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ryker-writes · 1 year

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No I’m sorry but if Azul was my sibling and he treated me like that he’d be dead to me. I would have torn into him the second he tried to get me to sign anything. Believing he’s above me and everyone else? No better the those who used to pick on him. I’d quite then and there and even after his overblot if he tried to call me his sibling I’d make it very clear that with the way he’s treated me at this point he’s just a cruel stranger with the same parents

Fair. A lot of people have actually said that they wouldn't forgive the boys after what they've done. The amount of people who've asked for this amazes me

For those who didn't see the first part, you can find it here

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Azul as a sibling (Broken relationship with no forgiveness)

Azul had been avoiding you for years now

it started when he became friends with the Leech twins

before then you had always been there for him

always defended him when others picked on him

but when he met the Leech twins, he didn't need you anymore

and he cast you aside

even when you both got into NRC, he didn't pay you much attention

but he made you work for him at the Mostro Lounge with all the worst jobs possible

while you worked for him, he barely ever interacted with you

the only times he did was to tell you not to call him brother

and then he wanted you to sign a contract

it said that you would work and do anything he wanted you too, and you could never tell anyone that you were related, you used to be close, or even give details of his childhood

in return you get some of the better jobs like actually dealing with customers and more discounts

there was no way you were signing that

the contract basically wanted you to become a slave to Azul and for slightly better jobs and a few extra bucks off the food you make?

not a chance

who does he think he is?

you two were family at one point but it's like he thinks he's so much better than you now

this was not the Azul you knew in the past

this was someone you've never met

enough was enough

you teared apart his contract and said

"If you don't want to be siblings that badly, then fine. We aren't siblings. I'm not going to sign some contract in order to be bossed around by someone who wants nothing to do with me. In fact, I quit. You're no better than those who used to bully you."

with that, you walked out

Azul was angry, but you didn't care

you didn't want anything to do with him

so you left Mostro Lounge and hung out elsewhere on campus

you made your own life and got friends who didn't associate you with Azul

then a few weeks later, there was talk of another student overblotting

it didn't take long for someone to mention who it was

of course Azul would overblot

it didn't matter much to you

but then you noticed Azul around you more often

he didn't say anything and was just "coincidentally" in the same place as you when you were

there would times when you would glance near him and see the panic set into him

Azul really wanted to say something but was too nervous and didn't know where to start

you didn't even give him the time

you never talked to him, and never even looked directly at him

until one day when you were having a disagreement with a classmate

Azul thought this would be the perfect time to step in and show that he still cares and even start a conversation

maybe you would even be grateful for his help

"Excuse me? It would be wise to watch what you say. After all, that's my sibling you're talking about."

how dare he

how dare he step in like everything was fine now and even try to "help" you like you couldn't help yourself

the classmate walks away and you're left with Azul who looks very proud of himself

until he looks at you and sees just how cold your expression is

"Listen to me Azul. I don't need your help, and we certainly aren't siblings. I used to defend you all the time and you returned the favor by pushing me away and trying to get me to serve you. You are not the Azul I used to know. You are just a cruel stranger that's taken up too much of my time."

he looked slightly stunned and then he avoided even looking at you

whatever

for how he's treated you for years, this is what he had coming

you weren't going to put yourself through that kind of pain again

so as you walked away from Azul and his life, you simply said

"You should be glad. After all, you never wanted to be my brother in the first place. You got what you wanted."

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst azul #azul ashengrotto #twst azul x reader #azul x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 6 months

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Ello! Can I request Fnaf movie Mike meeting like a Homeless kid who lives in the pizzeria who gives him tips and tricks to survive headcanons? Basically to confuse the robots they like wear the head of a offbrand/prototype Crow animatronic? They just chill and goof around but remain out of sight from the famous man behind the slaughter and his daughter? :3

Ever since you've made Freddy Fazbear's Pizza into your "home", you quickly learned the ins and outs of the establishment.

You knew what times the animatronics automatically started their shows, where all the security camera blindspots were, how to make a pizza quick and easy, etc.

Above all else, however, you knew how to avoid those robots so they didn't try to make you like them.

Normally, they'd be protective over children--they weren't hostile because you were a homeless kid breaking in and living there.

It's the missing kids themselves.

They've visited your dreams, and every time it ends the same way: with Cassidy asking if you wanted to "join" them and getting frustrated when you refused.

You learned what happened to them and communicated via drawings for a while...until you accidentally broke something, which made them assume you were deliberately trying to destroy the place.

So you've been playing a sort of cat-and-mouse game since, often pranking them and thwarting their attempts to capture you, but never meaning anything ill by it.

If anything, they seem to like these little games, too.

After reading some old employee handbooks, you discovered that the animatronics have a programming glitch that makes them confuse humans for endoskeletons without suits on--and they'd use lethal ways to "fix" them.

Conveniently, you've found a costume head of a crow (likely from a partner of Freddy's or some ripoff brand) backstage, and after successfully tricking Foxy with it...you realized how helpful this could be to the security guards who've applied here and "vanished".

Fastforward to when you meet Mike, fully aware he's the next guard to possibly die (the last one got himself killed before you could even properly warn him in advance--not that he would have believed you anyways).

He's understandably concerned bc you're just a kid who's all alone here with no family, and given his trauma....he suddenly feels like he needs to protect you.

Instead, though, it's the opposite.

"Slide that toolbox in front of the floor vent."

He eyes you strangely, wondering why a kid was bossing him around. "...why?"

"Trust me."

The second Mike does that, he jumps as something starts growling and slamming against the vent's grates, clearly trying to get out and failing as it retreats soon after.

"What the hell was that??"

"Probably just rats." You innocently shrug. "Or Mr. Cupcake who seems especially hungry tonight."

"I'm sorry....the cupcake moves?"

You realize he's absolutely clueless, so you tell him about the animatronics and their routines, showing him the crow costume head.

He's impressed that you know so much about this place (like you were an employee), but he doesn't believe they're capable of doing any harm until later on.

When he brings Abby, you easily see through the facade they're all putting on for her, but you play along with their antics while building the pillow fort (although you avoid talking or looking at Vanessa, never trusting her nor the yellow rabbit your "friends" spoke of).

During the final night where you both rescue her from Chica, you urge Mike to use the crow mask to trick Bonnie and Freddy.

He was certain it'll never work.

They couldn't be that dumb....surely they'll know it's him trying to sneak backstage..

Plus the mask was stuffy and heavy, and he just think it's easier to taze them.

But at your insistence, he tries it on and is shocked when they stare at him for a moment, before continuing their scheduled "show", completely unaware of his ruse.

It does make him wonder how you figured that out all on your own..

#clanask #anonymous #fnaf x reader #five nights at freddy's x reader #fnaf movie x reader #fnaf mike #child reader #platonic #headcanons

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lucyskywalker · 4 years

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I may be a Arya stan; but Dany is my second favorite character, so I am here to defend her and I got fucking tired of this hipocrisy. Warning: If there are mistakes on it, I'm sorry, because Im not a specialisty on Dany's arc. This is just me wanting to get some frustration out of my chest.

I'm getting tired to open Twitter, Quora and Reddit with all the ASoIaF "intelectuals" calling Dany a tyrant, when it is clear that they don't even know what the word means. Calling her a slaver. Calling her a monster. Also, there are uncountable that points out she would be nothing without Viserys. You guys know who I'm talking about, right? The one who abused his little sister emocionally, phisically and sexually. Sold his little sister as a slave/let clear that would not raise a hand if all the khalaser raped her, because he needed an army. This Viserys is the only one Im talking about.

"Poor Viserys. He didn't deserve it."

"Poor slaver, mad Danielle destroyed the economy."

"Poor masters crucified. They only have grown in this community. They are not wrong. This fucking white savior is."

Those people have the audacity to say it, and after that, the same profiles change all Sansa's storyline, says Sansa deserves the dragons, what she could do with dragons, and I'm damm sure they are the ones who writes and read fanfics where they put their dear redhead on Dany's place.

The audacity of some people is something infuriating. You know what? Dany is NOT a fucking TYRANT, much less a slaver. How can you point it out, when Dany was a SLAVE herself?! She was SOLD to the dothraki! Why this needs to be said?!

Because she liked the dothraki?

Dany was a pre-teen that was mentally, phisically and sexually abused during her all life, and this is OBVIOUSLY include her childhood.

She just started liking the dothraki after she accepts and takes "control" of her sexual life; or better, just accepts being raped by Drogo as a part of her life, in exchange of it she is respected by the whole khalasar and is gifted with "love" and "care". This is disgusting. It is more disgusting people calling her a bitch because of it! DAENERYS WAS THIRTEEN YEARS OLD! GIVE A THIRTEEN YEARS OLD CHILD WHO WAS ALWAYS ABUSED AND HARESSAD BY HER OWN BROTHER A BIT OF CARE AND " SICK LOVE" THIS CHILD WILL LOVE THEM BACK! THIS IS THE BASIC OF PSICHOLOGY WHEN YOU DEAL WITH AN ABUSE SURVIVOR! THIS IS WHY VICTIMS OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS TENDS TO DEFEND THEIR ABUSERS! THAT'S THE REASON DANY STILL REMEMBERS OF DROGO AND VISERYS FOUNDLY EVEN IN ADWD!

The dragons? Dany LOVES her dragons! The mother of dragons is not only a nicknam, much less a title. For Dany they are her children! But she is afraid, she was afraid because she finally saw her loved children were dangerous creatures to others. This is why she locks them. It hurts her, but the safety of her people comes first. She choose to make this sacrifice.

Also for all the crazy people who says Dany would be nothing without her dragons and it was given to her, I say "shut up". Dany was presented with eggs. Who've read Fire & Blood or payed a fucking attention in ASoIaF knows that having dragon eggs means nothing! The eggs were stone! Dead to everyone! In centuries, since the Dance with Dragons there were no dragons. Targaryens loose their life trying to hatch them. Dany is special. She entered into the fire, without knowing she would survive, and the dragons hatched. She was the first kalheesi ever to lead a khalasar. The khalasar just follow the strong ones.

About the tyranny? I can write a fucking whole essay about her called "tyranny". Dany is harsh, this is true. She is vengeful. But you know what more she is? Daenerys is just!

She was an outsider who saw a whole community that enslaved people, children, men and women, and saw that it was fucking wrong!

More than that. Dany saw it was wrong, but she also saw she could change it. She had the power to make it better. So she did.

In centuries, westerosi people and anothers have seen slavery, some despised but didn't do anything to change the situation. Dany was the only one in centuries to see it by what it was and try to change the disgusting slaver culture in slaver's bay.

She could have taken only the unsullied and sailed to Westeros, but no. She choose to stay and make things right. She decided to fight for freedom.

More than that, as queen of Meereen she tries her best to be the best ruler she can be. She wants her people to love her, and she works for it intead of being passive as someone we know damm well. She hears her councillors. Would a tyrant do that? No. Aerys was a tyrant. He would kill anyone who speaks against his will. Dany is not that person. She is not her father. This is her writing. She is a Targaryen through and through, but a tyrant? Never. This is thesis of her arc ass it can be stated by Barristan Selmy who served the Mad King.

Was it wrong to end slavery? I don't think so. Dany tought it was only ending slavery, but she finally saw the political consequence of it, and what I love about her? She is not running away from it. She is facing the consequences bravely. She decided to marry again to please the meereen people and the called "sons of the harpy", because she wanted peace! She wanted her people to stop suffering. This was her wish. More than the iron throne.

The iron throne? Is it wrong for her to want justice and blood from the ones she believes betrayed a good King? To want what is hers by birthright? Because this is what Daenerys knew about her father. Aerys was a good king, betrayed by the Lannister, Baratheon and Starks because the usurpers wanted the throne. Viserys told it to her since she was a young child. It was a fact. How is Dany supposed to know every damn thing? Just recently she is learning the truth of how mad Aerys was.

Also, if people get mad if Dany rides Drogon in the next book, I say fuck you. It's a war she is fighting. Her enemies would be glad to see her head on a spike. If Dany fights back, I will congrelute her.

Dany is incredible complex, with flaws and a lot of redeem qualities. Her arc is awesome to read. If you can't stand that war, death, and that there are no perfect hero, you are at the wrong fandom. ASoIaF is not for you. Get out of here.

And for the stansas and jonsas, because these disgusting people who claim those things can just be part of darling redhead. What your "favorite" have done untill now in the books? Betrayed her family? Survived? Killing her cousin what you claim she is too dumb for noticing? Wow. How spacial. It is easy to "love" such a great incredible cough* passive classicist*cough character. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I know damm well who I stan.

I stan Daenerys of House Targaryen

I stan Arya of House Stark.

I accept their flaws and qualities equally. And I love them for being such incredible grey complexes characters.

For the ones that still say "poor Viserys", and "poor slavers" and "poor masters", I just say one thing:

#daenerys targaryen #fuck this shit #asoiaf #got negativity #the dragon queen #the mother of dragons #a song of ice and fire #i stand by daenerys #daenerys deserved better #anti sansa stans #anti stansas

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xtruss · 4 years

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Which Players Have Been The Biggest Losses to Cricket This Century?

Mohammad Asif, patron saint of what-could-have-beens Getty Images (A Boak Bollock who involved himself in a match fixing crimes and killed his own promising career. Otherwise he would be the most fiercest, formidable, intimidating and dangerous fast bowler of the Cricketing World.)

— Jul 9, 2020 | ESPN Staff

In this edition of Rabbit Holes, Osman Samiuddin, Andrew Fidel Fernando and Sidharth Monga gather for a round of lamentation and breast-beating over cricket's greatest unfulfilled talents and shed tears over what might have been.

Andrew Fidel Fernando, ESPNcricinfo's Sri Lanka correspondent: So, the biggest losses to cricket this century. I think given the people involved in the conversation, this will quickly degenerate into a Mohammad Asif support group. But there are so many others who've not had the careers we all wanted them to have.

Osman Samiuddin, senior editor: Wait, what? This is not the Asif Anonymous Group already?

Fernando: "Hi, I'm Osman, and it's been ten years since I last watched Asif bowl. (breaks down sobbing uncontrollably)"

Sidharth Monga, assistant editor: And the thing is, Asif don't care. Or at least doesn't seem to care.

Samiuddin: Although the thing is, I think Asif does care. In that interview with Umar Farooq it was clear he cares about how people remember him. Maybe just not enough to get bogged down by it.

Monga: He has moved on better than us. Which is him being kinda, "Yeah, this is life, what are you going to do about it?" But I also like that he is turning out in domestic cricket despite there being no hope that he will ever bowl at the highest level again. This is every ball of his first two spells of the QeA final in 2017-18. Cruelly, captained again by Salman Butt, who chose to field first, which is something you don't do in Test cricket these days. And the first two comments on the video!

Samiuddin: For the longest time - and even now - I believe that the careers of Kumar Sangakkara and AB de Villiers would have turned out different had they had to play Asif often.

Fernando: Sanga would have got out cheaply to Asif five times in a row one series and retired in shame in 2012 - that's how your fantasy goes, right?

Samiuddin: Earlier, ideally.

Monga: Hashim Amla, AB and Kevin Pietersen didn't even play him that much, but the little that they did was enough to convince them he was the best bowler they faced. Ahead of all the other legends of the time.

Samiuddin: But with the advances in batsmanship - though, I guess mostly in white-ball cricket - how would Asif have responded? It's not a bad time to be a Test bowler though, so he probably would have been okay still.

Remember when Asif took 6 for 41 in Sydney in 2010, in a losing cause? Getty Images

Fernando: I do think Asif would have loved some of the tracks Pakistan have played on in the last five, six years.

Samiuddin: The UAE? I mean, imagine Misbah captaining Asif - would he have turned him into an offspinner?

Fernando: Hah, true, but I meant more outside the UAE. Those New Zealand greentops where you can only see the batsman from the helmet up, because of the grass cover. He would also have adored a lot of the tracks Pakistan played on in Sri Lanka, in the middle of the last decade, when they were visiting every other weekend.

Samiuddin: Also can't help but think how he would have gone in Australia. He had one great Test there - in Sydney - but that surface was green that first morning and it had rained and clouds were around, so it was ideal. I think that's probably the last time Australia had anything other than a flat track. His set-ups were like Warne in conception - this one of Clarke especially. He bowled four-five balls to Clarke before this, all good length, on off-stump line, either not seaming or seaming away. Two-three he left alone to keeper. One he drove. This one he tried to drive again and it was the first one that seamed in. So, so, so simple.

Monga: Did you say set-ups? And he did it all without a perfect upright seam the way Mohammed Shami's is. Or maybe bolt upright is not perfect, who knows. Also, Marcus North getting out in three balls reminds me of Asif once saying he is sometimes disappointed with batsmen who don't let him set them up properly and get out before the payoff.

Samiuddin: There was also a great set-up of Shane Watson in a previous Test, where Asif bowled to an 8-1 off-side field for a couple of overs and well wide of off stump. Like, really wide outside. Almost unnoticed he was pulling Watson further and further out to the off side. And then suddenly, when literally nobody was expecting it, he bowled one a little straighter, quicker, it swung in a fair bit. Watson had moved out to off stump in anticipation and the ball ended up missing Watson's leg stump by millimetres. I don't think I would ever have seen a dismissal like that. All that work for one ball and it only narrowly didn't come off.

Fernando: I feel like we could be on Asif all day.

Samiuddin: The point of all of which is that I don't think I have regretted not seeing more of any cricketer than Asif. So that's decided. How about some others?

Though, I mean, Pakistan could put out three XIs of these players who were lost and they could play a pointless tri-series among themselves. Like Mohammad Zahid. Fastest four balls Brian Lara faced in his life.

Monga: Would Umar Akmal qualify?

Fernando: And if we're doing a long Pakistan lamentation, is Fawad Alam in the mix?

Samiuddin: Hundred per cent. Not lost so much as ignored. Overlooked. Spat upon. Trampled.

Monster on a monstrous pitch: Jesse Ryder cut, drove and hooked to 83 in the 2011 World Cup quarter-final in Mirpur, while other batsmen struggled Getty Images

Monga: But we're drawing the line at Ahmed Shahzad?

Fernando: I'd like to throw two Kiwi names into the mix. Both of whom played 18 Tests. Both players of extreme quality. Lost to the game for reasons very different to Asif.

Samiuddin: Martin Guptill?

Fernando: Hah, no one so painfully vanilla. The first I'm thinking of, of course, is Jesse Ryder.

Samiuddin: Did you not once spend an entire six-month period of your life trying to chase him down?

Fernando: For a potential feature, yes, highly unsuccessfully. He was still playing. And still burning bridges. It was like the story hadn't actually stopped unravelling, so no one really wanted to talk about it.

Ryder just had such an instinctive feel for the game, whichever format he was playing. A rock-solid defence, a brutal pull shot, threw all of himself into those drives. When he middled it, you couldn't actually see the ball before it reappeared outside the boundary rope.

Monga: Underrated bowler and exceptional catcher to go with it. And he sold out stadiums. People came to watch Jesse Ryder.

Fernando: He was a monster at backward point.

Samiuddin: In that 2011 World Cup quarter-final in Dhaka, pitch like porridge - that was the only time I saw Ryder play and, my lord, if that wasn't the innings of that tournament. His timing that day was freakishly good. On that pitch - and the thing is, it's difficult to articulate - the difference in watching him bat and others that day was just so, so vast that you had to question yourself. Like, were you assessing the pitch wrong and were the rest just crap?

Monga: New Zealand is so not the country for Jesse. I remember him scoring a flawless double-century against India in Napier, and then breaking a chair or something in disgust when he got out. You can guess what got reported the next day.

Fernando: So I remember this crazy Ryder innings, where again, at the end, a chair got smashed (after a lot of Sri Lankan bowlers had also been smashed).

Samiuddin: I'm seeing a pattern here...

Monga: If I were the coach I would carry extra chairs.

Fernando: It was in the 2009 Champions Trophy. Ryder pulls a hamstring or a calf very early in this match. I think he was 7 off 7 or something like that. Basically can't run. And so he just starts blasting boundaries. Ten fours and a six - 74 off 58 balls.

Monga: He wasn't much for foot movement anyway, but somehow always played close to his body.

Forget the batting for a minute: Ryder also took blinders, like this one to dismiss Upul Tharanga in the 2011 World Cup semi-final AFP

Fernando: Opening partner Brendon McCullum, who is supposed to be this shining paragon of Kiwi aggression, ambles to 42 off 74 at the other end. Eventually Ryder gets out, and he's clearly not happy. Just when he thinks he's out of view of the cameras, he absolutely lays into a plastic chair. Just destroys it with his bat. Except, of course, he wasn't out of view. This was seen and replayed many times. I'm sorry but I loved everything about that.

Samiuddin: Actually more than anything else, New Zealand need(ed) Ryder in their team to shed themselves of the "nicest guys in cricket" tag. I mean, yeah, of course, runs and stuff, but they need a guy in that side who does things like that.

Fernando: The New Zealand hill I will absolutely die on is that they would have converted one of their two World Cup finals into a win if Ryder was in the team. I don't blame the people who kicked Ryder out, really, because he's been given chances by many coaches in various continents - both domestic and international - and he's not managed to rein his behaviour in. But if Ryder had managed to improve the behaviour to juuust within that line, I think we would think of New Zealand as one of the great teams of the last decade, instead of just a very good one. And also just the thought of Williamson trying to captain Ryder - there could have been books written and films made just on that relationship.

Monga: I just feel cricket, especially the international variety, is very tough on someone like Jesse. It would have been a miracle if he had survived. Ross Taylor and Ryder were both discovered together. Neither came from a privileged background, but Taylor's privilege was that he had his act together. Mark Greatbatch, one of their earlier coaches, I remember, told me how Ryder was more skilled but Taylor was more rounded as a person. Ryder would throw up in the bin at the nets, Taylor would come home with a bottle of wine.

Samiuddin: Without knowing the details and insider stuff, was he so, so, so difficult to handle that they really couldn't find a place for him in the team at all? Or make it work somehow?

Fernando: They didn't throw him away lightly, tbf. They gave chances. And many people - agents, coaches, mentors - have tried various approaches and it's not worked out.

Samiuddin: I think that is the other point about these players, that they make so much of an impression, you're always left feeling somehow if the others - boards, teams, managers, agents - had just done something else/more he would have been okay.

Monga: More than anything, they also tell us that sometimes you have to accept things as they are. Especially when a team such as New Zealand does all it can get to keep you in. What joy it was to watch him in full flow. But it wasn't meant to be.

Samiuddin: Who was the other Kiwi?

Fernando: Okay, yes, enough Ryder. Someone who was at the other end of the spectrum in terms of temperament, but also glorious to watch in full flow. Guesses?

Samiuddin: Bond. The name is Bond.

Fernando: Nailed it. Like, Shane Bond with his yorkers.

Samiuddin: Bond is long gone as a bowler, but I feel like he's everywhere in the actions of so many modern fast bowlers.

Shane Bond, destroyer of Australia, failed by his own body Getty Images

Fernando: Huge influence on Tim Southee and Trent Boult.

Monga: Strike rate of 38 but couldn't play enough to get more than his 87 wickets.

Samiuddin: Adam Milne, Matt Henry - all their actions. Naseem Shah.

Fernando: And if we agree that aughts Australia had assembled the greatest ODI batting line up, Bond was the greatest destroyer of that top order. Seventeen matches v Aus: average of 15.79, SR of 21.4, economy rate 4.41 - there's no touching that in ODIs

Samiuddin: Bond, in a very different way, is the epitome of what Monga said earlier, about how it's just meant to be for some. No off-field issues (that I can think of), great guy to have in a team. But just had a body that couldn't sustain it.

Monga: In a way I agree, but you can continue working on the body, you can even come back as a bowler with less pace but more wiles, you can still cut yourself a career, but it is different with mental health.

Fernando: Bond just was incredibly, incredibly fragile, though. I'm not sure even turning himself into a medium-pacer - which he has said he was never interested in, btw - would have worked. There were unusual things as well: I remember he once went off the field in a match with a migraine and couldn't bowl, and caught absolute hell on talkback radio in New Zealand for being soft.

Samiuddin: Incidentally, Bond talked about the injuries stemming - ironically - from that action, in this great piece on him by Rahul Bhattacharya, at the 2007 World Cup. He talks here about losing a little of that pace.

Fernando: His last Test, which was a fantastic game against Pakistan in Dunedin, he blew them away with pace in the first innings, iirc.

Monga: It was a great Test. Akmal was unleashed in this game, right?

Fernando: Yes, Asif took 4 for 43 as well. Pity Ryder didn't play. It would have been the poster Test for everything we've talked about.

Monga: Ryder was a veteran of wistfulness by then.

Fernando: Fawad Alam was in that Test as well! Here's the wicket description from the first dig: "Bond's breathing fire here, he hits the deck hard from over the wicket, lands it short of a length on middle and Fawad barely had time to react and fend it off, he fails to drop his gloves down and the ball shaves his glove before landing safely in McCullum's hands."

Underrated, but celebrated: would Ryan Harris have had a greater impact had big names not kept him out of the Australian team early in his career? Getty Images

Monga: While sticking with fast bowlers, I have a name that I am not sure you will agree with. It is more down to having been kept out by big names throughout his 20s, but what we saw of Ryan Harris in 27 Tests in his 30s (also cut short by a back surgery, which he went to after taking a last wicket in the dying moments of a momentous Test) makes me wonder with a little disappointment what a great bowler we lost out on.

Samiuddin: Absolutely, only four more Tests than Asif.

Monga: And what an Asif-like bowler too.

Samiuddin: But I also feel with Harris that Australia celebrated him so much, that he was part of so many big moments against South Africa and England - big series - that he kind of lived a full career… which, of course, he never did in reality

Fernando: And I guess that the injuries came at an age when you expect those things to happen to a quick. Whereas Asif's exit seemed so premature.

Monga: His wrist admittedly did less magic than Asif, but his accuracy was stifling. He lived by the Asif philosophy: if I beat the bat, I should be hitting the pad or the stumps; if I take the edge, it should go to keeper or first slip

Samiuddin: Except, quicker than Asif. Always felt Stuart Clark was the more like-for-like Asif bowler

Monga: We love Asif for the highlights reels his wickets make it to, but arguably Harris has provided us with better seam porn. Have a look at this. This also reminds me, I recently saw Harris seam a ball in the IPL. That I would never have believed had there been no video evidence.

Samiuddin: Asif seamed some balls in the IPL too - 2008.

Fernando: What a trip it is now to think that Pakistan players actually took part in the IPL.

Monga: The greatest loss to cricket: Pakistan players missing the IPL.

Samiuddin: Snap.

Fernando: Genuinely, though, they would have changed the dynamic of that tournament so much. And you suspect the IPL would have changed Pakistan cricket as well.

Samiuddin: But the PSL may not have happened also... Or maybe it would have happened earlier.

Fernando: Umar Gul would have cut it up.

Samiuddin: And Sohail Tanvir as the greatest T20 bowler ever?

Chris Lewis: the blueprint for Jofra Archer? Getty Images

Fernando: Lasith Malinga would still have crushed it, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Samiuddin: I know I'm being old and boomer-y but Malinga in Tests, I feel, is an unfulfilled thing.

Monga: Malinga would have made a bowler of great spells in Test cricket. Innocuous for long whiles, but then a switch would flick on and he would run through three-four guys in one three-over spell on a humid day at the SSC.

Samiuddin: Yes and that three-over spell would have turned the day, the Test, even the series.

Fernando: If you can hustle a fantastic batsman with a bouncer in Galle, you're a decent bowler. But then with Malinga, it's kind of a double-edged sword. You don't have Malinga if you don't have that action. And you probably can't have that action and a long Test career. What makes him is what breaks him. Unlike, say Bond, who could conceivably have had a long career with a better body.

Samiuddin: Before starting this I had made a list of all the players that would feature here: Shaun Tait, Vinod Kambli, Mohammad Zahid, Asif, Ryder, Wasim Raja, all of South Africa before return, Chris Lewis…

Chris Lewis, man. I watch Jofra and I get strong Lewis vibes. Not in terms of the pace or anything, but in how easily he did things, without showing any signs of the strain and toll it takes on a body. Though who knows how quick Lewis was - no speed guns in his time and he was never celebrated for his pace. But he could bat a bit, great in the field, loose and easy action.

Monga: Did we get enough of Steve Harmison?

Samiuddin: Yes. Harmison played 63 Tests.

Fernando: But I think we've mostly exhausted this chat now. We're dipping into the '90s, and now discussing players who actually had decently long careers. We'll be talking about Kevin Pietersen next. I've just sat in on too many conversations in England about what a loss KP was. And he played 104 Tests.

Samiuddin: In England if you don't play 150 Tests, you ain't nothing.

Monga: And now the rhinos have him. Poor rhinos. Though I think he is actually doing something for them.

Fernando: He's probably trash-talking them behind their backs. Anyway, I think this conversation has degenerated. Like the actions of so many fast bowlers gone before their time.

Osman: Yeah, I think we're done.

Fernando: Let's call it. I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to put on some Asif highlights reels, eat huge quantities of ice cream straight from the tub, and cry myself to sleep.

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