#i threw away my last one
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*redesigns my grian the night before the new hc season*
#i threw away my last one#tbh i think i hadnt really realized it but i dont know how much ive ever liiked my grian#i started drawing him like that bc when i joined the fandom i didnt know how to interpret his skin all that much#i just looked at what the fandom did#so uh#finally grabbing him and making him something i actually like#just a more subtle bird guy#headwings are cool but i like a little less creature on this guy#grian#grian fanart#my art#hes not tooooo different#but ive changed up a few features
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some misc scribbles <3
#mildly happy with the last one it was a pain in my ASS-#home bbg i love you but drawing buildings is the Bane of my Existence#ugh symmetry.... ugh Volume....#no oh god im looking at them and theyre looking wonkier and wonkier#it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to be done it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to be done it doesnt have to be perfect it ju#anyway two of these are teeny requests from a while back when i Asked for some#somebody asked for home & wally and someone else asked for an eddie hug#threw in two tiny wally doodles bc uh. runs away#scribble salad#ok 3 am gotta sleep gotta stop looking at these#the longer i look the worse it all gets just POST-
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“It could be that the loss of her children drove the Queen deeper into her darker desires...but, I don’t believe she was fighting against them that hard before that particular tragedy. No monster does.” (Patreon)
Bonus:
Hmm, wonder what he could cover those holes with :3c
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#UkaGaster's answers about Toriel really interest me :3c#As evidenced by the quote caption lol - but his other ones are very interesting too! Since it sounds like she's still around!#Poor classic Handplates!Gaster believed Tori dead for such a long time while she was at the Ruins#Meanwhile Fellplates!Gaster is just like ''? I saw the Queen last week she threw me into the pricker bushes? -.ò'' lol#But anyhow lol ♪ The implications that they're still in each other's vicinity really makes me curious about their relationship!#And how Toriel might react to knowing that someone - someone other than her - is having So Much Success on one of her sore spots#Not just of having children but of the constant reminders of Gaster's success where she has to live every day with a heavy heart for her own#Being cruel to him over it - well that's just par for the course isn't it ♪#He mentions that she's much more of an emotional sadist - insulting him and then making it Very clear that she does Not approve of the holes#''They're ugly and you should feel ashamed for drawing so much attention to something so unsightly''#I do think that her knowing that he's so intent on being kind and merciful and then twisting the knife on how much he's hurting her-#Making him feel guilty for daring to even attempt the betterment of all - for giving pieces of himself away and try to be a good person#''If anyone will break my spirit it will be her'' :)#Although that's all assuming that Toriel even knows about the brothers! :0 When I thought about it later it'd make more sense if she doesn't#It was still too good to not do something with the idea hehe - but imagine her betrayal if/when she found out tho she'd kill him on the spot#Gosh I haven't drawn Tori in foreeeeever I can't even remember the last time#Doing a/nother study on her would probably be fun haha she's rather plain how I draw her currently#I wonder if her Fellplates version would also wear reading glasses hehe#And the bonus :3c Where are the plates featured in Fellplates? Surely it's not just called that as a reference right ♪ Hehehe
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Surgery is at 9:45 (finally, thank the heavens cause I'm going insane here at how bad hospital communication is) so! Pen doodles before I'm drugged up on anesthesia.
OCs of mine as a comfort in my suffering (and it's easier in pen bc they're boring designs unlike fanart I'd want to draw).
#my characters#its been a miserable experience tbh#the surgeon kept putting off surgery bc of other tests that he wanted#which would be fine if the stuff ever got done#i was told monday that i couldnt eat after midnight#fine cool i get it then i was brought food i had to turn away#then they told me surgery wouldnt happen and im like cool its been#16 hours since i was last given food can i have something#and three people said yes#then someone came to get me to one of the tests#so that took over an hour and then i was miserable and hungry#and then instead of clear liquid diet the doctor said i could have#any liquid not just clear so that was cool until i threw it up hours later#and im pretty sure after not being allowed food OR water or anything for 17 hours#my body wasnt expecting it at all so yeah. wild#i hate eating as is and put it off as long as i can but#17 hours is a long time when you cant sleep bc pain or discomfort
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Some favs of mine 🫶🏼
feeling feelings. thank you for this attempt on my life, i’m calling in sick the rest of this week and it’s your fault <3
#💌 - mailbox.#nonniesnovio#HOW COULD YOU#SO MANY OF THESE ARE MY FAVOURITE VERNONS TOO 😭#let’s break this down because i? am having a breakdown over it.#aka how quickly can j embarrass herself all the way to 0 followers lmao<3#starting with racer fit vern was an actual act of violence. the vein on his shoulder and those eyes GOODNIGHT TO ME ?????#im a basic british girlie ok. if u put a pretty man in an overshirt and a backwards hat i WILL start screaming.#it’s a reflex action I don’t know why but my neighbours dogs are going feral because i am reaching impossible frequencies rn#THE JEEEEEEEEEANS#this vern was an instant wallpaper u don’t understand no one understands what this picture means to me#if ur new around here. i am a nonnie thigh enthusiast. and for that reason i will be passing away#dark hair follow tour vernon does things to me. kenzo vernon with a fuckin EARRING? he DOES THINGS to me. im not okay.#the last one specifically you don’t understand what happened to me the day that dropped okay#I speed ran every stage of grief and almost threw myself headfirst into the shallow end of a swimming pool#the soft hair / checked tie / DAD TRAINERS !!!!!!!!!! THE DAD!!!!!!! TRAINERS!!!!!!!!!!#anyway to sum up i have some normal feelings about vernon yeah. im all good 🩵#thank you for your invaluable contribution 🩵
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I hate men and their need to act like any emotional reactions you have while you’re on your period is just you being “hormonal” and “not yourself”
(Rant in tags)
#like sorry I’m actually defending myself rather than just letting you talk shit about me directly infront of me??#when I’m on my period I tend to show more of my real emotions rather than what people want to see so yeah#but the conversation I was having with my brother was fine- I wasn’t talking to him in any way#he asked me about the monster that I had because like an hour or two ago he asked me not to throw it away since it’s one with the cod#qr code thing on it and he asked me if I threw it away and I said “no it’s not empty right now it’s infront of the microwave” and right#after my dad jumps in saying nobody needs to take offense to how I’m talking or how I’m being? when I didn’t say anything in any way? like#my brother didn’t even have the time to respond to me before he jumped in and started indirectly talking shit#I’m so done right now- all he’s done the last few days is nit pick at me about stupid shit like yesterday we missed the our bus stop and we#get off and this man starts yelling at me that now he doesn’t get to eat (mind you he never explicitly said he wanted to get off at that#stop I thought we were just going directly home)- he constantly says shit on purpose to get a rise out of me and now for some reason my#brother (the one that is 17) has been budding in and telling me to stfu and all this shit and my dad feeds off it and uses it as more of a#reason to justify how he’s treating me and it’s just so upsetting cause he does know I’m in a more vulnerable time right now since my period#is always really difficult anyways really sorry for the rant don’t have any friends I can talk to irl about any of this so to the internet#it goes 🙃#random0lover emotional dumps#random0lover rambling ♡
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Maybe I really should start with the model plane collection. Feel like I need some small airplanes hanging from my ceiling like it's an 80s boys bedroom
#oh but I'd probably be soo basic about it like I'd probably just get Bf 109 & Ju 87 or smth. maybe some kind of spitfire#I know my father had some in his bedroom as a kid but he probably threw them away at some point#should get myself some Revell model kit for the holidays. has been ages since I last built one!#⚓
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Behold a smol Edward doodle featuring a disembodied hand
#yes I’m supposed to be doing homework rn#but instead I’m making masterpieces#/jk#I know this is not a masterpiece lol#anyway#I’ve got a lot of link doodles all over my notes too#last semester I made one I actually liked#it was a quick redraw of young time snickering#you know from the Gerudo town comic#but alas#I threw it away while cleaning out my notebooks#fma#fmab#trin rambles#trin makes art#I guess XD
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when I was in 8th grade I had the same teacher for physics and geometry and he was like one of those dudes who always wanted to be one of the cool kids but never was so now he got to be the cool teacher that all the cool kids loved so he would like straight up bully the weird kids (me and my friends lol ✌️) and I thought it was wack as hell that a grown ass man was calling my friend, a 13 year old girl, stupid in front of the whole class for asking a fucking question so I constantly told him to back off and would get in full on screaming matches with the man about why he was not allowed to treat us like that (at one point I basically told him that if he ever made my friend cry again I would not rest until his teaching license was revoked lol) and it got to the point where he was like. actually for real beefing with me during class and in the hallways when he saw me and sometimes after school
anyway I just wanna say first of all fuck you Mr. Glasson, second of all what kind of like 28 y/o man has a fr beef with a fucking 13 year old. I literally wore a cloak to school. he was having beef with a child with pink hair, in a cloak. can you fucking imagine jsbdksbdndmdbnd
#one time i was early for class and i was in like the advanced program so most of us had the majority of our core clases together#so we were all talking abt the history honework due later today and i told my friend that i had made drawings for my answers#and showed her and my other friends and then my other classmates wanted to see so they were like passing it around#then like literally the second the bell rang‚ right as it was being handed back to me to be put away‚ he snatched it out of my fucking hand#and ripped part of it and crumpled it up and threw it in the fucking trash!#and fucking said 'class has started no other work is allowed'#which was bullshit because he used to help the jocky kids with their fucking other classes homework during class so fuck him#anyway i was really upset because i had worked really hard on it and i was afraid i would get a 0 on the assignment#then after class this kid that was one of the cool kids who had like never talked to me in any sort of kind way before#walked up to me and gave me the assignment back#he had dug it out of the trash (glasson actually made sure to put it under food that was in there :))#and hed wiped it off and smoothed it out and taped it back together#and he couldnt really meet my eyes but as he handed it to me he said 'im sorry. that was really messed up. you didnt deserve that' and left#it still stands out to me as an unbelievably kind gesture#shout out to horned (his last name)#oh and another time id finished literally all my class work and my homework and id helped my friend finish hers#and there was like 20 minutes of class left to i decided to practice my circular gallifreyan and the mother fucker did the exact same thing#bitch what did you want me to do? i completed my work and then did your fucking job for you and helped my friends#should i have stared at a wall????#FUCK you mr glasson i hope ur wife left u#also i stole his personal copy of his favorite book AND a textbook AND a graphing calculator#bc he told us once he had to pay for them out of his own pocket and they were really expensive ❤️#i also did manage to kick him in the shin once and stomp on his foot another time without getting in trouble#amd i always wondered why he didnt have me suspended#but now im p sure it was to cover his own ass because he had 2 classes of witnesses who'd seen him say nasty shit to me#as well as an entire hallway of teachers who once heard us fucking screaming at each other#that was the time i threatened to get his license revoked ❤️❤️
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i think if i had to cherrypick an objectively funniest moment out of that fuckin nearly week long manic episode, hearing the crystal clear question asked "did we inherit bipolar from our dad?" despite us already knowing this is a strong ass contender
#dave.txt#also my he would not fucking say that kingpin moment which still gets us#should post that later#the fatigue broooooooo.#ugh.#we shouldnt have been dealing with addiction so quietly last year tbh.#we were scared.#we were spiraling so hard that i mindlessly threw away one friend group and accidentally trashed another#well not. i. us. no i in team and all. still trying not to shift the weight#and idk. even with attempts at trying to repair our social life#we still didnt want to be the fucking problem you know#but viewing ourselves like That. a problem to be fixed. it made hurting ourselves trivial yknow#still makes me shaky to think about. weve been uh.#me and blue especially have been doing a lot of feelings talking
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shining solo ep 8. my reaction rn 😐😐 took it a bit hard lmao
#tp#very mixed feelings. as someone who associates herself with jeongwoo and having very similar personalities... this ep hurt a lot#idk idk#i mean i get it but i also absolutely do not get it#so many thoughts im taking this very personally what the heck#i cant really warm up to half of this part's girlies im sorry#i loved everyone on part one#as someone who also struggles with managing my social energy lvls... this was a slap in the face#bc my boy jeongwoo truly gave it his ALL the whole day and even managed to perform a couple songs for the girls#despite already having spent the whole day together#and his energy must have been SPENT already and then they pick him as MVP of the day and he has that 1:5 date with all of the girls#by himself!! which is so terrifying imagine being the one person who everyone's attention is on and you have to interact with these ppl#that you arent very comfortable with but you still try your best to give them a good time#AND THEN!! they give you NOTHING in return?? not even a recorder?? no jewel no recording nothing. just ignored like that by everyone#and i get that the girls dont know who's voting for who so they might have believed someone else was gonna give him a jewel or sth#but no one gives him anything (positive OR negative)#and yeah. he was absolutely shocked at the empty safe. i would have been too.#and why did they not give him a jewel y'all might ask??? IT WAS BC HE FELL SILENT DURING THE LAST BIT: THE DINNER#my gosh that's the part that i take offense to personally bc it's really really really difficult to always engage in convos with ppl#after spending the whole day with them already?? and your social battery is down so you quietly enjoy a simple meal??#and then all the girlies threw him away like that??#i mean yeah you're surrounded by sweet men who spend the day appealing themselves to you but come on??#i would have been so impressed by jeongwoo and thankful that he put that much effort in and would understand how difficult it is to#maintain it till the very end because not everyone has hyunsuk's boundless social energy#no offense hyunsuk i love you dearly#and also??? what's up with admitting that you lack some confidence upfront??#the girl's reasoning for giving yoshi the voice recorder was that he said he holds himself to a high standard and lacks confidence sometimes#and i get it. being confident is more attractive than someone who's always insecure and puts themselves down#(and makes the other person uncomfortable) but they were having an honest and deep convo when the thing he said in that convo was used#against him in the end? i would feel kind of betrayed too bc being able to admit that you feel insecure sometimes is a v brave thing to do!!
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Eeeee I am still so very excited about the car I'm getting! I've got all the documents they needed from me put together now that I'm off work; only thing I'm missing is a piece of mail, but I'm gonna see if I can swing something at work in a bit
#the last mail i got was a statement from my bank for my savings account because i keep forgetting to turn off paper statements#with it being a relatively new account#and i threw that away a few weeks ago... there hasnt been more mail with my name on it since#gotta make one last walk to the bank and send one more email... then tomorrow after work its back to the dealership#eeeeeee#zen texts
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i wish i was making this up for shits and giggles but i went to an anti bullying campaign with the kid who was like bullying/abusing me at the time mostly bc i didnt want to be in a relationship with them and we got uh like pins n those bracelets etc n every time i see them i remember the bad things n it's just funny ahah myb i shld get rid of them
#it's one of the last? only things tht like triggers those memories#my head has forgotten it mostly#interacting w/ her affectionate does not really make me think of it either#but those stuff do#that was such a day lol sigh#i had made the 'abuser' a gift lmao ouch#then later when we got back to school god shit happened#i ran away n hid in the library oof it was sigh damn#yolo amirite#i wasnt blame free#well i mean idk tht's what she said#god why am i crying#i mean i nvr hit her or threw things at her or purposefully tried to manipulate her n emotionally abuse her#so at least i dont hv tht on my conscience#i said smth mean publicly as a retort n i felt so guilty after it i cried lmao#anytime i told her no not tht she listened but she wld get mad at me for it anyways#i wld go make up bc i was scared sigh#damn tht was fucking hell but we were 17 n things like tht happen when ur 17 n she wsnt malicious#she was just being hurt herself#she said tht bc i was new i wld just use them for what i needed#which even tho not my intention i guess held some truth based on my actions#but it was like tf u want me to do idek where the bathrooms in the school are or the rules n all tht shit#im not asking bc i want to use you for info im asking bc i need to kno n u 'befriended' me#sorry im socially awkward n struggle at making friends tht doesnt mean im using u lmao sigh#i genuinely hope she's ok tho n doing better sigh#cloud nonsense#ignore me
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as a gamer and someone who works professionally in theatre. Well comparing the two is absolutely fucking crazy. however if pressed i'd also choose video games. sorry.
#literally last year i fully almost just threw away my theatre degree to swap into doing game studies fully.#but alas. i obviously did not. and that is mostly bc my college doesnt have a game studies program. and it would have#been way too much work to try and go to a different one. And so i am now just getting a second theatre degree. crazy.#isaac anime posting hours
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ok. in case anyone was wondering. 2mg of prazosin coupled with 50mg of seroquil will actually mKe your PTSD nightmares roughly 5 times worse
#if i wake up crying ONE MORE TIME#if i dream about dying or going to the hospital or surgery or prison or war or dying dying dying i will lose my fucking mind#maybe have already lost it#this feels like precision crafted torture#last night i had to put on a performance and whoever i was with was fucking it up#and it was like. a life or death thing. if we fucked it we were toast#and this person FUCKED IT#the next stage was a cooking competition#i fucked that. at the end this bitchy blonde woman came out the bathroom and was like#i found these food containers in the trash. someone’s cheating#i threw those away and i was NOT cheating but was blamed and KILLED. OVER COOKING#THEN. i worked back at the retirement home i worked at when i was 19#but it was a like. government jail facility#and i had stolen a bunch of stuff and was sneaking out when the early early AM crew came in#and as i was slipping past them the FEAR of being caught and found out was so so so real#it was three women in housekeeping attire and i remember clearly thinking They’re Going To Find Me Out And Report Me I’m Fucked#THEN. i was kept against my will in my old elementary school but it was a hospital#there were some rooms that were like. opulent ballrooms#some were scary industrial cement floored backrooms type places#i was sitting in a line in front of the glass windows with maybe 10 other people#and we were all being interrogated. there was something medically and pressingly wrong with me#but everyone was ignoring me#we were there for hours and i kept sobbing sobbing please let us GO and they WOULDNT#none of these ever sound as terrifying as they actually are all types out like this#but rest assured. they are so so so vivid and real. every night i have flashes of lucidity#where i think This Is Real. I Am (Going To Die) Dying/Going To Prison/Irreperably FUCKED
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i don’t want to go........
#wahhhhh he was the saddest man alive and then they threw away four years of interesting and moving character work and for what#for him to become matt smith?#'time lord victorious' he was so interesting........ and they made him so one dimensional....... everyone was so bland... marvel dialogue#cheap jokes#not that there weren't cheap jokes before but... it's the 'in-universe' funny of it all. wah.#whatever. it wasn't all bad and i remember upon my last rewatch some... five years ago not hating 11 as much as i did when it was first#airing#i just cant help it if rose tyler is the most important person in the universe to me and we're just supposed to not care about her anymore#:(
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