#i say the same thing everytime but this show is sooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good i love it!!!!!!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cosmosrival · 4 years

Note

Rico besides Kama what do you think about the other indian servants?????

AHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GOING TO GET SOOOO LONG!!!! i have a different view of the indo fam as a whole. i call them the indo fam but i mean the found family trope!!!! theyre like a group of college students sharing a dorm if that makes sense, since their servant selves are obviously different from their initial myths/human vessels!!!

OK SO. RECENTLY, i have an oomf that found books about arjuna that summarize his exploits in the mahabharata(I DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO READ IT ALL IM SO SORRY) and also talk about him in a more philosphical manner such as his states of mind during each event etc and i’ve been meaning to read said book because im genuinely interested in arjuna now!!! and i’d like to know more about this indo prince because from what i’ve seen, he is portrayed in a rather bad light(?) in FGO which i find extremely !!!!!!!!!!! and incrdibley !!!!!!! strange !!!!!!! the mahabharata’s conflicts can be put in a mostly grey area where there’s no good nor bad, its not black and white. so seeing arjuna get bashed because of the way his conflict with karna was written is... hm. let’s say that im REALLY starting to understand arjuna fans that dislike seeing him get mischaracterized so much. OTHER THAN THAT, his design is adorable, his travel outfit is my favourite because he deserves to relax and have some fun!!! fgo making him a chuuni is cute and his VAs little moans are cute cute cute!!!!!!!!!!! (mash grabs my shoulder and forces me to sit down) i think that arjuna deserves better and im really happy to see him have fun in his travel costume voicelines. i think we should take arjun on a date!!! he’s a great lover, we’d have the best time!! OH ALSO, kama seeing him as the student council president in their interlude makes me SOOOOOOO HAPPY its unreal, i think it fits him very very well, the seitokaichou who was elected because of everyone’s hopes and recommended by teachers because he’s suuuch a good student but because of that, the pressure to be good is constantly towering over his head and everytime he looks out the window he wishes he could ditch class and skip a day just because he felt like going to the arcade and be a bad student.......just this once........i think hes very very cute...... i want him to cook for me. HAVE YO U READ HIS BOND 4 VOICELINE ?mmmmmggg i want him to get embarrassed everytime i praise him for having such a muscular waistline. AUG

ANEWAYS i also have quite the thoughts about karna, his characterization in the game is linked to arjuna’s and thats fine but i think that forgetting how much of a little sassy bastard he can get was a mistake! did you know that in apocrypha’s german dub on netflix, when jeanne calls his name like “You’re Karna, aren’t you ? The son of the Indian Sun God !” HES LIKE “So ?” AND THAT WAS SOOOO BITCHY OF HIM, i think that karna is a good boy in fgo but the fact that he was such a fighty old man in the mahabharata shouldnt be forgotten and is a charm trait. I MEAN ???? HE THREW HANDS WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD(ARJUN) WHILE BEIN LIKE... THIRTY TWO. WHATS WITH THIS ANNOYING OLD MAN !!!!! knowing these little facts about him made me like him so much more actually !! i think karna being so nice is adorable!! but the little bitchy energy u can find in his voicelines is also very charming!! i think karna looking at me emotionless as i ask him to lend me his notes for the nth time that week and then saying “...Mn.” when i thank him is cute!!! his voiceline towards things he dislikes is interesting to me. karna seeming aloof and mean bc he doesnt know how to communicate but is actually nice underneath...... hey... thats a little delinquentcore........ i wouldnt say yankii but hes like... hes like... u know hes the handsome quiet one of the group of yankiis... u know the one...? hey where are you going

ganesha is also a character im deeply interested in but i havent played CCC so i dont know that many details about jinako herself !! my brain goes HMMMMMM it seems lord ganesha is trans in fgo ! (since kama used to be a male god originally as well!!) ganesha uses all pronouns!!! and ganesha is also special to me because they share similar traits with kama when it comes to their characterization AND mischaracterizations. ganesha isnt JUST jinako. theres a part of a god in the servant mix!!! and jinako HERSELF is actually a pretty sad character imo. the whole otaku/neet thing is obviously a facade and her true wish being that she wants to redo her whole life is also proof of how much she hates what shes become, yet at the same time, she doesnt know what else she could do. but anyways, i prefer looking at servants from a lore POV so i think that ganesha should still be considered a god and be adressed as such!! i like seeing people portray ganesha as jinako but i prefer it when a certain lavish more godly side of them is put forward. a side of jinako that managed to move on a little bit if that makes sense ? that got more serious. and became someone else entierly despite sharing similarities. needless to say their bond with karna makes me happy since he shows them respect as you should towards a god!! its a bit different from their bond in CCC... like they matured somewhat!! anyway ganesha is the one who taught everyone else in the indo fam about video games and technology and i will NEVER shut up.

ashwatthama..... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM %_’(’ç_”’è_ç(è_’”545656455456545453£¨¨µ¨µMµ¨++°=)=)°+ goodness. jesus christ on earth. my love story with him makes me so embarrassed. when he got revealed i instantly fell in love with him despite knowing JACK SHIT ABOUT HIM but since i was the only one in my friend group who was hardcore into fgo at the time, i kept my love for him to myself and just... (looks away)(i drop my wallet full of picturses of him) quietly adored his everything in silence. WELL, ree having an intense crush on yankii type characters isnt new, its been my favourite trope for ages (gyarus go in hand with them!!) and im still very attached to it so thats what made me love him in the first place!!!! BUT THEN. I GOT INTO HIS MAHABHARATAN LORE. And OHHHHHHHHH BABY.......... (im twirling my hair) so theres this 7ft tall war criminal..........<3<33<3(mash leans in and informs me that the convention of geneva didnt exist at the time) SO THERES THIS 7 FTTALL IMMORTALMAN.......<233 gOD he makes me absolutely CRAZY9909840385%£%%£%%µ%µ%µ the love i have for this character is immense and whenever im sad i remember that pako exists and has a tablet and can draw and i suddenly feel so much better. ok im gonna stop horny posting a little bit. but hes my wife. AND WHAT I LOVE ABOUT HIS PORTRAYAL IN FGO IS THAT, they actually made him a good boy despite his initial roughness and misdeeds ???!!! HELLO?? ashwatthama wishing for a redemption ark is my favourite thing and his righteousness that was born because of his regrets is a very interesting drivepoint to me !!! hes a gorgeous character and im buying a ticket plane as we speak right now so i can go find him in northern india. i’ll find him. GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME !!!!!GET OFF ME !!!

miss lakshimi makes me very sad! because every female servant in the indo fam is an already known face. (... would sita count.) and lakshi being a jeanneface is a waste. well, she’s still very pretty and her lore is also quite interesting!! i havent looked into it fully yet but i think she should be kissed on the mouth. her bad luck makes me slip on a banana peel whenevr i get close to her to kiss her and i hit my head on the pavement and pass away-

parvati is on a tough spot for me atm. i genuinely love thinking of her as the way the indian goddess herself is portrayed because thats where the fun lies for me in her character. especially when shes involved with other indian servants, thats a given!! i would like to see parvati grow, suffer and heal. because branding her as an “all-knowing mom” is easy, but every single parent makes mistakes if you follow that logic. also, since shes the sakura servant “thats closest to her initial personality”, she’s got some of the most Repulsive fans ive Ever witnessed in fandom spaces and lets say that im trying to work my way out of this hellhole and find things to like about parvati without the fandom’s influence. needless to say, im going to keep looking into her mythos and her lore by myself at my own pace and keep doing my own thing in my little corner.

rama shouldve been a jock. THE RAMAYANA IS OLDER THAN THE MAHABHARATA, WHY IS.....Hrm well him being summoned as his baby version gives me hope for a future rama alt perhaps??? but i think that he shouldve been a total jock and he shouldve been huge with a huge red lion-like mane for his hair and a teethy grin and big biceps and intense love for his wife. SPEAKING OF SITA, her charm point is her purity but i wish.... that their artist still hadnt drawn them like That, im not a fan of lily servants and i think purity = being young is a bit of an annoying excuse!!! rama and sita looking similar is because of their shared history which is fine but... rolls my eyes............. rama shouldve been 6ft tall and sita shouldve been a milf to match...... anyways i doubt ravana would be added as a servant but i’d love to have a ramayana centric event!! where all indo servants have their own lore centric role to play!!! oh thatd be a dream.... but i have learned to not expect much from a fanservice game so im jus gonna draw my own stuff! (strikes a pose!) (mashu claps!)

#answered #long post #SORRY FOR THE BIG SCROLL.

45 notes · View notes

asagi-s-garden · 4 years

Text

It’s time for Dumb Headcanons-

For whatever reason, Kara is the one to carry her and Lena’s first born child, she can’t just vanish for almost a year without saying anything though, I mean what kind of hero would do that?

So she makes a public announcement right after officially finding out that she’s pregnant that she’s “going away for a few months on a personal journey”

Now the thing is, Lena knows her wife, she knows her very well, and she knows that her watching from the sidelines as Alex and the others keep the city safe is going to be incredibly painfull for her, so she decides to take Kara on a vacation for the first few months of pregnancy

Once they get around the second trimester they’re going to have to go into seclusion in a special fortress that Clark and Kate built for her that’s like half Fortress Of Solitude and half Batcave that’s structured to both keep enemies out, and keep Kara in, because they know their girl as well as Lena does (Alex tunes in from skype from time to time to tell them what they’ve done wrong specifically because she knows how crafty Kara is and is just “mmm nope you see that little crack in that wall right there? Yeah she could get through that, I don’t know how, but she could”) Ofcourse freinds and family are welcome to visit because it’d just be cruel otherwise but anyway

Lena knows Kara, she knows that staying cooped up in one place for 5-6 months is going to be hell enough as it is, the full extent of her pregnancy would be a NIGHTMARE, but she also is a little afraid to stay in National City during the first 3-4 months because that would equally be disasterous on Kara’s mental health, seeing shit go down and not being able to help, so she decides to take them on vacation instead, to some of the most peacefull places on Earth, like the New Zealand countryside and a small town in Switzerland and a tiny island that she may possibly own, it seems like a solid plan to begin with, until....

Proof That Lena Luthor Is Supergirl

That’s the headline that starts popping up about four days after they leave and it’s just everywhere, conspiracy theories that Lena is Supergirl because she “vanished“ at the same time that Supergirl left

Kara thinks it’s hilarious, it’s the best laugh she’s had in a week and that’s saying something considering how much time she’s spent watching cute cat videos on the private jet

They have to cut their vacation short so Lena can go back to National City every few weeks, show her face for a few days, and then leave again

Everyone starts making it into an inside joke that they have to be very carefull not to share outside of The Circle of those in the know because otherwise something might slip, Brainy in particular thinks it’s bizarre that Kara just keeps getting more pregnant everytime she comes back and yet somehow no one has tried to pin Lena’s wife, who’s pregnant, as the superhero who has to mysteriously vanish for nine months (because against her better instincts Kara does mention at the press conference that she’ll be returning in June, wich is about nine months from when she announces her departure, somehow no one has picked up on it, until they start with the Lena theory and go “AND HER WIFE IS PREGNANT AND DUE IN JUNE, COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT-” evidently they’ve decided that Lena is leaving because Kara is pregnant, wich isn’t wrong, but still somehow off)

By the time baby Kira Zor El Luthor is born (they made the conscious decision to break from the “L” tradition in Lena’s family only to end up with the “K” tradition in Kara’s completely by accident; their second born will be named Luka and Alex is going to headdesk so hard she bruises) half of National City has started to believe that Lena is Supergirl, somehow, and she and Kara- as Supergirl- have to actually appear together in public and shake hands with people to prove neither one is a hologram before anyone lets the theory die

Other less cohesive headcanons about this insanity-

-Kara insists that she take care of Kira when she wakes up in the middle of the night because to be 100% honest sleep is a luxury, not a necessity, for her- that’s not even being careless with herself, that’s just.... a legitimate fact... she doesn’t really HAVE to sleep very much as long as she’s under the yellow sun so why on earth should she deprive Lena of it???

Lena: Really, it’s ok, I’ve had a lifetime of being denied sleep so at this point I can actually function with out it :)

Kara: That.... that in absolutely no way makes me feel better...... also I have super hearing so I’ll hear her first anyway, there’s no need to wait for you to wake up..

Lena: Oh no that’s fine, I’m hypervigilant and paranoid so I’ll wake up as soon as she starts crying, no superpowers required! :)

Kara: That just makes me feel even worse?????? B-Besides I have a Kryptonian lullaby I can sing to her that works like a charm

Lena: Oh that’s so lovely, I have an old Irish lullaby my mother taught me right before she died that I can’t wait to sing to Kira as the literal only good thing that comes from my family legacy :)

Kara, near tears: ...Have I done something to you today????? ;_;

Lena: ...no?? why???

-The amount of food they go through during Kara’s pregnancy probably could have sustained a small country for atleast a month, it doesn’t seem to matter how much Lena thinks she’s stocking up ahead of time, it’s never enough and she inevitably always has to buy more the very next day, it takes the combined efforts of Barry and Kate to help keep things stocked so Lena isn’t having to constantly be leaving the Bat Fortress (it was the name Kate and Clark finally decided on and no one has the right to veto it no matter how much certain people want to) to restock, they start this Superhero Delivery Service as a Bros Being Bros type of thing, just freinds being freinds and loving their pregnant super freind so very much but after a week it turns into a ruthless competition of what, ultimately, is the better resource- speed or money, Barry has the Speed Force but Kate has every method of transportation imaginable and also drones and by the time Kira is born a rivalry has slowly simmered between them, the likes of wich goes right back to the type of “Who’s faster?” rivalry Barry has with the Supers, that probably won’t end even after they both die, Kara has mixed feelings about being the inadvertent catalyst for this but Nia thinks it’s the best thing that’s ever happened and she and Mary are placing bets

-Lena knows that Kryptonians don’t exactly have the same health issues to worry about that humans do but Kira is going to be atleast part human isn’t she? So Kara has to be willing to step up her health game wile she’s pregnant right??? Nice theory, no dice, Alex tried to warn her but Lena Luthor doesn’t lose and when she wants something she gets it................ unless that something is getting Kara to have a healthier diet, then there’s no force on any planet in any universe that can help

Lena: An apple

Kara: A dozen doughnuts

Lena: One apple

Kara: ...Sixteen doughnuts

Lena: *gently places an apple on the table*

Kara: ....*stares intensely at the box of doughnuts, unblinking*

Lena: ....What are you doing?

Kara: I wonder if I try hard enough if I can develop telekinesis

Lena: No-

-True panic is Lena taking care of Kira at the office wile Kara is off doing the superheroing for the first time in months (nanny? nope, not in this house, the child never leaves our sight, we die like moms) and Kira starts giggling and levitates out of her bassinet wile Lena is on a conference call so her investors are met with a frantic Lena keeping her voice astoundingly level and clear wile running around the office chasing her floating baby, they mostly just get glimpses of her jacket from time to time and, if they ask, are only met with “I have a child now” and absolutely no other explanation

-For the first time since being on Earth Kara is faced with the cosmic joke that is Earth’s gravity during her late months of pregnancy because everything is wobbly and waddly and holy RAO HOW IS IT SO HARD JUST TO GET OFF OF THE FLOOR!?!?! SHE COULD FLY TWO MONTHS AGO AND NOW IT’S A MAJOR STRUGGLE TO PULL HERSELF OFF OF THE COUCH WHAT THE FUCK!?

-Kate has managed to live through four years of having actual freinds who have started to reproduce and never once has she reacted with more than marginally more interested than what she had during Crisis when Kara tried to hand Jon to her, but in those four years all of those freinds have been straight, to be fair, and there’s something a little different about seeing other lesbians with babies that’s mildly more tolerable, first it was Alex and Kelley, then it was Kara and Lena, Sophie and Mary keep cooing over the babies and Kate doesn’t really get that........ until she’s visiting Kara and an alien attacks and Kara is just “hold my baby-” and flies out the window and Kate is Stuck with a sleeping four-month-old and no ability to get to a phone without waking Kira up so she’s just kind of frozen like that for the foreseeable future and when Kara comes back Kate is laying on the couch, Kira sleeping on her chest, looking incredibly relaxed

Kate: Oh you’re back, we’ve had a lovely time

Kara: Awwwwwwwww, see? You are good with babies <3

Kate: Mmmm still going to have to disagree on that but your’s is... not... bad...

Kara: Sooooooo you’ll babysit sometime? :3

Kate: Nope, this last half hour was enough thanks

Kara: Wait until Sophie hears you lasted an entire half hour ;)

Kate: Just hold off telling her for about fifteen years or so, I don’t think we’re ready to live in a world where I can tolerate this for an entire thirty minutes yet

Kara: lol ok

Years later when she eventually ends up taking after her cousin and having a couple of orphans with her name on them she insists to Sophie that it’s Kara’s fault because “that time she made me hold her kid for half an hour did something to me I just know it”, Kara pops in one day after hearing this and just goes “You’re welcome~” before flying off again

And finally-

Kara: Lena honey I think Kira is a little too young to be getting her first suit tailored...

Lena: But she’s already a year old...???

#supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #kate kane #barry allen #clark kent #ficlet #headcanon #not!fic

36 notes · View notes

jin-was-here-2 · 5 years

Text

Ship Questions: McReigns Edition 2

Who In Your Ship:

drives when they go on road trips? do they switch at the halfway point? does one drive there and the other drive back?

It's who ever's less tired or just wants to. It's one of those things they just have to do and want to be over and done with.

Roman is a radio hog no matter if he's the one driving or not.

looks over the menu for fifteen minutes before ordering the same thing they order EVERYWHERE they go? does the other half of your ship get annoyed by this, or do they find it endearing?

Roman's a foodie; he likes to know what all his options are. But a lot of the time he also wants to get something he knows he'll like. Drew finds it annoyingly endearing.

is more likely to get arrested?

...Drew. ...Just... sometimes certain types of people can really set him off and he gets a little... well, psycho. Great for in the ring... not so much in public.

is afraid of rollercoasters? does the other half of your ship try and convince them to face the fear, or do they take a softer approach and not push them at all?

Roman's not big on heights and crazy rides. Prefers the slower stuff. He can actually enjoy those and have fun. Rollercoasters aren't really Drew's thing either way, but he had fun goading Roman on to one once.

"C'mooon. You'll go against anyone and anything in the ring, but a little bumping does you in, Big Dog?"

"First of all, that isn't ''a little'' anything. Second, fine. But if I die I'm coming back to haunt you."

"Pffff. Noted."

shows up at home with a dog unannounced despite the fact they’ve already got three/four/however many pets?

Roman. He loves animals. Especially Dogs. (So do his brothers Seth and Dean. They're all bad influences for each other. When it comes to them.) So what if they already have a pomeranian, two chihuahuas, and a house cat? What's one more cute and fluffy family member? I mean really?

It drives Drew up the wall, because the only one he can really tolerate is the cat (They have a shared understanding of each other) and they always have people coming to their door looking for their bloody animals.

demands that they do date night? does the other person complain or do they go with it just to see the excited look on their partners face?

Roman. He's a total romantic. Mostly for the little shows of it. So the big things aren't something he needs all the time or even often. But there are times when the big ones go a long way with him.

Like they go out a lot, to just be together, however they don't really call them dates. It's just mutually nice. But sometimes Roman's bit by a love bug and wants a date date. And Drew obliges to keep the bf happy because he wants the bf happy.

is the clumsy one whose always tripping up flights of stairs or over their own feet? does it stress the other half of your ship out or do they find it hilarious?

Neither one is really clumsy. In fact, for two behemoths, they're suprising graceful.

*picks the music when they’re in the car? does the other complain about their taste in music?

insists on paying for everything when they’re out? do they fight about it?

Neither one really cares, but sometimes Drew takes it upon himself to be a little annoying. And then Roman will do the same next time to get him back for being a tit.

is the one to quietly suggest they get high together for the first time? how does the other half of your ship react?

Oh man. Well seeing as he has a nice plug in Dean and Renee, Roman. Drew dosen't have anything against it he just happens to not do it. And Roman wanted to see him high sooooooo baaad.

is secretly terrified of horror movies and yet watches them all the time bc its something the other half of your ship loves?

Roman, 'cause Drew likes a good scary movie. And it gives him a reason to curl up to him for comfort. (Which is also why Drew picks them in the first place a lot of the time.) Roman's ok with monster movies; you can physically fight monsters. It's the supernatural stuff that messes with him.

talks in their sleep? does their partner record it and call them out, or not tell them and keep it as a secret so they can keep enjoying it?

Roman talks in his sleep. Mostly loving on his brothers, pets, or Drew in his sleep. Drew secretly loves it. It's pure and soft and for his eyes only. Especially when there are little moans mixed in. He has started something more than once, kissing Roman awake once he heard those.

brings up the conversation of marriage + babies? how does the conversation go?

Roman wants allllll the kids ok. He has too much big dad energy to not want kids. It as to go somewhere. It'd be a long while before they have that conversation though. And Drew's gonna be caught off guard by it no matter when.

has to pull the other back by their back of their sweater when they try and do something stupid in public?

Both have had to. For trying to fight idiots in public. Roman more so 'cause Drew has like zero patience for people's bullshit.

is more likely to pick the other up from the airport with an obnoxiously large cardboard sign? what does the sign say?

YES. It's a dumb joke between them at this point.

Some of Roman's:

"You're evil cat has locked me out the bedroom. So now you're in the dog house. >:c"

"Looking for a tall unapproachable scary man. I'm very worried."

Some of Drew's:

"Here for The Big... Puppy. c:<"

"Looking for my lover. He's big, friendly, and will follow you if you give him food. I'm very not worried."

tries to cook a meal and accidentally almost burns the house down?

Drew. Poor man. Roman will never let him live it down. ...But I mean who burns spaghetti that bad?????

deliberately makes a squeaky chair squeak until the other person flips out?

Roman, 'cause he likes to push Drew's buttons every chance he gets. Rile him up. He thinks he's hot when he's annoyed. ...Especially at him.

falls asleep no matter what position they’re in + needs to be carried to bed?

Roman. He's a very sleepy boy.

They'll be watching a movie in the living room and Drew'll spot him nodding off.

"You better not be falling asleep. I am not carrying you to bed."

"Mmm.....zzzzzzz."

But then he dose. 'Cause he loooove hiiiimmmm.

is the little spoon when they cuddle?

Roman. Uhhhh he's baby??? And Drew pretty much makes sure of it for the most part. But there are times where Roman will snuggle up behind Drew and it's nice.

hates thunderstorms and needs to be comforted for the duration?

Neither one. Storms are whatever.

brings the other breakfast in bed? is it a proper cooked breakfast - or just an old muffin?

Both on occasions. Roman goes all out with a proper home cooked breakfast. Drew was very dimple-y that morning.

Drew went with pre-packaged muffins and yogurt. And Roman was just as touched by it.

convinces the other to go on a hike? do they love it, or are they absolutely miserable?

Drew, but it depends. They both like working out but Roman can be a little lazy or in a mood about it. But by the end he'd have had a good time.

uses emojis in replace of words? does it drive the other person insane?

Roman loves emojis. More so when he finds out Drew hates excessive use of them. It got so bad Drew gave him a limit. No more than two per paragraph or "bad things will happen".

can never admit they’re wrong?

They both have their moments.

lets the dog sleep on the bed when the other isn’t paying attention?

Roman. Everytime he's caught Drew throws a mighty fit. But like the dogs are super cute????? And he wants to be close to them?????

who decorates their house? does the other come home and blink at all the pastel pink and force a smile despite how much they hate it?

Roman's more decorative, but nothing so extreme that Drew hates it. Actually Drew is the one with this lounge chair that's so god-awful that Roman would like to see it burned

is more likely to get into a fight to defend the other?

Drew. It's actually how he realized he was catching feelings for Roman? And Roman highkey likes seeing himself being fought over.

is constantly spewing random facts about absolutely anything and everything? does it annoy the other person or do they find it all interesting?

Drew, and Roman finds it very interesting at times.

is the lovey dovey drunk?

Roman. He gets very touchy-feely. Like more so than usual.

laughs at their own jokes? does the other laugh at the joke… or at their partner?

When the joke or comeback is at the other's expense they laugh at their own joke. It's a hit or miss whether the other laughs at the joke or not.

is competitive about EVERYTHING?

Both. They really bring out the competitiveness out of each other.

apologises first when they have a fight?

Roman. He doesn't like when things aren't ok for too long.

makes the other a flower crown? does the other wear it without complaint or beg not to be embarrassed?

Drew wouldn't be caught dead making or wearing a flower crown.

is more likely to put their fist through a wall when they’re angry?

Either one. As long as it's not their wall. Roman expecially has too much pride in the house .

sends the other memes despite the fact they’re laying in bed next to each other?

Roman. He forgets 'cause Drew, Dean, and Seth are the usual ones he sends things he thinks are funny.

wears the others clothes the most?

Roman. 'Cause he can wear Drew's tops and bottoms. But they basically share pants at this point.

pranks the other on a near constant basis? how does the other react?

They drive each other nuts with how much they mess with each other, already. Only a few times has it turned into a full-blown Prank War. Which Roman is really good at 'cause uhhhh Dean. Drew knows he can't win.

comes up with obnoxiously sappy pet names for the other just to watch them roll their eyes?

Drew. He loves throwing up sarcastic sickeningly sweet pet names. He knows how they sound coming from someone like him. And sometimes he'll say them close to Roman's ear just to see him squirm.

forgets their anniversary

Neither. But we're talking about the big ones.

Roman likes to keep track of the little ones. Ya know, just to think about and reminisce.

is impulsive and makes big choices for them without stopping to think through what it all means?

...Drew. It's something they really have to work on because it has caused a lot of fights. He just gets in these moods sometimes where he "thinks he knows best, and if you don't agree well then that's too damn bad". Roman's used to group compromise. So that kind of attitude get's right up Roman's nose, and he's too strong willed himself to deal with it so they clash.

writes cute messages for the other on the bathroom mirror when they have a shower?

Roman. He'll be brushing his teeth and'll spot the mirror steaming back up from Drew showering and'll write something short and sweet like "love you ♡". And

Then while he's getting dressed Drew'll hug him and kiss his on the head. "You're cute."

has to do the dishes because the other gags any time they stick their hands in the water?

Can I just take the time to say I loathe nasty ass dish water.

Neither really. But Drew really ain't about that life. "We have a dishwasher for a reason."

jumps into the pool without testing the temperature, and who dips their toes in first?

Roman cannonballs without a second thought. He's so used to water. Drew prefers to test it first.

tries to kill bugs in the house… and which one stops them and gets the bug out of the house alive and well?

If there's a bug it needs to go. Preferably with Drew dealing with it.

can speak a second/third/forth language and uses it to annoy the other when they’re fighting?

Neither? If they do they don't annoy each other with it.

says i love you first? does the other immediately say it back?

It was surprisingly Drew. When they weren't at all together or even that friendly with each other but were sleeping together fairly regularly. ...It was a very confusing time. And something that had been bubbling up for awhile.

wins when they arm wrestle?

Ooooo. Oooooooooooo. They're 2-3 'cause Drew just broke the tie. But that's ok. Soon.

gets caught singing some old, corny one direction song to themselves?

Usually it's Roman. But everyone has had What Makes You Beautiful stuck in their head. Everyone. Even big ol' scary Drew.

"...Ar- Are you singing‐?"

"NO."

is forever forcing the other to take selfies with them? does the other person complain every time?

Drew don't do selfies. Or at least not often. Roman doesn't either but they're fun with other people. Drew complains a lot but he does it in the end.

shows up at the others house with chinese food + a six pack of beer when they’re having a bad day?

Roman. Beer and food make everything better.

sends the cheesy good morning/night texts?

When they were apart Roman would always send good night texts. Later on Drew would send morning ones when ever they're apart.

can never admit that they were wrong?

Drew has his moments.

suggests they send out a christmas card together? does the other go for it, or question when they turned into old people?

Roman saw it in movie one year and suggested it. Half for as joke and half because he really wanted to. It'd be funny. ...Nice, maybe? Drew definitely asked when they turned into old people.

is a morning person and who pulls the covers up over their head and begs for five more minutes?

Roman likes his "beauty sleep" and sleepin' in. Hates being woken up. Drew just likes to get his day started.

is constantly insisting they won’t need a jacket before they go out… and then has to steal the others when they get cold?

Oh my god, Drew is the worst with this. It's always, "ahh, I'll be fine". But then not that long into whatever they're doing he'll sit and act like he's not cold, and Roman'll roll his eyes and pass him the extra jacket he brought.

is a smoker and has to deal with the other forever showing them gross photos to try and convince them to quit?

Neither. Ok, occasionally Roman does some jesus cabbage with the boys. Drew dosen't get that hung up over it.

decides they need to go on a health binge and throws out all the sugary food in the house? how does the other react?

Drew did. Once. And never again after. Roman had kittens he was so mad.

holds all the important documents when they’re travelling? why?

Roman. Drew likes to think he can remember everything. He can't.

hates flying? how does the other help them relax before/during/after a flight?

They've done it so much it ain't anything nothing to either.

is more likely to suggest a lil fool around in the bathrooms at a club? how does the other react?

They're both fond of jumping each other in uncompromising places. Especially in the beginning when they were just fooling around with each other.

plans a night of board games for date night, and who plans a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant?

When they do do date dates. It's because Drew knows Roman wants one. And good food goes a long way. But when they want something chill either one pulls out board games.

cries watching the news?

They don't watch the news. Or at least mainstream versions of it.

teases the other one for having a crush on them… despite the fact they’ve been dating for a year?

Roman. Mostly when Drew does something extra soft towards him.

believes in aliens?

Drew. Roman doesn't think much of it. Or it kinda freaks him out if he thinks to much about it. The rare times they're all together and Dean and Drew aren't at each other throats, it's because they're talking about spoopy stuff like that. Roman is amazed every time.

is constantly leaving the lights on in every room in the house?

Neither.

rocks the seat on the ferris wheel?

Drew would have had to really talk him on to it in the first place; he wouldn't be that mean. Maybe Drew would have at the beginning though, when they were enemies with benefits but was just starting to turn into something else.

is a terrible liar?

Ro can't lie to people he cares about to save his life. Baby feels soooo bad. And it's so visible.

is always reading the other their star sign despite the fact they don’t believe in any of it?

Drew. Everytime he sees it in s magazine. He thinks it's absolutely ridiculous how they say something different every time. How many meaning can they have? I mean really.

who panics when mercury goes into retrograde?

Neither even knows what that really means.

insists they watch documentaries to broaden their knowledge?

Drew. But then he'll see one that's wrestling related and they'll end up watching that.

is constantly renovating part of their house but not finishing one thing before moving on to the next?

They aren't home enough for multiple projects. So they'll have one that'll last longer than it'd usually need to take.

uses all the hot water?

ROMAN. It's why Drew is is extra pissy when they have to get up but he doesn't get to the shower fast enough.

"It's all that blood hair you have!"

is the shower person? whose the bath person?

They both like shower. They're quick and they have places to be. But when they have the time Roman suggests a nice long soak together. Helps with soreness sometimes.

is most likely to be unfaithful?

Neither. But if we're looking for angst... Roman might... accidentally... fool around with Dean... or Seth... or something. Maybe there was some pinning on one of there sides. But they were supposed to be just bros. They had some drinks and it just happened? I don't know but drama. Angst.

Bonus:

what is your otps song?

The Mighty Fall In Love by Fall Out Boy

do their families approve of the relationship? why/why not?

Yeah. I like to think everyone's chill. But there's always room for angst there.

whose friends do they hang out with more?

Roman's. Drew don't really have friend friends.

what do they do on their first date? did they have a first date, or did they just sort of… start dating?

Being together just sort of came up and bit them in the ass. They have no idea how or when it happened but they have allll the feelings now so fuck it.

what is their favorite way to spend the holidays? do they go to one of their families houses? or do they create their own tradition by staying in bed listening to christmas music and getting drunk?

They either go to each other's families, their friend's, or just have a little thing for themselves. Roman has a ball cooking special things for them.

what do they name their dog? do the give it a super boring name like allen - or do they name it something like bubblegum princess?

Roman named his pomeranian Tiger, and his chihuahua Tiny and his smaller chihuahua Mini. He baby talks to him a lot.

Drew is just as bad with his two black cats. He just refuses to admit it. He named them Max and Monty.

Y'all I'm bad with names. I donno.

how do they handle emergencies? does one of them crack under the pressure - or do they bicker because they both need to be in control?

They both have a strong need to control things. And it's amplified when things go wrong so they clash there at times too.

how did they meet? were they immediately drawn to each other?

Instant mutual dislike. But strangely attracted.

what do they fight about the most? how do they resolve their fights?

Control. They're both so stubborn and strong willed it causes a lot of friction at times.

Or Drew's refusal to get along with Dean and vice versa.

Inspo (x)

#this. took. so. l o n g.#probably ain't that good but here it is.#roman reigns #drew mcintyre #mcreigns #wwe #ship questions

42 notes · View notes

theconfusedmaiden · 7 years

Text

The EXO’rDium in Manila Day 2

After 1 year and 1 month, the kings are back in Manila!! Exo’rDium in Manila! The boys are back with 2 nights concert. Dated February 25, 2017 for the first day and February 26, 2017 for the second day. It was held at the Araneta Coliseum in Cubao. And guess who's freaking excited? Phixo!! Me!! EVERYBODY!!

Last year, I was in the Lowerbox B, day 2. This year, after so much "Kakuripotan" and “Iponing”,(Thank you 13th month and freelancer.ph!) I was able to purchase the VIP Seated Ticket! Costy? Yes! A LOT! But that was just some of the things that I did for them, even I can't believe it.

And so the nights of the concert came! Sadly, as in SUPER SAD AND FRUSTRATING, Zhang Yixing/Lay won't be able to attend the concerts again. It really broke my poor fangirl heart. I thought that I'll be able to see my love this time but no. Reason, the producer said it's because of his other commitments. Just goes to show how hard working my baby is! However, my guess would be because of some 'politics'. One thing is for sure, It's not his fault! Stop blaming him guys! Let's just wait for the right time that we'll be able to witness his handsomeness in person.

Going back to the concert. I really tried my best not to spazz what's happening from day 1. I promised not to open twitter but then again, I failed. hehe I really got hyped with all those videos uploaded. Guess what, the morning of Feb 26, 2017 my mom saw me smiling right after I woke up. I did it unconsciously. hehehe

My friend whom I met at last year's concert, Raine, also came with me this time. Due to traffic and slow walking people, it's already 4:30 when I got in the venue. Raine, got there first. When we got inside, the coliseum is almost full already! And the stage is sooooo much closer than I thought!! *But my phone camera make it seem like its far. Sorry. hehehe

The concert started at exactly 5:30 pm. I sooo love the opening VCR!! They crowd got soo hyped up!! The opening VCR seemed like it lasted for 10 mins. It's soo cool. I got the "W" feeling after I saw the comic book effects on the video.

And so the concert began!! Wooooohhh!! It's only the first song but I already got tired. I shouted as much as my lungs can take! It's not just me but everyone inside. I couldn't even hear their voices because of the screams!

I didn't get to take a picture of the very first part because I forgot to when I saw them. I don't know what to do first, to capture the moment or to watch the moment. The result:

SAARRREEEHHHH!!

When I finally got to see them clearly, I automatically counted the members present. I know. I know. I just wish that Lay would surprise us that night. Whatever!

The first set of songs include the remix versions of MAMA, Monster and WOLF. I love the remix versions especially the monster because of Baekhyun’s solo dance! PH EXO-Ls cheered for him all through out that part! (Byun Baekhyun!! Byun Baekhyun!! Byun Baekhyun!!)

Here are some of the shots I took from the first set of songs. I didn’t took a lot because I’m busy fangirling. hahaha

MENT TIME!! As usual, the screams were sooooooo freaking loud!! The members introduced themselves in english. It was so fun hearing them speak in english. They were all so excited with the concert! Chen and Kai looked so hot because of their sweat. They were all so hot nowadays!!

However, Baekhyun saw some fans got injured on the standing side. He said on his ment that when another fan got injured, they'll stop the concert. NO!! They asked everyone in the standing area to take a step backwards. Thankfully, they followed them nicely and they didn't need to ask them again.

When it's Suho's time to speak, he was working so hard to finish his ment in english and in the middle of his speech, he paused for a short time. The crowd cheered for him louder! He's so cute! He even took a bow after the screams.

Now it's the second set of songs!! The sexy songs! LOL. They were supposed to have a rain on stage but they didn't push it through, maybe because of the space. The second stage includes White Noise, Thunder, Playboy and the most anticipated Artificial Love! But the stage is still full of their sexy body waves and godly voices.

Here are some snaps!

Kai needs to stop winking and doing a finger heart while he’s covered with sweat. It’s a fangirl’s death!

BUT! Here's the highlight of the second set of songs. The Artificial Love crane Dance!! Woop Woop!! I managed to take a video of Baekhyun in this dance. Here it is:

youtube

Sorry for my voice. As you can hear all I got to say is ‘Oh My god’! hihihi Don't need any explanation.

VCR TIME!

I couldn't forget this VCR! It's because the very first frame is Lay's face! He's so cute! He's so handsome! He's such a boyfriend material! I love seeing them having fun by themselves. I wish they also have a time to party like that by themselves. Just having a lot of fun together.

The sang Unfair with this cute stage set up.

They are wearing all white and their skin is so white so the result from my camera:

Jamming Time! Chanyeol is in charge of the guitar. That curly haired giant was so hyper playing with his guitar that Suho needs to stop him for them to start. Cute! The first song they sang is the good old Hawak Kamay by Yeng Constantino. After a few lines, Suho reminisced the time when they forst sing this song. It was 4 years ago from the DKFC concert. Just about their debut year. They promised to sing a new Filipino Song when they come back next year.

Chanyeol played the acoustic versions of their songs (My Lady, My Turn to Cry, Moonlight, Call Me Baby, Love,Love,Love and Lady Luck) and just like the whole time, PH Exo-Ls sang along with them. I don't care if I got the lyrics wrong, as long as there is melody. HAHAHA! They even let us sing some parts alone. Here are some of the snaps.

They sang What If during this part (but I’m not pretty much sure).

When they were singing, the background shows their serious faces. I didn't forget to take a photo of Lay with the rest of the members. I take a photo everytime he appears on screen.

Here are some of the snaps of the next stages which includes Tender Love and Love Me Right.

The Vocal Line, D.O., Chen, Baekhyun and Suho were left to sing in the middle of the stage. They sang One and Only and Stronger.

Chen's voice is so lovely. He's slowly climbing up on my already ruined bias list. My heart still flatters when I hear them sing live. It's surreal.

Fun Time! Haha. The VCR for their next stage is adorable. The VCR where their heads were huge. All of them are so cute that I wanted to make them into a keychain. Hahaha But D.O. role is the cutest. He's a sleepy head!

Here’s some pics of them with their cutie cutie costumes.

Cutie little Baekhyun dropped his little red hat.

I didn’t get to take too much picture with this stage because this was the time when I stared at their faces one by one. They all look like an angel. Especially Chanyeol, who all throughout this stage is so hyper! He keeps on shuffling and running around each member. I wonder how can they be so cute and handsome and hot, all at the same time.

For the next VCR, the first frame showed ChanBaek riding a motorcycle going to the stadium. While the other members are preparing for the concert. I remember a shot of Lay while sleeping, Kai while having his hair blow dried and the beagle line being beagles.

I thought that all they’ll do for the whole VCR but hey! There’s more! The VCR prepared by the Dance Line! (Kai, Sehun, Lay). I didn’t got to take a full video because I wasn’t prepared. Here’s some part from the VCR. I started capturing on Lay’s part. I remember this performance during one of the awards night last 2016.

youtube

After that, the next set of stages are the, as I call it, “Handsome Stages”. All their stages for their songs like Overdose, Transformer and Lightsaber! Here are some snaps:

I managed to take a video for the last part of their performance for Lightsaber.

youtube

Time for their ment! And this ment is the longest! The only members left were Suho, Chen, Kai and D.O. Chanyeol, Xiumin, Baekhyun and Sehun went backstage to change costumes. They were all wearing just plain black shirt in which they all look hot. (like all the time)

This time, Suho revealed that a lot of them were injured from the first day of concert. He said it was a secret but he also said that they were all healed by how much crazy(in a good way) PH fans are.

Here are some tiny bits that I remember from what they said. D.O. said that he discovered new Filipino food that he likes, ‘Lechon Manok’. He said he didn’t have a chance to taste the pork but he will the next time they come back. Suho also enumearte which places in the PH he wants to visit and it includes Boracay etc. (haha can’t remember). He also asked Kai about what places in the PH he thinks is popular and guess what Jongin said. “Yeogiyo” (This place) (this place is now the most popular).

The leader-nim noticed the fanproject a while ago and he asked for a sample banner. He asked some fans on the standing area for a copy. Like what happened last concert, he held it up and showed it to the members. He also asked us what does the alibata written means. Even though they can’t understand what we’re saying (Imagine thousand of fans explaining at the same time, how would you understand a thing?). They just concluded that it means I Love You. Which is quite right because the alibata written in it is “Iniirog Kita, Bes”.

This time, Baekhyun, Chanyeol Xiumin and Sehun were left on stage while the other went backstage. Baekhyun kept on talking about how crazy PH EXO-Ls are. He once again asked us to stomp our feet and so the whole coliseum sounded like a whole battalion running from somewhere. They were amazed about how passionate we are.

The fans chanted “PHIXO” after that. We are expecting for him to remember us from the concert last year. He named us “PHIXO” last concert after seeing some fans dance from the standing area. Again, they didn’t got to understand what we’re saying. Gladly, after several minutes of chanting, Baekhyun finally understood. “Ahh, Phixo! Philippine EXO!” Finally guys! Finally!!

Now it’s time to party!! Sehun, Xiumin and Chanyeol thought us on how we’ll respond with their next song. “Katchi Katchi Hae!” (Do It Together).

Chanyeol asked us to stand up and just get crazy! You know it’s about to get really crazy! The song is not yet commercially released and it’s just exclusive for the EXO’rDium Concerts! It’s just like Drop That but with a different feels! The Rap Line nailed it! Everybody was on their feet, jumping cheering and getting crazy!

After that Chanyeol had his solo stage with his Electric Guitar skills!

Soon after, the members went out to party with us! Chen, why do you have to show up wearing a muscle tee? Don’t you know how much hot you are with your biceps?! But thank you for showing it, though.

LET’S PARTY!! The fans partied with their songs like Full Moon, Drop That, Let Out The Beast, Lucky and Remix version of Run. Imagine partying with the boys! It’s really unforgettable and we didn’t even feel tired after all!

We finally got time to relax for a bit when they went off stage. It was also several minutes and we seemed to miss them already. We started chanting “E-X-O!”

It’s now the ENCORE STAGE which means the concert is about to end. NO!!! The boys came back wearing their white baseball jersey shirts! They sang Cloud 9, Growl and Lucky one!

I love seeing them goof around while playing with the toys on stage. The one that caught their attention is the moving puppy stuffed toy. Xiumin even played with it while performing. Chen placed it on the side when they were going to dance.

They’re in the middle of their performance but see how Chen and Xiumin look at the little moving puppy.

And here you can see Baekhyun lying on stage. In which Chanyeol also did after their Tender Love stage.

For these songs, they were just roaming around the stage to get close and wave to the fans. The fans threw some stuffed toys on stage and the stage became messy! Hahaha For Lucky One here’s a video a Suho getting all hyped up dancing alone! Our funny Leader everyone. And you can also see how ChanBaek danced together at the back.

youtube

Here’s how they ended their stage for Lucky one. One of my favorite pictures I’ve taken.

Now, time for the last MENT! NOOOOOOOO!!!!

How time flies when you’re having too much fun! All of them said their thanks to us. Suho asked us to anticipate their comeback here next year! YES! YES! YES! Kai said that their 2 day concert in the PH will be unforgettable for him and the members as well.

Baekhyun said that all of them really got crazy that night. Proof? He just sang “I Believe I can Fly” while wearing a pink butterfly wings and a cute white hat. Chanyeol played so well while wearing an Iron man Mask and he pretended to fly and run around the stage. Suho also said that when all of their fan gather in one place he can easily locate where the PH EXO-Ls are. YEP YEP YEP![Filipino fans are one of the best crowd you’ll ever see in the world! And that’s a fact, even Steve Harvey from the Ms. Universe will agree! Hahaha]

The leadernim really got curious about the banner and he maybe asked the Filipino staff backstage about it and for the last time all of the members shouted “Iniirog Kita, Bes. Manila!” We all got Bes-zoned. hahahahaha

Now it’s really their last stage. They sang Angel for the last time. The members roamed the whole stage waving to every section of the coliseum. The member who’s very diligent about waving at every fan he could is the Maknae, Sehun. I even thought that I got an eye contact with him and Kai.

All throughout the concert, we sang all of their songs, from the very first up to the last one) together with them and they even asked us some time to sing it louder! During the VCRs, we also sang their songs even if it’s just instrumental. Now, tell me how dedicated we are the whole concert! hahaha

Before saying Goodbye, they even asked for a picture together. YES!!!! I finally have a picture with them!! hahahaha (as of writing, they still haven’t uploaded the photo) Here’s how they posed for it from my perspective.

Finally, here’s their last moment on stage:

youtube

Yes, it’s me screaming from the background. And again, sorry for my ugly voice. hahaha

I love how Chanyeol screamed “Mahal Ko Kayo!” so long! and As you heard, they promised to come back! Sehun stayed on stage until the screen closed.

Bye boys!! I already miss you big time!! And don’t worry, I’ll be there with you again, next year! I promise! I love you guys!!

PS. I wrote this as detailed as I could because I want it to be properly documented for my future reading, when I want to reminisce the moments I had with them.

PPS. All the photos and videos I used are all mine. The pictures are blurred and unfocused, I know, but don’t bash, my phone doesn’t have a good quality camera.

Sharing with you my edits.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

from your forever fangirl,

-theconfusedmaiden

#EXO #BestConcert #ExordiumInManila #Day2 #February 26 2017 #PH EXO-L #PHIXO #fangirl #theconfusedmaiden

1 note · View note

constantgamer · 7 years

Text

Missing Out on My Good-bye

I spent my entire youth in the company of close friends. My family moved from city to city chasing my dad's dream. He did very well for himself and he made sure that I was fed, safe, and educated. I was such a good boy, In every picture I see, because I honestly cant remember that far back, I am smiling like a goofy kid. As they years go by in photographs I can see my smile fading. I dont know what started it, but I can remember the first day I went bad. I was 17, it had frozen and school was canceled. My dickhead boss that paid me $1.75 per hour called me and said I had to come to work. I knew I was supposed to go in, but for the first time I chose not to do something I was supposed to do. I didnt call or try and make up an excuse, I just didnt. We didnt have cell phones then so getting a hold of someone who wasnt at home and didnt show up to work was impossible. I sat in my beat up ford escort in the parking lot next door to my job and smoked cigarettes and listened to the radio for about an hour. Then I went home, and on the way I felt anxiety about how much trouble I would be in when I arrived and my dad had found out I didnt go in. Walked in the door, mom said some greeting but didnt look mad, walked past the office and dad didnt say a word. I went upstairs and sat down at my desk and I remember every time the phone rang, Pins and Needles. But my boss didnt call. I ate dinner, showered, talked on the phone, and then went to bed. I remember thinking, man that was sooooooo easy, I got worked up for nothing. That was I guess the beggining of my downward slide. There is this mental structure your parents can discipline into you, a fear of failure. If everytime you fail they yell at you, the anticipation of being yelled at prevents you from giving up. However, once you cross that line and you realize that there isnt really anything wrong with saying fuck it, its all a social mind fuck, failing isnt scary. And boy did I test the limits, the next day I just didnt go to school. I left like I was going to school, but stopped in a neighborhood nearby and smoked cigarettes and listened to the radio. Wrote myself a doctors not and signed it with my own signature, and then walked into the school, gave the note to my assistant principle and then walked out. The note said I had contracted a serious illness of a personal nature and that I would require an undetermined number of days off school, and that my school work and lessons were to be collected every week and that I would study from home. And they fucking bought it. Both my folks worked so all I had to do was waste time until they would be gone come home and get on with doing what I wanted. Fuck me, what a dumb ass thing to do. The longer I didnt go to school the more difficult it became to go back. Sure I was picking my work up but I hadnt done any tests or in class work. I kept up in all honesty every few days I would hit the books for an hour and get the basics. About 2 months went by, I was stressed every day I was sure my house of cards would colapse, but it didnt. Not because I was a genious, which I sure thought, but because nobody really knew or remembered me. A transfer kid from another state, no friends, no memories. I remember the day it fell apart, I did what I had done for 5 months, school was going to be out for summer so I needed to get back in. I had already thought about how to rejoin the school, I was just going to go to class early one day and sit down like I had been going the whole time and wing it. But every day came and went and I just hid from my own stupidity. So I left, drove around wasting time, parked my car in the driveway, walked in the back door and up the stairs and I heard my dads voice and froze. He was home sick, and I was busted. He looked at me and asked why I wasnt in school, I said something like I hate it or I dunno. My dad looked at me funny, like I wasnt his kid, shock I guess. So he grabbed me by the arm and said your going to school. I knew it was going to be bad, I tried to have my dad drop me off, and he just drove right up to the front door and said that we had to explain the situation. I will admit for a teenage fuckup I was sharp. I told my dad that I went to the nurses office and that I had an illness of a personal nature and got a pass to leave for the day, and that if he said I was better and returning that I wouldnt get in trouble. We walked into my principles office and he looked at me like I remember you, but I dont at the same time. My dad said my son is feeling better and can go back to class. Principle said okay, well we are glad he is feeling better, thanks for letting us know, dad said is there anything else that needs to be done, principle said nope, I got up started to walk out thinking I was the greatest schemer of all time. And then my principle remembered who I was. He said wait, how many days have you been absent and started punching keys, my dad said oh he was just out for the first class today , hes feeling better, and that was that. I fessed up before they delved any deeper, I remember feeling so calm as I explained everything. Loosing my job, thinking I would just take a week off, and the days turned to weeks and then to months. The strangest thing happened, my principle got up and calmly shut his office door and pulled the blinds closed. He sat down right in front of ne and my dad and said.. This is not going to work out well for me, for you, or you. Thats right, there is a law that says I had to go to X number of days in a school year and I was way short. I hadnt really thought that when I sold my principle that lie that it was his job to catch me. And that he failed to notice or check back on the situation. He was trying to be a board member of education or some crap. He blatantly spoke of how he would not get the spot if word of what I had done got out. He then asked to speak with my dad alone and I was happy to get out of there. I ran out front and started chain smoming cigarettes. About 20 mins later my dad came out. He said alright, you are supposed to go to class, if anyone asks you were sick and are better now. And I thought to myself wow thats it. My dad must have seen me smile and said, your going to be sorry. I had to stay at school for 5 hours every day after classes. I had to do anything they asked, like clean desks, or log books, fill oyt paperwork, clean stuff, repair stuff, paint stuff. Anything they could think of I had to do. I had to take a series of tests for each class to prove I knew the material. And then after school got out for the summer I had to do so much work. I became an indentured servant to the school from 8 to 8. I managed to fullfill the requirements my principle laid out and they gave me a diploma and let me walk. At home it was more of the same, grounded no phone, no tv, no outside. I had no friends, and a sense that I was separated from those around me. After that I was never the same, I fucked up every opportunity I was given and nobody cared. I failed out of college, wasted a lot of ny dads money,. Tried to go back and wasted my own money. I jumped from job to job, never really got any respect, I have never owned a home, found a girl worth marrying wbich almost saved me but she died in a car wreck, and we had no kids. In the fall of my life I just now realized how far from the beaten path I strayed. I have no friends, or love interests, no skills, or education. I am addicted to drugs, and lieing, staying up late and good at going unoticed. I cant go back and fix my life, and I cant move forward in my current situation. I try and get a job that pays enough to support myself but nobody will hire me, its as if they can see through my paper lies and dont want me. I think I am going to end my terrible run of things soon I am so tired of being a failure. My dad looks at me like I am not his son, he stopped trying to motivate me a long time ago. Everyone that is a part of my life wontvlook me in the eyes. I see pity and sorrow in the faces of my life. This situation is of my own doing, and I blame nobody but myself. I honestly just dont want to be alive anymore. Watching everyone around me getting married, and promoted, becoming a dad, creating something, matterung to someone. All I feel is pain and remorse, and a feeling that I missed out. I think its time for me to depart this hell my life has become and get some answers to some questions I have been wondering about for some time. I thought about something today which I think is what will give me the strength I need to accomplish what I am planning to do next. Its been over 3 years since I felt the touch of another human beings skin on my own. No hugs or kisses, no hand in hand, no arm around the waist. I go to sleep alone, wake up alone, and the only people I communicate with are on the web and dont know me. My biggest regret is that I really wanted to be someones dad. I wanted to provide what my father gave me to a copy of myself like he did. But that time has cone and gone too. My advice to anyone who reads this is to make sure anyone you love knows it. You can never tell if you are saying your last goodbye or not.

0 notes