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#i'll be happy to answer any questions or concerns~ love y'all <3
mooodyblue · 1 year
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Thank you for answering my questions! I’ve read some of your writing before and I didn’t really understand it but I thought they were cute, so now I understand!
Do you ever write about reader and Elvis being in little space voluntarily at the same time? I think that could be really cute, doing something like a sleepover building forts in their pajamas with stuffies and a billion pillows.
Also, congrats on 500!! ❣️
hi thank you!! sorry for getting to you so late! i wanted to write this so!!! i also included jerry just bc i love jerry, hope you enjoy! and of course, if you have any more questions, I'm always happy to answer <3
wc: 1.3k
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elvis and you switched roles often. sometimes he wanted to be the baby while you 'played' mommy, sometimes you just wanted to be the baby, to be taken care of. elvis always came first though. 
it was getting frustrating to go back and forth. something needed to change and fast. so here you were sat at the dining table with elvis, fidgeting with the mug in front of you. he let out a frustrated sigh, "if you want to leave me because of this, i understand." you muttered. 
his eyes widened at you, furrowing his brows. "what do you mean? i ain't leavin' ya for somethin' this silly." 
"well, we can't both be.....y'know." 
he let out a 'hm', taking a sip from his own mug. "why not?" 
you cackled, "elvis, you know why." 
"no, really!" he sat up in his chair. "i can get jer' to come over. he won't mind." elvis quickly got up and rushed over to the phone, beginning dial jerry's number. 
"woah, hold on. what makes you think jerry can handle two of us? he can barely handle just you." you cautioned. "he has a life too, y'know."
he waved you off as he dialed jerry's number, calling him to invite him over with no explanation whatsoever. 
when jerry finally came over, he was sitting on the couch hovered by the two of you, both looking at each other with a concerned look. jerry looked up at both of you, "you look like you're about to tell me y'all are gettin' a divorce or somethin', spit it out." 
elvis finally spoke up, giving you a look then back at jerry. suddenly he was at a loss for words, unsure of how to ask him to take care of both you and elvis. 
you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. "if both of us go down, would you be willing to watch us both?" you said straight up, no hesitation in your voice. 
"go down? like.....like elvis does? you do that too?" jerry asked you. "i don't know if i can handle both of ya...elvis is already a handful."
"see," you turned to elvis. "that's exactly what i said."
"c'mon man, j-just like a trial. just this one time, please? a-and if you don't i-i'll fire ya! promise that!" he threatened. 
you playfully smacked elvis's arm, "hey!" he yelped. 
jerry had been threatened many times before. elvis acted on it just a few times but only to come crawling back to him, begging for him to come back. to be honest, jerry didn't feel like dealing with that again and grinned and beared it, agreeing and planning it out with both of you. 
it happened a few days later. jerry came over mentally prepared to deal with whatever the two of you throw at him. 
you and elvis both had your pajamas on, giggling to each other playing with your blocks and knocking down towers. "i can make my tower higher!" you teased.
"nuh-uh! i'll make mine higher!" elvis brought more blocks to his side and continued to pile them shakily on top of each other. 
"why don't you combine them both to make an even bigger tower?" jerry suggested. 
you and elvis both paused, considering the idea before nodding your heads in agreement. the two of you worked on making a high tower, only to get bored a few minutes later. you gasped, coming up with an idea. “fort!” you exclaimed. 
“you wanna make a lil’ blanket fort?” jerry asked, “how ‘bout we have elvis go get a few of your plushies and me and you can build one together?” you nodded excitedly as elvis hopped up to gather his plush friends, choosing which ones to bring carefully. he didn’t want to leave any out though, maybe he’ll bring all of them along. 
meanwhile, you and jerry were hard at work building your fort. he pushed chairs up against the wall, arranging them so they were spread apart to put the blankets over. he topped them off with pillows to keep the blankets secured, giving enough room for the three of you and your stuffies. you stood back and admired the work you and jerry did, smiling proudly. now all you needed were snacks and a few coloring books. elvis arrived with nearly his whole collection of plushies, earning a look of surprise from jerry. “why’d you bring them all?” jerry asked.
“w-well, um,” elvis stuttered. “i-i was g-gonna bring just a few b-but then elvie felt bad about leavin’ the other ones out a-an’ they deserve to see the fort too a-an’ i-i jus’ couldn’ let ‘em sit there all alone in the closet…” 
jerry shook his head, waving it off. “alright, just this once, but you gotta pick ‘em up and take ‘em back to your room when we’re all done here.” 
you helped elvis bring them into the fort, stacking them around and making sure they’re comfortable and cozy before getting into the fort. “jer’?” you started. “can you get us some snacks? a-and maybe our coloring books?” you asked politely. 
he nodded, “anything for the two of ya.” he left to fetch you your little snacks and coloring books, even making both of you pb&j’s and filling your sippy cups with juice. he occasionally glanced over at the two of you in in your fort, giggling away and tickling eachother with plushies in your lap. 
elvis was a lot more calmer when he was little with you. he wasn’t running around, giving jerry a hard time and clinging onto jerry constantly. he was carefree, slightly calmed down and just enjoying his time with you. honestly, he wished elvis was always this calm while little, maybe he’ll have the two of you be little together more often. he finished up with your snacks and brought them to you, climbing under the fort the best his height would allow him. “alright you two, don’t get too crazy. i’ll be right outside.” 
you muttered a thank you and happily ate your sandwich along with elvis, picking out a book as he dumped out the crayons in front of the both of you. “should we color jer’ somethin’?” elvis asked in a whisper. you nodded, opening your book and picking out a page.
elvis was quicker at finishing his page and often glanced over at your work of art, admiting the various colors and how careful you were when coloring in between the lines. he decided to move to another page, flipping through to find the perfect one. he setteled on a pretty princess that reminded him of you and colored it to the best of his ability, his tongue poking out in concentration. 
when jerry came to check on you and elvis, that’s when you decided to show off your photos, proudly showing off your work of art. jerry gasped, holding each page in one hand. “oh wow! look at that! y’all are some real artists! ya did this all by yourselves?” you both nodded proudly.
“um-y/n…” elvis said shyly, “i-i also d-drew you somethin’ an’ ‘s not perfect b-but…” he ripped out the page in his book, handing it to you with a rose tinted blush on his cheeks. “‘s okay? d-do you l-like it?” 
you examined the page, letting out an excited squeal and jumping into elvis’s arms. “elvie! i love it!” you giggled. “‘s pretty like me!” you squeaked. you pressed a kiss to elvis’s cheek, making a loud ‘mwah!’ noise. 
jerry smiled at the both of you, his heart melting at the moment between the two of you. he let you hang out in your fort a little longer before catching you both snuggled up to each other, stuffies in both of yours and his arms, asleep and at peace. elvis had his thumb between his lips and jerry would usually frown upon that, but he just looked too peaceful to change his position, leaving the two of you to sleep under the fort and the glow of a nightlight off to the side.
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teawithkpop · 5 years
Text
🔮 October Update 🎃
tldr; I’ll be on a semi-hiatus until the end of the month + I am working on a spoopy story for you guys 🖤 + I might make a twitter?? more info below the cut
topic number one] semi-hiatus
ahh, autumn. that lovely time of year when my birthday falls (wink wonk), and spoopy events start to manifest...
every year around this time, certain events take place. certain... holidays.
that’s right, you guessed it.
the HIGH HOLIDAYS are in FULL SWING
which means I will be on and offline like a frickin yoyo until they are over~ I am very grateful for your patience with me as I rest and pray and chow down on that GOOD FOOD thank you uwu much love 💖💖💖
xox ~ RaRa
FAQ
Q: what are the high holidays?
A: the high holidays are celebrated by Jewish people all over the world, every year, and they consist of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. even though these two events are considered the “high holidays”, most people also include the days of Sukkot, Shmini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah when using the phrase.
Q: lmao what the heck are those gibberish words
A: those are the names of the holidays lmaooooo
Rosh Hashana - the Jewish new year Yom Kippur - the Jewish day of atonement, to cleanse our spirits for the upcoming year Sukkot - the week-long harvest festival, very happy, lots of food Shmini Atzeret - the day following Sukkot, sort of like an after party for the soul Simchat Torah - the celebration of finishing reading the Torah, and starting it all over again to make a continuous loop
Q: okay so that’s like... five days. why do you need a hiatus?
A: oh you sweet young fool. you innocent spring chicken. clearly you have never experienced the high holidays in all their glory. you see, because of the time difference, if you live outside of Israel, then each holiday is celebrated for TWO days instead of one. (much the same way that you celebrate kpop birthdays if you live outside of Korea: once when it’s their birthday their time, and again when it’s their birthday your time... wait that’s how everyone celebrates kpop birthdays right;;?)
Q: okay but that’s only like... ten days... what’s the biggie?
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A: this. this is the biggie. each holiday is only like two or three days apart from each other.  it’s madness. completely bonkers.
Q: oh... is it like that every year?
A: YES. YES IT IS LIKE THAT EVERY YEAR on and off back and forth and dammit it always throws my internal clock completely out of whack TTuTT like can you imagine if, for example, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas and new years were all within thirty days of each other??? chaos. society as we know it would crumble under the pressure. but not the high holidays. oh no. the high holidays go HARD man 😤
Q: alright, so you’ll be busy this month... why are you explaining so much? why did you make a whole FAQ? you don’t really need to give a reason.
A: *sighs* man, I dunno. I’ve had some shitty people in my life that made me feel like sharing things about myself would only push other people away and alienate me from potential friends. I’ve always given the glossed over version of my life to anyone who asks, and I always told myself it was to avoid awkward questions or funny stares. But I don’t want to do that anymore. So, in the spirit of the new year, I’m being completely candid. I won’t be online this month because I’m celebrating the high holidays with my family. My devices will be shut off. I’ll be cooking food and reading and praying and taking blissful 5+ hour naps and ya’ll should be jelly B)
Oh! And in the spirit of the new year, as is tradition, if I have done anything to upset or hurt you - yes, YOU reading this - in any way in the past year, whether it be intentionally or unintentionally, I sincerely apologize, and I hope we can start fresh! I will work harder to be a better RaRa this year and to share more care and kindness with every person I encounter 😌🍎🍯
topic number two] spoopy story
that being said, even though I’ll be on and offline, I will be writing in between holidays and 8 hour shifts;;; I have come up with some ideas for some new stories, and the lovely Spex [@bang-to-the-tan] has been dumping gasoline on the garbage fire of my writing brain... 😈 go give her a hug from me please <3
one of these ideas is... a bit scary, and kinda sexy... and has some domestic fluff as well as demon/ghost!BTS members.. and at least a threesome, maybe more... 🤔 we shall see~ it’s all in the early stages, but! since it’s a oneshot, hopefully?? I’ll have it ready for that time of the month?? 👀 hopefully like don’t quote me on it but also look forward to it!! ^^ I’ll post some more updates about it once the draft is a bit more complete
topic number three] twitter??
I want to make a twitter to interact with you guys more!! sometimes I still feel lonely on here even though I have all you wonderful people who read my stories :((
also this is a secondary blog, which is great for some reasons, but also terrible for others,,, I can’t reply to replies as teawithkpop, I can’t follow blogs as teawithkpop, I can’t send in asks as teawithkpop... the limitations can get a bit frustrating sometimes,,
so I thought hey!! why don’t I make a twitter in junction with this blog? you guys can vote on polls and I can reply to your replies and whatnot~ we can make our own hashtags and freak out over kpop content and I think it’ll be a grand old time all around 😊💓
please let me know if you’d be interested in chillin on twitter with me! <3
I think that’s about it for updates! have a lovely october babes and please enjoy the spoop of it all >U< 🎃🔮👻
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honestlywtf04 · 2 years
Text
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬
warning : angst, heartbreak, betrayal, swearing, crying, mentions of cheating, death threats.
summary : he may have owned up to it, but actions have consequences.
a/n: thank you to @venicebixch for reading this first and telling me to post this <3 - 💫
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dear y/n,
watching you walk out of my room so aggressively and angrily, is an image i'll never be able to get out of my head.
your friends dm'ing me calling a 'piece of shit' or an asshole is something i don't blame them for. my actions have consequences.
the consequence was watching you move on. but not with anyone, but with my best friend. that shit hurts. when thomas showed me the picture you posted on your story of you and jett kissing, multiple emotions rushed through me. anger, unhappiness, heartbreak, betrayal, and so much more that i can't even put to words.
regret is something i would not feel. everything i would do, i wouldn't care about what anyone felt. but why were you the first to show me that?
why did i have to be so attached to you? why do i have to love you so much but be so stupid?
why did i sleep with her knowing that i shouldn't have?
you found out and you left. the second you stepped out of the door, it was like the ceiling was collapsing on top of me and no one was able to help me.
i felt like i was suffocating, i couldn't breathe. i was laying on the floor, disgusted with myself for hurting the one good thing in my life.
while i was pretty much dying in my room all alone, you were probably with jett. i never expected you two to be together at all.
you guys are together and now i'll never get you back. but i wouldn't expect anything else. you deserve to move on, as much as it hurts me, you deserve happiness and i hope jett is giving you that.
i miss you, i love you, and i hope that one day, you'll forgive me.
love,
vinnie the pooh
i sighed as i read the letter that i received three months ago.
when i first received it, i cried. you can't blame me, vinnie will always have a piece of my heart that will belong to him. that's the funny thing about first loves, they will always find their way back into your mind whether you like it or not.
jett and i celebrated our four month anniversary last week. you might think 'rebound' but he is far from that.
he was the one that told me that vinnie had sex with faith. he thought that 'bro code doesn't exist if he fucks up like that'.
he would spend the night at my house, rubbing my back to calm down my sobs. making me laugh at any time and any place.
as time progressed, so did our feelings. we never would've expected to be together but life happens i suppose.
as far as i know, vinnie cheated once. but that was one too many times. i don't know when or where it happened and i don't care.
my phone starts ringing 'jett❤️' is being shown on my screen. smile and answer the phone.
"hey baby, um how are you?" he asks sounding concerned.
"uh fine? why?" i ask, confused by his question and tone.
'"have you seen twitter?" he sighs. i furrow my eyebrows while mumbling a confused "no."
"i'll call you after i check it out," i hang up not allowing him to respond.
i open twitter and check whats trending. my eyes widen when i see 'y/n cheated on vinnie hacker with jett ashford' as #1 on trending.
huh?
i click on it, seeing a post of vinnie liking a tweet about someone accusing me of cheating.
my dm's being flooded with his fangirls saying 'cheater' or 'kys'
vinnie is one dumb motherfucker.
@y/n.y/l/n tweeted
i'm going live in a few minutes to explain the whole thing. the hate needs to stop.
💬 128k 🔁 70k ❤️ 259k
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
"hello welcome everyone," i greet, biting my lip anxiously.
'homie hopper'
'downgrade😭'
'told y'all she's a hoe'
"you know what, i'm not gonna wait for people to join," i smile in frustration.
"let me just clear the whole thing, i did not cheat on vinnie with jett. i didn't cheat at all," i sigh, trying to calm down.
"vinnie lied, and if you want proof..." i stand up to grab the letter he gave me, not noticing that vinnie and the entire hype house house joined the live.
90k people joined the live
i walk back towards my phone with the letter in my hand. "this. this letter vinnie gave to me pouring out his emotions," i hold up the folded letter.
"i will not read the whole thing but i will read one small part," i unfold it and search for that one specific sentence.
"ah! 'why did i sleep with her knowing that i shouldn't have?' " i read. i check the comments seeing what they are saying.
'she's still lying, the paper is probably blank'
'still don't believe you'
"y'all don't believe me?" i raise an eyebrow. i see that nailea and jett are watching the live so i speak, "nai please join the live for more confirmation." i accept her request.
"hey," nai smiles when she joins. "hey. now please explain the whole thing, because i don't even know it, only you and jett." she nods.
"so i went to hype because i needed to talk to vinnie about something to get you for the anniversary that your mom passed away," she starts and i nod.
"so i went there and long story short he was fucking someone, i will not get into details but i'll just say that they were doing it," i lick the inside of my cheek, wanting to ignore the fury i'm currently feeling.
"he saw me and begged me not to tell you, he was crying and shit. it was kinda embarrassing," she mumbles the last part.
"so i left and told jett, just to see if he knew about it. turns out he didn't and i'm pretty sure that's when he told you," i nod in response.
"yes, he told me. jett was there for me the entire time that i was in my room locked up thinking about what i did wrong. we started getting closer and eventually started dating, no he's not a rebound so i don't wanna hear it."
"jett and i just had our four month anniversary last week, and three months before that, i received this letter from vinnie via mail," i hold up the letter.
"vinnie, i hope you're watching this and if you're not, then tiktokroom will post this. don't send me a letter talking about bullshit then lie to your own damn fans saying that i cheated on you. you wrote on this piece of paper saying that you felt betrayed that i got with jett," i pause to take a deep breath.
"well guess what, i felt betrayed that you slept with her the same week that marked three years that my fucking mom died," i'm not sad, i'm more pissed.
"so i'm sorry if what you wanted was sex but i was mourning the loss of my mom while you were having sex with someone that wasn't me."
'damn vinnie'
'we love you y/n'
'it happened months ago why do you still care 💀'
"believe me or not, i don't care. but i know the truth and so does everyone else that i know. vinnie you are not forgiven and you'll never be. fuck you," and with that i end the live.
"it's gonna be okay," i hear my boyfriend speak from behind me. i turn around and smile at him, not questioning how he got in.
"i know it will, i just don't know what he was thinking," i sigh. he grabs my arm, making me stand up and wraps his arms around my waist.
i smile and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him back. "i love you," he whispers.
butterflies... wait what?
"i-it's okay if you don't feel the same way, i j-just wanted to get it off my chest," he looks down, anxiously waiting for me to respond.
i smile and connect out lips, he immediately kisses back. his tense body relaxing to my touch.
i pull away, heat rising towards my cheeks at the way he's staring at me, like the only girl in the world.
i love him
"i love you too," he smiles brightly, showing his pearly white teeth.
"i. love. you." he pecks my lips repeatedly after each word, causing me to giggle.
our moment is cut short when my phone starts blowing up. "it's gonna be about him just watch," i release a humorless chuckle.
i smile at him before unwrapping my arms and grabbing my phone.
@tiktokroom tweeted
looks like #vinniehacker account got banned on all platforms, including his twitch account after seemingly lying about his ex-girlfriend #y/n.y/l/n cheating on him with his best friend #jettashford. thoughts? ☕️👀
💬 200k     🔁 150k     ❤️ 483k
vinnie's pov:
"vinnie what the fuck!" thomas yells at me. i run my fingers through my hair. i can't log into any of my accounts.
"i don't know okay! i was just so fucking pissed!" i yell back.
"boohoo your ex moved on, deal with it! get this fixed or you're out of the house!" he threatens.
"you can't do that!" i stand up. "yes i can, you wanna know why? 'cause i own this fucking house. i made this for content, and if you can't do that, then you have no place here," he mutters, looking straight into my eyes clenching is jaw.
he gives me one last look before storming out of my room.
"damn your fans really turned on you," nikita teases. i look at her with a 'not now' look.
"oop- sorry," she walks out.
i take a breath of frustration.  "why do i have to be so stupid."
"i don't know, you tell me," i hear a soft spoken voice that i've been wanting to hear for months.
i turn around and my jaw almost drops at the sight in front of me. she is actually standing a few feet away from me looking so effortlessly beautiful.
oh how bad i want to sweep her off her feet and shower her with kisses telling her how much i love her.
"y-y/n? what are you doing here?"
"we haven't talked in months and the most recent thing i've heard about you on the internet is how you said i cheated on you," she steps towards me but stops once she's about five feet away from me and crosses her arms.
"i'm sorry," i say so quietly she can barely hear me.
"for what exactly?" her eyebrow raises, waiting for my pathetic answer.
"for everything. for cheating on you, for making up lies about you, for hurting you, and for ruining the best thing i ever had," i look into her eyes. the same eyes i fell in love with. i still have hope that she has the least bit of love for me. but she's with him.
"vinnie.. i forgive you, i do."
my eyes soften at her words.
"i still love you," i blurt out, but not regretting saying it.
"vinnie.."
"no please let me talk. i fucking love you, more than anything or anyone in this world. i am so damn sorry that i cheated, i have never regretted anything as much as i regret that. you have no idea how much it pains me to see all the pictures of you and jett on social media. or seeing comments on my posts about how happy you look and it's not with me. it hurts that i can't pick you up and kiss you or even hug you. i hate myself for hurting you, i hate myself for all the struggles i put you through, i love you and i strongly believe that somewhere in your kind heart you still love me even if you don't want to admit it," unwanted tears start slipping out.
every. single. word. i said, i meant it. i love this woman, i want to have kids with her, i want her to be my wife, i just want her to be mine again no matter what it takes.
she closes her eyes to fight back tears.
"vi-nnie," her voice cracks slightly.
"i will always love you-" my eyes go from upset to hopeful.
"-but, you had your chance and there is no going back," my mouth opens a little and more tears start falling out.
"what we had was beautiful, but that's in the past now. you have to move on like me. find another person to want to have kids with, another person to call your yours, find another person for you to love and another person that you'll want to marry," her words are heartbreaking, i don't want anyone except her.
"i don't want anyone but you," i hiccup. how could she tell me to move on?
"i'm sorry vinnie, but you have to move on," is the last thing she says before walking away leaving me there. heartbroken, sobbing uncontrollably. my heart is physically in pain from her heartbreaking words. how can she think i want someone else?
"i love you and i'm proud of you baby," i hear, jett? say from the hallway.
please don't say it
"i love you too," she whispers back making me cry even harder.
author's note: feedback is very much appreciated <3
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rogue-barnes-16 · 5 years
Text
HEAL ME (part IX/X)
Summary: she was a nurse. He was a soldier. They fell in love at first sight. It was beautiful, true love. But something isn’t beautiful because it lasts.
Pairing: 40's!Bucky Barnes x nurse!Reader
Title: You'll never know
Genre: hypocritical fluff
Tags:
Heal me: @just-add-butter @mannls @bethanyzed @fandom-addict-aesthetics @kitttysblog @roxytheimmortal @futuremrspeterparkerholland @i-am-a-fandom-slut @mrsbarneswillseeyounow @chook007 @avengersassemblee @littlephoenix-fire @androgynouswolfcookiemug @babyplutoszx2 @calspalkira @unnecessarydelivery @-lilacnialler- @silver-winter-wolf
Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @almostmellowsalad @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver
Warnings: language, angst, death
A/N: if you got this far, you just know you're about to suffer. If it makes y'all feel better, I suffered writing it, too so yeah, we're even. Hope you "enjoy" it lol <3.
Heal me masterlist
Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist
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STEVE'S P. O. V.
I sighed, arms crossed over my chest while my mind roamed the pros and cons of Bucky's request. "She's gonna get mad." I finally replied, lifting my eyes to look at my bestfriend. "She's gonna get really mad, Buck."
"C'mon Steve." he whined, taking a couple of steps in my direction. "I didn't ask for anything in all this time, now I need ya to do me this favor and you're gonna say no?"
I shook my head no. "that's the thing, pal, 's not a regular favor." I peaked at our sides and lowered my tone to speak again. "You're asking me to leave our nurse out of this mission."
"alright, Stevie. Tell me ya think she's needed in this mission." he retorted, slowly building up a point that I knew I wouldn't be able to take down. "Let's say someone gets hurt, what do we do? We take whoever it is all the way back to the cliff?" I averted my eyes, well aware that he was right. "It's a suicide mission, either we come back with Zola, or we don't come back. So please, leave her out of this one." I pursed my lips, still hesitant about taking that decision. "Steve, for fucks sake, I love her."
I took a moment before responding. "She's gonna hate me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
READER'S P. O. V.
"what the hell was that?" I questioned, genuinely confused about Steve's decision to leave me out of this one mission, alleging zero reasons. "He can't fuckin' do that without Philips' permission."
"Ya heard him, ya ain't coming." Bucky stated putting on his blue coat without sparing me one single look. "ya ain't needed."
"what the hell is that supposed to mean?" my question held a warning tone, letting him know I didn't like one bit what he was saying.
"we don't need medical assistance in this one." he replied, a little quieter than his voice had been in the previous sentence.
"Suddenly y'all know when I'm needed?" I started to pace.
"Ya heard Steve, doll."
"Yah, and now he's gonna hear me." I made my way to Captain America's tent, but right before reaching it, Bucky’s hand was tugging my arm. "what the hell ya doin' now?"
He only let go when we were far enough from the camp for them to hear us. "It wasn't Steve's idea." he confessed. "I don't want you to come."
"You can't do that." I stated in a growl-like tone. "You can't leave me out of missions 'cause you're scared of losing me." I stepped closer to him, not breaking eye contact for a single second. "you think I ain't scared of losing ya?" I whispered with concern mixing with the anger in my voice. "you think I don't wanna pull your self-deprecating ass outta the battlefield and drag you back to Brooklyn?" he slightly tilted his head to the side, his slate blue eyes roaming all over my body, and getting lost here and there. "But I don't do it, 'cause I know I can't,' cause this doesn't work like that."
"what if you could?" his hushed tone made it seem as if he was about to confess a secret no one knew. "What if it worked like that?" I frowned, not really understanding what he wanted me to. "what if we come back home?"
"What- what d'ya mean?" I muttered, trying not to get any hopes beforehand.
His fingers intertwined with mines hesitantly, and, after licking his lips, a half smile that I had only see the night we met appeared in his gaze. "y'know what I mean." he closed the distance between us, his lips ghosting over mines. "I wanna take ya back to Brooklyn, to a house of ours."
"Bucky..." I could feel my legs shaking as swallowed, trying to calm down before attempting to form a proper sentence. "I... Steve-- what 'bout Steve?"
"That punk got this handled, and Carter got him handled. I've had enough of this bullshit," he murmured, pecking my lips in the most tender way. "I just wanna wake up every day in an actual bed with you besides me. I wan' a future with my best gal that doesn't include war and death."
His eyes, that had been casted down to our feet during his little speech, came back to mine, and to his dismay —and to my damn luck—, I saw the trick. "Ya gonn' ask me to stay out of this mission again, and then ya gonna promise me we'll leave when you come back, don't ya?"
"Doll..." he clenched his jaw, unable to deny that disappointing truth that had just ruined my brief hopes.
"ya think I'm a lil gal?" I inquired, pulling away from him. "you'll come back, and we won't leave, I'm not stupid James."
"Please trust me on this one." he pleaded, with pain in his voice, the same pain that was making my heart clench, the pain caused by the fact that what Bucky had just described was impossible. "Please Y/n... Why can't ya trust me?"
"Fuck 'cause it's been more than two years and you're still protecting Steve, not giving a fuck 'bout your life!" a tear was shed, but I was fast enough to wipe it away.
BUCKY'S P. O. V.
"we both know that when you come back, we're not leaving." she now refused to look at me in the eye, and, even if it hurt like hell, I knew why she wouldn't believe me.
But it was alright, she didn't have to believe me, I thought. "Ya don't take my word? Alright, you don't gotta, I'll prove it to ya." I informed her, trying my best to calm my nerves by gripping the ring in my pocket.
"Stark's already waiting for ya." she mumbled, hugging herself. "Ya better leave already."
I was going to leave, but a chill ran down my spine, and I stepped towards Y/n, taking advantage of her eyes fixed on the plane situated in our left to steal a kiss from her lips.
"I love you." I waited a few seconds for her to say it back, but she didn't. Instead, she kept her eyes shut while a couple of tears ran down her cheeks. "and I know you love me, you don't gotta say it." I said, more to myself that to her, cleaning her tears. "See ya later, doll."
I turned around and, after taking a couple of steps away, I heard a weak whisper, tamed by the anger and the pride. "Come back to me, Barnes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
READER'S P. O. V.
I hugged myself, standing in the outside of the camp. Not even the way too large for my size coat that belonged to Dum Dum was enough to endure a few minutes in the coldness of that night in London.
I wouldn't have come outside if it wasn't because we had just received a weak, really brief transmission from Gabe, informing us that they succeeded.
That's all he said, that they succeeded. Or at least all he had time to say. That they succeeded.
A minute or so after I had started to freeze out, I saw Stark's small plane preparing to land. I ran towards them, partially because I was so eager to fix things with Bucky —to tell him that I trusted him and I loved him, to assured him I believed him—, partially because I needed the heat provided by a run, even if it was the tiniest.
Gabe and Morita climbed out of the vehicle first, escorting Zola with both of his guns pointed at him. "Take him to the camp, then go straight to the infirmary, will ya?" Morita nodded without looking at me, and Gabe sniffed quietly.
It was then that I hesitated before resuming my approach to the plane, because now it felt as if something wasn't right.
As if the mission had gone wrong.
Since they came back with Zola, that didn't seem possible, but I wasn't able to shake that feeling away.
I wasn't in a rush any longer, because suddenly it came to me that maybe something had gone wrong, that maybe someone wasn't in the plane.
Dum Dum and Montgomery were the next to leave the plane, helping Steve.
Steve who had gotten injured, that was it, nothing else. Then, why couldn't I shake that goddamn feeling off me?
I peaked at the inside of the plane to see only Jaques inside with his face buried in both his hands. He was crying too.
But there was no body.
"Where's Bucky?" I questioned, turning around to face Steve. I double checked him and noticed he didn't have any injuries. "Steve. Where's Bucky." no one answered. "Where the hell is James?!"
"we-" Dum Dum swallowed, holding back his tears. He was the only one who dared to look at my face. "he- he fell off... the train."
The world around me stopped and everything disappeared for a moment.
"what?" I barely heard my own voice.
"he was with Steve and I think a hole..." Gabe's words digged deep into me. I no longer could hear what he was telling me, because Bucky had been protecting Steve.
I didn't think much about it. I couldn't. The next thing I remember was my hand slapping Steve's face with such a force that it made him stumble.
"Are you fucking HAPPY?!" my feet led me to Steve once again, probably ready to hit him again, but I felt a tug on both my arms, holding me back. "HE WAS HERE 'CAUSE OF YOU! CAUSE IN TWO GODDAMN YEARS YOU COULDN'T SEE HE WAS HURTING!!"
"Y/n—"
"and now FUCK- he got killed protecting you' cause that's the only thing he was here for!" I tried to reach him again and I felt another tug. "YOU FUCKIN' DRAGGED HIM HERE! AND YOU DRAGGED ME TOO! AND NOW HE'S DEAD AND THE ONLY REASON I'M NOT 'S 'CAUSE OF HIM"
My voice cracked. Badly. My legs hit the ground. I felt two arms hugging me and I realized it was Jaques when some French words were whispered against my hair.
I came to my senses just to realize I was crying heavily. Steve was too. After a while I would realized how guilty he felt, how bad my words stung his golden heart, but truth needed to be said.
Right?
Maybe not, maybe I was being terribly unfair, but I felt as if I was dying, and my mind was too focused on the regret and the pain, to realize I had made a mistake.
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