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#i'd just like to not feel like im a fucking loser for once
weaponsdrawn · 4 months
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i cant help but wonder if bisexual is just a dirty word for some people. yall are so fucking scared to be wholely bisexual you gotta try and have it be some tack on for another sexuality or something instead of just saying youre a bisexual in the lesbian/sapphic community, or a bisexual in the gay (like guy liking guy) community and you just have that fucking preference. its never about the bisexual shit coming first yall treat bisexuals like its some fucking addon, like its something pathetic to have a mix between being attracted to the opposite gender and the same gender.
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astralnymphh · 8 months
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some gamer!ellie + loser!ellie mishmash blurbs/hcs, nsfw content mdni!!
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⋆.ೃ;giggling and kicking my feet thinking abt pretending to be a lil dumb when it comes to things ellie/loser!ellie knows like the back of her hand. im mostly thinking video games, she thumbs the controllers joystick around and aims at whatever she's explaining in that attractive ass navelly, gravelly tone, like "you go over here for ammo, then- shoot em' down. oh, and-" her index points towards the 'd-pad' button, pivoting her face to you, "to open the inventory." and shows you the inventory mechanics, flexing her knuckles when it rolls and snaps the joysticks.
⋆.ೃ;loser ellie surely gets all sheepish and Involuntarily smiles, unable to keep her lips from cracking into a crescent whenever she watches you take after her instructions.
⋆.ೃ;you tick your tongue, annoyed at the game, so ellie wedges her long ass fingers under your palms and prys the controller from your grip, "lemme' try." and she clears the objective immediately. personally, I'm not bad at games, but i'd try losing a few times so she can help me 🥱🥱
⋆.ೃ;also she good at clit stim cause she be flicking controller sticks all day 🤣 rubbing in tight and wide circles ohmigorsh 😵 jokey hc
⋆.ೃ;if u get decent at the game, and gain the ability to headshot enemies here and there, she'll whisper little "fuck yeahs" , "good jobs" , "sicks" and "rad" , patting and rubbing the plump of your inner thigh. altho pre-dating or loser!ellie would rub the baby hairs behind the conch of her ear shyly and fracts multiple smirks for each gunshot plowed through the enemies head.
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⋆.ೃ;⚠️you prbly went down on her once while she played video games. seeing how out of focus she gets and the number of times she dies in a boss fight. like she's playing resident evil 4, fighting mendez' jumpy ass and accidently stumbles leon into the fires cuz ur lapping her clit so damn good, her fucking vision fogs up sm she can't tell the difference between the boss' silhouette and the literal wall. mouth gaped open, jaw tightening to the point she's gotta bite down on her lip in ecstasy. she'd deny the fact its stripping her focus while rutting her drippy serum slit into your mouth and undulating her hips in fluid motions. cursing at the screen, "fuck you bitchhh- hnnn.." but you can't differentiate the curses of rage and curses of pleasure. bahhhh 🥴 loser!ellie wouldn't know what to do with all that tho she'd literally just pause the game and watch you work your magic, planting two feet on your shoulders and panting. all reddened up. ☆ 🦢
⋆.ೃ;⚠️and when ur not around, the muted reflections of the screen casting on her skin, stuffing a pillow between her thighs and rocking her hips into the seam while she wishes you were there. fantasizing. then muttering, "fuck am i doing.." conflicting the fact it felt really good. it feels too damn good, too damn wet, r.i.p those boxer shorts + the pillow. HIGHLY loser!ellie. 🦢
MASTERLIST + more loser!ellie
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pupyuj · 9 months
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sudden thought abt a stripper au,, like dom stripper reader and nerd (loser<3) virgin yujin.. yjn friends convincing her to go after exam week and yn having a weak spot cause yujin was so easy to get flushed arrrghg😩
im making this g!p IDCCCC IT'S SO PERFECTJDBCKFFJ YUJIN 🤤🤤🤤 idk how strippers operate so i kinda just .. did anything 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but thank you for this ask anon i was smiling the entire time writing it dkfnjfkdj
yujin really didn't wanna go there 😭 sure exam week ended but she still had lots to worry about, and the concept of having to 'unwind' and 'relax' just simply didn't exact to an overachiever like her, so she was pretty much fighting her friends about the whole thing until she finally caved in cuz she's spineless after all WHAT A LEWSERRRR 🤣🤣🤣 gaeul walking yujin through what she should do once she arrived at the club over the phone while yujin herself was otw there 😭 yujin asking a bunch of stupid questions and nearly choking on her spit when gaeul told her to 'get her virgin dick sucked dry by a hot girl'... she wasn't exactly a prude but god sometimes gaeul can be so... vulgar...
yujin stepping inside the club with her stupid glasses, academic decathlon varsity jacket, and a messenger bag that had a book inside.. who the fuck reads at a club???? her face immediately scrunching up at the sight of men, the smell of sweat and alcohol, and— oh god... there you were in the distance.. dancing in a sparkly dress that was too short, your lacy lingerie showing just a little bit to get the crowd riled up, smiling and winking as the losers at the bottom of the stage throwing bills at you... yujin was so hard.
JSJDNDKFJF YUJIN RUSHING TO THE BATHROOM, LOCKING HERSELF UP IN A STALL AND CONTACTING GAEUL 😭😭😭 gay panicking to the max, babbling about the prettiest girl she has ever seen and refusing to leave the stall and 'seize the moment' like gaeul was saying bcs of her hard on 😭 gaeul basically bullying yujin to fucking go back out there and try to catch your attention 😵‍💫 and yknow what... she does! there you were, doing what you do best on stage when you suddenly take notice of this unbelievably cute girl staring dumbly at you, her mouth slightly agape and legs closed tightly which of course you knew what that meant.. and usually you would grimace bcs you hated perverts but this girl was just too adorable to hate 😩😩
yujin's glasses being halfway down her nosehdjfhfkf, she was practically drooling and nearly suffered a heart attack when you winked her way. clutching onto her bag for dear life, which she used as a cover for her cock bcs goddamn she has never been this hard before... how can she even leave her seat without being noticed??! sjdbfkdkc yujinnie feeling overwhelmed by what you did to her body, and also the stench of men all around her so she runs for the bar bcs at least there wasn't a lot of people there :(( but you still watched her, and she still looked at you and god you were basically eyefucking each other yujin could have come in her pants right there 😭😭😭
omgomgkmf inviting yujin to a private room after your little performance ,, the loser almost literally shaking in her boots when she saw you sitting near the edge of the bed, already looking at her like you want to eat her whole... one leg crossed over the other, wearing a different dress this time but it wasn't any less slutty than the last,, yujin felt like she was losing her mind,,,
"figured you'd be cuter up close," were the first words you said to her, raising your chin and scanning her up and down. omg yujin could explode,,, timidly settling down next to you when you invited her, having to scoot closer bcs she sat far away 😭 "i'd like to know your name, darling." KHSDKBK yujin barely uttering a word but thankfully enough you were used to people biting their tongue around you so you understood her immediately .. patting her thigh and telling her to relax,, climbing onto the bed and coming up behind her,,, taking off her bag, slowly pulling off her jacket, coming close to her ear.. breathing down her neck while she leans back into you,, oh she was helpless, and now she couldn't hide her boner,, not when you were literally cupping it in your hands, chuckling softly in her ear when she whimpered,,
poor baby has never had her cock touched by anyone before :((( so she couldn't help but want more :(( "aw, baby, you need a lot of help, don't you? look how hard you are..." you were saying, watching as her dick grew and grew inside her pants sjdbffjfjjf making her take off her pants only,, the sight of this girl's big cock poking through her boxers, stained with precum, did things to your body but you had to be professional... after all, you couldn't just give your body away for free 👀
"ah, right. i'm still at work," yujin nearly whined when you separated from her and left the bed . standing in front of yujin, who was breathing heavily, fogging up her glasses, hair kind of a mess around her face but she was still the cutest thing you have ever seen 😩😩 "one rule: no touching, yet. be good and i'll reward you handsomely, yujin-ssi, deal?" you asked as you unzipped your dress . yujin nodded desperately, and you could swear you could just reach over and pinch her cheeks . but no, you had a job to do! 😤
yujin's jaw dropping slightly when your dress slid down your body, leaving you in your lingerie that gave yujin many many thoughts... thoughts of her ripping that bra off your body and feeling your tits in her hands, very vivid thoughts of her pulling your panties to the side and fucking your ass,, but no touching, you said... and yujin could definitely be a good girl, for now! 😏
the big loser staying frozen in her seat while you danced around her 😭 she kept her hands tucked underneath your thighs, doing everything in her power to bite down a moan as you pushed your ass against her bulge.. she was feeling dizzy... she could now see why gaeul loved these kinds of things so much 😵‍💫 turning around and straddling her, hands all over her toned body while you grinded your pussy on her cock... you couldn't resist holding the girl's face and kissing her, which you didn't normally do considering your customers didn't behave half as well as she did 😳😳 she was a good kisser too.. bravely pushing her tongue inside your mouth, actually making you moan.. then you're leaving kisses on her cheek, her jawline, her neck where you made sure to leave a mark.. and then you feel her body tense up, and you're hearing her moan...
"love, did you just come?" you asked with a laugh sjdbfjksf yujin hiding her face in your chest, ears all red, and that was all you needed to know 😭😭😭 "aww... i guess it is about time, anyway. you did a good job." you pet the girl's head before getting off her lap, and then you kneeled down on the floor, smiling innocently at the girl while you slowly pulled off her boxers.. dear god was her cock big!
"w-w-what are you about to do...?" she asked, both scared and horny out of her mind.
"you'll see."
and then yujin was whimpering :(( clutching the bedsheets tightly while you stroked her cock :(( then you leaned in and licked off her cum from earlier, making the girl moan loudly at the feeling of your tongue on her dick for the first time 😵‍💫 baby was so sensitive 🥺 nearly crying bcs it all just felt too good, losing her head when you circled her tip with your tongue,,, just falling in love with her voice and how cute she was making the smallest noises when you do anything at all🥺🥺
finally taking her cock in your mouth.. the poor girl struggling to keep her noises in 😵‍💫 head thrown back, legs already quivering, shaking her head as you steadily took in all of her length.. mistaking that action as the baby not liking this at all, so you pulled away, concerned :(
"would you like for me to stop?"
"w-what? no, i... it felt good.. do you want to stop? cuz i can l-leave if you don't actually want to do this... i wouldn't want to force you or anything..." oh, she was too cuteeee :(((((
ofc you didn't want to stop, this girl's cock was to die for.. so you went back onto slowly sucking her off, sometimes looking up to have a glimpse of her face, all flushed and red... "unnie, you're r-really pretty..." she says suddenly??? 😭😭😭 if it were anybody else, you would have rolled your eyes but something about this girl just made your heart skip a beat :((
finally moving your head up and down at a moderate pace, yujin's fingers threading your hair and she was moaning so much 🥺 "unnie.. unnie..!" such an endearing girl! 😵‍💫😵‍💫 yujinnie being driven by pleasure alone that she puts both of hands on your head and started controlling your pace.. all she wanted now was to come in her pretty unnie's mouth, so she was moving you fast, grunting as she dug her nails into your scalp... you didn't mind the pain at all, you wanted this girl's cum down your throat 😳
choking a bit while yujin finally came, the girl holding your mouth down on her cock not really realizing that it had gotten hard to swallow considering you could barely breathe sjdbfjisfk "oh! s-shit, sorry unnie... i'm sorry..." she was saying after you've forced yourself out of her hold,, see you should be pissed bcs she made a mess out of you but you were smiling at her, you might have a little crush now!
and ofc you cleaned her up with your tongue, you would be crazy to waste her cum 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 helping the loser put her jacket back on, feeling your chest warm up when she shyly pulled you in and kissed you 🥺 "unnie... can i see you again?" she was asking as if this was a first date 😭😭 you really could not express enough how cute she really was.
"of course. just ask for '(y/n)', and i'll be here."
yujin smiles widely "(y/n)... (y/n)-unnie... okay!"
it was safe to say that you crumpled up into a ball, giggling to yourself after she left 😩 it was the yujin effect 🤭🤭
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inhibitionfreewriting · 6 months
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request again (if that’s okay?) i’m the noah kahan anon (and your fic was SO good im so excited for more) but butchered tongues by hozier as childhood friends to lovers with lud?
or first time (by hozier) with lud!!!!!
so while the second part to the original request is coming slowly but surely, once again i got into a zone and i just...
--
he was your best friend, who lived across the street and two houses down, who from the moment you met him always had you giggling. small bursts, full on fits of laughter, tiny snickers hidden by tiny clasped hands, trying not to wake the adults, trying to hide your secrets away from the world. but he's always there running around with you, scraped knees, dirt under your fingernails.
there's the time you almost drown in the nearby lake because you're both daring each other to go further out than you should and the mud beneath your foot slips and you're overtaken by water and panic. you're not the best swimmer and when you can't find your footing again, he calls for you, hoping it's just a joke.
he's there just out of reach for the first time and it solidifies just how important he is to you. he helps you up as soon as his little legs can cross the distance. you don't tell him that you think you have a crush on him, because you're only 11 and feelings are cringe and right now it doesn't matter. he's your best friend and you are his.
it's a few years later and you're walking home, crunching the autumn leaves under your feet, kicking pinecones in your path. he's talking about a girl a class you don't share and you can feel your heart breaking into a million pieces as he explains an over elaborate plan to ask her out on a date. in the end she says no and you're there with him for the heartbreak. you call her every name in the book at 14, explaining that she's the biggest loser in existence and anyone would be lucky to date him.
you wish it was you, to be the one cradling his heart and protecting it from the pain, but your friendship is number one and always above all else. he stays that night, too tired to walk back home. it's different, you think, staring at his back in your bed after having his heart broken, but your heart is broken too, isn't it? you stifle your crying to the best of your ability, roll over and force yourself to fall asleep.
he's thinking it too, staring at the pictures you have thumbtacked into your wall of you and he and the few other friends you both have made. there's a picture of you both with your arms around one another in red matching sweaters. he loves that picture even if he doesn't know it yet. it's his favorite. there's something in his chest that tells him to roll over, a paranoia that you're not okay but he mistakes the feeling as just more pain of rejection and doesn't move. it's the last sleepover that you both remember and on nights when you're drunk the memory still stings like a shot.
"ew - really? there's no way you actually like him." he embarrasses you, making a face at your admission of a crush on another classmate. you can't keep eye contact with him while you try to elaborate - he got you a carnation from the school on valentines day and it was sweet and you thought, maybe, just maybe it would be the way to get over the lump in your heart that he was. still, you keep that secret to yourself, going silent halfway through a sentence and curling in on yourself mentally. "look i'm - i'm just saying that derek on the soccer team is dumb as fuck and have - have you ever even had a conversation with him? he's probably just doing it out of pity."
"pity?" you snap, "oh, right, okay, because the only way i'd ever be able to get a date with anyone was out of pity." you stand up and knock the textbook and notes off of the desk in front of him before storming away. there's no way that he thought that low of you, but it's the ichor in your heart gumming up the gears. it hurts, it hurts so bad to think that- was he pitying you? all the time and years that you spent together? doing chores and spending allowances together, memorizing the others favorite ice creams and movies and video games and-
your mother holds you tight that night, stroking your hair as you cry into her chest, about how much you hate him. he's an asshole and he doesn't even like you clearly. she soothes you the best she can, but you're a few months shy of 17 and nothing stitches the wounds he's laid on your fragile heart. that doesn't come until much later in your story. you go to bed that night after clearing polaroid after polaroid off of your wall, throwing them into some school folder that previously lay abandoned in your room. you don't want to talk to him let alone see him before you go to sleep. the poorly sewed pillow from home economics he traded with you gets shoved into your closet.
he keeps it to himself when he gets home, telling his mother that he's tired and he just wants to get through his homework and go to sleep. he doesn't do his homework that night, too busy watching tv and the clock, ticking later and later into the night. his mother is worried but doesn't press, though she makes him eat that night even if he hates it.
not to be dramatic, but for a minute you feel like you forget what his voice sounds like, you haven't spoken in a week. stubbornness flows through both of you stronger than the harshest waters in a river, capsizing anyone who isn't certain of their path. he finds a new groove where he leaves for school 5 minutes off of you, whether it's before or after you can't determine but it's never the same time. a few kids at your lunch table take pity on you when you are eating alone for what feels like the billionth day in a row and you connect easily. as the loneliness gets pushed beneath the surface you wonder if he notices that you're not trying to catch his eyes as often.
he does, and he hates it, because he's trying to return the caught eyes even if he doesn't know it. but you're both foolish and angry over nothing. he passes 17 without you at his birthday party, the invite torn up and in a trash bag in a place where his mother won't find it. he lies when she asks, curious as to where you have been all this time, months and months at this point.
"i don't know," he shrugs, nonchalant to the best of his ability while he watches his friends play melee. he can't make an excuse before one of the guys sits up and scrunches his face in thought.
"didn't you throw her invite out because she's a freak?"
"woah - you can't call her that."
"you literally called her weird like 5 minutes ago!" ludwig's face turns red and sheepish as his mother gives him a look, disappointed and sad all in one. when she leaves, he sinks into his spot, covering his face. how embarrassing. "dude, she is a freak though, she's always by herself, it's fucking weird."
"she's not fucking weird!" he snaps, shoving him. nobody is allowed to call you weird except him, you are his weird friend. an argument breaks out and the party ends sooner than intended and his mother grounds him for fighting in the middle of the house. at least his birthday doesn't get worse outside of the sinking feeling in his chest.
you hesitate on a text saying happy birthday with the picture of the two of you in red sweaters attached. you remove the photo and the heart and send it, plain. it felt disingenuous - maybe he deserves it though, he didn't even invite you to hang out.
you 9:56pm: happy birthday
ludwig 10:27pm: thanks
you 10:30pm: do anything fun?
ludwig 10:36pm: party got cancelled cuz my friends are assholes
you don't think the laugh that comes out of your mouth is real, but his text gets the tiniest of noises from you.
you 10:37pm: all guys are assholes lol
he starts typing and then stops a few times. maybe that was too much and the regret swims through your veins immediately, you curl up into the poorly stitched pillow long rescued from your closet for comfort. the longer it takes, the more you sink, starting to type an excuse, 'i mean not you', but he responds faster than your shaky hands can type.
ludwig 10:50pm: you're right
ludwig 10:50pm: sorry i was an asshole
ludwig 10:51pm: ider what i said but i know it was stupid
of course he didn't.
you 10:52pm: derek would only go out with me bc of pity
ludwig winced in his bed, dropping his phone to his chest and smacking both his hands to his face. wow he was stupid, derek would have been lucky to go out with you. you were wonderful - fantastic even, you kept him up at night, his mind wandering to moments of you smiling and laughing with him, and then the way your face fell when he made that stupid pity comment. rolling onto his stomach he replied.
ludwig 10:59pm: wow 16 year old me was dumb huh
you 11:00pm: you've been 17 for less than 1 day 💀
you 11:00pm: you're so stupid
you 11:01pm: i h8 you
surely, you meant it in jest. you were talking to him, at least, hell this was the most you'd spoken in months so you absolutely had to be joking. he pulled a dramatic frown, took a picture and sent it to you before questioning the decision.
ludwig 11:03pm: [image attached]
you 11:03pm: can i be gay for a moment
ludwig 11:04pm: yes?
you 11:08pm: i missed your face a lot😞
you 11:08pm: i miss you a lot
you 11:08pm: can we hang out tomorrow
you 11:09pm: we can do w/e i dont care
you 11:09pm: we dont even have to do anything
you 11:09pm: can we just hang out
you 11:12pm: please
he missed you too, more than he would ever care to admit, eyes heavy with exhaustion and sadness as he stared at your near pleading.
ludwig 11:15pm: come over when you wake up
ludwig 11:15pm: im going to bed
ludwig 11:16pm: night
shoving his phone far under his pillow, he flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. you were mimicking the position in your own bed, your hands over your heart. how long had you been sitting on your infatuation? how many diary entries had you written about him? how many poorly drawn profiles littered the ripped pages of your notebooks? sleep took you both restlessly, carrying you along the rocky waters till daybreak where you wrestled yourself into shorts and a tshirt.
you couldn't bring yourself to care about how you looked or smelled (you couldn't quite remember when you showered last), you just wanted to give him a hug, the biggest hug you could muster. you missed him so so much. as you'd done hundreds of times before, you entered his home, locked the door behind you and all but ran up the stairs and towards his room.
badum badum badum
your heartbeat was loud and almost painful in your ears which caused you to stop and stare at your hand centimeters away from his door. you wanted to feign ignorance, that your broken heart was not beating like this for any reason, that it was silly and foolish and so very very stupid. chewing on the inside of your lips, you swung his door open. his body jumped a little, still under the covers and barely processing that you were already here.
"hey," came his groggy voice, the heel of his palm rubbing into his eyes as you nudged the door closed and kicked your shoes off. he propped himself up on his elbows and maybe it was the way you looked, slightly disheveled but jittery, or the fact that your breathing was a little choked and heavy, but he wanted to kiss you more than any other girl he'd ever seen. "why're you standing over there still?"
"i-i.. i don't know." he breathed out a tired laugh.
"so come here?" with the invitation you crossed the remaining space between you and flopped into the space next to him, on top of the covers. it takes him a minute but he lazily rolls over to face you. he smells of a late night shower and morning breath. he's warm with sleep and you're warm with the early morning sun.
"i have a crush on you," you blurt out, closing your eyes like you expect physical retaliation from someone who has never actually gone so far as to beat you up. when nothing comes you slowly open your eyes, peaking through the timid butterflies frantic in your stomach. the face he has on is awkward at best and you're trying not to read into what he may or may not be feeling. "s-s-sorry, that's. i shouldn't have-"
"no, me- me too!" he responds, stopping you in your frantic, panicked downfall, not wanting to hurt you again over a miscommunication that he was the cause of. he wraps his arms around you tightly and you let out a tiny breath of relief and returned his hug.
"i'm sorry you're so stupid," you snicker, burying your face deeper into him, still embarrassed. when you both finally pull back, your lips are pursed into a pout, and his mouth is open to say something snarky in return but nothing comes out. instead he kisses you the way he's wanted to kiss you for two years, since the first time he saw you wear a pink tinted lip gloss. you return with fervor and you kiss like that a thousand more times.
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agumonger · 6 months
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shit dude thinking of characters you like that im familiar with and are not your ocs or from... you know, is hard, so uuuuuuh
thomas somnium, 4, 22, 24
Ooo time to channel my 2013 self on this one, I should play Somnium again once I finish Someday
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Honestly Thomas could have his own indie movie, if maybe just as a Me spinoff. I love movies that have a weird surreal aura to them, where nothing is quite what it seems... Which is weird bc I don't watch them a lot?
But yeah a movie just following a character we know next to nothing about? Starving in his home? Dreaming about weird shit and leaving it up to us to figure out was going on? I'd watch the fuck out of that. In fact, a book idea I have is actually kinda similar. I just love dreams in stories so much. And Thomas is such a loser and nobody gives him a break, I relate a lot.
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Never read a single Somnium fic lol. Do they even exist? I'd like it if they kept things ambiguous about him. Kind of sympathetic, but also slightly off. You Almost feel like you can trust him but every now and then there will be Something that makes you go "hmm?".
I wouldn't like it if they just wrote him as edgy and violent for no reason. Actually I hate that in the whole fandom in general, fans do that a lot and like... I get it in two specific cases but...? Thomas? Comeon.
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I thought of Double D by association with you lmao. Weirdly enough I don't know if he reminds me of any other character except... Itsuki. Especially early Itsuki. Terminally confused but with untapped potential. Again, can relate. There's actually someone else from RH that [REDACTED].
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one-abuse-survivor · 12 days
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tbc, i'm not trying to justify abuse. if this comes off like that, just delete this pls so i don't trigger other folks but. how can i justify judging my abuser by all their abusive actions towards me and others when i don't judge everyone else for the shitty things they've done all the time?
how is it okay for me to go "ok i don't want anything to do with you bc of xyz you've done over the years" when i wouldn't want ppl looking at me and constantly going "oh it's fucked up so many times over the years, what a loser" or some shit.
like. is that me holding them to a standard i shouldn't? its not like i bring up different shit they've done all the time, even if it bothers me, but i'd hate it if someone was constantly judging me for shit i've messed up on [though, tbc, i have not abused anyone] throughout my life. is it different bc i've apologized n changed wherever and whenever i could in situations that i fucked up and they haven't? or is that me making excuses for holding them to a higher standard i don't do to everyone else?
sorry if this doesn't make sense. im just feeling a bit conflicted rn. - mc
Hey there ❤️ I understand what you mean, don't worry.
I think there's a difference between judging someone and not wanting them in your life.
When you judge someone for the bad things they've done, that can serve a purpose. For example, it can help you understand where you draw the line on what things you think are okay to do. It can help you reflect on which things you would want someone to apologise for. But judging a person can also be unfair—like if, for example, you judge someone solely based off of something wrong they did many years ago, or like if you keep a list of how many times a person has made a mistake so you can hold it against them. That is, indeed, holding someone to an unfair standard by demanding moral perfection from them.
Deciding you don't want anything to do with another person serves a different purpose. Sometimes it's about maintaining a social image, or about clashing personalities. But, in the case of abuse, it's about keeping yourself safe from a person who has hurt you, or who you know could hurt you because they've already hurt someone else. It's about prioritising your safety and well-being by setting and enforcing boundaries.
You can do both things at once (judge someone for being an abuser, and cut someone out for being an abuser), but they're not the same thing. And I do think "I don't want people to judge me for my past mistakes" and "I don't want this abusive person in my life" can absolutely coexist.
Ultimately, you always have a right to decide who you do and don't want to have in your life, for any reason. Yes, there are people out there who only want to surround themselves with people who they deem have perfectly clean moral slates. Personally, I wouldn't give my time of day to those people. But there is plenty of middle ground between that, and giving an infinite amount of chances to an abuser on the off chance you might be unfair to them if you don't.
You don't have to justify wanting to cut someone out of your life. It's your right. They'll get other chances at relationships where they'll be able to prove they've changed, if they indeed have. You don't have to be the one to give them that chance. It's your right to prioritise your own boundaries, safety, and peace of mind.
I hope that helps. Sending a virtual hug ❤️
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by-glass-and-waves · 11 months
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oh dude dude what do you MEAN "sorry guys who are looking for delicious Courtship/Restart goodies" I LOVE DEPRESSION QUEST, and i love the fact that theres someone else out there that has a runaway narinder AU
the idea of a completely power hungry lamb who disregards narinder as a person is so uncommon, i dont think ive actually seen that dynamic played out in a story/hc tbh ??? so i am LIVING for this, it truly is the spice of life
n like letting him runaway n waits for him to come crawling back??? absolutely maliciously delicious content
but nARINDER OH NARINDER angry, break down, self imploding beloved!!! again there isnt enough completely broken down ISOLATED(emotionally) conceded narinders, so many au's have him conceded, but they always including the lamb trying to get him comfortable and okay, never narinder just being tolerated and treated like property or a trophy and i love that fucked up dynamic
i'd really love to know more abt baal and ayms place in the cult too, are they like mini trophies ? or are they just "eh another follower"
either way the idea of narinder self imploding to the point of complete isolation (running away) is such a good idea, im living for it !!! and the idea of a ratoo & narinder friendship from this has consumed my brain greatly, i love that idea i actually had a brain wave pic pop up in my brain, so i'll draw fanart of this AU later bc i adore it
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WHOA I was at work and I was like "I got an aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" oh man I'm glad you really like the idea! I think I did see some fics like this (well not Narinder dips fics)
I will let you know that these qs making me go "wait hm this would fit into the AU better than my original ideas" so please bear with me!! at any rate omg aw thank you for loving these idees maybe I should just masterpost and mark spoilers for whatever comes to mind here also this is gonna be a long answer post pardon me
so spoilers for Depression Quest and Courtship I guess?
also trigger warning: depression, thoughts of self harm, mentions of mental breakdown
So this is me not reading cotl shit in like, literally months in order to try to preserve my headcanonideas like a loser but damn whoaaa I'm happy that you really like this AU
The initial idea actually did have just plain old Lamb being all okay bb i'll be here waiting for you when you ready I won't push you, I'll let you run away and live your life bb just want you to be happy uwu like they did want Narinder to love them back but they were fine with just making him happy and brought back the Bishops and stuff so they could reconcile but as said before, things didn't seem the same for them
Then as Courtship took form I kind of moved those kinds of feelings Lamb had to the new AU and really honestly removed them from the equation because I wanted to focus on Narinder and Getting Over It™ and just living his own fucking life instead
What did remain was Narinder's complete and absolute breakdown when he locks himself into the house they built for him and his eventual escape. Like goddamn, I was like this man needs to break
The amount of broken furniture, crying and screaming onto the floor and bed, throwing items at whoever manages to get into the house, laying down and staring at the ceiling in a catatonic state, etc
I liked the idea of him meeting other people and them remarking on his fallen status or having to hide his identity when interacting or going to public places and it's pretty much how I came up with the Ratoo encounter/friendship
Imagine Kudaai laughing when he requests a scythe and giving him the smallest, lightest one for his weak upper extremities
addendum: like after escaping he does get better like he runs into kudaai and gets scythe at least but he still sucks since his hands/arms more likely to spaz more when he exerts himself too much (aka combat)
Imagine Narinder trying to stay inconspicuous when he goes to Plimbo's stall at the Lighthouse, etc
Once the idea of resurrecting the Bishops came up around the time I started writing Courtship I kind of went, tbh Lamb would only do that to get Narinder back and then that idea of the Lamb just stuck
The Lamb knew where he was the entire time. The Lamb let him think he was finally free from them. The Lamb decided to uproot his life when he thought he finally found peace (by reintroducing his siblings) and from there the Lamb became the kind of famous hero/whatever who would 100% use Narinder as a trophy SO and show them off while he feels awful and drinks every night to cope
i'd really love to know more abt baal and ayms place in the cult too, are they like mini trophies ? or are they just "eh another follower"
So initial idea was that Baal and Aym weren't crazy about it but came around after Lamb invited Forneus for a visit, then they would be like yes Master should see how good Lamb is
Now thinking it over, it could have a good twist to it:
Baal and Aym think that Narinder should come around because Lamb is a good person and his life would improve
In this, his guardians become his jailers. They've become the ones most actively working for his "rehabilitation", and Narinder hates it because he knows it's another way for the Lamb to break him. He's thinking that it's their mortality that made them cave so easily.
Once Narinder makes it out, they want to make their presence known once they find him, but Lamb explicitly commands them not to until they say it's time. So they go and check on him and obvs this is stwess for Narinder since he feels like he's being watched
Still though, Depression Quest is more Narinder-based than Narinder/Lamb relationship-based because it's him trying to live in a new Lamb-ruled world while trying not to show off his shitty power level or something, Lamb didn't really pull up much once he gets out except for really sending Baal and Aym to keep tabs on him and maybe probably when the Bishops are resurrected but even then it's just like... there's still this kind of sad underlying everything.
So fun fact: a few of Courtship's ideas originated in Depression Quest! Such as the shared love for gardening/camellias by Leshy and Narinder, and the relationship/dynamic between Kallamar and Narinder. I don't know why but their relationship felt fucking devastating once I came up with it hence why I think Chapter 9/Kallamar's quest in Courtship has been my favorite to read and write so far.
Courtship and Depression Quest do share quite a few things, so I'm worried I might echo too much of the same shit should I actually come to write it. While writing out this answer I posted an unedited bit on a prototype for Leshy quest and you may see some parallels to the one for Courtship :o
the idea of a ratoo & narinder friendship from this has consumed my brain greatly, i love that idea i actually had a brain wave pic pop up in my brain, so i'll draw fanart of this AU later bc i adore it
pls show me when you done I want it I'm so glad you like it and yes Ratoo and Narinder friendship is one and only
I think there was more but it's like 2am and I have to wake up in like 3 hours and I think I should just do a fucking masterpost on these AUs
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graces5169 · 1 year
Text
300 prompts, categories and character descriptions.
Leave however many prompts you want with the genre of writing and any necessary character descriptions and any extra detail needed. :) (make sure you also leave
character x reader so I know who I'm writing about)
¡Prompts! (From Pinterest)
1. Why did you leave me
2. Am I that useless to you
3. I hate you
4. I love you
5. Can you hug me
6. Do I mean anything to you
7. Please stop your hurting me
8. Don't look at me
9. You disappoint me
10. I am (so) proud of you
11. Can I sleep beside/with you tonight
12. I'm scared
13. Can I hug you
14. Please hold me
15. Your hands are shaking
16. Stay by my side it doesn't have to be forever
17. Promise you'll return alive
18. I've always hated you
19. I've always loved you
20. Your safe now I've got you
21. Your the only one I trust to do this
22. Your too good for me
23. You've got to be kidding me
24. Have you lost your damn mind
25. Please don't leave me
26. Why don't you come over here and make me
27. Are you jealous
28. I almost lost you
29. Wanna bet
30. Looks like we'll be trapped a while
31. Just once
32. Shut up
33. It's not what it looks like
34. Sometimes it's hard to keep pretending
35. And if I don't
36. I can't help but stare
37. Make me
38. Can't you pretend you love me just once
39. Is your ego really that big
40. Come dance with me
41. Just shut up for one minute
Original/ (not off Pinterest)
42. What are you afraid of
43. Just love me damnit
44. I'm broken and unfixable
45. She's mine
46. I suggest you back off
47. Fuck off mate
48. I'm not watching you mope around like a loser
49. I'm trying to break up with you
50. Did you ever care
51. I was a fucking game
52. Im not your toy
53. She's so annoying
54. Your nothing but a stupid mudblood
55. You tried to kill me
56. I could've killed her
57. Im a monster
58. I hate myself to
59. How'd you do that
60. She never smiles anymore
61. She only smiles when he's around
62. I'd rather date Sirius
63. This time your 'prank' went to far
64. Just my parents
65. You don't deserve this
66. They don't deserve you
67. You have a beautiful voice
68. She's stunning
69. I have to go I'm sorry
70. I can't do this
71. Are we just friends
72. You could never hurt me
73. Your a wolf
74. Are you serious
75. I'd never date you
76. I don't believe you darling
77. You're cheating on me
78. It's over
79. Im pretty sure I'm drunk but you're really hot
80. We can't do this
81. Im sorry
82. It's better this way
83. "Fuck you!" "When?"
84. Im going
85. Im stopping at nothing to get her back
86. Because I'm in love with you god damnit
87. It's too late for me
88. I fancy you
89. Would you fancy a date day at hogsmade this Saturday
(From Pinterest)
90. Im tired of being your secret
91. Who did this to you
92. You are not fine
93. I thought you hated me
94. Im not leaving you
95. I don't owe you an explanation
96. I thought pushing her away was for the better
97. Nobody wants me
98. I want an answer goddamnit
99. No one's ever done that to me before
100. This feels nice
101. I haven't been hugged in years
102. Im pathetic
103. Im not happy here
104. I want my best friend back
105. Go away
106. If he can't see how amazing you are that's his loss
107. What are you smiling about
108. What's in it for me
109. Do you ever stop talking
110. Isn't this what you wanted
111. She's better off
112. Can I hold your hand
113. You can't do that shit
114. You can borrow mine
115. I'll wait
116. He hit me
117. Your one of them
118. I like your scars
119. Don't fall asleep on me
120. Can I date your brother
121. Your a deatheater
122. Don't make me say something I'll regret
123. Can I braid your hair
124. Your really pretty
125. Let me help you
126. You stubborn arse
127. Your in love with her
128. Stay I need you more than you know
129. Your killing me here
130. Tell me I'm wrong
131. I'd be lying to you
132. Lie to me
133. Prove it
134. I'll never get another chance to say this
135. I never stood a chance did I
136. Tell me again
137. This is why we can't have nice things
138. Do you regret it
139. I'm not going anywhere
140. Another nightmare
141. You've thought about it haven't you
142. We need to talk about last night
143. We were drunk we can just put it behind us
144. You were my biggest mistake
145. Are you drunk
146. What happens if I do this
147. I can't have you
148. Just for tonight
149. Be mine for just one night
150. She was crying because of you
151. We're not just friends and you fucking know it
152. You could die and I couldn't care less
153. I never cared
154. Please don't cry I can't stand to see you cry
155. Walk out that door and were through
156. Yell, scream, shout, say something
157. I can't breathe
158. I hate how much I love you
159. Where do you think your going
160. I'm not letting you walk at night alone three miles back
161. I need time and space
162. Run away like you always do you fucking coward
163. You can keep pretending it didn't happen all you want but guess what it fucking did
164. Can't we just be friends again
165. Stop acting like your okay cause I know your not
166. Just talk to me
167. Bite me
168. If you insist
169. I think I'm in love with you and that scares the shit out of me
170. I think your just afraid to be happy
171. I'm afraid I'll hurt her
172. Why are you so nice to me
173. Choose me
174. Shut up and kiss me
175. Your blushing
176. Is that my shirt
177. This is awkward
178. Please come home I miss you
179. It won't happen again
180. I don't see a future with you
181. Why are you helping a monster
182. Stay the fuck back
183. Please pull the trigger
184. Leave! I don't fucking care
185. I can't save us
186. So save yourself
187. Why didn't you tell me how bad it got
188. I never said I wanted a relationship with you so why are you crying
189. I deserve more than this
190. I'm not anyones favorite person
191. I just want to be wanted I'm tired of being needed for everything
192. I know! But you didn't have to use her like that
193. We can start over, please I'll do anything
194. Everything can be perfect so please don't leave
195. I guess we just weren't meant to be
196. You're always leaving me
197. Stop lying
198. If you die I'll go out of my fucking head
199. Your cute when your mad
200. And Your adopted
201. You gave us quite a scare
202. We can work it out
203. You're overreacting
204. You're all I have left
205. I don't care what they think
206. It's me
207. You make me feel safe
208. You guys read my diary what are you five
209. I don't recognize you anymore
210. You make me sick
211. Sorry can't fix what you've done
212. Do you really have feelings for me
213. Don't look at me like that
214. Give me a break
215. It's not a party without alcohol
216. Truth or dare
217. It's six in the morning your not having anymore firewhiskey
218. Your drive me fucking crazy
219. I'm dangerous please stay back
220. Did you hit your head as a kid
221. She's not yours anymore
222. She's deaf dumbass
223. I'm sorry for my brother he's an asshole
224. Oi, fuck off please
225. "I could kiss you right now." "Do it then"
226. What are you doing to me
227. Just admit I'm right
228. He's hot
229. Your my brother I'll always care for you
230. I'm personally offended I didn't get picked to be your fake date
231. They don't love me they're not that stupid
232. We'll what can I say I'm badass
233. Do I get bonus points if I act like I care
234. Excuse me I have to go make a scene
235. I'm gonna need therapy after this
236. Do your parents realize they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right
237. I'm going on a date
238. Will you be my girlfriend
239. Would you rather kiss me or Lilly
240. Your bloody obsessed
241. She looks so perfect
242. You look beautiful
243. I wanna become an animagus
244. Stop coming back
245. Do you love him
246. I can't love you
247. You made me better
248. You ate my leftovers
249. Just get it over with
250. Were best when we're together don't you think
251. Can I kiss you
252. If I kiss you It's gonna change everything
253. Fuck it
254. I'm pretty sure I just made a fool of myself
255. Can you stop ignoring me
256. I'm friends with a bunch of two year olds
257. Hug me
258. Oh deer
(Amortentia)
259. Chocolate, old books and rain
260. Cologne, wet dog and leather
261. Cologne, broom polish and fresh cut grass
(Pinterest)
262. Are you hitting on me
263. This was fun, we should do it again
264. You owe me
265. I swear I'm gonna slit his fucking throat
266. Did you just kiss me
267. Huh ironic isn't it I'm a lone wolf
268. You hooked up
269. You kissed her
270. Teach me
271. What are we
272. What if I do
273. I want you to be happy
274. I think your beautiful
275. Why do you have scars
276. Shut up before you wake them
277. This is why we don't listen to you
278. What do you mean maybe
279. Hey whose side are you on
280. It's okay you didn't know
281. At least my parents are still alive
282. That wasn't love it was a perfect illusion
283. She makes my heart beat at a million miles per second
284. I'm not in the mood to fight with you tonight
285. Come stay with me
286. Don't call me love
287. I always keep my promises
288. Revenge is my best work
289. Why are you up
290. He's amazing
291. She's not going with you
292. I wasn't lying when I told you I loved you
293. Why are you scared
294. Why aren't you scared of me
295. If your a monster for what you've done than I'm the fucking devil
296. You fucking traitor
297. I'll always love you
298. I will never leave you no matter what happens between us I'll always be there
299. Please stop
300. I fucking love you thats why
Genre/ type of story
Friends to lovers
Enemies to lovers
Fluff
Angst with a happy ending
Angst with a sad ending
Fluff to angst
Angst to fluff
+ more
No smut
Character x reader
Sirius black and reader
James potter and reader
Remus lupin and reader
Lilly Evans and reader
Regulus black and reader
Marlene McKinnon and reader
Characters house
Slytherin
Gryffindor
Ravenclaw
Hufflepuff
Any added features
Name?
Hair color
Eye color
Attitude/personality
Relationship status with parents and other characters
Any important details.
8 notes · View notes
quixoticrobotic · 9 months
Note
who's a pair of atop the fourth wall characters you'd like to see get more screentime together?
literally all of them??????? which like i understand why we dont get that, obviously, thats a ridiculous demand. like logistically its not very doable i know this. i basically play with all the characters like dolls in my head i dont expect a ton casual slice of life character driven stuff from this show
but that being said...
off the top of my head
Mark and Linkara but like with them acting like friends and goofing around and mark actually getting to act like a teenager whos found family is a bunch of goofballs, rather than that weird dynamic where mark is just like the embodiment of patience and kindness and wisdom despite being a teenager talking to like, the first adult he ever felt safe around. like i wish the partnerfriends dynamic was a little more balanced??? like mark still has to have like thoughts and feelings and problems??? his best friend is right there!!!
Jaeris and LITERALLY EVERY REMEMBER OF THE COMICREW. like i guess its implied off-screen but like it really feels like they forgot the "to" in "enemies to mutual respect to friends" like. theres so much potential like i cant even type it all up but like.
ok so jaeris is bitter and cynical and frankly jealous that this comic book geek has ALL HIS LIL FRIENDS and ooooh cool wow thats so great you know what the power of friendship and kindness has done for jaeris? FUCKING NOTHING! and like Jaeris going from being like kinda disgusted by this group he kinda sees as like saccharine to the point of cringe like "goody two shoes and his bands of weird losers who like him" to having this big support system other other humans who he feels safe around LIKE PLEASE
nimue and eliza. like!!!! its canon nimue was the first member of the comicrew eliza really trusted that is canon! also like I know nimue just isn't very outwardly emotional and i love that for her! i think her characterization is really great! but like i'd like to see her when she's like. actually just kinda chillin, by nimue standards. and eliza is just always a really compelling and very funny character and just. i want them to hang out. also femslash
Mark and 90s Dude! smells like teen spirit and a literal teen spirit! they both have transmasc swag and i want them to goof off and be pals!
Joanna. just. any mention of joanna she has not been mentioned ONCE since her last appearance EVEN THOUGH YOU'D THINK JAERIS WOULD MENTION HIS WIFE, HIS WIFE WHO HE LOVES SO MUCH THATS WHAT POWERS HIS MAGIC GUN. HIS WIFE WHO HES MARRIED TO WHO IS PRESUMABLY WAITING FOR HIM BACK HOME WHENEVER HE SHOWS UP. IS SHE OK? IM STARTING TO WORRIED SHE'S LIKE DEAD, OR THEY GOT DIVORCED OFFSCREEN OR SHE JUST GOT RETCONNED OUT OF EXISTENCE OR SOME SHIT
tbh i wish the characters just mentioned each other more? it would help a to to make these characters feel like friends and allies who actually like each other. also it'd make it feel like the characters all have lives. like have linksano mention the romantic partners he canonically has like have him mention the fact that he went on a date, have linkara casually ask nimue if erin can still make it to bad movie night or if shes busy, have characters ask linkara how mark is doing since THE WHOLE COMICREW KNOWS MARK EXISTS, have harvey mention playing pokemon cards with linksano, LET JAERIS TALK ABOUT HIS WIFE, just like little offhanded comments that make it feel like they interact with each other
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snixx · 1 year
Text
it's been months but we still talked for hours and neither of us could stop laughing and we never ran out of things to talk about and fuck. you see that?? you don't believe me but we can't lose each other that easily. maybe i was naive, maybe my ideas of forever were a little overly optimistic, but i wasn't wrong. we couldn't just stop loving each other that easily. you were my comfort person once, the person i'd call first when i was sad and i could tell anything to not very long ago, and i remember when we first started getting close and it felt like nothing id ever known. you were my first love in a sense, and i used to think to myself that i could listen to you ramble for hours and feel on top of the world. and that's still somehow true. it's strange, the intensity of feeling you evoke in me, because somehow, it's always you i write these ridiculous letters to. i never sent most of them, most of them are locked in my old journals forever (and the hellsite is essentially my journal now, so welp). but it's always you who makes me feel so mucH i need to write it somewhere to get it out. loving you made me feel alive, and i love so many people now, but yeah. for a while back there, i thought you were out of my life forever, and i fully accepted that. accepting that forced me to reevaluate my entire belief system, every thing i thought i knew, because i never imagined i'd lose you. you were one of the axioms, the grassroots, to my universe. and ive done that now, and i've lived without you and i know i can live without you now, i spent entire months finding you insufferable and not remembering why i ever loved you, but it's only solidified that ive seen the alternatives and i dont need you, but i want you in my life forever. i choose to love you. i love how we can talk about everything and we can't stay mad at each other because we always talk it out to figure it out and we love each other more than our stupid egos. i love how you remember, how im never too much for you. i love how you fight for what you believe in even if it annoys the crap out of everyone and how you always look out for that one person who feels excluded in a group and how you're always honest with me. i love how you didn't believe in so many things until me, but started for me. and maybe you're back to thinking love is a lie and nothing lasts, but i know that's not true. i know you're worth it. you're worth more than any amount of time and distance and every goddamn dimension of physics and I realize the dangers of depending too much on that faith now but i'm not losing it again either i love you bitch bestie bee loser
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abra-ka-dammit · 1 year
Text
other misc fair things that have stayed in my mind:
-i checked my phone while a man was taking the money for the pickle my sister was buying and it was 4:20 and by sheer second nature i said "4:20 blaze it" and the guy started slowly shaking his head and sighed as he turned to make change
-very nice middle aged lady at one of the stalls helping my sister find the best set of "butterfly wings" for her height and outfit being really nice and supportive (even if it was just a sales pitch, she was doing a great job at making us feel confident in the purchase without being pushy or pressuring my sister, and we both walked away happy with the results)
-the belly dancers during their segment in the Pleasure Feast's accompaniment show included mostly plus sized girls who were all working it so right, in the same exact garments as the thin girls, and one of the thin girls was in fact a rather old lady (grey hair, saggy arm skin, the works) who was also working it so right that it made me smile like a doofus just out of sheer "hell yeah grandma u show em theres no age limit on belly dancing!" energy
-the fucking cheeseball personality of one of the knights representing our side of the crowd at the joust. hamming it tf up, trotting his horse by slowly and like flexing and smiling and waving as girls literally screamed and I LOVE U!!!!!'d like they were seeing a literal celeb or something
-the two little girls sitting to my left during the joust (i'd place ages ~5 and 7 ish) who got really into cheering and booing along with me and then started getting worried when the joust broke down into a brawl as the other side's main knight started being a huge dick and sore loser and started harassing the coordinating judge and then full on, off horse attacked the others with sword in hand, everyone swordfighting and then like 3 characters dying with cheesy squirts of fake blood. littler girl turns and looks up at me and says, "theyre just pretending, right?" and i was like yep, it's just a show, they're playing pretend, and then her trying to reassure her older sister(?) over and over "theyre not really dead! theyre just pretending!" and the other girl like fidgeting and being like no! theyre dead! and the littler girl just like, looking back up at me for reassurance every once in a while and confirming that theyre not really fighting, nobody is dead, they're gonna stand back up, it's just pretend (to which i made sure to just keep calmly smiling at and saying Yep! You're right! It's just pretend! to, bc i think if i was their age it would super just worry me more if an adult showed any doubt or hesitation in that answer)
--on that note, I don't know why but random little girls have a tendency to like, inherently like and trust me? maybe i give off serious Big Sister vibes or something, idk. on THAT note, the man they came with who was very old and kinda seemed zoned out so im guessing is maybe grandpa rather than dad, didnt even give a glance to the ADULT STRANGER the children he was attending had started talking to. im totally safe, yes, but a lot of people aren't, so you should at least, idk, pay a little attention???
-my sister quietly asking me what "quandary" means after a character employee visited us in line at the entrance and recruited me and then she into his evil minions program and gave us the minion codenames "stink-eye" (me) and "quandary" (her)
-relatedly just seeing how like, paralyzed with uncertainty and shyness my poor cute little sister was when someone in character tried talking to her, lmfao. she's 19 and i 100% guarantee you at her age i would have been reacting the same. but as fortune has it, age and/or anxiety meds have really opened my nerves up to just fucking rolling with it and saying that ive always been more of an evil overlord type than a minion myself
-not exactly fair related but talking to my sister as we walked around about how we both hate the idea of therapy, incidentally for the exact same reason, in that we had both gone to therapists who treated us like we were Just Being Teenagers and told us our mom/parents loved us and/or that we had great relationships with them that we were too hormonal to appreciate; when in fact we both grew up badly verbally and emotionally abused on the reg. like. bitches, do you not understand your parents dont have to be hitting you or locking you in basements to be abusive, right? when we say mom frequently screams at and threatens us we dont mean "she scolded me for a legitimate reason and told me i would be grounded if it happened again". its not emo teen purple prose. take our words and tears fucking seriously. AUGH. i'm so sorry for any abused teens out there rn in therapy with people like that, i really am. it truly sucks they wont listen to you.
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gayspock · 12 days
Text
ok ep 2. i looked into it more and im confused cuz again like... i swear ive seen no advertising for any of this? it looks like it dropped in aus in NOVEMBER. now its dropped in the uk all in one go.... this past week?? and it apparently drops in the us all in one next month. so im like confused as fuck as to why they would release something like that
one thing i will say is theyre insanely good with the casting still arent they
another thing what was i to say
oh im sorry im watching this and every time i think to myself hmmm i wonder where cosima or sarah or hel- i cut myself off and i think about tatiana maslany in godawful cgi
this kid (jules as the episode title would lead me to believe) is soooo fun i love the hair
WHY THE FUCK IS FELIX HERE
FELIX ARENT YOU MEANT TO BE DEADBY NOW
HOW OLD ARE YOU SIR
HOW OLD IS KIRA
GOOGLE SAYS SHES 47 NOW AND SO FELIX IS LIKE WHAT. GRANDPAAAA GO TO BEDDDDDD
HELP
HWELP
CRAIG CAN YOU JUST BE CHILL FOR FUCKING ONCE AND HELP US TORTURE THIS 16 YEAR OLD
FELIX WHAT IS THIS FUCKING VIBE YOU'RE PUTTING DOWN RIGHT NOW WHATS HAPPENED WHERES YOU GRITTINESS HELP I FEEL LIKE IM GOING INSANE
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN SHES WORKING AT A SHELTER
I SORT OF DONT AGREE WITH THAT OUTCOME FOR SARAH NOT TO BE A DICKHEAD I feel like its like.... squints.how do i fucking describe this. it does not feel like her to me and it feels likeughghh the word escapes me you know what i mean
can this dialogue be any
felix drag her
YOU TOOK HER TO HOME DEPOT. CLASSIC.
i love how lucy is a cunt. i do like that about her i will admit.
We were made in a printer.
NOW who the fuck is He.
sorry also to backtrack a bit im bewilderedand unsure how i feel about them bringing in the old guard at all because hello like look i said what i said i dont want them to have a show called orphan black echoes with like no reason for it to actually be related to orphan black but also what the fuck
if harry potter is still culturally relevant in 2052 i swear to god
come on charlie girl. its gonna be ok. everyone shoots someone in the head once.
beck from victorious i need you to be all in on this ok
so who the fuck is thissssssssss
SO FUCKING WHAT? SO WHAT? LUCY IS NOT ALLOWED TO KIDNAP KIDS? WHY NOT? LOSERS.
JULESSSSS YOU SLAYEDDD THEREEEE YOU SLAYEDDD I WONT EVEN LIEEEEEEEE HELP TOILET SHANKKK
he is kind of so funny . i love you beck from victorious.
im also ok going back to like this relating to people from before like... this charcterisation os kira feels so odd
"lord this place is like neolution without the tails" wow did you get that guys ! a callback
AND YET SOMEHOW LIKE I THINK THE CLUBS FROM LAST TIME WERE SO MUCH MORE REAL THAN WHATEVER THAT IS
james youre tickling me
CHRIST WHATS GOING ON HERE
SORRY I THINK ITS SO FUCKING CORNY WHEN THEY TRY TO LIKE DO FUTURE THINGS DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN THE FUCKING FULL SIZED MIRROR TIKTOK LIVE IS INSANE.
this fucking acting and general fucking reaction is also crazy to me wes im sorry youre adorable but please
JULES YOUREEEEE SO FUNNYYYYYY
FUCK LUCY CAN WE STAY WITH JULES
okay theres just something so off putting about felxi im like help me what is going on
also i feel like kira is like sending me so much i feel like this happens all the time when kids who initially .... no offence.... lacked a lot of character ... now have to be an adult version cuz what are you going off. i dont know who this woman is but she isnt kira to me because who the fuck was kira in the first place but a kid that said ominous stuff and was a plot device for most of the show
also i think theres again something so insanely off i cant tell what it is. i think its still in that space of being so stupid high budget fo rwhat it is and yet itr feels so weird looking. the whole futuristic thing is strange to look at. like this being orphan black which ootherwise like. sci fi but still very grounded. it feels weird to now go to this
and i feel like i'd have preferred a smaller timejump. if they prove me wrong with that then fine but thus far i dont see the benefit of it being in 2052. i'd have preferred them to go less crazy with the like aesthetics cuz theyre just kinda weird and take away from everything for me.
and again i dont like the general approach to all of this. i think they needed to start slower and build stuff up more over time . everything here with jack for example like... i would have preferred if we sat with lucy and lucy alone and we didnt keep cutting to kira . like let us build this up and have it be one long continuous thing and maybe hold out this reveal a little longer. this feels like its rushing. and again the strongest part of orphan black, to me, before was like the slow build of increasingly complex fucking dire situations and being able to layer that shit
hi lucas
kira being a shit mam is so funny to me
FELIX'S ENTIRE PERFORMANCE STILL FEELS SO FUCKINH INSANE TO ME. cuz i get what youre going for but the delivery is jsut so fucking choked by the actor trying to keep it up. i swear he was not that stilted before even when he WAS putting something on. like is it trying to mask his voice age as well or something?
jules is so much more compelling to me again i think it is cuz her storyline IS the slowburn one here . and also shes got all the things i mentioned kind of lack with Lucy
like sorry i hate it when theyre like "haha. she's so spunky." (the actual chatracters are telling us this to the camera) like ok i get it i literally could have GOTTEN that watching
AND AGAIN WHY IS EVERYONE ... i dont know it feels like the exposition in the dialogue is crazy. like theyre shoehorning stuff in. you dont have to have them say everything so literallly and explicitly . help
KIRA PUT THE CYOKEEE DOWNNNNNNNN
ok im pausing for tonight hang on
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anonxconfession · 7 months
Text
Not My Confession:
I live in a small town so this is a throw away confession. I don't want anyone from my redneck republican town to find out.
So there's this person who I will call "Laxative" or Lax for short, because everything that came out of their mouth was like the most vile diarrhea.
So Lax has always enjoyed a privileged life, their mom makes enough money to give them everything and anything and Lax is a spoiled privileged brat with a white savior complex. Unfortunately, due to not having the privilege of having a mother that loved me nor a family that wanted me I became homeless for a while and Lax had a partner who I will call "Christian" since he was a toxic Christian.
Anyway, Christian and I were friends before I found out about his toxic nature and at one point I'd been left homeless again due to the abusive partner of the person I'd been living with and I'd been forced out again. (That's a whole story for another time but long story short despite being Ace Aro women for some reason think I'm trying to steal their bfs??? Yall are barking up the literal wrong treat lol)
So Christian takes me in and he has me live with Lax and their older parent (Lax is an adult don't get it twisted because they lie about their age online and say they're 16 when they're actually 25 which is super weird in my opinion but they sent their followers after me once so I need to cover my bases) and their parent I think is also an alcoholic but that's a whole other thing.
Anyway so I lived with Lax and their parent for years as they abused me, told me my mental illness "wasn't real" because "you don't experience it the same way I do so I think you're lying" yeah that was a real thing said to me. And after all of that Christian tries to get me to be poly with him and Lax and I just... I'm Ace Aro you guys I'm not doing that.
So Lax gets super offended at their husband but obviously blames me DESPITE THE FACT THAT IM ACE ARO AND WANT NONE OF THIS, and they accuse me of killing and poisoning their cat which they lie to the parent about and once again I'm on the street.
Thankfully after that I was basically adopted by my now Bonus Mom but this entire 3 or 4 year abuse has left me with no friends in this tiny ass backwards town and they friends I shared with Lax and Christian have lied about me to the entire nerd community up here so I'll never have any friends out here... these people who have the money and privilege to ruin my life and then just leave town...
Honestly I'm glad Christian left Lax and took the baby they deserve all the suffering after they went through all this trouble to abuse me only yo leave town.... they can leave and make new friends but I can't leave and they ruined any chance of me having friends out here....
Witches feel free to curse them they deserve it.
I'm so fucking done with these backwards thinking redneck losers.
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ramu-ego · 1 year
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AHHH JEEZ A 2 DAYS LATE REPLY MY BAD, i def wouldve responded sooner but i suddenly got busy, missed camping in this little blog here 💔😭 (yes 2 days is a lot in my book LMAO)
when i saw sir nighteye, i looked at ego and i was like. Yea. Yea that’s a type alright LMFAOO.. IVE MEVER SEEN THE REST EXCEPT DAZAI BUT MAYBE THATS SIGN FOR ME TO OPEN MY TASTES A BIT MORE..
100% agree on the ego paragraph!!..!.!?! EVEN IF I WASNT THE BIGGEST FAN ITS SOO OBVS HE CARES.. one day imma see an ego appreciation paragraph analysis explaining every single detail abt what he did and i wouldnt be surprised if that post is from you LMFAO
god i’ve never heard nikko’s eng voice but i’m def not looking forward to it — i read the nikko post though, GOODD LOORDDD may of changed my perspective of nikko on ruining him but still, gotta stay loyal to my favs (a lie, i’m a whore and would jump around but niko just aint it for me LMFAO)
god yea, my timezones been like .. the direct opposite of most people so i wasn’t surprised to see ours be different, JUST CRAZY HOW KUCH OF A DIFFERENCE IT ACTUALLY WAS .. fuckk guess we can twin in being last to almost everything then huh? the only win i get is just having an asian timezone to be early to actual content LMFAO
i respect liking dubs!!!! i used to watch dubs for like, romance anime? toradora and shit when i was WAYYY younger!! HONESTLY I SEARCHED UP ALL UR RECS AND III THINKKK i may start with mob psycho first since it peaks my interests the most! but i’ll def check fire force since it’s one of ur favs, i’ll tell you what i think abt it when i actually DO start it (chronic procrastinator, i even procrastinated writing this message despite how much i wanted to chat LOL)
I HAVE REALLY BAD MEMORY SO IVE GOT NO IDEA WHICH GUY I WAS REFERRING TO.. curly hair??? black hair??? looked kinda dead inside??? I THINK IT MIGHTVE BEEN W GAGAMARU AND RAICHI.. his hair looked kinda like it hadn’t been washed in weeks ngl
IM HAPPY TO READ YOUR RESPONSES HONESTLY, SUPEPRRR FUN and it feels like im having a genuine one on one convo even if we are like — replying to it like letters or sum LMFAO, guess we going back to the past era for this! BEINNG A HAIRDRESSER FOR 5 YEARS IS SOO COOL?? you’re only 25 now so like — did you pick this job up early on??
i’ve never watched haikyuu but i could see a lot of people felt differently abt blue lock compared to haikyuu, blue lock kinda increases that competitive spirit that’s rare to find in that. team work stuff?
since i felt as if my replies were kinda ass this time, i got news! just watched blue lock episode 11 and good fucking lord this shit was good — yea i was worried about bad animation but shit POPPED OFF.. and rin itoshi :?/!.?.!?! i screamed creamed probably was thinkign with only my metaphorical dick from that point on because good lord i want this man HELP.. it’s been like a year or two(?) since i first saw rin itoshi in the manga but good lord when i saw him animated and even spoke, i felt sum ROARING DOWN THERE … (excuse my language i only think with my lower region!) this awakened sum in mme.. don’t be surprised once i start sending genuine requests and thirsts
since i even joked about this being like a literal letter, maybe i should start signing off like one!!!
from 💌 anon or something LMFAO
NO NO TWO DAYS IS NOTHING I CAN BE AWFUL AT RESPONDING-
-I am so bad at like focusing to respond so trust me no apology needed bc I'm chronically bad at looking at a message and then giving myself anxiety over it. It's something I'm working on 😂😭
Dazai is mildly the odd man out except for the dude with black 'n white hair they're kinda con losers together but I'd say the over arching theme is "they look like they bite...but not really" I have no sense of danger I want the weird looking men no one wants 😂 but no seriously all the fandoms they're from are really good highly recommend Dr Stone and Fire Force if you enjoy Blue Lock. They are *chefs kiss*
do you know how hard it is to keep my twitching fingers on my keyboard to not rant about Ego??? I could do it I could go on and on about this man but- asdfghjkl- I'm controlling myself! mostly bc i don't wanna share my weird husband shhh that's not the point shhh he's my ugly little greenbean
i blame my friend on the niko bullshit!! she went on about how perfectly he'd fit that pervy hentai protagonist who like- steals panties- and cries when he gets caught and all that bullshit?? now I can't unsee it?? he's so stealing panties and putting under his pillow to sleep with only to make up a loud sob story when he gets caught. He's a perv and now I can't unsee it and I hate it 😩
really you have the problem of conflicting timezones?? I'm genuinely surprised bc like- everyone I talk to is like bare minimum in Europe and further over as I sit my lonely self in the United States. Count your blessings bc at least you don't live in the States we're awful 😂 we can be opposite timezone buddies like long drawn out lovers from two forlorn families writing drawn out poetic letters to each other to be sent by snail mail as we try to survive the black plague! or you know...something like pen pals 😂
my peanut brain suffers with subbed I can't look at the animation and take in what they're saying T^T I did it with Jujutsu Kaisen when it came out and can honestly say I don't recall anything I watched bc I was reading subs. RIP this is why I have to read the mangas </3 Oh but Mob is so good!!! It's one of my favorites and my comfort animes I can't tell you how many times I've watched it?? I think like- seven times? Eight times? Easing your way into the list makes Mob Psycho a good starter. But no seriously I cannot stress it enough how much I love Fire Force. Plus cursed knowledge, English dubbed Ego is Fire Forces main character and he is a cinnamon roll of a good boy and a total 180 of Ego's character 😂 Equal parts blessed and cursed when you hear Ego being a good boy
a lot of them look dead inside but dying so hard at gagamaru being put in the dead eye category?? my wife is in love with him so now I'm dying over the dead eye thing 😂 tbh they're so many characters I still have to look back and know who's who
you will find out I can't keep my mouth shut so if you get me talking I will put in that much effort 😂 But actually sweet I'm not 25 I'm 27 (had to double check with my wife I lost track) So the five years of hairdressing isn't too out there but I did pick it up after two yrs of college when I dropped out bc US education system suuuucks. Love hair but covid made people entitled shitheads and didn't want to spend nine hours a day with jackasses to come home to a baby so I just swapped entitled costumers to an entitled baby XD
haikyuu is...cute. like- ok i dont really do slice of life animes and heavily dont do sports anime (haikyuu and blue lock are literally the only ones) but Haikyuu is definitely not the same as Blue Lock. They spend a lot of time explaining how the game works where as Blue Lock its kinda "you know how soccer works or sucks to be you" which I like bc the one thing I do get tired with haikyuu is the over explanation of things. It's a cute show though! I could only watch it once thru but its fun when you haven't watched it before
UGH IM SO WORRIED OVER WHO IS GONNA PLAY RIN I'VE BEEN CHEWING MY NAILS OVER IT- Their casting director has been so good so?? Like?? I know it'll be good but at the same time?? I'm still so worried?? I mean- They convinced me to love Ego even after knowing who his VA was (and what I watched him previously in was NOT anything like his Ego role) but still- Rin's my baby?? Rin's my little bratty temper tantrum baby i wanna smoosh?? He has to be perfect?? More so than anyone else?? Pleading with the casting gods Rin sounds good or I will sob 😭 And I'm like- Have no idea are they doing 12 episode season or a 24 episode season. I need answers T^T
pls send me Rin thirsts I can't shut the fuck up about him
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funky-sea-cryptid · 2 years
Text
chapter 20
OH GODDDDDD
duff is swimming in the lake near his house
HE SWAM IN THAT NASTY ASS RIVER????
he's being a dad for once, sang his kid a birthday song, walked with merideth
mans really said time to be as tender as possible to my family
his son got in a fight to defend his best friend. he wants to know what his dad thinks.
duff says like "praise him for courage, condemn him for fighting." and merideth's like "sounds good."
duff swims out to a rock in the middle of the lake with merideth
"not just any rock, their rock. the rock where their daughter was concieved." THESE LOSERS FUCKED ON A ROCK.
duff is like "finding something after you lost it is so good :)" bestie.
not going to go into the obligatory "jo nesbo ruined macduff" rant this time
compares merideth and caithness to fresh and saltwater respectively
boi.
he has to go back and get ewan's present and "sort out something asap"
HES ENDING THE AFFAIR YEEEEAHH BOYYYY
he finally tells his wife he loves her thank fuck
the police are dropping off the norse riders
one of them yells "all hail macbeth!"
everyone's talking about how the good times are back under macbeth but considering these are norse riders...
duff gets his kid's presents and then goes to talk to caithness in the darkroom
THEY FUCKED IN THE DARKROOM????
DUFF.
PRACTICE. SAFE. SEX.
they also had a hotel spot where they'd book a room under the fake name mittbaum
duff's like "hi caithness :/"
sweno cut off banquo's head and there's old blood on the spine
HE ENDS THE AFFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
caithness is like "you're a bitch and a selfish bastard." yeah you're right girl go on
she says "meet me at the flat at four or else i tell your wife and father in law"
duff's like "my wife knows but SHIT NOT MY DAD IN LAW okay okay im coming."
bestie how will this go ANY WAY BUT BADLY
lady is having a Bad Time and having auditory hallucinations
she feels like macbeth's "parcel" is staring at her. yeah because it's a head
she snorts some of macbeth's drugs.
oh lady this is not going to go well.
the norse riders are having a partyyyyy :)
there's a baby there?
AND SWAT SHOWS UP
duff goes to caithness' house to pick up his shit
he gets his shit
caithness is on the bed in lingere and duff's like "she's so beautiful" oh fuck ME
she wants to top him.
he's like "absolutely not. no i love my wife. i'd forgotten, but i love her. bye"
she's crying
he leaves her jewelry that he bought her - HE BOUGHT HER JEWELRY?
and a tennis racket
he. god.
he goes back in the room and caithness is crying and he's like. okay. one last time
you were so close to being redeemable
SWAT SHOOTS UP THE PLACE
raindrop scene. enough said.
I DONT WANT DETAILS ON DUFF AND CAITHNESS FUCKING
FOR AN HOUR?
apparently seyton's never known real tears
they killed EVERYONE holy FUCK
now they have a job in fife.
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luvring · 2 years
Note
Rime my beloved <333 idk i really like him in a wattpad yn way n it scares me. Like, yeah he's a piece of shit or whatever but he likes me.... yk? It's the mental illness fantasy aha anyway can i get uhhhhh rime hcs. Fluff, angst, what kind of coffee he likes so i can spit in it yk yhe usual 😙 mmmm my mc has a white streak too i bet they'd go up to rime like "you fucking loser i bet its not even real. You used hair dye didnt u? And if it doesnt exist im sure u found some stupid spell just to copy me <3 bitch" what can i say i love bullying him he's like 6' he'll be fine
— general rime hcs
flips my sign that says felix cc to rime cc. i am here and ready O7
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definitely bully him. deserved smh!!
"you think i dyed my hair to copy you? are you an idiot? we didn't even know each other—" "yeah yeah sure. i know you were watching me. you wanna be me so bad, huh? did you think felix would—" "finish that sentence and your blood is going to ruin the carpet." 👁️👁️ hit a nerve there
you don't even need to spit in his drink. literally anything messing with his hot chocolate will be life-threatening. he asks where the marshmallows were and you say you ate them
"you what" "i ate them" "...." "have you heard of the old chubby bunny challenge" "are you fucking—"
he makes a comment about how you're shorter than him and you throw back "yeah well at least i won't die young later—oh wait,"
cue the M3 spitting out their drink, choking, or looking wide-eyed and away from the scene
sorry. not really but sorry i'll bring back my fluff
if anyone else tried to insult or hurt you he's up in arms fr. he's spitting psychologically damaging insults. he is going up, tripping them, then saying "oops. that was a reflex"
if he ever spotted someone following you and making you uncomfortable he would walk up and glare at them
NOOOO MINI FAKE DATING RIME SCENARIO . oh my god
"who the hell are you, asshole?" "who do you think? their boyfriend. so i'd be careful about what you say or do next, asshole."
the person leaves after he grins at them (and probably after seeing him reach for something sharp in his little pouch)
. . .blinks. twirls my hair. pushes it behind my ear. :smirk:
"...so we're dating now?" "you are so irritating." "you have a crush on me" "i'm letting you struggle like a dying fish the next time this happens." (- rime when he lies)
pocky challenge. pocky challenge do the pocky challenge he gets much closer than everyone was expecting just to fluster you. depending on your relationship it will just (d)evolve into kissing
ohh rime getting nightmares about dying or being left alone ohh
he isn't one to crawl into bed and cuddle with you . smth smth terrible at being vulnerable or asking for help
you find him on the couch with a drink in his hand and sit beside him in silence
"didn't take you as someone to miss out on beauty sleep." "can you ever be quiet?" "mm...sometimes. maybe if you wanted to talk about why you're here?"
he won't give you specific details but you get the idea that he had a bad dream
he lets you keep him company while he finishes his drink, and stays there even after he does. it's really his way of letting you know he's ? sort of alright with you ?
he'll leave and tell you you should go back soon "unless you want to look even worse in the morning" (ohh you wanna kiss me so bad)
he makes fun of the others with you . and also other people in general
won't admit it but he likes That era of pop-punk/rock. looped the american beauty/american psycho fob album overnight by accident once probably
if for some miraculous reason he's in an especially good mood, he will let you try his caramel flan. contrary to popular belief and to the detriment of everybody else,, you are the only one who gets to try the flan.
you know when you ask somebody what you should wear and they're like "Whatever you feel the most comfortable in :) you are stunning no matter what :) ily :)"
that is not him. if you want an honest easy answer you go to rime
"should i wear the black one or the red one?" "whatever you'd like mc" "do you want to look like a bitch?" "rime—" "yes." "the red one" My Man 🤝
the kind of person to get more pissed off at an animal dying during a movie than a person . was probably rooting for it out of spite
rime....tattoos? sorry i need. sorry. like on his stomach . patchwork tattoos . sorry
sometimes he'll be doing something mundane and remember a time he was doing it with felix and you can see him frown
heehoo
his sadness and anger are very intertwined . they day he finally has a breakdown he's doing a maniacal laugh while crying out of disbelief and rage
if you hug him after he won't hug back (at first) but he'll press his face into your neck and just . stay there
anyway. he'd make you go on big rollercoasters/rides with him
don't take him to an escape room because he'll make you do all the work until the last minute where he tells you all the solutions that he's been keeping to himself.
spends so much time in CAS (create a sim) . like so much time. he finishes the sims and doesn't even play with them for more than 5 minutes unless he's doing a challenge
no he's so funny. he is the epitome of "my toxic trait is ____" and it's the stupidest shit. you take him to an aquarium and you see a mermaid show and he says "my toxic trait is that i know i could do that" and you're just !@$%?#(! your toxic trait is you commit murder you stupid whore
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