#i thankfully uploaded these on my deviantart account so this is all i have left of them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 10 months

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Hey, it’s been awhile since I last did this, but I decided to go for as returning to Tumblr felt like a bit of a small nostalgia trip for me, so why not get back to one of my favourite MHA fan writers for old times sake and beside, a lot has changed since last time so why not….

Well anyways, as for the idea I’m going with, I am thinking of going with a remake version of my first Match-Up of an My Hero Academia and Genshin Impact Match-Up, if that is cool with you?

Things That Remained The Same: Of course, my name is still Mason, my zodiac sign is still a Taurus, as well as I still consider myself as He/Him and Straight, along with me having dark brown hair and brown eyes. I also still consider myself as a full blown nerd towards the things I am interested in, although now I am a mix of being a Marvel and DC fan as of currently, I’m still a fan of My Hero Academia though I left the fan base altogether because “MHA Fanbase being MHA Fanbase,” currently I’m looking for different shows that could peak my interest (Such as Zom 100 and maybe RWBY, although that’s because of one RWBY character I like and ticked that the writers killed her off kinda got me into the whole “I like this character, now I’m obsessed,” that being Penny Polendina.) I still do Graphics Designing although I mostly post on Deviantart rather than Tumblr lately, I still have trust and communication with my autism although thankfully it isn’t as bad now of days, as I am a bit more confident with my social skills but mostly towards the people I considered as friends. As of currently, those are all the things I would say that mostly remained the same, as while I get curious with different series and all that, the basic tropes I have such as being a Nerd who loves to do Graphics Designing remained the same. (Oh, and I’m also still doing the best person I can be, though now there are times when I questioned about the goal, but I still follow it as I believed it’s the right thing to do.)

Things That Changed: Alright, now we are getting to the nitty gritty on the things I considered to be pretty changed, I retook the MBTI Personality quiz and I ended up getting a mix of ISFP and ESFP due to the “E” and “I” being 50/50, and while I consider myself more as a ESFP lately, it could depend on my mood depending on the day. I unfortunately shrink down to being a 6’2, I’m planning on trying to get back to doing Voice Acting though I am planning on getting my main PC fixed before I pick up the prices for the plan, while I’m using my laptop to do the graphics designing while I’m waiting til I get the computer fixed up, as well as taking a similar path to trying to get back to writing. I’ve also been watching a lot of Instagram Reels just for laughs, as well as opening a new Instagram account for my graphics designing uploads, as well as moving to a new Photo Editing engine with more features that helped improve on the way I work on my Profiles and Thumbnails. I am also currently doing a bit more hard work to lose some weight, as someone I know personally ended up getting health issues and I didn’t wanna become like him, so I’m trying to be more active and trying to eat a bit more healthy, though it’s hard since I’m someone who likes food in general. And lastly, I am actually planning on growing out my hair to bring out more style to it, with a hairstyle similar to Diluc’s ponytail from Genshin Impact being my go to style if I reach to my satisfied length and width.

Overall, I think that is all the info I have for this one, this might be my biggest info dump I have ever given, as there are some that remained the same along with new things added and somethings changing in my life. I hope you enjoy and remember that you’re always a beautiful on the inside and outside!

Hi Mason! It's good to hear form you again. Getting an updated mutchup is something I think more people should do. Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchups!

In My Hero Academia, I match you with...

The first matchup change. Although Uraraka would still be a close second, I think Tsuyu would better match you now.

I see Tsuyu as someone who would be surprisingly good at voice acting. It’s not so much that she can do lots of really different voices but she’s passionate and really good at putting emotion into her voice.

Enjoys working out with you. She always finds it more enjoyable when she’s got someone with her. That way they can hype her up and she can hype them up.

Very supportive of your efforts in trying to be the best person you can. Whenever you have moments of doubt, she’ll listen to your worries and give you her honest opinion.

Tsuyu is a firm believer that everyone should be the best person they can be. And she’ll do whatever she can do to support you in that.

Absolutely has one of your graphic designs as her phone’s lock screen. She likes how it looks, as well as how it reminds her of you.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Yes, both of your matchups have changed! Collei is pretty similar to Amber so there not a while lot of difference in your relationship.

The main change is that Collei is significantly more reserved than Amber. While she opens up around people she knows, she’s pretty quiet around those she doesn’t know well.

You can both work on your communication problems and social skills together.

Modern au Collei definitely watches anime. I can see her as a fan of classic shows like Sailor Moon but she would also be into newer shows like RWBY.

Sends you so many Instagram reels. She’s on there all the time and loves watching anything you send to her.

Really good at knowing dietary tips and tricks so Collei is definitely the person to go to for information about eating healthier. If she’s not sure about something, she’ll ask Tighnari, who is sure to know the exact benefits of almost any kind of plant or animal you could ask about.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #tsuyu asui #genshin impact #collei

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crispywisp · 3 years

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portraits i drew for my watcher in poe2 deadfire for personal in-game use, originally made around 2018, i just never uploaded the revamped versions here

#rendering these portraits took out at least 10 years off my lifespan lol #but it was so worth it just to see my character's face in every convo #since my old hard drive broke i lost the original work files with all the layers and shit for these portraits ;_;#i thankfully uploaded these on my deviantart account so this is all i have left of them #im thinking of replaying poe2 and reorganizing my mods (i think almost every mod i have is outdated lol)#i gotta prioritize finishing the ykz series tho X_X #my art #the wisp whispers #oc

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leftwriteb · 6 years

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Retail Tales [Part 2] - When Nintendo Fans Turned Detective On Me

In the run up to the release of the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Nintendo fans were working themselves up into such a state that it was almost dangerous. A few days before the game was due to be released, the stock arrived at our store. Thinking nothing of it and eagerly awaiting the chance to play it in a WiiU I had borrowed from my brother for no other reason, I posted a little tease in anticipation of the game on my Instagram. What a mistake that was.

As you can see from the photo above, it was a pretty harmless image. From the attached caption on my post you’d assume it was fairly obvious I hadn’t acquired a copy myself and was simply eagerly waiting for those last few days to tick by so I could pick up from where I’d left off at the event I’d been lucky enough to attend a few months prior. I, like so many others, could not wait to see more of Breath of the Wild.

Except, to those without the right context, this post could have been (and indeed was) misconstrued to the point where you might think I’d acquired a copy early. I still argue it’s unlikely, but you could see how someone could make that mistake. As I left for my lunch break at work that day I had no idea how many people would assume exactly that, and how quickly the post would explode and circulate. I came back from my lunch to find over 100 notifications. Nintendo fanatics had found me.

At the time of the post, as well as at the time of writing, I was working at a videogames store and understandably our stock for the game had arrived a few days earlier to ensure delivery upon release and so we could allocate our preorders with time to spare. Staring at the stacks of games on Switch and WiiU, I could feel the excitement getting to me. What was the harm in posting a little photo to help try and ease that enthusiasm? Well let’s look at what happened in the course of a few hours and then the few days that followed. Naturally, most of the comments and notifications were tied to the Instagram post itself.

Things started off nice enough: a few messages from fans just as excited as myself. Nicer still was a friend request from some other Nintendo fan. Then you have the understandable enquiries about where I’d got the game from, this being maybe three days before the game was supposed to be on store shelves. Then, as you can see, things started to be cranked up a notch. Fans, if you want to call them that anyway, began asking me to use the WiiU disc I supposedly had in my possession to upload the files and game content online, allowing people to datamine and potentially pirate the game early. It’s not hugely surprising given the intense furore some people were getting into before the release, but what really struck me was how quickly these comments had surfaced. In only a matter of minutes someone had found my post and made the request.

And once the first ticket dump request came in, further requests followed. The same chap that had asked about where I’d apparently got a copy had followed things up to further stress the importance of helping them out. Before a third request had come in, a delightful chap had decided to go the route of name calling because I’d somehow angered him by not complying, despite my lack of comments altogether. While I deny the claims I’m a “moralfag”, he was right in that I wouldn’t have uploaded all the files even if I had the option to. Of course, this was followed up by a little damage control from another fan in an attempt not to dissuade me from helping them all out.

I chose not to comment on any of it. Perhaps it would have been easier just to set the record straight but, in the interest of both my job and my curiosity, I remained quiet. I wasn’t able to upload the files because I didn’t have the game yet. Even if I had, doing so would have been a huge mistake and would have meant stealing from my place of work. On top of that, if I had done so and gotten away with it I would have likely faced consequences from Nintendo because doing so would’ve been flagged so quickly. And, on top of all of this, I didn’t want to betray the team of developers and other staff who had worked so hard on the game. To have put years of time and effort into a project only to have all its secrets leaked early in such a seedy way, without the right context no less, would have been a huge disservice to them and gamers around the world.

But nope, it didn’t end there. I was never even considering doing what they had asked but when I served these fans a dead end, they decided to build the pressure further. As the Instagram well ran dry, I then received a good few messages on my Twitter profile like the one below.

Somehow this little post had ended up becoming a topic of discussion on 4Chan. This warning was arguably maybe a little overblown, I thought. It was a little weird to think that, out of everything, my little post had somehow gained traction online and there was very little more I could expect, as far as I could tell. The logical conclusion was that some fans were a little obsessive and with my Instagram and Twitter accounts both using the same handle, it didn’t exactly take a genius to find my Twitter profile. There were a few extra steps needed if they wanted to bombard me further and these were steps they evidently were happy to take.

Mulling it over, I’m pretty sure I figured out the path these fans took to message me elsewhere and while it’s not exactly tricky it is still a little alien to me that many people took time out of their day to try and get hold of me just in the slim chance I’d help them get access to a game only a few days early. My Twitter contained a link to what was the predecessor to this site; a Tumblr blog. This blog got a good handful of messages just like those previously, asking me to lend them a hand on their misguided adventure.

On this blog was a link to a social area that linked people to my usernames on various gaming platforms. Once they’d found this page, they than began messaging me on Xbox Live, PSN, Steam, DeviantArt and more. No matter what avenue was available, they made sure pretty much every account I had would have messages, requests and (in one instance anyway) slightly vulgar voice messages. Call it passion, obsession or toxicity, it was all a little weird. Thankfully there was some positivity sprinkled within there too!

By the end of it all I’d amassed around 120 notifications across various platforms. Most of which were in the space of the first few hours but the odd one would pop up in the remaining days before the release. This, of course, doesn’t include any other areas I don’t know about; I never investigated 4chan and, for all I know, talk of it may well have spread to Reddit or NeoGaf forums as well. I don’t quite know the extent of how far it spread other than the information available to me and maybe I don’t want to know.

The release of the game came and went and the whole thing slipped to the wayside, but it was an eye-opening moment and one that’s stayed with me since. Random people across the globe effectively stalked me, in a way. Bizzare.

So there you have it. In the space of a few hours I’d had lord knows how many strangers bombard me with messages and demands, all because they had wrongly assumed something. In an age where reviewers and developers are bombarded with harassment, it’s easy to see how something as little as this can spread, let alone something far more large in scale and scope. It’s interesting really given that it’s hard to tell what motives were in play; greed, intrigue, jealously, excitement, or something else. All I know is that some Nintendo fans and Zelda fans don’t mind turning detective if it means they might get their hands on the tiniest slithers of a Nintendo product early. Nice try, folks. It’s a good thing I never said anything when Nintendo let us buy their last Super Smash Bros. game early back in 2014. Sitting in college playing that before it was released sure was fun…

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caiiouts-blog · 7 years

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BEWARE DANGEROUS DEVIANTART USER

! ! ! !

please do not go out and harass the people in this journal. they've decided to leave deviantART for the time being, and could return as a better person.

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☆ . ☆ . ☆

hello! it's dazai typing this out and I just wanted to let you know that I only felt this was necessary to bring to peoples attention due to the current treatment that has been received over the past few weeks. this is my side of what happened! cass herself has made her side of the story (and it's quite different) and it will be featured at the bottom of the journal.

☆ . ☆ . ☆

----

rylands accounts

(primary) blackbear666 deadmp3 poacherss

(secondary) hellisten autisticgod wolfga-ng prorobloxplayer ashfurrs

Dazai's Version:

Ryland has been an almost extreme experience for me, his unruly behaviour getting more and more out of hand throughout the three years i've known him. he would pretend to be my friend (according to him) out of "pity" (despite feeling no sympathy) for me yet continued to trash-talk me to his ex and a few others, even during while i was venting to him. he's laughed BOTH times my girlfriends left me, picking on me during times like this while PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND.

he's leaked my "deadname" to his ex, told secrets about his exes in a malicious manner, promoted teasing of them and he even claimed to have never loved his ex during the last relationship they had together, taking every moment he could to hurt him. he told me that he purposefully put my main kin on his kin list just to get with me because his ex suggested it.. This is a petty way to "get back" at someone imho

around the time he would pick on me with his ex, he created a callout on me claiming things that i was "a fake tranny," and that i "never payed for my commissions," due to me taking my time to pay $18.00 USD despite having payed off around 5-10 artists at the time. due to the way he pressured me I had to put the other commission on hold, cancel his and pay another artist off just to feel safe about the whole situation. Thankfully in the end the commission problems were sorted out.

** in a call, he mentioned that it was (by memory) "silly of him to have done that, and that he understands that I was trying to pay off the larger thing first."

>> I also have the original callout he made on me saved, if anyone would be interested in seeing it. <<

during this time i felt at unease, I noted him mentioning how i was feeling (i was crying, shaking, bloody anxious, etc.) and at this point i wanted to make another account just to get rid of this backlash. i made the mistake of uploading my main character to my new toyhouse which linked to my new account and he used that to comment on my toyhouse AND my deviantart profile with this comment:

let me explain the situation in that comment!

1.) i called him a psychopath lol

2.) i blocked his boyfriend (ex) on my new account (that i avoided showing anyone) in hopes i could have a fresh start. me blocking his boyfriend caused no harm to him, as we apparently were not mutual.

3.) his boyfriend was trying to avoid mentioning that he had shown me his vent account, leading ryland (kaspur) to believe that I was the one that shared his vent account. he later found out that he infact was wrong, and mad enough at his boyfriend to make him suicidal. I don't know the private details, this is what ryland himself told me. 4. he also used this whole "autism diagnosis" against me despite having been undiagnosed / re-evaluated on the diagnosis with his knowledge of such.

/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /

some time passed and things settled down, until he and his ex broke up. i mentioned something about his ex ( i think i was supporting his ex somehow? the comments are hidden / gone ) and he spammed my profile with 4-6 aggressive comments that he's removed recently, all that is left is us having a tense conversation. with this, we decided to add eachother on discord to figure out what kind of situation ryland had been left in, how his ex treated him and began to enjoy talking to eachother once more.

Time passed and we grew closer, eventually dating. It started out smoothly, we cared about eachother and wanted the best for eachother, but as time went on, teasing remarks began to feel more harmful and fights began to occur more often. Ryland would push my buttons, dig into my weaker side of myself (unintentionally or intentionally, i do not know) and it caused me to become very unhealthy. He was assuming how i felt about situations and tried to one-up me. He literally told me that "i dont rely on you for affection, dont rely on you for attention, dont rely on you for help" and how "I'll dedicate time to Cass, preserve every conversation I had with her," Due to this, I began to get very disconnected with myself and needed proper treatment for the situation I was in. he vented about me and how he "hated me" during our relationship. He even ASKED ME TO ABUSE HIM. LOOK AT THIS:

https://sta.sh/2ejxr4mb7l9?edit=1

and to add the icing on the cake, he would threaten to slit my wrists if I ignored him, and if it was meant to be some kind of sick joke, he made it sound very serious with the tone he used it in.

Can I just mention that.. if you ask someone to do something, it usually means they haven't done it, right? Not only this, but (while he was drunk) he was begging me to have sex with him, tried to pressure me into having sexual conversations with him because "I did with my other girlfriends" and wouldn't stop bringing it up during that night, it hurt me. And what hurts me more is that these conversations happened in a no longer existing groupchat meaning the most I can give you guys is my word.

Not to mention, cass' therapists have mentioned that ryland comes off to them as an abusive, controlling and sometimes even predatory person. One of them even referred Cass this document as something they feel connects with ryland:

/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /

For the past few weeks, ryland has been venting about me in group-chats and pm, as well as making very malicious status posts targeting (and name-dropping) both cass and i.

screenshots of his vents

- Ryland has yet to state what makes him believe I gas-lighted him and abused him, only claims these two titles. i'm still waiting for his reasoning behind these claims ***

- I'm not a Satanist, I do not have any beliefs in religious-related subjects, and never have been. I've questioned it, but in the end never went along with it

- "im more mature with situations like fights" ... that doesn't seem evident in the multiple times you have:

Spammed various people's profiles with hateful messages and deaththreats

Using a wide array of slurs (whore, nigga, cunt) against people

Making fun of their diagnosis's and coping methods, such as autism or age regression

- We decided to leave Ryland because he was making us unhealthy

- Ryland has NO RIGHT to assume what happened in my relationships, there was no pressure involved in any of my relationships

- The problems I 'pressured' him for were ones RELATING TO THE RELATIONSHIP. It was ideal for me to know the problems someone may have with me in hopes to change to make them comfortable and healthier.

*** this is the only thing he uses to back his claims.

"i talked to a therapist someone who KNOWS WHAT IT IS and what abuse is n shit"

/ / / / / / / / ☆ / / / / / / / /

This is a link of him harassing people, spamming people as well as dictating emotions..

extra information

Also, some texts he sent to cass which concerned me.

Cass's Version:

This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done ;_; because I have never done this to someone before and I hope I never do this again. He was my best friend and I cared for him. But I'm sick and tired of being harassed, name dropped, etc, just because I left him to better myself. I'm sick of him making me look like an awful person just because I left. He makes my mistakes look like the worst thing that has ever happened to him. He won't leave us alone and I don't want to be walked all over by him anymore, not again.

He manipulates the truth:

Last year, Ryland was so stressful to handle.

After I left him, he made a massive call out journal on me. Because I stopped being his friend. Let that sink in, I stopped being his friend. He called me his best friend, he even said to me that I was "better than Nichii" (now known as Dazai) and you know, you don't fucking attack your so called 'best friend' after they leave you, all I did was stop being his friend.

"Oh but he was your bestfriend! Why are you calling him out?!" He won't shut the fuck up about us, he won't leave us alone. He is so spiteful.

Even if Ryland was going through so much at that time, I needed to look after myself. I don't owe him my friendship. I DON'T owe him anything. I was also going through a hard time, I was being bullied at school but oh, I guess your problems were more important then my problems. I was dealing with my own shit, I didn't have to keep babying you because I was so special to you.

I know I don't owe you anything. I did tell him that I felt like I owed him something (I don't remember the exact thing I said) but even if I did say that I owed him something, I don't.

When I was his friend last year it stressed me so much, the counselors I went too could see how our friendship was hurting my mental health... it was just unhealthy what we were and I acted differently because it was affecting my mental health so much. They wanted me to leave him. He kept calling me 'perfect' and a lot of other things, it's been a year so I don't quite remember things clearly but that is one of the things that stuck with me. Everything he said to me made me feel like I had to be the perfect friend for him, I had to be like some sort of knight in shining armor. So I acted differently towards him. I let him walk all over me. I let him hurt me (unintentionally / intentionally?) just so I can be good enough for him.

He didn't force me to act differently, but it's the impact he had on me. I was so depressed, I had to be perfect. I had to be the best just for him. I couldn't do it.

Everyone around me was literally telling me to leave him INCLUDING my therapists, that really says something right? Everyone saw who he really was except me because I considered him my FRIEND.

So back to the massive call out post on me, because of the things he said about me on that call out are now the reason why I think I'm such an awful person,(and because I used to be bulliedl) I know I'm not. He demonized me. He made himself look like an angel. I did do stupid things out of emotion but he did way worse to me, he attacked me, he made himself look like he did nothing bad and I was just some evil person.

Sadly, I didn't screenshot / save anything about the journal (my friends have witnessed it and they all called it bullshit because everything he said about me was false and they are the people who truly know who I am) but I do have a comment which is still up on his old account which is basically all the things he said about me but not as bad.

https://comments.deviantart.com/4/39888493/4226447654

-He was previously known as Kaspur

Okay, first of all I did not leave him over a bee.

I left him because of how depressed he made me(he was tearing at my mental health unintentionally) and everyone(including therapists) told me to leave him. So, I did. I shouldn't of said "it will be okay" it was stupid of me to do, but I was panicking. HE WAS SPAMMING MY PAGE, HE WAS SPAMMING ME ON SKYPE, HE WOULDN'T STOP, WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSE TO DO?

I do not hurt people intentionally, I never want to hurt people. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't. He never knew me! He really should fucking stop assuming how people felt. He isn't right just because he says it, he never knew how I felt and he still does this to this very day. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW OTHERS FEEL.

You know what, I did leave him for a month because I needed personal space at that time I was not 'trying to get the fuck away from him'. He was unbelievably dependent on me and I couldn't handle it, I couldn't even handle myself, so how the hell was I suppose to handle him?

He made it seem like I made him be so 'attached' and so 'clingy'. I did nothing. I knew what I was to him but that doesn't mean shit. That doesn't mean I have to stay and be his friend. I am not obligated to be his friend just because he felt like that towards me. Leaving him doesn't make me a bad person.

"I told him i WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU"

He asked me to promise him that I would not leave him. That is unhealthy. I remember the day very clearly because it made me feel uneasy. I did say those things but I felt very very pressured into doing so. I mean, if someone who relied on you heavily asked you that, how would you react? "I can't promise you that I can stay forever/ I can't promise you I won't leave."

"when he gave his opinion about a friend coming back to me (she left me for 5 months and i didnt know why) I TOTALLY DIDNT LISTEN TO HIM! HIS OPINION DOESNT MATTER RIGHT?!!?"

How dare you assume my personal situation you barely knew anything about. I wasn't going to leave my best friend just because you told me too. She did not hurt me like how you hurt me.

Also, by the way, if your friend hurt/upset you and you vent about how you feel at that moment, that doesn't make it a fucking back stab. We all say things at the heat of the moment, and I suppose what Ryland did back then was 'heat of the moment' but it was a major overreaction. I remember he'd talk about it for months, he terrified me. You don't DEMONIZE someone you called your 'best friend' just because they leave you.

He also harassed me. He spammed my fucking profile. He still does this to people. I know he spammed his ex. I still have those screenshots. He used multiple accounts. He made 3 new accounts just to keep spamming me.

https://xxcasandraloverxx.deviantart.com/

http://xxcasandrasenpaixx.deviantart.com/

http://xxcasandrasuckedmexx.deviantart.com/

I was in a call with my best friend at that moment and I was crying my eyes out! He saw all the things they said about me he helped me hide the comments because there was so much.

Overall, he and his friends used 12 accounts just to spam me. Pathetic. Here's the accounts because I reported it:

(lol dazai was one of them xD abuse)

+ the fact that he used my real name to create three of these spam accounts made me feel absolutely terrible

If anyone wants proof of the spam, I'll gladly give it to you. I have it saved on my old phone.

This was last year but from what I and Dazai can tell, he has barely improved and has gotten worse. He STILL manipulates situations into something more 'evil' then what they really were.

Me and Dazai would call and play minecraft but we kept it from him because we didn't want to make him jealous, he was very jealous about me and Dazai being friends.

So we were all in a call together and after I went to bed, Dazai accidentally told him that we had been calling and playing minecraft and Ryland makes it out that this is one of the terrible things Dazai has done. He lied about playing minecraft with me.

In a journal he said this, "38. What happened? we dated. i got lied to three times. he made me look like the bad guy cus i was mad at him for lying. he left me. haha, so what was that mr "i love ryland" thnx 4 faking it"

He made you look like the bad guy? You made yourself look like the bad guy, you overreacted to him not telling you that we played minecraft together. Like, you lie yourself, you told me you lied about our friendship or whatever the fuck you mean't a few months ago. So... you can lie, but if we lie we're the worst person to have ever existed? Grow up. Just because you're 13 doesn't give you an excuse to act immature. Sure, it plays a roll because you're young but... you know what you do is bad and you STILL DO IT. You're nearly 14.

----

The counselors/therapists I've gone to ALL say he's manipulative and they all think he's a predator. I tell/show them what he has said to me and that's what they have all said. All (I'm not exaggerating) of the therapists don't even believe he is 13 because of the way he acts. My recent therapist thinks what he did to me was a "power and control thing" and she said he is very manipulative.

She read them out loud to me and I was shocked because some of them were spot on for example: Minimize/deny/blame

The descriptions under the headlines are just examples of what someone could do.

He DEFINITELY minimizes the things he has done wrong since he's done it with me(you can see it up there), he did it with Dazai (look at his side of the story) and I'm sure he does it with everyone who wrongs him.

-He knows he does bad things but, he never changes? He told me he didn't want to change.

-He blamed the things he did to Dazai on his ex.

I didn't want to believe any of it, he was my friend. I didn't want to believe he was manipulative. I was ignorant because I was blinded by the fact that he was my friend. I know he isn't intentionally manipulative, or at least, I hope he isn't intentionally manipulative. But IT'S HIS PERSONALITY. Dazai KNOWS HIM. You don't want to see the bad in your friend, ya know? You support your friends. Now that I left him for good and I'm with healthier people, I can finally see who he really is and I regret supporting him.

---

I'll repeat this: He is sometimes unintentionally manipulative but he does have control over what he does.

He told me things like this multiple times:

but as soon as I want too, he pulls stuff like this:

He begged me, I don't want to show it all because it fucks me up but if I really have too I will. I asked him to not beg me but he still kept begging!

That really pressured me. It made me feel like shit. It made me feel so guilty for leaving you which shouldn't happen.

He lied to me saying it was okay, and then he tried to manipulate me into staying with him. Those screenshots really explain themselves. I nearly stayed too despite it putting SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME, I was crying so much, it hurt my chest, I was about to have a panic attack, it was awful.

I didn't stay because Dazai helped me through it, and I'm glad I didn't stay because our friendship was fucking me up.

One time he called me selfish for trying to stop him from committing suicide(he apologized but that isn't the point of this) and this is what my friend said about it:

-------

Ryland checks up on us.

We check up on him. I'm not going to lie, I do check up on him. He's out to get us. He makes me so anxious. I'm scared he's going to ruin my reputation like he did with me last year! and with so many people just because they leave him or because they 'gaslight/manipulate him'. DAZAI IS NOT MANIPULATIVE. Dazai is no where NEAR manipulative! Dazai is honestly the kindest soul I've ever met. He has helped me and my friend Sky through a lot, and I'm really glad I met such a kind person like him. Many other people can say the same and it's really fucking weird how only one person on earth thinks differently about both of us!

You don't know us. You're just really fucking upset because me and him are friends and you sure love to try to get back at us for enjoying each others company. How malicious.

We have our heads up OUR ASSES? how fucking hilarious.

HOW DO YOU NOT SEE HOW MANIPULATIVE YOU ARE, IS YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU CAN'T GET OUT?

You treated DAZAI LIKE SHIT.

You manipulated me. You pressured me. You made a call out on me BECAUSE I STOPPED BEING YOUR FRIEND. You've done HORRIBLE stuff to me, Dazai and your other 'abusive' ex.(more on that later) If anything, calling me a bitch is a compliment. Thank you. YOU'RE TOXIC.

Dazai is not manipulative, that is not who he is. You fucking told me he was manipulating me but you have no proof? I know why Dazai acted the way he did and what he did to you isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Sure, he did stupid things but you make it out like it's the worst fucking thing he's ever done in his life. NOBODY deserves to be demonized for minor / HUMAN mistakes. You demonize the living shit out of people just because they leave you.

proof who? He's manipulating me because I... think he's a good person? He does not treat me like how you treated me.

I'm sure Dazai mentioned this in his side of the story so I'm going to say this: He acted differently around you because of how awfully you treated him, he was not himself and he wanted to leave. You do NOT know Dazai. It is not an excuse, but it is the impact you had on him. You made him unhealthy by the way you treated him, intentionally or not, you still did and you fucking knew you were treating him poorly. You hint it yourself in a meme journal you wrote here;

"49. What do you regret: reacting the way i did

50. Why? cus i would be with the person i love right now lol?"

SO YOU MUST KNOW YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

And you know what Ryland? You're not my second choice, your not even my last choice! I'll never pick you! Not anymore at least. You always wanted to one up Dazai! You made me feel so freaking pressured to leave him just because you wanted to be better then him. I felt like I had to tell you that 'you're better' and other things just to comfort you. You depended on me and I felt like there was no other option, I didn't know what to say that would make you feel better! Sure, it might've not been your intention to do that but you still made me feel very pressured.

"i will always be that friend u have in the background while u r playing doll with ur other friends but when they leave you, you come to me"

EXCUSE ME? E X C U S E M E? YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW I FELT ABOUT YOU. STOP FUCKING ASSUMING HOW I FELT TOWARDS YOU. I have NEVER came back to you when my friends leave me. You're fucking gross, how DARE YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. That is not who I am. I try my best to talk to EVERYONE even when I am facing my own problems. STOP TRYING TO BE BETTER THEN MY FRIENDS. YOU'RE NOT BETTER THEN THEM. You are probably THE WORST friend I've EVER HAD. Not even the friends I had petty childhood fights with treat me like that! and that's saying a lot.

AND JUST IN CASE HE MENTIONS THIS I'LL JUST SAY IT: I swear to god if you mention how "I left that one friend because I was jealous" yeah, I did. I don't want to get into detail because it is irrelevant but I didn't want to hurt her anymore then I have, I wasn't handling myself well and so I left her. You even told me to leave her. I care a lot about her still and I know for a fact I won't act the way I did again. I've learnt from my mistake. You don't know the full story between me and her. Yeah I told you 'bits' and 'pieces' but you don't know how we felt. So just fuck off before you mention it, you really really love to assume things so I wouldn't be surprised if he mentions this situation with some diluted bullshit.

You're disgusting Ryland for assuming I'd do that. I don't know how I supported and even loved someone like you.

You are not fucking mature when it comes to fights stop trying to make yourself this fucking angel, you're the most immature 13 year old I've ever met. My brothers your age too and he thinks your really immature. You make NO SENSE.

You also do not know how I handle my friends either, so like, just fuck off? I'm sorry that my mental health / care for the other person is important to me? NOT EVERYBODY ACTS LIKE YOU RYLAND. You made me so FUCKING DEPRESSED and you couldn't fix that. You can't fix it. I've always felt like that around you. Just because I leave someone does not mean they were worthless to me. So shut the fuck up, seriously. You do not know how me and Dazai handle things, we handle our situations very differently then yours, just saying.

I'll repeat this again; I do not owe you my friendship. No matter how depressed, weak, whatever you feel, I don't have to be your friend.

I really should not have come back to you all those 4 times I felt bad. I knew you were dependent on me that is why I kept coming back. I couldn't say no to you and I don't know why. I enjoyed our friendship of course, but there were more negatives in our friendship then positives. You said it in a bunch of statuses before, how you can't function without me and other things about me. I got those screen shoted.

But, like you said to me:

My kindness does blind me. I gave you the benefit of the doubt all this time. I thought you were a good person despite you proving it otherwise constantly.

---

Stop assuming how I felt throughout our friendship.

Stop assuming how I handle my friendships.

I handle situations differently to yours so SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Stop fucking assuming how I feel! Just because I tell you something doesn't mean it's the whole story! You are malicious.

I don't like you.

I want you to get the fuck away from me, I want you to shut the fuck up about me, I never want to be in contact with you AGAIN. I'll never ever come back to you like I have stupidly done those 4 times, I did it because I cared about you but fuck that. You obviously never cared about me since you treat me like shit after I leave. You're so fucking spiteful and full of revenge it'd be healthier if you just move on and learn from your mistakes. You almost never do.

You CONSTANTLY complain about things you can fix about yourself, I CAN'T HELP YOU WHEN ALL YOU DO IS WHINE AND NOT WANT TO CHANGE.

I'm also reconsidering the situation with your ex Sage, because I know now that you make issues look more sinister then they really are. I know he did some stupid shit, but were they really that fucking terrible? I'd honestly like to hear his side of the story since we never got to hear it.

If what me and Dazai did was bad, the things he's done to us is worse.

I'm done with you Ryland.

#callout #deviantart #beware

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rosekun25 · 5 years

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hey! so this is super random but i randomly remembered religously reading your kh fanfics on deviant art when i use to be obsessed w riku/xion and i wonder what happened to you but im glad to find your here! do u still write fanfics n stuff???

Dear Anon,

Yes it is me!! :) Thank you for remembering!!! I had such a great time writing all of those fanfictions. I still do write and I have a Rokunami Fanfiction on Fanfiction.net. It’s called Angel and I wouldn't recommend reading it if you are sensitive to things. I really was thinking about Rewriting “All I know, A Rokunami story.” I had a super great plot written out for it and everything :) Currently working on a Rion fanfic as well.

Now I am going to tell you about why I left.

Unfortunately, I was only twelve when I wrote all of those fanfics, I’m sure most people would realize that as soon as they read them. They also contained lemons and I probably shouldnt have gotten into those at such an early age. But that’s what happens when you lock your kid up all day and they only have a computer.

Now, what happened was I had a few friends I would roleplay with. I uploaded a picture of an Anime girl I had found online and reposted it. I thought it would be cool to give them a visual of what my character would look like, I didn't know how to draw at all.

Keep in mind I was 12 and I had no idea what art theft was and I actually remember writing in the description that I did not own that image.

Well, needless to say, they did not care.

Every day I got harassing messages and people reported my fanfics and the fanfics of all of my friends for “Mature content” Even though most of them had the Mature label on them they were still reported and taken down. They were threads about how immature I was and how the word would be such a better place without me. They called me a pedophile, even though I was only 12. They found my Youtube account and even got these messages on facebook. Most of it was from a group of people who claimed they were “Admins of Deviantart.” Which was bullshit.

Then since most of the Characters in my Kingdom Hearts fanfics were under 18 they tried to get my account taken down for “child porn”. Which was utter bullshit. As fictional characters do not exist these laws do not apply to them. Thankfully the admins of Deviantart realized this and my account was spared.

But the damage had already been done.

Most of the chapters for my stories had been taken down, also the ones that were left were riddled with hateful comments telling me to commit suicide and how my writing was garbage. I didn't mind those.

I eventually blocked all of their accounts and I remember sitting down with my friends and picking up all of the pieces. There was so much left to do. Years of fanfics had been deleted and I didn't know what to do.

The worst part was the people who harassed me had other accounts and would still come to bother me. I eventually blocked everyone who called me so much as an idiot. I didn't know what else to do. People who had heard about this stopped replying to my messages. I couldn't even comment on art without somebody replying telling me I had no talent.

The real owners of Deviantart stepped up and said they were “looking into this.” As I hadn't been the only one who reported this harassment. I had gotten a message from somebody who asked me what happened and told me to give her the names of everyone who claimed they were part of this group and she would look into it. But that was all I ever heard.

So I gave all of my close friends my facebook account, packed up all of the fanfics I could salvage and left.

I do want to say this wasn't about art theft. They knew I was only 12. They did. They teased me about it all of the time. Nobody thought to sit down and tell me why this wasn't okay. Because this wasn't about art theft. This was about a group of losers yes losers. With no lives who had nothing better to do than torment a twelve-year-old girl and pretend it was in the name of art justice literally because they could. Yes, I did something bad but if it had been about art theft they would have left me alone after I deleted those photos and told me why it was wrong and explained in a way a 12-year-old would understand.

But like I said, it wasn't about art theft. It was about those terrible people finding someone they could bully and get away with bullying. I remember writing in a journal entry about how if we met in different circumstances we could have been friends and that is still 100% true.

Anyway, Like I said, I still write fanfictions and you can find my latest one on Fanfiction.net under the username Rosekun25 :). Come talk sometime too :) I’ll make some tea.

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daneeboundblog · 7 years

Text

Update

So this post in gonna go up on DeviantArt, Tumblr and on Google+, the latter of which will be linked from Twitter to tell you what’s gonna be changing on all my SM Sites in the future

Now, since I began working full-time again I’ve been kinda neglecting some of my Sites on the internet recently.

Particularly DeviantArt – on which I’ve posted several translated Issues of the Web Comic Pillow Talk, from my Friends Luiz from Brazil and Matthew from the U.K. – and the Double Cherry Community on Google+, which is all but dead now :(, and the Double Cherry YouTube Channel, which I had no concrete plans for, whatsoever.

I didn’t have much time to do all of this, because of my job, my Let’s Channel on YouTube, doing some tinkering on my new Computer, and spending the little free time I had left on playing some games (‘cuz nobody likes the man burning out)

However, since I’m about to leave the old Office Job (and because it’s the new year) I’m making some changes to my Online presence, that should give me more flexibility and all these outlets some purpose

1st, Google+ (general)

my Google+ Profile, and to you on Google+ reading this, yes I am still alive, but because of the above mentioned circumstances, I haven’t found any time to do anything on G+. not too mention, that on my old Computer (you know the Lenovo H330 with the Pentium G620 and the Intel integrated Graphics that served my for over 6 years?) there was eventually a limit to how many Tabs in a Web Browser I could have open before the whole program slow to a crawl (that was an issue on both Chrome and Firefox).

And since I wasn’t expecting to do any major upgrades to my Computer up until last year I’ve been neglecting G+ in general for a while.

The good news is, now my new rig is (almost) ready to rock, (with an i5 3550, a GeForce 1050 Ti and 16 GB of DDR3 RAM,) I can now load all the Websites I want, with the only bottleneck being my Internet Speed (at least until Web 3.1 comes along)

With that said, in future I like to have my G+ Profile to be an extended arm of my Twitter, so whatever goes on Twitter also goes on Google+, and if I’m running out of Space on Twitter, I’ll post it on Google+ and link to it on Twitter

And speaking of Twitter…

2nd, Google+ Community

the Double Cherry Community on Google+ will be closing. I opened it up so that people can share anything related to Video Games, be it news, reviews and general fan-made stuff and have it all in one place.

That ended up not working out though, since after 6 months of the Community’s existence, literally I and Frieder were the only ones posting to it I lost its meaning really quickly.

And because I cannot figure out a meaningful way to use Google+’s Community feature moving forward, I opted into the termination of the Community

3rd, Twitter

I’m currently using two Twitter Account, one for all my personal Stuff and one, exclusively for my YouTube Channel (as in notifications of newly uploaded Videos a-a-a-a-a-a-and nothing else).

Now the Issue is that I (almost) exclusively tweet in English on my personal Twitter,

however, I do YouTube Videos in German, so the one Twitter Handle linked to it ended up underutilized.

So, with the second Twitter Handle, I plan on using it as a quote unquote „German“ Version of my personal one, while also allowing me to tweet some stuff that wouldn’t particularly apply to someone who only speaks English (in addition to it being the one Twitter Handle my YouTube Channel autotweets new Uploads to).

That’ll involve however the change of the Twitter Handles from @DaneeBound and @DaneeBound_CHA to something more appropriate.

4th, DeviantArt

To some this might be new, since – well – I haven’t told you on G+ over there, and on Twitter I only posted something about it twice (I think), but up until a few months ago, I regularly did German Translations of the Web Comic „Pillow Talk“ from Luiz (BR) and Matthew (UK), and I’m planning to do more of them in the future.

This Project has been put on hold for (again) the above mentioned reasons, as translating something from one language to another is not as easy as it seems. Because there is more to it than just translating words or sentences. In some cases, a metaphor that may work in English, doesn’t work at all in German. For example in Issue 32 of Pillow Talk, the Character is summoning a Gardevoir to use the Move Flash to light up a dark cave. This was a play on a particular meme that circulated around that time, where people would draw Gardevoir using Flash in a Battle, and that Gardevoir revealing her private sections to the opposing Pokémon. Now in Luiz’s take on it the Gardevoir actually revealed a Flash Light that was bound to their leg.

While this is a good Metaphor in English, when you translate it directly to German, you lose the Joke, because the Move Flash is strangely called „Blitz“ in German (lit. Lightning or the Snap of a Camera) and the German Word for Flash Light is „Taschenlampe“ (lit. Pocket Lamp).

While in the example I just mentioned, I couldn’t really do anything about it, if there is a way to not have the joke lost in translation, and if I don’t know it myself, I have to look through a Thesaurus, which takes a lotta time.

Thankfully in the near future I should have more time to, hopefully regularly, update this Project

If you haven’t seen the series yet, go to https://tapastic.com/episode/563435 for the latest issue in celebration of Final Fantasy XV, and with a cameo from yours truly

The Translation Project meanwhile you find on DaneeBound.Deviantart.com .

5th, YouTube

now, for the three of you that regularly watch my Videos on YouTube, you may have noticed that, right now I only have 4 active Projects (down from the 8 I had at the beginning of 2016)

Reason being, that (again) I had actual work to do after I began working full-time again, so having less projects to work on gives me more time to focus on my Day Job, without begging my superiors to use the one PC that is connected to the internet in the office every lunch break, because the day earlier I couldn’t finish an upload of a video or the Video Rendering finished after I had already gone to Bed (Curse you, Pentium G620) and I had to be out and about at 6 AM, with no guarantee that if I had set up the upload process before I had to leave for work that my mum would leave the Computer on like I always write on a sheet of paper to leave on my desk before I had to go.

Now in the last month I got a new PC and I got a bunch of new Hardware that should address some of these issues.

My new Rig is equipped with an Intel Core i5 3550 (a little bit older, but still competitive with newer Quad Cores, since the improvements from Generation to Generation of Intel’s Core Series CPUs have been negligible at best), a GeForce GTX 1050 Ti, which can run almost anything at 1080p and 60FPS that I threw at it and 16 GB of DDR3 RAM with room for an upgrade to 32 GB, should I need it (also in the mix are 2 1 TB HDDs, the first one’s for the OS and all Programs, the second one’s for all the Games).

It’s not perfect, The PSU is a bit noisy and Cable Management is pretty much non-existent. But I’ll plan on having those issues resolved the coming weeks.

In terms of Video Editing, my new Rig smashed my old one in pretty much every step. Most notably, whereas rendering a 25 min Video may have taken up to an hour and a half on the old Computer, the new one is done after just 10 minutes (that’s what upgrading from a Pentium to an i5 with a GTX 1050 Ti can do to you)

So with all that said, expect to see more Content on my Channel in the future. I am already planning to bring some big heavy hitters old and new, especially with the Nintendo Switch coming in Spring

5th and a half, Double Cherry on YouTube

Now this is a weird one for me. The Double Cherry YouTube Channel is a joint-Venture between me and my friend Dave to post some random Videos on that we really wanted to make, but didn’t really sit well with the Content of either our Channels.

The Name Double Cherry was also chosen, because I planned to integrate it somehow into the Double Cherry Community on Google+, but since I’m no longer doing Community Stuff on G+, that plan fell through.

Now I haven’t talked to Dave about this yet (in fact he’s seems to have been so busy lately that he even had to neglect his personal Channel) but one particular Video I did a while back for this Channel has been picking up a lotta Steam over the course of the last year. It was a GameXplain style Comparision Video where I compared the performance of two Versions of Minecraft (original Java Version and the Windows 10 Version) on my old rig (the one with the Pentium G620 and no discreet Video Card)

basically that Video showed, that the Windows 10 Version of Minecraft ran a lot better on my old Computer than the Java-based Original. I however didn’t run any special Benchmarking Software back then, I just let the very clearly visible Framerate Drops speak for themselves. And that Video in particular got a lot of views and many people were showing up in the comments giving their two Cents (you could even argue that that Video did better than all of my 1000+ Videos on the Let’s Play Channel combined).

I have no concrete plans laid out for Double Cherry’s future, but that particular Video may steer the wheel quite a bit. I just need to talk to Dave about it whenever get the chance to.

And that’s about it then. Thank you for your attention, and I see you again in 2017.

Happy (late) new Year

DaneeBound

#DaneeBound #Update

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