You’re the reason I’m okay, you’re the reason I’m alive.
Sound familiar?
Maybe, possibly, almost like…
‘For every question why, you were my because.’
#iaw lyric analysis#iaw thoughts#hs3 lyrics#hs3 spoilers#antidote analysis#lyric parallels#lyric patterns#spoilers tw
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