#i spent way too much time drawing this for a shitpost help me
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#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#i spent way too much time drawing this for a shitpost help me#i could have probably thought of a better caption but the original was funny enough
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HOW DO YOU DRAW SO QUICKLY AGH
I swear every time I turn around you’ve posted another masterpiece I’m jealous you can draw so fast it takes me like 3 days at least for a piece lol
AHH i keep being asked this and im flattered yall think this?? ill take a bit to explain the choices that help with my speed and circumstantial stuff that helps a lot
obligatory YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THINGS FAST taking your time is good!! i just get bored easily so i like being done with things and moving on, but i'm very aware of the fact that social media rewards this and punishes inconsistency so i get it lol
long ass ramble under the cut lol
okay so things i deliberately do to draw fast-
i specifically have 2 distinct styles because i constantly have too many ideas, and most of them don't need to be several hour long illustrations so i try to pick my battles and go for a simpler more expressive style for shitposts/memes/etc and reserve my more detailed style for ideas that actually benefit from having that extra time and effort. ofc this won't work for everyone but i tend to have 50 styles at any given moment anyway so giving myself the freedom to switch between them has been really nice
not necessarily deliberate??? but theres no perfectionism in this house, which helps a lot so i don't spend ages fussing over minute details (im a perfectionist at heart but a lazy one LOL)
giving myself time deadlines is also really helpful, like "i have to finish the lineart im the next half an hour" has been really good for getting me to focus and get things done, even if i don't make the 'deadline'. i think generally being conscious of how i use my time is good
okay so circumstantial (?) things-
ALSO USE REFERENCES they help a lot!!! stumbling around trying to figure things out on your own is time consuming, don't be scared of using references!
this isn't a speed thing but i think it's important to note that i spend like ALL my free time drawing, probably to a ridiculous degree. i draw during my work break, i draw after work, on the weekend, speed is nothing in the face of time lol. im usually tired after work but im also stubborn so i try to push through and draw anyway (50/50 chance it works and i get something done or i just sit there in a daze wishing i was asleep LOL)
im also a dumbass who takes on way too much, i have a whole buncha zines and commissions constantly at all times cause i can never say no so i kinda just HAVE to be fast to keep up with everything. i don't recommend it but it's a thing ashdjfj
i also used to be on tiktok and for some god forsaken reason i spent like a solid few months consistently posting 3 times per day which burnt me out SO fast and i absolutely don't recommend but it definitely required speed lol
i will also say that as i draw more and feel more comfortable in my art it comes to me a lot more naturally, and i'm able to make decisions on the fly a lot easier
also okay so starr lore my dad used to be really against me drawing so i would have to sneak onto the computer when he was out of the house hahaha, this gave me anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hours per day to do whatever i wanted, so i had to quickly adapt to that and be super fast if i ever wanted to get anything done
again speed isnt the be all end all of anything, tbh most of this is just my brain working in weird ways that prefers the quicker pace so please don't compare yourself!!
okay long ass ramble over thanks for reading <3333
#ask box#wow that was long hahaha#i don't think this is particularly helpful so maybe don't take it as advice but it's an explanation#if you take anything from this tho please let it be that we all have different life circumstances#so don't compare yourself >:0
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So, pack up your car, put a hand on your heart
Say whatever you feel, be wherever you are
We ain't angry at you, love
You're the greatest thing we've lost
Danny's memory of Mike being at his graduation in LW ch. 16 was so transformative for me for NO reason.... ANYWAY
Context for the first image is Danny packing for college and saying bye to the Fazgang... I realize that cutting the rest of the images left that out. And by proxy the second one is Mike's appearance at his graduation!
These were supposed to be the ending parts to a longer comic-looking part that included the rest of the chorus of the song, but I hated it so much!!! You can literally tell that I spent so much more time on the second part but it's the one that's more emotional anyway??? So I'm ok with it lol
On a wayyyy more personal note my little journey drawing and writing for these two has been so so so healing for me. I just moved up to University and dealing with that has been as tough as it probably is for everyone else, but this has become my outlet for it I guess! Mike just being The Way He Is helps a lot!! Especially the way he treats Danny and Max in canon. I guess I imprinted on Danny because he's technically the series' everyman, but his anxiety and gentleness is something I relate to. I, too, was once a sixteen-year-old trying to hold down a job in food service... I'm really glad I came back to this series when I did. I would re-read Devil's Spine every few months as a pick-me-up bc I love Mike in that fic, but coming back and re-reading the series as a whole (and as an adult with a better reading comprehension lmao) gave me a new appreciation for the rest of the cast, too, and especially Danny obviously. My appreciation for the whole series and for its wonderful author knows no bounds!!!!! I can't put into words how much love I have in my (albeit small) being that is directed at KGA and @charlieslowartsies; I have to stim it all out but you can't see that, so I have to try words anyway 😭
HEY. Just because I wrote this big-ass confession or whatever doesn't mean I'm done with making content for the KGA!!!! I have a to-do list and by god I will do maybe at least half of it!! I just wanted to put my personal shit on the Really Good artwork instead of the shitposts that are coming down the pipeline ;P
[Seriously, the LOML]
#treewords#knight guard au#kga#michael schmidt#danny fitzgerald#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#I'M SORRY FOR THE ACTUAL MIDNIGHT TAG OMG#PLS GET SLEEP IF U NEED IT AAAA#hope everything is ok on your end <3#mossarts
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The more I use this site the more lonely I feel
I have dozens of friends and partners, yet I still check here every morning, but why?
It used to be to give validation as a very complex queer person, and I found that in art, people drawing characters with my body, saying they're valid as they are.
There's so much doom and gloom that I can't do anything about. I can barely walk most daysThe artists that post queer art of seldom seen or represented body types just aren't around. I follow some hundred or more artists that are just not here. And the ones that are never want to talk, no one really wants to talk, but I don't want to be in an insular bubble.
I guess I don't or never did get Tumblr culture or social media in general. I used to find really good conversation on 4Chan about really obscure but deep things but that was 8+ years ago now. I don't really want to spend my time on just insulated cliquey discord servers, but it seems that's all I'm good at. Even the partners I met on 4chan don't go there anymore and I don't either for that matter. So I really do feel lost at sea.
Facebook is addictive and fun but the only time there's leftists to shitpost with and have fun is when there's an election cycle and then they go back into a depression hibernation till the next major election. I don't physically have it in me for activism anymore. I used to spend hours every day fighting misinformation and tearing up bad opinions, trying to stop leftists from playing into the hands of literal Nazis, but no, they wanted to be self righteous and feel good all while not helping anyone but their own ego. Now we have all this. All these things I'd desperately spent half a life time warning about. I know what I did was a drop in the bucket but I'd hoped I'd inspired people to take action too, I'd hoped I was one of millions of other people with similar sentiments. I wanted to connect with people to make a better future, but it really feels the worst future we'd feared came and exactly the way we'd feared.
Now I'm just, here, seeing all those broken pieces, people isolated, I feel lonely in a way I can't describe. Even if someone writes about something really interesting they don't really want to engage with anyone who wants to talk more about that point. Or have long since left this site.
I guess I still don't know how it works, and I don't really care at this point.
I'm hoping that I come back and stumble on this post in 3-4 years and remember how rough things were and how far I've come.
I wanted to participate more and make things better but I can barely walk and there's housework that I'm neglecting. I have to stop trying to save the world before I can even help my self. Doing that is what got me here. I need to cherish the people I have. The 11 partners I feel I don't give enough attention. The house I'm not taking care of the laundry and dishes I haven't done.
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Whump blog intro
||Wait, what actually is Whump?||
Berry/ Cookie. 22 (she/her).
I write the most: whump prompts. Comfort, emotional, torture, aftermath, comic reliefs, caretaker-whumpee dinamics.
Sometimes I draw stuff too
The whump I don't write (no-no): - irl (dni), nsfw, minor, extreme gore.
(My shitpost account - whumpberry-foodfight)
(My reading list)
===============
Masterpost:
If you're interested in any cathegory from below, let me know!
SERIES:
Forced to dance (1) (2) (3)
There is no way out. Whumpee can't reach out for help. All they can do is to dance with Whumper on the ball and play pretend.
Your poor wrists (1) (2) (3) (4)
Caretaker, old friend of Whumpee helps him deal with all the pain he suffers during their abduction. The pain that Caretaker causes himself.
SHORT/PROMPTS:
Comic reliefs:
Comic reliefs (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)
Caretaker spent so much time with Whumpee that their symptoms aren’t surprising anymore. Also Whumpee wants to be treated normally. So sometimes it even becomes a comedic relief.
Ridiculous Whump Idea
Awkward Villain tries to do comfort
Whumpee believes there is good in everyone 💖And it wakes Caretaker's violent side.
Whumper is NOT good at being evil yet
Height problem
Comfort:
Fluff scenes: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11)
Awkward Caretaker with Mute Whumpee
The 5 love languages by Caretaker
Night shift
Happy ending
Stoic Caretaker
Emotional/angst:
Heartbreaking things Whumpee can overhear
Afterwhump realisation
Winter escape
Hurtful things Caretaker can say
Caretaker at his breaking point
Caretaker needs some comfort too
Social anxiety
Caretaker who just doesn't know what to do
Whumpee realises the truth about their own intentions
Torture/abduction:
Two Whumpers
Interrogation of the stoic leader
Don't hold your breath (Merry Whump of May)
Tiny whumpee
The choice game (whipping, betrayal)
Push your boundaries (forced participation)
Team watching the tape (Whumpee's interrogation)
Whumpee trying to bargain
Plot prompts:
"Don't... move"
Motives for Whumper to Whump
The Sidekick is a dedicated lover of the Villain
Caretaker is getting possesive
Caretaker blames leader for Whumpee's death
Morally gray Caretaker
Face paints
_________________________
Fav tropes:
Military/Underground/XIX, XX centuries
Aftercare / healing / Fluff (Caretaker x Whumpee dynamics)
Interrogation (hand whump, electrocution, whipping, drowning, breaking bones) (innocent / stoic / unprepared whumpee)
Touch starved / guilt tripped / traumatised Whumpee
Leader as a parental figure; team frienship
Changing sides (Sidekick -> Teammate, Villain -> Caretaker etc.)
___________________________
Thank you for reading! Enjoy!
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Notice about trigger warnings:
For now: I add trigger warnings in the hashtags (eg. #tw torture). And if it's a longer post or containing any sensitive subjects, I add also trigger/content warnings on the beggining of the post.
My priority is to make a safe space for everyone here, so If I can improve anyhow, let me know! (But please be gentle I'm a meltdown crybaby XD ) If I miss some trigger warnings I didn't think of, or add something that shouldn't be there. Or any other mistake I make because of my level of Language or simply because of my lack of understanding on subject, I apologise in advance, it was not intentional and I'll learn from it for the future writing.
Thank you for understanding and I'm hoping to provide you with correctly marked content.
----------------------
⚠ DISCLAIMER! ⚠
This blog is dedicated to writing FICTIONAL scenarios and story ideas. None of the situations depicted are meant to relate to reality and are in no way meant to encourage any violence in real life.
#whump intro#whump#whump community#whumpblr#whump blog#whumpberry cooking#whump introduction#blog intro#blog introduction#whump masterpost#whump masterlist#whump prompt#writing#masterlist#masterpost#whump comfort#whump writing#whump fic
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To Know More of You
Five times Henry threatened to divorce Alex, and one time he did the opposite
(no angst just alex being a shit)
Chapter 1/2
Alex expected to fall in love with a lot of things when he and Henry moved in together. He expected to fall even more in love with watching Henry get ready in the morning, or with the way he looks in Alex’s clothes. Alex expected to fall in love with Henry’s excitement about learning new things, or the face he makes when he’s playing a board game. But what Alex didn’t expect to fall in love with is the way Henry reacts to certain phrases. They’re nearly all things he’s picked up from Nora, but he’s found a special joy in hearing Henry react, watching him be incredulous as he tries to piece together what exactly things mean. And, as much as Henry May hate it, it’s something Alex absolutely loves.
In his defense, it starts on accident. It’s been a long day, and he’s just leaving the library when Henry calls to confirm their dinner plans. Alex is half distracted getting into the car as he says, “Yeah, so if you wouldn’t mind preheating the oven and putting the potato toddlers in, I’ll finish things up when I get there.”
He’s not entirely focused on his phone conversation, but he’s pretty sure he hears Henry mutter something that ends in “fuck”. He’s not sure; it’s been a long day of studying and his brain is fried. Still, this might be an opportunity to mess with Henry, and that never gets old.
“I’m sorry, the what?” Henry asks, and Alex grins.
“The potato toddlers. I think they need it at 425; the packet’s in the freezer and it should say on the back.”
“Alex, do you mean the... tater tots?”
“Yeah; the potato toddlers. I thought you studied English in college; shouldn’t you know this?”
“What time did you say you’ll be home?”
“About half an hour, why?”
“Shaan should have the divorce papers drawn up by then. I’ll let you have custody of the, um, toddlers.”
“Well, if you divorce me, you can make your own dinner tonight. I’m going to be enjoying some nice potato toddlers in a nice breakfast-for-dinner burrito, and if you divorce me I’m taking it all. I’m a lawyer; I’ll skew the papers my way.”
“Well you’ll have to get here first,” Henry says, and under that joking tone is an affection so genuine that Alex has to remind himself to breathe. It’s only been a day, but he missed Henry, too. He wonders vaguely how they’ll cope when they have to be apart longer, then decides not to think about that for now.
“As soon as I can, baby. I’m coming.”
—
He doesn’t exactly plan on doing it again. But it’s late when Henry comes into his office, and Alex coughs at just the wrong time. He’s been fighting a cold all week, and he’s trying to hide it, but just as he recovers from his coughing fit, he feels arms slide around his shoulders. Henry leans in to kiss his cheek, and Alex smiles in spite of himself.
“Hi, love. You feeling alright?”
“I’m fine; just a sore throat.”
“I’ll make you some tea and honey,” Henry says, “But I think... of you can, I’d like to bring it to you in bed. It’s getting late.”
Alex agrees. He can’t say ‘no’ to Henry, and it is late. So he gets ready, and he’s in bed when Henry comes into their room, a mug in his hand. He smiles, and the whole thing is so fucking domestic that if he doesn’t ruin it, Alex thinks he might explode.
“Does it have bee sauce?”
“Does it have... yes, it has honey in it to help your throat. I’m going to divorce you.”
“Not now. Too tired,” Alex says, and now that he’s finally back in bed, he feels it. He hadn’t realized how heavy his body feels suddenly, and the places where he’s sore from sitting all day are already starting to stretch out. Henry runs a hand through his hair, and Alex leans toward it, closing his eyes as he does and just letting Henry’s closeness wash over him.
“Drink your tea, then get some rest, love. The world will still need saving when you wake up.”
Alex grabs Henry’s wrist, and when he opens his eyes, Henry is smiling just a bit.
“If I don’t let go you can’t get divorce papers,” Alex says, and Henry laughs.
“You’re ridiculous, and I adore you.”
“Stay? It’s too big here for just me.” David whines, and Alex smiles in spite of himself. “Too big for just me and David.”
“Of course, Love. Let me get changed.”
Alex tries to stay awake, he does. But he’s more tired than he’d realized, and as he drinks the tea, his eyes close automatically. He’s nearly asleep When he feels the bed dip, and he barely has time to roll over and cuddle Henry close before he’s out for the night.
—
From there, the divorce threats become, if not normal, at least regular. They’re never taken seriously, but before long, Alex is out of phrases to earn them. He starts to miss the way Henry will roll his eyes, or the fond exasperation in his tone. He has a weekend trip to Denver to help Raf‘s campaign coming up, though, and he can’t wait to find something out there.
He was right to hope. Raf is just as much of a shit as he is, and they’d spent a night lying on the floor of his office laughing together, brainstorming awful ways for Alex to talk to his boyfriend. It felt eerily similar to their first summer together, and Alex couldn’t be happier on all counts. Plus, now, he has a whole fleet of cursed phrases ready to go.
He gets home late to find Henry asleep on the couch, and there’s not much time to talk while they move from the living room to their bed. But the next morning when Henry comes into the kitchen to wrap him in a hug, he sees his opportunity. He’s adding the milk to his coffee, and after kissing Henry’s cheek as a good morning, he unleashes a double whammy.
“Aw, hell yeah, cow juice. I’ve had enough nut juice to ruin the dairy industry twice over.”
“As soon as I’m awake, I’m divorcing you.”
Alex’s reply is cut off by a yawn, followed almost immediately by a kiss that’s all morning breath. He complains, but still leans up for another as Henry smiles.
“That’s not the kiss of a soon-to-be divorcee,” Alex says, and Henry just laughs, a laugh that fills Alex up with more warmth than his coffee ever could.
"I hate you," Henry mumbles, resting his head on top of Alex's for a moment. "But I'm glad you're home."
"Me too."
-
They're eating breakfast together when David comes down the stairs. He was mostly asleep when Alex got home last night, so when he sees him leaning against the counter drinking coffee, he makes a beeline. His tongue is out as he hops up on Alex's leg to cover his hands with slobber, and when Alex kneels down with a laugh, David moves to licking his face.
"Hey, David. How's my favorite furry offspring, hmm? How are you?"
"You're not getting custody if you call him that. I'll divorce you and take him back to London," Henry says, not even looking at them as he scrapes the last of the yogurt out of a container.
"He's just my little furry boy, yes he is," Alex says, and he's so focused on David that he doesn't notice Henry throwing his empty carton until it hits him on the forehead. He looks up to see Henry just turning to the sink, not quite quickly enough to hide his smile. "He can't eat that! He's going to get sick. Are you trying to hurt our gorgeous furry son? Henry, you’re his father! You can’t poison your son!"
"Oh, shut up," Henry says, though there's no weight to it. He undermines it even further by coming over to kneel on the ground with them, kissing Alex and rubbing David's ears until he shakes. When they sit, David manages to climb into both their laps at once, and any plans for divorce are put on hold immediately.
-
Nora's there the next time it happens, and that only eggs Alex on. They're gathered in the boys' living room for a game night, and when Henry sits down beside Alex, both his knees pop. He grunts a bit, but Alex just grins.
"Aww, babe, hear that? Your skeleton's getting ready to hatch," he says, dropping a kiss onto Henry's knee before looking up at him with a smile. Nora's laughing, but Henry just looks a bit worried.
"Alex, love, do you really want to have to draw up divorce papers in front of Nora? Because I’ll divorce you, but I don’t want you to be embarrassed in front of your ex." Nora’s cackling by now, and Henry's grinning in spite of himself. Alex kisses his nose, and Henry just shakes his head, smiling. "We really need to invest more in keeping you two apart; I’m not sure I like whatever this is becoming.”
“Chaos is indivisible,” Nora says, and Alex grins, bumping his fist against hers across the coffee table. Henry just rolls his eyes at them both, and Nora laughs as he finally cracks a smile at them both, trying and failing to hide it behind the rule book on the table.
On AO3
Shoutout to @saltfics for workshopping cursed phrases with me and also to @bea-fox-mountchristen-windsor for saying she wanted this shitpost in a fic
Also, I'm sorry.
(bonus also, the title is from one of Alex's emails, p.243)
#my fic: rwrb#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor x alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#red white and royal blue fic#red white and royal blue#rwrb#firstprince
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tbh i had forgot the katara as jane i just remembered the zuko being stupid haha the post being ss well makes it great (i suppose they mean the narrative function of being the support and a contrast with lizzy. but yeah comparing her to katara who has such strong independence and standing up values sounds '???')
I read a lot zutara mainly because katara and aang getting together was always super uncomfortable to me
i am always here for Dumbass Zuko headcanons lmao. however I did unfollow that blog just the other day because while I love their art (give me allllllllll the accurately drawn PoC. if you draw PoC (or white people for that matter) as button-nosed instagram girls with dark skin and make no effort to learn how to actually draw different types of facial features i will come to your house and make you eat your wacom tablet and draw my giant nose and square jaw with pen and paper until you get it Right, there are enough resources about this and i am tired) I didn’t love their hot takes which I obviously did not want to say in the tags on their post but idk,,, I was getting this really bitter vibe from their meta, idk how else to explain it. I can understand being bitter about aspects of media you like and of course people are perfectly entitled to their opinions and headcanons, but I just don’t want that bitterness on my dash lol, I come to tumblr to shitpost and look at pretty pictures. and their opinions on zuko were definitely part of it bc they felt really unfair to me and the Pride and Prejudice post is def an example of something where I was just like ??? this makes perfect sense until I actually think about it at all?? why are you being mean to zuko for no apparent reason????? is it.... because he’s the only major character from the nation that is most similar to white colonising cultures, even though he’s doing the work to a) be aware of the colonising mentality he’s internalised and work on it and b) as the ruler of said nation, flag up and eradicate this mentality from his own country, which is evidenced by the FN’s policy of non-intervention in Korra (I think the almost-going-to-war plot in the comics was absolute bullshit by the way, like not its existence but just it not really being examined in that sense)? I am 100% here to examine those aspects of ATLA and again, I totally understand being bitter about them, but it just tires me out in a website I consider a leisure space
I do need to find more atla blogs to follow now, recs would be fab if you have any :)
oh yeah i basically dont ship any of the endgame ships (in ATLA, as you may guess from my header being Korrasami lol) because as i have said before, nobody needs to find their One True Love at the age of 13 lmao (i do kinda ship Suki/Sokka because they are a little older (still kids by our standards but most probably near adulthood by their own, if not actually adults in the full sense, and yes I do think cultural context matters when ascribing adulthood to people outside the modern West no matter what ‘you’re a baby until you turn 18 and then why don’t you instatnly have a job and a mortgage’ internet culture says) and their relationship is just so cute and feels really healthy to me idk we were Robbed of enough Suki screentime, we should have got more Suki and also she should have had her character explored a Lot more than Cool Ninja Feminist Gal) (also, witness the nested brackets, they are here)
I think a lot of people have issues with Zutara (and presumably by extension Zukka? though I haven’t seen this discussed as much or like. at all) because of the issues associated with essentially the heir to a colonizing empire which has decimated the culture of the indigenous-coded woman he’s being shipped with (im sure you’ve also seen those discussions if you’ve spent like. any time at all in ATLA fandom lol) which I... kinda have mixed feelings about, I’ve seen fics where it is definintely completely ignored and done really really badly but I have also seen fics where that conflict is a really essential theme and that’s been quite interesting (would recommend Southern Lights on AO3 if ou haven’t come across it before as a good example of that though it is very long and currently being updated (pretty regularly)). I feel like I’m too removed from that part of intercultural conflict that I have the right to comment on it, though I’ve definitely faced shades of those issues in the past, but I also feel like it’s potentially an example fo knee-jerk Tumblr purity culture to just say its Bad And Wrong so idk I’m conflicted.
In the politics of the world, I just don’t see how Katara being Fire Lady (ugh that’s a phrase that always makes me laugh, and not in a kind way), which is probs the most comon Zutara fic plot, would have Worked in any sense at all, and I definitely think she would have wanted to stay at he South Pole and rebuild her culture and bring bending back to them (as we see in the comics and obvs with her being Korra’s waterbending master iirc) and I can see Zuko wanting to help with that in whatever way possible because he rightly sees that as a really important part of the reparations owed by the Fire Nation. and obviously by the end of the series they were very good friends and definitely had better chemistry than fricking Kataang but yeah those reasons are basically why I don’t love Zutara but don’t necessarily hate it either
this was another ramble, not apologising for it this time because this is just what talking to me is like. I am very here for bringing back letter-writing because it lets me ramble to my heart’s content but also it would take up All My Time
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Hetabang time!
So, it’s finally te time to upload this! I’ve been waiting for this moment lmao
I wrote this and my amazing partner did a drawing of the last scene, but they haven’t posted it yet so imma wait till they do and tag them!
Edit: Here is the artwork!
https://aph-florida-shitposts.tumblr.com/post/616694960857710592/they-my-peice-for-the-hetabang-art-thing It’s made by @aph-florida-shitposts The artis amazing and everyone should go and check it out, period.
The meeting ended sooner that day. Thank God.
Gilbert grabbed his laptop and his briefcase, stretching his neck until it popped. It was Friday, finally, and that meant a lot of things. It meant beer, a nice dinner, some of that leftover cake, and the best part:
"Gilbert! Buongiorno!"
He could invite him for dinner. He could finally invite Italy for dinner and ask him that thing.
"Hey, little Italy! Guten morgen!" He smiled, his heart almost doing a cartwheel when Feliciano kissed his cheeks. "What are you doing here? You're going to miss your flight." Even after saying that, Feliciano sat on the table, and Gilbert did the same, not interested If he missed his own.
"I was looking for you." Said the Italian, and God, if he didn't die at that moment, he really had to be a tough one. His pale face took a very slight shade of pink, invisible to Italy.
"Oh, so you were searching for me?" Gilbert said, his speech still perfect, his tone normal, but his face warming. Slow but steady.
"Yes, I wanted to ask you something." Gilbert arched an eyebrow, blinking once or twice.
«Keep it cool.» He thought, panicking internally. "Oh, yeah, whatever you want, little Italy. I'm all ears." And, to be honest, he didn't expect that much, but surely he didn't see that one coming.
"Can you help me with my paperwork?"
Oh God, Italy was lucky he liked him. He wouldn't waste his weekend explaining paperwork to anybody, but him. He was the only exception.
But now, he surely was going to be talking about boring numbers, when they could be having a delicious dinner and a delicious dessert. Amazing.
Unless.
"Come with me. We can stay together at my house and I can explain to you how I do my paperwork." He smiled, petting the Italian's head. "Then, we can have dinner together. I'll make some homemade pasta for you and we can have cake at the end." And that was the exact way to convince Italy. Gilbert smiled softly, seeing Italy jump from one place to another while he sang some song. "Okay, okay. Chill, Kleine. Don't hurt yourself." Italy stopped and grabbed his hand, tangling his fingers with his own.
"I would love that, Gilbert!" He smiled widely, so beautifully. "Oh, Gil, you're red. Is something wrong?"
"Uh, nothing..."
They were kneading the dough, and Gilbert was amazed at the way Italy did it. His movements were perfectly fluent, his voice hummed a soft song, his eyes half-open. He stopped for a second, pinching the dough slightly.
"It's ready to stretch and cut." Prussia nodded, and then, they began to stretch the dough, making it thinner. Over, and over, and over again, until Feliciano felt like it was perfect. Then, they passed it through the cutter, making perfect spaghetti.
"Perfect." Said Prussia, bringing a tray with flour. "It's ready to cook." Italy nodded, looking incredibly happy. They both went to the kitchen, where the water in the pot was already boiling. Italy added some salt, and then, the pasta.
"It should be ready in two or three minutes. Could you check the sauce?" Gilbert nodded, and went to another pot, opening it and grabbing some sauce with a spoon. He tasted it, the flavor lingering in his mouth. It was absolutely...
"Delicious." He said, smiling widely. "It's delicious." Feliciano smiled, looking at him, small little face so adorable. He wanted to take a picture, no jokes. Gilbert covered the pot, seeing how his hand trembled, feeling his throat tightening. «Everything is going to be okay.» He had to say to himself.
And he really hoped it would be.
"Well, I think it's ready to drain." He nodded, getting closer. Italy was holding a fork, where one string of pasta sat. "Could you taste it, Gil?" And he extended his hand, offering him not the fork, but the food. He had to stop a second, trying to gain control of his face, to avoid that God damned red. He got even closer, eating the spaghetti from his hand.
"It's ready." He said, tasting it. It had the right amount of salt, and it wasn't incredibly soft, but a little bit chewy. It was perfect.
Italy drained it and put it in the same pot with the sauce. he moved it around with a pair of tweezers, and then, it was perfectly ready to eat.
"Let's go. I'm hungry." Italy smiled, grabbing a bottle of wine and a bottle of beer. Prussia nodded, grabbing the pot.
"So, did you understand that thing about your paperwork?" Italy nodded, smiling and grabbing his glass of wine.
"Yes, thanks." He smiled, taking a sip of wine. "You're a very good teacher, Gil."
"Oh, ask West or America, they'll probably have something else to say." He laughed. "I am a good teacher, indeed," he started, grabbing his bottle. "but I am not going soft on anyone. You're just a special case. Usually, I would be more strict and rude with any other. Only for you." And Gilbert smiled softly, booping the Italian's nose, making him laugh.
"I like you a lot, Gil!" He smiled, and Gilbert definitely felt something jump in his chest.
"Ah, yea, ja." He mumbled, looking away. "Actually, little Italy... Feliciano" He whispered, taking a big breath. "I like you too. I like you a lot." And Italy didn't even flinch.
"Yeah! Me too, Gil! You're an amazing friend!" Oh, no.
"No, dearest. I mean, uh, I like you, like, more than a friend. I like you a lot more."
"Like a best friend, then! You're my best friend!" And Gilbert rolled his eyes, but Italy kept talking before he could explain himself. "I wouldn't change you as my best friend for anything in the world! You'll always be the best friend I could ever have, and I hope nothing ruins our friendship!" For God's sake, Gilbert thought, almost speaking again.
Unless...
"You... Wouldn't want me to be anything more than... Your best friend? Only... That?" He said, his voice normal, but something was cracking. "Not even-"
"Always friends!" Italy interrupted him.
Then, he understood. Italy was understanding what he really wanted to say, but he surely didn't want to reject him. He just wanted him to... Catch the cue. He only wanted him as a friend.
He only wanted him as a friend.
"O-oh, yeah. Always... F-friends." He whispered, forcing that painful sensation at the back of his throat. Not yet. "I should take you to the airport so you can go back, Italy. You're going to miss your flight." He said, getting up and grabbing his keys and his helmet. He went to the garage, putting the key at the contact on his motorcycle. "Move, Italy! We don't have all the time in the world!" His words sounded a lot ruder and mean, like if he was tired or angry. Obviously, Italy got scared, and just followed the orders. The garage door opened with the controller, and they went out. Suddenly, Italy had to hold himself again Gilbert, because hell, they were going 100 kph, and it was just rising. They arrived at the airport in 3 minutes, when usually it would take 15.
"Let’s go." And as soon as they were on the ground they were running. Or well, he was almost running. Gilbert was just walking. Incredibly quickly. Gilbert had to buy the tickets for him because obviously, the people spoke German.
"Here. Have this." Italy grabbed the tickets with one hand, while he grabbed his document and passport from his briefcase with the other.
"Is everything alright, Gil?" He literally had to take a step back when Prussia looked at him. His eyes were glowing.
"I don't allow my own brother to call me by my name, Italy. You don't have that privilege either." He deadpanned.
But... Italy wasn't dumb. At least, not when it came to feelings. Even if Prussia was "angry", he saw sadness. In his face, those eyes were not glowing, they were shining.
"Gilbert..." He whispered, trying to put a hand on his shoulder, but at that second, his flight was announced. Prussia didn't even say goodbye, he just left.
His eyes were shining, yes. And he swore, he saw a tear leaving his left eye.
«Is he sad?"
Gilbert went back to his house calmly. He entered and started washing the dishes. The leftover spaghetti was poured in a container and stored in the fridge, with the forgotten cake. Then, he went to the table, grabbing his bottle of beer. It was half full, but in a second, he drank the rest. The wine was stored in the fridge, and the glass... He literally spent half an hour looking at it, trying to go back in time, when he bought that glassware, the moment when he grabbed it from the counter, just some hours ago. That moment, when they were still friends.
His knuckles turned white, and in a quick movement, he threw the glass against the floor, turning it to just useless shards. Panting, he kneeled at its side, slowly picking up the pieces, just hissing when one of them cut his finger.
Wine stung, but the tears falling were even more painful.
The meeting was in Berlin that day. Ironically.
"He didn't come today..." Whispered Italy, looking at the German's seat, unoccupied. In his place, Germany entered, even when he was, technically, on vacation. Apparently, though, he was not there for the meeting, because he wore just civilian clothes.
"Italy." He said, looking at him. "Can we talk? Please?" Italy nodded, concerned. He looked slightly sad but he looked mad too. Something surely had to be going around the Germanic countries. "What happened last Sunday, Italy? When I came back, Prussia was devastated. And I mean, really, sad."
"I knew he was sad. We were just talking, and in a second he was suddenly really mad but really sad. I swear I saw him crying."
"What were you two talking about? Do you remember what you said or what he said the moment when he changed?"
"We were talking about our friendship! I told him I liked him, and he told me he liked me too, but, like, more than a friend! Then I thought, well he wants to be my best friend, and then it went down really quick and he was like that in a second."
Germany observed him for a second, and then he arched an eyebrow.
I mean. He thought he was the clueless one, but even he would have understood that.
"So. Let's set things clear. You said something like 'I like you', then he said 'I like you too.' Then you started talking about friends, but he said 'I like you more than a friend.' Then you started talking about best friends. Then, he was suddenly angry. Is that what happened?”
"¡Si Capitano!" Said Italy, smiling widely. And oh God, he thought he was the clueless one.
"Italy, my dear friend." He started, taking a deep breath. He needed France. "Let's say, a man and a woman are together. And he says 'I like you more than a friend.' What would you think he's meaning?"
"He loves her!" Italy said, smiling. And he smiled and smiled until he didn't. "He... He loves... Her." Slowly, he whispered.
"And what if he does things for her he wouldn't do in normal situations? Like, cooking for her, or allowing her to call him by his name, or taking the time to explain to her something slowly, when everyone would say he's a devil when he's teaching. Or calling her with endearments, when he doesn't do that. What would you think? Does he want to be her friend?" And Italy slowly came into realization.
"Oh my God, I messed it up. I ruined everything. I wasted his time. I fell really low. I-" And Germany had to touch his arm, to prevent him from missing the line. "I have to go and talk to him." And he almost ran away, just in the for Ludwig to grab him and bring him back.
"Do you have any idea of what you’re going to say, at least?" Italy arched his eyebrow, opening his mouth, but Ludwig spoke first. "He liked you even when we were dating, but he never said anything. He liked you since the beginning. And I can't risk you going there and messing it up even more because I haven't seen him this sad since 1945. He doesn't deserve so much pain, and I won't let you go there unless you know exactly what to say." He took a deep breath. "Do you like him? Not like a friend. Not like a best friend." And Italy, slowly, nodded, making him smile. "Give me a pen. I have to give you the address. He's not in Berlin, so you'll have to go now unless you want to miss the train that goes to Hamburg." Italy grabbed a pen, and Germany didn't even waste time on paper, writing it directly onto his skin. "Do you understand it?" Italy nodded, and flew, running to the train station, buying a ticket to Hamburg, and getting on the train in record time. He just hoped that there was still time for him.
He made it to Hamburg, and then, he started going around, trying to remember each street. He reached a big building of apartments and looked at the key in his hand. The door opened, incredibly, and then he started walking, trying to reach the apartment number 19. The door made a little sound when unlocked, and then he went in.
«It has to be Ludwig's private department.» He thought to himself. Some books were easy to recognize for him because he saw them in his library. A jacket was on the sofa, he recognized it as Gilbert's. And there was a bed for a dog on the floor.
He walked to the bedroom, and entered, finding him sleeping peacefully.
«He's here...» He thought, slowly getting closer to him. He sat down on the bed, and at that moment, he woke up.
"What the fuck, Italy?" He almost screamed, going back. "What are you doing here? Get out!" Now he was screaming.
"No!" Italy responded, but Gilbert didn't listen. He grabbed his arm, dragging him to the door, without paying attention to anything he would say. And when they were almost out, he stopped for a second.
"What did you said?"
"I'm sorry," Italy whispered, squirming in his place. "Prussia, my hand hurts..." And he left him to go. He dragged some tears left In his eyes, saying that again. "I'm sorry. I didn't know, I didn't understand at that moment. Please, forgive me." And his face was suddenly red, his eyes shiny again.
"It's not fair, I try to get out, and you drag me back, you probably don't even mean what I think you're meaning. And I thought West was bad when it came to feelings." Italy grabbed his hand, pressing it.
"I like you too." He said, feeling Prussia's hand tremble. "I like you. Not like a friend. Not like a best friend. I like you a lot. I just thought you weren't meaning it like that, or I was just a little tipsy and I wasn't thinking, but I'm sorry. For making you cry and for hurting you." And when he looked at his face, he was crying. "I'm sorry..." He whispered one last time, slowly touching his nose, and kissing him.
It was something slow. Almost as if he was afraid of scaring him. He was suddenly so weak, so small. For a second he was a child again.
His hands just hung at his sides at the beginning, but then he slid them, right to his shoulders. They separated, looking at each other for a second. Then, Gilbert spoke.
"I like you, Feliciano."
"Me too, Prussia." Italy smiled.
"Call me by my name. Please." But Italy didn't, because, of course, he had to kiss him again.
#hetabang#hetabang 2020#aph italy#aph prussia#aph germany#pruita#smol writes#smol escribe#hws italy#hws prussia#hws germany
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to everyone.
to all the amazing people that light up my 2019, let's continue our journey to 2020. 2019 has been pretty amazing to me than last year and i'm rather excited for what's going to come on 2020. its a bit frightening but at the same time i'm ready to face it.
i'm dedicating each of you who got this page a personal message <3
let me start it with my loving Ren ♡
we met not that long ago but long enough for me to call you a special friend. i love hanging out with you, i love ranting everything to you cause you're a really good listener, advisor and most importantly a really great sidekick. okno. you know what to say to make me feel better and i admire that you can think of so much in a short amount of time. the way you handle everything is very responsible and careful, i look up to you alot. let's be more closer and share more stupid shitposts (RED VELVET PLSSS). i love you!!
Jason ♡
we known each other for a very long time but we always been pretty close to each other, but sometimes we don't talk and we argue that one time. and you went missing too but when you came back i was really excited. you were really funny and entertaining. just what i need, just what i wanted. we have a love hate relationship and we never get tired of each other and buuuu-ing each other everytime. okno. you are special to me and i cant find another jason to replace. thanks for being such a great friend. i love you!!
Juan ♡
my favorite movie partner and cuddle buddy <3 the one that would always tell stupid jokes which myself find it really funny even when it's pretty dumb. the one who never get tired of me punching you in the arm. okno. i wanna spend more time watching movies with you cause i personally hate watching movies cause i'm a book person. but when i watch it with you and hear you explaining to me everything made me love movies. pstt. only when i watch it with you <3 HAHAHA let's do more movie dates next time juan, because movies are not watch worthy without you. okno. i love you!!!
bwi ♡
as much as i find you pretty annoying and such a coward but i really know how it takes courage to do something. i know how does it feel when you feel like doing something. but it's find. i dont judge you for it ok? i was just messing around with you cause your reaction is always funny i dont wanna miss it. OKNO. if you havent moved on completely, it's fine. it takes time to heal and takes time to grow. i hope you have a better life and be happy in 2020. i love you!!
Belle ♡
SINCE YOU'RE A GIRL NOW IMMA CALL YOU BELLE. okno you were a guy when we first met and first dated. okno. i can't believe we made it till today even when we dont talk that much these days. i just want you to know even when i'm very very very annoying and stoopid but i am really thankful that you were always there listening to my probs and teas :(( i'm so dramatic. wipes non existent tears. okno. be less busy so that i can kacau you more :(( i love you!!
Kitty Kou ♡
my wife :(( my husband soulmate boyfriend girlfriend my everything :(( screams i miss you so much we're not talking much this days are you THAT busy gimme attention bich :(( okno. i'm glad that you are fine now (i can see and feel it) also i dont want you to be sad no more cause you dont deserve to be :(( i'll karate anyone that tries to mess with you i swear >:( i love you soooo much you're my fav bestie ever you listen to me and play along with me cause thats what soulmates do :(( dont ever leave my side or i'm gonna tie u to me so that you wont escape HAH take that :(( i love you bb♡
Qhal ♡
you stick up to me since day-1 and thats what i love about you. you grew into a better person, you were so much braver and bolder plus happier these days and i've never been so proud of you. i hope your happiness last till next year and the following and forever. every day is a new day. you dont have to close old books and open new ones. you dont have to be someone you're not and importantly, you dont have to do things for anyone else. yourself is your top priority and always remember that you're just as important. seeing you happy makes me happy. we've been friends for god knows how long and you never left my side, ever. you're always a special friend to me. you're always in my heart. i love you!!
Irwin ♡
not gonna deny you're always there for me when i'm in an existential crisis. okno. you're such a fun and funny person to talk with. i always enjoyed talking to you because you could make and awkward situation lively with your randomness. you radiate great and positive energy that anyone around you feel better. you make me feel better when i'm sad. i hope you and jade last looooooooooong enough just like how long we've known each other. i love you!!
Tian ♡
i love talking to you and randomly being stupid with you and jason. i love how we click with each other that much it's like we're siblings. rough things happened but let's all forget about it. i hope for you happiness as you were always sad about a certain someone. it's fine to think about it. it's fine to hold onto it. cause the longer you hold on, the easier it will go away when it gets old. you should really reveal your cute daughter to everyone. cause i miss her and everyone needs to see her <3 she's amazing just like you. i love you!!
Cosmo ♡
as long as we known each other, you were the brightest person and the easiest to get along with. you always know what to do and put your heart in everything you do. i dont like seeing you being sad or depressed anymore because you weren't like that when we first met. always surround yourself with happy stuff >> me. and do things you wanna do that makes you happy. you will always be my cosmo, and i'll always be your wanda♡. i love you!!
Junguan ♡
hi bestie how u doin. okno. i am glad that you're always happy, always problem free. thanks for listening to my problems, thanks for being a great friend. i have a great laugh and a great time with you always. your reaction to my stupidness and sarcasm was always funny i'm not gonna lie. you're always the one that i believe would keep everything i tell you a secret. you're such an awesome person and a great friend. i love you !!
Xie/ Axel ♡
you're a really interesting person to talk to. aside from our past relationship. you're a really strong and a great person. you're someone that doesn't give up on anything you do and i really adore you for that. you make everything seem so funny to me idk why oKNO. but except for our snapstreak, we dont really talk mUCH. did you moveD or are you just busY cause u krik krik im thinking twice about softblocking you. okno. talk to me bitch. i love you!!
marcell/shaq ♡
you change your name to match mine cause you like me eh?? buuu. okno. you were always someone i trusted because you're responsible of doing your job and you're someone nice to talk to i mean not nice nice because you're mean but nice by i can have a conversation with you and talk about random stuff without letting it die because i'm funny and you're lame okno. let other judge your outer and let yourself know your inner. jangan jadi noob for 2020. okno. i love you!!
Eric ♡
my stupid bun. my ride or die. ew. these two years 18/19 has been pretty rough for the both of us and i think it's just a step and a lesson to grow into a better person. you helped me alot through this year and i'm never less thankful for that. the loving things you do for me, the things you would let it slide when it comes to me. your soft spot for me never goes away huh HAH and i'm taking advantage of that. okno i'm kidding. you are a big help for me and for what i went through. you never said no. you always agree on everything and i really appreciate it. when we broke up last year, you still insisted to talk to me. which i find out really annoying. just kidding. i'll let everything slide since you do that to me too. you're a really great person, amazing let me tell you. thanks for being a great friend to me. thanks for helping me out with almost everything. i owe you big time. i love you!!
harry ♡
first of all, thank you for being a great bestie, we would always talk to each other everyday but you got busy these days :(( but yey, its almost a decade since ive known you, kyak. we met when we were in kbb. you were d__, kyak, smpipol 💕 i feel so giddy giddy all of a sudden lololol. and then we started exchanging contacts, you were first harry, on fl. and then we had this, nOOt squad gTG. im nunmul-ing. why is this suddenly a throwback session. and and and then theres trisha gosh i love trisha and you too. i adore you for being such an honest person, when it comes to telling your problems to us, which is something i cant really do. if you have problems, dont hesitate to tell us, though i dont really help much eheh. but sometimes there are things that arent meant to be said. its okay, theres nothing wrong feeling sad, feeling all those negative feelings. we are human too, we have feelings. it is okay to sometimes not be okay, it is okay. but other than that, be happy with those you are surrounded with. youre someone that worth a big hug. i hope you spent your day with those you love 💕 i hope youre having a good day. youre an amazingly talented person. i hope youd achieve your dream soon, i pray for your health, and for you to surrounded by lovely people. you're such a talented person and gosh, your drawings for the fashion week, cries. chef kisses momma!!! you should update me on your life more because i wanna know what you do and support you on everything you do. don't forget me anyways :(( because you're the only realest annoying brutally honest bitch i love :(( i love you!!
thanks for an amazing 2019, lets get closer in 2020. i love you guys. ♡
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really frightened that i am lacking something essential and will never be able to be a skilled or creative artist no matter how hard i try. equally frightened that i have sabotaged my own progress in various ways and have wasted years backsliding and will never “get back” any skill i did previously exhibit. do you have any suggestions for how to continue to produce art and improve even when constantly suffocated by fear
anon this is a common but unfortunate occurrencei feel this a lot too this is a very long reply because i think about this kinda stuff often, so there’s a readmore
i’ve got some advice for you, though i’m sure you’ve probably already heard some if not all of this before, so i don’t mean to talk to you like this is new magic info, but just reiterating stuff that i try to keep in mind that might work for you tooalso i want to point out that i’m not a professional remotely, so the things i’m stating are completely from my own personal experiences ….. and also i struggle with perfectionism and other things so while i give this advice i also still have trouble with the problems noted and also i use a lot of examples and comparisons when i talk because its easier for me to understand things that way
anyway:
1- you are the person who sees your art the mostthis is a very obvious thing, to state but it ties directly into a lot of what you’ve statedyou feel you lack something essential, you feel you’ve backslid and lost previous skills, and youre afraidbut think about the other art you seeyou ONLY see the end result of what everyone posts… or even if people do post in-progress pictures or speedpaints, you’re not really seeing the “scope” of it with in-progress pictures, you don’t know how much changed or how much was erased how much time was spent how much etc with speedpaints, you see all the progress but its sped up and it’s easy to feel like all of that was done faster than it really was even if youre aware its sped up
and even if you watched a realtime video of someone drawing… theres thousands of hours outside of that video of this person doodling, and even THINKING about their art that you havent seen it makes other peoples art feel a lot more.. confident? secure?
for your own art however, you are fully aware of the struggle of every line because you’re the one doing it and thinking about itit might make you feel like you’re trying so hard when everyone else has just Got it
2- experiencing art as a consumer vs a creator is a different feelingthis is directly tied to the previous idea but it’s easy to feel like you lack something essential when, instead of consuming the art, you are the one producing it
here’s an example: i love horror contentnot all of it of course, but i love horror that really makes me think and makes me see a characters motivations and really digs in deep psychologically and sticks with you even after you’re done experiencing the media
however it is very very hard for me to make anything that is strictly horror. for a long time i thought i was just bad at it, but i realized later that i’m not missing something that helps to write/draw horror … i just experience horror different based on if i’m consuming it vs making it part of the horror appeal to me is the MYSTERYif i am writing/drawing horror, there is NO mystery! i know everything there is to know about the situation i am making! i know all the character’s motivations, i know everything there is to know about every tiny detail and even if i am writing something where i don’t know what happens so it’s a purposeful mystery (such as in this comic where i don’t know what happens if you take off the tinier beak) it sometimes feels less Cool Mystery for me and more like “oh no i don’t know this thing, oh god, i’m a bad writer”i’ve gotten over that little by little, but it’s still hard to shake that i’m “missing” something with work that ISN’T mine its easy to put meaning that may not have been totally intended and THINK that the person meant it, and thus feel like that thing is more thought-out than it actually is
you might be experiencing something similar with art… where it feels like when you see OTHER art, you feel happy or like theres a meaning there etc but with your own art, you can’t capture that same feeling… it could literally be because you know what youre going for and what youre doing because youre the one doing it
3a- old art feels better sometimes because it is more removed from youyou know better than i do in this regard if this is true to you, because sometimes people can genuinely get rusty and lose but for the most part older art tends to feel better due to the fact it is becoming more and more removed from your current state and mindsetold art starts to slowly get treated the way you read Other people’s art because you’re not staring at it constantly and you start to forget the process and effort behind the old art
sometimes you can’t see well if your new art is “better” or not because it is too current on your mind and you know how hard it is to make and if it does or doesnt match what you were going for or etc etcmeanwhile your old art starts to be viewed more objectively because you dont remember every difficult line with it, and you can see it as a bit better because you’re not bogged by the negativity
3b- even if you fell off, you can regain the skill
even if you DID get worse over time… you did it once before and you can do it againyou can learn from your old works, but also try to learn from your old mentality a lot of my old stuff was more expressive and emotivei could learn to do that again mechanically, imitating my old stuff, but a big part of why my art was that way was because my mentality was different back then i was louder, more open, etc etcthink about what’s changed within you to see reasons for things changed in your art
4a- fear only works if you’re afraid of being badit is important to be able to see ways you can improve… but it’s also important not to fear that you have areas that CAN improveif you view “making something bad” as a punishment/negative outcome your fear directs itself through all your art
the easiest point fear can attack is starting to draw at allbefore you start drawing its very easy for your mind to go “why do this? why try if it’s just going to be stressful” and all through out the process that ramps up like “see it’s just stressful why do it”
your fear seemingly offers you something to gain if you don’t even try: avoiding the pain of art altogether
but what if you were unphased by that pain? if you don’t care about making something bad, that fear can’t manifest
some artists start their day by drawing the shittiest thing they can to shake off rust and have fun doing it … drawing a cartoon character from memory, drawing and overly rendered shitpost etc now i’m not saying not to care about your quality and take a ton of shortcuts and blablait’s still good to want to learn and improve it’s just that you have to start rearranging your perspective on your steps to achieve that
4b- no-stakes neutral is no problemhow do you get rid of that fear? how do you stop feeling being bad is.. bad?
try to view arts range as neutral to positive (as opposed to negative to postive) because at it’s base that’s exactly what art is what i mean by that is…let’s say you’re trying to draw a cat (and it’s not a commission or anything). your first attempt does not look anything like a cat this is not a “bad” thing though it may feel that way your failed attempt at a cat has not stabbed you or taken money or food from you or in any way truly inconvenienced you
the base idea is that you drew something and it wasn’t what you wanted this is completely neutral.. it’s like going to look for a new shirt. if you see shirts you don’t care for, you move past them until you get to the shirt you want.your “bad art” is just that. a bunch of shirts you don’t want til you find the one you’re looking for… you don’t have to pay anything for those “bad” attemptssure they take a bit of time and if you don’t have a lot of energy you might feel bad to use it on a drawing that you don’t enjoy and it can be frustrating if you keep trying to no avail, but all in all it’s not a stark negative
art isn’t a straight pathit’s winding, it’s really confusing , and it can be tiringbut if you go down a path that’s a dead end, you just try another pathdon’t fear reaching dead ends, there are always more paths
chuck jones (an iconic animator) said he had to draw multiple drafts to get expressions just right failure is in the eye of the beholder… he felt the first drafts for those expressions did not fit what he wanted, but he didn’t fear failure because of that even if the art was not by his standards, he continued until he got the one he felt was appropriate
it takes patience to get to where you wantif you stay patient you will eventually arrive there
5- drawing and thinking go hand in handart is a blend of being able to draw and being able to problem solve through what you already knowwhen i get stressed with art it’s usually because i don’t know what the hell i’m doing with no way to check myself if i’m close to what i want or not with me it tends to happen with backgrounds or animalsthis is why ppl typically suggest learning to draw cubes, cylinders and spheres from any angle because then you can transfer that base knowledge into other objectslike, cubes can be used to draw rooms, boxes, screens, fences, etccylinders can be pipes, water bottles, arms and legs, etc
transfering base knowledge is essential in art and understanding that you can do that, even if only as a base, helps a lotwith learning how to draw a mouse, you have a starting point for learning how to draw a rat (comparing the headshapes, sizes, ears, etc)… then you can use these two as a base point for drawing a squirrel, then a rabbit etc
another example could be maybe you know how to draw claws but not fangs… you can interchange the shape of a curved claw for a curved fang easily
starting with something you know and figuring out how to transfer the knowledge is very important and can help lessen that stress because instead of not even knowing where to start, you can problem solve to figure out what you already know under different termsits just all about knowing what connections you can try and learn, and working “smart”
on that vein… 6- perfecting things doesn’t make perfectit’s very tempting to make every tiny detail as good as you possibly can… but it’s very daunting and time consumingyou should try to work “smart” here too and now what i mean by that is … say i’m making a comic. i can make the comic to the absolute best of my current ability and take forever and become extremely drained Or… i could decide to try but still set a deadline for myself, and not worry TOO much about the smaller details why is the second one better? because i will get it done. if i try very very hard my ABSOLUTE best on a comic, making sure every single line is perfect, in a few months that comic will still be outdated. it will still get old and the amount i learned from it is limitedif i give myself some leeway (still trying of course, still learning and challenging myself) and set a deadline, i learn to be disciplined in my comics, i get a comic finished, AND i learn more because i am finishing more work in general
this is a really helpful video that explains this point more in depth
this isn’t to say you need to take the easiest routes for art that are availableit’s more like… back to the comic example, let’s say it’s like making a cake i can be a huge perfectionist about my cake, carving everything exact and putting every drop of frosting as exact as i can… but i’m still not a “master” at this i’m still learning the next time i make a cake i’m going to have to do the same situation … take forever to try to make the perfect cake
if i make a cake and still try, but accept when i don’t know how to get the exact result, my first cake is going to be a bit of a mess, but the next cake i make, i’ll be a little closer and in the time it takes Perfectionist Me to make 2 cakes, i might have already made 10 and i’ve sped up the process now and improved because i’ve learned a lot with those 10 cakes
there’s probably more that can be said about art, but i’m hesitant to try to dictate too much about how you experience your art and go about it i hope that this can help you at least a bit though
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sorry for the pda i need to make a gross friend appreciation post
@cascifers you’re one of my closest friends and being able to meet you was one of the greatest experiences of my life. i know im emotional and probably sometimes really hard to deal with, but youve stuck by me so far and its made me a lot happier than i would be if you werent in my life. what we’ve made together makes me happy, but our friendship means a lot more than that to me. youre attractive, funny, and you need to stop being so hard on yourself. i wish i knew how to effectively help your more negative moods, but until i figure it out, ill be sticking right by you. I love you.
@sketchfirstthendray youve done so much for me and i dont even know if you realize it. from being around to text to being on call with me as i fall asleep to ward away paranoia to giving me gift art doodles for no real reason, youve never failed to make me smile in some way, shape, or form. youre beautiful and god i wish youd send me more selfies, you’re drop dead gorgeous. your girlfriend is extremely lucky and im sure she knows it, sin twin. i hope you continue to stay in my life and you keep bugging me at early hours in the morning. its also really refreshing to speak to someone that wont judge any kink ever lmao-- I love you.
@katamaridamaci ren, we’ve known each other for a long time now and i’m so glad we’ve kept in touch. your stories and your characters are wonderful, and as your style changes little by little, i love seeing you grow. you make me laugh nonstop and your shitposts never get old. your ocs hold a special place in my heart. meeting you was awkward at first, but that was just because i was so nervous. i loved exploring a convention with you while wearing a kigurumi, and the fact that you actually went to my birthday party despite living so far away dumbfounds me. youre adorable with vi, and i wish you two the best. i love you.
@coloredkittykat999 seeing your art improve so quickly is motivational, you have no idea. we havent known each other super duper personally for so long, but getting to know you and your characters better has given me a better understanding of you and ive never been so inspired to be a friend of yours! the things you make are so full of detail, and your ocs are really likable. the times we’ve called before have also been really fun, and i can say for a fact that you’re very attractive! i hope we can talk more, for how long we’ve known each other, you mean a lot to me. i love you.
@ghostcups ghost oh my gooooooood. i wish we could’ve met while you still lived closer, having you move so far away broke my heart. much like kitty, your art has improved drastically over a short period of time and i’m amazed by it! i get really upset when i see youre upset, i know what its like to feel like that at your age and i wish i could take those feelings away from you. youre an amazing person with a wonderful heart and the motivation to keep making wonderful pieces of art. keep creating, i support you 500%. i love you.
@busheti hikaru, you’re the closest person i am to in real life despite us only speaking to each other fairly frequently for less than a year. god, youre the only shit that t o l e r a t e s me. youve provided me comfort and support that i cant give myself, and im forever in your debt. youre talented as hell and it makes me really salty, but i keep wanting to support you actively anyway because your will to draw inspires me. youre extremely handsome and i wish you had more confidence in that. thank you for being there for me, in class, and still now. i love you.
@articulatecreator jay my god. you’re talented, gorgeous, your voice is heavenly, and your talent makes me super envious. despite all of that, instead of just being bitter and trying to avoid you, it’s attracted me to you and im honored to be someone you consider a friend. youre wonderful and emotional like me and im so happy i can connect with someone on so many things, even choir. i love your concepts, your aesthetics, your art, your voice, aaaaagh. i wish i could meet you, dork. thank you for being here for me and getting closer and closer to me. i love you.
@sinful-rainbros sym you mean too much to me for me to forget you. meeting you was a brief thing, but i regret none of it and it was so much fun. youre such a nerd about a few things and its adorable tbh, like how you care about your books so much or how you worry about your horse. i wish i couldve spent more time with you, thanks for the brownies. we’re also similarly bitter in the same ways, like we’re somehow related or connected or some shit. connected at the mind. also youre gorgeous and you cant say otherwise fuck you. i love you.
i love all of my other friends too, if i didnt write you something here, it doesnt mean i care about you any less. this has just all been on my mind and i wanted to share it. its like,,,,,,, 4 am.
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Welcome to your tape, bitch
Oh. My. God. This show is the perfect example of how I am actively ruining my life with the conscious decisions I make. I spent one week hate-watching it mainly because I wanted to understand the whole controversy around it contribute to all the shitposting happening on Tumblr. So there I was, sitting on my couch, ready for some Netflix & Chill - the real kind, not the Grindr-enabled one - and then I heard Hannah Baker's voice, which led me to the following point:
1. How conceited is this girl?
I knew this was shit the moment I heard her saying she wasn't going to send her victimizers a podcast because she wouldn't make it that easy for them, so instead she sent them plain old cassettes. Bitch, seriously? You're dead, whatever makes you think that people who dgaf about you when you were alive, will do it now just because you took the easy way out? Next time you want to guilt-trip your classmates from the grave, at least wait till after they've contacted you through a Ouija board.
And don't even get me started on her self-proclaimed moral superiority. She blames Jessica for her death because she slapped her, but then Hannah witnessed her being raped and that didn't ring a bell on how shitty a person she was too? Like, please, you would have gotten a million tapes yourself had anyone else come up with the same stupid idea.
This brings me to the second point.
2. She was not alone
This show would have been remotely less annoying if Hannah had actually been isolated. In fact, they tried to go there by having her say how lonely, unpopular, and disliked she was, and how everyone was just trying to get her. Except they were not. In fact she made a fuckload of friends throughout the series. She was dating the jocks, experimenting with the Queen Bee, being all deep and intellectual with the gay guy, going to parties at the cheerleader's house, friendzoning the hot geek, and even having her own little version of The Breakfast Club with an Eminem wannabe.
And yet you're telling me that she was unpopular and nobody liked her? Yeah, OK, next.
3. Her reasons to kill herself are ridiculous
Somebody stole the drawing that some anon left in your compliment box? Heartbreaking. Was that a reason to kill yourself? Of course not! Well, on a second thought, maybe the fact that she went to a school where they had compliment boxes was.
Seriously, what were the writers thinking when they were working on this script? Did nobody think that this was stupid af? Suicide is never justifiable, but fuck, if you're going to do it, at least come up with a decent reason. Don't slit your wrists open over someone reading your anonymous poem in class, which, by the way, nobody even knew was you. There's a fine line between crying for help and stirring up drama just for the sake of it. Hannah Baker mostly dwelt in the latter.
4. None of this would have happened if she had not been actively looking for drama
Hannah was upset because the high school jock shared a pic of her undies. He then told the whole school that she was an easy lay. Outrageous. Then one of his friends tried to pull a Donald Trump on her (and grab her by the pussy) because, you know, the high school jock said she was easy, remember? All of that I get.
What I don't get is why over the course of the series she continued interacting with him and everyone else who was mean to her - according to her delusional ass, anyway - and even getting in a hot tub with them. I'm sorry, but that's not the behavior of someone who's deeply hurt and desperate for things to improve. That's the behavior of someone asking for it. No, I don't mean rape. Rape is never justifiable. I mean drama. She was asking for drama and if she didn't t get it, she would create it.
5. The rape aftermath
OK, fine, the whole rape situation was not cool. Yet her blaming the counselor is what really pissed me off. Hannah, being the dumb ass teen that she is was, wanted justice - which I totally get. What I don't get is why the fuck would she even bother to go and make a scene at the counselor's office and then throw a bitch fit at him when he told her that she needed to move on? Yes, that is a shitty answer, but what was she expecting? He was a fucking counselor for fuck's sake, not Professor Xavier. He couldn't read your mind, girl. If you she truly wanted him to help, then she should have spoken up and spilled the tea on Bryce. Oh, no. instead she went crazy and stormed out of the room ready to do the job, but not before standing outside of the counselor's office hoping he would run after her.
The hell you think you are, Hannah? Cinderella? Who'd want to run behind a crazy, borderline psychotic teen with an attitude problem?
6. The Latin classmate
I'm not done hating on Hannah, but this guy got me raging almost as much as she did. Everything from his crappy personality to his outfit was just terrible, but the real mystery is what he even had to do with Hannah, and why the fuck does he pretend to be all wise and mighty? First of all, if he was that wise, he would have stopped dressing like Danny Zuko.
Also, let me get this straight: Hannah kills herself because in the end she has no friends, yet she entrusted this guy to see her tapes through till they reached the 13th person? Ahem, is this a plothole or just plain stupid writing? I wanted to vomit every time Pedro - whatever, I'm Mexican - would show up just to act all shady and remind pretty much everyone around - mainly Clay, Clay, Clay, and Clay - that they had all killed Hannah.
Hoe, no. Someone friendly enough to give her a ride home when she was pissed drunk didn't kill her, she killed herself. Well, rather the razor blades that she stole from her bankrupt parents' pharmacy did, but those are just details. Also, if Carlos - whatever, I'm Mexican - was such a good friend and concerned about everything that had happened to her, he wouldn't be dropping cryptic af messages, he would have taken the tapes to the police and let them deal with the jock. But no, of course he didn't do that because that would have required a writer to stop mixing vodka and Xanax and realize the show they were producing. No, instead he took the least sporty-looking character rock climbing because that's just how he rolls.
7. Clay
So the guy went from being the wallflower to taking justice into his own hands? What's his name again? Batman? I still don't understand how he's supposed to be all smart and yet not once, not even for a single second, does he stop and think that maybe, just maybe it's better to tell his parents, or any other grown up in fact, about what's happening and about how every other person wants to axe him. Like, I get it, you're angry, you're hurting, but you know what hurts more? That gap on your forehead, you know, the one you got after a car hit you?
Like, didn't anyone notice it? Am I the only one who can see it? Cos, girl, it's so big it makes the gender gap in the workplace look narrower in comparison. Go get stitches, like, now.
8. Where the hell are all the parents?
Underage drinking, tattoos, drugs, reckless driving, guns, teens with huge af scars all over their faces, like, where the fuck are all the grown ups? Are you trying to tell me that not even one adult noticed any of this? For fuck's sake, Clay's scar is putrid and so is half his face now, he's dying of an untreated infection!
9. The fandom
I cannot even begin to explain how annoyed I am at the people who think this is an accurate reflection of the suffering that many of them have gone through. You're wrong, and I don't feel bad saying it. Hannah had multiple opportunities to save herself if she had not acted stupid, dared to speak, and or seek help. She had loving parents, a hot geek ready to jump her, and apparently she was the best of friends with Jorge - whatever, I'm Mexican. No, if she killed herself was because she was starving for attention. She wanted to guilt-trip everyone and make them feel as shitty as they had made her felt except, guess what? She's not there to witness it.
10. The message
That's my issue with this whole fucking series. It plays with the idea of suicide in an almost hedonistic way, it's almost as if they wanted us to picture Hannah Baker laughing in Heaven - or rather in Hell cos she killed herself, obvi - at the sight of all these people suffering over her death and feeling remorseful the actions that led to it. Let me tell you something: Unless you become Casper, you will not get to see this.
To everyone thinking that suicide is as glamorous as 13 Reasons Why made it seen, it's not. You die and that's it. Sure, there will be people devastated by it - your parents - but that's it. There will be no Juan - whatever, I'm Mexican - sending tapes on your behalf or Clay growing a vagina in the middle of his forehead during his quest to uncover the truth. You'll be gone and that will be it.
In conclusion, 13 Reasons Why is a steamy pile of trash from start to finish and was clearly targeting all the dumb af teens who also thought that The Fault in our Stars is the epitome of modern literature. It's pretentious, it's boring, it's full of plotholes, and it will make you rage from start to finish. Needless to say, this is my opinion and that's about it. If you don't like it, well... Welcome to your tape, bitch.
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