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rjalker · 3 years

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oh my god, im so sorry, it was anything but my intention to come off as condescending! I just assumed you hadn't read the whole series because both its *stupid* long lol, and most people who have your opinions on it haven't read the entire series (including me at first)! I'm actually autistic and have had Animorphs as a special interest since the third grade, so I've read it more times then I can even count at this point, lol. Anyways, I really didn't mean anything by it, so sorry! I just think I want people to enjoy something like this as much as I do, and when someone calls something I like bigoted, it just makes me feel bad by proxy and it gets all blegh, you know? Lol

I'm so sorry people have lied to you about things in the book though! I know that can't feel nice, especially for another person that's read the series so much. I've just met so many wonderful people in the community and it feels like not everyone can be bad, right? A little open-mindedness goes a long way :)

And about my account, I just never use tumblr, and when I do I'm normally logged out. I'm sorry if that puts you off, and if it triggers you I'm totally okay with not messaging you anymore!

(continued) Also, there were just a few things you posted that kinda made me feel like you didn't read the whole series, because I felt like it was a bit more clear if you had read the whole series? Like Jake and Marco grappling against having a controller so close to them, Tobias' identity crisis after becoming a nothlit, Cassie struggling against her own morality and the reasons as to why she's really fighting. It was still wrong of me to assume that, though, and I sincerely apologize.

my problem with empty blogs is that a lot of them are people who I've blocked who are making new blogs so they can harass me/keep accessing my posts, so as long as it's just because you don't use tumblr often, it's fine.

Apology accepted. You aren't a bad person for liking the Animorphs, it would only be if you were actively defending the bigotry that you'd be a bad person.

https://rjalker.tumblr.com/tagged/rjalker-reads-the-animorphs

^ here's a link to my Animorphs tag which you can scroll through if you want to find my reasoning for calling the books and characters bigoted. You can also try searching for their names, rjalker.tumblr.com/search/(insert the character's name here) but tumblr's search function is terrible so that's not guaranteed to actually work.

The short version is:

If Jake wanted to rescue Tom, he could have done so at any time, especially if we are expected to believe that these books take place over the course of three whole years. He could have rescued Tom at literally any point. It would be so easy. He can literally just fake his death if he doesn't want him to be recaptured. Jake never attempts to rescue Tom after the first failed attempt, despite the war apparently going on for three years. If he actually gave a shit about Tom, he would have kept trying to rescue him no matter what.

And the same goes for Marco. Killing his mother is in no way required for them to kill her Controller whose name I can't be bothered to remember right now because I don't care. Marco just immediately jumps straight to murder when capturing people is infinitely easier, especially with the Chee available to help.

I hate Tobias with every fiber of my being. He is an asshole, a misogynist, and just obnoxious. You can just search my blog for his name because there is too much to list. He says he won't accept charity and then he breaks into Cassie's barn to kill her patients. He treats Rachel like shit and laughs when she's upset. There is nothing good about him at all. And it especially pisses me off because he could have been such a good character, but no, he's just an asshole in every respect.

Cassie has also done too much horrible crap for me to just summarize it. Re-read book 19 if you have it, and put yourself in Karen's shoes. Cassie prioritizes making friends with the slave owner who is currently torturing their slave over rescuing the slave, who is a little girl being tortured. Cassie, at every opportunity, places her standing on the moral highground over the safety and wellbeing of everyone around her, including literally everyone on the planet.

#Rjalker reads The Animorphs #The Animorphs #Animorphs spoilers

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imacrowcawcaw · 5 years

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These Dreams (Sanny) 1/3

*Just realized that this is super long and the formatting is a mess so I'm breaking it into three and cleaning it up*

Title: These Dreams

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Wattpad and Deviantart, Tumblr - imacrowcawcaw

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing: Danny Wagner/Sam Kiszka, Josh Kiszka/Jake Kiszka at the end

Warnings/Tags: first time, first kiss, smut, frontage, grinding, fluff, attempted humor, discussions of underage attraction

Summary: *No actual underage sex graphically depicted, but it's talked about*

*twincest at the very end*

"'You're telling me that we've known each other, been near inseparable, since seventh grade, and you've never once thought about it? At all? You've had to have thought about giving guys a try at least once, everyone questions their sexuality." Sammy gave him a shit eating grin. He scooted even closer to Danny, so that their knees touched and their noses weren't more than half a foot apart. Danny stopped laughing.'

Author's Notes: Sammy seems to be the instigator in most things, and Danny always seems to be secretly in love (in my stories), but I like it like that lol.

God I finished this at midnight lol

For Helena and everyone else who needs gvf content down deep in their soul like I do

Sorry, it's kinda dialogue heavy

Singing along to Fleetwood Mac gave me the title

*I am marking this as underage because there is discussion of attractions and fantasies while they were underage, masturbation, losing virginity while under 18. But there is no graphic underage sex actually written, both boys are at like 20 or nearly 20 (today era) where I place this. (Also will not be posted on Rockfic because I've made that mistake once before and I respect their rules and the reasons behind them)

-----------------------

"What if we fucked?"

Danny let his head roll to the side on his pillow so he could eye Sam.

"What?"

"I dunno, it was just a random idea. Like, don't you think it would be kinda fun?"

Danny stared at him, confusion and amusement mingling on his face. This wasn't the weirdest thing Sam had said in, hell, the last half an hour? But, still, the hypothetic had Danny's attention simply because the idea was something he never really thought about - or, at least, never thought would ever happen. A boy had wet dreams and fantasies, they weren't always things he would actually act on.

"I've never thought about it."

Just not gonna mention those dreams. Or the one time he jacked off while sharing a bed with Sam, nose breathing in the scent of his hair and eyes roaming his best friend's sleeping backside. That never happened, okay?

"Really, like never?"

Sam actually looked surprised. He had?

"You're telling me that we've known each other, been near inseparable, since seventh grade, and you've never once thought about it? At all? You've had to have thought about giving guys a try at least once, everyone questions their sexuality."

"Well- I mean..."

To come clean or to not come clean, that was the question in Danny's mind. Sammy seemed totally cool with the idea, though, so it probably wouldn't do him any harm to admit it. Unless this was a prank? Nah, Sam loved jokes but this wasn't his style. He would never pick on someone for something like this, he much preferred messing with Danny in other ways.

"Fine, yeah, I've thought about it. Had a really intense dream in like, eighth, that freaked me out for a while. Didn't know how to deal with it then, ya know?"

"See, I knew it! Everyone thinks about it! What was your dream about?"

Sam bounced on the bed like an excited puppy - which, he was. A cute, fluffy, yapping ball of energy with too big feet who got super excited whenever he met new people, that was Sammy. How could Danny not love him?

"Do you really wanna hear about this?"

He had to know, just to make double sure, that Sam wasn't pulling his leg.

"Yes, I do! It's interesting to think about. And - if you tell me about your's, I'll tell you about mine?"

"Wait, your dream? What? When? How much have you thought about this? Like, being with a guy, or with me? How come you've never said anything?!"

Why was this the first time he'd heard about this? Sam was usually very vocal about everything he was thinking, at least when in private with his brothers and Danny.

Though, he guessed he knew why: it was the same reason he'd never really mentioned his own dreams and ponderings to Sam.

"Well, how come *you've* never said anything?" Sam countered. "And I'll tell you what I've thought about, but later; I wanna hear hear about this dream that freaked you out so bad. What could it have even been?"

"Mr. Oakenstein."

"WHAT?!"

Danny was cracking up at Sam's face, he looked like he'd just been told that Gibson was going out of business or something.

"Please tell me you're joking!" Sam begged. Poor boy, Danny should put him out of his misery.

"Of course I'm joking, doofus! God - Mr. Oakenstein? He was at least seventy five when we took bio! There's no way that - if I liked guys - I'd be into him. He's so wrinkly and hunched and- and *jowly*."

They both shuddered. Mr. Oakenstein's name brought back unpleasant memories of weekly chapter tests (how was it even possible to go through a book that fast?) and frog electrocution, not to mention the mental image of his sagging, jiggly face.

"Would he have even been able to get it up? Like, how long does Viagra take to kick in? You'd just have to lay there waiting and looking at him - which, ugh. That would be a nightmare, not a dream."

"Yeah," Danny agreed, still giggling a little bit, "I didn't dream about him, but it definitely would have freaked me out more if I had. Hey, you still think Miss Marcie is hot?"

Danny was procrastinating, they both knew it, but this was always a fun conversation to have.

"Always, dude. I still remember with, like, perfect clarity the time she had me come in during lunch to go over my test. I looked up and she was *right there* leaning over me reading what I was doing, and I could kind of see up her shirt... man, I was so distracted the rest of the day."

Sam sounded dreamy, lost in his memories of a hot tenth grade teacher.

"I remember that day! You were so distracted after school on the way home, you nearly drove us into a lake. And at band practice you kept messing up, Joshie nearly strangled you with his mic cord."

"Yeah! Man, I was so hard, I couldn't fucking concentrate on anything else except for trying not to cum right then and there. As soon as we called it quits for the day I was in the bathroom; and of course Jake knew what was up and wouldn't stop ribbing me about it the rest of the night."

"Damn, that bad? I mean, she was hot but she wasn't, like, *amazing*, was she?"

"You might not think so, but Miss Marcie is always gonna have a place in my heart. And the spank bank," Sam sighed. They both snickered.

"Well, what about you, hmm?" He asked. "If you didn't like Mr. Goldenstein, then who? Everyone gets hot for teacher."

Sam hummed the lyrics to the classic for a minute, Danny filling in the guitar parts. Neither of them listened to Van Halen that much, but how could you not know that song?

After a little drum solo on his thigh while Sam progressed into increasingly southern banjo sounding guitar noises, Danny stopped and answered.

"I agree, Ms. Marcelina was really hot, but she had NOTHING on Mrs. Bell. Do you remember that red dress she uses to wear?"

"Of course I do! The economy of the United States has never been so interesting!"

Danny snorted. "Dude, you never gave a shit about econ, you just liked to stare at her. Which, okay, I did too. She made that class bareable."

"I'd say she made it a bit more than bareable. And yeah, that red dress was something else,"

Sam rolled onto his side.

"Hey, what if Mr. Goldstein wore a red cocktail dress. Would you go for him then?"

Sam laughed when Danny shoved at his shoulder, shaking with amusement and disgust at the thought.

"You know, I've never entertained that thought, but I am SO glad you brought it to my attention. I'll never be able to *stop thinking about it* now, Samuel."

Sammy gave him a shit eating grin. He scooted even closer to Danny, so that their knees touched and their noses weren't more than half a foot apart. Danny stopped laughing.

Part 2

#Greta Van fleet #gvf #gvf fic #gvf slash #Danny Wagner #Sam Kiszka #Sanny #fluff #smut #humor #first time #kissing #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #lulucrowproductions #fics

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lily-stargazer · 2 years

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Private little secret

I'm genuinely sooo tired of the world. Im not giving up on it, but honestly im terrified of where its going. The internet, social media is toxic in a way im petrified. People forget about humanity and society and all they think about is status, followers, likes, notes etc. I'm not gonna lie, I can relate to that a bit. Sometimes I cry because my drawings have what? 30 likes? Sometimes 60. Maybe its a lot for people with 2 likes or 0, but its not about the "like", its the need of approval. Maybe some people would think its shallow or stupid, but God, its so hurtful when i spend 5 or 8 hours on a stupid drawing (god forbid calling it art) and seeing it being completely ignored or "flop" as people say. I want to be humble and be happy with every accomplishment, but I can't help but feeling pathetic, ridiculous, a failure. That's the opposite from what I've learned my entire life, but it's that annoying little voice that doesnt seem to shut up.

Yes, it's been frustrating and disappointing. But I wont give up, I would never do that. Its just really annoying and infuriating! HOW COME MILLIONS OF PEOPLE DONT EVEN TRY AND GET SOOO MUCH REPERCUSSION? alright i may know the answer, they do try blablah, they have strategies and talent, they deserve it.

But... shouldn't I deserve it as well? Idk is this selfish? If I'm being honest, I feel like I deserve nothing. Im trying, though. To be a better artist, a better friend, daughter etc... a good person. And its exhausting seeing the community being so toxic, and people seeing posts of people as they were bots or numbers. They are PEOPLE. Actual PEOPLE.

I have a second tumblr. That one has like 10k followers and I find it AMAZING HOW 10.000 PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKED MY STUPID POSTS HAHA 😄 They are silly incorrect quotes and I love making or adapting them, I love when someone says it made them laugh. And thats what i want with my drawings eventually. I dont post enough on my ig, but I have big plans, and its just so scary... I feel like im not catching up. As if im growing older and smaller every year. Maybe im better than what i was last year, but its SO F*CKING HARD TO SEE people that were better and now are almost greek gods or smth.

I might be exaggerating lol but its all based on an actual truth: I dont know how to fix myself.

I dont know how to get over this stupid inferiority complex, self-esteem issues, the need of validation, fear of trying and failing.

Those things, things I know what they are have been HAUNTING ME for years. And kept me from growing much more. I COULD BE A WAY BETTER PERSON NOW! I COULD HAVE CAUGHT SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES I LEFT BEHIND, BECAUSE I WAS SCARED. what is wrong with me??? Why WHY cant I just trust and believe and be able to try??? I CANT CONTROL EVERYTHING! IT DOESNT MATTER IF PEOPLE DONT SEE!

I've tried therapy, I've tried changing my mind, and these little things and obstacles seem to be stuck and always come back.

I just want to get better 😔

I dont want people to see this, this blog is like my secret. But I'm posting it because it feels good to scream at an empty room or in a cave. Where no one is there to hear you. Where I can say these things and not be afraid someone else might see. But if I keep this in my drafts, it will be like I kept to myself lol.

It makes zero sense, but idc. What I love about tumblr is that I can post literally anything and not be afraid of getting zero likes or views. Its like my private little secret 😊

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