How do I know if I'm bi?

So this might not be a helpful answer, but it is my genuine thought, and I want to be honest: You know you're bi if you find comfort, or happiness, or understanding of yourself in that label. It's not necessarily about split attraction to multiple genders.

Yes, bisexual people will often be attracted to more than one gender (not just man and woman, either! Many bisexual people aren't attracted to both binary genders because bisexuality is yet another complex and nuanced component of human sexuality, which in itself is inherently complex). Yes, many bisexual people express those attractions, and yes, many bisexual people share things in common. But frankly, not every bisexual is going to have similar experiences or thoughts or expressions of sexuality. My bisexuality is going to look different than yours might because I am a different human being. As such, I think it's less helpful to say "to be bisexual, you need to have these experiences," but it's more helpful to say, "if you find comfort in the bisexual label, use it"

The worst that happens with sexuality labels is you find one that matches better. I used to use the label pansexual when I was younger - the worst thing that happened was I stopped using it a year later when I felt it didn't accurately describe my feelings anymore.

If you suspect you're bi, there's likely a reason for that, and there's nothing wrong with you investigating that further. However, I don't want you to feel like you need to Prove Yourself to even use language that accurately describes your sexuality or sense of sexuality - no matter if that language is as simple as saying you're bisexual or not. Sexuality is an important aspect of identity for many folks, and you deserve the opportunity to make it as important or inconsequential as you want. Nobody is going to throw you in jail for not being bisexual or queer "enough." There's no law that says you have to have a 50/50 split attraction to binary men and women only to be bi. There's no bisexual card we hand out to you, saying you've been vetted as Bi Enough.

LMAO so funny thing is everyone knows the whole Sonic and Shadow looking alike thing is total bullshit and I totally agree those comments they try to pull in the games and show(s? I'm not technically a Sonic fan I dunno if it's multiple) make basically no sense to me but then my Mom comes in while watching Sonic Prime and says "So what, Sonic has a brother or something?" and this whole other world has opened up to me and I've seen the truth of it all

kasander + 😴 please!

Thank you ❤️ Sleep questions about D&D elves always lead peculiar places, don't they?

hc + 😴 for a sleep-themed headcanon

Kasander seldom sleeps willingly. Their trance is already haunted by half-alien memories of blood and darkness, disorganized images they struggle to stitch together and match to their origins. It's upsetting even without any supernatural incursion causing more extreme visions, and it makes them fear resting. Sleeping, on the rare experiment trying to avoid the memories, is much worse. They always dream, and they always dream Bhaal's dreams. And it takes such a terribly long time to wake. So they avoid sleeping, and they're thankful not to have a reason to.

However, sleep is the most convenient way for the Emperor to contact them, and the Emperor has a way of pulling them under whenever he pleases. When they first met and the Emperor was still in the form of the Dream Visitor the Emperor offered to soothe their nights from the restless, terrible trance by quieting their dreams- if only they would sleep, of course. Disoriented, still largely amnesiac, and distressed by the visions, Kasander agreed eagerly (there was a lot of agreeing with the Emperor then) and committed themself to the psionic protection out of desperation for any relief from the growing fear there was something wrong with them. It did seem to work- mostly- but when Kas began to break with the Emperor they stopped sleeping nightly as well. By that point they were ready to grapple with the horrors of trance again, as painful and difficult as they were.

2022 AMV Review

It's a bit late, but since I do yearly writing reviews, I thought it might be fun to do AMV reviews, now that I've started seriously editing with DaVinci Resolve.

This video collects a piece of every AMV I posted last year, from my very first Resolve AMV to the one I made right before my previous laptop broke completely. If I continue this in the future, I think I'd limit it to Top 10 or one per month, but since I only have 10 Resolve AMVs under my belt right now, it felt right to include all of them!

One of my biggest struggles with video editing—and with Creating in general—is doing Too Much, going way overboard and making things worse with the additional time and effort. It's a real struggle to cut back, but I think I'm slowly learning to limit my clip amount to make my videos (slightly) easier on the eyes.

But all that said, I've always admired AMVs but never felt like I could actually make them, so that I uploaded 10 in 2022 is amazing to me! I'm excited to start editing some more on my new laptop!

me when i suddenly remember I can draw whatever i want and it is allowed to look imperfect !!!! and I'm allowed to use pose bases esp if I'm just drawing for fun !!!

im trying to figure out a specific cartoony style I did in one drawing from a few months back, and then I've been wanting to do one of those heart hands poses for a long time so I found a pose base to try a quick sketch tonight just for funsies hehe

SO. Let's do a GOOD NEWS thing regarding the fiberglass. With Ulta's Black Friday sale, AND mom and sis quietly using my rewards card when shopping to build up my points, I got two new palettes in the mail. These will FINALLY fill in the last major gap in my replacement eyeshadow collection, one I've rebuilt a bit with help from friends.

I love makeup, ok? Specifically eye makeup. I love doing bright colors, seasonal looks, movie colors, tv show colors, holiday looks, etc. It's become a thing for me, because I was very depressed and lonely as a teen and and tried very hard to fit the Good Christian Girl mold at church to make friends, which meant very low key makeup and conservative colors in the area I lived. But then I started to make fandom friends online, went to cons with them, and slowly became both more confident and more comfortable being me because they helped show me that Real Me was actually a perfectly likeable person, bright colors and all. Which means shiny sunglasses. Bright colors! Shirts with fandom things, and cool eyeshadow to match! Over the years I picked up a ton of it - collector's editions, gifts, sales on palettes too pricey to buy otherwise. I had maybe 50 individual colors and 20 or so palletes that covered the entire spectrum of the rainbow.

And I lost all of it in a single day to fiberglass.

If I hadn't had some of my basic makeup and two older palettes still packed away in my zipped up backpack , I'd literally have been forced to start back at square one. As it was, I was at... square three, maybe. I'm still not all the way there - it'll take years to build it all back up fully and a lot of those palettes were irreplaceable. But I've got all that I need to feel like me again, and I think that's what counts.

You know it's one thing to rewatch an old hyperfixation comfort movie that shaped so damn much of you as a creator (maybe as a person too, who knows)

It's a whole other thing to suddenly come face to face with a realization that it's been 15 fucking years

Studying and packing for my move have taken over my life rn 😭

just a happy lil rant

sometimes i randomly remember that instead of 'cute, innocent, funny guy' jun's fandom-assigned archetype used to be 'narcissistic fuckboy' back until like 2018ish 🧍‍♀️

i'm rlly happy i started listening to the 1975

LOOK!! ^^

[ image desc: a taken picture of a physical copy of the book Herkes İçin Yapısal Yolla İtalyanca (Structured Italian for Everyone) by Asım Tanış. // end id ]

How do you video edit, though.

Do you add all your clips and then apply effects? Or do you apply effects to each individual clip immediately after placing it on the timeline? Or do you do a mixture of both?

So far, I've been using that first method. Clips first, effects later. I like to get a sense of the whole video before I start going wild with fancying it up, and comparing the WIP effectless version to the final version has gotten me to seriously understand how much of a difference transitions can make for better or for worse:

But while this method works well enough for a video where transitions between clips are really the only effects, I'm attempting a Shinran fancam right now, and I want to try out some more elaborate editing, like kinetic typography, split screens, and complex masking... and how do you even draft stuff like that without going all out? Placeholders, maybe?

I'm just at a standstill now. How do people plan video edits and work on them???

The very slight urge to rp Fu Hua gets stronger every time I Actually read HI3rd. 

For Senti it’s when she beats stuff up; I love that for her; I want that energy in my life. 

the urge to change my name and make a new account to have a fresh clean slate is so big off and on lately djfjkl idk why

i would miss friends and mutuals though and followers i see in my activity feed so i won't do that but like. i kind of wish i could like. not be held down so much by how i feel ppl perceive me, i want to say things or do things that would be considered "out of character" bc i have a lot of shifts going on in brain rn (like things are shuffling around and being re-organized almost?) and i just want to be able to let myself exist without feeling like i need to be consistent fdsfjkl

idk if that makes sense. i probably won't be posting anything to do with that here until its more concrete and i can slowly shift towards that instead of the current state of being, but also i really wish i could share the cool things i'm realizing or piecing together or thinking about, but i just feel like it would be weird or cringe or whatever. but god i feel like this might be really healthy finally and i might be able to like,,, not be literally constantly running shame and suicide in the background of my brain, those might be able to shut down for a bit which would be so nice

You can tell (or well, I can tell) I was struggling badly writing Shadowed Pages before its Hiatus. The amount of random, more eye grating typos is higher than average lmao

I legitimately considered just deleting the fic at the time, but chose to put it on Hiatus instead as I wasn't sure if I genuinely disliked it, or if it was fandom burnout.

(At the time it was real bad, and to be frank....I actually lowkey hated making fanart, which was why I took a complete break from it for a while. The break's still kinda ongoing tbh, but I've been getting more motivated to include it in my art again, just no longer as the only thing I do obvs. Clearly drawing the same thing over and over for years isn't gonna last lol)

I recently reread the fic and yeah, it was probably burnout since I do actually like the plot still it turns out; Idk when I'll get back to that one, but at least its no longer under threat of being deleted so, progress lol