#i'm crying i hate this so much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

artofalassa · 1 month

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Nothing Beats Pizza On A Cliff

Right? And some things are said...

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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this story

#tears at my heart oh my goddd i love stories like this so much #'as i try to remember distant nostalgic sounds become audible in my head'#oh. 'you promised we'd be together forever. i can't believe i trusted you'#'i hate you' 'i don't care anymore' 'terrified of losing another person so dear to him' T_T #a third wheel huh #'but the fact that i was being left out of their world got to be so sad painful and lonely'#i'm crying i hate this so much #i can't even say or write anything anymore. this hurts so much #but... this is the exact dynamic and trope i love so much. the same as the one i wrote two years ago... 'starlit sky'#'please don't leave me. or abandon me'#'miku's heart skips a beat at the sight of a familiar figure'#'even though it's no different from the usual invitation miku finds herself pausing for a moment' and then she smiles huh...#pretends she's alright. i guess it hurts because i #nah. i just really appreciate the writing here #the subtleties and the way they describe these moments and feelings... sigh #wait no. i just wiped away my tears i think i'm gna cry again #fuck this 'when you only look down into yourself you can miss out on some things that you'll wish you hadn't'#'sometimes you need to bring those eyes up and look forward look around. sometimes the answer was right there all along'#i hate this. i fucking hate this #that smile huh. the way they wrote miku's thoughts here are so painful #she's crying too huh.#'the moment she realizes she is crying a complex emotion that isn't quite sadness pain or joy throbs within her heart'#... 'i'm fine. just stay here.' / 'please. just stay here. don't leave me alone. stay with me... even if just for a while.'#this writing hurts so much. 'a litany of stars light up the night sky as the sun sets on the horizon.'#UGHHH I HATE MISUNDERSTANDINGS LIKE THIS. oh. oh i can predict what's gna happen

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bernard-the-rabbit · 1 year

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Bumi II with his fav uncle Sokka

[ID found by clicking alt on the piece]

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jerswayman · 1 month

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freddy apologising to the fan who got his jersey instead of sway's, ft. the fan sweetly reassuring him that he's v.happy! alternatively titled: me about to throw so much love and affection at him that he will never doubt it ever again

#no but seriously i WILL cry #trent frederic #boston bruins #bruins #j made a thing #there's not much i hate more when gifing than having to mix my own subtitles with behind the b's #bc they make them so damn big and ugly #like friends i am NOT going into my text settings to change it from my usual ones i'm sorry it's just not happening #gifset series: trent frederic propaganda #gifset series: hockey moments that make me insane

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2aceofspades · 8 months

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Close

Apart

Previous | Next

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #f!leo #future leo #rise cassandra #bad future rottmnt #wrong fabricated time branch #i'm having a ~great~ time just ~ugly crying~ while i'm trying to draw shapes on a page #i hate these two so much/aff #also! if you get the reference/parallel you're a real one #:)

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thekittyokat · 22 days

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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again #the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys #saw #well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand #know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows #your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn #thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down #something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness #the transformation of a man into a monster #and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption #sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this #do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore #it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating #fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn #i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him #until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else #well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God #where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium #anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus #maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man #i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed #if only he hadn't been weaponized first #god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already #but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there #rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts #ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly #cat chat

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hualianschild · 3 months

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to think that everyone rejected him treated him harshly yet xie lian was the one to hold him gently and said it's not his fault (yeah let me go cry in the corner again)

#my hong'er deserves all the love in this world #and those who hate him will burn in the hell fire for eternity #the thing abt rereading is that I'm already attached to the characters so it doesn't take much for me to cry #sigh i love my hualian so much #tami rereads tgcf #heaven official's blessing #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #mxtx #tgcf novel #hua cheng #san lang #xie lian #hualian #hong er #fafa #heaven officials blessing #hob

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apricusapollo · 6 months

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"and you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever" but it's luke to han

#in this household we support the idea of han being luke's gay awakening / first crush / first love that he never managed to let go of #UGH I HATE THEM SO MUCH I'M GONNA THROW UPPP #crys' star wars hours #star wars #luke skywalker #han solo #hanluke #skysolo

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dollypopup · 10 days

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"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"

I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.

Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.

I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.

And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.

Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.

Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.

Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.

And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.

And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?

Absolutely no one.

Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.

And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.

I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.

Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.

Because he saw her when she was invisible.

Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?

Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.

He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And he does.

#polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #bridgerton #sorry y'all i just have a lot of feelings and i need to get them out like they invented love what am i meant to do witH THAT INFORMATION!?#they just care about each other so much and so deeply #and they see the best in each other #penelope was hurt but she never HATED him #penelope was hurt and when she said 'i never thought you of all people could be so cruel' she also knew. . .he isn't #he isn't cruel #he's a young man trying his best in the world and he wanted to fit in and that made him say something hurtful about her #but he has a history of uplifting her #and he continues to do so #not one bad word about penelope all this season #'you are penelope featherington. . .never forget that' (you deserve the world) (you are amazing)#colin bridgerton said 'i love you' over and over this season and in the seasons before but we didn't hear it because we thought #it was only professed in one language #'you really are very good you know that?' 'you only wanted to keep me from heartache' 'what could possibly measure up to all that?'#'that you would never forsake me' 'you are pen. . .you are my friend. . .you do not count' (i could never give you up)#'i will always look after you penelope'#they are friends to lovers but there is love in that friendship #a deep beautiful love they have with each other #and sorry i'm ugly crying but i just adore them

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harmonysanreads · 2 months

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Aventurine? More like ANGSTTURINE.

#thy brain is mush #on the verge of a breakdown #wtf was that ending #what on earth is even going on here?????????#i knew it was going to happen to aventurine but 😭😭😭#was i prepared? kind of #did i still feel like my heart was being torn apart? yes #did i hated it so much but couldn't complain because this is written so well?? of course #does it still hurt? hahahahahahaha #seriously... i'm going to make sunday suffer don't ask #shaoji cooked so hard he cooked us all in the process #how do i even recover from this #if any of y'all want to cry with me plz #harmony suffers #hsr spoilers #hsr #harmonysan.txt

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uncanny-tranny · 10 months

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I think it can be true that certain lifestyle changes can help with pain and disability, but people really overplay how those changes will affect people's lives.

I've found that exercise has helped my back pain - I have had chronic back pain that PT didn't touch, but exercise has helped. However, what hasn't changed is what exasperates that pain, and when my pain is especially exasperated, it doesn't matter how much I exercise, I'll be in my bed trying so hard to get out, and I'll be seeing white. So, yes, exercise helped me, but it did not save me. That's an example of what I mean.

It's fine to give (solicited!!) advice to people about how to manage things like this. But I'm begging people to be realistic about this. Lifestyle changes can only do so much, and disabilities are - surprise! - disabling.

#disability #i just hate how people turn lifestyle advice into (again) thought-terminating clichés #because i DO all the things i'm ~supposed~ to do and it didn't save me...#...that tells me that it isn't this magical cure people think their advice is #i used my back pain as an example ofc and i'm not saying i have it bad or worse than anybody else #but my pain used to be so much worse and i'm glad it's gotten to the point...#...where i only experience bad days only so often where before it was multiple times per week...#...like as a kid my back pain would keep me up and almost make me cry and PT didn't help me whatsoever #i'm probably about the most active i've been in my life so far and i still have pain because i have a historical precdence for it #this is why i never will judge people for choosing not to make the '~proper~' lifestyle changes that ~help~ with their disability/ies #it isn't a contradiction that i am 'fit' and i'm in the market for a cane (maybe)#(i've been looking around because i want help getting up when i have an 'episode' of pain)

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faffreux · 2 months

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#i actually hate that i drew this so much i'm crying #shitpost #starbeanserver

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priceofreedom · 4 months

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funny how everyone seemed to adore Zack until he started having more screentime...

#it's honestly very surprising. i see hate towards him almost every day since Remake came out and i wish i was kidding #and yeah yeah i know other characters get lots of hate too but the hate towards him has been so sudden and random???#idk maybe he *was* hated before but i just didn't notice #but at the same time no. i'm 100% sure the hate increased considerably after he was shown to be alive in the Remake #i feel like some people are just weirdly concerned he is gonna overshadow the main characters which is stupid #this story is still about Cloud and the others #we're just gonna explore another reality (allegedly) with Zack it's not that deep bro #(rebirth spoilers) -> even in Zack's timeline Cloud AND Aerith are there #and who knows how many more #like i get shippers being petty because when are they not petty #but i've seen non-shippers/casual players saying they do not want to see more of him and being all bitter bc he's important #he's always been important you all just refuse to acknowledge it!!!#no matter how many times hamaguchi nomura nojima etc say he's super important ppl just keep denying it 💀#as if y'all know more than the freaking devs i'm getting tired of this bs #my post #i'm glad the devs love him as much as we do. cry about it

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thelifelessgirl · 2 years

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Hold back the tears is a horrible thing: the throat burns, the nose too, you breathe badly and you repeat yourself "not here".

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lotus-pear · 3 months

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Any thoughts on BSD winning anime of the year?

good for us ig but compared to jjk s2 and aot finale i'm literally shocked and quite frankly feel it was undeserved. mappa worked their ass off this entire year w csm and jjk s2 not to mention the last two episodes of aot and either of those deserved the number one spot over bsd 100%.................this has nothing to do with my personal vendetta against studio bones btw i just feel like mappa solos in every way w their animation and art style and esp their anime adaptations (more than i can say abt bones)

#congrats mister osamu dazai you won crunchyroll or wherever the poll was #i'm pretty indifferent if i'm being honest like good for me as a bsd stan but i am so upset as an aot girly #like that is literally the best piece of fiction of all time imo and it lost to goofy queer detective anime? be fucking forreal #sry i bet all of you can tell that despite how much i talk abt bsd it's nowhere near my fav and i will continue to cry abt it winning aoty #sigh. hate it here. i'm sorry studio mappa maybe next time #ANYWAY one thing i will say abt bonesis they ATE w mp100 this year so hey that's smth #lotus’s asks

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aq2003 · 3 months

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i just got done with my twelve era rewatch and can i just say, god doctor who would be good if it was good

#bill you deserve so much better i'm so SICK #im SICK and TWISTED #it made me cry again but i hate the finale eps even more now #dr who #12 era

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