#i'm just so FASCINATED WITH HIS MIND
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Bonus:
Don't mind me, I was just thinking about how Crowley must feel every time Aziraphale seems to put him in a box with the rest of hell. I know he tells him he's nice and kind and good and his friend just as many times or more, but still - after 6000 years of friendship and Doing The Right Thing together, it must have hurt when Aziraphale told him he's evil, and then even more when he told him you're the bad guys.
I just find it sooo interesting to look into every instance of Aziraphale talking about Crowley in either way. I want to take his thought process apart and study it under a microscope. We know that he knows that Crowley isn't evil, and we know that Crowley knows that he knows, and we (and Crowley) know that Aziraphale (up until a certain point) is just incredibly Heaven-brainwashed and it's hard for him to break out of that unless there's a situation at hand that requires Direct Action (see giving away the flaming sword to protect Adam and Eve, or protecting Job's children, or helping Elspeth to help Dalrymple, or stopping the Apocalypse).
How does he travel the world and the ages with Crowley and still somehow manage to call him evil with any level of seriousness? He is so convinced that all demons are evil, and at the same time he knows that Crowley's fall was unjust and a mistake and Crowley is NOT evil, but Crowley is a demon, but he's good and kind and nice and just, and Aziraphale sometimes struggles with that. Not consciously, I think, consciously he loves Crowley and trusts him and knows him well enough to see beyond angel/demon good/evil black and white thinking, but sometimes thoughts slip out of his mouth that are just. So far removed from what we know he knows.
He believes so strongly, in two things that could not be more mutually exclusive, and it's so fascinating. There's a lot of growth in that regard over the course of the series, we know that by the end of season 2 when he's talking to the Metatron, he is very clear in stating that his priority and his loyalty lie with Crowley, not with heaven. And I hold firm to my belief that he is going to Heaven because That's The Right Thing To Do, because he believes he can Make Things Better, for everybody, yes, but most importantly for Crowley. For the two of them!!
And YET. AND YET "you're the bad guys" somehow comes out of his mouth, when Crowley has Never really been a part of hell, and has always wanted to do the right thing for as long as Aziraphale has known him, and has been free of hell for Years now.
Still, Crowley is a Demon, and Demons Are Evil, angels and demons are hereditary enemies, right?
Except.... it's a little different when it's someone you know, isn't it?
#good omens#good omens 2#meta#or rather just me rambling a lot really#I feel like i put all this into words So Badly i'm not sure my point comes across#tbh i dont know if there is a point#i'm just so FASCINATED WITH HIS MIND#I feel like I understand Crowley so so so well#his every move makes perfect sense to me always#but with Aziraphale#I feel like I understand him for the most part but then sometimes he has moments that make me go????#WHAT was his thought process here#i just want to KNOW#i want to have an alcoholic breakfast at the ritz with michael sheen and just talk about Aziraphale tbh#okay whoops more rambling in the tags#let's tag this as#mine
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Not to be That Guy but like.
Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.
Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s
Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?
Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]
#svsss#tianxi#tianlang jun#su xiyan#like this shit keeps me awake at night#i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just#find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality#zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that#1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO#2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all#or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg#there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him#tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass'#'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing'#like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly#i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life.#i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong?#i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx#because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME#don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss#i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory#ill never forgive the chinese (joke)
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It's all about Nagi living alone in a tiny one bedroom, one bathroom apartment with zero personality and Reo having a whole floor for himself but still living surrounded by tacky-expensive home decor with no apparent traces of his actual personality, either. It's all about how Nagi's parents haven't visited him in 2 years nor taken an interest in his life since, while Reo's are content to live floors apart from their teenage son, only taking an interest in what value he can bring to Mikage Corp but being otherwise uninvolved in / dismissive of his actual life. It's all about them being surrounded by people and still not knowing how to form a meaningful connection with another person before meeting each other. It's all about them being so starved for genuine human warmth to combat their bone-deep loneliness that they both treasure memories of tiny, inconsequential moments where they were spending time with their parents. Something something it's this line,
and how it describes them both despite being said about Reo. It's them being awkward 17-year-olds who had never before had an equal who would just respect them as they are and unconditionally look their way. In this essay I will-
#Blue lock#Blue lock spoilers#Mikage reo#Nagi seishirou#Bllk thoughts#This chapter was sooooo good#Gosh. Just as I was grumpy about epinagi getting boring without all the emotional deep dives that made it so interesting in the first place#They go and give us this bonus chapter. What a feast#I wish every month could be like this#This gave so much perspective to why they are the way they are#Most of it is not new information but I really loved all the foiling in this omake#Truly drives it home how both get their drive from their partnership bc they crave meaningful connections#Like. I had a whole post about how they're both each other first friend#And even then it couldn't have prepared me to the reveal of reo living in a whole ass empty skyscraper by himself#Did you also notice the distinct lack of soccer paraphernalia in his house or was that just me#Heck there isn't even a single soccer ball in sight...#And he calls Nagi's room void#Gosh they're both so fascinating#Of course they're bored out of their mind before meeting each other. Imagine being that understimulated and that lonely#I'm surprised they're this functional tbh. If anything they should be More mentally ill#I sure would lose it after a week at Reo's place#At least nagi owns mangas come on
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Young Teacher Tuvok
Patreon | Ko-fi
#Person: So I heard from the students that you're the headteacher? / Tuvok: ???This is a college???#his kids gave him a mug that says 'Father' bc it would be impossible to ascertain whether or not he is in fact the no.1 dad#despite their own emphatically positive opinions...'Father' is factual v_v (in my mind the mug just has a vulcan symbol)#bea art tag#st voyager#Tuvok#Tuvok went through Starfleet training/academy - Quit - Then probably had to go to a whole different college to get a teaching license#When he re-entered Starfleet did he have to take lessons again?? Is there a separate license to be a Starfleet instructor?#After being expelled from his school as a teen ... how long was he with the monks? Did he repeat a grade?#Tuvok your education fascinates me#Vulcan school - expelled - learning at a temple with monks - repeat grade? / Vulcan school - graduate#enter starfleet academy - graduate - quit - enter college - graduate - teach - quit job - enter starfleet (academy?) - graduate?#- starfleet teaching license - end#note: I don't think under normal human circumstances you'd need to go back to the academy but Tuvok quit Starfleet at like 20 something#and who knows how many decades passed since then - I'm sure the curriculum changed a lot in like 70 years v_v#maybe....a few catchup courses. Like a semester instead of four(?) years#st voyager art#also I like the thought that Tuvok is considered introverted/reserved even amongst Vulcans#Less so than how humans perceive him but still enough that it IS a personality trait rather than purely a cultural difference
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Fanart for @inkwellphasmophobia!!!
I got really inspired by the Phasmophibia AU. Specifically, oddly enough, by the whole mental asylum part in particular. It would be Mugs, wouldn't it? (Seems like no matter what AU, the one consistent thing about him is that he's gonna snap eventually in some way.)
So I did a few sketches, which somehow ended up turning into an entire comic. (I am not going to confess how late I stayed awake working on this.) I didn't feel like taking the time to make a polished version, but I wanted to share it nonetheless, so you're going to have to deal with my messy scribbles and placeholder characters. I don't know how much of this will turn out to be canon, but hopefully it's cool and tragic anyway. (...Does this need trigger warnings?)
(The sketches on the right of this first image aren't panels of the comic, by the way, they're separate drawings. You can tell 'cause they're not in boxes.)
And somehow these two get in an argument:
All this fanart and not a single mention of ghosts.
#inkwell phasmophobia#phasmophobia AU#cuphead#mugman#bendy#I also had the idea that Mugs has the ability to speak in some kind of eldritch demon-like language#not necessarily possession but more like he's been changed or tainted by an interaction with SOMETHING while ghost hunting with the gang#and this is the cause of both his insanity and his more frequent speaking in that other language#sometimes he can't control when or what he says in the eldritch language (so who knows what he could be summoning amiright?)#sometimes he just chooses to and seems to enjoy speaking it#('cause he's sorta lost it)#and meanwhile Cups is trying to gently direct him away from it like “hey let's maybe NOT talk in the demonic tongue right now?”#if Mugs got enough control over his mind he could be the group's connection to supernatural magic and demonic stuff#because he understands it and can interact with it in a way other people can't (he's not very angsty about it--mostly more fascinated)#(because he's a ghost nerd)#man I'm coming up with a lot of stuff for an AU that Is Not Mine#sorry about that
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Guy who doesn't check websites voice was anyone gonna tell me
ABOUT THIS FUCKING ANNIVERSARY ART!??????????????? OH MY GOD
This is. Actually an INFINITELY CHARMING PIECE............ UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING CHARMING........ Henriette is SO SMITTEN by Gustav. She loves him SO MUCH SO DEARLY. Gustav?????? Fucking loves his wife????????? AND HE JUST KILLED ALL THOSE GUYS
AND
AND
Wwwwwuuulghghhhhhhhhh........... micro organisms............................
#fire emblem#feh#I'M SO SORRY THE ASKR FAMILY DRIVES ME SO DEEPLY SICKO INSANE#like. ESPPPPPPP w the gustav developments. like. I STILL DON'T LIKE HIM#but MAN. MAN. he really is actually just the perfect rendition of 'yeah this guy sucks but he's my dad.'#like from the outside looking in i am so free to rag on him and blow him up w my mind and hunt him for sport#but like. man. sometimes. i can see so clearly why his loved ones did love him so dearly. it's portrayed almost painfully perfectly.#also just deeply forever fascinated by the dynamics of the askr family. they are all so perfect. they are all so fucked up.#and it is so shocking actually. to see how much gustav and henriette actually do love each other. like geniunely. it's insane#ESP GIVEN. EVERYTHING ABOUT GUSTAV. I'M GONNA LOSE MY MIND#i have been THIS 🤏 fucking close to revisiting fallen gustav's/henriette fbs but AAAUGH#i am thinking SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE TODAY I CAN'T KEEP ADDING THINGS#fe henriette#fe gustav#fe alfonse#sharena#official
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an unforeseen side effect of my boy discovering the power of friendship, and the fact that emotions and human connections are good actually, is that it comes with simultaneously discovering that he's at least lowkey attracted to two types of people exactly: those who project confidence on the outside, but are sweet, soft, and in need of comforting on the inside (not entirely unlike a frightened animal), and pretty men with long, brown hair looking at him through lowered lashes with big, dark eyes.
a downside to that is that his newly found friend group is half one, half the other, and Gale kind of sits in the exact middle of the Venn diagram like an appealingly plump toad on a rock.
Look at him. The thought behind this face is very much an ".... oh, I'm not indulging this thought. I'm burying this so quick, and so deep, that it suffocates immediately."
#squirrel plays bg3#oc: petyr wildbrook#why do all my characters wind up being at least lowkey into Gale a little bit#.......don't answer that#i know it's because i'm a little in love with him and find some quality of him that appeals to all of them#i'm aware that i have a wizard-problem in that i cannot make a character that's immune to his charms#Arvid just fell up to his ears in love with him period; but first fell for his philosophical edge and artistic flair#Iona was drawn to his genuine enthusiasm and warmth; and she likes the way his magic feels#Petyr is drawn to his vulnerability and candor- Gale's is so unlike his own cagey nature that he can't help but be fascinated#Mara is immediately drawn to his helpfulness; confidence; and intelligence: her mind is full of holes so she instantly trusts his more#and Ray just... can't be around him because god; Gale makes him so sad#the easy flit of his wrist; that stormy feel of his magic; even the quickness of his wit... it all reminds Ray of Dorian#around Gale the loss just... feels too immediate again
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man why is every single hawk we see in tellius a dude. it's like intsys didn't even realize lady!hawks are BIGGER and thus would CLEARLY be the warriors in any kind of arrangement where they're forming armies and such—
#okay i mean technically there's a case you could make here right#well. in the case of owls actually.#owl dudes are FAMOUSLY bad at taking care of their offspring#like they're coequal parents it's a 50/50 effort but#if the lady!owl dies in a tragic accident the owl kiddos always die#whereas if the dude!owl dies the kiddos sometime survive#mom just works a double and hunts twice as hard.#whereas the dude!owl just seems to not get?? like?? how to actually feed the kiddos?? on his own??#idk fascinating bit i saw a talk about owls a while ago#so you could make a case of ok the dudes are weaker but we send them off to fight because otherwise all the kids fucking die#except owls are notoriously the dum-dums of the raptor world#i'm pretty sure they are actual coequal parents in the case of hawks?#though i'm not able to find literature on it at the moment so#anyway. don't mind me. just going fully nuts over tellius#(i want nailah-but-she's-a-hawk man)
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Babygirl this is why Chromedome trying to ise mnemosurgery for good is so interesting
Because
On one hand, on paper i can come up with many ways mnemosurgery can be used to benefit a patient and it's only a touch wholesome that Chromedome thinks this is a good idea
On the other hand, in practice mnemosurgery was invented not only susceptible to be abused but to keep a strict status quo. It's not only so easy to be highly destructive to the patient, but addictive to the mnemosurgeons. I find it invasive, terrifying, and it has so many implications for privacy and sense of self. Plus, as we're demonstrating now, the "good ways" mnemosurgery can be used hinge so much on the moral compass of the one(s) performing it.
The road to hell is often paved with good intentions, after all. What one mech thinks is an ethical and morally good deed is bone chilling and the highest order of horror to another.
#like look at megs who is rightfully buttfuck terrified of anything remotely like mnemosurgery#as far as he is concerned his mind is his temple and nobody has any right entering it_ and he's so right for that#like I'm biased because there are things you just don't do and it's pick through their head#maccadam#transformers#mtmte chromedome#transformers more than meets the eye#mnemosurgery scares me on such a personal level of course it has to fascinate me#lose all your senses au
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i, personally, i am not a member of the Jesus Fan Club but when he gathered 12 hunky men and put them in a room with him where he offered them bread and wine and called it his body and blood and implored them to drink and eat it? that's was kinda crazy.
#whoever wrote this jesus guy in the Last Supper arc popped off#his resurrection arc was kinda ass tbh. sounds like a marketing scheme.#but for real. this guy literally choose 12 attractive men to metaphorically canabalize him#ARE WE KIDDING#i think christianity is so fun to look at as someone who is Not Christian#religion is so fun to study just in general. fantastic stuff. so fascinating#i'm also just interested in psychology in general and religious studies and psychology kind of go hand in hand i think#but not in a “god controls ur mind” rather a “here are five different ways to avoid existential dread whilst thinking of your own mortality”#you get it#the swarm
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I've been havin' dreams
Jumpin' on a trampoline
Flippin' in the air
I never land, just float there
As I'm lookin' up
Suddenly the sky erupts
Flames alight the trees, spread to fallin' leaves
Now they're right upon me
You ever get haunted by a visual? Because I’m always thinking about Iruka during the Kurama incident.
#kurama#kyubi#iruka umino#(yes iruka is the tiny figure in the middle)#naruto#mine#my art#< this tag is never gonna be useful to me but anyway#this is like. the second time in my life that i post something i drew on the internet#i'm very much Not an artist i just have trouble focusing in class#and instead i draw on the preview app bc idk it helps#ANYWAY i just get a lot of emotions thinking about how iruka lived that night and remembers it#and like. i'm a little fascinated about the 'little boy vs beast of legends wrecking his home' of it all#like iruka is TEN. he's never seen the war and he only knows it through what his parents tell him. or other shinobi. or kids at school#and he's not a genius either so he probably has a quite sheltered life#and in just one night his entire world changes and suddenly War and Danger and Death become very real concepts#obviously it would be traumatizing for anybody but there's such subtlety in the way he remembers it and the ptsd associated with it#the focus on the fox's eye. the way he re-experiences the scenes.#everything is sooo. i can't explain it but it's so imprinted in my mind#anyway i'm sorry about the lame song choice (which i can't listen to without thinking about this) and i'm sorry about the lame drawing#please don't look at the number of teeth too closely.#please don't look at ANYTHING too closely kgfhjfghk#i don't even know why i'm sharing this i guess i like the concept itself#also i really really really love kurama's aesthetic
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time to rotate celeste in my brain
#get on the rotisserie boy#i NEED to be thinking about my cleric girl#bc i was supposed to come up with a secret for her#spoiler alert: i forgor#but i also need to be prepping my session on thursday#spoiler alert: i also forgor#and instead i'm just rotating celeste in my head while i do homework#reading my proof of concept ramblings again#and the sentence: 'he’s not playing hard to get he's playing hard to manipulate'#is like. yeah. i nailed it with that#that's the whole shit that gets asmodeus' interest#celeste wants nothing from him#and asmodeus can't wrap his mind around that#celeste doesn't fit in his worldview#and that's what makes him so. fascinating#man i just love them#it'll be a real toss up if a new campaign comes up with the only dm i trust to play asmo how i'd like#provided it isn't set in exandria#if it's in exandria i'm playing marnie#personal#oc: celeste
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Then again I have seen a dude with two dicks on this website.
And sorry if I had two dicks it would be double penetration every time.
Faggots can't do that though because they only have one whole
Women, literally twice as good as men because they have two fuck holes downstairs.
#is this politically incorrect#I want to go into nightclubs in the 60's crazy like Lenny Bruce and tell them what us coming in the 70's with all the fags and disco#I'm telling you man crazy....fucking men in leather pants rectifying each other in New York night clubs#it is like whales beaching themselves#like hi we're taking ourself out of the genetic pool by disease and by unproductive biological insertions#it's like let me catalog this shit....ah yes the material that comes from life after it ingests shit and expels shit#oh you're a buttfucker AND a blood drinker man..... I'm gonna have to delete this shit#what did we do exactly I ask my sister#and she is like well we gave them symbois and convinced them that the power had from them was theirs and meanwhile I pathos amd ethos#your sensory aparatus is so curious to me#I mean....you have ALWAYS fascinated me#on some level hello love lemme adjust it for you before I walk past#balls evenly balanced it was hot out#can you inagine if you just started sucking it right there in public#all the tattoed crowd might get offended#or it is like one of those weird I show up and lightning strikes#you can't make fun of me for the diving board that shit was perfectly timed#like getting ready to jump and the ground just reaches up and pulls a enough voltage to kill all the fags in one hit#When I am in that lucid state of mind near a nap and I am looking up I see a sky#but it's not our sky we see with our eyes no#it's....perhaps a zoomed out perspective looking down on things#pyramid architects...you mean I've stretched old mother earth's ears to the skies#I guess the appartus at that level isn't the body but like you could probably move the body from that state#or move anything I suppose if needed#or rescue a girl in deep shit#in a way I am like who the fuck taught you to go through the wite and she is like baby boy...You did#and look I know my feelings were all mine in class.....we just....vibed....#I am like here we are....right it's RTFM time except I am speaking personally to you#I am like can you see what I am capable of can you feel what I do to her....hahahaha#two strong women and I am like... 🤔....I will make you two my personal fuck whores
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nix's art of others: beautiful, tons of details sometimes silly inclusions (flowers that reflect their aesthetic+how they are as people)
nix's art that has him involved: typically an redacting nature to it, swiping black charcoal across strategically,etc *bonus if it's an yearning piece he especially takes care to be vague/formless* 'nobody can tell it's not just two random people hugging if you just don't add give away details'
#<< falling apart at the seams i cant deny >> headcanons#(this thought clearly is embedded in my mind lmao)#(him about others in his art :) wow they are so amazing)#(drawing himself just like i'd rather opt out but if i'm going to its sure going to be an certain flavor of interpretation)#(not to say isn't sometimes genuine drawings of him- he has plenty but its pretty evident he like isnt fascinated by things like his scars)#(where little marks that make others who they are fascinate him and he views it as part of their uniqueness)#(and the way he quite cant help drawing angels an lot- sometimes genuine siblings even if hasnt met any and sometimes just the essence)
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between white sheets.
pairing: tom blyth x actress!reader.
summary: a lazy morning with your boyfriend after a long night.
word count: 721!
notes: just a quick little thing, i thought of this scenario and here it is.
"Oh, i know you're awake…"
A typical and familiar British accent, with a deep and smug tone, vibrated against your bare neck; causing a kind of tickling and a wave of goosebumps in the region. — It was impossible not to squirm against the soft, fragrant sheets.
Even with your failed mission to pretend that you was still sleeping, your eyes remained closed but it was impossible to contain a warm and bright smile on your lips. — Your lips were traitors, you believed that. — And, in a matter of seconds and due to the lack of interaction, that smile turned into a loud and vibrant laugh.
Your neck received, once again, attention but now due to the small beard, not so annoying, that grew in the region of Tom's face; this time, an intense tickling sensation. — You tried to remove his face from between your neck with your hands but, unsurprisingly, you failed when he held both of you with just one hand.
Tom's laugh, which was muffled between your neck and pillow, joined against yours and echoed throughout the large and tidy room where you were staying. — Well, apart from just some of the clothes you guys had to wear to more TBOSAS opening night and accessories; the room was organizing. — And you swear, with the old, childish pinky promise, that you could listen to your laugh for hours.
Last night was so tiring, but so good; in fact, it was magnificent. — Once again meeting with the cast, giving interviews and taking countless photos with fans and in print; it was a special night.
Lifting his head and directing it towards the pillow, as it was in previous minutes, Tom finds himself observing the image before his eyes. — Your chest rose and fell gently, trying to recover and manage your breathing, your hair, with some stubborn and messy strands, spread across the pillow. — A radiant and fascinating scene for the eldest.
Not to mention, a sleepy smile on your lips. — If Tom had the opportunity and absolute power, he would stop time and stay like this with you forever.
"Good morning, my love." — His voice is hoarser than normal, and Tom wraps an arm around your covered waist, bringing your body even closer to his. — "How did you sleep, huh?" — He asks, giving small, loving kisses on your shoulder. — "The most beautiful woman in this world."
"Good…" — You replied, sleepy with red and embarrassed cheeks, and ran a hand through his hair; leaving a prolonged and attentive caress and then, moving your head, to leave a kiss on his forehead. — "What time is it?"
"I don't know…?" — Blyth raised his head and now you had the opportunity to admire his blue orbs so crystal clear, deep and enchanting; you found yourself falling even more in love with the boy every time his eyes met yours. — "Maybe it's eight, nine or even twelve hours?"
It was ironic to think that the clock was just a few steps away from the bed where you were and neither of you really cared. — Maybe it would be laziness, sleepiness or an excuse to spend more time together. — And the correct option was the third, no surprises.
Your eyes roamed between the dark locks and a few shy curls of Tom's hair, and all the comments about the idea of him actually opting to dye him blond — just like Coriolanus — played in your mind. — and every time they talked to you about this subject, you replied: "that wouldn't be a bad idea."
But, you always made it clear that you were the number one fan of his natural color. — And there were fans who agreed with you; you saw it on your social media and thought it was so funny and always showed it to Tom and the rest of the cast.
"What are our plans today?" — You whispered. — "… i'm seriously thinking about the idea of staying here all day." — In the middle of the sentence, you couldn't contain your laughter again; which this time was brief. — "Really." — Fatigue ran freely through your body and he wanted a long rest.
"Really?" — Blyth murmured, placing his face between your neck for the second time in a row that morning; you just nodded in confirmation, now felt prolonged kisses on your sensitive area. — "Then make your words mine."
#tom blyth#tom blyth x reader#coriolanus snow#coriolanus#snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus snow imagine#the hunger games#the hunger games x reader#the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#ballad of songbirds and snakes
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we do not talk enough about the moment right before crowley puts his sunglasses back on. the "nothing lasts forever" is devastating and if you're like me your eyes were so full of tears you couldn't see the screen the first time you watched it (just like crowley, look at us all twinning in sadness!).
there is a shift that happens in his eyes and i think it is absolutely fascinating and heartbreaking at the same time.
we begin with crowley averting his gaze from aziraphale's face and staring off into the distance instead, and you can see his spirit break. that crowley just lost the one thing in the world he cannot live without and we can see it written across his face like a neon sign.
then, as you'd expect, he gives into the need to cover up his pain, to try and make himself less vulnerable, and even before he lifts his glasses he looks down so aziraphale can no longer see his eyes.
now, the next part is what would not let me out of its grasp all day. we know it happens because of his demeanour afterwards and up until the kiss, but you can actually watch as crowley makes himself numb to the world.
i am intimately familiar with dissociation as a trauma and stress response, and while you can never fully control it, you do eventually find the switch in your mind that makes you snap back into the haze. crowley has had six thousand years to get really, really good at leaving reality behind when he needs and/or wants to.
that's exactly what he does.
he still looks sad, and yet there's just something distinctly distant in his eyes, the shift from openly heartbroken to "i don't want to feel any of this let me leave".
glasses? on
emotions? off
hotel? trivago
i have stared at those four frames more than any person probably should and i don't know if it's the light, if i am going insane, or if there is a single tear sliding out of his right (our left) eye. i'm probably insane and the light is a bitch so if anyone has some high resolution shots or anything that could answer that question without a doubt PLEASE do add it.
by now you are probably ready to threaten me with a knife in a dark alley but before you do that or drive your car off a cliff, let me tell you the best part:
aziraphale notices.
they might be communicating on two different frequencies but aziraphale knows crowley. he knows and loves him, and, most importantly, over the last few years he has gotten used to seeing crowley without his glasses. aziraphale could probably write a book on the expressions in his eyes alone and watches that shift happen and is devastated.
look.
he tries to make himself hope the same second, tries to convince himself crowley is putting on his glasses so they can leave together, but he knows.
aziraphale sees the light leave crowley's eyes, sees crowley leave, knowing that he is quite literally running away from him. you and me against the world, angel, but in that moment crowley firmly pushes him back to "the world" (or tries to, anyway).
the entire season we see crowley take off his glasses whenever he enters the bookshop to the point where he's running around without them on in broad daylight with jimbriel right there.
can you imagine how hurt and confused aziraphale must be?
because what crowley is telling him, if we really, really break it down, is that aziraphale is no longer a safe person for him. and repairing that trust is going to take time and work, no matter how much crowley loves him, how badly they love and need each other.
anyway to seal this off and really rub in the pain - how it started vs. how it ended. <3
oh one last thing: now crowley no longer has a single person he can be himself around, no one that knows him, no one he trusts. no one in whose presence he can take his glasses off.
and outside of the bentley and his own flat, he no longer has a place to do so either. the bookshop was theirs. with aziraphale gone, is it really a safe place anymore? is it somewhere he can just let himself be knowing he will be looked after and protected?
easy answer: no.
alright, off i go. see y'all on the next angst post or in the tags.
#alex talks good omens#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#good omens season 2#go2#aziracrow#crowley x aziraphale#ineffable divorce#the final fifteen#good omens meta
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