#i’ll take all the baby dust you can send my way because i’m extremely early and i know rn is a very easy time to lose pregnancies
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How to find a dead witch.
Pairing: Slytherin!Ten x Slytherin!female reader.
Genre: Hogwarts!au, best friends to lovers | Fluff, angst.
Warnings: A lot of inaccuracy when it comes to the Harry Potter universe, strong language, use of a curse against the reader, light mention of drugs being sold.
Plot: Ten’s mother left one morning. Something that always bothered him. One day, he found a letter. A clue on what could have happened. He needs to find her, he needs to understand, but for that, he has to be expelled from Hogwarts. Enters his best friend, ready to help him: you.
Word count: +13k.
A/N: This is part of the Of witchcraft and wizardry collab hosted by @danishmiilk.
"Are you aware that you are bothering everyone standing like an idiot in the middle of the fucking hallway?" you ask, and Ten looks up from his charms book. "Are you all right? Is someone threatening your life to the point where you actually have to read what is inside this book?" he stays quiet, so you take the opportunity to speak again. "If you need help, please, blink twice."
"Why are you bothering me?" he asks in a sigh, and you tilt your head to the side.
"I would not be talking to you if I had the choice, but you are pissing everyone off, so me talking to you is what is needed to keep you from being punched in the face by Yuta." you answer. "So you should thank me instead of running your dirty snake tongue."
"You think I care about the other students? That's cute." maybe you should let Yuta punch him in the face, he serves it.
"You clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed, so see you later." you turn on your heels, and you head for the Great Hall for breakfast. As usual, the room is noisy, but you do not mind, after almost seven years, you learnt how to block them.
"Where's Ten?" Yangyang asks as you settle down next to him, and you shrug.
"Standing in the middle of the hallway, reading and being a bitch to anyone who apparently dares to talk to him." the young Slytherin chuckles.
"Yeah, sounds like Ten to me." you take a piece of toast, and you barely have time to bite into it when you feel someone sit next to you.
"Sorry." Ten mumbles, and you know it probably hurts him to say this, and that he is only saying it because he does not want to spend the day alone, but it still feels nice to hear him say that.
"You are not, but it's okay. What is wrong with you? Did something happen? Did someone try to lock you in your trunk again?"
"Oh come on, that was one time, and it was a week after being transferred here." the week Ten officially became an Hogwarts student was extremely funny, because the seventh years tried to see if he really belonged with the snakes, and they realized that he did, but only after a week of light and fun torture. Fun for you, definitely not for him.
"Then what happened? You know you can tell me everything, I'm not one to judge." Ten turns his face towards you, and you can't quite describe the emotion on his face. Dumbfounded, maybe?
"You judge everything, and everyone around you! That's why I never tell you anything." well, that hurts, but you do not say it out loud, instead, you sip on your cup of pumpkin juice.
"It's too early to force you to talk with a spell, Ten, so you should do it, and right now." the young man sighs, and you hear a giggle beside you. Yangyang is watching you, and he is having a great time. You do not know why, but the second year took a liking to the both of you, maybe because you have no idea what you are doing, and he can relate? Or because you are actually nice on good days? Eh, you don’t know, and you do not mind one bit, he is cute. And he knows how to sneak into the kitchen to bring snacks.
"I found something strange in my room when I woke up," he starts, and you turn on the wooden bench to face him. "it was a letter I've never seen before." you shrug, it is not unusual to find letters in the morning if one's owl did not have time to bring them mail the day before. "Before you start telling me I am being dramatic, hear me out."
You hate how long he takes to open his mouth again, does he want to create suspense? Because you hate suspense, you do not need it, you need to know, and right now! "This is not just a simple letter, it's..." he takes a deep breath and you have to physically restrain yourself from slapping him. "it's a letter from my mother, she wrote it when she was pregnant with me."
"How is that possible? Didn't you say she left without leaving any of her stuff behind?" he nods.
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking! She took absolutely everything that belonged to her, and how come one of the letters ended up in my room, here, in Hogwarts?" this is weird, you think.
"Do you think your father could have sent it to you? Maybe he found it, and thought it could make you happy to have something from her, even if it's just a letter?" he shakes his head, playing with his toast.
"He found a picture of her once, and he immediately threw it in the fireplace, so I don’t think he would have sent it to me."
"Did you read it?" you ask, and he takes the letter our of the charms book he was reading in the hallway earlier. Now you understand that he was reading the letter, not the book. "A few times." he answers, and you look up when you hear noises around you.
"It's time to go to class."
"I don't feel like going." he mumbles, and honestly, you don’t feel like going either, so you look around. You stand up when you find one of the slytherin in your year, and you smile sweetly.
"Hi, could you do me a favor?" you ask, and the young man flushes at the sudden attention.
"Y-yes?"
"Could you tell profession Kim that Ten and I are not feeling well? That we'll catch up on the class tomorrow, please?" he frowns, and you put your hand on his shoulder. "If you do it, and make it believable, of course, I'll go on that library date you asked me for a few months ago."
The way his eyes open wide is funny, but you do not laugh, he is already ready to tell you to fuck off, you don’t need to ruin your chance. "Alright, I'll tell him." you lean in, and you kiss his cheek.
"You are the best, I'll owe you one, I promise." when he starts talking about the date, you turn on your heels to join Ten again.
"Let's go back to the common room." you say, and he does not ask question, he knows better than to do that.
The refreshing smell of mind invades your senses as soon as you step inside the common room, and you smile. You never thought you would feel at home in Hogwarts, but you were wrong, you do feel at home when you are in the common room, when the fire crackles in the fireplace.
You sit on the armchair, and Ten slumps down on the old leather couch, the letter clutched to his chest. "So, tell me about the letter." you say, and he inhales, coughing because of the cloud of dust coming from the couch each time he moves.
"My love," he starts to read out loud. "the nurse told me the baby was a boy, can you imagine? A little boy is growing inside of me, our little boy. I feel sad knowing you will not be there to see him grow as beautiful and as strong as you. To be honest with you, I do not think I will be able to do that either, do not ask me why, I have a bad feeling."
He stops to catch his breath, and you hear how it hitches in his throat. "I wish the situation was different. I wish I was with you. I wish you could see our little boy. I wish so many things, and unfortunately, I know it is impossible. If I ever miss our monthly letter, please, look for me. If I ever miss our monthly letter, it means he did it, he finally acted on his thoughts. Tenderly, your love."
You straighten up on the armchair, eyes narrowed. "What the fuck?" that's not what Ten wanted to hear, but he takes it. This is what he thought after reading it for the first time. "So, if I understand everything corretly, your father is not your father, and your not-so-father could be the reason your mother left?"
"The reason my mother disappeared." Ten corrects, and you hum. That's a lot to take in, and you understand why he was so distraught this morning. You would be too, if you were in his situation. You do not even want to think about how he might feel inside. His head is probably such a mess, a mess you'll never be able to comprehend.
"If your mother disappeared, don't you think your father would have thrown away or burnt every little thing? Finding this letter doesn’t make any sense, maybe she really left, for her safety?" Ten shakes his head, he tried to think about all of the possiblities, but nothing seems plausible.
"If she was scared for her safety, she should have taken me with her!" he exclaims. "This guy she was sending letters to was my biological father, she wanted him to be with us, to see me grow, so if she left, she should have taken me because if she did leave, it was to find him." he stands up, and you follow him around the common room with your eyes.
"Maybe she didn’t have time? Maybe she had to leave suddenly?"
"I don't fucking know!" he yells, and you wince when he throws the letter in the fireplace. The paper turns into ashes right away, and you know he is going to regret this. "I don't fucking care either." he goes up the stairs to his room, mumbling something between clenched teeth, and you feel bad for him, you feel bad because he is your best friend, you are supposed to help him, and yet, you are useless.
You stand up, and you gather the ashes of the letter, and with a quick movement of your wand, the letter is back to what it used to be. Parchment damaged by the years, beautiful handwriting, and so much more to discover.
"Why do you look live you've just seen a ghost?" you ask when Ten enters the common room. "You know Peeves can't actually hurt you, right?" he pushes your legs out of the couch and he sits down, the poor boy looks so lost in his thought, you nudge him hard enough for him to whine and turn his head.
"Peeves is a little shit, I want to kick his poor poltergesist's ass." he mumbles and you chuckle, you want that too. "My wand is acting strange, I almost jinxed myself earlier!" you shake your head.
"What were you trying to jinx, you absolut idiot? You know we can't use jinx in the school!"
"That is not the most important! What is important is that my wand seems to want to run away from me!" you bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from laughing.
"Did you take something from Johnny? You know it is bad for your health, the guy doesn’t know what he is doing, or selling for that matter, he just wants some money for Hogsmeade."
"Why are you always jumping to the dumbest conclusions? Oh my god, why am I even friend with you!" he says in the most dramatic way he can musters.
"I am your only friend, so it's not like you have much of a choice here, so suck it up."
"I'm serious, my wand is trying to fucking run away from me!" he takes his wand out of his robe, and he puts it on the coffee table. Right away, the wand falls down to the ground, and you put it on some air flow coming from the frame, but it starts to move farther away from them.
"What the fuck?"
"Are you sure you did not try to piss off Peeves? Maybe he is possessing your wand or some shit!" you do not see any other explanation, to be honest. But can poltergeists even possess wands?
"I didn't do anything! It's just been acting like that ever since I woke up this morning."
"Maybe we should follow it?" you propose, and he things about it.
"We are going to look stupid if we follow a want around, don't you think?" yes, he is not wrong.
"If you hold it, does it try to lead you somewhere? Like push you to walk?" he shrugs but he stands up to grab the wand.
At first, nothing happens, but then, he has the weird impression of being projected towards the frame. "I guess it does." you stand up too, you are not going to let Ten wander in the castle without you. The frame opens, and he keeps walking where the wand is pulling him.
"That's so fucking weird." you whisper, following him closely and he shakes his head.
"Everything been weird ever since I found that letter." yes, the letter. The letter you have been hiding inside of your trunk ever since he tried to burn it, but you do not really think about it, you don’t want to think about the reaction Ten would have if he knew.
"Hey guys, what are you doing?" Yangyang asks, stopping in the middle of the staircase, and you both shrug.
"Following a possessed wand around, nothing crazy." he giggles, but he stops when he sees the wand in Ten's hands move around.
"Can I come? I'm supposed to join Hendery and Dejun in the library to study, but I don't feel like it."
You and Ten share a look, and you both shrug. "Yeah, sure." he squeals with delight at the idea of having a reason to forget about his homework, and he follows you. If he is normally really loud and giggly, this time, he is quite calm, maybe because he understood the tension in between Ten and you. He knowns something is going on.
"What is in this room?" Yangyang asks when you stop in front of a door, and you heave a sigh.
"Nothing. A potion accident happened a few years ago, and it was never used again. Something about fumes they could not get rid of even with magic." if the professors refuse to use this room, this is probably not safe for you to enter.
"Alohomora." you say, your own wand pointed to the lock that opens right away. Well, that was not so hard, which could be dangerous in case wizards would like to hook up somewhere. The room is bathed in sunlight, so it is not hard to see what is inside.
A few tables and chairs are pushed on one side, a weird-looking stain on the ground and on the ceiling, and dust. A lot of dust, to the point whre it becomes hard to breathe inside. "So, what are we looking for?" Yangyang cloes his mouth to avoid swallowing too much dust, and he looks around him. There is nothing out of the ordinary.
You walk in the old classroom, and...oh! "I think that's what we are looking for." from under one of the desks, you pull a letter. You were expecting to see the same pretty handwritting on the old parchment, but no, the writing is more rough, and the ink is bleeding on the paper, maybe from tears, or rain.
"What does it say?" Ten asks, and you did not think he would trust you enough to read a letter that is clearly intented for him before having a loot at it himself.
"Ew!" you almost gag when you see a lock of hair attached to the letter. The hair is black, the same shade of black as Ten's hair used to be before he found the spell to turn it blonde. "That is disgusting, who would attach hair to a fucking letter!"
"I think I know why." Ten says, and he lets himself slide down one of the walls, to the ground and you keep yourself from gaggin again. The floor is dirty to the point where it is impossible to see the color of the carpet underneath. "My mother was a veela."
Yeah, that does not answer your question in the slightest, but he opens his mouth again, so you close yours. "There is a lock of my mother's hair in my wand, just like there is horned serpent horn in your wand, which is why my wand was attracted to this room, because this is a lock of my mother's hair. It needed to find its other half."
That makes a lot of sense, and more than for the wand, or why they are here. That explains why Ten's face looks unreal. "I thought they stopped putting veela's hair in wands because it was unstable?" Yangyang asks, head tilted to the side. His eyes shine with excitement and it is adorable.
"My mother personally asked for it, and paid the price for it to be done."
"Do you think she did it on purpose? For you to have a way to find her when time comes?" he did not think about it this way, but that could be possible.
"Read the letter, maybe we'll know more about it."
"My love, I wish I could ask for this letter to find you in good health, and surrounded by love and happiness, but I know this is not the case, and I am truly sorry. I will keep the lock of your hair like my most precious possession, and use it when you will deem it right. Even though I hope I will never have to use it. My heart hurts just thinking about using it, the possibilities behind the use it will have. Kiss our beautiful boy for me, tell him his father loves him and can't wait to meet him. I love you."
Before Ten can react, Yangyang raises his hand to stop him, and he speaks so quick you have to ask him to repeat more calmly this time. "If Ten's mother gave this man a lock of her hair for you to find the letter with your wand, maybe you could find her with your wand too?"
That's actually a good idea, and it is actually the first time you saw him so serious about something he does not really know anything about, just what he heard today. "And how am I supposed to do that? My mother is not hiding in the castle for all I know!"
"You could wait for the school break, but your father is not going to let you leave the house." you mutter and he nods. You know his father, and he is weirdly protective over his son. There is the regular protective parents, like yours, and then you have Ten's father, and his step-mother. They are protective to the point where it becomes weird, and a tad unhealthy.
"Leave while we are in Hogsmeade this weekend?" Yangyang asks, and you both shake your heads. "Ten's father didn’t sign the papers for him to go to Hogsmeade." the younger wizard gasps, a hand on his mouth.
"What? Why? Man, your father is weird."
"Maybe because he is not my biological father." he has a point.
"Get expelled, like that you can go and look for your mother, or for this guy. Maybe he has another lock of hair, and is waiting for you, who knows!" Ten puts his head in between his hands, and he sighs.
"How the fuck am I supposed to get expelled from Hogwarts of all places?"
"That's not hard, I can help you with that." Yangyang puffs up his chest with pride, and Ten laughs softly. At least he looks like he is relaxing. "No, but for real, the headmistress threatened to kick me out so many times since I arrived in Hogwarts, I'm pretty sure I can help you with that."
"You better not get in trouble because of that. You can't get kicked out, or I'm kicking your ass, alright?" Ten asks, and of course, Yangyang nods. The smile on his face is so bright that you can't help but to smile too. "And you," Ten starts, looking at you. "you are not doing anything stupid, before, or after I'm gone, alright? I can't lose my place in this school, and you."
You laugh, head thrown back. "Bold of you to assume I'm not coming with you."
"You are not coming with me, and that's final!" Ten exclaims as he pushes the door to the great hall open and you heave yet another sigh.
"I do not remember asking for your opinion. I am your best friend, of course I'm coming with you!" you sit down around the table, and Ten takes the spot in front of you. You are far away from the other students to be able to talk freely.
"This is my mother, Y/n, I have to do it alone." you pick an apple, and you shrug.
"I know that, Ten, but you can't do it alone. You will eventually need help. And what are you going to do if you can't find anything? You'll need me to figure things out, so I am coming, and you can't say no."
"A portable swamp!"
Yangyang puts a device on the table, and you jump because you were not expecting anyone to be behind you. "What is that?" Ten asks, at the same time as you. "Where did you get that?" Yangyang flops down on the bench, and there is so much mischief in his eyes that you fear for his answer.
"I bought it in Diagon Alley before the year started, but I never came around to use it, so I thought it would be useful for your little situation." he explains briefly, and you take it in your hand with caution, you do not want to set it up in the middle of the great hall.
"What does it do?"
"Like the name says, it is a portable swamp! Activate it, and it creates a swamp." you don’t even bother asking why he thought it could be a good idea to buy this kind of stuff. You are not even sure it is legal for him to have it here. "Do it in a classroom! I heard it is impossible to clean with magic, so it'll take a while to clean out."
"Do I dare to ask what you were planning on doing with this?" Ten asks, narrowing his eyes and the young wizard shrugs.
"I didn’t have a precise plan, I just thought it could be a good idea to use during class, or to make the library impossible to access for a while. Maybe destroy a couple of my books inside."
"We can try it out." Ten says, and Yangyang is beaming, even though he will not be able to see the damage of his little toy, but it is alright, he knows he'll hear about it.
"If it works well, you can just buy another one next time you'll go to Diagon Alley, you know." so he is talking about a payment, and honestly, that's only fair.
"Will do kid, thank you."
Two hours later, you find yourself in the potions' room, sitting in front of Ten. "Are we really doing this?" you ask Ten above the fumes coming out of the cauldron.
"I guess so?" he is not sure this is worth it, but he has nothing to lose trying. Well, he does have something to lose, his place here at Hogwarts.
"Did Yangyang explain how to use it?"
Ten shakes his head, that's what you thought. So he just drops it to the floor, under the table, and when nothing happens, he kicks it hard enough for the devide to activate. "Oh, shit!" the result is immediate. The floor is flooded with dark and dirty water, mud, grass, and some nasty-looking objects and dead animals. You put your feet on the stool to avoid stepping on it.
"What's that smell?" someone asks, and yes, it does smell strong. It smells like a fucking swamp, and you feel bile going up your throat. Ten is no better, he pinches his nose with his fingers and his eyes are filled with tears. This is absolutely disgusting.
"What happened?" the professor asks when he notices that he is wading in dirty water.
"Uh, I don't know, I think something went wrong with our potion." Ten says sheepishly and you look around. Most of the Slytherin are on the tables, making disgusted noise, but they do not have the reaction you thought they would have, even the teacher seems relaxed.
"I asked for a wound-cleaning potion, not a swamp."
You share a look of disbelief at the reaction. This is not how you are going to get expelled, you think as the professor helps the students out of the classroom one after the other. "It's fine, don’t worry, I'll clean it, I have mastered the spell to clean a swamp. You can all thank mister Lee, because class is over." a few Slytherins pat his back on their way out of the hallway, and he whines high in his throat when you are alone.
"That was a fail. Yangyang is going to be disappointed, we wasted his toy for nothing." you can't get rid of the smell of the swamp, and it look like it clinges to your clothes and you hate it. "I need a shower, I feel dirty, and I'm pretty sure worms are in my shoes." he grimaces at the thought, but he starts to squirm.
"Shut up, I can feel them now!"
"What the fuck are you doing here?" you ask when you step out of the girls' bathroom. Ten is on the floor, back against the wall, and he looks rather annoyed.
"What took you so long? I've been here for thirty minutes!" he stands up, dusting his robe.
"It took me forever to stop smelling that stupid swamp."
"I saw Yangyang, he is disappointed that his toy did not work, or at least did not create chaos like he was expecting, so he is looking for another idea." you fear what he might come up with.
"Do you have an idea on what to do next?"
"He did propose something," Ten starts and you follow him. "he said we should make out after curfew in the quidditch field." you heave a long sigh, why were you expecting a real idea from Yangyang, but he is not wrong. Being outside of the castle after curfew is wrong, and making out with someone when it is forbidden? That could work to give you detention, not to get you expelled.
"That's not extra enough, our asses are just going to stay in detention for the weekend." you mumble, and he agrees but then he turns his head to watch you.
"But you are not saying no to make out with me in the quidditch field?" you push him hard enough for his shoulder to hit the wall and he scowls. "What was that for?"
"I rather drink some of the swamp water than kiss your dirty snake mouth." you answer and he rolls his eyes, but he is smirking like the little shit he is.
"Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night I guess."
Alright, you are not blind, you know Ten is gorgeous and that he has beautiful lips that would be nice to kiss, but still, he is your best friend, and you do not spend hours thinking about how it would feel to kiss him, to run your fingers through his hair. No. Never happened, and will never happen.
"So, what are we doing?"
Getting expelled sounded so easy when Yangyang mentioned it, but now that you are actually trying, it is way harder. Because the professors know you, they know you are not the kind to get in trouble, or to do weird shit, so they always try to find an excuse for your behavior, and each time, you try something else, you slip through the cracks.
A month passed by, and nothing happened.
Ten found a few more letters between his mother and his biological father, but nothing else. He did find a ribbon once, a green one, like the ones she liked to wear in her hair when he was young, but it could have belonged to anyone in the school, but he kept it around his wrist just in case. Even if it is not hers, it gives him something that is not paper to feel closer to his mother.
"We can't go on like this forever." you say, and Ten agrees. It is tiring to come up with plans, and even Yangyang looks even more defeated each day. The poor boy spends more time thinking about ways for you to get expelled than he spends on his own homework, not that he minds, but you do, you do not want him to ruin his year because of you.
"I brought some backup!" Yangyang says, and this time he is not alone, he is with his friends. Haechan, another Slytherin, and Hendery, a Gryffindor.
"Where is Dejun?" you ask, it is rare to see Yangyang without his third friend, and yet.
"He is studying, and he wants nothing to do with what we are doing."
"And you do?" Ten asks Hendery. If Haechan was on board to help them, because he is a sneaky Slytherin, he was not expecting a Gryffindor to help them. Even if friendship is possible between the two houses, there are still some tension remaining between them. And Gryffindors are not the kind to get into trouble, especially for Slytherins.
"Yeah, I'm bored."
"This time, you are sure to get expelled." Yangyang starts to say, in a low voice. He doesn’t want the students around to hear him and if they are outside.
"Then speak, idiot!" Ten exclaims, and you did notice how quick he is to lose his temper lately, but you don’t say anything, you would do the same if you were in a similar situation.
"Calm down, little snake, I'm going to." Ten is close to punch him, you see it, so you grab his hand in yours, and squeeze it gently. "Ten, you'll have to hurt Y/n." you both open your eyes wide, shaking your head.
"What?"
"Hear me out. You don’t have to hurt her badly, just throw a little spell that will send her to the infirmary. You will be expelled right away because it is forbidden to attack another student. But before, you will have to pretend to fight, or the headmistress is not going to believe any of it."
"Yeah, and I'll be stuck in the infirmary while Ten will be outside, that's not what we want." yes, because after some time, Ten accepted that you were coming with him no matter if he wants it or not.
"Yes, but that's when we come. We'll make the infirmary impossible to be used, so they'll have no choice but to send you to St Mungo's because even if it's an innocent spell, they have to get you checked out by a doctor."
"Ten will be back in London in no time, he'll leave his home at night, and he'll go to St Mungo. Of course, he won't be inside, because he'll be suspicious, but you, Y/n, will have to leave during the night to join him, without being caught, and then, you'll be free to go look for your mother."
"That's a good plan." you concede, and Yangyang nods.
"We thought about it for a very long time, and with how much the professors love you both, it is honestly the only way for you to get expelled." you turn to face Ten, and he nods.
"Let's do it, I guess."
The boys high five, and you roll your eyes. "We have to fight now." that's not going to be hard, as you love to bicker for fun, it'll be easily believable. "And you have to help us out," you say to the three boys. "be there when we fight, try to calm things down, try to keep up from jumping at each other's throats, act like we constantly fight even in the common room."
Haechan smiles. "That we can do, trust us."
Ten and you never had any kind of fight, you do bicker but that's about it, but you are surprised to see how easy it is for the both of you to actually fight. Even if it is not real, it comes easy, and it is actually scary.
"You are such a fucking bitch!" Ten yells, and he feels all of the students' eyes on him as soon as he closes his mouth. "You thought I would not find out that you've been playing with me this whole time?" Ten scoffs, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek so as not to laugh.
"I mean, you are kind of slow when it comes to things like that, so yes, that's what I thought." you answer, and you see the way he squeezes his fists. "It was so easy to make you believe everything, that I wonder if you did it on purpose or not."
You lock eyes with Yangyang on the side, and his cheeks are bright red because he is trying so hard not to laugh either. And also because he tries to find a sense of what is happening, and the truth is, you did not rehearse the argument, so there is no sense at all.
"Are you calling me dumb?" Ten asks, and you nod, smiling softly.
"If you have to ask that, then what I'm saying is right!" you throw your head back, and you laugh, which seems to be enough for Ten who takes a few steps forwards.
"You'll see what the dumb wizard is going to do to you!"
That was the less treatening sentence you have ever heard, and yet, Yangyang and Hendery are the firsts to stand up and to block Ten. "What are you doing? Move!" Ten yells, and Yangyang has to make it believable, so he takes a step back, raising his hands.
"Eh, I don't want to do anything, but you do not want to fight with her, come on, that's stupid."
"Stupid, that's also a word that would work well to describe Ten." You say to Hendery who is facing you, you are acting like Ten is not here, can't hear you, and it is almost amusing. You hear a few "ohhh" around, and you know it's coming from your fellow Slytherin.
"I'm going to fucking punch you if you keep talking, you bitch!"
"Go ahead, I can't wait." you answer, and you see him looking inside of his robe, and when he takes his wand out, the laughs stop immediately. "Oh, what are you going to do? Jinx me? Can you even do that?" he raises his wand, but someone stands up, and gets in between the two of you.
Yuta, another Slytherin, faces Ten with a frown. "Come on big boy, you don't want to get in trouble, over a stupid fight with your best friend, don't you?" alright, Ten is ready to do a lot to get expelled, but he does not want to have his ass beaten by someone like Yuta.
"She fucking deserves it!"
"Maybe she does, maybe she does not, who knows. Come on, put that wand down and go take a breather outside." Ten heaves a long sidh, and he puts his wand back into his robe before turning on his heels to leave the great hall.
"Go on, coward!" you say in a loud voice to be sure he hears you even outside of the room.
"Coward, for real?" Yuta asks when he turns to look at you, head cocked to the side.
"I'm just saying the truth, don't blame me." you mumble, and when all of the students start going back to their occupations, you leave the great hall too.
"Don't go bother him right now, I can't protect you everywhere." Yuta says, and you nod.
You are sitting in front of the fireplace when you hear footsteps behind you. "That was a mess." Ten says as he drops down next to you and you chuckle.
"Yeah, maybe we should have rehearsed before or something, because I don't think anyone believed in our little dispute."
"The less sense it makes, the more believable it becomes." he answers, and you roll your eyes, and he puts his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes. "This is tiring." his voice breaks your heart, and you understand even though it must be even more tiring for him. The letters and his mother always on his mind.
"I know it is, but it'll be worth it in the end." you say in a small voice, and the young man straightens up.
"You don't know that, maybe it won't be worth it. What if I don't find her, or my biological father, then it'll be a waste of time, and nothing else." you shake your head, turning to face him.
"We are going to find something, I promise you. We are going to find answers, and we will make everything we did worth it. And then I'll help you come back to school, finish the year and succeed on your exams. I'm here, no matter what happens, we are in this together."
"Do you promise?" he asks, and you tilt your head, confused. "Do you promise to still be there, no matter what happens?" this is the first time you've ever seen him so vulnerable, and it hurts. But it also shows that he trusts you enough to show a side of himself that you did not know existed.
"I promise you, Ten. It's you and me against everyone else."
He does not know why he opens his mouth, and he asks. “Can I kiss you?” when you nod, he leans over and he puts his lips against yours. He did not think before asking, he just felt like it, like he needed it. He half expects you to push him away and laugh at him, but instead, you put your hands on his cheeks, and you kiss him back.
The kiss is gentle, and soft, nothing is rushed and it feels right.
Today is the day.
You and Ten spent the last two weeks constantly fighting. Some fights looked harmless, some looked more dangerous. Every time, a student had to stand in between to keep you from destroying each other. Threats were being throws each time, every time a little bit more serious threats, and jinxes close to being thrown too.
When you are walking around the school, you ignore each other, you throw each other glances that could kill and curse at each other during classes. It is now impossible for anyone to not believe that something is actually going on.
Which means, it is the perfect time to act on your plan.
"Did you think of a spell?" Yangyang asks, trying to keep up with Ten's fast walk.
"Yes, I even practiced to be sure I won't be making a fool of myself. What about the infirmary?" Yangyang's walk is light, and he looks so excited to finally put one of his many tricks into action.
"Do not worry, it'll only take a couple of minutes to make it impossible to enter. But for that, I need you to tell me how long it'll take you to attack her, so we can do it while the nurse is gone."
"I don't know Yangyang, a couple of minutes? Why don't you stay with us, and when I attack her, you can be the one running to get the nurse so you don't have to worry about the timeframe to mess up the room?"
Yangyang's smile is even brighter now. "That's a good idea!"
When he enters the great hall, he is scared. His hands are sweating, and shaking to the point where he wonders if he will be able to use his wand the right way. What if he messes up and send the spell on another student? What if he actually hurts you more than what was intented?
"Wait, wait, wait." he grabs Yangyang's hand, and the boy gasps when he is pulled away from the great hall. "I can't do it. I can't hurt her. What if it goes wrong?"
Yangyang sighs, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It'll not go wrong, and you are not going to hurt her. You like her too much to hurt her, even if you think you are going to mess it up, your heart is not going to let you do it."
"I'm blaming you if something bad happens." he mumbles as he goes back inside the great hall. You stood up when you saw them enter, and you started to wonder if the plan was cancelled when Ten rushed out of the room, but when he comes back, he looks more determined which is pretty scary.
"You bitch, I know you took it!" he suddenly yells, and you try to look annoyed. And you could be if you were really fighting, because his voice can be a tad annoying when he is yelling.
"What are you on about?" he takes a few steps forwards, and you stay still. You are starting to hate the attention the other students are giving you each time to pretend to fight, but you know it is what is needed if you want the headmistress to kick Ten out.
"You know what I'm talking about! You came into my room and you took it! You fucking thief!" you laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.
"Oh, are you talking about that little love letter you got the other day? Are you sad that you don't have it? You can't fall asleep without reading the lies written inside? Poor little wizard."
"That's it, I'm so fucking done with your bullshit." he takes out his wand, and you take yours. You have no idea what is going to hit you, and in a way, you are grateful for that, because if you knew, you would have chickened out or tried to avoid it.
"What are you going to do? You can't even use spells properly in class, and you want to do it here, in front of everyone? Over a fucking love letter? That is pathetic, even from you."
"Flagrante!" he says, and the spell hits you right in the chest. Because of the speed of the spell, you did not have time to think about what the spell was, or what it was going to cause, but you understand pretty quickly.
The wand in your hand starts to burn to the point where you have to drop it to the ground, a sob leaving your lips. "It burns!" you have the imprint of the wand on the palm of your hand, and even thought the wand is on the ground, it keeps fucking burning. Putting your hand in the fireplace would probably feel the same.
But it does not stop here, everything starts to burn. Your clothes feels like they are on fire, and you drop to the ground, peeling your robe off. "Go get the nurse!" someone yells, and of course, Yangyang runs at full speed towards the infirmary.
Ten hates the scene that plays in front of his eyes, he wants to help, but when he tries to take a step towards you, someone stops him. "You are not going anywhere, you have done enough damages!" the voice says through clenched teeth. Yuta. Again.
From where he is standing, he sees tears rolling down your cheeks, and he wishes he never had done this. He could have picked another spell, something better that would have caused a lot less harm. He could have used something to make you fall, or something, but no, he was dumb and picked a fucking burning spell.
A couple of people help you, but you squrim so much on the ground that it is almost impossible for them to ease the pain. But fortunately enough, the nurse arrives and she finds a way to stop the curse to burn you further. "Bring him to the headmistress, this is unacceptable!" she says as she gets out of the great hall with you.
Of course, it is a pleasure for Yuta to force Ten out of the great hall and to the headmistress"s office, and you are sad you will not be able to see what is going on. But that would be useless, and you can't seem to think about anything else than the heat radiating from your body. The burning sensation is mostly gone, and the nurse tries to reassure you, saying you will not have any burn marks, which is good.
But she stops in the middle of her sentence when she sees the door to the infirmary laying on the ground. "On Merlin's beard!" when you look up, your breath hitches in your throat. The room is a mess. The beds are thrown out, the mattresses are ripped open and the floor is filled with...with frogs?
"I can't do my work in these conditions!" she exclaims, helping you against the wall to see if anything can be done, but when she tries to step inside, an invisible barrier keeps her from entering. "That is not good. I can clean, but I can't force a protective barrier. If I catch the rascals who did that!"
"Alright, you still need to be checked out by a doctor, so I'm going to send you to St Mungo, alright?" you do nothing but nod, it is not like you have a say in this. "Come on, just a few more steps and it'll be all over."
You do not know how, but when you open your eyes, you are in a bed, in a white room. You are in St Mungo's hospital. You do not remember how you got here, and when you turn your head, you are surprised to find the nurse sitting on a chair, close to your bed.
"Y/n, welcome back. You passed out, and been asleep for over three hours." you straighten up but wince at the pain. It's not a sharp pain, not even a burning one, but it is uncomfortable, your skin feels tight and still warm to the touch, like a really bad sunburn.
"What happened?" you ask, feigning igorance, and the nurse stands up after checking her watch.
"Mister Lee attacked you with the flagrante spell, which causes objects to burn. Your wand, and your clothes too." you hum, rubbing your eyes with the palm of your hands.
"What happened to him?" she heaves a long sigh.
"I went back to the school while you were asleep, and the headmistress told me she had no choice but to expel him. What he did was wrong, and he could have hurt a lot more people around." you frown.
"Is he going to get in trouble?" she shakes her head, taking her cape from the back of the chair.
"The headmistress knows it is bad to use magic outside of class, especially to attack another student, but she decided to only expel him. It's enough of a punishement."
You try not to look too relaxed, because for a second, you thought he would get in trouble with the ministry of magic or something. "You should rest. The doctor will check on you in the morning, and if you feel better, they'll send you back to Hogwarts. Come see me when you are back, I'll give you something if the pain remains." you nod, and you look the nurse as she leaves the bedroom.
Now, you wait.
When you open your eyes, it is still dark outside, and for a second, you wonder why you woke up. But then, you find the source of the sound coming to your ears.
You turn your head, and you see a paper bird tapping against the glass with its paper snout so you stand up, trying to ignore the soreness in your legs and you walk to the window. You open it as much as you can, and you lean over the edge and smile when you see Ten.
He is not wearing his uniform, but casual clothes, and he looks rather pretty without so much green. He even wears glasses. He can blend in with the crowd without any problem, you think. "I'm coming." you say, and he nods. Fortunately, you are only on the second floor, which means you do not have to yell to be heard, and you do not need to attract the attention of the night nurses.
You uniform is neatly placed on the back of a chair, but you know you will get caught if you wear it outside. You have to find something. You grab the white shirt that you pull over the weird gown you are wearing, and you open the door to look around. The hallway is dark and silent, but you can hear hushed conversation further away.
You take a deep breath, and you get out of the room to walk through the hallway. The tiles are cold under your feet, and you feel a shiver goes up your spine, which only makes the slight pain worse. "Bingo!" you whisper-yell when you find the resting room. Maybe you can find something there.
The door is obviously open, and you stop dead in your tracks when you hear the regular breathing of a sleeping nurse. There is enough light coming in the room for you to see your surroundings, and a bag laying near the bed. You do not have your wand, so you have no choice than to step inside, and tip-toe your way to the bag.
You crouch down, and you open the zipper, tooth after tooth, to make the less noise possible. When it is open, you listen but the nurse is still soundly sleeping. You only need a pants, and you find a pair of sweatpant. You stand up, get rid of the shirt and the gown, and put the clothes back on, leaving the gown inside the bad that you leave open.
Before leaving the room, you grab your pair of shoes that you left by the door, it is ridiculous, but it's better than nothing. All you need right now is to join Ten. And maybe punch him, you have not decided yet.
You don’t know if it's luck, or someone watching over you, but you don’t meet anyone on your way to the hospital's sliding doors. It opens in front of you, and soon enough, you find yourself outside and you almost want to cry when you feel the cold wind against your heated cheeks.
"Y/n!"
You turn and you see him, you see Ten and you walk to him. Before he can open his mouth, you hit his chest multiple times. "What the fuck was that spell? It hurts so bad!" you say, but your voice is way softer than the punches.
"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't think the spell would attack your clothes too, I wouldn't have done it otherwise!"
"I don't like you very much right now, but I have to ask, how did it go with your father?"
Ten pouts, and he grabs your hand to hide behind the building when he hears voices, they can't stay here for too long because they'll go and look for you as soon as they'll notice you are gone. "He is travelling, so my step-mother came. She promised to not tell him before he came back."
"Does she know you left?" he shakes his head, lacing his fingers with yours when you do not do anything to free yourself.
"No, I left as soon as she fell asleep." you hum, yeah, if he can't trust his father, who knows if he should trust his step-mother, she could be involved with his mother's disappearance for all they know.
"We should get going before someone catches us." he finally says, and you nod. You don’t know where you are going but you follow him, you trust him. At least you think you do.
"Do you have an idea of where we are supposed to go?" you ask, and he stops when you are far enough from St Mungo's.
"One of the letters for my biological father had an address on the envelope. The address was illegible, but it was in London." you scoff, and he looks away, the shadow of a smile on his face. "London has what, 9 million inhabitants? Yeah, this is going to be a piece of cake!"
"Don't be like that, at least we know where to look for, and we won't have to apparate." that's true, because you are not experienced enough, and you do not feel like losing a limb. "Do you have your wand with you?" he takes the wand out of the back pocket of his pants.
"Of course, and oh, I got yours from the headmistress office before leaving." he takes the wand out of the other pocket, and you take it.
"You are the best, thank you."
"I know, I know." you nudge him, and he waits for the wand to reacts, but nothing happens.
"It's tired to having to lead you around." you mumbles, and he sighs.
"I've been using it too much, or my mother is not around."
"Tell you what, until we find something concrete, we are going to think positively! Negativity is not going to lead us anywhere." he says something but a car passes and it is impossible for you to hear him, but it must not be important or he would have said it again. "Let's try to walk."
And that's how you find yourself walking around London at 4 in the morning. It is not bad, you think. You have never been in London so late with no one around, not a soul, and not a sound. It is weird, but it's also kind of pleasant.
"How are you feeling?" Ten asks after an hour long of comfortable silence between.
"Tired, hungry, cold." you answer and he chuckles.
"Yeah, I guessed as much, let's stop for a minute." he finds a bench down the street, and you sit down, covering your mouth when you yawn.
Ten take his backpack off, and he takes off a bunch of snacks that he puts on the bench in between them. "I thought about it! I also took some money from my father, so we'll buy some stuff tomorrow when the stores open." what's good about being in London, is that there is no way an amber alert will be broadcasted for either of them, because they'll have to explain that one left an hospital the muggles do not know about, and that the other one left after being expelled from some weird boarding school they never heard of.
You hope so at least.
Even though you should get going before the sun rises, you both need a break. To let your bodies rest, as much as your minds. Because even if you are thinking about Ten's mother, you are also thinking about the consequences of your acts even if you do not voice it. You can't help but to think of the disappointment your parents are going to feel when they learn about everything.
But like you said a few weeks ago, it's Ten and you against everyone else. You promised to be there, and you will keep your promise, no matter what happens. You will become an hermit if your parents decide to disown you.
"People are coming our way, we should get going." you hear Ten whispers close to your ear, and you nod. You stand up, and you help Ten puts everything back in his backpack, and he lets a little scream when he feels the wand move in his hand. "Yes, finally!"
"We must be close." you start walking again, and this time, you don't walk aimlessly, you are leaded somewhere. Hopefully not into a trap, because that would suck.
"If we only find your biological father, do you know what you are going to tell him?"
Ten remains silent for a while, probably thinking about it. "I don't really know, I guess I'll introduce myself, and ask him to tell me everything. Not finding my mother is one thing, but I at least deserve to know the truth. I need to know if I can trust my father or not."
"And what if you can't?"
"I have no idea. It was always my father, my mother and I. I never met any family member, and my grandparents passed away before I was even born, on both sides, so I guess I'll just have to figure out what to do when it happens."
You hum. "You know I'm not leaving you alone after, right? We'll figure things out together."
"Thank you." Ten says softly, and you shake your head, taking his hand in yours.
"You do not have to thank me, that's what friends are for." he stops.
"No, friends don't let themselves be burnt because they want to help someone. Friends help as much as they can, they do not take the risk to see their lives being ruined. You are different."
You do not think you are any different, but if Ten says you are, then you are not going to tell him otherwise. "I want the best for you, that's it." he smiles softly, and you don’t remember the last time you saw him smile so genuinely and it warms your heart. "You have a lifetime to tell me how perfect I am, but now, we have a mission!"
He rolls his eyes, and he starts walking again.
The sun is already high in the sky when the wand stops pulling him into the unknown. "Tired again?" Ten wonders, and you shrug, finally letting go of his hand to look around. You are in a suburb, all of the houses look the same, and an old lady is walking her dog, looking at you suspiciously.
You must be quite the sight.
You, with your white shirt and a pants you stole from her nurse and the face of someone who did not sleep for a week, and Ten who keeps threading his fingers in his hair out of frustration, dark bags under his eyes and a wooden stick in his hand. "Or maybe it's here. Maybe one of these houses belong to one of them."
"Wait here." you say, and you cross the road to the old lady who stops in her track, grabbing her small dog in her arms.
"I don't have anything on me." she says in defense, and you shake your head.
"I am so sorry to bother you, but do you live in this area?" the old lady hesitate but she nods. "Do you happen to know if someone named Lee lives around? A lady in her forties, probably very beautiful, black hair."
Ten told you that when he was born, he took his mother's last name, not his father, and it could be of help right now. The old lady thinks about it. "There is a woman in her forties here with her children and husband, but I am not sure her name is Lee." you hum, maybe it is her, maybe it is not.
"Could you show me which house it is? It would help us greatly."
"Can I ask you why? I don't want to give you her house for you to go and break-in or do something bad!" you shake your head with vigor.
"Do you see my friend over there? We believe this is where his mother lives, unfortunately, his father did not give us a lot of informations, we are just following hints without being sure we are on the right track."
"I see. This is the third house after the one your friend is standing in front. If you do something out of the ordinary, I will remember your faces when the police comes." fair enough.
"Thank you so much, and promise, no funny business."
You run back to Ten who looks at you expectantly. "Come on." you grab his hand and you lead him to the right house. You stop in front of the door, and you turn to face him. "So, I am not sure this is the house, as I only gave the lady what I knew about your mother, but she said it might be here." before Ten can open his mouth, you raise your hand to stop him. "Don't get your hopes up, it might not be the right place, maybe the wand is just tired."
"Let's do it." Ten stands back from the door, so you doubt anyone opening the door would see him. Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see how much his hands are shaking, he is so close to his goal. You take a deep breath, and you knock.
You take a small step back when a dog barks on the other side of the door, and you put a hand on your heart, you were not expecting it. You hear rustling and you hear the lock before the door opens. You choke on your saliva when you meet the woman's eyes. It's like looking at Ten, but older, with long hair and more feminine features.
"Oh my, are you all right darling?" she asks, worried about a complete stranger on the step of her door.
"Yes, yes, I'm sorry. This might sound weird, but are you miss Lee?" the lady's eyes open wide, and it looks like she has not heard this name in years.
"Yes, it's me. Who are you?"
"I'm-" what are you supposed to say, especially with Ten not moving a limb to show himself. He is frozen in place, and you can't really blame him. "I'm a friend of your son, Ten." Ten's mother puts a hand over her mouth to muffle a sob, and you honestly want to burry yourself in the ground. Not that you are uncomfortable with burst of emotions, it's just that you do not know what to do.
"We, we found a letter in Hogwarts, and then another one with a lock of your hair. And one thing leading to another, we decided to look for you." you explain, as slowly as you can, and the lady straightens up.
"We?" she asks, and you look to the side, and prompts Ten to move before you force him out of his spot.
"Hey mom." Ten says, now standing beside you.
Ten's mother is quick to pull him against her chest, and he wraps his arms around her. They don't say anything, they just hug and for a second, you wonder if you should turn around. It feels like you are intruding on something that should be private.
"My boy, my sweet boy." she whispers, hands on Ten's cheeks. His cheeks are shining with tears, same as her and you feel relief crash onto you to the point where you could fall to the ground and cry too. Not because you are happy, but because you are exhausted, and that it is finally over.
"Come on in!" she pushes herself from the door, pushing the dog at the same time and she leads you to the living room. There are pictures on the walls, of her, of a man Ten does not recognize, and two children. Ten stops when he sees a photo of him and his mother when he was barely 5 years old.
"You kept them?" he asks.
"Of course! I could never gave gotten rid of the photos, they were the last things I had to remind me of you." you sit down on the sofa and it takes you everything not to close your eyes and let yourself be lulled to sleep. You want to hear the story, you want to know more, then you'll let yourself fall unconscious.
"You must have a lot of questions." she says when she comes back with three cups of tea, and Ten nods. You thank her, letting the warmth of the cup invade your hands.
"But I have one important question, is dad my biological father?"
She shakes her head, yes, he guessed as much. "He is not, and if you read the letters, you probably already knew." Ten stays silent, it is not a surprise to him, but now, he needs to know more.
"When I met your father for the first time, it was through my family. At first, I did not think anything of it, but I quickly understood why they made me become acquainted with him. My family, and his had this sort of pact where they had to marry their first borns."
"So, I had no choice than to accept it, but at that time, I had a boyfriend, we were planning on getting married, but then it happened and I had no choice than to break up with him." Ten frowns, as he sips on his tea. "We found each other again a few years later after the wedding, and I got pregnant."
"Of course, everyone thought it was from your father, but it was not. I had a weak moment when we reunited with your biological father, and you happened. I thought your father would be stupid enough to accept you as his, but he caught one of the letters one day, and oh, all hell broke loose."
"He made it his personal mission to make my life a living hell, that's when I told your biological father that if I ever missed a letter, it was because he did something. But he would not have done it before you were born, because blood is important, and he needed an heir, no matter if it was his blood running in their veins or not."
"After you were born, I did not have time to write, or to read letters, so he thought I had forgotten about him, and stopped trying to contact me, so your father thought I had broken things up and were ready to start being an actual family, that's why I stayed with you most of your childhood."
"And then, as you must have guessed, he found out he was wrong, and threatened me. I had no choice than to leave while he was at work."
Ten shakes his head. "Why didn't you take me?" she sighs, looking at Ten.
"I didn’t have enough time. He would have found us, and merlin knows what he would have done to me, or worse, to you. He did not want or need a wife, but he needed an heir."
"I tried to contact you, but when I received no answer, I understood that your father caught the letters before you did. Then I learned he got remarried, and moved to London. I assumed you transfered to Hogwarts, so that's when I decided to send the letters."
"I could not send them through the regular mail as I was scared your mail would be checked by someone else before being delivered, so I sent them via a magic portal."
Ten would not be surprised to have his mail being checked by someone paid by his father, or by his father himself. As he explained earlier, his father is overprotective, and now, he understand why. He did not want him to find his mother, to know the truth. He wanted Ten to keep believing that she just decided to abandon them.
"It was not my idea at first, but my husband's. He saw how sad I was and he actually found the spell to send the first letter. When he told me about it, I decided to keep going. In a way, that's maybe why I kept all of the letters, and he kept his. Memories, yes, but to find you when the time was right."
"Even though I thought you would wait for the school break to start looking for me." she says, a tad disappointed, and Ten lowers his head, ashamed.
"I knew dad would never let me leave, so I had to act. Maybe it was not a good idea, because I had to get expelled, and she probably will be too, but I didn't have much of a choice. I needed answers."
"How did you leave the castle if you were not expelled?" she asks, looking at you and you do not feel like answer, but Ten does before you.
"I used a spell that would send her to the infirmary, asked friends to make the infirmary useless so she would be sent to St Mungo's, and she left in the middle of the night."
His mother chuckles, but she is also astonished. "You did all that, just to find me?" her voice is small, and vulnerable, and it is like listening to Ten that night, in front of the fireplace, the night you kissed for the first, and last time.
"Of course! I would have done worst if it meant I could find you, or at least finally have answers."
The front door opens in a creak, and you turn your head towards the sound. The woman stands up, and she smiles sweetly before disappearing in the hallway. "Is she how you remember?" you ask Ten in a whisper, and the young man nods.
"Everything is like I remember. Her face, her voice, her smile." you can hear so many emotions in his voice that you have to keep yourself from hugging him.
"Ten, I have someone to introduce you." Ten stands up when a man enters the living room, he is a stranger to him, and yet, he feels something deep within him. "This is Jun, your biological father."
"I am happy to finally meet you, Ten." the man says, and his eyes crinkle when he smiles.
You finally stand up, and you put your hand on Ten's shoulder, whisper into his ear. "You have a lot to catch up on, I'll be outside." he is ready to say no, but you shake your head, they need some alone time together, together, as a family. Or what you hope will become a real family in the future.
"I am listening, what do you have to say?"
The headmistress is short, and rather petite, but she is intimidating. You sink deeper into your seat, and you notice that Ten does the same. "Do you have any idea how scared we were when the nurse did not find you in your bed in the morning?" she asks before you have time to think about what to say. "And you, we received a letter from your step-mother when she could not find you in the morning either. She thought you came back here."
Ten looks over his shoulder, and his mother smiles at him with a nod of her head. It is because of her if you are both here, ready to plead for the school to take you back. Your parents are there too, but you are too scared to look at them, even though you know you won't see anger in their eyes, but rather disappointment. They were scared, that's all.
"First of all, I would like to say that Y/n had nothing to do with this. She wanted to be a good friend, and decided to follow me. I should be the one being blamed, not her." you turn your had, but he does not let you the time to speak. "My mother tried to find me for years, and she finally succeeded this time, without my father being in the way. She wanted me to find her during the school break, but my impatience had the better of me."
"The fights were fake, we just needed a way to be expelled, so we could look for her. Even though I have to admit, the spell I threw was beyond unacceptable, I should have known better, and I will apologize as much as needed for Y/n to forgive me. I understand that what I did is unforgivable, and that I deserve to be expelled, if not for the fight, but for leading Y/n into this."
"You do not have to take me back, it's okay, but you have to take her back. She did not ask for anything, all she did was becoming my friend and now that I think about it, it was a really bad idea to accept her proposition. She wanted to help, and I was desperate." he closes his mouth, and the headmistress hums.
"I would like to say that I left from my own will, Ten did not force me. I made the decision to leave St Mungo's and I should be punished too."
Ten sighs, he doesn’t want you to pay the consequences of his actions but he is not surprised, like you said, you are in this together.
"May I speak?" Ten's mother asks, and the headmistress agrees.
“I am to blamed too. I should have waited for the school year to end to send the letters, I should have found a better way to do it, because my Ten always acted a little reckless even when he was a child, so I should have known he would be looking for me before the school ends. I was desperate to find him, as much as he was to find me to answer the tons of questions he had since he was young.”
The conversation goes on for another hour, and the headmistress dismisses you and Ten in the hallway. She needs to think about it. She, on the other hand, asked the parents to stay in her office.
"What do you think is going to happen?" you ask Ten, sliding down the wall and he shrugs.
"I don't know, but whathever happens, I want you to know that I'll be forever grateful for what you did. I could never have asked for a better person by my side to find my mother." he sits down next to you, and you put your head on his shoulder.
"It was my pleasure."
He kisses your forehead, and you close your eyes. Once again, you have to wait.
And when the door opens on your parents, you stand up, and you are quick to find Ten's hand to squeeze it gently. "So?" he asks, looking at his mother.
"It was hard, but she decided to give you two a second chance. You will have to stay in detention every night until the end of the school year, but you can come back to class tomorrow."
You break into a smile when your parents smile, that's what you needed. You never thought you would be so happy to learn that you will have to go back to class, but here you are.
"Thank you, Y/n, for everything you did for my sweet boy. I owe you a big one." Ten's smile is so bright that you have to look away, but when he takes a step towards you, you have no choice to meet his gaze.
"Thank you." he whispers, cupping your face and he lins in to kiss you sweetly.
It is a simple kiss, but it holds so much. So much words that you probably will never able to say out loud even though you are dying to. Words that could never be strong enough to be said. But it is enough for you, for Ten. It is way more than what you both thought you could ever have. So you kiss him again, and again, ignoring the world around you.
"I love you" you try to say each time your lips press against his.
"I love you too." Ten answers each time he kisses you back.
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Lazy Love | Cho Seungyoun
Request(s):
Haha fuck... your sub hangyul fic killed me i love you😭😭😭 And now that requests are open you know I have to request something with cockwarming seungyoun it’s my fucking dream 😭😭 sorry it’s not specific but if you added it to another fic i will love you forEVER. (But, honestly, i’ll love you no matter what you write)
one-shot smut about cockwarming seungyoun all night and then he fucks u lazily in the morning 🥺 can you put lots of dirty talk like he’s very loud in bed thank you! 🥺
↬ Pairing: Seungyoun x fem!reader.
↬ Genre: Fluff, Smut.
↬ Warnings: explicit language, cockwarming, unprotected sex, very soft Seungyoun that deserves the whole world.
↬ Word Count: 1.3k
↬ Song Recommendation: "Lazy Love" by Eden ft. Younha. It’s so good... and it really makes you feel and think about this kind of sensual sex.
The sunshine rays slightly illuminated the room, the dust particles dancing around as you opened your eyes, blinking a few times in order to get used to your surroundings. You were about to stretch when a soft breathing on your back reminded you of the situation you were currently in, your boyfriend’s arm resting on your waist like a puzzle piece pulling you closer to him. His hug was much appreciated, but you knew that if you didn’t get up right now this would end up with both of you laying in bed the whole day, so you tried to unclasp his grip from you, getting as a result him clinging more and making you aware of the warmth resting in you.
“Seungyoun…” As if to shut you up, his hand started drawing silly designs on your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “We should get up…”
He let out a small complaint, his voice slightly hoarse. “Hmm… but I’m comfortable like this.”
Some nights, Seungyoun would feel more sensitive than usual, getting more whiny than usual. As those nights became more frequent, you were running out of ideas to comfort him, until he came up with another one: sleeping while he was inside of you. You smiled remembering how it felt like some kind of excuse to get more sex often, but it genuinely surprised you how he merely wanted to have you close, few times ending up with heated sessions. And if you were to be honest… you got used to it to the point where it became routine, feeling extremely lonely when he had to stay at the studio or go away and couldn’t spend nights with you.
As you continued telling the reasons to get up, he placed small kisses on your shoulders, waking up and starting to try and find another position that was more comfortable. Each bit of friction added to his caressing caused you to get wet, his member hardening until he pulled out, making you sigh before he laid on top of you, resting his head on your chest and burying in your heat again. That was his strategy whenever he didn’t want to let go of you: he knew you wouldn’t be able to fight against his heavy body and would end up just giving in.
“We can never get up early because of you doing this.” You gave up, as always, playing with his hair, admiring the contrast between his eyelashes and his pale skin as his eyes fluttered shut. “You have to get up.”
“Are you sure you want to get up now?” The playful tone in his voice was enough to know that he wasn’t going to let you go, mouth starting to suck on the skin of your breasts, his stare finding yours as he licked one of your nipples.
It was a rather sinful view, to be honest: his messy hair sticking every way, his sleepy eyes looking right back at you, his teeth nibbling on the skin softly, a smirk spreading on his lips as he felt you getting wetter. He let go of your nipple only to repeat the action with the other one, moving his hips carefully, a sigh escaping from him as you tightened around him. Seungyoun knew all and each of your weaknesses and would take advantage of them whenever he felt like, coming up to kiss you in the sweetest way.
Both of your bodies were a little bit numb, the sleepiness washing away with each touch, his movements still lazy and you weren’t sure whether he was doing it on purpose or if he simply needed to wake up. In case it was the latter, you wrapped your legs around him and pushed him against you, panting in his ear as he filled you even more, loving the way he would get harder inside of you. However, he continued to roll his hips deliberately slow, his breaths impacting against the skin of your neck before he bit on it, running his tongue up and sucking on your earlobe.
“I missed your heat so much.” You felt your walls clenching at his words, his husky tone simply adding to the attractiveness. “Keep tightening around me, love.”
You weren’t sure if he was completely awake, but you didn’t care either, following his request and hugging him close to you. At times like this, nothing felt enough, your body and mind craving for more of Seungyoun and he knew that. It drove him crazy when you couldn’t get enough of him, when nothing else was in your thoughts except for him and the way he felt, his touch on every inch of his body. His hands searched for yours, intertwining his fingers with yours as he kept them above your head, his tired eyes taking in your beauty.
The contrast between your skin and his, your swollen lips slightly parted trying to catch your breath after each sharp thrust, the way you gazed at him through half-lidded eyes, your hair completely tangled, your insides trapping him and making it so much difficult to try to pull out… everything about you was intoxicating and there was nothing that he loved more than these small moments of happiness he got to share with you. All of the hardships he had to go through were definitely worth it as long he could spend the rest of his days with you like this.
“Seungyoun…” He didn’t need to hear more to understand that you were close, one of his hands leaving yours and spitting on his fingers a bit only to place them on your clit afterwards, rubbing circles on it.
“Can you feel how deep I am in you, baby?” His question was followed by his cock burying completely inside of you, smiling as you nodded while biting your bottom lip. “I want to fill you up even more.”
His innocent eyes didn’t match his words at all. “Then do it.” You could feel him twitch and it was your turn to smirk at him. “Spill inside of me, Seungyoun. Make me yours.”
“Not fair…” His pace finally picked up, the friction stimulating you as he rammed into you. “You know all of my weaknesses.”
You giggled, interrupted by a moan when he found your sweet spot. “As if you didn’t know mine...” Taking his hair and yanking it softly, you pressed kisses along the line of his jaw, a low grunt vibrating against your lips on his throat. “Cum inside me, Seungyoun.”
Even if you begged for him to do so, there was no way he would cum before you. It would simply hurt his ego if he couldn’t make you reach your own high first, so his fingers pressed harshly against your sensitive nub and rubbed faster, humming at the way you cried out for him. Feeling your thighs shaking, he rammed into you a few more times, groaning as he emptied himself in you.
“You always look so pretty when cumming…” His breathing was slightly irregular as he whispered the praising against your skin, tasting the salty flavor of the sweat coating it.
“You do too.” Your finger traced small hearts on his cheeks. “And you know what other thing is pretty? Your smelly breath.”
“Yours it’s quite cute as well, almost a killing point, honestly.” His laugh vibrated against your chest as you slapped his shoulder softly. He pressed a kiss to your lips, laying down on top of you again. “It is cute, though. I like it.”
“This is too much praising…” He pretended to not understand, hiding a grin. “You want to stay in bed, don’t you?”
Seungyoun snuggled, chuckling when you discovered him. “Five more minutes?”
“You are lucky I love you.” He sighed as one of your hands played with his hair, the other one stroking his back, before replying with a soft murmur.
“I love you too.”
Actually this could have been so much better... but since I wanted to make it very soft and sweet I tried to keep it lowkey uwu.
~Nani
| Masterlist |
#we need more messy seungyoun in the morning photoshoots#this one was a blessing jeez#cho seungyoun#seungyoun#cho seungyoun smut#cho seungyoun fluff#cho seungyoun scenario#seungyoun smut#seungyoun fluff#seungyoun scenario#x1#x1 smut#x1 fluff#x1 scenario#seungyoun x reader#cho seungyoun x reader#cho seungyeon#seungyeon#cho seungyeon smut#cho seungyeon fluff#cho seungyeon scenario#seungyeon smut#seungyeon fluff#seungyeon scenario
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Get Myself Back
ao3
playlist
Call him crazy, but Bucky assumed that when he came back from being turned to dust, he and Steve were finally going to get their happy ending. It would’ve been poetic. It was sappy, and Bucky was hardly a sap, but he thought he could allow being a sap this one time.
Their story was already poetic and sappy and beautiful. Best friends who were always in love, but never together, torn apart by war and death. Best friend comes back from the dead but is horribly brainwashed and evil. Brainwashed assassin gets unbrainwashed just in time to get turned into dust. Then, of course, he comes back from being turned to dust.
If Bucky was being completely honest, it seemed like a complete waste to not get a happy ending after that. He knew they had to take advantage of it because God only knew if they were going to get another chance. So, when everything died down, and Steve told Bucky that they needed to talk, Bucky expected it to be the happy ending talk.
Call him crazy, but Bucky wasn’t expecting the conversation that he received.
...
Bucky walked into the guest room he and Steve were sharing at Tony’s cabin just like he was asked to. He honest to God expected Steve to be on his goddamn knee when he walked in, no matter how cheesy that was. Instead, he saw a very distraught Steve pacing back and forth.
“Steve?” Bucky asked. “What’s going on? What did you want to talk about?”
“I’m going to put the stones back where they belong,” Steve explained. Weird way to start this conversation, Bucky thought to himself.
“Do you want me to come with you?” he questioned. Steve stopped pacing and looked at Bucky.
“No, no, you have to stay here,” Steve stated. Bucky’s eyebrows shot up toward his hairline.
“And why’s that? Since when do we go on missions alone?”
“I’m staying in the past,” Steve said, looking straight into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky’s eyebrows fell back down into a straight furrow. “I’m staying in the forties with Peggy.”
“Peggy?” Bucky tested the name on his tongue. “I’m sorry. What?”
“She’s the love of my life, Buck.”
“She’s the what?”
“I thought you would be happy for me,” Steve said sadly.
“Happy? Happy? Why the hell would I be happy about this?” Bucky questioned angrily. “You’re throwing everything away to be with someone who you knew for a week? She’s not the love of your fucking life. You don’t even know her!”
“Bucky,” Steve chastised, shaking his head. “I love her. I would give up the world for her.”
“Yeah, well, last I checked, the only person you gave up the world for was me,” Bucky stated, biting his tongue afterward. He felt tears beginning to come up. “Why are you leaving me? I don’t understand. Am I not enough?”
“You’re perfect, Bucky,” Steve said, pushing some of Bucky’s hair behind his ear. Bucky backed away from him. “It’s just that I think it’s time that I take a nice retirement.”
“You can’t retire with me? You can’t have a happy life with me?”
“Buck.”
“When are you going?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“So we have tonight?” Bucky asked. Steve nodded. “I can’t convince you to stay. I know that. I deserve more than one night. I deserve to be happy and in love for the rest of my life, but I’ll settle for tonight. I assume that that’s something you want to, otherwise you wouldn’t have told me.”
“You deserve more,” Steve stated. Bucky entered into his space.
“Yeah, I do,” Bucky responded, lips not an inch away from Steve’s. He held Steve’s t-shirt in his hands. “But I deserve a proper goodbye as well.”
...
Steve left and came back in a matter of seconds. He lived a whole goddamn life, but it was only a few seconds for Bucky. Bucky was seething with rage the entire time. He knew that it must’ve seemed odd that he wasn’t going crazy with worry, and he knew it was completely out of character for him to send Sam to Steve first.
“Did you know?” Sam quietly asked Bucky when he was done talking to Steve. Bucky just nodded silently. “You should go talk to him.”
“I really, really don’t want to,” Bucky replied. Sam made a disappointed face, but Bucky didn’t have the energy for that either. “Fine.”
“Buck,” Steve said happily when Bucky sat down on the bench next to him. “I missed you.” Bucky only hummed in response. “You didn’t miss me?”
“You were only gone a few seconds,” Bucky said flatly.
“Are you mad at me?”
“No,” Bucky answered. He let out a breathy laugh. “I don’t really care. I’m numb right now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re not, and that’s okay. It’s your life, and clearly, I don’t have a place in that anymore.”
“You’re always going to have a place in my life.”
“Really?” Bucky questioned sarcastically. “Is that so? Then, I’m sure this will be an easy question to answer. When you were back in the past, did you try to save me? Your best friend, your previous lover, who was being tortured, did you try to save him?”
“I…” Steve began. “I couldn’t. You know that. I couldn’t mess up time like that.”
“So you were fine with completely uprooting Peggy’s life, but you couldn’t be bothered to go get me? That’s fine, Steve. If you didn’t care enough to help me, that’s okay, but fucking own up to it,” Bucky told him.
“I do love you. I…I did,” Steve assured him. Bucky nodded.
“I know. Just not as much as you loved her, and not nearly enough as I loved you.”
...
It was only a few days later that Steve died. It’s not like they weren’t expecting it; he was exceptionally old. Another funeral wasn’t exactly what the group needed at the time, but they put one on nonetheless.
It was a nice service. Not that Bucky would know as he was completely shitfaced the entire time. He stayed quiet for the most part. That was until the dinner afterward. Everyone was eating and telling their favorite stories about Steve. Bucky took a sip of his drink, smiled, and put it down on the table.
“You have a story to share, Bucky?” Scott asked.
“Yes, I do,” Bucky slurred. “I came out to Steve when we were fifteen years old. It just kind of happened. I wouldn’t have planned to do it. It was the fucking thirties. Anyway, before he had the courage to come out to me, he said, ‘I still love you, Buck. I’m never gonna leave you. I’m with you till the end of the line.’”
“That’s sweet,” Wanda offered, but Bucky didn’t pay her any mind.
“Til the end of the fucking line. That was his little phrase. He said to me all the time. Every time I was sad or in danger, ‘til the end of the line,’” Bucky said with a bitter laugh. “He didn’t say it to me again before he died. The one time I needed to hear it. He just fucking left me. First, for her, and then he just fucking died. ‘Til the end of the line my ass.”
“Bucky,” Sam cut in, eyes wide and upset. He watched Bucky down the rest of his drink. “I think that’s enough for tonight. Why don’t we head home?”
“What fucking home?” Bucky asked, causing everyone to look at him. “I lived alone in a shack in Wakanda. Of course, we could always go back to Steve’s apartment that I lived in for quite some time as well.”
“My place. We can go to my place,” Sam told him.
“I’m not a fucking baby, pigeon,” Bucky spat. “I don’t need you to take care of me.”
“I know that,” Sam said softly. “Let’s just go, okay?”
“Fine, but I’m drinking there,” Bucky agreed. Sam groaned and helped Bucky up, out of the hall, and into the car. He was complaining the whole time, but eventually, he passed out in the passenger seat.
“Bucky,” Sam said, shaking him when they arrived at Sam’s apartment complex. He realized that that wasn’t going to work, so he decided to just get out of the car and help. He managed to get Bucky to his feet and start walking up to his apartment.
“He left me,” Bucky murmured so low that Sam wasn’t sure he heard him right. Sam pressed the button to the elevator and stepped inside, Bucky still heavily leaning on him. “He left me, Sam.”
“I know,” Sam whispered back. He had never seen Bucky this vulnerable, and he felt like he was intruding for a number of reasons.
“I loved him so much,” Bucky whispered back as the elevator doors opened. Neither one of them said anything as they walked to Sam’s apartment. Once they got inside, Sam led Bucky to his bedroom.
“Alright, let’s lay you down here,” Sam said, sitting Bucky down on the bed, but Bucky resisted.
“No,” he groaned. “Couch. This is your bed.”
“It’s okay, Bucky. You can take the bed tonight,” Sam assured him. Bucky nodded and laid down. “Do you need anything else?”
“‘M good,” Bucky replied. Sam turned to leave the room, but he heard Bucky whisper, “I loved him so much, Sam, but I wasn’t good enough.”
Sam nodded sadly before shutting off the light and closing the door. He wasn’t entirely sure what he had gotten himself into, but he did know that it was Captain America’s job to take care of Bucky Barnes.
...
Sam was up early the next morning. Well, that wasn’t exactly true. “Up early” implies that he went to sleep at all, and “sleep” was an over-exaggeration for his restless night on his living room couch. Either way, he was exhausted sitting at his kitchen counter anxiously waiting for Bucky to wake up. He knew that they needed to talk, but he also knew that Bucky was not big on talking.
“Wilson?” Sam heard Bucky’s groggy voice from the hallway. He then appeared in the kitchen. “What the hell happened?”
“You drank three times your body weight,” Sam explained, getting up to pour Bucky a cup of coffee. Bucky sat down across from Sam at the counter and accepted the drink.
“I’m not even able to get drunk,” Bucky murmured.
“Well, you could’ve fooled me,” Sam replied with a smirk. Bucky glared at him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” Bucky stated flatly. Sam nodded. Then he yawned. “Tired?”
“Extremely. The couch isn’t exactly the best place to sleep,” Sam responded, taking a sip of his coffee. “And that is precisely why we’re moving.”
“What?” Bucky asked, eyes wide. Sam chuckled lightly.
“We’re gonna get a two-bedroom,” Sam told him. “I’m not taking no for an answer. Not that you would have any reason to say no. I’m just giving you a roof over your head. It’s a kindness really.”
“Oh, shut up,” Bucky said, but he was smiling. “You really want to live with me?”
“No,” Sam replied plainly, but then his face cracked into a grin. Bucky smiled back, and that was just the beginning.
...
It didn’t take Sam and Bucky long to find an apartment they liked. They moved into their new place less than a week after they decided to move in together. Living together was definitely the right call. This way Sam could keep an eye on Bucky at all times.
Bucky wasn’t doing well. Not that that was a surprise because he hadn’t been doing well since the forties. He wasn’t okay before, and Steve leaving shattered whatever was left of him. Sam knew that if he left Bucky to his own devices, it would’ve been a disaster.
It had been months since Steve when Sam had had enough. At first, he really wanted Bucky to cope however was necessary, but after a while, Sam knew that it needed to stop. He came to this startling realization in the middle of the night when he heard crying and things crashing coming from the bathroom.
“Bucky?” Sam asked, terrified as he walked closer to the bathroom. He pushed the door open and saw Bucky standing in front of the mirror. There were tears streaming down his face, and he was holding Sam’s electric razor.
“He loved my hair,” Bucky said angrily. He was looking at Sam through the mirror. “He loved it when we were kids, and he loved it before he left. His hands were always in it, and that is the only thing I can think of when I look in the mirror.”
“Okay,” Sam replied, nodding. “Do you want me to help?”
“Would you mind?” Bucky asked, looking into Sam’s eyes through the glass. Sam smiled softly. Bucky already knew the answer to the question. Sam stepped forward and took the clippers from Bucky’s hand.
“How short are we talking?” Sam questioned, inspecting Bucky’s hair.
“Buzzcut,” Bucky replied. Sam’s heart broke a little bit but he did as he was told.
Sam was being incredibly careful as he touched and cut Bucky’s hair. He knew that this was something that Bucky was vulnerable about, and he didn’t want to trigger him in any way. It was incredibly hard to do that, though, when Bucky would roll his neck like that.
“All done,” Sam said, voice barely above a whisper. Whatever the hell just happened was the most intimate thing they ever did, and it was greatly affecting Sam. He finally looked at Bucky’s full head in the mirror, and that affected him even more. “You like it? Did I do a good job?”
“I love it,” Bucky answered, moving closer to the mirror. He rubbed his head and smiled to himself. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” Sam said with a smile. He left the bathroom and went to his room. He threw himself onto the bed with a huff. “Fuck.”
...
Obviously, after that whole mess, Sam knew that he needed to do something. He needed to help Bucky. He also knew that there was something new to how he felt about Bucky, but now was not the time to worry about that. His only concern was helping the man who was currently sitting on the couch after a mission that exhausted both of them.
“Man, I am wiped,” Bucky said, putting his feet up on the coffee table. “Maybe I’ll actually sleep through the night tonight.”
Sam hummed, but he hated what that statement suggested. He hated that Bucky wasn’t sleeping. He hated all of it. He knew that it was now or never.
“Did Steve ever tell you about Riley? My Riley?” Sam asked. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him, and Sam took that as a no. “He was my best friend. Somewhere along the line, we fell in love, and he became my entire world. I loved him with my entire being.
“He died when we were in the Air Force together. It absolutely destroyed me. It was the worst and darkest time in my life,” Sam explained. “I didn’t think I would ever get out of that place. He was my person, and he wasn’t there to help me anymore. Being with him, talking to him, it would make me feel better immediately, and I didn’t have that anymore. So, I wrote him a letter, and it helped. I got closure. I miss him every single day, but it doesn’t hurt like it used to.”
“I’m sorry, Sam,” Bucky said softly. Sam smiled at him. “Did the letter really help?”
“It did,” Sam told him. “I can’t promise you that it’ll help you the same way it helped me, but I do think that maybe you should try. Just give it a try, okay?”
“Anything for you, Sammy my boy,” Bucky replied, grinning. Sam rolled his eyes.
“Shut up, Barnes. I’m going to shower,” Sam said, pushing Bucky’s shoulder before getting off the couch. He heard Bucky clear his throat, and he turned around.
“Thank you,” Bucky said genuinely. He looked Sam in the eyes, and that feeling of intimacy from the night before hit them both again.
“Anything for you, Bucky my boy.”
...
It was a few hours later, and Bucky was sitting on his bed with a notebook on his lap. He ripped out yet another page, crumpled it up, and groaned. He took a deep breath and started again.
Dear Steve,
I’ve tried to start this about ten times, but I keep starting over. I’m not gonna start over this time though. I have a lot of feelings about all of this, and as we both know, I’m not great with feelings. I need to get it all out though.
I don’t want to be mad at you. I have never been mad at you, but there have been so many times when you deserved for me to be mad at you. I loved you too much, though. I loved you too much to see that what you were doing warranted me being mad. I loved you too much, and you were too selfish.
You were always selfish from day one. You were sick, and you said you were fine because you wanted to play football with the rest of us. You got pneumonia after that, Steve. You could’ve died.
You got into fights with people who could have easily killed you because you wanted to. You didn’t care that your ma cried herself to sleep at night because she was so worried about you. You didn’t care that I was terrified to find you dead in some alley.
Then, you kept trying to get into the war even though you knew that you would die. You were going to die, Stevie. There was no other way. I was selfish at that point. I was so happy that they wouldn’t let you fight. I didn’t want you to die. Do you see the difference, Steve? I was selfish because I wanted you to live. I was selfish for you.
Then, you showed up all not you. You changed yourself because you wanted something so badly. You didn’t change yourself because you wanted to save the world. You just wanted the glory. You were selfish.
Then, a century later, you broke laws because you were selfish. Don’t tell me that you did that for me. I would have believed you if you told me that a few years ago, but not now. I know better now.
I wish you did it for me. I hoped for years that one day, one day you would be selfish for me. For us. I thought that you felt the same way. I thought that you were finally ready to settle down with me after everything that happened. You had one last piece of selfishness in you, and I thought you were going to use it for us.
But, of course, you used it for her. How could I be so stupid? How could I expect you to ever put anyone before yourself? Did you know that she had a family? She had kids, kids who don’t exist anymore thanks to you. You messed up the entire universe because you wanted to fuck some dame you met a hundred years ago.
So, yeah, now I’m mad, and I have every right to be mad. I love you. I loved you. I’ll probably always love you, but I really don’t want to be in this pain anymore. I don’t want to be in agony anymore. I want to let this all go.
I don’t forgive you. I’m not ready for that yet, and I’m not sure when that is going to be. I do know that I love you, and I hate hating you. I hate how I feel. I know that you loved me. Even though that wasn’t enough to keep you here, it is enough to get me through the day.
I’m going to have a good life. I am. I’ll keep our memories (the good ones) with me until the end, but I think that it might be time to put that behind me. I’ll put you in a little box in my mind where you’ll be happy, and I’ll get to be happy too.
I hope that you had a nice life without me. I’m sure that sounds very bitter, but it’s only a little bitter. That’s what you do for the people you love, Steve. You hope that they’re happy, even if it’s not with you.
Wow, I really thought I was done, but I just can’t seem to end this. I guess I just miss talking to you. I miss you every second of the day, and I’m always going to miss you. It’s okay though. It’s all going to be okay. I’m going to move on, and everything is going to be fine. I’m going to be fine, Steve. I’m going to be fine without you.
You were the one who decided that this was the end of the line, and now I’m deciding that I’m not with you anymore.
Sincerely,
Bucky
Bucky closed the notebook and slept through the night for the first time in months.
...
Sam didn’t want to say that Bucky was magically healed, but he was certainly better than he was before. He was smiling and laughing, and it was making Sam’s heart fucking soar. Bucky was sitting next to him on the couch laughing at the movie they were watching, and Sam couldn’t stop staring at him.
“What are you looking at, Wilson?” Bucky asked, not looking away from the tv. Sam’s face heated up so much that he thought he was on fire.
“Just admiring my handiwork,” Sam explained, turning his attention to Bucky’s hair, which was growing in nicely.
“Oh, yeah?” Bucky asked, turning his head to face Sam at last. “You think it looks good?”
“Yeah,” Sam replied softly, internally freaking out. “It looks real good, Bucky.”
“Yeah?” Bucky questioned, voice just above a whisper. He made eye contact with Sam, and something just changed in the air. “It’s really soft now that it’s short.”
“Can I...Can I, uh…?” Sam tried to ask, but it didn’t come out. Bucky just smiled at him and nodded. Sam bit his lip and slid his hand into Bucky’s hair. “You’re right. It’s very soft.”
“Thank you,” Bucky said, biting his lip to stop himself from smiling.
“Hey, don’t do that,” Sam told him. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him. “I like it when you smile.”
“Haven’t had much of a reason to smile recently, but, um, you helped me with that,” Bucky explained. Sam’s fingers tightened in his hair, and his eyes fluttered closed.
“Glad I could help,” Sam whispered, face only a few inches away from Bucky’s where they were sitting turned into each other on the couch.
“It would help even more if you kissed me,” Bucky stated. Sam’s eyes went wide before his pupils enlarged.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Positive. Kiss me.”
Sam took a deep breath before leaning forward and connecting his lips with Bucky’s. They were both hesitant at first, but when Bucky made an attempt to deepen the kiss, Sam immediately allowed for it to happen. He pushed Bucky down so he was lying on the couch was Sam leaning over him.
“You’re still sure?” Sam asked, hovering for a moment.
“If you don’t get your pretty face down here and kiss me, I’m going to break your wings.”
“Aw, you think my face is pretty,” Sam said, ducking down to give Bucky a chaste kiss on the cheek. He smirked before moving down to kiss Bucky’s neck.
“Oh my God,” Bucky groaned. He could feel his pants getting tighter, and he was embarrassed for a second until he bucked up and realized they were in the same boat.
Sam pushed Bucky’s hips down with his own and ground slightly, not wanting to move too fast. Bucky pulled Sam’s face up to his lips again, and Sam happily obliged. His hands began to wander down Bucky’s torso until they found the waistband of his boxers.
“Don’t ask me if I’m sure again,” Bucky said between pants. “I’m fucking positive. Do whatever you want as long as you’re okay with it.”
“You got it, Sergeant,” Sam responded, and the moan he received made him almost die. “Like that?”
“Yes,” Bucky whispered. Sam smiled to himself before placing a light kiss on Bucky’s lips. His lips then began to trail to where his hands currently were.
“You’re in for the night of your life, Sergeant Barnes.”
...
Needless to say, that was not the only time that happened. It became a pretty regular thing between the two of them. They hadn’t really talked about it, which Sam, ever the therapist, wasn’t happy with, but he wasn’t exactly ready to stop doing it.
“Buck,” Sam said in between moans as Bucky kissed greedily at Sam’s neck. “Maybe we should talk.”
“I think I’d much rather keep doing what I’m doing, thanks,” Bucky replied into the skin he was sucking at. Sam rolled his eyes, from both pleasure and annoyance.
“Bucky,” Sam breathed out. Bucky pulled away and looked Sam in the eye.
“Look, Sam, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want, but I’m pretty sure you’re enjoying yourself,” Bucky informed, smirking as he ran his hand up Sam’s thigh. “Sure, we could talk, or I could do the tongue thing.”
“The tongue thing?” Sam asked, knowing exactly what Bucky was referring to. Bucky smirked and nodded. Sam bit his lip. “That’s not fair, Barnes. You know I can’t say no to that.”
“I know full well, darlin’,” Bucky replied, kissing behind Sam’s ear.
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” Sam stated. Bucky nodded in a “yeah, sure, whatever you say” way. “Now, get down there.”
“Aye, aye, Captain.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
...
Sam planned to stick to his word, even if Bucky didn’t have that same plan. So, the next night when Bucky sat down next to Sam on the couch, fully prepared to repeat the events of the night before, Sam stopped him.
“So, we’re actually gonna talk?” Bucky asked.
“Yeah,” Sam responded. Bucky groaned and not in the way that normally made Sam’s stomach flip. “This is really fun, and I really care about you. But, um, I want more.”
“More?” Bucky asked.
“More,” Sam confirmed. “I want a real relationship.”
“Oh, so you want to stop this so that you can get into a real relationship.”
“What? No, of course, not. I want a real relationship with you,” Sam explained. Bucky’s eyes went wide, and he jumped off the couch and started pacing. Sam remained sitting. “If that’s something you’re interested in, obviously. And, if it’s about not being ready, I can wait until you’re ready. I just want to know if there’s any chance at us having a future.”
“There’s not,” Bucky said plainly, not looking at Sam. Now, it was Sam’s turn to stand up.
“What?”
“Come on, Sam. We both know what this is,” Bucky told him, turning around to look at Sam. “We started this as a way to make me feel better after Steve, and you know it.”
“That’s not why I started it,” Sam replied softly and sincerely. Bucky let out a bitter laugh.
“Well, it’s why I started it,” Bucky informed him. “That’s all you are, Sam. You’re just a replacement for Captain America, for the whole world, but especially for me. And you know that deep down all I am is a replacement for Riley.”
Bucky regretted it the moment it left his mouth. He had no idea what had taken over him in that moment. He didn’t believe any of those things. He cared so much about Sam, and the look on Sam’s face shattered Bucky’s heart into a million pieces.
“I’m gonna go,” Bucky said. Sam nodded, but then his eyes went wide.
“Wait, no, where are you gonna go?” Sam asked, worried.
“Just for a walk,” Bucky responded. “I’ll be back.”
“Okay,” Sam said, and with that, Bucky was gone. Sam flopped down onto the couch that Bucky picked out for their apartment. “Fuck.”
...
Two hours later, Sam was positive that Bucky was never coming back. He told himself that Bucky must’ve cut his losses and moved on. Sam fucked everything up, and he knew it. He felt it too. He felt like absolute shit as he sat in Bucky’s bed wearing the hoodie that Bucky always told him was his favorite of Sam’s. He was about to start crying when he heard a knock on the door. He got up from the bed, unaware of who could possibly be at the door.
“Hey,” Bucky greeted when Sam opened the door. “I forgot my key. Sorry.”
“No worries,” Sam responded, walking away from the door to let Bucky in. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and started walking towards his room.
“It took me a long time to teach myself that I deserved love,” Bucky blurted out. Sam slowly turned around. “After a while, I really believed that I did. Steve, he, uh made me believe that I did. I wanted to die when I woke up. I deserved to die, but he told me that I was worth the world, and I believed him. I believed him, and then he fucking left me. He took that belief with him. If the only other person who believed I deserved to be loved left me, then I knew that I didn’t deserve anything. He fought for me, and then he gave up on me. I gave up on myself too.
“Then, um, I realized that he never fought for me. It was never for me,” Bucky explained. “I came to terms with that part of it. I still wasn’t sure about the whole ‘deserving love’ thing quite yet, but then there was you. You helped me when I was in my darkest place, and it wasn’t for you. You helped me because you wanted me to be better. Steve never did that. He saved me so that he could have me. You helped me because you wanted me to get myself back.
“I know that I deserve love, and so do you. You are the kindest to ever exist. You deserve to be Captain America, probably more than Steve did. You’re not a replacement for anything, and I know that I’m not either. I know that, and I’m so sorry that I let you believe anything else. If you still want, we can have a future together because as far as I’m concerned, there isn’t a universe where you aren’t in my life for the long run, Sam Wilson,” Bucky stated, finishing his little speech. He was looking into Sam’s eyes but Sam was just standing there not saying anything. Then, Sam broke eye contact by looking at the floor.
“After Riley died, I never thought I was going to love anyone ever again,” Sam stated. “And that was okay because I thought that he was the love of my life. I know now that sometimes you’re lucky enough to have more than one great love in your life. I only know that because of you. I didn’t know it was possible until I met you.
“You’re not a replacement for Riley, and you never will be. I’m always going to love Riley, and you’re always going to Steve. That doesn’t mean that we can’t love each other,” Sam explained. He smiled. “I do, by the way. I do love you, so much.”
“Oh, God, I love you so fucking much, Sam,” Bucky said, face splitting into a grin. “I need you to know that you’re not less than Steve in any way.”
“I know,” Sam said softly. He took a few steps forward so he was closer to Bucky. He played with the hem of Bucky’s shirt. “You love me?”
“I love you,” Bucky whispered back. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“When did you turn into such a sap, Barnes?”
“The moment I laid eyes on you, sweetheart,” Bucky joked, but he gave Sam a sweet kiss on the cheek all the same. “What do you say, Sammy? Wanna consummate this new relationship?”
“I don’t think that’s how that works at all, but yes, I do,” Sam replied, chuckling lightly before leaning forward to kiss Bucky.
...
Several hours later, Bucky was nuzzled under Sam’s arm in Sam’s bed. Well, he supposed that it was probably going to be their bed from now on. With that thought in his mind, he drifted into a deep sleep.
Bucky was back in his Brooklyn apartment in the forties. He smiled to himself as he looked around. Then, he saw a shadow in his old room.
“Hello?” Bucky asked, moving toward his room.
“Hey, Buck,” a voice said. All of the sudden, Steve, young Steve, was standing in front of Bucky. “I missed ya, jerk.”
“You’re dead,” Bucky said incredulously. “You died.”
“This is very clearly a dream,” Steve informed him. “It’s me, and I’m talking to you, but you’re asleep.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, please don’t.”
“I am sorry though,” Steve stated. “Extremely. The way I treated you was horrible, and I feel awful. I don’t regret what we had, I don’t regret our time together, but I also don’t regret my time with Peggy.”
“Okay.”
“I really did love you,” Steve said. “And I miss you more than words can say.”
“I miss you too, Steve, and I love you. I’ll always love you, but I really do think that it’s time to put you in the past,” Bucky stated, a tear falling from his eye. “It’s time for me to get my happy ending or middle or whatever. It’s time for me to live my life without you.”
“With Sam,” Steve said, a grin taking over his face. Bucky blushed. “I’m happy for you, both of you.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course.”
“Thank you,” Bucky said, voice just above a whisper.
“I hope you have a very happy life, Buck.”
“I think I will,” Bucky replied, looking down at the floor trying to hide his smile. “I’ll see you on the other side, pal.”
“Hopefully a long, long time from now.”
...
Bucky woke up with a smile on his face, but that smile went away when he realized that Sam wasn’t with him in bed anymore. He rubbed his eyes and groaned before getting out of the bed. When he walked out into the hallway, he smelled food cooking. The smile returned.
Sam was standing in front of the stove diligently cooking eggs just how he knew Bucky liked them. He was wearing sweats and no shirt, and Bucky’s heart skipped. He quietly walked up to him, wrapped his arms around his waist, and planted a kiss on the back of his neck.
“Sleep good?” Sam asked, turning his face so that Bucky could kiss him.
“Very,” Bucky responded against Sam’s lips. Sam smiled and Bucky kissed him again.
“What’s got you so romantic this morning?” Sam asked, turning back to his eggs.
“Just love you is all,” Bucky explained, tightening his arms around Sam’s waist and hooking his chin over Sam’s shoulder.
“I like hearing you say that,” Sam whispered.
“I like saying it,” Bucky whispered back. “I’m sure I’d like to hear you say it even more though, sweetheart.”
“I love you, old man,” Sam said with a smile. Bucky rolled his eyes. He pulled away with a groan.
“Nah, you hate me,” Bucky joked, sitting down at the counter. Sam rolled his eyes and put the eggs on a plate for Bucky.
“If I hated you, would I go out of my way to make your disgusting ass over easy eggs?” Sam asked, putting the place in front of Bucky.
“Maybe,” Bucky pouted. Sam raised his eyebrows at him. “Fine, maybe you love me.”
“Mhm,” Sam responded.
“Hey,” Bucky said, grabbing Sam’s hand before he went back to the stove to make his own breakfast. “I want to have happy mornings like this for the rest of our lives.”
“I can make that happen,” Sam said, planting a kiss on top of Bucky’s head.
Call him crazy, but Bucky thought that he finally met his soulmate. In fact, he knew it, and he knew he was going to have the happiest life with Sam.
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Wife and Child PT.8
An extremely overdue update. I am so thankful for all of you being so patient with me while I was dealing with shit and unable to write. Please enjoy :D Previous, Ao3, Master Post
Gail waded through the thick fog of sleep, roused by a familiar poke to her side. It happened almost every night, at about four o'clock in the morning the baby would fuss and kick, punch or hit Gail until she woke. Then Gail would spend the next ten minutes either talking to the baby or gently rubbing Holly's belly, and both would slip back to sleep. She rubbed at her eyes with her knuckles, her limbs heavy with exhaustion from the nights activity.
"Hey baby." She greeted quietly, beginning her usual pattern on Holly's belly. "I didn't think we would wake up this morning. Last night was... eventful to say the least."
Holly shifted, moving closer into her. Gail paused. She didn't want to wake the brunette.
"It's only a few days now till we're doing this in person, and I don't know about you but I'm pretty excited. And terrified. I don't want to freak you out or anything but I have no idea what I'm doing, I don't know how to parent."
Her own parents flashed into her head. The speeches, the drills, all the dread and hatred she felt growing up, the loneliness and abandonment, if all she could take from it was what not to do for this kid than it was all worth it in her eyes. She would work every damn day to be as far away from her parents example as possible.
She thought of the life ahead of herself and smiled. Soon there would be another person in that room with them. A person who would need her like no one ever had before. She watched as Holly's belly moved again.
"We are lucky though, you and me, because we have your mommy on our sides. She's going to be so good to you," she whispered idly tracing her fingers where the baby had appeared. She tried to imagine what they would look like. If they would have dark or light hair, if any at birth. She herself was bald at birth. Who's features they would have. She didn't know who's egg they had used, hers or Holly's, she hadn't even thought to ask. None of that matter though, happy and healthy were the only hopes she could send out. And maybe Holly's smile. Her stomach fluttered at the thought of a tiny baby with her wife's lopsided grin.
There was a soft bump to her hand and her heart grew two sizes.
"Its time to sleep now baby," she said leaning in and giving them a kiss. "I'll keep rubbing but I'm closing my eyes. Sweet dreams."
She drifted off into a peaceful sleep with images of a smiling baby in her wife's arms. She couldn't wait for it to come true.
"Honey wake up," Holly's voice woke her.
She rolled over onto her back and rubbed at her eyes, they were heavy to open so she peaked through one. She groaned in place of words. Holly was naked still, and beautifully lit by the morning light. It was the first time she truly got to soak in all the dips and curves of her wife. She remembered the night before, how soft and addicting her soft skin was. How she tasted. How she arched and quivered beneath her touch, her lips. A burning fire began deep in her stomach at the memory. Desire grew. She wanted to do that again and again. She was hooked on the doctor like an addict to drugs.
"My water broke," Holly interrupted her thoughts.
Her eyes sprang open and she sat up faster than she had known possible, "what?"
Holly smiled and pointed to the floor. There laid a puddle of water and what could only be described as guck.
She glanced between the hardwood and the brunette. Holly looked just as stunned as she felt. It was happening. The baby was coming, early, and it was happening right then and there whether or not they were ready. She wasn't ready. The due date wasn't for a few more days, she was supposed to have days! She didn't even know if she could hold a baby let alone care for one. She didn't know what she was thinking, she shouldn't have committed, shouldn't have kid herself into thinking she could be a mother.
She could feel a panic attack rising, "now," she half shouted. Her chest constricted, breathing fast enough to feel faint.
Holly immediately softened when she met her gaze. She took a deep breath and stepped toward the blonde, making sure to not step in the puddle. "Gail, you're not alone. I'm right here with you," Holly took her hand and soothingly rubbed her thumb back and forth. "Do you remember the plan?"
Her face lit up in recognition. The plan! They'd made several to be ready for all situations they could've found themselves in, including if they had been snorkelling in Hawaii and a giant squid was attacking them when Holly started going into labour.
She nodded. "You clean up all that," she gestured to all of her wife, "and I'll get the car ready. Don’t worry about the floor, I'll get that too."
Gail spun on her heel, focused on her check list. She'd need Holly's bag, the baby's bag, one for herself, lots of snacks (she'd have to see if they could swing by a store on their way because she ate the bag of cheese puffs already) and their laptops- She was interrupted by a shirt to the face.
"You might want to get dressed first," Holly smirked.
--
She caressed Holly's face with as much tenderness she could muster. She was blown away with what she was doing, bringing life into the world. It was mind boggling to think about, to watch before her very eyes. With all the crap her mother had put her through she had to give one prop to her for going through this hell twice.
She brushed stray hairs from Holly's forehead. "You are so strong," she told her with utter admiration.
Holly looked up at her, eyes baring all of her exhaustion, and smiled. "Don't feel like it right now," she replied.
Gail smiled back at her and gave her hand a squeeze, "it'll be done soon and we will celebrate with ice cream."
"I thought the celebration was a baby," Holly laughed.
"Sure the squish is great, like super awesome, but that's not something to celebrate with. Like your parents never congratulated you on good grades with a baby," she explained.
Her smile grew with amusement, "you got me there. What kind do you propose we get for this occasion."
Gail sat back in her seat as if in deep thought. "Well we could go with a classic like chocolate, or venture out and get moose tracks," she thought out loud.
"I could go for some-" Holly was cut off with a catch of her breath. Another contraction Gail recognised quickly. She got out of her seat to stand and put a reassuring arm around her wife. Every pain gutted her. She went through the breathing techniques Holly taught her, after a few reps her wife caught on and mimicked her until the contraction had passed. "I could go for some moose tracks," she finished her earlier sentence.
Gail chuckled, "I'll make a note so I don't forget."
Holly met her gaze and her eyes began to water, a tremble quivered her bottom lip as if she were an animation. She reached out and caressed Gail's cheek, "what would I do if you didn't came back to me?"
"Well," she began and grabbed to hold the hand from her cheek, "for starters you wouldn't have cheese dust all over your blanket right now."
Her wife burst out laughing, making her heart soar. They both glanced at what used to be a white blanket. "I hope they can get it out," Holly tried to rub a cheese finger print out with her hand.
Gail shrugged, "it's been blessed."
A nurse walked in with a cheery grin, "Mrs. Stewart there are a lot of officers here looking for you," she addressed Gail.
She looked to Holly surprised. Honestly she hadn't expected people to show up until later, like when the baby was out and ready for viewings. The brunette flashed her a heart warming smile and pushed her away, "go and say hi."
"I don't want to leave you, those dorks can wait."
"Just go say hi and if you can muster it, thank them for being here," she replied.
"Fine," she dragged out the word in reluctance.
She didn't take her time walking down the few halls to the waiting room, she was going to do as told and then go right back to where she belonged, beside her Nerd. When she round the corner she was stunned for a moment, there was a lot more in blue than she had anticipated. Almost everyone was there. Some lounged in seats chatting, some pacing the small space while scrolling their phone. Her gaze fell on a certain man in street clothes and rolled her eyes, of course Chris was setting up a refreshments table at a hospital.
"Is that really necessary," she asked pointing to a box of coffee on a corner table.
Chris smiled picking it up, "of course! We all know how crap the coffee is here and we are in for a long day. Tim's is needed," he stated pouring some into a fresh cup. She nodded in agreement. For once he's not wrong.
"That better be for me," she stated with teasing and warning laced together. She was dead, ten hours of labour would do that to you even if you weren't the one going through it. She could only imagine how Holly must have felt, and she couldn't have sludge to help her. Gail made a mental note to also get coffee when she got the ice cream.
Chris dutifully made her a cup and handed it over. "How's she holding up?"
"About as well as one can while preparing to push a cantaloupe through their vagina," she answered drily. That clammed him up enough to end that conversation so she moved on to sit with Traci.
She let out a long breath, sinking into the chair. Traci gave her a reassuring pat to the knee. Gail kept her eyes closed for a few beats, allowing herself to feel the reassurance her best friend offered. When she opened her eyes she looked around at all the officers in the waiting room, and for the first time in her life she felt whole. This was family, her family, a room full of care and love for her, Holly and their child. She smiled despite herself. It was finally happening.
"Thank you for being here Traci," she whispered so only they could hear. Traci nodded without a word or a glance, they didn't need any more than that.
--
Holly's pain, screams and grunts, filled the room. Gail didn't know what to do with herself. The breathing techniques stopped working forever ago and the brunette had felt crowded when she got too close to her face. She decided to go with a hand to hold and help to support Holly's leg with every push. "You've got this Nerd," she would say every now and again. "You're doing amazing. They're almost here."
After what felt like a lifetime, cries filled the room and everything paused. Everything in Gail paused at least. The wails of fresh lungs rang in her ears, filled every cell in her body with life. They were here. This was it, she was a mom. Nothing else mattered in whole world. She couldn't conceptualise the love and protectiveness she felt already for the tiny being. She would do anything, kill anyone. God, she would even hug McNally with the amount of joy she felt in that moment.
"Congratulations moms, it's a boy," the doctor announced as he handed the baby off to a nurse. The nurse was quick to wipe off some of the fluids and lay him onto Holly's chest.
Holly immediately went to cradle him, "hi baby," she cooed.
#thank you for reading and sticking with me!!#chester writes stuff#officer lunchbox#golly#gail peck#holly stewart#rookie blue
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Died a true guardian; Rocket raccoon x reader
*Author’s note*
Hey all well this request took some thinking and I feel like I may not have delivered to the fullest I can but I tried my best. So for the long waited Rocket raccoon angst request that both an anon and @guardiana6543 wanted, I hope this is still to your liking.
Warnings: ANGST, DEATH OF CHARACTER, words mentioned like slut and prostitution, so if this isn’t your cup of tea don’t give me any hate. I’m not asking you all to read this fic. But if you do read at your own risk.
Permanent taglist:
@psychosupernatural
@ixchel-9275
@plethora-of-things
@waddles03
______________________________________________________
“Of all the things in this world you just had to go and do that?!” I snapped.
“What?” Rocket said.
“We had a game plan Rocket. Get the information out of the guy by any means! And you just had to step in too early!”
“He had his hands allover you! What else was I supposed to do!?”
“Let me handle it. I know how to handle myself if a guy gets too handsy with me!”
“Uhh guys can I say something?” Peter spoke up.
“Shut up Quill!” both Rocket and I snapped.
“You’ve always gotta let your pride and anger take control of you. When will you learn to control that temper of yours Rocket? I have put up with that shit for 2 years since we started dating and 5 years since I’ve known you and I’m tired of it!”
“Hey, I’ll learn to control my anger issues when you learn to stop being such a slut when it comes to undercover missions!” At that word, it was just like being shot at (which I have been, multiple times by some of our bounties we’ve tried to find together before we met up with Quill).
“You did not just say that to me.” I muttered.
“Well what other word is there to use? Should’ve just left you there in that whorehouse to begin with, since that’s all you’re ever good for.” he sneered. I just glared at him and didn’t say another word as Quill spoke up again.
“Hey guys, hate to break up this little pow-wow session but our dude we tried to capture, he’s popped back up on our radar, but he’s not alone this time.” Rocket turned away from me and hopped into his chair and said.
“Lock in the coordinates.”
“This is my ship you aren’t the Captain here.” Quill spoke up. But everything else around me just muffled because all I kept hearing were rocket’s hurtful words.
He had some nerve to call me that. He should never have brought up my past like that. You maybe asking what he means well long story short ever since my mother died giving birth to me, my father wasn’t—well a kind soul. He never once acknowledged me and then once I got old enough, he sold me to a ‘prostitute house.’
There I learned how to seduce and swindle men. That’s how I actually came across Rocket and Groot—or well they came across me. For you see I wasn’t just going to allow men to do whatever it was they felt like they were allowed to do.
I’ve taken down men 5 times my size with just a kick and the right place for a knife to cause some serious pain without killing them or severing any main arteries.
“(Y/n)?” a soft voice spoke up and I felt a hand touch my shoulder and the voice said again, “You feel—betrayed. Hurt.”
“Mantis please take your hand off of me.”
“I am sorry. The puppy didn’t mean to say those things, I could tell he was just jealous of the fact that Peter choose you to distract our target.”
“Well you don’t know Rocket like I do. He’s a touch shell to crack but I’ve found the way, and when he talks a certain way to me, he always means it.” I said solemnly. I sighed heavily before I asked her, “How’s your power to make people feel things coming along?”
“I have greatly improved on it. But it is still not a permanent thing.”
“That’s fine. Just….make me forget about what just happened in the last five minutes.” I turned towards her pleading for it, I knew that if we needed to catch this guy then I couldn’t be distracted.
“(Y/n) I don’t…..”
“Please Mantis. I don’t care what it is you have to say in order to make me forget, just do it.” She looked down sadly before placing her hand on my shoulder and her antennas glowed blue as she said to me.
“Focus on the mission.” Suddenly the hurt washed away and I was consumed with the focus of the mission at hand.
“Okay so get Quill and Gamora, I’ve got a plan in mind.”
We soon arrived at the location of our target Quill and Rocket landed the ship and we all exited the Milano and began circling the perimeter cutting off all escape routes for our target. I was with Gamora as we went to the right and that’s when I heard her say.
“(Y/n). About what happened earlier…..”
“Not now Gamora, please I—I’d rather not talk about it.”
“But (y/n)….”
“Gamora. Not now.” I snarled softly at her. The two of us stared each other down before she backed off and said.
“Alright, I understand. But when we get done with capturing this guy, I’d like to keep talking about this. I—I may not know much about relationships as I am still learning, but I do know that company of other women can help.” My eyes softened and I said.
“I have heard that before. Thank you Gamora.” She nodded and we continued to walk forward until we both stopped and there was our target.
Serial bounty hunter killer Naveen Samir. He’s wanted not only by the Nova Corp but 12 other systems as well, including the Kree government. He’s well known for killing any and all bounty hunters from every single part of the galaxy. Rumor has it that he’s known to detect whether one is out on the hunt for a good bounty just by simply looking into your mind.
And since the—well my previous life before becoming a Guardian of the galaxy taught us how to lie extremely well and how to make someone think you’re only after one thing, I was the best candidate for the ‘trade off’ before the guys would attack, but then you all know what happened after that.
And now here we are at attempt #2 of trying to stop this homicidal maniac.
We watched as Mantis slowly came up towards Naveen. Since she was the quietest person for a sneak attack. We figured she could use her powers to either make him sleep or think that he couldn’t move his legs in order to run. But as Mantis kept walking towards Naveen, I kept hearing Rocket’s words in my head.
‘Should’ve just left you there in the first place. I’ll learn to control my anger issues when you learn to stop being such a slut when it comes to undercover missions!’ I shook my head trying to rid of it when suddenly we heard the sound of Mantis’ grunting. We both looked to see Naveen gripping her throat.
“You are scared.” Mantis’ antennas glowed but shockingly it didn’t work. Her eyes widened in fear and Naveen said.
“Specialized empathic conductor. With this headband your powers are useless against me.” He then tossed her aside like a piece of garbage. Mantis fearing for her life, backed away from him as Naveen proclaimed, “Now where are the rest of the Guardians of the galaxy? Too afraid to come out and play with the big boys?”
“Damn it, just go for it. Go! Go! Go!” Quill’s voice spoke through our commlinks and soon it was just a sudden burst of a fight. First he managed to kick Drax to the side before literally flipping in the air and dodged both Rocket’s and Quill’s gunfire. Now Gamora and I were trying to attack, with the levels of training we both had, we managed to at least stay on him sword on sword.
The two of us trying to bring him down but he soon kicked Gamora’s leg so hard that he actually broke it. She let out an agonizing scream before being kicked aside and suddenly I found myself locked in his arms, his and my sword up against my neck and my back against his chest.
“To be honest, I expected a bit more. After all you did promise a fun time.”
“Then let’s have some fun.” I sneered as I slammed the heel of my boot into the front of his before headbutting him and getting free of his grasp. The two of us went at each other’s heads with our swords almost doing a dance around each other until our swords crossed and he tried to get the upper hand by using his upper body strength to try and make me kneel down.
I held on as strong as I could until our swords slid across each other and like a whip, he kicked me right in the chest sending me backwards. He chuckled as he walked towards me.
“Hey dickbag!” Rocket’s voice came up. We both turned to see Rocket scarred up and bleeding but he held his gun and aimed it right at Naveen. “Didn’t you learn your lesson the last time?”
“I did, in fact that’s why I came better prepared.” Suddenly a detonator appeared into his hand. “Get rid of the jealous lover before you make your move.” He then pressed the button and suddenly the ground under Rocket’s feet began to crumble until he suddenly fell through.
“ROCKET!!” I didn’t hesitate. I raced towards the crater and fell down into it hoping that I would reach him. I extended my hand out to him but it soon got so dark I couldn’t even see a thing and next thing I knew was pain, dust and the sound of rubble still falling down on top of me.
*Rocket’s POV*
When I finally came around, I let out a pained groan and reached for my torch hoping it was still working. Thank kriff it was, although; it flickered but with a couple of smacks it was finally lit up.
“(Y/n)? (Y/n) are you there?” Oh god where is she? Please tell me she’s not buried underneath all this rubble. Slowly I managed to get up, feeling nothing but soreness. “(Y/n)!? (Y/n), where are you?” I suddenly heard a groan and when I shined my light to the right, there was (y/n) lying on her side under a large piece of rubble.
I quickly ran over to her and touched her cheek softly calling out to her.
“(Y/n), baby say something c’mon. (Y/n) you okay?” She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at me.
“R-Rocket?”
“Hang on babe I’m gonna get you out.” I quickly moved aside any of the smaller rocks aside before trying and trying to lift up the boulder that was crushing her.
“Rocket.”
“Just shut up and hold still will yah? I’m gonna get you out.”
“You can’t…..”
“The hell I can’t.” I growled as I tried to lift the rubble again and I wouldn’t stop until I felt her cup the side of my face.
“Rocket, you—you’ll always be the love of my life.”
“Why are you talking like that? I’m not gonna let you die here! I’ll get you out I promise.”
“You can’t—because it’s too late.” She looked down and that’s when I shined the light to finally see blood pooling down from between the rubble. “My—I think a pipe has gone through my left side. I can feel something poking through me.” She then coughed out blood.
“No, no, no, no, no, no please (y/n) look at me. Keep your eyes on me!” I pleaded with her.
“I feel—so numb. I…..Rocket….”
“Just hang on baby, the guys will find us. We’ll get you out and I’ll take care of you. Just hang on, please.” I sat down and leaned her head against my leg while I stroked through her hair. “Please…..I can’t lose you too.” When I looked down at her I saw that she wasn’t breathing. “Baby? Baby doll?” I shook her head and held my hand to her nose hoping to feel her breath.
I didn’t.
Tears filled my eyes and I held her as I sobbed and blubbered hysterically.
I don’t know how long it was, but finally Quill and the others managed to find us but when they saw me crying by (y/n)’s dead body, they knew it was too late for her.
On the Milano much like we did with Yondu, we dressed up her wound, made her look beautiful once again and covered her face up with wraps as surrounding around her were her two swords. We sent her down the hatch where her body burned and her ashes went off into space.
My eyes were red as my heart was nothing but broken pieces. The last thing I ever said to her was that she was a slut, now I can never take it back. I can never apologize to her, and now in death she’ll always remember that being the last thing I ever said to her.
“I am Groot.” Groot spoke up as I felt his hand come to my shoulder.
“She might’ve. But it’s too late for me to apologize to her.”
#Guardians of the Galaxy#guardians of the galaxy fanfiction#guardians of the galaxy imagines#guardians of the galaxy imagine#guardians of the galaxy fandom#Rocket Raccoon#rocket raccoon oneshot#rocket raccoon imagine#rocket raccoon x reader#rocket raccoon imagines#rocket raccoon angst
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Masahiko adjusted his headphones as he jogged through the park. He loved to go on morning jogs because it was peaceful. He had time to think and process information he learned the night before. He jogging came to a stop as he took a minute to catch his breath. He watched as a few ducks swam around in the pond, making smile him at the baby ducklings.
Jageun got up early to feed the ducks at the nearby park on his days off. HE would sit near the pond with a bucket of duck feed, enjoying their company until it got too warm or the ducks left him alone, whichever came first. Today, he was talking to the older ducks as he fed them, pausing as he caught sight of the other jogging by. When he stopped, he waved. “Morning!” he called.
Masahiko looked up in the direction of where to voice came from. He felt like he had been smacked in the face from how beautiful the boy was. He had never seen such beauty before and that was saying something since he was part ccubi. “Hey there good morning! I’ve never seen you out here before.” Masahiko questioned as he tightened his show string.
Jageun shrugged. “I usually sleep in cuz I work the late shift at work.” he answered. “But on days off, I come to feed the ducks.” he said, holding up the small bucket of duck feed. “How’s your morning?” he asked, tilting his head as one fo the baby ducks walked over to tug at his pants leg, Turning, he moved to get a handful of feed and hold it out for the duckling, smiling as he watched it eat.
Masahiko lifted his shirt to wipe his face a bit. “Those babies seem to love you. You better be careful they might follow you home.” Masahiko chuckled as he walked over a sat down in the grass to watch the ducklings eat.
Jageun laughed a little. “They haven’t followed me yet.” he assured. “I’m not around often enough for them to get attached to.” he admitted, watching as the other joined him. “Want some?” he offered, holding out the bucket. “They like this feed.”
Masahiko held his hand out for the boy to pour the feed into. He watched a duckling waddled up to him and began to eat out of his hand. He smiled at the small creature, always wanting a small pet. “I’m Masahiko. Yamada Masahiko.”
Jageun smiled as one of the ducklings went to the other, smiling as he tilted his head. “I’m Jageun. Byeol Jageun.” he replied, attention turning to one of the older ducks. “Nice to meet you, Masahiko. Do you jog every morning?”
Watching the small animal walk away, Masahiko laid down in the grass. “Yep, I do a morning run every morning before breakfast.” As right on queue his stomach growled. “Speaking of breakfast it’s about that time. Wanna come with? I’ll pay.” Masahiko offered to the smaller boy.
Jageun looked up with a tilt of his head, blue hair falling into his face as he smiled. “Sure, sounds like fun.” he agreed, moving to get up. He dusted off his pants, watchign as the ducks returned to the water, one of the older ones quacking before joining. Jageun waved at them. “See you next time, guys!” he promised, turning back to Masahiko. “So, where are we going?”
Masahiko pointed behind him to the cafe. “There’s a small family run cafe over there I usually go to. I promise the food is to die for.” Masahiko started to walk over to the cafe and held the door open for Jageun. The two walked over to the table that was close to the window and looked at the menu. “Hmm. What do I want? I’m thinking the protein plate. What about you?”
Jageun followed along with the other, sitting down and looking over. “Hmm…I don’t know. My sisters and I usually cook our meals.” he answered. “We usually only go out to eat for dinners.” he laughed a little, running a hand through his hair. “I do like this omelette meal, though. The blueberry pancakes sound really good.”
Masahiko smiled at Jageun. He was really cute and adorable. He made Masahiko want to put him in his pocket. “I recommend the pancakes. They are to die for.” Masahiko said with a wink.
Jageun couldn’t help but smile as they talked. He knew he’d probably have to go home when breakfast was over, or at least let his sisters know where he was. The day was his to do as he pleased, but he didn’t want to worry either of the girls. “Thank your for inviting me.” he said, giving his order when the waiter came up. He chose to go with the omelette and pancakes, ordering an orange juice to drink. “Is there anything you wanna know about me?”
After each of them gave their order to the waitress Masahiko spoke. “You can tell me your life story if you want. I have all day. Plus I’m a really good listener.” Masahiko said with a wink, as he ran his tongue over his lip ring.
“Life stories can be long, you know.” Jageun teased. “There’s not much for me to say? I live with my sisters, and mt dream is to become an idol one day. Though that window is kind of closing since I’m already 23.” He chuckled a little, but relaxed back into his seat. “I work nights usually, but on my days off, I come to see the ducks and feed them.” He looked up as their drinks were brought, thanking the waiter before taking a drink of his juice. “What about you?”
“I’m a part time college student by day and a mechanic by night.” Masahiko took a sip of his Americano. “I moved here to get away from a really complicated past life I guess. I just wanted to get away and be normal.” Masahiko shrugged a bit as he looked through the window.
Jageun smiled at the other as he took another drink of his juice. “A mechanic, huh? Sounds like fun. A bit messy but fun.” He tilted his head, brushing his bangs back when blue tresses fell into his face. “Normal can be fun.” he smiled, head titling a little. “You alright?” he asked, noticing the look on the other’s face.
Masahiko looked back at the smaller of the two. “Yeah I’m fine. I just-. You don’t smell it?” Masahiko was confused. He could definitely see the cloud that surrounded him. No matter where he went he always got strange looks from people. He wondered if Jageun could smell it or if somehow if he was immune ti it.
Jageun tilted his head at the question. “Smell?” he asked. He closed his eyes, taking a slow breath, opening his eyes. “I smell food, my juice. Your coffee is super strong even with a lid.” he pointed out, a burst of colors just barely visible around his pupils as he watched. “Should I smell somethign else?”
Masahiko’s mouth hung open. “Are you in a relationship or something? That’s the only way that you wouldn’t be able to smell it. I don’t actually have full control of it yet. I mean I only found out about it before I moved out here.” Masahiko was rambling so much that he didn’t see the look Jageun was giving him. “I’m sorry I should probably explain myself. I’m part ccubi.”
Jageun arched a brow as the rainbow in his eyes faded. “Nope, just me.” he said confidently, blue hair moving as he shook his head. “Part ccubi? Nice. I’m a nymph.” he answered. “But I can be immune to some things, so that may be why?” He lifted a finger to tap it on his bottom lip, humming thoughtfully.
To say that Masahiko wasn’t shocked was a understatement. He has never met anyone who wasn’t in a relationship that couldn’t smell him. “I have no words. This is the first ever. I think I’ll keep you.” Masahiko grinned as he took a long drink of his coffee.
Jageun blinked, giving a smile. “Wow, that’s quick.” he teased. “But if you want to be my boyfriend, you have to meet my sisters.” He sipped his drink, thanking the waiter as their food arrived. He moved to cut into his omelette, watching Masahiko. “But let’s get a few dates in first, yeah? Dal can be protective.”
Masahiko smiled and cut into his pancakes. “I understand, I agree we need to get to know each other a little better. I don’t know what it’s like to have siblings but my dads were extremely protective of me.” Masahiko took a bite of his food and let out a moan of happiness. “Man these are delicious.”
Jageun smiled as he tilted his head. “I don’t know what it’s like to have my parents around.” he countered. “So we balance out there.” He took a few bites as he thought. “You know, if you want, you could come by the cafe on your days off when I’m working and we could have lunch?” he offered, smiling at the ccubi.
“That sounds great. Here put your number in my phone so you can send me your schedule.” Masahiko said as he slide his phone across the table.
#normalabnormalityofmultimuses#Masahiko Y.#c; Jageun#a twinkle in the dark;; Jageun Byeol#t; Blooming Love#beauty to stun the world;; Jageun x Masahiko
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Ignis moves into a new town, to take temporary ownership of a small cafe as his uncle recovers. Its people are friendly enough, his neighbors quick to receive him with housewarming gifts, and he easily finds himself falling for the quaint little place.
Even for the friendly creature lurking outside his window, skin pale as the moon and hair gleaming with black starlight.
Simple: Home
Pairing: Ignis/Noctis
Rating: G
@ignoctweek
With the jingle of his keys, Ignis pops the trunk open and grabs at his scant belongings: a single large suitcase and a duffel bag. The parking garage echoes loudly as he firmly shuts the trunk and locks his car, and he slings his bag over his shoulder while he takes to the elevator, rolling his suitcase behind him.
It’s a quiet ride up to the fifth floor, alone as he is during this afternoon. Limbs weary and dry eyes blinking from his six-hour drive from Insomnia to Delia — a quaint little seaside town in Cleigne — he manages a tired smile when he plucks his phone from his pocket, scrolling through the texts shared with his uncle. He shoots a quick message to the man, to let him know he’s arrived safely at the condominium and was now riding up the elevator, before pocketing his phone again.
The elevator slows, chiming sharply when it finally stops, and Ignis winces just slightly at the shift in gravity that needles at his head — he's always hated that. Though all things considered, there’s not much choice aside from getting used to it, he supposes. He’ll be living here for a while. When the metal doors part to let him through, he steps over to the directory, perched on the wall just across from him, and searches for his unit number. ‘Units 500-510 to the left… 511-520 on the right.’
He follows the right hallway, eyes keeping track of the plaques next to the doors. He quickly passes by units 514 and 515, pauses at 516 to fumble through his keys and find the one his uncle handed him — a bronze key with a tiny cactuar sticker on it — and turns it in the heavy lock of the door. A click. And he’s home.
Ignis steps through into the foyer, quickly foregoing his manners and kicking his shoes off, and makes a bee line for the couch in the living area.
He tosses his keys onto the coffee table, but he miscalculates and it skids across the surface to fall onto the floor. He thinks nothing of it and lets the handle of his suitcase fall out of his hand, lets his bag slip off his shoulder and down his arm, as he all but throws himself into the couch. Ignis rolls onto his back, props his feet and head up on either ends as he throws his arms and stretches with a loud groan. He can feel and hear his spine pop and stretch and decompress and whatever the hell bones and joints do, and he receives it all with gratitude and relief. He’s never made such a long drive before, especially not a straight course distance with no breaks, and he silently chastises himself for not stopping at the rest area when he had the chance. It was killer on his back and legs.
Well, lesson learned.
He allows himself this moment’s respite, stretched and sprawled out on the couch with his eyes closed, until a chime from his phone interrupts the silence. He fishes it out of his pants and looks at the screen. A reply from his uncle. Ignis swipes his finger across the notification and reads the entire message, a short thank you and some reminders. He taps out a message of his own, assuring that it was no problem at all and that in fact, he’s rather excited for this new venture. There’s a few more texts sent back and forth until he puts the phone down on his chest.
“Alright,” Ignis huffs after a few more minutes of idling, lightly patting down his cheeks, “Time for work.”
He swings his legs over the couch and plants his feet on the floor, standing with his hands held squarely onto his hips. He crosses the living space and opens a small closet, finds a vacuum, a mop and bucket, some disinfectants and sprays. He goes for the vacuum first, plugging it into the nearest outlet. Then goes to town on the condo.
It’s early evening by the time he’s done scrubbing down the walls and floors, done dusting the shelves and airing out the sheets. He finishes the last of his housekeeping when he puts away the last of his folded shirts into the drawer, and he checks the time to see if it’s not too early for dinner. Between making a homemade meal for tonight or trying out the local fare instead, he chooses the latter. While his unit is completely furnished and decorated, the refrigerator and pantry are bare and dry. Ignis thinks it’s too much of a goal to completely stock his kitchen, too many trips in the elevator that he cares for in one go, so he may as well start with a small trip and work his way from there.
He’s locking up his door when he meets his first neighbor, the resident in 515 by the looks of it. Immediately his first impression is that of a spunky young blonde, more of a boy than a young adult, with his naive but inviting smile that threatens to blind Ignis with all the strength of a midday sun.
“Hey there!” The man is loud too. He trots over to Ignis, a distinct pep in his gait, and offers a hand. “Just moved in?”
“Indeed. Pleased to meet your acquaintance,” Ignis takes the offer in a quick handshake. “Ignis Scientia.”
“Prompto Argentum here,” the blonde replies, raising his eyebrows, “And like, Scientia? Like Vincent Scientia?”
“He would be my uncle, yes. Do you know him?”
“Oh, duh. I technically pay my rent to him. He owns all the units on this floor, y’know.”
Ignis knew his uncle had made investments here and there, that his sizeable wealth wasn’t coming only from the little cafe he owned. He knew his uncle owned the unit he just moved into, that he had extra furnishings delivered solely for Ignis’s new residence, that he refused to have his nephew pay rent for the condo. But he didn’t know his uncle owned all the units on the fifth floor.
“Plus, his pumpkin croissants are to die for, man.”
And he didn’t know that his uncle’s croissants were apparently famous. It was Ignis’ turn to raise his eyebrows. “I didn’t know his oven was so popular.”
“And his coffee. He has the best little coffee shop around here. I only worked there part time, but it was like, the greatest employee perk to take home the day’s leftovers. Everyone was so sad when we heard about the stroke too. Is the old guy okay?” Prompto’s bright smile lost its radiance then, concern etching along his eyes and mouth.
“He’s faring quite well, thank you. He won’t be returning to work for a while, but they’re optimistic.” While Ignis is genuinely appreciative of the care and worry over his uncle’s wellbeing, he wonders just how much of a mini celebrity his uncle is. And of what else he has yet to tell Ignis.
“Oh, that’s good. It’s a shame we’ll have to settle for Starbucks now, but it’s great that he’s doing okay.”
“Ah, about that.” Ignis smiles. “It’s why I’ve moved here.”
As they make down the elevator, he explains his whole motive for coming to Cleigne in the first place. How Uncle Vincent, once he was able, had called Ignis and asked if his darling nephew was interested in putting his recent business degree to use, if he would like to try his hand at running his cafe over in Cleigne. That the trip from Insomnia may be long, but room and board would be covered and free, that his ever-wise and ever-humble uncle had a condo open and free for a new tenant named Ignis. That he knew his nephew would be bored out of his mind working in an office cubicle in a stuffy suit and tie, that coming over to Delia and running the ovens and espresso machines would be leagues more fun.
And that he agreed with his uncle, that kneading his fingers into dough while surrounded by the strong aroma of coffee was more of his element, that his business degree was something he had earned only because his parents were iffy on sending him to culinary school.
“And, if you have the time, would you be interested in working at the cafe again? As eager as I am, I’m afraid I’ve little real-life experience in managing a business,” Ignis says, as they walk along the sidewalk outside the condominium. “Your insight would be extremely helpful and appreciated, Prompto. And it goes without saying you’ll be paid for your work. We could discuss a raise, even.”
“Dude, hell yeah I’ll work again. Between my classes and finals, I haven’t found the time to go job hunting. Man, if not for the paycheck, then I’ll do it for those sweet, sweet pumpkin croissants, baby.” Prompto winks and throws a pair of sidelong finger-guns at Ignis.
Ignis cracks a smile, amused at the other’s light-hearted fun. They discuss possible work hours, wages, responsibilities, and so forth, even as they walk into the local Crow's Mart. Eventually, of course, their conversation turns away from work and leans toward Prompto giving Ignis a rundown of the town, what restaurants to check out and which ones to avoid like the Scourge, or which neighbors to keep away from “like that weird lady who has this creepy taxidermy hobby and probably has five stuffed cats in her bedroom.”
Ignis cooks dinner for two that night, and he tries not to gloat too much when Prompto stuffs his face with rice and chicken, eyes sparkling as he showers the man with nothing but praise muffled between forkfulls of food.
While Ignis found himself pleasantly surprised with such a friendly and outgoing neighbor in Prompto, he didn't expect the same for the rest of the fifth floor tenants. Didn’t expect for the next three mornings, for more neighbors to come knocking at his door. For them to come bearing gifts in their hands and warm welcomes on their lips.
Gladio was a mountain of a man, a scar over his left eye and an impressive tattoo over his muscled arms and chest, the sight enough to scare off any petty thug. Ignis was almost startled out of his mind when he opened his door to see the hulking man in nothing but a tight tank top, until he saw Prompto at his side with his typical blinding smile. Gladio held up a gift basket with a small bouquet of flowers and a small box of chocolates, at which Ignis thought would be more suited given to a potential date than a welcome gift. Gladio seemed to read his mind, admitting that this was on short notice and the florist's he worked at had nothing better. But Ignis was grateful nonetheless, and he carefully placed the flowers in a decorative vase he rinsed out and placed in the kitchen.
Cindy was a pleasant woman, with all her southern charm and hospitality. Ignis was eating the chocolates when he had heard her playful knocking at the door. She stepped right on in and gushed about how homey his place was, that she particularly liked the little coeurl statue sitting on the shelf. He could barely give his thanks when she turned on him and took both his hands to drop a gift bag in them, before pulling him into a tight hug, and surely a lesser man would have blushed as her… Gifts pressed against him. He offered her some coffee but was declined, saying her father needed her at the auto shop, but that Ignis could definitely drop by at the mechanics if “Yer gal's ever needin’ a fixin’, sweetie. Or if ya need a guinea pig to taste test ol’ Vince's brew.”
Or at least, that's what Ignis thought she said. The gift bag was a mini assortment of shower gels and lotions, all with a hint of citrus, and two sets of face masks, and were set in the bathroom, though Ignis wasn't sure if he'd ever use the masks. (His five-step routine did the job quite well at the moment.)
Takka was an older fellow and not even from the fifth floor but from the second. His visit was short, though he greeted Ignis with a chickatrice and beans casserole. He learned the man owned the diner a couple blocks down, and Takka boasted he cooked the best damn homemade meals in this side of Delia. Ignis humored him and promised to taste his food there one day, even if he had his doubts about the cook's claims. Takka only asked to let him know when the Cafe would be up and running again, because he sure missed those pumpkin croissants. (Ignis really wondered if those croissants were as delicious as everyone kept making them out to be.) When Ignis took his first bite of the casserole, he was determined to weasel the recipe out of Takka the next time they met.
A few old ladies even came by — none of them the one Prompto had warned him about — and brought cookies and a knitted scarf and well wishes. An old couple gave him candles and a blanket, a young man a bottle of wine and a tupperware set, another some more flowers in a glass vase.
It was all very heartwarming. And as much as he appreciated their gestures, it was also almost overwhelming.
Which is why he makes sure to wake up at the crack of dawn this morning, foregoing his casual but sleek attire for a set of loose sweats. Breakfast is a dull affair, simply eggs and buttered toast, and he makes a hasty trip to the elevators in case someone spots him and lays down more gifts before him.
He chooses the thirty-minute walk over the car ride, and strolls along comfortably in the cool mist of the rising sun, admiring the humble town. It's just a bit chilly this spring morning, but the walk and rising temperatures warm him enough and the sights are sufficiently distracting. The well worn buildings are nothing compared to Insomnia's high-rising towers and neon billboards, but there's still a touch of modern and urban living. Delia looks to be an old town with its wood and stone eroded from years of salt and moisture, yet it's still very much alive and kicking.
The sign reads “Bervenia” in a simple large script, perched right in the center and above the door. He peers in through the wide glass windows, smiles at the nostalgia of it all, and unlocks the front door. It's a bit dark, considering the lights are off and the sun has yet risen to its full glory, and the chairs are set atop the few tables, but it's mostly as he remembers it all those years ago, when he visited his uncle during his childhood. His memory of Bervenia may be a little fuzzy, but he remembers the patchwork tiles and the soft lavender wallpaper quite clearly. The refrigerated display, though, is new. He only remembers his uncle offering goods to eat warm or at room temperature. But to be frank, he expected more changes and additions other than a display case, given all the years.
Heading to the back, Ignis checks the time on his phone and swipes through his contacts. He shoots a quick text to Prompto, asking if he'd be willing to help clean up the cafe should he have the time. It's still a bit early in the morning and a Saturday, so he hopes his text doesn't interrupt his neighbor's sleep. A short beat later and his screen at least confirms Prompto is awake.
Sure! B there in 20
No use in dilly dallying in the meantime. Ignis rolls up his sleeves and sets to work.
He’s immensely thankful for Prompto’s help, who promptly (Heh) came in with a thin sheen of sweat on his skin. He’s a runner, he told Ignis, and that he’s typically up at these hours for his morning jogs. Meaning, Ignis didn’t need to worry about waking him up at Saturday’s early hours.
Only a month out of commission and the poor thing was covered in dust; not to mention the fridge’s contents had gone rancid. That had been a smelly affair, much to the blonde’s dramatics. But with their combined efforts, they managed to clean up for the most part. Prompto had left an hour ago, much to Ignis’ insistence, considering he kept the poor man far past lunch time.
Ignis finishes wiping down the espresso machines and throws the dirty rag into a bin, finishing up the day’s cleaning. He takes a quick peruse of their inventory, taking into consideration what needs to be restocked or replaced. He has yet to test all their machines, but he’s confident they’re all in working order. In any case, he’ll make sure to confirm everything’s functional in the following days; no need to rush since he has to wait to restock their shelves first.
As he takes a gander through their supplies, he notices there’s just enough ingredients to try his hand at baking. He remembers the little box of recipes in the office, so he rummages through the drawers for the small wooden box and searches through the laminated cards for a muffin recipe.
‘How old fashioned,’ he thinks, smiling to himself as he brings the card over to the counters. He makes a mental note to make a digital copy of all the recipes, just in case; he’d hate to lose them all in a fire or storm, and a back-up is always a good idea.
Ignis makes a quick trip to the gas station down the street, to pick up the perishables that the recipe calls for, and makes it back to the cafe in quick order. He skims over the ingredients and puts the card aside, reaching into the cabinets for bowls and flour and whatever else his uncle instructed. It’s simple enough, a standard muffin batter, with just a few personal flairs that make it unique, though Ignis isn’t sure about the dash of hulldagh nutmeg. He adds it anyway, because surely there’s a reason his uncle underlined it in bold green highlighter.
By the time the chocolate muffins are done, the sun had already set. He cleans up quickly as he lets them cool on a rack, then gathers them all in a couple paper bags once he’s done putting everything away. When he locks up Bervenia for the night, the fresh cool air hits him all at once and already he finds himself missing the aroma of the oven and spices. It’s something he could easily find himself falling in love with for sure.
The streets light up as the sun dips ever lower into the horizon, its orange and yellow hues disappearing into the dark of the night sky. Ignis wants to believe in the peace and safety of the town, but he can’t help but keep his pace brisk as he avoids the growing shadows and dubious corners. It’s safe for all his uncle has told him, but his time in Insomnia tells him otherwise. The Crown City may be a bright glistening thing with all its lights and sounds and thrumming engines, but not even its neon lights could ward off the dangers that lurk in her dark streets and narrow alleyways.
The stars have just begun to peek out when he makes it to the condominium. He knocks on Prompto’s door, to offer him a bag of muffins for his help today, but no response has him carrying both bags back to his condo. He’s searching through his cabinets for the smaller tupperware gifted to him, so that he can drop them off to Prompto in the morning, when he hears a suspicious rattling from his balcony. He automatically thinks cat, but he remembers there are no trees that reach above the third floor; and pets aren't allowed. There's a possibility that someone's hiding one anyway, but the long distance between the adjacent balconies makes him doubt it. Birds maybe? It's night, however, and they should all be roosting.
It could be an owl. But then it's a distinctive knocking — three bold raps — and Ignis nearly jumps out of his skin at the sheer loudness of it. He gingerly steps over to the balcony door, his phone in hand just in case he needs to call security, and he pulls the heavy curtain aside with a sharp rattle and. Oh.
Hm.
A young man stands there, one hand in his jacket pocket and the other waving at him. Ignis is so thrown out of his zone that he barely catches the “Hi” the stranger-possibly-burglar-slash-serial-killer mouths to him.
Common sense dictates he calls security, right now. But Ignis is too busy wondering how and why and where. There's no trees to climb, no ladder to reach up so far, and there's too large a distance from the neighboring balcony to even think of making the jump. And unless this man is some sort of professional stuntman who is deeply invested in parkour, it's almost impossible he climbed down from above without sporting some broken ankles or other bones. And he looked perfectly fine with his sheepish grin and bright eyes, no sign of injury or pain anywhere.
Maybe he's hallucinating, maybe it's all the fumes from the detergents he used while cleaning up Bervenia , or maybe instead of nutmeg, his uncle had stashed away some sort of hallucinogenic drug in the spice rack, and he had inadvertently laced his chocolate muffins because this made absolutely no sense and —
The man's tapping pulls him out of his bout of panic. Again, logic tells him he really should just call security , but instead he makes a completely absurd decision and unlatches the sliding door, cracking it open just enough to fit a man's finger through.
“Hey, is Vincent here?” the intruder asks.
Vincent. Uncle Vincent.
“…No.” Ignis answers before he can stop himself, and he silently berates himself for his chain of bad decisions. It’s that terrifyingly disarming smile, he tells himself, that the man offers him.
“Oh. Really? I thought I smelled his muffins,” he says, his posture suddenly turning awkward. He shifts his weight between his feet, one hand reaching back to idly scratch at his neck. “Sorry, my bad.”
“I baked them.” Okay. Ignis visibly cringed at how quickly he responded. “They’re my uncle’s, ah, Vincent’s recipe.”
He purposely ignores the fact that this man claimed the smell of his chocolate muffins as the reason for this unannounced visit. Ignores that it was not at all normal to knock at someone’s (fifth floor) balcony instead of the front door. And especially ignores that, on closer inspection, his skin looks so pallid it’s almost translucent, his hair so black it melts into the night sky and stars danced among his locks. He looks almost ethereal .
“Oh! You’re his nephew then. He mentioned you a few times, just graduated from university and all that, yeah?”
“Yes, I’m here to take care of the shop in his stead.”
“That explains it.” The man’s chest puffs up visibly as he takes in a deep breath. “You smell like Bervenia, so I thought he was back.”
“Would you… perhaps like a muffin?” he said, against his better judgment — which could strangle him right now if it had hands.
“Hell yes.”
Ignis turns his back — a death wish if this man truly meant any harm — and plucks out the treat from the bag. He quickly returns to the door, relieved and delighted that the balcony intruder didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to see through with any heinous plans he may have had. Ignis widens the door, just enough to slip his hand through, and drops it off in the other’s palm.
“Thanks a bunch. I’ve been craving his goodies lately, been really missing his pumpkin croissants. Can you make those too?”
Again, those pumpkin croissants.
“I’ve never tried, but I don’t see why I can’t.”
“Cool, thanks again for the muffin. Say hi to Vincent for me, too.”
Ignis barely got the time to nod when the man backed away to place one hand on the railing and then —
Jumps over the fucking railing.
Ignis throws open the door and takes the three fastest steps he had ever taken in his entire life, a lightning speed compared to Field Day at high school when he had been delegated as the final runner in the baton pass. His torso lurches over the edge, and he half expects to see a blood splatter on the concrete, to maybe call emergency services after all.
But there’s nothing. Everything is still, quiet. No body, no blood, not even a passerby walking down the sidewalk.
“Uncle, this condo wouldn’t happen to be haunted, would it? I believe I’ve just met a ghost.”
“Oh, Ignis my boy, of course not. Only a vampire.”
“Ah, yes, of course… Pardon?”
After a riveting half hour spent on the phone with his uncle, Ignis tries through the motions, to recreate his normal, typical nightly routine, and charges his phone on the nightstand. He returns to the kitchen, boils some water in his electric kettle, and spoons in some loose-leaf tea into a steel filter. He takes a sip out of his mug, warm and comforting in both his hands. Then one more.
Alright, no. This isn’t working.
So instead of trying to feign normalcy, he dumps his tea down the sink and heads back to his bedroom, where he sinks into the mattress and stares at the ceiling. Ignis breathes in deep and reviews what his uncle had told him, instead of trying to shove it away and ignore it all.
And according to his uncle, the not-burglar-slash-serial-killer is a vampire. A friendly vampire, the little voice in his head corrects, who really likes Vincent’s pumpkin croissants. (At this point, did anyone not like his croissants?) His uncle had pointed out the vampire had a sweet tooth in general, but he was partial to whatever Vincent baked up. Also, that the vampire had been in Delia long before Vincent moved in himself.
“But he’s like a friendly cat, don’t worry about him. Just don’t try to feed him vegetables, and he won’t bite… Probably,” Vincent had said, hanging up before Ignis could question the ‘Probably’ part.
Okay. Alright. He could deal with this. Probably.
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Asthma🌸 Australia 🇦🇺 @juliehiep on Instagram To everyone with Asthma, I’m writing this story to help all mothers and fathers with children that suffer from this horrible disease. I hope this will give you an insight into it’s workings and to let you know it’s beatable not treatable. If you have found this story you’re already aware that pharmaceutical medicine cannot heal you from Asthma. I’ll start from the beginning but if you would like a full outline of the treatment skip to Beating Asthma at the bottom of this story or read and study the work of Medical Medium. Early Symptoms It started when my son was 10 months old. He was a highly intelligent child far beyond his age and so fun to play with. When one day he started to get pain in the stomach area. He would tell us it hurt there by pointing and by saying owie here J We took him to the doctor to the doctor, who dismissed it and said it was simply a stomach ache and it will go away. He prescribed Panadol in the meantime. Days went on and he complains continued, his tongue started to change and looked like it was peeling. On our second visit with new symptoms the doctor stuck to his first diagnosis and the same Panadol usage continued. The tongue was explained to me as Geographic Tongue. A kind of nutritional deficiency for which needed testing. (I refused to do this as I’m against the collecting of DNA samples) Two weeks later The breathing issues started. The doctors prescribed standard Asthma inhalers and sickness continued. He’s been on the inhalers frequently but I simply thought this was normal and would last a few days. (I’v personally had an asthma attack from sleeping in front of an dirty air-conditioner I was prescribed the same thing but it went away within 24 hours and everything back to normal) With him however it was not the same. It seemed to never end. It would be a miracle if he could go without the inhaler for an entire day but it would all ways come back. Sometimes he would have the inhaler several times per day for several weeks and you could tell by his mood and attention span. Bother took a turn for the worse when using this medicine. This continued for years while I was searching for a cure. The research So I started my research to figure out what was really happening. There is so much information on the internet it’s ridiculous. I must have read all of it. Watched every video on youtube, tried many remedies with varying success. However nothing was a long term solution. (most of it is simply wrong) I would focus on anything that would use lesser drugs and a more holistic approach. Here is a couple of the more successful things I tried. Salt and water. Hereby you let salt melt under the tongue and drink clean water after to allow the body to rehydrate. This was effective to open the brochial tubes however it only worked for 2 weeks. Turmeric Milk: Mixing turmeric into a bit of goat milk with coconut oil and pepper. This helps relieve an asthma attack faster. It was probably the most helpful at relieving the attacks after then had started. It surely saved plenty of visits to the doctor and avoided lots of stronger steroid drugs. Purple Reishi Mushroom herbs: Supposed to reprogram the immune system because it’s over active (so it seemed by the research at the time) However this herb is so terrible in taste it could spoil rainbows and unicorns, he refused to take it most days unless I bribed him. Even then it was rarely possible so instead of causing stress and asthma attacks I stopped trying. (this may still work if you want to try as an adult however it’s not for kids, also the protocol I end with definitely works) There is tons more that either have no effect or make things worse. I wouldn’t bother with anything else. When I delved into herbalism I quickly worked out the basics. Herb for this, herb for that, making my own medicines most of them did have a positive effect, however it still was all ways about symptom management. The majority of herbalism books do explain that having the correct nutrition is the only way to truly heal chronic disease but did not explain anything about nutrition other then more fruits and vegetables. Nutrition, family and friends I started feeding him raw fruits and vegetables. To show by example I became a raw vegan for 2 years. I truly believe this is how humans are meant to eat, however we simply do not have enough time in the day to live this way anymore. Changing to this diet received a lot backlash from family and friends and was very difficult. Everyone has their opinion and no one is supportive. Everyone comes out of the wood works to tell you how quick you will die if you simply eat raw food. My wife did not approve of this for our son and understandably so (I guess) as she was not as interested in looking for a cure but was happy with symptom management. She suffered from asthma and assumes its hereditary and there’s nothing you can do. I do not blame her for this. It’s how she was brought up. I didn’t feel that way and feel sick to my stomach every time an inhaler was used. She is very supportive of me and has stood up for me before her own parents and family. When she starting noticing that more vegetables and fruits made a huge difference to his overall health. She also started making more smoothies and juices, which made everything easier on me. Eventually others also see the difference as when they are baby sitting and would feed him noodles he would have a huge flare up which could take days to settle. I would get upset with them as I’m to deal with all the aftermath. Medical Medium the truth If you have already visited the Medical Medium website or read his books simply follow the protocol and you will have immediate results. I will outline everything below on how to beat Asthma and the cause. I want to thank Anthony William for the information he shares with everyone. I send you my Love and Compassion. The Cause It’s VIRAL …………………………….. Let that sink in. It is VIRAL. Nothing you read about asthma anywhere will tell you that it’s viral except for Medical Medium. When I first heard this it was like a weight had been lifted and a giant light globe popped out of my head. I knew this was truth. The entire story about the body attacking itself or being overactive is all false. Your body loves you and cannot hurt you. This in a way is where I feel the problem lies. This virus hides in your own cells. Making it almost undetectable to your immune system. The virus is called the Epstein Barr Virus and if you would like to read more about that visit his website or buy his book which explains it even better I can. But I’ll try. Essentially the virus is activated by Heavy Metals or Extreme stress on the body. Unfortunately thinking I was a good parent all those years ago (hes almost 5 as of writing this) I made sure he received his vaccines and took his panadol’s like the doctor said. I did not know vaccines contained dangerous heavy metals nor did I know that panadol/Tylenol causes huge amount of stress on the liver, which allows the Epstein Barr virus to become active and seek refuge in your organs. I stopped vaccinating him and my other children. A few years back I already worked that out. He does not mention it on his own website or books as I assume big pharma will make it difficult for him if he spoke out about these things. The Mechanics The virus is alive and needs to feed. When you eat the food it likes it excreted a toxin into the lungs. This is where the immune systems comes in and cleans it up creating mucus in the lungs to transport these toxins out of the body. This causes the congestion and wheezing and all the symptoms as the body is cleaning up the mess. When a large amount of this toxin is in the body and a lot of mucus is in the lungs and you get an asthma attack you can rupture or scratch the lung linings from all the coughing. Now you become weak to further attacks from dust, airborn particles and exercise. The lungs cannot heal the scratches when the mucus is covering them. So they simply never heal making you weaker and weaker to more and more agitants. Beating Asthma My favourite part of this story J It’s all about diet and awareness. Tell your child or yourself that it’s a virus. It helps the body to recognise and understand what it’s looking for. Tell your body it in your liver it will understand you and the healing can now begin. Don’t Eat this I’ll make a list of the worst in 2 categories. The first you must entirely remove from your diet. The 2nd you can eat but should be eaten sparingly. These component must be eaten less then 30% of a meal and ideally be removed all together. We are not perfect and if you want to eat a little, here and there, they should not start an Asthma attack. Trial and error a little here as everyone is different. If your having any wheezing avoid all in both. The Worst Canola Oil Egg Corn Wheat Still bad All other grains Refined Sugar All Dairy (this causes mucus which will make getting asthma more difficult to clear up) Generally Bad for your health It’s difficult to heal if you eat the following. They won’t cause an attack but they will hurt your body or immune system in some way. Which takes the focus of what you need your body to do. You usually have to read the ingredient list for this one. Soy All Soft drinks (aspartame in diet versions especially) Any food with too many additives. Especially MSG or anything with the word Flavours as its usually MSG or a cocktail of chemicals (I personally avoid food with any additives unless I really want it like a bit of wine) Strong chemical exposure (from anything like dishwashing liquid and antibacterial soap, to avoiding car fumes) Eat this! All Vegetables All Fruits The more the better As specifically described by Medical Medium some will help more then others. But don’t be worry they will all help. To target the Epstein Barr Virus however eat these. WILD BLUE BERRIES - A must! Eat this every day for the fastest results. 500grams The more you eat of this the faster you will beat the virus Hawaiian SPIRULINA – Everyday 1 teaspoon Barley Grass Juice Powder – Everyday 1 teaspoon Dulse Flakes – Seaweed – Everyday 1 teaspoon I blend them all together into ice cream. You can’t go wrong and kids love ice-cream for breakfast. We usually share this portion although he eats more then half. HERBS – Lemon Balm – Botanic Choice has a alcohol free extract that’s mixed into a bit of water. 1ml twice per day Other meals might be smoothies or he likes hot chips (fries in the US) make your own with a potatoes cutter or find frozen chips without added canola oil (this is a lot harder then you think) fry them in coconut oil. Meat is ok to. But don’t make meal out of it. To Mothers and Fathers My son used to hate cauliflower until we found organic coloured cauliflower frozen at Costco. We used to play games where he would close his eyes and have to guess what colour he has in his mouth. He then started liking what he used to hate. Use what is available to you to assist them in eating more vegetables. If you cut out all the things he can’t eat he WILL start to like the good things eventually. Don’t give up. If they miss a meal here or there it doesn’t matter. Not eating helps to alleviate asthma attacks anyway, because not having to digest, the body can focus more on cleaning toxins. Tell your child. If you eat this the virus inside you grows bigger and you get more sick. If eat this (wild blue berries) the virus gets smaller and it makes the Asthma go away. They will understand. If they are too young and can’t understand give it time and simply try your best. Just remember they will copy you. Lead by example and love them unconditionally. The Result After following a strict diet for about 2 months with minimal flare ups. (none that I remember) He got a high fever that lasted for 3 days. He didn’t act all that unwell but you could feel the heat without touching him. I didn’t want to measure his temp, because that only brings panic to the family. But I can assure you he was very hot. He has since seemed to be asthma free (its only been 3 weeks) However his lungs sound better. His breathing is better. I don’t feel like I need to listen to his chest anymore and it has been like that since the first day after that fever. I feel like the burden on my shoulders is gone. It may be a while before I introduce any of those other foods as I do not need to test it. I’m happy with the current state. The geographic tongue also went away once he started eating the wild blueberries. Love all, Beau
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ONE HUNDRED FUCKING QUESTIONS
1.. what is you middle name?
Marie.
2. how old are you?
A number.
3. what is your birthday?
April 25th
4. what is your zodiac sign?
Taurus.
5. what is your favorite color?
BLUE.
6. what’s your lucky number?
Fuck, I don’t have my sheet in front of me rn but I’m confident there’s a 3 somewhere among it.
7. do you have any pets?
3 cats: Turbo (mine), Olive (my sister), Daisy (mom and dad)
8. where are you from?
BERMUDA.
9. how tall are you?
5 foot 2 and a quarter
10. what shoe size are you?
8 ½
11. how many pairs of shoes do you own?
Currently?? 3. Sneakers, slip-ons (which I don’t wear now that the ground is wet all the time) and boots.
12. what was your last dream about?
Idk.
13. what talents do you have?
Idk again. Writing seems to be up there.
14. are you psychic in any way?
No.
15. favorite song?
Changes all the time but currently? Way Down Hadestown, Rewrite the Stars, This Is Me, The Greatest Show, Epic (Part 3), Chant, Riptide, Take Me to Church.
16. favorite movie?
Power Rangers
17. who would be your ideal partner?
Uh, idk. Someone who likes to cuddle, doesn’t mind being affectionate but can give space when needed and doesn’t let me fall back on my own shit. Someone who can make me smile just by thinking about them. Someone who I can talk to about the stuff I enjoy and who will talk about the stuff they like, even if they’re not common interests.
18. do you want children?
Not really.
19. do you want a church wedding?
No.
20. are you religious?
No, but my dad wishes (and probably thinks) I am.
21. have you ever been to the hospital?
YEP! Gotta love asthma attacks and chronic sickness :P
Also occassional visits to my papa (rip) when my granny would go on vacation and placed him in the hospital’s care for brief times because of his dementia.
22. have you ever got in trouble with the law?
Nope.
23. have you ever met any celebrities?
None that I’m aware of.
24. baths or showers?
Showers.
25. what color socks are you wearing?
Black.
26. have you ever been famous?
Nope.
27. would you like to be a big celebrity?
Mmm, not really. All that attention seems terrifying. But like, if I could be, celebrity enough that I’m well-known among people and get good wages doing whatever, then yes.
28. what type of music do you like?
All kinds. I have aversions to stuff that picks at my ears wrong or makes my heart beat too fast, though, so a lot of hard metal and soca wind up being out.
29. have you ever been skinny dipping?
Yes. I was a toddler. Clothing means nothing when you’re a baby and live in a hot-ass humid climate.
30. how many pillows do you sleep with?
3
31. what position do you usually sleep in?
On my side or on my stomach. I’ve been trying to sleep on my back lately though.
32. how big is your house?
Small.
33. what do you typically have for breakfast?
Cereal.
34. have you ever fired a gun?
To my knowledge, yes.
35. have you ever tried archery?
Yes.
36. favorite clean word?
Shiz :D
37. favorite swear word?
Fuck.
38. what’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?
29ish hours? I stayed up one day to chat with a person who lived in Australia, wound up having to go to the store with my mom around 8 to get school clothes and crashed when we got back home about noon/one o’clock.
Though this month should raise that up higher given I have to be up for my exams starting at 9, stay up to catch my early morning flight the next day and stay up to catch my transfer flight and then keep staying up so I don’t crash through dinner and wake up at like one in the morning, like someone with jet lag. (Bermuda and Halifax are literally in the same time zone, I cannot do this to myself)
39. do you have any scars?
Yes. It stretches shortly on my forearm. I got it from an iron burn when I was about 12, I think?
40. have you ever had a secret admirer?
I think so?? If that’s what you’d call whoever keeps sending me those really sweet anons. :D
41. are you a good liar?
Sometimes.
42. are you a good judge of character?
I’d like to think so.
43. can you do any other accents other than your own?
I can do a semi-decent Irish/Scottish accent from my years of obsessively watching Ronan Inish and a thicker, more prominent Bermudian accent, like what my granny or teachers would have.
44. do you have a strong accent?
I don’t personally think I have an accent. My mom is deaf, my dad is American and the kids and family I grew up around never really used the thick version of a Bermudian accent.
45. what is your favorite accent?
I don’t know. I don’t think I have one? Mostly other accents are just the way people talk and if anything, just amuse me. Like for example, my friend’s Bahamian accent kills me, especially when she starts chatting with her friends from Nassau and their accents start rolling out super thick to the point where you gotta really pay attention to zero in on their words.
But, in Bermuda you’re taught by literally anyone so accents are just?? a thing that exist. I don’t have a favourite.
46. what is your personality type?
MBTI wise, a split between INTJ & INTP. Other types? IDK.
47. what is your most expensive piece of clothing?
PFT, prolly my shoes? I don’t really buy clothes. Though if my cousin’s coat no longer fits by the time the cold really hits and I need to use it, it’ll probably be a winter coat.
48. can you curl your tongue?
Yes.
49. are you an innie or an outie?
Innie
50. left or right handed?
Right handed.
51. are you scared of spiders?
Small spiders? No.
Giant spiders? Yes.
Weird looking spiders? Only if they’re too close to me.
52. favorite food?
Pineapple pizza. Apple spice cake too, I guess??
53. favorite foreign food?
Chinese, please and thank you, hit me up with that sweet and sour chicken.
54. are you a clean or messy person?
I try to be clean but depression and lack of energy makes it difficult. But I keep myself as organized as I possibly can and use procrastination to keep stuff as well-put as I can.
55. most used phrased?
I don’t even know.
56. most used word?
I also do not know.
57. how long does it take for you to get ready?
Pft, 7 to 15 minutes to shower on average (depends on if I’m washing my hair or not), fives minutes for face and teeth, five minutes to dress and like three hours to actually get up to get ready. :P
58. do you have much of an ego?
I try very hard not to.
59. do you suck or bite lollipops?
Suck.
60. do you talk to yourself?
I used to when I was younger. Still do sometimes.
61. do you sing to yourself?
I used to and then I realized that a) my self-improvised songs are terrible and b) I can’t sing.
62. are you a good singer?
My mom is deaf. My dad has hearing difficulties. My papa’s singing voice is a wail and my granny’s is shrill sadness.
I was not born into this world a lucky man.
63. biggest fear?
Demon clowns. Dying alone. Being alone forever. Not getting to say the things I want to say to people. That I’ll crash and burn before I graduate or sometime soon after.
64. are you a gossip?
No.
65. best dramatic movie you’ve seen?
I dunno. The most dramatic movies I can remember tend to be war films based on true stories and I normally check out during that kind of stuff because thinking about the horrors of history and the fact that people suffered and died at the hands of people who still objectively exists freaks me out, sends me into a pit of misery until I combust within myself.
66. do you like long or short hair?
No preference for other people, short hair preference for myself. Currently, I’m growing it out so my friend can braid it then I’m gonna chop it back off when I get home in May.
67. can you name all 50 states of america?
If an American can’t do that, then what makes you think me, a Bermudian who’s only concern with the US is how it will affect me and my country and literally was over-relieved when I got dropped from a US history class, would ever know that.
Case in point, I spent most of my childhood assuming New Jersey was a city and only found out it wasn’t last year.
68. favorite school subject?
Accounting.
69. extrovert or introvert?
Introvert.
70. have you ever been scuba diving?
No.
71. what makes you nervous?
Life.
72. are you scared of the dark?
Depends.
73. do you correct people when they make mistakes?
Sometimes. It really depends on the person and the situation.
74. are you ticklish?
Yes.
75. have you ever started a rumor?
No.
76. have you ever been in a position of authority?
No.
77. have you ever drank underage?
Unfortunately, I have? but not anything serious. Just a few sips I didn’t want to take three times throughout my life.
78. have you ever done drugs?
Aside from my prescribed and despite my friends’ best efforts, no.
79. who was your first real crush?
Vanessa Hudgens and whoever that boy who played Freddie from iCarly was.
80. how many piercings do you have?
None.
81. can you roll your rs?“
Yes!
82. how fast can you type?
Who knows??
83. how fast can you run?
I can’t.
84. what color is your hair?
Dark brown with a bunch of purple & pink in it.
85. what color is your eyes?
Brown.
86. what are you allergic to?
Severely allergic to dust mites and extremely irritated by pollen and highly perfumed scents. Which, as far as I’m concerned, means I’m allergic to the damn air.
87. do you keep a journal?
Used to. Don’t anymore.
88. what do your parents do?
My dad is an electrician. He does freelance work for people building houses on-island and my mom is a records management administrator at my bank.
89. do you like your age?
I guess?
90. what makes you angry?
Lots of things. I’m very prone to anger. It’s why the Hulk/Bruce Banner was my favourite superhero as a kid and still is.
91. do you like your own name?
Yes! I do actually really like my name, which sucks because sometimes I get upset or uncomfortable when people refer to me by it and why I like it when people call me Jay, but otherwise my birth name is just beautiful and I don’t think I’d ever be able to give it up.
That being said, I super love the name Jay and when I finally move out of my house and away from Bermuda, I want to try using it more socially rather than just online.
92. have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?
I don’t want babies.
93. do you want a boy a girl for a child?
Neither. I want another cat.
94. what are you strengths?
I write well, I can speak well and my pale as fuck skin doesn’t let people realize I’m mixed race so, like my friends point out, I get to skirt around the world, practically invisible and I like to work.
95. what are your weaknesses?
Procrastination, tendency to misery over small mistakes, tendency to blow up small things into large problems, tendency to feel abandoned by people who are not abandoning me, inability to properly fall asleep when I feel a lack of affection and touch in my life, inability to listen to people when they ramble on about things I don’t care about, inability to be upfront with how I feel towards my friends and how I feel they’re treating me, etc, etc, etc.
96. how did you get your name?
With my birthname, my mom picked it out from a book, I think?
With my preferred name,I was reading a book about a trans man called “I Am J” and when I got prompted about my name by a friend online, the name just popped into my head, felt immediately right and I used it and connected to it right away.
97. were your ancestors royalty?
I mean I doubt it but I WILL NEVER KNOW.
My mom is black! My dad is adopted! HOWEVER, FINDING OUT ANY ANYTHING ABOUT HER ANCESTRY IS MY MOM’S NUMBER ONE GOAL AND BELIEVE ME, ONCE SHE LEARNS THAT, I WILL LET Y’ALL KNOW.
98. do you have any scars?
Hasn’t this already been asked?
99. color of your bedspread?
Blue and white.
100. color of your room?
Dull green.
#yuuidankkuma#happy's asks#I WAS HOPING U WOULDN'T BC U WERE ON MOBILE AND SINCE I CAN'T FIND WHERE TO ASK PPL Q'S ON MOBILE#I WAS HOPING THAT THERE WAS NOT AN OPTION#U COULD LEGIT JUST SEND A RANDOM NUmBER BABE#THIS TOOK FOREVER#UR LUCKY I LIKE U
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The cottage - Vol'raka and Reshka
She caught me as I was carrying a cradle into my new little cottage above the Ravenwolf Cove. It was a little dark outside, but it was early morning and there was a bit of mist still around. I had wanted an early start since I may only have a few weeks to get this new little home ready.
The house was built quickly enough, fuckin’ efficient if you ask me but dwarves are industrious little shits. They weren’t quite done, but I could get in what I needed to before heading back to Pandaria to check on Naddja later that day. What I could carry and move on my own I would, who knows when I would be able to return to the Vale of Blossoms. I chose to leave my raptors there with hired hands for a while, until things settled down.
For now I had a tiny little Mag’har woman squealing at me as she and her hyena, two wolves and a white pup came barreling at me. My little cousin, Reshka, knocked me over like the tiny cannonball that she is. At least I had gotten a few seconds warning to put down the cradle. As I landed flat on my back, braid in the dirt and Reshka's form gripping me around the middle, I took a moment to hug her back as tightly as she hugged me, that ever snarky mouth running a mile a minute.
“Spirits, I didn't believe it. When I heard… The Admiral brought in a big troll with green hair... They described you pretty good!” She had the good grace to speak in Zandali. It was easier for me and she needed practice. Her ability to speak it was going to be helpful when I needed to teach my child languages.
“Heard what? And your accent sucks, use your tongue more often. Its supposed to sound like a song when you speak, not like you have rocks in your mouth.” I teased her gently, her tongue sticking out at me as she stood up. News always traveled fast for some reason in Coves, I had expected that as soon as I joined, someone would start running their mouth. I sat up as I spoke, dusting myself off and towering over her, almost twice her size. I smirked, leaning against the cottage wall and hiding the cradle behind me. It was colder here, so a heavy kilt and furs were wrapped around my legs, making it a bit easier to do so. “People with waggling tongues say a fuckton, Reshka."
“You left your old company for whatever reason and found the Admiral. Did you come here because I’m here?” Her pup was sniffing around behind me, wolves and hyena better trained and smart enough to stay back from a predator that was not that much of a threat. I kept an ear on where the pup was as she looked up at me. “Everything ok? I thought you had a cushy place up in the Vale?”
“I left my old company and home for my own reasons, kid. I might go back home, but not to that company. We can talk about it inside? Kinda cold. Grab a box… OI!”
I turned quickly and picked her pup up by the scruff. The little male tucked its tail between its legs and whimpered as I stared it in the face. Holding it within inches of my nose, I gave a gentle warning growl to let it know I was the bigger predator before he marked his territory on the cradle. "Training needed. No pissing on things, wolf."
Reshka came over to grab the small wolf and stopped . I had turned and picked up the cradle with one hand and a bundle of furs in the other. She looked between the wooden cradle, me and back again. It was then that my cousin, one I was raised with for a few years, caught the basket that would be hung from the rafters.
“Vol’raka. Why do you have things for a baby? Wasn’t this.. I saw this at Jura’s house.” Brown fingers picked up the basket, finding the other woven basket that many trolls used to carry their young in. “This is Jura’s daughter’s…” Her hands went through a box that held a colorful woven sling, a basket to carry the child, blankets, small toys, changing clothes, and anything Jura could part with as his daughter was only a year old. She finally held up a bone rattle with beads, leather and feathers attached. It was a traditional naming day gift.
“And now it is my child’s. Get in the damn house.” I picked up the basket and all, wandering through the door and placing it all to a corner that I was stashing everything until I could sort it. Hot on my heels was the redheaded Mag’har, pets and all.
“Vol’raka. Last I knew.. You liked guys. And you have a mate, right.. Xiao's male....”
I busied myself, going out to grab more boxes to bring the last inside before I spoke to her. Reshka would hear me out, I hoped. I was not going to argue, with anyone on this. I was going to go it alone if I had to. At this point, I may have to. As I stepped out for the last I called out to her.
“Make a fire, smoke’s in the leather bag by the door. We’ll talk.”
When I came in with the last of the boxes I had that day, Reshka already had a fire started in the hearth for the main living space. She had already filled the bowl of my pipes and took a long hit. She knew the very specific smell of Kit's herb. I chuckled, pulling out some wrapped pastries to share once she got hungry. The pup and her pets curled up next to her, the larger once snoozing as the little one flopped around on its back.
“Your mate know you like shaman’s smoke? Dumbuss, I think. The Admiral already called me practically family at this point so it must be serious.” She pulled the pipe away, smiled, blew smoke from her nose and gave me the finger. “I’m not even gonna guess if that's a yes or no. Hand it over, I am gonna enjoy it while I can.” As she handled it over, the little Mag'har stared across the fire at me, considering. We’d never been extremely close, but we counted each other as friend. I knew that face, mentally preparing myself for questions.
“As Auntie Kit once told me: Time to spill the burdens of your soul. You and your little guy adopt a fuzzy little one? War orphan? Didn't think you were a babies kinda troll. That whole thing with them being breakable and little and all.”
I shook my head and took a heavy hit, holding it in as long as I could before blowing out through my mouth. “None of the above. If he forgives me, maybe one day. Until then, no." I took another hit of shaman's smoke and exhaled it slowly from my nose. "I was stupid and am dealing with the consequences.” I recounted to her about my time after Sath, before Xiao. I didn’t remember a damn thing about it, but the proof was in the pudding. In this case, the proof would join me in this little house in a few weeks. "I don't remember anything other than getting drunk with Jura in Ratchet. Kit and Jura both say its mine. I'll take the word of a farseer and a druid, not just some random chick.
“Wait.. You got drunk? You DRANK liquor? That’s a first.. And.. knocked some Zandalari chick up? You got it up for a GIRL.”
“Fuck off, Reshie. She looks male.. I was blackout drunk. I DID NOT plan this..” I put my pipe down, hanging my head. “I made a mistake. She doesn’t want it. I won't have my child raised in an orphanage. I’m TRYING to be responsible here.” My hand covered my face, hiding the fear and apprehension. “I don’t know if I can do this, but I have to. I need to accept what I did and make sure the.." I stopped, inhaling air as deeply as I could as I looked up at one of those I counted family, though she was not related by blood. "I need to make sure that my baby is taken care of.” When I looked in her eyes, I could see her eyes watch the emotions on my face. “I am petrified of this. I don’t have anyone else to rely on.” That's how it felt for the last week.
Standing up and coming closer, Reshka smacked me upside the head and shook a finger at me. “Bwonsamdi’s ass you don’t. Family is that which you choose. Mother and Mama Azu got that into our heads. All of us. I’ll help, I am sure Kit can help. Jura gave you stuff so he already is. Those who really consider you family will. Your kid is part our family.” I gave a weak smile as she patted my back and went to pick up the basket that would be hung from the rafter It was a little ragged and I was terrible at anything to do with sewing. “I can fix this, get some blankets. You will need stuff for the house.”
“All that’s coming.”
It was all I could say to the grinning huntress, the one I had gifted a stick as she made her way out into the world. “I will send stuff up tomorrow. Let me know if you need things, not for the kid, and we’ll find em. There is a library, should have books on how to take care of babies and I remember you liked to read. Anyone else know?”
“You, Kit and Jura.”
With a nod and look of resolution on her face, Reshka I knew had my back. My family would be with me. Perhaps one day the one I was engaged to would come back, maybe forgive me for this. But for now, it was enough that I was not gonna go this alone.
I waited until Reshka had gone to tend her own business before I broke down. Maybe I can do this.
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The First Date After Dust
HR is there when Iris goes into labor prematurely. He panics in the waiting room as the doctors do everything they can to stall her labor and reseal the amniotic sack surrounding one twin. The boy one, probably, boys are trouble, he had joked. Iris huffed a tired laugh as she was wheeled away into surgery. HR tries to keep everyone’s spirits up in the waiting room, but it’s hard when there’s a grandfather, uncle, godfather – it was on Barry’s wishlist for the future –, and godfather’s visiting girlfriend. He’s just HR, championship cheerleader and spirit raiser. Until the third hour passes with no word from the doctors. The clock strikes midnight. Joe has gone through three pots of coffee on his own. HR has absolutely decimated the available coffee from the nurses’ station. Cisco’s left leg won’t stop bouncing. Cindy quietly nurses a cold cup of coffee. Half past midnight a doctor appears, clean and shiny, but straight from surgery. The twins were born in the extremely early hours of Halloween.
Little Donovan and little Dawn are the smallest babies HR has ever seen. He could easily hold them both in the palms of his hands. They’re lively, though, sleeping and fussing and trying to latch. The doctors find it strange that they are so active, but determine it’s a good sign. Iris holds them first and for as long as she can while they’re in the neonatal intensive care unit. They have tiny tubes going into their tiny noses and tiny needles piercing the tiniest veins possible. Tiny leads cover their tiny chests and tummies, a tiny heartbeat monitor is clipped to tiny big toes. HR, of course, gives up his spot when Pawpaw or Unc show up to spend time with the tiny ones or Iris.
Spending his days in the hospital with Iris as she recovers puts a strain on his relationship with Tracy. He likes her, he cares for her, but he has a self-imposed obligation to Iris and her children. He’s not a smart man, but he’s not dumb enough to leave a newly – widowed isn’t the right word, but she’s very much so a widow – widowed mother of two newborns who are in the NICU for a few months at least. He’d never forgive himself when he has all the time in the world to put to good use. It’s almost a relief when she breaks up with him a month later. She’s destined for greater things, anyway. And they’re still friends, so that’s a nice perk.
Iris returns to work two months later. The medical bills will probably bankrupt her and she’ll have to sell the loft, but it’s better to try and negotiate with the hospital and her insurance company than to give up the ghost before she’s barely begun recovering from everything. HR spends his time in the hospital with the twins. When he’s not with them, he’s spinning epic tales of heroes and villains and adding a few steamier elements to the adventures. Sometimes, he sleeps.
The twins are released in mid-December on, arguably, the coldest day of the year so far. They hate everything about the trip home and are sure to raise a fuss about the entire process. Their perfectly healthy lungs can sure hold a lot of air to scream with. They settle down once Joe’s car starts the trip home.
Iris is allowed one week off from work to settle in to a new routine. She doesn’t press for more time. Her work gives her enough to keep her busy and avoid thinking about everything that has happened so quickly the last few months. HR, naturally, offers to help. He rejects an offer of payment and brings his own coffee. He doesn’t want to increase Iris’ burden and, if his publishing deal works out, he’ll be able to quietly pay off her and the twins’ medical bills. It’s amazing this country still doesn’t have a single payer system, but, he supposes, not everywhere can be as advanced as Earth-19.
One year later sees Iris accepting a Pulitzer on her exposé on the treatment of metahumans near and far, their struggle to be accepted, those that hide, and those born to metahuman parents who display new and amazing abilities unique to them. The twins have no idea what it means, too busy walking and learning to talk and climbing things and dusting their faces with flour. Iris tells Barry all about it when she visits his grave. He’s right next to his parents where he belongs.
It’s not until their third birthday that the twins being exhibiting Speedster abilities. Little Donnie ran through a wall while throwing a fit over bedtime. Little Dawnie’s chocolate syrup didn’t mix with her milk well enough for her. She vibrated the glass until it was deliciously chocolatey. Unckie Wally is tasked with teaching the twins a bit of control, but they’re three years old and just not that easy. They wreak havoc and run circles around everyone, speed or not. Wally handles them when they’re speedy, HR handles them when they’re hyperactive, and Joe handles them either way when he’s not exhausted from police work. Iris is there when not working, of course, and she giggles in the background unless things get a little out of hand. Like the time the kids got a little crazy running around the lower level of the loft and knocked Barry’s snowglobe off the bookshelf. It took a diving HR to save it, though his head was a little sore from it hitting him right on the crown.
It’s not until Iris goes on her first date since everything happened that HR realizes his feelings for Iris run a little deeper than platonic. But, oh, that red dress she’s wearing! It hugs every curve, some new, some old, and wow. And those black high heels. Gods, she already has a very nice set of buttocks, but, hoo boy could she make a man bite his knuckle to keep from shouting what a blessing that ass really is.
“Wow, Iris,” he breathes. “What lucky guy gets to take you out for a night on the town?”
She grins and does a little twirl. HR raises his left fist to his mouth and bites the second knuckle on his index finger. Iris laughs at the gesture and brushes a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
“Scott,” she replies. “From work.”
He spits out his finger. “Oh. Is he still your boss, because that could get a little –” He waves his hand side to side horizontally to indicate his uncertainty.
She tilts her chin up and grins. “I might have a little more influence than he does, what with my Pulitzer and all.”
“Well, you look great,” he says with a smile. “Are you planning on returning this evening or should I –”
“HR!” she gasps dramatically.
“What? If I was him, I would try.”
“It’s the first date, HR.”
“I would really, really try.”
“Because I look slammin’ or because you’re desperate?”
He clasps a hand over his heart in dramatic fashion. “Right in the heart, Miss West, but I ask you, who wouldn’t be desperate to lay down with a ‘slammin’’ lady like yourself?”
“Almost saved it,” she laughed.
“Almost! Darn. I’ll try harder next time.”
“I’m sure you will.”
He sends her off with a good luck grin and a thumbs up. He may have also slipped a condom into her purse. Just in case. She could use a good time from a gentlemanly fellow. If Scott’s the type. Some part of him hopes that she comes back and tosses the prophylactic in his face with a laugh and a stern finger. Oh well. Time to check on the children and make sure they’re not out of bed yet. They’ll wake up for warm milk or a story soon enough. Who in the multiverse thought Speedster children were a good idea?
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