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vanderwoodlings · 1 year

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ashes to embers:

Since her best friend Serena’s death, Blair has been pretty sure she’s hallucinating. But when she starts seeing Dan Humphrey, she realizes (through the power of asking more than a few awkward questions of his grieving loved ones) that it’s not just a trick of grief and brain chemistry—they’re actually haunting her. With the help of Dan’s best friend Vanessa and her hot mess of an ex-boyfriend Nate, Blair sets out to commit necromancy… and maybe form a polyamorous ghost relationship along the way.

- this is not an actual fic. you are just getting some silly little notes on this post i made because the actual fic is probably never happening

- so first of all i’m not just thinking about ghosts a lot lately; this and this mortal coil, the fic i wrote about derena meeting as ghosts, would be in the same au

- serena died in the equivalent to the shepherd wedding, dan (who had never met her/didn’t know who she was) died later, in the equivalent to their pre-series thankgiving meeting—tho he was saving blair there

- serena has a lot of Feelings revolving around her and dan’s deaths—once she finds out blair could hear/see her, she comes to the conclusion it’s her fault she froze out on the street, and starts to think it’s her fault dan is dead

- in between that, and untangling the canonical everything that went down at and after the shepherd wedding, dan spends a lot of time going “what the FUCK” at serena’s feelings

- nate’s hot mess levels are actually totally justified tbc and actually very close to blair’s, just presented differently and also she hates him at the moment. they’re both grieving with pretty much no support system

- jenny and eric, despite not getting their spots in that summary, do have places in this fic! as if i could leave them out—blair just wants to. eric has been struggling a lot, and she doesn’t want to give him false hope, while jenny is… early s1 jenny. the kind of person blair barely even thinks of noticing

- (there’s this sequence in my brain tho where eric skips taking his meds and serena tells blair and blair just. shows up for him. but she can’t just say that the invisible spirit of his sister was spying on him and he can’t really figure out why she’s there)

- vanessa is really only there because she figured out the whole ‘being haunted’ thing in an honestly sherlockian manner, and then humphrey started insisting—or that’s what blair would tell you, anyway

- while nate has to come to terms with his very intense and screwed up feelings about the past (and blairenate all have to reconcile with each other!), vanessa’s arc would be more about dealing with the utter weirdness of these people and with the fact that dan seems… way more down than she is, and so does jenny. she’s trapped by the present

- there’s a really interesting element to this that blair has to act as an intermediary between dan and vanessa and dan and jenny, and is pretty effectively forced into making friends with them because of it

- utterly delighted by the idea of dan just trying to talk to his sister while blair and jenny are in conflict. they’re glaring each other down and also trying to pretend they aren’t while blair repeats him exactly in a voice like ice. why is dan so charmed by this

- also ‘yes your sister’s ghost is in the room. so is the ghost who she started dating, what a weirdo’ and eric having to deal with that. how do you deal with that. is he nice?

- honestly derena’s early ghost dates would be the cutest shit. they can go anywhere at anytime and no one else knows to stop them. giggling as they change seats at the movie theater because people keep sitting in them. going into museums and doing whatever they want. trying and failing to play pool. deciding to play chess instead because you can just say your moves out loud, right? realizing that neither of them have good enough memories

- blair’s search history is just like ‘am i gay’ and ‘bisexual definition’ and ‘how to kiss ghosts’

- blair herself has this whole thing where she’s been having the worst time and also refusing to accept things as they are. she isn’t dealing with her grief or with still seeing serena or with the idea that maybe ghosts are meant to pass on. not when she is here and she can make the world get on its knees and beg

- so while nate’s not-dealing would, i think, be pretty easy to manage in its own way, blair’s is the driver of the entire fic and therefore can’t be

- and pretty much any of the other mains could call her on that, and ask her if she’s sure she’s meant to be doing this in a way that she would listen to—though the level and type of conflict resulting from that would vary depending on which one (typical blair-serena fight except one of them is intangible, anyone?)

- i’m not actually saying that derena remaining dead is the good ending here, tbc, i’m just saying blair has to deal with some feelings and like. have a conflict about it before they can actually come back

- and idk maybe it’s one of those ‘you just casually made me alive again once you stopped trying wow let’s make out about it’ type moments

- also blair and her girlfriend sabrina and her boyfriend dylan, who are definitely not living under assumed identities and don’t have any resemblance to certain publicly dead people what are you talking about

- constance is torn between ‘blair is paying professional impersonators’ and ‘blair has secretly become a member of the united states marshals despite being seventeen and both serena and that humphrey kid are in witness protection’

#serena van der woodsen #blair waldorf #dan humphrey #blair and dan #blair and serena #dan and serena #dairena #nate archibald #jenny humphrey #vanessa abrams #eric van der woodsen #original nonsense #this is a writing tag #this is an edit tag

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asharinhun · 2 years

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DWC Day 4 - Children

"Ann'da, could we speak with you?"

The question made Asharin look up from the table to his eldest daughter. Kiela was accompanied by Elyena, and the brief glance the pair shared made him furrow his brows slightly.

"Of course, just a moment." The archdruid stood and walked over to the couch where Serena was reading with Myleena and Aiteus leaning into her sides, the twins fast asleep. Their words were little more than murmurs, and he was on his way back after a quick kiss.

"Girls, is there something wrong?" Asha asked with concern as the trio reached the treeline of the nearby forest outside.

"I wouldn't say 'wrong', it's just..." Kiela started, but growled helplessly as words failed her to properly describe the feeling.

"We are restless. It's not unbearable, we can even put it out of our mind and ignore it for a time, but... it's like an itch we cannot scratch." Elyena added, she was always better with putting her emotions into words.

Asharin outright frowned, he didn't feel anything of the sort, but both of his elder daughters did, so he accepted it at face value.

"Do you have any ideas or guesses..." He started, but sensing the approach of another presence made him pause. It was familiar, and soon enough a figure crested the hill.

"Lyna! It's been a while, old friend." He greeted her warmly as the image of the average kaldorei woman shimmered, replaced by the preferred visage of Lynesera, the green dragon.

Kiela and Elyena said their own greetings, both taking notice of Lyna's peculiar expression when she looked at the pair. If their father picked upon it, he didn't show any reaction.

"Indeed. As much as I like your and your family's company, I still have my share of responsibility for keeping the Emerald Dream safe." The green dragon hugged him with a chuckle, but her expression grew serious. "The reason I actually came is to say goodbye, for now. The Dragon Isles are calling us home, and the dragonflights answered it. Most of them are already there. I know you still don't like spending time in there, so I thought relaying the news in person would be best."

Asharin's eyebrows shot up, but the audible gasps of his daughters were more important than his surprise.

"Can it... is it possible, that we feel that call as well?" Kiela finally asked, the sisters' gaze locked on Lyna.

The green dragon laughed. "Quite so. You know that your mother Alarastrasza was my best friend, of course her children would feel it. Moreso, if we are using mortal relationships, your grandmother is the Dragon Queen herself. I have no doubt."

"But... how would we even get there? We are not full dragons, we cannot simply fly over." Elyena voiced her own concerns. "Could you take us with you?"

Lynesera smiled, if a bit sadly. "I wish I could, but you know the state my wings are in, little ones. My clutchsister was kind enough to offer to bring me along, and is already waiting for my return. But there's another way." She paused, looking at Asharin for permission to continue.

Unease filled the archdruid, but he simply nodded.

"Nothing is easy, and the same goes for our return. A group of proto-dragons and their allies call themselves the Primalists, and they are stirring up trouble. I don't know all the details, but the Aspects already agreed to ask for the aid of the mortal races. One of the expeditions will set sail from Stormwind in... I think around two weeks' time. If you want to come, that is your best chance."

"I've heard of troubles regarding elementals at different locations, but the Circle didn't request my participation, so I didn't investigate further." Asha sighed before looking at his daughters. It was obvious they wanted to go, but deferred to his decision. The incident in Revendreth still echoed in their minds even if more than three years have passed since. He wanted to protect them, to know they were safe... but they were adults and could decide on their own.

"Kiela, Elyena, you are grown-ups, it's time you make these choices for yourselves, I won't stand in your way... though I dare to bet I know the outcome." Asharin smiled, opening his arms as Kiela and Elyena tackled him with cries of joy. "I take it you're going." He chuckled, cupping their cheeks before facing his friend. "Lyna, can I ask you to help these two troublemakers out a little after they arrive?"

The green dragon laughed again with a nod. "I would have done that even if you didn't ask, but I truly have to go now. Safe travels, and we shall meet again on the Dragon Isles." She inclined her head to the family before returning the way she came.

"Ann'da, thank you!" Kiela and Elyena muttered and held him tight.

"Now, now... You two better go and start your preparations for the trip. Just don't forget, no sneaking out without saying goodbyes. You don't want to upset the twins, do you?" He teased, laughing at their mortified faces.

"And even when you're there, never forget that we're just a letter away... and who knows, I might join you briefly at a later date."

Looking at their excited expressions, Asharin couldn't help smiling. Even if they were adults, they were still his children... but everyone had their own path. Supporting them was the least he could do.

"I'm proud of you both... and I'm sure your mother would feel the same."

Kiela and Elyena teared up at that, sharing another hug.

@daily-writing-challenge

#novemberdwc2022 #novemberday42022 #Kiela #Elyena #Asharin #Lynesera #Kielastrasza #Elyenastrasza

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meistoshi · 1 year

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so, it’s an understatement to say satoshi’s had a few people express romantic interest in him ; he’s kind & brave & protective without treating people like glass & he’s amazing with pokémon & in battle, & his looks aren’t shabby either — he’s kinda hard not to get a crush on. but most times he’s been entirely oblivious purely because said interest has been expressed vaguely, through insinuation, rather than outright ; hell, he had no idea how serena felt about him until she straight-up just kissed him, & she’s hardly the most subtle of people. which brings this (re)post to the topic of satoshi’s own “crushes”, present & plural.

the thing is, his feelings develop very slowly, he doesn’t catch them at first sight & there's no moment that can be pinpointed as going from regular affection to romantic love ; it's small things piling up over time, usually months at the least, not recognized but realized, less developing a crush, more actually falling in love ( not to say he's never had fleeting infatuations, but those have all been the star-struck & dazed kind that've passed that same week if not day ) . the first person he realized he had any kinds of feelings for was kasumi, & just as they were about to part ways after johto. just a moment of “oh. i don’t actually wanna say goodbye. oh. i actually really don’t want to say goodbye, i want to spend as much time with her as possible, uh oh.”.

the second was shigeru, some time during his travels in sinnoh, but it was odd, because he’d already figured out he had a "crush" on kasumi & he knew those feelings hadn’t changed, but he’d never heard anyone talk about having more than one crush at a time, & everything he’d ever heard about romance was in terms of pairs, two halves, one & one. the feelings fit, but it didn’t fit with what he’d seen from others. even the very few love triangle stories he'd heard about or seen always ended in a two-person relationship. it took a very carefully timed question to takeshi about his own romantic ventures ( it helped that satoshi was actually genuinely baffled about how takeshi kept jumping from one crush to another ) , to understand that yeah, sometimes people had enough love in them to have feelings for more than one person at a time, that was a thing & entirely normal. thanks to this, when it came time for him to part with the friends he’d made in kalos & serena had already left for hoenn &, in an evident tradition of having just the worst timing with these things, satoshi realized he’d developed feelings for both citron & serena, he was able to accept that quickly & without second-guessing himself.

he didn’t really kick himself for realizing it “too late” in serena’s case since she was the only person he knew for certain reciprocated the feelings, because he’s kind of understood for a while that he travels too much to consistently keep in touch with people he’s not actively traveling with, or at least in the same region as, so, even if he tried pursuing something there, he just wouldn’t be able to keep up the relationship, not even mentioning his workaholic focus on battling ( even if he’d never call it quite that ) . that’s also the reason he hasn’t tried to pursue anything with his other crushes either, regardless of if he thinks they might reciprocate or not ; he’s just not stable enough to maintain relations outside friendship ( he just barely maintains acquaintanceships ) , at least not in a way he feels the other people would deserve, not in the way he’d like to. & that's without even getting into thought of all the talk that could go into trying to arrange the possible polycule because he hasnt thought nearly that far ; he's stopped squarely at welp i love all these people & there's nothing i can do about it, guess i'll just sit here & pine & yearn about it. his heart does weird things around all of them but so does it when thinking of the open road so he's just sorta. sat. or, well, y'know. on the move.

#uweeh #slaps the top of satoshi's head <- this man can fit so much love & wanderlust in him which unfortunately sometimes clash #ooc. pkmn is autistic culture.#study.

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houndsofcorduff · 2 years

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Why send just one random song when I can send five? 'Motherland' - REACH, 'Achilles, Come Down' - Gang of Youths, 'Lullaby of Woe' - Ashley Serena, 'It Could Have Been Me' - The Struts, and 'Ship in a Bottle' - Fin

Okay sorry this took me so long to answer but I wanted to spend enough time with each song to really get into it. Thank you so much for all your recommendations! I enjoyed them all!

*Disclaimer: I don't know the actual meaning of the lyrics to these songs for the most part so I'm mostly making it up as I go, I don't mean any disrespect to the artists if I misinterpret their intentions!*

Motherland - This one I would say best goes along with a character I haven't talked about much, Esham. He is the leader of the (so-called) terrorist group, Cumhacht. He rejects all nationalism and is dedicated to exposing the evils of the world governments as well as revealing the truths those governments are hiding from their own people. His path to achieving these goals may be questionable, however. I feel like this song fits him because he would completely reject the idea of a motherland and yet he is very much creating his own.

Achilles Come Down - Okay so I will preface this with I understand that the original lyrics are about something very different from what I'm about to say, but just go with me. So this reminds me of almost a conversation between Bo and Hayes. More accurately, Bo pleading with Hayes to leave Cumhacht and come home, trying to reverse what he sees as Cumhacht brainwashing. "Where you go I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping, since there's no me without you" is 100 percent something Bo would say word for word to Hayes. Additionally "You crave the applause, yet hate the attention, then miss it" is also 100 percent something Hayes would think to himself.

Lullabye of Woe - Firstly, the first word is "wolves" which is perfect for this because the apprentices are seen as "hounds" or "wolves" so a lot of my playlist songs have wolf imagery. This one was probably the toughest overall, but I eventually settled on Awen. She would be the one awake, anxious and wide awake, but not because she's afraid of any creatures. As for the villain of the song, I'm not sure, perhaps someone from one of her past lives? Or something more abstract?

It Could Have Been Me - I know this song! It wasn't in my playlist for this wip (for some reason) but it's in some other playlist. This one is for both Bo and Drumcondra. Both are about living life to the fullest, they don't want to miss out on anything. Drumcondra because he knows what the world is like and all it has to offer and loves it, while Bo had no idea what the world holds and he's keen to discover all of it.

Ship in a Bottle - I know this one too! Actually, this one is on the playlist my husband plays for road trips! This is another one that well describes Corduff, kind of like the one I listened to previously (Wild One), it describes how trapped Corduff is within himself. He compartmentalizes his thoughts and feelings, just as the song describes because that's what makes him a Good Boy TM. He pushes away his feelings and thoughts which might cause conflict or make others see him as less than 100 percent at all times. Other people get to have outbursts, other people get to feel hurt, and other people get to think something is wrong with his country. But not him. This takes a toll on him throughout Book One: Stray. Additional fact, this tendency also is what ended his one serious relationship with someone he is still very much in love with.

Once again thank you for the suggestions and the opportunity to branch out in my music taste!

#asks #wip playlist #wip: hounds of corduff #wip: stray #oc: corduff #oc: hayes #oc: boru #oc: drumcondra #my ocs #my writing #this has been so much fun

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alolanrain · 3 years

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how old is ash on yours au’s?

It really really depends and I’m finding out that I’m absolutely horrible at actually giving out somewhat concrete ages, barring a few Au’s.

Unspokenly Ash is usually around late 20 to very early 22, unless I did write down and post an age for him in what ever Au has it, but thats also more drabble and fillet based. That is… basically my standard and I really need to vocalize that more from the content that I do write him as younger.

Basically how it goes is that with each region he ages up a year. Spending his birthday at home with his mom and the Oak’s that are present at the time before going off on another adventure. This gets kind of tricky around Sinnoh because Ash stay’s there to take on The Brain. I have that written down that it takes 3 month’s to even half a year. Which then put’s off the ‘sharing the birthday with mom and oak’ thing. This lands his birthday in the middle of his current journey at the time or a bit later like right before the league or a month before, if that makes sense. So in the end he comes home obviously older. Though I have been messing around and making the time in Orange Isles shorter to around 9 months instead of a full year.

Like here’s a time table and I’ll keep both set’s of ages if I do mess around with Orange Isles time line and add it as concrete. It gets really complicated so if you want a little more explanation please don’t be afraid to ask. I am also keeping the Brain Arc to half a year.

Starting age to finishing age *0/12 means how many months he is instead of a full year.

Kanto: 10 to 11

Orange Isles: 11 to 12 or 11 to 11 + 9/12

Johto: 12 to 13 or 11 + 9/12 to 12 + 9/12

Hoenn: 13 to 14 or 12 + 9/12 to 13 + 9/12

Sinnoh: 14 to 15 or 13 + 9/12 to 14 + 9/12

+ battling the Brain: 15 to 15 + 6/12 or 14 + 9/12 to 15 + 3/12

Unova: 15 + 6/12 to 16 + 6/12 or 15 + 3/12 to 16 + 3/12

Kalos: 16 + 6/12 to 17 + 6/12 or 16 + 3/12 to 17 + 3/12

Alola: 17 + 6/12 to 18 + 6/12 or 17 + 3/12 to 18 + 3/12

Galar: 18 + 6/12 to 19 + 6/12 or 18 + 3/12 to 19 + 3/12

I just want to say that typing all this out looks like one hell of a long ass math equation, kinda hate it and might change it later. But this is my completely basic format of what I use. Of course there’s a lot of wiggle room as I write Ash starting around 20 to 21 in Alola and Galar. He’s obviously going to probably spend more the one complete year in a region and less then another. The end of the league doesn’t dictate when he stays and leaves. Theres also the months that build up between each “arc”, another word I use to refer to his journeys, and to account the HC that some leagues start off at wildly different times then others.

It’s literally just a pick-and-pull basket and just a large general target where Ash would be ages wise. As you see in the end the two different age lists end up being only 3 months part from each other. It really doesn’t matter and I’m mostly just playing around with it. Another note thats… vital isn’t the correct word but I’m use it is that I don’t take Cerise Laboratory and the research assistant job into account. This is based off if Ash travels Galar to his normal standard with every other arc but Alola but I did keep the characters.

You didn’t ask for this but I want to add in other traveling buddies and side rivals ages and how they are compared to Ash as well. Usually Ash is the youngest if not one of them up until Hoenn. With the exception of being exactly 24 hours older then Ritchie. And all of this have way to much detail but its making my ADHD brain go brrrr happily.

He’s older than May, surprisingly, by like a month and a half but he doesn’t realize that and mentally clocks that he’s younger than her because of how responsible and adult like she acts a good chunk of the time. Max is obviously the youngest while Brock is the oldest. The same thing kinda happens in Sinnoh. He’s older then Dawn by a good year and a half to maybe even two years. Though Ash is younger then Paul and Barry by a varying few months between each boy.

Unova is where it changes a lot. Going from one of the youngest to one of the oldest out of his group of friends. Iris is drastically 3 years younger then Ash, making her around 12 at the start of the arc and somewhere around 13 at the end, and around 3 and a half with Cilan. This causes her to constantly pick against Ash because to her he’s older. Ash should be acting more like a seasonal trainer with known responsibilities and shouldn’t be so excited about everything. That’s also an expectation that was subconsciously taught to her by Drayden when she was still in School in the Dragon Village. Virgil is actually the oldest being freshly turned 18 years old while Cameron is the youngest at 11 and 5 months. Stephan is like the closest to Ash’s actually age but also acts a lot more older and more adult like then he really is just by his laid back attitude. Bianca actually just turned 18 before starting her journey.

Age Note: the reason why Cilan is weird and awkward around Burgundy is not because of her short temper and brash attitude but because Burgundy just turned 13 years old. She is a legitimate child just like Iris, compared to Cilan’s 16 years and 6 months when the meet on the road for the first time and not at a connoisseur event. Her deep infatuation and how young she is really puts Cilan in a active land mine field. Unlike Iris who listens to him and actually talks, he has no clue how to interact with her. Burgundy isn’t a normal gym challenger coming to his and his brother gym for a badge or even a normal crazed simple fan. As a gentleman at heart as well he raised to talk between certain age limits close to his own and this ends up making Cilan see Burgundy actually younger then she really is. Kind of like how Iris clocked Ash as a ‘kid’ when he’s obviously older then her and more experienced.

Kalos then thrusts Ash or being the oldest out of the main group but not as a whole. Bonnies around 8 while Clemont is 2 months and a half younger then Ash. This is where I struggle a lot in placing peoples based age in Kalos is actually because of Serena. I don’t want to make her too young to which the point it’s weird and also I based the other contest girls age’s around hers. But I also don’t want to make her too old to the point that Miette, the oldest out of the contest girls no matter what, is older then Ash. The general consensus is that Miette is right in with Clemont and Ash age wise while Nini is the youngest out of the trio. So that places Serena around 13 to 14 while Nini is like 12 and 7 months. Sawyer is obviously just turned 10 while Trevor, Tierno, and Shauna are between 12 and a half to 13 and a half years old. Giving that easy bonding connection with Serena and Shauna while giving Miette a older more experienced vibe and the childlike wonder to Nini. You’d think with Alain and all Ash would be the second oldest but your wrong. Ash is exactly 1 whole week older then Alain but, much like May, he doesn’t know that and mentally clocks Alain older then he really is.

In comes Alola and this is again where I usually bump Ash up to 20 to 21 but for the sake of everything I’m going off the basic target. Ash is obviously the oldest of the class by a good year on them alone though the classes collective smarts pushed them up different grades in school so thats how their together. Kiawe was the oldest at 16 and 9 months while Sophocles is still the youngest at 12 and 3 months, again bringing in the fact that the class is super smart and its based off intelligence instead of age like with every other class. Mallow is the third oldest at 16 and 2 months with Lana following on by at 16 and 1 month. Lillie is specifically around 15 years to 13 years and 4 months based off if I want her to suffer more as a older teen or as a child, literally her age is based off if I want to traumatize her more or not. Hapu is around 12 to 13 years old despite her obvious size and squeaky-ish voice. Acerola despite being very very mature for her age is only 17 years and 4 months old. Horacio is about Ash’s age at an even 17 years old when he and his lackies first meet Ash, Sophocles, and Kiawe.

Age Note: Horacio absolutely used his age as a card against Sophocles as many times as he could to the point it was so overused. This made Ash especially angry because he hated it when people used their age against much younger kids. Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re right.

Then we reach Galar as our final stop. Ash is once more the oldest out of him, Chloe, and Goh but not everyone else. That would be Hodge at a straight 19 years old when he first meets Ash and Goh at the Battle Frontier Flute Cup. Chloe comes at 14 and a half years old with Goh just freshly turning 14. This makes Ash’s relationship more of a mentor type distant older brother thing. Those two actually don’t find out about Ash’s age up until he and Goh get their letter so of recommendation and have to fill out the normal personal stuff. If you think Hop is close by in age with Ash then you’re wrong again. He’s actually two days younger then Chloe making Hop around 14 and a half years old as well. Marine is 13 years and 9 months old. Bede is much more closer to Ash then the others at 16 years 8 months. For Leon, Raihan, and Sonia their still very much the same in a way. Leon is still the youngest at 20 years while Raihan is the oldest at 23, leaving Sonia in the middle at 21 and a half years old.

Age note… once more: this fits perfectly for the Kanto and Galar Trios as they basically get opposite of themselves in a way. Goh who’s very oriented, loud, and on the go gets paired with marine who’s very quite and shy for the most part and their going to subconsciously teach each other that its okay to come out of your shell or its okay to take a moment and relax. Hop is very much like Ash and Goh combined with the strategies and the none stop puppy own straight crack like energy and he declares himself as Chloe’s, who’s silent and very critical and almost broody like it’s not quite there but it’s close enough, rival and is trying to teach her that battling is fun and okay and a lot of Pokemon like battling for those reason. Ash and Bede are the obvious choice for each other because once again Ash is very bright, happy-go-lucky, just sweet in general to everyone while Bede is completely broody, extremely sour, and just utterly rolling in his own image and being way to cocky.

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serenasoutherlyns · 3 years

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Not a Summer Crush Part Four

a/n: this is a long one! enjoy. this chapter features coffee, colds, cuteness, serena southerlyn, schemes, saturdays. all feedback makes me LOVE you, so please please reblog, reply, like, anything! you can always find this on ao3 as well. happy evening, and part five coming at you soon!

Part Four

"Haley," Anderson stopped you in the kitchen the next day. He was reaching into the fridge to get one of the terrible salads he always ate and you were rinsing out your French press (you figured, there were plenty of coffee shops nearby but a) you didn't need to be spending your money like that and b) the way the grounds fell as you pushed them slowly to the bottom had more than once brought you moments of enlightenment). You didn't stop to listen initially but he continued. "Haley," he said, "how do you do," he paused, gestured to your whole body, "that."

You looked at him, blinked, expecting him to clarify, but he did not. You laughed at him, gently, appropriately. "I don't know, Anderson, I was born 27 years ago," he winced, "I did some things, I'll do some more things, in fact, I spend most of my time doing," you gestured to yourself, "this."

He opened his mouth a few times, trying to think of what he meant, but said, "I mean, you work sex crimes, and you're so,"

"Exuberant?" You said.

"I was going to say bubbly."

"Hm."

"Forget I said anything."

"No," you said, taking pity on the guy. "It's ok," you patted his shoulder, "You learn to deal with it, right? I mean, I think I am."

“How do you keep it from getting to you?” His question made you laugh, then your face fell, something serious behind your eyes.

“It gets to me. I’m so sad all the time. But if I always acted how I felt, I don’t think I could do it.”

"Right," he said, not quite convinced. "Look I've been with homicide for five months and I still don't think I'm there yet."

"Give up or give it more time then," you said to him with a raise of your newly cleaned French press and a shrug. As you walked back to your office (you had banned him from having meals in there in your first week on the job) he watched the way you occasionally raised yourself up on your toes, in awe at your apparent ability to stay sunny.

Someone else noticed your little rise and lower. Alex Cabot had, today, decided to leave the blinds to her office door open. It was so she could catch moments just like this one, you bopping along in the hallway with your coffee maker, somewhere between walking and dancing.

Fuck, she thought, not even bothering to stop the grin, that's so cute.

Alex had talked to Casey. Well, Casey brought it up, actually, but Alex would have.

---

"So, I talked to Rita," Casey'd said almost before she shut the door behind her.

"Good evening to you, too, baby," Alex said, greeting her in the entranceway, kissing her sweetly. Casey smiled into it. Casey broke the kiss and walked towards their living room, her body aching for a comfortable seat. Alex walked behind her, pinching her (lovely perfect gorgeous) ass, causing her wife to yelp in the silly way she reserved for Alex alone. Casey always flopped onto the couch, which had originally annoyed Alex. She'd once insisted Alex try it, and while she did not move to change her habits, she admitted to seeing the appeal.

Alex, having followed Casey to the couch, bypassed the ample seating and chose the same side as her wife, who was sitting against the arm rather than the back, providing a perfect avenue for Alex to make her way up her body, continuing what she'd started. When Casey moaned, Alex got up and walked to the kitchen, ignoring Casey's whines. Alex picked up the plates where she'd put dinner (ok, it was carryout, but still, plates!) and joined Casey, another habit that was Casey's first, this one she was happy to go along with.

Casey and Alex sat on the floor, playing quiet music and making their usual conversation, routine and comforting.

"So, you talked to Rita?"

"Mm, mmhmm," Casey said, Alex having caught her mid-asparagus-bite. They laughed. "Yeah, I talked to Rita. She almost broke my door down to ask if I was sleeping with Caroline.”

Alex paled, “I was just talking to Serena about the same thing.”A panicked look flashed across Casey’s eyes. “Oh god, no, I don’t think you’re cheating on me. I mean, I went to Serena’s to be all emotional about Caroline.”

“I nearly cried.”

“In front of Rita Calhoun? And she didn’t melt?”

Casey scoffed, “She’s made me cry so many times.”

“I try to forget that fact,” Alex said.

“Fair enough. Anyway, apparently, her prowess in deductive reasoning led her to believe that I was having an affair.”

“A one-sided affair, that’s new.”

“Two-sided, unless both of us are only one side.”

“Two-sided implies there’s something there.”

“Isn’t there?”

“Isn’t that it.”

“Yeah.”

They both picked at their salads, wondering why Alex had bought salad. Casey looked up at the ceiling, Alex looked down, fiddled with the rug. Alex skipped a couple songs on her phone.

“Casey, what are we going to do about this. I don’t, I mean, I think, um.”

“I don’t know. I guess, our options are, pursue what we want or don’t and get over it.”

“If you put it that way,” Alex said, pausing, “I think we need to know what we want.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you. I want us both to be really happy, and I want her.”

Casey took a sip of her wine, agreeing with her fingertips, taking Alex’s hand. “You said what I was thinking.”

“What do you want, though? Serena said this thing about me being upset over a threesome we haven’t had and I kind of thought like, I don’t think I just want sex, um. I don’t know if that’s how you feel.”

“I do feel that way, actually, Lex.”

Casey held their hands up to her cheek, kissed Alex’s.

“So we’re pursuing that?”

“So we’re pursuing that.”

“What if,” Alex started. Casey responded with a shrug, and Alex thoughtfully nodded.

---

So, they were pursuing it. What that was going to mean was unclear as of the moment Alex saw you being very cute in the hallway, but they’d agreed that they wanted some kind of relationship, romantic, sexual. They wouldn’t want it if you only wanted one of them, they wouldn’t want just sex. It all would work out, Alex hoped. Casey was more confident than she was, but Alex had more of a cautious spirit when it came to relationships. They were well balanced. Alex hoped (and hoped and hoped) that you would want them. She gave herself a few more moments to smile, then turned back to her work.

Despite Anderson’s impressions and what Alex saw, you were not, in fact, feeling good. It was the middle of summer, but you couldn’t get warm. It’s just a cold, you thought, as you held your hands against the warmth of the coffee. Your cases were getting overwhelming, and you couldn’t afford to take any time off right now, not even to be sick in bed. Getting sick in the summer was exactly your luck.

A knock on your door startled you. You quickly collected your composure, turned on your peppy demeanor (you told the truth to Anderson: you learned how to seem OK a long time ago).

“Hey,” Casey said. “Are you in court at all today?”

You shook your head. “No, just paperwork, research. Why?”

Casey shrugged. “Thought you might want to have lunch or something.”

“I ate already,” you lied. You just didn’t want to request a place that served chicken soup. Your appetite had disappeared. “Sorry,” you said with an apologetic smile. “You want some coffee?” you asked, gesturing to the full pot.

“Sure, actually. The setup is a smart idea.”

“Isn’t it?” you said, getting up to pour two cups. “My apologies for the lack of sugar and cream.”

“Ah, it’s ok.” Casey said, accepting the cup and sitting down across from you in the extra chair. “No honey?”

“Alex told you,” You said, smiling, and Casey nodded. “It’s more of a special occasion thing.”

You watched her blow on the drink, her lips pursed over the top of it. They were a lovely shade of pink, you decided. She stuck her tongue out a bit when she took a sip, like a butterfly and its proboscis, you thought. You promptly scolded yourself for thinking that sort of thing at work. You had been considering Ramin’s advice, to “use your feminine wiles” on Casey and Alex, make them want you so bad that they believed it was their idea. It was sneaky and exciting. You’d resolved to start doing tiny, almost unnoticeable things around them (however convincing they could be when congested). Before you sat, you brushed your hand along your hip; as you held your mug, you ran your fingers along the handle.

“How’s your day going?” you asked her, knowing she’d had lots of tough cases recently. SVU had brought you on as a junior ADA because with the rising awareness of sexually-based crimes (a good inconvenience), the caseloads had risen to an all-time height, even after they brought Gillian back in to cover some cases. They were both very relieved that the gamble the office had taken in hiring a young person, whose experience had mostly been in property crimes, had worked out. It stood to reason, Casey had pushed for a younger lawyer, knowing first hand how much of a strength that could be; and when Alex had seen two Stanford degrees on your C.V., she felt sure too. You’d been a good choice. Still, you were all four overextended.

“Eh, it’s been fine, all things considered,” Casey replied. She watched as you fiddled with the tips of your hair. You’d begun wearing it curly more often, which had proven to be somewhat distracting for her. “How good can any day be in this line of work.”

You agreed with a nod. “I was just talking to Anderson about that.”

“What did he have to say?” Casey asked, knowing the attorney’s propensity for putting his foot in his mouth.

“I feel for the guy. I think he’s having trouble in homicide. He called me bubbly.”

“You are bubbly.”

“I’m energetic.”

“He should transfer to white collar. He’s got the attitude for it.”

You squinted your eyes scoldingly. “You would know.”

“I would.” The two of you broke into much-needed laughter. You were about halfway through your cup, but wished you were at the beginning again. “Was it hard?” you asked, “moving from white collar to sex crimes? I mean, just the level of emotional complication required, it must be so different from all that, detail.”

“It’s the hardest thing I think I’ll ever do in my professional life, yes.” Casey always looked you right in the eye, it was intense, the way she never averted her gaze. You tended to shift your gaze around rooms, taking in details, never resting on anything for too long. People sometimes wondered if you were paying attention, and explaining that looking them in the eye made it harder to listen didn’t work. Casey never cared, or at the very least never brought it up, just let you be the way you were. She set her coffee cup down. “I cried in my office my first day, in front of Olivia. I practically begged Arthur Branch to reassign me. I had wanted homicide, major cases. You know, all the glory less of the gore.”

“Have you ever regretted it since?”

“Never long enough to think about leaving. Voluntarily, that is,” she stated with a smile, referencing her suspension. You didn’t know all that much about what had happened, and you let her talk with a warm and open demeanor. “In all honesty, I needed that suspension to rewire my brain, I was drowning. And it didn’t last as long as I thought it would. That’s actually when I got together with Alex,” she said, smiling again, wider this time. “In a stupid hipster bar. She had brown hair at the time, I almost didn’t recognize her.”

“Please tell me you have pictures of brunette Alex Cabot.”

“Oh, I do, but they’re all buried deep in different camera rolls…” she trailed off in memories, “I’ll find them for you when I need to embarrass her. I, for one, liked the brown, but she can be very self-conscious.”

“You wouldn’t guess that when you meet her.”

“No, you really wouldn’t. But, Caroline,” Casey said, and hearing your name out of her mouth never failed to give you butterflies, “truly, I don’t think ‘like’ is an appropriate word for what I, what we do, but I feel called to it.”

“I think I do too.”

“Retention rates in this field are low. You’ve already outlasted them. I think that’s proof enough.”

You finished your coffee and brought your mug to the little table where you kept it. How you had such a messy desk but such a tidy coffee space evaded Casey, and probably told her more about you than you’d like. Alex walked by your office coming back from a meeting, pleased to see you and Casey conversing in the junior office. Casey finished her coffee shortly after you did. She met Alex in the hallway.

---

“Counselor, do you need a tissue?” Judge Catano said to you in an irritated tone in chambers the next day, apparently after one sniffle too many.

“Or a nap,” John Buchanan added under his breath as you pulled a nearly empty packet out of your suit pocket and wiped your nose.

“Thank you for your concern, I assure you both that I am quite alright.”

---

“Go home, get some sleep. Your cases will be there in the morning.” Alex said the evening after that, passing by the open door to your office on her way out.

“I won’t stay long,” you replied, knowing full-well that you would.

---

The day after that, Anderson got in your way at the wrong time and found himself unfortunately sneezed on.

---

You made it to Friday, and despite what you were telling yourself, you kept getting sicker. Every day was like time couldn’t decide between speeding and slowing down. Sometimes, you’d look up from what felt like ten minutes of work and an hour had passed, sometimes a meeting that felt like an hour was only ten minutes. And you still had work to do. Casey tapped on the door, unsurprised, again, to find you were the only one there. Anderson had left about a half hour ago, the other juniors often left right at 5:00.

“Hey,” she called from the doorway.

“Yeah?” You replied, looking at her over the top of your laptop.

“Come work in my office?” She asked. You’d taken to working with her or Alex or both of them in the evenings, with the general idea that many heads make light work. Or something. Really, for you, it was just a good excuse to spend time together.

“Sure,” you replied, “meet you there.” She walked off as you packed up your things. You were a bit woozy as you stood up from your desk. Oh well, that was how it went. You made yourself comfortable in Casey’s office (Alex, she explained, was off picking up some documents at the precinct).

You shivered in your seat on the couch, you blew your nose Casey eyed you, having noticed how you’d been sniffling all week. “Allergies? I have some Zyrtec somewhere in this desk,” she said, opening her drawer up to look.

“Oh, no, I’m not allergic to anything, I just didn’t,” sniff, “sleep well last night.”

This was an attitude Casey knew well.

---

Alex always liked summer evenings in the city. Yes, the smell required some getting used to, it could get noisy and crowded, but something about the way the orange light (that lasted longer than any other time of year) played off the tall buildings, the metal vendors on the sidewalk-- it just got to her, made her enjoy the walks she took from place to place. She checked her notifications on the way back from the precinct.

Casey: Caroline is sitting in my office sniffling and looking pale.

Alex: “Allergies?”

Casey: She denies them.

Alex: So the cold she’s had all week caught up to her?

Casey: Can you pick up some meds and we can make her go home?

Alex: I mean, good luck to us…

Casey: Alex.

Alex sighed and crossed the street, ducking into a Duane Reed for the requisite illness package. convincing you to take advantage of it was going to be a wholly different task.

When she arrived back at the office, she discovered a different scene than she expected. As she reached Casey’s office door with the supplies, her wife caught her eye through the window, motioning at her to be quiet when she came in. Alex was, and saw you, on Casey’s couch, deeply asleep with your fingers still on your laptop keyboard, typing endless spaces in a Word document.

“Well,” Alex whispered, coming to Casey’s side, leaning against her desk. “That’s certainly adorable.”

“I couldn’t bring myself to wake her up,” Casey said, “poor thing.” Alex looked at you, your curls flipped up over your forehead, your pink cheeks, your pile of work beside you. A warm sense of nostalgia lit up inside her.

“Remember, when we first came back to the DA’s office,” Alex said, seeing Casey smile playfully, the same feelings building in her chest.

“And there was a horrible bug going around the office,” Casey continued, telling the story for her wife.

“And I refused to admit I’d gotten it,”

“And I found you asleep, with your head on a legal pad,” Casey squeezed Alex’s hand.

“Because I was late to a meeting,” Alex tucked a strand of hair behind Casey’s ear.

“And when you lifted your head up, your forehead was covered in ink,” Casey finished the story with a grin, teasing her wife. “Yeah, I remember that. And I remember trying and failing to get you home, and I remember you getting me sick.”

“Only because you couldn’t keep yourself from kissing me,” Alex said. Casey just shrugged, acknowledging that her wife was correct. They had no need to say what they both were thinking, and, in fact, no time.

You stirred, stretching out, very sleepily. They snapped out of their reverie. “Hey, you two,” you said, your voice nasal. “You guys are so cute,” you continued, still not quite awake, you said what was on your mind. You felt a bit voyeuristic, but you didn’t mind. “Sorry for eavesdropping,” you said, waking up more fully, “sorry I fell asleep, Casey,” you said. You started to pull the notes you were looking at back up to your lap, but as you picked them up, you noticed someone else was holding the other end. Alex had a grip on them, and you were too weak to resist as she picked up all your papers and put them back in your bag.

“Laptop,” she said, holding out her hand. You gave it to her, looking to the side, embarrassed. She held out a packet containing two pills. “Take these,” she said, giving you a bottle of water as well. You wanted to protest, tell her that you were perfectly capable of getting what you had left done, but as you looked at her, then across the room to Casey, you realized that not only would any attempt be futile, you wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in your bed and stay there until you didn’t feel like this anymore. You nodded.

Casey’s voice came from behind Alex, gentle. Still raspy, but more than quiet, sympathetic, understanding-- gentle, a tone meant to be heard from close by and listened to in earnest. “Please take care of yourself.”

Who could refuse that?

---

Alex accompanied you on the cab ride home. Casey genuinely had work she had to finish, and neither of them was about to let you ride your bike or take the subway in your state. You lived in Brooklyn, but close enough to the courthouse that you didn’t feel too guilty about accepting her help when she offered. You tried to make conversation, but you were simply too tired to talk much, and as the sun finished setting, you arrived at the townhouse. Ashley and Ramin lived in the three bedroom unit on the first floor while you lived in the one bedroom unit on the second. It was really a glorified studio, the bedroom was just big enough for a queen-sized bed, the living room barely fit a couch, and the kitchen was mostly good for making tea; but that was why you had a key to your best friends’ apartment. You hesitated on the steps in the still warm air, considering if it would be a bad idea to ask Alex to come up the rest of the way with you, but she had clearly already made up her mind to do so (she had not bought all those supplies for nothing).

Your apartment was cozy, Alex thought as she placed the medicines and magazines and bottles of Gatorade in convenient spots in your tiny kitchen. You went straight for the bathroom, using what energy you had to change into pajamas, brush your teeth, and wash your face. Not much food in the fridge, lots of coffee and tea. A little table covered in papers and books; some law journals, some fantasy novels, some picture books. There were stuffed animals in a bin beside the couch, a couple clearly old enough to be yours. You had one of the fluffiest rugs she’d ever seen and enough throw pillows to drown in, and candles all over the place. Your walls were covered in art; some clearly original abstract pieces signed R.R, some prints from the MoMA, old post cards and family photos (only a couple of your siblings, but countless of Ashley and his family, dancers too), and kids’ drawings, all displayed together, given equal weight. It made no sense aesthetically, technically, but everything about the place screamed Caroline, so she found herself enamored with it.

You emerged from the bathroom with your hair tied on top of your head, wearing an oversized tee and fuzzy pants. It wasn’t your usual choice, but being sick had you feeling like everything around you needed to be soft and cuddly. Alex showed you where she placed everything she’d bought for you, but as she talked, your (maybe feverish) focus could only follow her beautiful blue eyes as they followed your own. You felt warmth, gratitude; you watched her seem concerned and adoring all at once. This whole scenario; Alex in your apartment while the stars were out, taking care of you, seeing you in your pajamas, sniffling and blushing, it made no sense when you thought about it. Yet, it seemed perfectly natural to you, having her in your place. Part of you wanted to kiss her then and there, pull her into your bed and try to get her to cuddle, but, of course, those were not thoughts you shared out loud. Instead, you expressed your gratitude as emphatically as your could manage.

“Get some sleep, Caroline.”

“I will. Alex, thank you.”

---

Alex made you take the following Monday and Tuesday off. Since she didn’t technically have that ability, you responded to her texts by telling her as much. Then, she got Jack McCoy to email you the same sentiments, and that, you couldn’t fight. You arrived at work on Wednesday refreshed, well-rested, and decidedly not sniffly, and she was only a little bit smug. She all but said “I told you so” when you said hello that morning-- but you very quickly shut her up by giving her a smile and an eye roll, taking pride and pleasure in the tiny bite of her lip you saw flash by as you returned to your desk.

That afternoon, you were happy to run into Serena Southerlyn on the courthouse steps, her leaving as you and Alex were returning (there was a case you were working together, you as second chair). She greeted Alex with a professional hug, you with a warm handshake. She had a glint in her eyes, something mischievous about her when she asked, after the usual workplace pleasantries, “you’ll both be there tomorrow, right? For drinks? Gillian said she had something to celebrate, I bet she got accepted to one of those PhD programs.”

“Casey and I will be,” Alex said, looking to you. You tucked a curl behind your ear, another habit of yours she’d noticed, when you were worried.

“I’ll certainly try,” you said, happy that you were now getting regular invitations to drinks, “I promised I’d help Ophélie’s mock trial team prepare for this weekend, she gets pretty nervous about them.”

“They have mock trial that young?” Serena asked.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cute too. A bunch of 12-year-olds in suits using legal language.” As you spoke, Alex understood a little better, Casey’s perspective on children. She chuckled lightly.

“Is she the prosecution or the defense?” asked Alex. You groaned in response.

“Don’t remind me. She chose defense specifically to spite me, and now I go to her school twice a month to teach her how to do it.”

“I think I like this kid,” Serena said. “But I really hope you can make it tomorrow.”

“I’ll do what I can,” you said, knowing you would likely be able to go, but not wanting to promise anything.

“Good,” Serena said as she started walking down the steps again. She turned around when she was struck with an idea. Alex had told her about her and Casey’s ideas, but, frankly, she felt like they were not moving fast enough, and having known them both for years, knew how they needed a push sometimes to go for what they wanted. You and Alex had only gone a few steps, so you didn’t miss the swoosh of blonde hair coming back towards you.

“I remembered,” Serena said, “ I was going to ask you, Caroline, are you going to any salsa nights again soon?” You looked taken aback as she clarified, “I’ve wanted to pick it back up for a little while. I was going to ask last time but the conversation moved too fast.”

“You dance salsa?” Alex asked, blindsided. Serena nodded, an implied obviously in her expression. “When did you learn?” She asked again, knowing that Serena’s upbringing had been astonishingly similar to hers as far as old money and conservative attitudes went.

“Study abroad.”

You let it be quiet for a short moment, seeing Alex and Serena communicate with looks, something panicked in Alex’s and something scheming in Serena’s. You filed the moment away to think about later.

“Yes, actually, I think I’m going to one on Saturday, in Brooklyn as usual,” you said, testing the waters of their reactions. “Ashley’s still on tour so I was going to see if one of my old teammates would want to go with me,” you said. Alex squinted her eyes slightly, Serena knit her fingers together as you spoke. “But if you would like to, Serena,” you decided to just go for the invite, “we should go together.”

You thought you saw a flicker of jealousy from Alex when Serena enthusiastically accepted your invitation. You couldn’t be quite sure, but it was enough hope to leave another little piece of you burning.

---

@addictedtodinosaurs @nocreditinthestraightworld @sweetprentiss

remindr to sign up for my tagłist if you vvant to be tagged in these! (some of my keys are broken)

#svu #svu fanfic #law and order svu fanfic #alex cabot #casey novak #serena southerlyn #rita calhoun #casey novak x reader #alex cabot x reader #alex cabot x casey novak x reader #ofc #schemes!!!!#matchmaking #calex #calex x reader #please rb and 1ike

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peterpan-ouat-imagines · 3 years

Text

I love you, I hate you- Part 2

Felix telling me that Pan is seeing another girl puts a million thoughts in my head. Does he like her? Why does he feel the need to see and be with her when I’m here? Am I not pretty enough? Or good enough in general? I get worried not knowing what this means. But I don’t get why this is being shared with me either.

“Why are you telling me this? Pan trusts you, he would be livid if he knew you were telling me that kind of information,” I ask not thinking his head is clear.

“I am telling you this because I care about what happens,” he answers. Why does he have to be so freaking vague about everything? ‘What happens’ could mean anything! Ugh.

I try to pry him for more information but he doesn’t budge anymore. Breakfast comes to an end and we all clean up. I go to the medical hut to change my bandages. When I unwrap it, mine now looks terrible. It’s red and goopy and there’s some black cracks up my arm too which is abnormal unless it’s poisoned but we don’t use dreamshade to hunt so it isn’t that concerning. I go to find rubbing alcohol to try and disinfect it but there’s none. I wipe it up some so it’s less messy and put on fresh bandages this time wrapping it tighter than before because I’m still distracted by who this Wendy is and the amount of pressure I use shows that. It pinched my skin so much it hurts.

After it’s taped down I go outside and Felix tells us that we are going to practice sparring and tells us to partner up. I grab a stick and go to my friend Joe and we start doing it. We start fighting just as we normally would. He takes things up a level by going for my legs which obviously I jump for. I do the same and swing my stick at some of his weak spots and he reacts falling a couple times but good overall.

“Joe, go to Lee, I would like to practice with y/n,” Pan says in a business like tone. He nods and goes to the end.

“Pan!” I beam, “I missed you so much!” I exclaim and hug him. I then have the after thought of how he was with someone else and let go and step back quicker than I normally would.

“I missed you too,” he kisses me, “I’m sorry I left without saying anything,” he tells me.

“It’s fine,” I tell him not asking where he went. After a small awkward silence I talk again, “How was it?” I ask wanting to know if being with that other girl was horrible or not.

“It went fantastic. Who I saw was very interesting and I definitely will be going on a trip to see them again soon,” my heart drops when he says that. He likes her, I’m no longer the only girl in his life. Where will I go now? Neverland is for those who are lost and unloved but I feel incredibly more lost and unloved right now than I ever did back home.

We start to spar but I’m too distracted by what he told me to focus on fighting. Within the first 10 seconds he knocks the stick out of my hands.

He looks at me weird, “What’s gotten into you? You were fighting just fine moments ago,” he asks me.

“Just the excitement of having you back,” I lie with a fake half smile. I don’t care if I’m overreacting I feel like I belong on that floor for not being good enough for him.

I fight with him the rest of the time trying to keep my mind focused but it works less than I would hope for it to.

After the morning session he leans in and whispers, “now how about we spend the day doing some stuff to help you relax. You look as if you need it,” as he trails his fingers up and down my back.

I step away uncomfortable doing anything of the sort with my current knowledge, “That’s a nice offer but I’m okay. I had some plans today,” I tell him, “With Lee,” I add on wondering if some jealousy will get him back to wanting me and forgetting about that slut.

He looks confused but not jealous of any sort, “Alright then,” he tells me and then goes his own way.

I stand there lost wondering if he’s being a stupid boy not taking a hint or if he really doesn’t care. Either way I might as well give him attention and maybe flirt a little in front of Pan with him to try to get what I want.

I sit with him at camp all day being real close having Pan glance over at us occasionally unphased even when I try to flirt. He doesn’t flirt back which I didn’t expect because I thought I’ve seen enough signs for him to be into this. After a good couple hours of it I give up and go for a walk alone. I stumble upon Felix again and we get to talking.

“Pan had the best time with her, he plans on going back! I flirted with Lee all day and he didn’t say or do anything!” I tell him.

“Why do you think I care? Isn’t that what your mermaid friends are for? Anyway if you want my advice, do it with someone intimidating not Lee,” he shares.

“My relationship is over,” I state even though Pan hasn’t said it I know inside.

As the day comes to an end people are playing dumb stuff around a fire. I join in and drink. They seem to be playing truth or dare. I just want to forget about Wendy and how Pan left for the night again and get really drunk knowing something bad will happen.

“Y/n, truth or dare?” I’m asked.

“Truth,” I answer.

“Tell everyone what you think of Pan keeping on leaving for the girl in London,” the guy asks.

“Everyone knows about that?” I ask embarrassed. They nod saying they are surprised I found out. Having the alcohol hit me and soon to be regretful words, I pour out everything, “Well I’m pissed as fuck! I’m his girlfriend he should only want me! If he does whatever he wants what’s stopping me from sleeping with one of you? He wouldn’t care!” I see I sparked some of the lost boys interest when I said that as they lean in, “I just want him to want only me not that slut that is in a different realm!” I huff mad.

We play more rounds and I finally choose dare, “I dare you to makeout with me,” Sam sitting next to me says scooting closer, definitely thinking of the slutty comment I said earlier. Feeling so vulnerable and unloved I get ready to lean in to do it. Before I can move my head Felix comes and takes me away to Pan’s cave.

“What was that for? I was going to!-“ I begin lazy.

“I don’t care what you were going to do! I have a job and that’s to keep you safe while Pan is away! And that includes not fucking any lost boys out of anger!”

I turn away from him angry once he goes I feel my injured arm have this horrible pain that’s unlike anything but I’m too drunk and tired to check on it and I fall asleep.

I wake up the next morning with a raging headache and do the regular routine. I hunt with a group of people that’s not Lee for a change. They start talking about what happened last night as we climb in a tree.

“I can’t believe I said all that. Did Sam really try to kiss me?” I ask and they nod and I’m humiliated. I try to spear a boar distracted by something new and miss, it runs off. Rich does it correctly to another one and we carry it back.

I sit next to Felix, “Thanks for having my back last night,” I tell him.

“Just doing my job,” he tells me and sips water.

I sit with him in silence as we both eat.

Felix tells us we will not have a morning practice session and I go back to sleep this hangover off some more.

When I walk in the cheating Peter Pan is standing there.

“Hey,” I tell him holding my head.

“Hey darling how are you?” He asks.

“Exhausted. I got a raging hangover because I was stupid and let the guys rope me into drinking way beyond my normal limits,” I groan.

He comes over and helps me lay down, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?” He asks being genuine.

“Just some water is fine,” I say. He goes to get some and I look at my arm and even though it’s oozing some I don’t want to get anyone involved and I put on a jacket to hide it.

He comes back with what I asked telling me to get some rest and to call if I need anything that he will be in the tent he does business in.

I nod and sip the water and watch him as he goes. I lay down for several hours left with all my thought in my head I’ve had the past 24 hours. I can’t lose him though. I have to try to win him so I’m the only one he wants.

I go to his tent and see him standing there looking at pieces of parchment, “What are you looking at?” I ask poking my head behind him.

“I’m making a deal with Hook so he continues doing my dirty work,” he tells me.

“What if we do some dirty work?” I whisper and move my hand down to his crotch area and kiss his neck.

I can tell he’s smirking from the corner of my eye and he turns to me, “I’d love to do some dirty work with you,” he whispers back, “but I must finish this. I will later I promise. I do want to,” he kisses my cheek.

“You aren’t going to London? I mean away again tonight?” I correct myself because he does not know I know everything.

“No. I have more important things here. Like you,” he smiles which makes me smile feeling better about my place.

I leave his tent and go to see the mermaids and tell them everything that’s been happening and ask for there incite.

“You’re reading into it Pan loves you he would never cheat,” Serena tries to assure me.

“I don’t know. Two nights in a row on his “business trip” and if Felix of all people say that it’s true it probably is. He doesn’t bullshit stuff,” Alice tells me sounding sceptic.

They go back and forth defending there reasons leaving me confused.

“I still think Lee likes you. Grabbing you by the waist? And not moving his hands once your in a safe spot? That sounds so sexy!” Alice tells me.

“But that doesn’t explain why he didn’t flirt with me,” I tell them.

“He probably knew Pan was there and got nervous. Isn’t he shy? You might have to get him alone,” Serena suggests.

I think about it realizing that actually could be really true, “Thanks girls this has helped a lot,” I head out and find Lee.

He’s sitting around the camp. Right by the tent Pan is in lucky for me. I go to change my nasty bandages for my horrific arm and come back out, “Hey Lee,” I say right by the nylon outside of Pan, “Do you want to get out of here? For a walk in the woods or beach maybe?” I ask. I put my hand on his arm hoping Pan is looking at our shadows.

“Yeah. He smiles. That sounds nice,” he stands up and we walk into the trees. I look back briefly and see Pan staring at us starting to hide in some bushes not far away with a jealous look and I smirk.

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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how do u think a dair + serenessa double date would go? 👀

i tried my best, but tbh i think it’d be chaotic because i feel like the kind of things serena and vanessa would do on dates vs the kind of things dan and blair would do on dates would be wildly different! so if any of these options feel ooc that’s probably why. this was a fun ask though! and i came up with 5 potential double dates so hopefully at least ONE feels correct....

under the cut, because it got long (of course it did)

pre-date, dan & vanessa get ready together, and blair & serena get ready together. i think blair would do fishtail braids for serena or something, and serena would give blair input on what to wear, zip her dress. they'd fix each other's make-up. dan and vanessa would be doing the same thing! vanessa fixes dan's tie (she's had practice with nate's ties after discreet make-out sessions at his WASPy relatives' place, she knows how to fix a tie) and smooths down his suit. dan probably does something elaborate or fancy or pretty with her hair, braiding ribbons in or something (he grew up with jenny, he knows how to help a girl look fancy for a special occasion).

option 1:

they'd meet at a neutral location, like a park or something, and vanessa and serena would walk around slightly ahead of dan and blair, arms looped together, talking excitedly about something that dan and blair exchange puzzled looks at. dan and blair would walk around too, more leisurely, not really saying much but just enjoying each other's company? or maybe the would talk a lot because, well, they're dan and blair. eventually, blair reaches out for dan's hand and holds it and dan turns a fascinating shade of pink

they're in the park for an hour, until they either get bored or get kicked out for hanging out in the kids area because they're making the children wait lkhfdlkfgklgf. i think vanessa and serena would spend a lot of time on the merry go round while dan and blair stare at them with disappointed horrified wonder, like "how are they going so fast and not throwing up?" / "i don't know" . dan and blair would just sit on swings and not swing LKFHLKDGH.

after this, they do dinner at a posh restaurant, blair's choice.

option 2:

art gallery date!

dan and blair are being their lovely pretentious selves, going deep into symbolism and historical context and interpretation of paintings using different frameworks and like - vanessa knows enough to join them in the debate, but like....

serena is right there staring at various pictures and saying things like "this shade of green is so calming and soothing, makes me think of peppermint" or "if i could only see one colour for the rest of my life, it'd be this violet" or "this blue feels so melancholic" and vanessa finds herself so so so curious about what serena means, and she really wants to know what her girlfriend means, so she loops an arm around serena's waist and asks all the right questions (she's not trying to ask the right questions, she genuinely wants to know), all "what do you mean by that" or "why do you think that is" or "melancholic how? could you give me another example?"

serena is touched that vanessa actually wants to hear her interpretations as opposed to being academic or whatever

meanwhile dan and blair are two seconds away from yelling or frothing at the mouth. they are looking at a picture of sisyphus and arguing about what it means.

"do we do something about that?" serena asks. "nah, they're flirting," vanessa says.

db disappear for a hot minute, and when they return, blair's lipstick smudged on dan's face, serena and vanessa do a GREAT JOB at keeping their expressions neutral

option 3:

beach date! blair hates it because of all the sand but then dan piggybacks her everywhere and she's too busy having fun to really think about the sand. until dan runs right into the waves and she's shrieking, and she's like, humphrey do you know how much these clothes cost, and he thinks she's going to cry or something, and she knows he thinks that, because the next thing he knows, she's pushing him back into the water and he's spluttering because he actually dressed up for once (yes, he dressed up for the beach, his fancy ass girlfriend is totally rubbing off on him)

serena and vanessa just look at them like why are our friends like this

serena gets a surfboard and vanessa watches her and cheers

dan and blair are both just lying on a picnic blanket (vanessa's picnic blanket, now covered in seawater, thank you very much) and laughing so hard that vanessa goes, 'hey, are you both sober? did you show up here drunk?' and that just sets them off again

option 4:

open mic! blair bullies dan into performing a poem, and he goes, i know you write too, waldorf, so you’ve got to do something as well, and she does!! she’s never really thought of herself as a writer before but at that minute, she does.

vanessa gives serena a poem she’s written on the back of a receipt from some coffee shop, and serena goes and performs it, and dan and blair are both like, why didn’t you perform your own poem? and vanessa’s like, i wrote it for serena to perform. it’s a poem meant for serena in every possible way

they want to tease her for being a sap but they unfortunately have no ground to do so

after this they go to some nice, fun, extremely casual eatery in brooklyn and blair complains loudly and at every possible opportunity but once they’re actually there, she’s all smiles. she steals the salad off dan’s plate

serena talks to vanessa later, about ‘did you give me a poem to ensure i wouldn’t feel left out?’ and vanessa goes ‘no i gave you a poem because i wanted to. because i can’t stop writing poems about you and you mean so much to me’

option 5:

vanessa takes all of them to a lesbian concert

blair’s initially awkward about it like ‘i don’t want people to think im a lesbian!’ and dan is like “you can just kiss me in that case” and vanessa is like, “funny, nate never complained about that”

later, blair talks to dan about how the real reason she’s iffy about this concert is her hugeass crush on serena from when they were kids, and she’s over it, but sometimes she remembers it and it always hurts

and dan, to her surprise, gives her a hug and tells her about the hugeass crush he had on vanessa, and how she took him to these concerts all the time before she left and he kept wondering what it meant, because it always felt like a date, their bodies always smushed close together because of the way the crowd would be, and he tells her that it hurt, but he wants to go to a concert with blair, to make new memories or whatev

blair is like ‘nothing about this experience sounds appealing’

dan is like, ‘give it a try before you judge it’

and blair does and she hates the crowd as expected so she and dan sit outside together and she feels mildly awful about making him miss the concert, but they’re near one of the doors and they can still hear the music and blair thinks the band isn’t half bad and she tells him that, and dan laughs, like, ‘see? i knew you’d like them’ and blair gives him an incredulous look and kisses him

and keeps kissing him

serena and vanessa come out of the venue laughing, faces pink and flushed, and they look at dan and blair, who are standing there and smiling and looking sort of quiet and at peace and happy despite leaving in the middle

vanessa checks on blair, and blair smiles at her and says it’s all good, and v believes her, because she looks really happy

#dair #serenessa #anon #this was so much fun and i am SO deep in my feels #despite difference in vibes i feel like both serenessa and dair sort of like #have this ability to see each other's worst flaws and go 'i love you anyway'#which makes them so similar despite being wildly different?

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blairwaldcrf · 3 years

Text

my boyfriend's girlfriend- gossip girl

Summary: nate/dan/blair drabbles

i will always blame (with love) @bisexualdanhumphrey for my recent agenda

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read and comment here

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When Nate is asked if he's had his first kiss at 8 years old, his father steps in and lies. Of course, haven't you seen him and Blair?

In actuality Howard Archibald had caught Nate "practicing" kissing with Chuck in the toy room just a week ago. It was Chuck that had given the easy lie about it that way, and Nate didn’t understand why, but pretending they're practicing for girls makes his father happy so he doesn't disagree.

I'm just playing a pretend father and practicing for future girls, Nate tells the people who ask why he spends so much time with Dan Humphrey and his new baby. After all, he doesn't want to come out as bisexual when he and Dan are only barely finding a new rhythm as they move from friends, to lovers, to roommates, and by extension of that and Milo, co-parents… This, smiling as he watches Dan cave into sleep while still in the middle of holding up and giving Milo his bottle, deserves more than another snarky Gossip Girl scandal post.

….

At first glance after having kissed Dan, he had thought he was going to resent Milo. Surely now that Dan had a child, Nate's timing was off and Dan would give him a sad "sorry, but..." He starts to until the second Milo cries for a bottle but Dan can't quite make it one handedly in the wake of Georgina's very recent departure and so Nate is handed the baby once again.

He fumbles for the words to tell Dan to wait, he'll make the bottle, he's bad with kids-- but then Milo stops crying the second Nate turns him around and offers a panicked smile.

Dan backs out of the kitchen immediately. "Do that again."

"What, smile?" Nate asked incredulously.

"Whatever you just did," Dan repeats so desperately it's almost comical.

So he does it again, and when Milo gives the sweetest laugh only a baby can give, Nate's heart melts.

Finally , he thinks to himself before he can review the implications later that night before falling asleep. Finally something meaningful I'm good at . Dan is ecstatic that the cure to Milo's colic seems to be Nate comforting his son (if not only for sleep) and Milo is the child who depends on Nate's smile in such an innocent way. How had his mother and family expected him to use a fake smile for cameras and politics when the only one who truly cared about the way his lips curled could be cradled in two arms?

The first time he picks Milo up correctly on instinct he feels like he's five again, showing off to his mother that he can ride without training wheels. "Dan. Dan! Look!"

Said brunette gave him a quizzical look at first, in the middle of folding laundry, but then laughs freely upon realizing. "Finally."

Milo coos at the sound laughter like always, and Nate's smile grows even further.

….

When Dan & Blair first accidentally meet at some film showing at the forum that Nate was more than happy to babysit Milo for than attend, Nate hears all night about how Blair's opinions on the entire movie are either spot on or completely ridiculous. The volley back and forth as Dan describes them to him in turn, "I don't get how she can agree with that when…", "Can you believe she…" makes him raise an eyebrow, but he lets the passionate rant subside and instead orders dinner. Something light for the summer. More movies are seen, sometimes with Nate attending as well when Rufus can babysit. Blair insists on sitting in the very middle of the seating so she can be dead straight to the screen, and then steals Nate or Dan’s popcorn even when they try to get her one of her own. Summer turns out better than expected like this.

Then Dan complains about Blair almost every night the first week of interning at W Magazine, and Nate has to remind him repeatedly that they're friends now. Dan needs the opportunity to intern so he'll have a passing job soon to afford Milo, though, so the pleas go unheard. When Nate bothers to drop in on Blair and ask her to create some peace treaty, it’s useless. Dan pulls a Blair and Blair pulls a Dan, but in the end it’s clear that their budding friendship is heading into better territory than it ever had been.

It's a long year of Dan & Nate trying desperately to avoid the schemes of their friends, taking in turns who had to babysit Milo. By the end of spring, Blair is engaged to a prince and Nate almost feels relieved. He'd never say so to Dan.

The engagement doesn't last anyway. Blair is pregnant and scared, and by the end of the month when Blair finds out that the baby is Chuck’s, she moves into the Brooklyn loft and away from the Upper East Side at Dan’s request. Nate can’t get the image of a broken window and Blair fleeing after the attack at the penthouse out of his mind.

….

“Are we sure murder isn’t on the table?” Dan asks angrily, staring down at the computer Jenny is working on beside Blair. The two women’s apologies and forgiveness had been strained and their being in the same room without killing each other was tenuous, but in the end they were both victims of Chuck and that bonded them more than split them up when all was brought to light.

That, and Dan refused to let Blair continue to hide in the Brooklyn loft without a full confrontation about Jenny.

“Dan.” Nate chastises, head pointing to Blair. With a small sigh, he apologizes, but he doesn’t look any less moody. There had never been good blood between Dan and Chuck, for good reason, but now that he had found out that Chuck had yet again assaulted someone, and Blair at that, he was vengeful. Luckily, Dan wasn’t the kind to hire a hitman.

He was the type to request help with a takedown from Jenny, though, the second Chuck tried to go after Blair legally over a child that’s not even born.

Milo seems to be the one who wins over Jenny for the takedown, because when the blonde looks over at Blair and her swollen stomach and sorrowful face, she cracks. “I can file charges against him, but we have to do this together, Blair. I’m serious.”

“I am too.” Blair says, tears in her eyes as she holds her belly tight. “I have to be.”

Jenny nods. They speak to the lawyers and detectives in secret. Even Serena adds to the charges, an unknown attempt until the chefs at the hotel back her up as witnesses. Nate has to hold Dan back, remind him that he could lose Milo to Georgina if he does something stupid, but Nate has to admit he wants to punch Chuck bloody himself after reading the full testimonies from the women he was closest to.

He had known Chuck was a mess. He hadn’t realized how many messes he had made, and for that Nate hated himself. Surely he could have stopped some of these. He should have held his once best friend accountable so much earlier, could have thrown away some childhood crush. Nate is complicit in ways he thinks Dan should hate him for. Dan only shakes his head and mentions that he was the one who told Jenny not to press charges against the kid of a millionaire who would get off in seconds when they were all so young. Nate pretends he isn’t crying later that night and Dan does the same.

When Chuck is put into prison, Nate isn’t naive enough to breathe in relief, but he gets close.

….

"It's poetic." Blair is smiling softly at him in a way she hasn't since they were young and she thought he could save her from their parents. "You being so good with him."

Nate raises an eyebrow as he rockets Milo, but he thinks he knows what she means, and after all these years of knowing her, he's right.

"After everything your father put you through… you just shine at being one despite him." Blair offered. "Humphrey had love and a mother who couldn't hire nannies, he was born for this. But you…" She trails off after waving a hand at all of him and the way Milo is sleeping so softly on his chest.

"Thanks, Blair." He tells her, hoping his voice sounds even.

Dan has said as much to him, as had Rufus, Jenny who was back in the city to be a happy aunt, and Lily. The compliments from those three were lovely and meant the world, but they didn't carry the same weight that Blair's did.

Blair, who had been there in the lows of his father's then secret drug addiction and seen the way "The Captain" yelled at Nate in emotional tirades. She'd seen the aftermath of physical confrontations, however subtle. A bruised wrist from being dragged out of a room or a bruised arm from being hit when found smoking weed. Blair, who had all the love of an Upper East Side father and the crashing realization when that wasn't enough.

Biting his lip, because if he lets the worried sigh drag out of him he might wake up Milo, he says, "I still have 18 years and more to mess up with a kid of my own."

"You won't," she says, without the kind tone that Dan had used when saying the same thing. This was bossy, hard, certain. "You'll refuse to as much as I'll refuse to let you. We promised that, remember?"

And they had, once, on the tail end of fourteen when Serena's father had left again, Blair had been throwing up food for what would then be the first time, and Nate tired from having stayed up all night comforting his mother Anne. We'll never be them. We'll warn each other the second we have to.

But who had thought they would need a warning before their thirties had even begun?

"Yeah. I remember."

She gives him another quick smile, one to hide what was now pain and worry coming up as she stared down at her unborn child.

"You won't be your mother either, Blair," he tells her. Trying to get her to smile, he added, "Eleanor would never do something like step in Brooklyn."

"I don't know," she says, her lips curling mischievously for a second. "I'm also not living with straight men."

He laughs and so does she, and they keep the worry about Chuck wrapped away.

…

"Will you stop leaving the shower like that?" Dan snaps at Blair one of the mornings that Nate has slept over (more and more living here like a step-parent, but that was a different conversation). "How many times do we have to tell you we aren't gay and it is inappropriate."

"I thought you said you wanted me to be comfortable here, Humphrey." Blair replies with an all too silky tone. Nate rolls his eyes at them from the comfortable pillow for not the first time and gets out of bed to stop the impending fight that will likely wake Milo up, right as Blair adds, "If it makes you uncomfortable maybe that's a problem for you and Nate, not me."

"Blair, I swear to God--,"

"Dan. Chill." Nate interrupts. They both turn to see him in the doorway, Dan looking chastised and a rather naked Blair failing at looking guilty. "And Blair, come on. You know what you're doing. Either stop or be honest."

The fake sheepish expression on her face gives way to pursed lips and a dainty glare. "I don't know what you're talking about. Regardless, I'm late to classes. See you both later." And she leaves the living room to get dressed with Dan glaring fiercely at her back and Nate wanting to throw a pillow at him.

Mumbling something about checking on Milo, Dan leaves the room also and Nate wonders how on earth he can force the two to sit down and talk without one of them bolting. How on earth did Serena put up with them?

….

He manages to pin Blair down first, which quite possibly was a miracle with how desperately she had been avoiding him. They’re both at a party Dan hadn’t wanted to attend and he catches her in a side room where she had run away from Serena. Nate wasn’t quite sure what their drama was, but he didn’t care to ask.

“Blair, we need to talk.”

“Now?” she asks, pouting. She’s sitting on a chair and rubbing her ankles, looking very much pregnant. “Can’t it wait when I’m at home and out of these heels? My feet are absolutely disgusting right now.”

“Now,” he reaffirms. “Admit you’re attracted to Dan and not just trying to find someone safe like I’m sure you’ve convinced yourself is all you’re doing.”

Her entire demeanor changes immediately. “Excuse me?”

“You heard what I said.” Nate says. “Dropping towels, leaving out lingerie, your usual scheming.”

“Dan loves you,” she says softly in return, shaking her head. “I’m just a pregnant single mother in my twenties who wants to feel sexy.”

…

One night, in the chaos of their soap-opera worthy lives, Nate comes home to the loft-- which is such a weird thing to think of as his home-- and sees Dan and Blair perfectly cuddling against each other on the couch asleep. There’s something innocent about it, tissue box near as if Blair had been crying, but both of them had little time to rest between Milo and Blair’s complaints that sleeping with a pregnant belly was impossible at third trimester. Nate doesn’t want to think on the feelings rising up in him at this sight-- there’s too much to even find a place to start-- so he thinks of how they’d react to seeing themselves so vulnerable with each other. Likely Nate will have a wholesome picture that he can pretend is only blackmail and not, in fact, a picture of his entire world with only one baby missing.

Snapping the picture with flash on wakes the two up, but is completely worth it as they groggily catch sight of him and jump apart from each other.

“ Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald ,” Blair angrily snaps, “Delete that now .”

Dan starts laughing and Blair turns on him. “You want that leaked to Gossip Girl?”

“Nate has never sent in a thing.” Dan replies, chuckling in between his response. “I’m just amused you went full on Waldorf mother mode.”

Blair’s glare is fantastic as she gasps, causing Nate to laugh even harder.

“I did not .”

“I’m sorry, did you or did you not just use his full name?” Dan laughs, an eyebrow raised. His challenge seems to make her furious, so very temperamental lately.

“It was an instinct brought on by the delirium of waking up next to you,” she argues huffily, and Dan rolls his eyes in a way that makes Nate crack.

“God, just kiss.”

All three of them still. Nothing can be heard except for the classical music coming from the nursery in the other room. Nate tries to berate himself when he sees Dan’s face fall into guilt and hurt. Nate tries to make up for it. “I didn’t mean it like that, I love you--,” worst time to admit it “--but you clearly love Blair too.”

“I--,” Dan falters, caught blank at the attention. “Nate, that’s not what’s going on. I love you--,”

“I know.” Nate replies, all too aware of how Blair looks ready to run.

Dan is still fumbling, turning to Blair with a lost expression that turns firm as he says, “Look, you deserve someone whose sole attention is you, Blair. I don’t fit that. I don’t want you to feel like you’re in some position that your mother--,”

“Humphrey, shut up,” Blair demands. “I get to decide what I deserve and want, no one else. You should have learned that by now. You too, Nate.”

Which he should have, of course, because now Blair is sitting up straight and in command of the entire room like she’s the royalty she almost became. Nate nods and wonders what the hell Blair was going to say now.

“I’ll admit that I have been incredibly blessed to have both of you in my life, but I am not going to come between--,”

“You won’t,” Nate announces. “If you want this, all of this, you won’t be in between anything.”

Staring straight at him, there’s a searching expression in Dan’s narrowed brown eyes and furrowed brow. Nate knows he can spot appreciation and relief, but he also knows that the writer will definitely overthink this for the next month or so. Still, when Blair hesitantly looks to Dan, the brunette nods.

Nate is glad the classical music covers the sounds the happy three of them make that night.

…..

#dan x nate #dan x blair #dair #danate #nate x dan x blair #gossip girl #gossip girl fic #i have been hit with feelings

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zalrb · 3 years

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What characters with bad/abusive parents do you not believe? Like for example I think you've said something like that before about Lorelai/Emily

Uh, Lily wasn’t supposed to be the greatest parent until she goes through some kind of reformation but I didn’t think she was as terrible as the show wanted us to think she was, which was mostly due to framing:

The thing with Lily was that they discuss through dialogue how Lily was super absent before the show begins and the doorman had to sign permission slips and they stayed over at Blair’s and Nate’s all the time, which I think did a good job in re-establishing that Serena, Blair and Nate were really close but I never really got a sense of that through action, like Serena painted Lily to be this monster and I was like ... ... I mean, she seems kinda fine to me. I think they did a better job with the distant mother angle with Eleanor and Blair,

Even the whole thing with Eric, the point was supposed to be that Lily hid Eric from the Upper East Side because she was embarrassed of his suicide attempt and wanted to sweep it under the rug and maintain a facade but what I actually saw executed was Lily wanting to keep Eric away from the public eye because she thought rest and time away was truly what was best for him.

And the whole Ben-Serena thing, sure it could be argued that as a person Lily did something fucked up by getting Ben sent to prison but she did hear girls whispering about an adult and a teacher taking her underage daughter to a B&B so I can understand why as a mother she went to the headmaster and raised her concerns to get Serena a transfer and Ben charged with statutory rape.

You already mentioned Emily and Lorelai:

The thing with me and Lorelai and Emily is that I intellectually understand why they have a strained relationship, I intellectually understand Lorelai’s point of view, Emily is controlling and she’s classist and she doesn’t listen and there are storylines that showcase this, namely the Christopher fiasco at the wedding (or even with Rory, the way that she broke into her dorm and redecorated) but because for the most part, the stakes are relatively low like DAR meetings at the inn or Friday Night dinners, which are really mostly ploys to spend time with Lorelai, and Lorelai’s response to those things is to liken her to Hitler and Stalin, I usually find myself frustrated mostly with Lorelai and agreeing with Emily because Lorelai, it really isn’t that bad and you need to get a grip.

In Elite, Omar and Nadia’s father was, like:

With Omar, I get that his parents’ rule is supposed to be this oppressive/suppressive regime, which I had issues with because the framing of Omar and Nadia’s family is more aggressive than the others and then it gets super white saviour-y by the end of the season but at the same time I didn’t think that his father was as much of a tyrant as the show wanted me to believe he was, he has the right to be upset that his son is a drug dealer, his daughter is lying to him about where she is and who she’s going out with after Guzman showed up in his shop with rich white male entitlement, parents are allowed to get upset with their children and tell them not to lie to them, it’s not until Ander’s mom outs Omar, which is super shitty btw, that I can understand more about what Omar struggles with but until that point it’s as if the writers want us to simply make the connections between homophobia and Islam and that’s why Omar is sometimes wishy-washy when it’s convenient and that’s both lazy and problematic.

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terrainofheartfelt · 2 years

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Dairffair headcannons?

OOooooOOOooooOOOOhhhhh don't mind if I do!

not sure if the following are actually headcanons or just au ideas that I'll probably never write.

absolutely enamoured with the prospect of The Most Secret Affair tm in 5x10 being like an ACTUAL affair. Blair turns to Dan in the aftermath of the accident like she does, and it leads to real Intimacy, but her head is still so jumbled by Louis and Chuck and everything else that it takes her a while to realize her feelings for what they are. whoops I already did that fic.

another Louis dairffair one: blair and dan do run away together after the wedding and they are like already so far gone for each other that it just happens. when blair decides she wants out of the marriage, dan is already there for her, but he doesn't see a point to waiting to love her until she's free, so they just...carry on seeing each other in secret.

following the prompt granted by nads' post: when dan and serena get engaged, serena pushes him so that they spend actual time with blair and her husband, so they can be the best couple friends serena wishes they would be. it goes terribly. bc dan cannot talk to the blair he knows because she doesn't exist when her husband is present, and their both such bitches that all serena's efforts at conversation fall flat.

they run into each other shortly after and argue - maybe it happens while they're still at the restaurant, or by the kitchen sink in that fugly ass townhouse, but they go at it, screaming at each other like it's high school all over again, except that they never fought like this in highschool, only after, when blair liked him so much she didn't know what to do but fight him about it, like W, or the hotel after her first wedding.

it culminates in dan saying something like "why does it bother you so much that I'm here? why?" she can't come up with an answer, so she kisses him instead. suds of l'occitane shampoo from doing the dishes still on her hands when she runs them through his hair.

"that can't happen again" she says. except that it does.

dan is ready to call off the wedding immediately but blair can't let him. for all her silly warped logic reasons, but there's also real ones, like if he does now, then her husband will know why, and she could lose henry and everything else.

imagine it going on, to the point of blair even hosting the wedding at her house (warped logic at work again), but dan won't go through with it. catch them running out of that fugly ass townhouse together (with henry ofc)

and one more just for funsies, bc I was on an MT listening kick a couple weeks ago and since have been into the idea of a Bridges of Madison County kind of au

Blair being a housewife and mom but feeling hollow. Then, when left alone for a weekend (her husband taking her teenaged son on a business trip), she crosses paths with a writer from out of town, chasing a story.

Their connection is so fast and overwhelming, and they both try to fight it, but in the end they don't want to, to Dan, it feels like every wandering path of his life has led to her. to Blair, it feels like too sacred and precious a thing to try and explain or put a name to.

Dan stays with her for four days, but begs her to come and leave with him, he's leaving to research his next piece, and he could show her the world she's kept herself back from, but she doesn't know how to leave Henry.

she says yes, but that she has to tell Henry herself. to really say goodbye. to let him know he's loved. but Henry and his father are always at odds, and when they come back they're stewing from a preexisting argument, and Blair can't find the chance

she suggests they go out, just to get out of the house, and as they do, she sees Dan across the street. and she thinks about going to him, making him happy, living a life with him.

but she just can't.

Dan understands it, understands her, and so he lets her go, but keeps writing for her, to her. They were only ever meant to be a moment in time, but, god, what a moment

#hooooo boy made myself emotional on that last one #ty for sending stars love <3333 #gg hcs #gg au #insistonyourcupofstars #asks

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isthemicon · 3 years

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Why as a Chair shipper I think Dair relationship was necessary and how it was completely ruined

Disclaimer: If you are Dair shipper please try to read it with an open mind. I’m in no way trying to show which ship is superior (they are equal, they both have fans that care and find them interesting) I’m simply trying to show my perspective and my disappointment on the way it was handled.

Okay let’s get to real thing.

Why I think that at point Blair needed to be with Dan and why Dan needed to be with her ?

Let’s first talk about where at the point Blair is in her life. Blair is a completely broken woman. Everything she believed in turned into dust. In a time span of like a year she got engaged, got pregnant, was hurt in accident, lost a baby, man she loved nearly died, she made a pact with God, was ready to give up her happiness believing that it is the right thing to do (I also have post touching that subject so feel free to check it out) and then she learned that all of that was for nothing. She was humiliated and in her mind that was all her fault, she was the only one to blame, that her decisions lead her to that moment where she isn’t sure of what might happen next.

She no longer wants that many emotions, she wants the world to slow down (kind of like when she got back together with Nate in season 2).

At that point she learns more about Dan’s book and about the character of Clair. Clair is a woman that didn’t lose a baby, wasn’t in marriage that was a sham, Clair’s world was simpler. Clair’s world was everything that he life wasn’t at that point. Clair is very much like Blair but she isn’t her, the “bad qualities” in Blair aren’t something that she pretends to have, her scheming, her love of the UES, it is all part of her. They also don’t make her bad, they just make her three dimensional character.

She can’t fully eradicate them but for a moment she can pretend that they are not there. For a moment she can be a women that doesn’t care for those things.

Because the truth is that she is not yet ready to be fully the proud Blair she really is. She needed time to heal and she couldn’t get back with Chuck. Not because he would hurt but because Chuck was part of the Blair she wasn’t ready to be.

So she gets together with Dan, he is there to make her feel like Clair, to make her see what a life could be. From the writing point of view, he is also the be a buffer between her and Chuck. Because at that moment she was not ready to have her happy ending with Chuck, she needed to heal and clear her head, to figure things out on her own. In a real life she would go to the therapy, would give herself some time but that would not make an interesting show, viewers wouldn’t understand why they aren’t together if no one isn’t standing in their way. That’s why she starts a relationship with Dan, he is her friend so she doesn’t mind spending time with him, they have common interests, they have fun together. She is in a way using him to see what could be and what should be. She needs that relationship, she won’t regret it but she also knows that it isn’t truly real.

That relationship was always supposed to end but the way it ended was frankly disappointing because they could have handle it in a fantastic way and have a really grown up story that understands characters and doesn’t just look to shock the viewer.

They’ve ruined it by handling the break up the way they wrote it.

The fact that they don’t actually have talk where they break up is awful and very inconsistent with their characters. In my opinion by the end of season 5 they should have talk, a sad but honest talk. Where they establish the future of the cannon relationships. Where for example Dan realizes that Blair will never be in love with him and he tells her about in something along “it was always him wasn’t it ?” lines. She with tears in her eyes tells him that yes, Chuck will always have her heart, that she will forever cherish the relationship she had with Dan, that it was important to her and helped her but wasn’t meant to be. She would then say something like “we both wanted this friendship to be something more because it would be easier than what truly is in our hearts” telling him that she also knows that just as for her it always be Chuck, for him it will always be Serena. Then they would both give each other a blessing, they would remain friends that they both needed each other and would support each other on the finale journey. It would be consistent with the way they were acting towards each other in the first half of season 5 and would actually show that they truly cared for each other.

Unlike what they’ve done. The fact that they had Dan sleep with Serena at the top of the bar at Sheppard’s party while still technically being with Blair is just awful. There is no way that after everything they have been through, both Blair & Dan and Serena & Blair, they would do something like that. They knew that it was the worst possible thing to do. They knew that it would hurt Blair, even if she didn’t have romantic feelings for him. That it would wake up the memories from a period of time that was difficult for her. And then for them to run away without a word ? For Dan not to let Blair explain even though she tried to contact him, showing that she still cared enough for him to do the right thing and have the closure. They’ve completely ruined the bond that they had and made their relationship unimportant, almost on the level of Marcus or Carter. As if Dan was yet another Blair’s romance when he clearly was more than that. They’ve also ruined all the development, taking them back to season 1 where the couldn’t care less for each other.

The thing is they haven’t done to make Chair work, or because it was the only option for it to end this ways. They’ve done to make a Dan in season 6 work and by doing that they’ve ruined not only their friendship and his character but also they’ve started this ridiculous battle that is in the fandom. I’m not talking here about him being gg thing, that could still work out without that shameful ending of their relationship (I think Dan should be a gossip girl, I also have a post on that), I’m taking about Dan writing the articles about his friends and turning into someone that is seeking revenge. Which is sad and out of blue because even with him being the gossip girl he still was a character that didn’t want to destroy that world but he simply wanted to be a part of it.

#gossip girl #blair waldorf #chuck bass #love #ship #dan humphrey #nate archibald #serena van der woodsen #chuck and blair #gg #chuck x blair #chair #overthinker

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nateserenas · 3 years

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what are your thoughts on season 4 serenate

not a fan. the aftermath of their breakup made zero sense.

the breakup in season 3 is about two people who love each other and have both, ‘wanted this for a really long time,’ but where one person isn’t ready. so she breaks up with him even though she loves him because she needs to find herself. she has to do so for herself and it’s also the, ‘only way we’ll ever have a real chance.’ i really like that narrative and i think it made a lot of sense for their relationship and them as characters.

but in season 4, the breakup gets retconned. suddenly the show is trying to tell us that serena broke up with nate because she still had feelings for dan. like literally a blatant retcon. which sucks because breaking up with nate in season 3 was a really introspective decision for serena. she realized that she needed to be by herself to find herself. but with the retcon, suddenly she does not have to find herself anymore and she’s ready to be in a relationship again. like the retcon ruined the really well-written breakup in season 3 which made sense for the characters and the relationship but it also ruined serena’s character development. like going from wanting to find herself to just not…

and then obviously the scene where nate does not care about serena’s overdose is the worst thing ever and insanely out of character. like no matter how mad nate ever was at serena, he would still always come if she was hurt.

and ugh the juliet storyline. like i actually think that nate being mad at serena when she got back from paris was interesting. like he’s mad at her and he’s with someone else. and it’s like, serena’s not his first priority anymore. which is a huge first and something serena is definitely not used to. like she had always been nate’s priority before even when he was with someone else. and nate had always forgiven her for everything in the past. so i think serena dealing with nate being mad at her and her not being his priority anymore would be a really interesting storyline. if it was well-written that is. like okay i’ve mostly blocked out the first half of season 4 but didn’t nate like immediately stop being upset at serena when it’s revealed that juliet was not a great person. like that is so stupid?? like juliet probably did egg on nate’s anger at serena but it’s not because of juliet that nate was mad. nate was upset because from his perspective serena gave up on them. so it made like zero sense for him to just.. get over that because he found out that juliet wasn’t great, like his anger had nothing to do with juliet. also, the, ‘nate is with someone else and mad at serena’ storyline didn’t exist to do something interesting like deal with serena dealing with nate not being there anymore. it didn’t do that. instead it existed because they wanted a haha serena is back from paris and now both dan and nate don’t want her scene. like i think that was kind of gross honestly. like they were mocking serena for leaving to find herself. so basically i think the juliet storyline could have been interesting if literally everything was better.

serena would spend season 4 finding herself. there would be no love triangle. like dan&serena would find closure and finally let each other go. but no romantic dan&serena. and no retcon of the serenate breakup to as being because serena still had feelings for dan. as for nate, i would have him date someone new in season 4. and have him being mad at serena. and i think some of serena’s story would be about dealing with the fact that she isn’t nate’s priority anymore. like i think before she has never realized how much she was nate’s priority but now that he’s gone she’d feel it. and i think their storyline should’ve been written so that by the end of season 4 understands why she left and forgives her and they work towards becoming friends again. and then season 5 getting closer and eventually season 6 serenate endgame <3

#asks #anon #thank you for asking 😊#serenate asks

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alternate-pokemon-next-gen · 3 years

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Ketchum Family Trivia

Ash’s Trivia

~Ash had spent a lot of his time with Pokemon more than people due to other kids bullying him.

~Ash hadn’t met his first human friend until he was six where he met Anabel.

~Ash and Anabel became very close since both of them could understand Pokemon and grew close to each other.

~Ash had met Serena a little after meeting Anabel, the three of them were close friends.

~When they met up again in Kalos, Ash became a wingman for Serena when he found out about her crush on Aria.

~Ash had gotten attacked by his main bullies and ended up being put in the hospital for a few weeks.

~Ash didn’t encounter Team Rocket due to the fact that Team Rocket was disbanded by his father Red and Red’s friends Blue, Green and Yellow and the revival of Team Rocket was stopped by Gold, Silver and Crystal.

~Ash was childhood friends with Gold and Crystal’s younger siblings Jimmy and Marina.

~Ash loved music ever since he was a baby as his parents would sing to him or play music for him when he was a newborn.

~It’s because of that, Ash is an incredible singer and his aura abilities are connected to his love of music.

~Ash didn’t meet or travel with Brock, Misty, May, Max, Dawn, Cilan, Iris, Serena, Clemont and Bonnie. He traveled with Gold, Silver and Crystal in Kanto, Orange Islands and Johto. Silver and Crystal in Hoenn. Silver, Anabel and Molly in Sinnoh, Unova and Kalos.

~Ash had befriended Jessie, James and Meowth due to them not being part of Team Rocket due to it disbanding before they could join. As such they’re all good friends.

~Ash was going to turn down the offer to be a Frontier Brain when Brandon offered, but when he realized that he could be closer to Anabel he agreed to be a Frontier Brain.

~When Ash met Anabel again and she offered to have him and his family come to her house, he happily agreed and when Silver asked about his battle Ash had simply said “Screw the battle!”

~Ash is a big fan of idols and Pokemon performers, a love that had passed to his older son Lazarus.

~When Ash was little, he could use his aura to read another person’s aura which helped him point out scammers, criminals and con artists who were pretending to be good people.

~Ash could also track someone’s aura so long as he’s seen and analyzed them before.

~Ash was known to befriend all kinds of wild Pokemon, he was so close to them that if he was in trouble wild Pokemon would help him even if they never met him before.

Anabel’s Trivia:

~Anabel used to live in Hoenn before she moved to Kanto.

~After moving to Kanto, Anabel would pretend to be a boy due to other kids from Hoenn saying she couldn’t be a Frontier Brain if she wasn’t an attractive girl.

~When she befriended Ash, she told him that she was a girl but Ash already knew and didn’t care that she was a girl.

~Anabel had befriended Serena around the same time they met.

~Anabel was slightly worried that Serena would try to be with Ash when they were older, but she was reassured by Serena that she wasn’t going to take Ash from her.

~After meeting Ash, she grew out her hair and stopped pretending to be a boy, saying that she’ll become a Frontier Brain because she has someone who believes in her and she wants to battle him one day.

~When she heard Ash was put in the hospital she visited him everyday, sadly he was either unconscious when she visited or so loopy from pain killers that he didn’t know who she was while she was there. She didn’t mind and stayed by his side for as long as she could.

~Anabel has psychic abilities that she’ll only use for emergencies or to help Ash when his aura isn’t enough.

~Anabel enjoys listening to Ash sing and enjoys singing with him.

Silver’s Trivia:

~Silver was childhood friends with Gold and Crystal, he teamed up with them to stop the revival of Team Rocket.

~Despite being Giovanni’s son, he completely rejects any notion of being related to Giovanni. To Silver, Red is the only father he has.

~Silver doesn’t have the same interest in singing as Ash does but he is a good singer when no one is looking.

~Silver was deeply upset when he got word that Ash was put in the hospital and wanted to beat up the bullies who did that to his little brother, but wild Pokemon beat him to it, which amused him.

~Silver always had a crush on Crystal and got annoyed when Gold or any other guy would flirt with her, even if they weren’t dating at the time.

~Before Ash was born, Silver made a promise to Red to always protect his younger brother or sister and keep an eye on them. He always feels horrible when something bad happens to Ash and he either couldn’t stop it from happening or wasn’t there to protect him.

~Silver has a Kyoto accent that comes out when he’s really angry, he always hates it when it pops up.

Crystal’s Trivia:

~When Crystal’s arms were broken when she was little, Silver was there to help her heal even though he had no idea how to help. She appreciated the gesture which is what made her develop a crush on him.

~Even after that day, she felt weak and unworthy of being near him and vowed to never be in that situation again

~Crystal still works with children when she isn’t being a professor’s assistant.

~Crystal finds Ash to be cute and often calls him ‘sweetie’ out of affection.

~Crystal is close to her younger sister Marina and always supported her relationship with Jimmy and Vincent.

~Crystal enjoys cooking and is very good at it, being the cook of the group (and kicking Gold when he would make a sexist comment about when she was cooking)

~Crystal would later teach Ash how to cook when he was older and she enjoyed teaching him how to cook.

Lazarus’ Trivia:

~Lazarus has a great singing voice like Ash, but he sucks at dancing.

~Lazarus has a huge love for anything dealing with stage performances, which is one reason why he really likes Ariel.

~Lazarus is aware of Ariel’s crush on him and does like her back, he just wants to wait for the right moment to confess his feelings to her.

~Lazarus does have a Pikachu as part of the Ketchum family tradition, his Pikachu is just more of a companion and acts as the Battle Frontier mascot.

~Lazarus’ dream is to create a new kind of Battle Frontier that matches that of the Pokemon gyms and the Elite Four.

~Lazarus is just as reckless as Ash was and Ash can’t even scold him for being reckless without sounding like a hypocrite.

~Lazarus’ battle style is similar to his father’s he plays to his Pokemon strengths and uses his quick thinking skills to create unique counters.

~Lazarus didn’t go to school or daycare when he was younger, preferring to just learn from experience than in school.

~Lazarus’ favorite color is white, he doesn’t know why.

~Lazarus’ favorite food is pancakes and his favorite drink is orange juice.

Chetari’s Trivia:

~The main reason why Chetari was adopted by Ash was because he heard her sing and he has a weakness for anyone who can sing.

~Chetari’s Jigglypuff is the son of the Jigglypuff that would draw on someone’s face if they fell asleep after she was done singing.

~The reason why Chetari has a rapping Swablu was simply because the idea sounded funny.

~Chetari studies human health as well as Pokemon health, someone has to make sure her adopted brother doesn’t hurt himself too badly.

~Chetari’s off color Gallade was based off of a idea me and unknownwolf1996 had where Chetari caught a Kirlia that was the same color as a character from Danganronpa, Kiibo the Kirlia then became a bit of a running gag.

~Chetari has a Zorua because that’s her signature Pokemon no matter what.

~Chetari has a Vaporeon both because I felt she needed an Eeveelution and because Vaporeon wasn’t taken by anyone yet.

~Wanted to replace Draco with Nuzleaf because it would be more fun that way.

~Chetari also has a Pikachu but like Lazarus’ Pikachu, she’s a companion.

~Chetari’s favorite food is pork buns and her favorite drink is tea.

Jewel’s Trivia:

~Jewel loves being with kids and is always happy to catch a Pokemon for them.

~Jewel often has to scold her cousin Lazarus for when he does something reckless.

~Jewel is a very good artist and photographer, she also enjoys scrap booking and is very good at it.

~Jewel is an amazing dancer, but she isn’t the best at singing.

~Jewel had went to school when she was younger before she applied as an assistant for Professor Cerise.

~Jewel knows her younger sister is afraid of Pokemon and often tries to get her used to Pokemon she catches, sometimes it works.

~Jewel is happy to provide Pokemon to help her cousin’s dream.

~Jewel always ties her hair in a bun or in a ponytail when she’s flying to avoid having her hair in her face and when she’s in the field so her hair doesn’t get in the way.

~Jewel also has an outfit for field work she wears as she doesn’t want to get her kimono dirty or ripped.

~Jewel’s team is built for capturing Pokemon similar to Crystal’s team with Meganium being her land transportation, Pidgeot being air transportation, Gothia using Mean Look to prevent Pokemon from escaping, Hitmonlee to be a battler for stronger Pokemon, Foongus to make Pokemon easier to catch with status effects and Pawniard to use False Swipe.

~Jewel was given Hitmonlee as a opposite to Crystal’s Hitmonchan.

~Jewel’s favorite color is red, which is why she loves her hair.

~Jewel’s favorite food is ramen and her favorite drink is green tea.

Morado’s Trivia:

~Morado’s hair was a lot lighter when he was younger, it got darker when he got older due to him spending a lot of time in the sun.

~Morado doesn’t like interacting with kids his own age as he thinks other kids aren’t as interesting as Pokemon.

~Morado doesn’t openly trust other kids despite his optimism.

~Morado likes music like his father and brother, he enjoys playing with drums.

~Morado has an interest in sports and wants to take up some sports when he’s older.

~Despite wearing purple and his name meaning purple, Morado’s favorite color is actually blue.

~Morado’s favorite food is omelette rice and his favorite drink is milk.

Tamako’s Trivia:

~Tamako loves her long hair and refuses to have it cut, even if her bangs are in the way of her vision.

~The barrette she wears was given to her so she didn’t have to cut her bangs.

~Tamako enjoys being with other kids her age and has a lot of friends at school.

~While she is afraid of being near Pokemon she isn’t familiar with, she still will heal them if any of them are injured.

~Her slight fear of Pokemon came from an incident she doesn’t like talking about as it brings up too many bad memories.

~Tamako speaks with a Kyoto dialect, though she often hides it as she finds it embarrassing.

~Tamako’s favorite color is turquoise.

~Tamako’s favorite food are dangos and her favorite drink is lemonade.

#Pokemon #Next Gen #Pokemon Next Gen #Trivia #AbilityShipping #SpecialJewelShipping #Lazarus Ketchum #Jewel Ketchum #Morado Ketchum #Tamako Ketchum #Chetari Ketchum #Main Cast #Children #Fan Kids #Pokemon Fan Kids

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