#i wish i was i wish i was im sorry i can't. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

acornshell · 2 days

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Them being each others light is actually killing me, the symbolism altogether, I can't escape it😭🥺💛

The third pic was the rough sketch but I kinda wanted the whole vibe to be more light and wholesome so decided to do a different BG!

Ok, Im REALLY into this show, and I am so SO fixiated. This show is everything to me and will be not be shutting up about it any time soon, sorry in advance🥲

Ok, I already posted this on Twitter(X) but I completely forgot to post on here for a while and finally got myself together and made a post👍

My fav is costantly swinging between Edwin and Charles, but I love all of the characters in a whole💖

I really really hope Netflix will do the right thing and renew this show, otherwise I wouldn't know what to do😭

Hope yall like this self indulgent art, I wish whoever sees this a very good day!✨

[Reblogs are deeply appreciated!!🙌💛]

#dead boy detectives #dead boy detectives agency #dead boy detective netflix #dead boy detective agency #dead boy detective fanart #edwin paine #edwin payne #charles rowland #charles rowland fanart #edwin payne fanart #painland #fanart #digital art #art

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skywalker1dream · 3 days

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part 3 of spin the bottle series

note: so I'm having bad day, but I hope that you are having good day ;)

part one | part two| part three| part four | part five

warnings:you tell me, Im not good with warnings.

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As the weeks passed and Carlos asked you to be his girlfriend, you felt a rush of excitement and happiness, eager to deepen your connection. However, his request for secrecy about your relationship left you feeling conflicted, as you longed to share your joy with your loved ones.

Despite your disappointment, you respected Carlos's wishes, trusting that he had his reasons. But as time went on, his behavior began to change. Carlos became increasingly touchy and possessive, his actions leaving you feeling suffocated and unsure.

One evening, as you sat together in silence, the tension between you palpable, you finally mustered the courage to confront Carlos about his behavior.

"Carlos, we need to talk," you began, your voice tinged with apprehension. "I've noticed that you've been acting differently lately, and it's starting to worry me."

Carlos shifted uncomfortably, his eyes avoiding yours as he fidgeted with his phone. "I… I know," he replied, his voice strained. "I've just been feeling frustrated, you know?"

You frowned, a sense of unease settling in the pit of your stomach. "Frustrated? What do you mean?"

Carlos sighed, his shoulders slumping as he finally met your gaze. "I… I want more from our relationship," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I want to be closer to you, physically."

Your heart sank at his words, realization dawning on you. "Carlos, you know I can't," you said softly, your voice filled with sadness. "I thought you understood and respected that."

Carlos nodded, a flicker of guilt crossing his features. "I do, I really do," he insisted. "But it's been hard for me, waiting."

You took a deep breath, struggling to process his confession. "I understand, but that doesn't excuse your behavior," you replied, your voice tinged with frustration. "I need you to respect my boundaries, as I am respecting yours Carlos. This isn't fair to me."

Carlos's expression softened, regret shining in his eyes as he reached out to take your hand. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I'll try to do better, I promise."

But despite his words, you couldn't shake the feeling of doubt that lingered in your mind. As the weeks went on, Carlos's possessiveness only seemed to escalate. He was constantly texting his friends, even during your dates or while you were spending time together at home. And no matter how much you tried to talk to him about it, he brushed off your concerns, insisting that everything was fine.

As the strain in your relationship grew, you couldn't help but wonder if things would ever go back to how they used to be. And as you lay awake at night, watching Carlos sleep beside you, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at your heart, wondering if you were truly meant to be together.

As you strolled through the park together, the gentle breeze and the rustle of leaves provided a soothing backdrop to your conversation. Carlos seemed relaxed, his usual tension replaced by a sense of ease that put you at ease as well.

"Carlos, can we talk about something?" you began, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you.

"Of course," he replied, turning to look at you with a warm smile.

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts before speaking. "I've been thinking about our relationship, about how we've been keeping it a secret," you said, your voice steady despite the nerves that fluttered in your stomach. "How long do we have to keep it this way?"

Carlos's expression softened, a hint of sadness flickering in his eyes. "I know it hasn't been easy," he replied, his voice tinged with regret. "But for now, I think it's best if we continue to keep things between us."

You felt a pang of disappointment at his response, the weight of secrecy pressing down on you like a heavy burden. "But why, Carlos? Why can't we be open about our relationship?"

Carlos sighed, his gaze drifting to the ground as he struggled to find the right words. "It's complicated," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "There are things going on in my life that I'm not ready to share with everyone yet."

You reached out to gently squeeze his hand, offering him a reassuring smile. "I understand, Carlos," you said softly. "I just wish we could be honest with the people we care about."

Carlos met your gaze, gratitude shining in his eyes as he squeezed your hand in return. "I know, and I'm sorry," he replied sincerely. "But I promise, one day, we'll be able to shout our love from the rooftops."

You smiled, feeling a glimmer of hope stir within you at his words. "I'll hold you to that," you said, your voice filled with determination.

And as you continued to walk through the park together, hand in hand, you couldn't help but feel a sense of optimism for the future. Despite the challenges you faced, you knew that as long as you had each other, you could weather any storm that came your way.

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its short vey short I separated parts bc it would be longer and it seems that my drafts can't hold that amount of words, I mean.....my finished fics have some parts missing... I have no idea how is that possible..but I hope I can fix it somehow

bye

- sent from my ipheon ;)

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #fanfic #carlos sainz x female reader #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz f1

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md-confessions · 1 day

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help there's so much codegold on my dash all of a sudden im actually going to cry /vneg

like i saw fanart of codegold and the art style was actually so cool (it was lineless and im a sucker for lineless art) but it was CODEGOLD. Pleasesllelelsels ssonnoooooooo sotptptpp

coming from someone with 44 ships in this fandom alone (/srs, i counted; 39 excluding joke ships like khoor), i'm usually the voice of reason when it comes to shipping. you like nuzi??? omg dude same!!! let's be besties!!! you like juzi? stuffing you in a wedding suit/dress and whisking you off with me into the sunset in my convertable!!!! you like vhad? awesome sauce!!! kissing you rn!!! like even the few non-problematic ships i don't like - smokeybat, vessa - i'm all for you liking them! what makes other people happy makes me happy :3

but when it comes to proships and comshipping (or ships like n x cyn, n x tessa, and n x j that are their own special catagory as canon can be muffled and the viewer's interpretation and headcanons are what we mostly have to go off of), i will set my boundaries, wish you a nice life, and block you. no hard feelings (i'm not one to hold a grudge), i just can't deal with that, especially as i am mentally ill and am a pushover.

and being a pushover (ex i was bribed into shipping vhad and went from despising noll to shipping it religiously), having fanart and arguments for codegold is obviously something i can't have on my dash.

i don't know where i was going with this i kinda just splurted my thoughts everywhere im sorry (/gen) just generally if you see this and you're a proshipper, comshipper, or ship codegold/n x tessa/cyn x n, block me please and dni

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maxphilippa · 15 days

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uh. vent art. or something. losing yourself and losing everyone who you cared about as a result

#inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity invitational #ii #ii 2 #ii 3 #inanimate insanity cabby #. that's it #i'm. so so exhausted.#i feel like i'm actually going to throw up from how disgusted i am with myself #of course they wouldn't want to be friends w/me of course they don't like talking to me anymore #i am too broken to even be a good friend #hell even my best friend is leaving my side lately #i don't want to go back. i don't want to see them again tomorrow. i don't want to.#i don't want to feel like i'm insignificant i was doing so good why does it hurt why is it hurting now #i don't want to feel like death is the only solution i don't want to i don't want to be alone i don't want to be forgotten #i don't want to be unloved just because i can't fix myself anymore #i don't have anything to offer anymore i'm so so sorry i wish i did i wish i was still happy and healing #i wish i was i wish i was im sorry i can't.#sigh. well can't do much about it now anyway. uh yeah cabby is my mood rn. also talking about irl friends here.#god this was so bad i need to die rn #cw vent #cw sui mention #i guess #mhm. i think i need a therapist

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frenchublog · 2 months

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#tsom #the sound of music #captain von trapp #georg von trapp #maria von trapp #georg x maria #captain and the governess #my art #please don't repost #what if i went insane #im so sorry i wished i stopped thinking of them but i can't #in my tsom era rn

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drrba · 1 year

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half of him an angel, the other death

#hxh #hunter x hunter #kurapika #kurapika kurta #HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BOY MY ANGEL.. MY ANGLE..#i never do bday pieces where they are actually celebrating their bday im sorry #wishing you to appear in the next chapter i can't fucking take it anymore #art #id by kurapikaschai

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natjennie · 8 days

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what's weird about the fantasy high drama is that like. it seems to me like people forget d&d is primarily a) a game you play with your friends and also b) luck based.

I mean it's fine to say that "nothing felt like a challenge" and "they just dominated everything and there weren't any stakes" but like. it's not as if they weren't up against huge threats. they lost the mall fight. the last stand was an onslaught of enemies. they fought a dozen dragons from an airship. the fights were hard. they're just really good. they've had very good dice luck in general this season and are all very high level and highly specialized. fig is gonna beat deception and performance checks. adaine's gonna figure out the arcana. riz is gonna succeed investigations. like. for some reason their strategical competence and wisely picked abilities are. a downside? a disappointment?

the thing about d&d that you need to remember is it's first and foremost a game. it's mostly random and it takes you down weird paths and you're playing to have fun with your friends. the dice are literally telling the story that it's their time, it's their year. they've struggled enough. they've trained enough. they're good at what they do. and in my post about the academic/domestic/personal stressors being the focus, d&d doesn't have any other system to work them out than rolling different skills. that's what d&d is. brennan set specific challenge levels for different tasks and the players strategized to prioritize which abilities they were strongest in. the challenges were there. and the players rose to them. they were both smart in their delegation of responsibilities and lucky with their dice rolls. of which, both are foundations of d&d.

don't mistake them being good players and getting lucky with there being no hardship. just because they smashed through the wall, that doesn't mean the wall wasn't strong. they were just stronger.

#i know some people are disappointed from a storytelling perspective. but you have to understand.#what was brennan supposed to do. he threw things at them both at and above their challenge level #he created a whole system to simulate academic and person goals and stress throughout the year #he gave them plenty of chances to fail #he set DCs high.#the players just knocked it out of the park #you can't tell any story but the ones the dice want you to #if he had manufactured more danger or difficulty where there was none it would have felt cheap #and do you not remember the night yorb fight #like. the whole point of the year was that it wasn't hard. it just never stopped #they can do it they're capable they're smart. but the hustle and the stress and the fighting and the working never ends #that's why nothing 'had stakes' or 'felt challenging'#it's the slog that gets you. it's how long you're willing to keep going.#how much life can break you almost to your last breath but you get through it and you keep going anyway #but. i digress.#and i say all this with complete and total respect to other people's opinions #i feel no hate and wish no bad feelings on anyone who disagrees with this!#it's just my personal view on the whole thing #sorry if im being annoying i just have. opinions.#fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 #fhjy

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geodenes · 3 months

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can someone PLEASE be insane with me about them

#mordeson #regular show #benson #benson dunwoody #(ꈍᴗꈍ)♡#mordecai #regular show fanart #regular show benson #regular show mordecai #mordecai x benson #GUYS I LOVE THEM SO MUCHJ i rlly wish i could talk as in much depth about them as i would like 2 bc i could spend hours!!!! i swear 😪#i can't believe i only had a single post of them I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FAKE FAN IM SO SORRY #btw has anyone thought of a name for this ship besides mordeson? i always wanted 2 make one like those big fandoms do ! it's just so.. cool #i suggest bluegum or videoclip ( videogames + clipboard ) in case there are no options available yet:3 #I HOPE THOSE DON'T SOUND LAME AAAAUGH I REALLY TRIED MY BEST TO THINK OF SOMETHING GOOD BUT MY BRAIN IS USELESS 4 THIS KINDA STUFF #anyway. thank u very much bee for letting me use the idea of the cat beanie hehee<3

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m340700 · 19 days

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found an old thing

#moondrop #its 11 months old according to my malmal activity #im back to drawing them again it seems TT #they're the kind of characters u can't help but go back to whenever you're tired #or in this case; when you don't have any ideas to draw lol #drawing a character so much that its become a habit even when ure interested in smth else rn #anyway yes im drawing sun and i hate that my improvement really shows whenever i draw them >:(#sorry for the ramble but also not sorry for the ramble (i am the ruler of these tags)#might try writing a fic abt them once i get a hang of writing characters #with my whole heart; i wish for them to fucking Cry #they deserve to be able to weep the tears they haven't wept

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miss-stereo · 6 months

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I know it's been days since Wish was released, but I finally watched it and...

I still think Enchanted (2007) is the Disney movie that celebrates the classics while bringing an original story to all audiences.

It has romance, music by Alan Menken, 2D animation, a cool villain, and a amazing cast!

#I really wanted to like wish #but I can't help but feel disappointed #it could have been a masterpiece #aside from Zootopia Encanto and Wreck it Ralph #Disney is still suffering from weak writing #and it doesn't help that the concept art of the movie had really cool ideas and the execs most likely toned it down to make it as marketable #im really sorry #if you liked this movie #I'm very glad :')#but please respect my opinion on this movie #mstalks #msposts #disney wish #wish #wish movie #wish 2023 #disney wish 2023

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ahauntedcowboy · 2 months

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embarrassed myself in front of a very cute girl today. she was so pretty and so nice!!! she came to our table to get our orders and immediately started complimenting my nose ring and telling me about how she wants to get her septum pierced too, and liked my shirt and my entire outfit.

and i was being so cool about it for a total of 2.5 seconds until she asked "are you two together?"

and of course my brain didn't realize she was asking if the check was together or separate and i stared at her for the longest time before i answered, "um, no, thats my mom."

she was so nice about it thankfully and laughed and said thats exactly how she would've taken the question. i think she was being VERY kind cause i was so embarrassed and was covering my beet-red face with my hands.

clearly any brain cells i have evaporates in front of pretty nice girls.

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humblemediagenius · 4 months

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The need to share my OCs with everyone vs the fear that people won't be FUCKING NORMAL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

#seaspeak #SORRY I'M LIKE #so paranoid all the tine #im just like #will you enjoy my OCs normally or will you say things #will you keep it to just you and me or bring it to places I'm not at #pleade if you're a mutual or something Do not talk about my OCs if I'm not there #my ocs aren't pieces of media they mean so fucking much to me #and the idea of people doing stuff without me freaks me tf out #i don't want a fandom I don't want a following i want a handful of normal friends #i like sharing my stories and playlists and stuff but god I'm so so so so so so so afraid people will take it too far #and so when I try to be more confident I immediately retract back into my paranoia #i just wish I had some reassurance that people mean the best #because i feel like I can't trust people I normally trust!!!!! when they literally have done Nothing wrong #THIS ISNT ABOUT ANYONE HRRE BTW ITS JUST PARANOIA

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back

it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it

#slamming my face into a wall repeatedly #i cant leave it there to deal with after Sleep #bc my cats like to go onto the countertops when no one is looking #and i dont want either of them to get poisoned #but i cant rinse it into the sink with the faucet hose bc there's stuff in the sink #but idk if i can bring myself to do dishes with That next to me #and my fear of spiders is so intense that i Cannot get close enough to take care of it with a towel or somethin #im very good at fucking myself over in various ways!#if i had an appetite id lose it. permanently #what if! instead of dealing with it! i curl up in a corner and cry #except im not gonna do that ive filled my tears quota for the year & doing nothing wont help anything #sorry for venting again i just. ohhhhh this is horrible this is Terrible #if i still had my whacking stick id tape a big wad of paper towels to the end and clean the mess up that way #from a Distance!#absolutely unprompted #i wish i wasnt so terrified of spiders #they scare me So much....#the point of feeling physically ill! and like sobbing! or panicking! and this spider was Big!#i wish they'd stop coming into the house.... i hate killing them but i cant function knowing theyre there #but i can't force myself close enough to put them in a cup and bring them outside #so now i have THAT on my counter. disintegrated spider.#life is too fucking much lately... jesus.... i should really just bite the bullet and get this shit over with #no use waiting a month in perpetual terror unease and guilt. do it scared yk yk #im tired of my chest hurting and not being able to eat! i dont like it! i need change! terrifying horrible change!

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wishthefish · 5 months

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My request is draw Su She. My man deserves it

Oh no, he's all soggy! Who left Su Zongzhu in the milkshake? (⁠ʘ⁠言⁠ʘ⁠╬⁠)

He is less...wet in this drawing.

#your man is drowning #im so sorry u can only draw him sad and o don't know why #SMS deserves to be happy #so WHY #can't i draw him happy #maybe he needs a Xiandu to save him 🥺🥺#wish the fish #surprise surprise art student can do art #su minshan #su she #mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation

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pacificgasandelectric · 5 months

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Current Events in Silm fandom rlly reinforce my feeling that, despite claiming an ethos of acceptance/tolerance of anything that doesn't hurt ppl, a lot of ppl in the section of Silm fandom I frequent do follow a set of socially-agreed-upon mores about what concepts are "not acceptable" to discuss or propose (or the ways in which certain topics must be discussed to be acceptable), that you all seem to have agreed on despite the things those mores restrict not being harmful to anyone.

And when someone does say smth that violates those mores, the response is disproportionate to the amount of harm done (which is typically none, imo). I know it's tempting to say "but we just want people to be comfortable and safe", but treating ppl badly for the sin of sharing thoughts you dislike is NOT the same as preventing people from doing things that are harmful. The former is much more of a harmful behavior than the sharing of the thoughts that sets it off. Fannish etiquette, people: you shouldn’t act like someone’s meta makes them morally suspect just because you disagree with it; save the “this is morally bad” for things that are ACTUALLY harmful. We're all stuck on this website together & if you want to have any sort of community, you need to ACT like you're in a community, and that means letting other people say things you dislike. Block them if you need to! I block people all the time because i know it's better for me AND for them if we can both blog in peace.

I am not particularly comfortable with the young-queer-on-tumblr silm fandom rn due to this tendency to rebuke things that are uncomfortable rather than harmful. Maybe that's fine with you. But if your goal is to make all fans feel comfortable and accepted, you need to actually do that. If your goal is to make people who share your unwritten rules comfortable in your space, you need to admit that, and write those rules down, and curate your space so it follows them.

Edited 8:10am PST to clarify the specifics of the behavior I find concerning.

#mine #if there had been Actual Harm done i'd feel differently #but when ppl are this worked up over 'what if [female character] was Also a bad person in a way that's reprehensible to our current morals'#and start going ‘hm this person is morally suspect for their Taste In Fiction’ im like. yikes! and you do this in the War Crimes Fandom?!#and like listen i Get that esp in this fandom there's a high incidence of like. ppl who are genuinely bigoted and stuff #and it can be stressful to see stuff that reminds you of that bigotry and the way those ppl use the work to justify their own worldview #but that STILL doesn't give anyone the right to police stuff that Isn't Bigoted. that's just not how this works.#and then in terms of 'well it's not policing it's just disagreeing' i have to say. that's where Etiquette comes in and i'm frankly #unhappy & annoyed that so many ppl in my age group seem to care more about being Right than being comfortable to share a fannish space with #but again whatever maybe they don't want me in their space. that's fine! i don't want to be in your space if it doesn't want me.#but i wish they'd fucking ADMIT THAT instead of going 'ooooh we accept everyone' and then turning around #and censuring ppl whose ideas they find icky. you can't have it both ways is all i'm saying. pick one and actually do it. for all our sakes #haha i might regret this tomorrow but i'm sooooo sleep-deprived and so annoyed #sorry to my non-silm followers it's just that i'm right and i should say it

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possamble · 19 days

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anon ask responses

glad this one hit. the appeal of covert exhibitionism for farcille is that marcille IS italian and she IS catholic even if catholicism doesn't exist in this world. she suffers from thought crime guilt all the time and falin accidentally stumbles her way into using it to greatly benefit them both

oh can you fucking imagine marcille getting horrendously stuck while trying to get out of a tight dress. just absolute pathetic arms straightjacketed above her head and her face covered so she's basically in blindfolded bondage. falin walks in and at first is like laughing trying to help her but then goes hmm... what if....

i like the yelling a lot. fulfilling my fantasy of ao3 being like google docs and letting people highlight specific parts to comment on them i want to KNOW i love seeing that the parts im proud of hit the mark and being surprised hearing that the parts i didn't put much thought into were the best parts for some people

#asks #im really starting to lose track of which asks i've answered and which i haven't im sorry if yours slipped through slkdfjvnf #super appreciate all the compliments tho even if im a little shy to post them all #also yeah it was 200$ a month but i was like. crazy productive and also pulling insane hours doing complang bullshit for kryptonian #once i spent like five hours inventing a new word using the existing morphology all for a 500 word tiny fic #and i guess people really liked that!!#tw cnc mention #wish there was a. milder label for this kind of thing bc that's kind of a Hefty word for the dynamic im working with #but i can't exactly not mention it at all bc it technically would be coercion if it wasn't clearly negotiated within the relationship

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