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#i want smth from the man himself!
jerswayman · 1 month
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LOVE THY GOALIE. GIVE THY GOOD BOY HEAD PATS.
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dutybcrne · 7 months
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Nothing makes me smile more than knowing Sigewinne prolly referred to Wrios as 'little one' SO frequently before he got to take over Meropide
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anotherpapercut · 7 months
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I know several people who like LOVE seasons 5-7 (11th doctors run) and think the storylines and moffats writing are brilliant and I don't get it!!! what am I missing??? why does literally every single episode have the exact same stakes: Rory/Amy/the doctor is dead. forever. so dead. but wait!!! what if they aren't!!! why do so many of the explanations for why they're not actually dead feel so rushed like they were added at the last minute!! why does every single queer character act kind of weird and awkward about being queer!! why does the doctor casually say that women are inferior when no one's around!!! what the fuck!! hello!!!
#why is rory continuously proving himself as the Only Man To Ever Exist only for the characters/narrative to continuously imply hes lesser#amy tries to kiss the doctor?? at her wedding??????#when amy is stuck for 36 years why is she like i forgot how much rory loved me?? GIRL HE WAITED 1000 YEARS FOR YOU???? WHAT????#he is CONSTANTLY the butt of the joke despite being unequivocally without a doubt the best character from this era#what the fuck was up with river being their kid#THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY???? WHAT?? THAT SHIT WAS WEIRD RIGHT???#does anyone else find it annoying that moffat changed the opening theme and the tardis and the sonic and the doctor ALLLL at once#and then retconned the entire storyline the early seasons are based off of??#WHY IS THE DOCTOR SO GODDAMN ANNOYING?? LIKE SO MUCH MORE ANNOYING THAN THE OTHERS#and fucking sexist!!! so sexist!!!#anyone remember the characters who were like 'were the short fat and tall skinny gay men why do we need names' LIKE HUH???????#gay people still have names steven 😭#i feel like im going insane bc i have no one else to talk to abt it until my partner catches up#but you guys still think these seasons kinda suck right? like coming off of martha and DONNA and her AMAZING storyline#these just kinda pale in comparison right??????#the last centurion is probably the last really good plot of that era imo. none of the other plots come close to having an ending that cool#like rivers story couldve been amazing and then it was just uh. kinda weird. a bit confusing IDK#i dont want to be a dick when talking to people and like shit on smth they love but i genuinely have a hard time#finding kind things to say abt a lot of this era#also and this might just be me but i do not like amy and clara v much 😭 theyre so fuckin mean and not even funny#why were martha donna and rose sooooo well written and they all have rich backstories. we know their fuckin families!!#literally its never even fully explained what the fuck happened to amys parents 😩😩 they just move on. the only friend of theirs#ever shown is fucking river??? as a kid??#am i the only one who found all thay confusing
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cornerful · 2 months
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Sméagol and the Gift
'Now!' said Sam. 'At last I can deal with you!' He leaped forward with drawn blade ready for battle. But Gollum did not spring. He fell flat upon the ground and whimpered.
'Don't kill us,' he wept. 'Don't hurt us with nassty cruel steel! Let us live, yes, live just a little longer. Lost lost! We're lost. And when Precious goes we'll die, yes, die into the dust.'
Devastated by this. Just a little longer, he begs. Even though his existence is a torment. Even though the will that holds him to life is barely his own anymore. He has long outlived his time but it's such a cruelty that now the only freedom for him is in death. I'm glad Sam didn't kill him but the whole scenario is awful.
When a mortal keeps a ring of power he does not gain more life, he continues, denied natural mortality as the fear of death is amplified and twisted into fear of separation, nothing matters anymore but the keeping, the continuing. In that miserable existence there is no peace, and at its end there is no graceful goodbye to life, there is only dust. Sudden, empty, and final.
It would take murder to spare him that. Or falling with the ring into the fire.
Bilbo let it go in time (did he feel anything when it was destroyed?) Frodo is freed of it now, though the toll it extracted for the separation was at very least a finger. It was too late for Gollum for the price to be anything other than it was, and that's brutal.
If you live long enough, death is no longer the enemy. What Sauron did to Gollum ensured that it would always be the enemy, to be feared and avoided for ever, once time and the ring had fashioned it into the only escape left. Evil.
#lotr newsletter#suicide mention in tags#haunted by the au in which gollum goes into the fire with the ring On Purpose#bc he still couldnt separate himself from it but frodo's compassion had somewhat released him from its evil#in a way an honor to frodo's quest and in a way an act of mercy to be able to give up the self-torment#which gives me shrimp feelings bc of the everything but also back to the original point that it is so tragic that death is all that awaits#bc death is natural and that was taken from him. what is the will to live in the absence of natural death?#smth deeply horrible about that#matt bugg screaming we'll be dust. so famous and rent free#lotrn325#damn it im having more thoughts#wraiths vs gollum: discuss#the nature of the ring kept affects the nature of its possession no? those rings were made FOR thralldom#sauron has power over gollum but not That Much and his own ring is all abt the domination#what would a 2000 year old gollum even be like ._.#the wraiths are probably even more tragic bc at this point they're like...undead. even death isn't freedom#on that topic what happened to the witch-king's spirit fr#I'm pretty sure he isn't ever actually called that in the book but it's epic and gender and way snappier than lord of the nazgul#anyway shoutout to i think yambits for breaking the lore and giving them peace that was sick#where's my gollum rehab fic#i know he's a horrible little man who is constantly trying to murder my boys but i love him so#the au...gollum gaining the willpower to destroy himself because he was given trust and kindness and companionship for once. FUCKED UP.#fucked up horrible i need a minute. being shown compassion and then becoming more self-compassionate. epic#that compassion entailing seeking the freedom of death your soul was denied bc this is fantasy and somehow the exact#arc that usually leads to fighting to live is now flipped. HUH.#yeah jirt alluded to his motivation being For Frodo but i maintain that the willingness to die is HUGE there and extremely relevant#me and my red string keeping me company#ugh tag championships i win i think but at what cost#who wants to spin around miserably in a pool like franknfurter with me as we listen to gollum's song#tam you're already invited i have a floaty for u
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dnangelic · 1 month
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what ghost haunts you?
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the ghost of devotion .
your body was crafted to be loved and to be adored. you write with the touch of a poet, the fingertips of a lover. if you are not loved, you are not whole. you are made to be sculpted by the hands of another into something perfect. without their love, you feel as though you may crumble without the support of purpose their touch provides. when ernest hemingway wrote “it was too good to last.” when ocean vuong wrote, “i miss you more than i remember you.” when david foster wallace wrote, “everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.”
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the ghost of the damned .
you rot with the need for something more than what you have. the ghost is built up of the feeling of stagnation. you find it staring at the ceiling with sleep - blurred vision ; this is the third night you have met its eyes in the early hours of the morning. you tear yourself apart looking for comfort, for validation, for acceptance. but it never feels quite enough. you ruin everything you touch, despite every attempt to be more than what you have always been. you would sculpt yourself as something perfect for those around you, but you are no artist. when albert camus wrote, “be silent, heart; there is no hope!” when lucille clifton wrote, “maybe i should’ve wanted less. maybe i should’ve ignored the bowl in me, begging to be filled.” when taylor swift said, “i’m still on that tightrope, i’m still trying everything to get you looking at me.”
tagged by @primordyalsoul ty sumin!!!!
#TAGMEME.#iiiiiIIINTERESTING.....#dark's is fine as is but dai#his relationship with independence/dependence can get a little complicated#his desire is to be independent and he's stubborn about it- hence his rejecting dark's concerns or help sometimes#(that's where the 'what took you so long to call me?' comes from in tandem with constantly reminding daisuke#that they're one and the same; that dark -is- on daisuke's side and very much so. wholly loves and accepts him)#dark's longing is also a reflection of daisuke's longing; to be accepted and loved even within himself for his own flaws and faults#the reality for daisuke too is that so many people around him help and try very hard to care for him from his parents to his friends#the same way everybody remarks he's always trying to do his best for others- which is partly a symptom of dai wanting to be reliable#rather than solely relying on others all of the time... it goes in a big circle#smth smth coexistence and daisuke's simultaneous fear of being ostracized/persecuted for being dark#smth smth dante's inferno and the circle of thieves stealing each other's bodies but the way dark and daisuke learn to share#smth smth you were born to be a phantom thief but it's love that transforms you#dark's longing and loneliness is simultaneously daisuke's longing and loneliness always and forever BUT dark's stagnancy#his supposed state of perfection his immutability that makes him unearthly unhuman - he quietly loathes#dark relies on daisuke to change him too; to be kinder. warmer. the boy's his heart#the same way he's daisuke's supporting dream and aspiration!!!#aw man tag essay. embarrassing. point is dai's very devoted was born for it was destined for it#his family's love gets to the point it's overbearing sometimes but it's so so so genuine and so is his own once he gets to a state of it#but one cannot dismiss ...... the stubborn 'i can do it myself i don't need you' attitude(tm) dai has at dark sometimes#(even though dark is sooooo pathetic n desperate to be relied on)
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stupitunclehal · 9 months
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bound to keeping dimitri in various states of disheveled by ideology.
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pocketramblr · 1 year
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dad for one but with rei...
Could you like, imagine if Rei was his daughter he didn't know what to do with, she's strong and cold but doesn't particularly want to be a villain, and he doesn't much want her to be one either, not in any way that threatens his stuff or her life at least. But then he hears Endeavor's been looking around for a match and he thinks "oh, there's no way he's gonna fall for an ice match right, he knows that would end awful right" but uh he fell for the match and the fake family in need and Rei's beautiful but aloof air, so,,, why not stick with it and see where it goes? it'll be good blackmail material, right? and its not like his daughter has a life of her own, or anything. he can bring her back to the base after and no one is any wiser, and she'll hate heroes even more and- kid?? and a second kid so soon? does she just want to get it over with? well seems like it's working, his underling tells him Touya is having problems with his quirk, but now instead of divorce and setting himself up for blackmail, Endeavor just keeps trying?? now four grandkids?? and Rei, showing her nerves on the phonecall with him for the first time in years, tells him that Touya tried to kill his baby brother and this one actually had the quirk Endeavor wanted and AfO thought impossible?? AfO decides nows the time to collect his family back and gets Touya before he can completely burn up, but Rei realizes she'd rather have her kids stuck with Enji than AfO, so she chooses to burn Shoto's face so Enji keeps him close and sends her away and??? i dunno she just hopes everyone forgets about Fuyumi and Natsuo because they're safer ignored and neglected than anything else???
#i dunno might be fun to play with in a universe similar to blade's naive melody#which i havent read yet because i want to wait until its all up for my own mental wellness due to some heavy themes#but that i love already anyway#hm yeah Rei hit with the stick is interesting#definetely feels like afo playing a long game that he hasnt actually fully thought through himself right#he's both a chessmaster and building little towers of blocks to knock down#or heck maybe Rei told Enji the truth#and she was institutionalized to keep her from being too close to any secrets but not put her in jail?? or smth??#and they just. never told the kids anything#thats if you want to play it close to canon anyway#if you DONT oh hoho#there are many options#perhaps Rei arranging the match on her own to try and get hero help and just telling her dad its a villain scheme#but then idk enji doesnt believe her? because afo is a boogyman story?and she was too convincing with her fake family actors?#or does believe her idk#maybe rei thought the perfect quirk would draw her father out to where enji would see and believe her???#actually everyones playing chess and blocks now#just chaos#except the todo kids who seem all completely unaware#it'd be funny tho if afo tells dabi hes his grandpa and dabi's like 'i could not care less man'#afo: oh. i thought i could manipulate you that way#maybe he still thinks the irony of afo's grandson and nana's grandson on a villain team together#not that they're very good teammates but still kjhghjk#anon#pocket talks to people
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hauntingblue · 3 months
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Jinbe not even on the crew yet and already talking about sacrificing himself for his captain... insane
#also jinbe has already sacrificed himself for luffy but alas... well not died but in other ways#the narrator making sure you know EVERYTHING relies on luffy (the one person fanous for not following plans and doing whatever he wants)#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 829#i was thinking oh sanji is going to have to act like he loves pudding to not raise any alarms with everything that happened#but no... she looks cute so it comes naturally to him.... now let's see if he can contain himself from kissing her and not get shot xd#not them all having guns on lmao... reiju came prepared#luffy is so excited for his entrance.... like thats his wedding or smth (it kinda is but shhh)#i was like oh queen of the pink zone i get it but then STUSSY. I WEEZED#love how the director of an economy newsletter is a criminal lmao#germa has contact with the newsletter of course.....#oh thats katakuri.... i thot that was the frijoles guy#so what does the frijoles guy do then if not jellybeans???? bean paste? didnt get it tbh#big mom didnt change dress??? damn#episode 830#sanjis wedding is the event of the year man... so many conspiracies everyone wants to be there#well i hope the door doesn't talk lmao#the tamate box oof.... well lets keep it closed for now please#bege going on with his plan and the door just: 👁👄👁#oh no more face....#omg he can't contain himself ajdhakdjsk SANJI KEEP IT TOGETHER i think the fact she wants to kill him just makes it better....#i know what this sick fuck likes.... look at nami..... trust your memories ahslahska not a kiss on the forehead boy lmao#the blood jet propulsion 😭😭😭 your white suit akdhaibdkajskaq sanji 😭😭😭 even pudding is distraught akdhakshak outfit change i guess#pudding's dress has pockets ~~ to put her gun in ~~#reiju just depressed pondering on her lasts moments alive just sipping on tea.... girl its gonna be fine you will see#omg political marriage <3 let's all clap!!#bege thinking sanji is a good actor ajdhaksjka well.....#episode 831
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time-is-restored · 1 year
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i have literally nowhere else to put this i apologise for the spam. the absolute best thing to come out of s3 trent is without a doubt the fucking earnestness... like in s1-2 he always came across as a very self-assured kind of guy, who knew how he came off (ie: intimidating) and enjoyed it. but seeing that paired with him being silly + completely relaxing in certain company??? pulling ridiculous faces at vodka + scrunching up his nose when he smiles @ colin + making the most ABSURD 'i really wanna say something right now but i feel like im interrupting' noises ive ever heard in my fucking LIFE??? its like. he is cool as shit and he is self assured AND he can make dumb fucking sherlock holmes jokes and dance ridiculously. its like!!!! he's lame but he's also not bc he's exactly as confident in being lame as he is being cool. do u see the vision. he has killed the part of him that cringes!!!! its just.. that unshakeable self confidence that u see in his fucking swaggers into frame includes all of himself + his different moods and eccentricities and that's just so based to me idk. unironically live ur best life wear the loudest combination of prints and patterns and primary colours uve ever seen in ur life while espousing the virtues of extended museum hours!!! contain multitudes! get silly with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#ted lasso spoilers#combined with james lance's hc abt trent's past its just. like!!#the growth from 'i can't be what you want me to be so im going to be Better than them + tear them down'#-> 'i know my reputation so im going to lean into that + be ruthless + intimidating' ->#'actually fuck this? fuck this! im just gonna be me and if anyone has a problem w then L To Them I'm Actually Living'#also this is just my hcs at this point but like. i do think ted helped a lot w the latter part of this process in so much as. ted embodied#someone who was Visibly weak + vulnerable and had no armour/no sense of self preservation#(the opposite of trent's persona) and made no effort to change anything abt himself to prevent attack. obviously ted has a lot of social +#class advantages that make that less risky for him than it would be for others but like. u get the drift#and i THINK. seeing how without that armour/facade ted was able to be rlly direct + earnest w connecting w ppl#like asking an interviewer 'what do u love?' and rlly genuinely wanting to know the answer#and bc TRENT was specifically in the position of 'i could fucking destroy u rn and u wouldn't put up a fight'#that kind of. shifted his perspective a bit? like. damn what would that say abt me if i wrote a hit piece on this guy rn#i disagree VERY strongly w the idea that trent's more positive character development moments happened ONLY bc of ted (i don't think that's#true for anyone in the show tbh) BUT i think ted's presence at a pivotal point in his life was what helped him confront the fact that#at this stage in his life all his intellectual armour was doing was making him into someone Mean rather than just incisive#like. 'is this a fucking joke' is not cutting journalism. u get me??#and arguably that's a fine and even safe choice to make when ur younger and have no support/reputation backing u up#but after decades? its like man wtf are we doign here if were literally just living preventatively#smth smth i hope i am not just a tumblr blog to u but a blog who is inventing the brain chemistry of a sitcom side character#w each new episode they watch. trent crimm is my best friend irl i know he would have scorching hot takes abt each new season of survivor#and would earnestly heckle the jury and final 3 alike
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latinokaeya-moving · 1 year
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treated myself to the very short beginning section of three houses just now but i had to stop n turn off my switch when the game asked me to pick a house bc i started agonising over whether to go w edelgard first or just jump straight into the claude route
#x#fe posting#everyone and their momma says to leave verdant wind for last bc it’s the most satisfying to tie up all loose ends route#and to do azure moon or crimson flower first. bc they work better as one of the first routes#and i TOLD myself ok ok sure i’ll do edelgard first then that’s fine. i like her and a lot of the black eagle characters im sure it’ll be#fun. but meeting claude in game and giggling n twirling my hair over everything he says is KILLING MEEEEEE i can’t abandon him i can’t IM#GONNA FEEL SOOOO BAD#he’s so charming crying real tears rn. i Know what i need to do but man…. pain n suffering …#i remember seeing a take somewhere once that said smth abt how claude gets so permanently shut out of the true potential of his goals on any#route that doesn’t pick him bc he doesn’t get the chance to really establish himself / figure out all the secrets of the game#and so he’s just narratively. barred/locked out from his dreams for good. and ever since i read that it makes me wanna crawl up n DIE when#i think abt it CLAUDE. CLAUDEEEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also just in general he’s SOO funny and quirky i love him so much he only said like maybe ten lines total but he’s literally such a riot#playing the game while knowing what his entire deal is is HILARIOUS he’s so fucking funny. and painfully tragic even from the get go. AUGH#one of his first things being calling himself the embodiment of distrust is so. it’s just so!!!!! like he WANTS u to know it’s all an act#EVERYONE knows it he’s not being subtle at all BUT THATS THE POINT!!!!! bc if everyone knows it’s an act that he plays around w then they#wont go snooping around as much!!!! AUGHHHHHHHHH !!!! CLAUDE !!!!#im going crazy i shouldn’t have played this i need to finish my last assignment first. n then i can lose my mind over claude#OHHH also can i just say his + edelgards first interactions are SOOOOO funny they’re so much fun. i love their little banter n back n forth#literally iconic showstopping no one can top them EVER#anyways. it’s almost 3am i need to sleep n write my essay tmrw lol
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lunartrashbin · 1 year
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The mere thought of Angeal is about to make me an endangered species
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redxriiot · 2 years
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Kiri uhhh getting matching rings as a gift for the Gum fam before leaving for America after graduation
#hc#//Mans doesn't tell them; maybe gives them to Fat Gum when the man's caught on and gives him the explanation#//That it's like a promise he'll come back to them at some point; that it's his way of always remembering them and hope they will too#//Like an advanced form of his little clover ring habit#//But now it's something they can actually keep with them; something that won't wither away#//Probably came up with the idea in his second year; wanting something more lasting#//Saved up money then got them for his fam; but when the panic in his final year sets in they become so much more than what he intended#//From a little childish habit of wanting a bit of him to be with them always to a 'I won't forget you; please dont forget me.' A PROMISE#//Makes them out of a sturdy material so they don't break easy#//Not that any of them would wear them on their hands. Nah; prolly'd keep it on a necklace of smth. Fat Gum'd prolly have his in his pocket#//Or on his desk; for him in particular it'd prolly be safer there#;mun has spoken#//Posts brought to you by me thinking of Kit and my babs jksjbkdrg#//He'd probably still have Fat Gum give them the rings instead of giving them himself. Is less anxiety or fear they'd stop him in this case#//More like he's just so embarrassed; he'd prolly combust if he gave them to the fam in person#//Like; is it too sentimental? Would they clown on him for it?? WOULD HE GET SECONDHAND EMOTIONS FROM THEM???#//Nah; that's now their little surprise to discover once he's safely on a plane jdsbfkdf
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dutybcrne · 2 months
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Thunderings are happening, my brain has funneled off into hcs mode
#//Aka; guess who am I gonna ramble on abt rn lol#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#hc; kaeya#//That's right; babes!#//Anywho; Kae is NOT a fan of thunder#//If it's not tales of the Electro Archon from his father; then it's the circumstances in which they'd parted#//The moment the storm rolled in; he was terrified esp of the sound and ran himself ragged trying to find a place to escape it#//Damn near ran himself off a cliff had a strike of lightning not made him stumble back from it#//Managed to find his way to the winery where he hid for a bit before Tunner found him and Crepus managed to persuade him to stay#//After damn near running the man winded bc he thought he was trying to chase him off or worse#//The fear lingered and festered more the longer he stayed in the Land of the Anemo Archon; out of guilt for 'deceiving' the Ragnvindrs#//For letting him stay there; for not telling them why he was here. Grew up half expecting to get Smote or smth at any time#//Esp whenever Luc dragged him into mischief or he went to the Church with them for whatever reason#//Mostly the former; but bc it was Luc asking him to clown; he didn't mind the 'potential risk'#//Even as a knight; he tended to get extremely skittish and quicker-tempered when it came to patrol during storms. Still does#//Tho at that time; thinly veiling the fact that he very much felt like a cornered animal every time he had to go and couldn't get out of i#//Esp if Luc was the one who asked him to come with; bc like before; he really didn't ever want nor like to say no to him#//The aversion got worse bc thundered the night of his Confrontation with Diluc too; absolutely increased how much he hated it#//His aversion tends to manifest in a drop in temperatures or frost formation; as well as him pausing and quickly glancing about#//As if he's half expecting a threat of some sort; really he's quickly locating things to distract himself with#//If he's with a trusted person; he'll tend to wordlessly press against their side; then either brush it off like he just wanted to#//Or mutter a quick 'thunder' and Not Elaborate whatsoever. Either they get it or they don't#//He WILL get annoyed if he's teased about it. And it will take him AWHILE before he lets the person comfort him during bc of it#//Bc from that point; he will assume it's done mockingly or bc they feel they HAVE to; and he hates that#//If they let him be or even support him more instead; he will make a passing mention abt how much he hates thunder to start cuing them in#//They just gotta show they are a Safe person--bonus is this opens up a LOT of doors when it comes to trust later#//It doesn't help that he already hates dealing with loud sounds as is; even the blasts from Klee Jumpy Dumpties set him on edge#//But the bad memories he has to thunder make it the worse by far to him
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trollbreak · 2 years
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Derrek would also make for a hell of a narrator.
#an alternate universe where he just sort of. didn’t manage to pull his gaze from the gaping maw of the abyss tearing into his reality. au in#which this man doesn’t get necessarily worse but he doesn’t get nearly as much better so he’s just rocking around in the void or smth#bc if he could interact with shit he could. 10/10 impulsive ass dude would absolutely poke the bear if he didn’t have interpersonal#connections to care about. and maybe even if he did but was still cruising in his ‘this is all fake so who cares’ stage before going ‘it’s#real enough to them and it can be real enough to me if I let it and that’s what I’m going to choose to matter’#grips u. this guy doesn’t even go here and I’ve got so fucking many thoughts abt him bothering my guys here.#he would’ve fully handed himself to doc crimes for a while there bc dude was doing Bad and also had a whole thing about pain and the color#it makes his blood. mev would’ve looked at him and gone ‘why are you the way you are’ and he’d just laugh and shrug bc he has a perfectly#clear answer for her but if he says it either she believes him and she’s stuck with that now or she doesn’t believe him and he’s just#spouting bullshit and he doesn’t want to have to confront either outcome so he’d rather just do a stupid lil laugh and go ‘I dunno man’ and#then go back to watching his blood pool on the floor like it’s the prettiest fucking thing he’s ever seen and#should really use some aspects of him in other characters bc I miss playing with the things he’s outgrown
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morningmarionette · 2 months
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im currently writing an atsugawa (I hate the name shin soukoku or whatever I'm sorry but I'm actually not. also I cannot pronounce soukoku {this is the real reason I don't use soukoku}) and I don't even ship it lmaoo
#maris bsd 🗞️#like its not a bad ship for my personal tastes#I like them alot more in trios tho I've realized#absolutely adore anytime atsu aku and kyouka are together#two disaters and a teenage girl going through the inexplicable horrors#my favorite#I also desparately wish more people saw the atsulucygawa vision.....#anyways the fic is actually more like before an establish relationship but you can read it as romantic if you want#you'd have to work extra hard though because their bickering isn't like#romantic bickering they're actually kinda getting on each others nerves#but then they have a cute moment talking about their respective agency co workers and realize they do have common ground and that's how muc#they love their lil found dysfunctional families#actually its mostly akutagawa talking Abt port mafia (IM SICK OF PPL SAYING HE DOESNT CARE ABT THEM IDC I wRITE CANON NOW TY) and atsu#realizing that akus never rlly been in a position where he could safely and openly show his affection for anyone#and the one time he did they left (dazai) (this is how the conversation starts)#(aku says smth Abt gin and atsus like “awhh you care alot :3” and akus like “no I don't” and then atsus like “ykw its okay to care Abt ppl”#and akus like “:(( but what if they leave again” and atsus like “but what if they stay?” and basically lists all the reasons why they'd sta#and then akus gets all soft and has a nice moment of caring about everyone he works with#(except maybe chuuya I cant rmb any times they've interacted and i cant think of anything fun or like core memory things they'd do together#and then aku is like “what Abt you and your family? how are they?” and then it's atsus turn to be all sappy about their family#and so then they end up having a way better day than expected AND they walked away from it with a new friend and an even better#understanding of each other and stuff#yeah#reminder I don't even ship atsugawa but wow I feel deeply abt them both.#maybe Id like them as like QPR??#I can see that alot better#but man atsulucygawa....#even they'd probably be QPR though imo#anyways pushing my “aku doesn't feel like he can allow himself to share his affection for people because he doesn't want them to leave”#agenda ty for coming to my Ted talk
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kindacreepy-kindaugly · 3 months
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Ngl I'm scared it wasn't just my love for him that broke off that night, but my ability to love at all
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