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not-from-the-absence-of-violence · 4 years

Text

On assumptions, understanding, belonging and love.

Moments in Martin's journey understanding other people and finally himself.

Martin's journey in understanding, accepting and loving his asexuality.

a/n: some quick notes: Jon is sex repulsed, Martin is somewhere between neutral and favorable. While Tim and Sasha dont exactlty say they are aro they are! Jon is non-binary and uses he/they pronouns and i desperatly wanted to explore that but this is already twice as long than intended-

also while I am (half) Bolivian and speak spanish I am not at all fluent in Tamil so if there is any mistakes lmk! hope you all enjoy!

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Sasha had convinced them to go get drinks together, as it had been a rather stressful couple of weeks since Martin came back from the siege of his apartment by Jane Prentiss.

Sleeping in the archives was not exactly helping the situation for Martin, or Jon for that matter.

So they decided to go to a pub and try to force a sense of normality everyone really needed.

Martin was having a great time, with the relative calm and safety he hadn’t had in a while, even Jon had something like a smile playing on his lips as Tim told a story from one of his university mates that had accidentally thrown his roommate's engagement ring down a drain.

Martin zoned out for a bit, enjoying the pleasant buzz of the alcohol and his friends laughter and Jon’s animated movements that indicated that he was talking about something he actually found interesting.

Jon was apparently telling his own story with some relation to engagement, something about a girl at a wedding that had acted strangely, Martin caught something about “purposely spilling wine on her dress”, which Martin agreed was quite wierd.

“She was totally trying to woo you, Jon.” Sasha said as Jon got to the bit where they had to help her find some clean towels in a storage closet.

“I assumed she was just having a rather hard time,” Jon said, seemingly only now thinking of the implications of spilling wine on your dress and then faking needing help, to be fair to Jon that was a very weird tactic to pull and Martin would not have put two and two together either.

“Well what did you do in that closet then?” Tim asked with an incredibly over the top suggestive look.

Jon pulled a face then, Martin thought it looked rather endearing really with his nose all scrunched up and his eyes narrowed, but he was clearly uneasy.

“I don’t- I don’t really do… that sort of thing.”

Martin snapped back in the moment, feeling a weird but familiar anxiety in his stomach as the conversation lulled. He felt rather protective for a moment, instinctively knowing this seemed important. This turned out to be rather unnecessary, as Tim spoke up again quickly.

“Oh,” He and then, earnestly, ”I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Jon.”

And then Jon smiled, properly, like he didn’t often and waved his hand dismissively but pleased.

“Thank you, well it's not like you could have known that, but anyway as I was saying-”

It was but a moment, but it stuck with Martin for a bit, mulling it over and not really understanding his own reaction.

Eventually Martin settled back into the pleasant buzz, enjoying his friends chatter and Jon’s over exaggerated hand gestures.

It was an uncharacteristically slow day in the archives, not a worm in sight and Martin had only a bit of boring research to do for a very clearly fake statement.

Martin usually tried to be nice about it but this one featured a guy named “Richard Dickson” and was entirely about a fever dream someone had about a haunted accordion, he had listened to the recording that Jon had emailed him and it sounded like even he was having a very hard time trying not to laugh at it.

“Who comes up with this stuff?” Sasha said as she handed him back the statement. “Sure, I know we are being attacked by a worm woman but I really hope we can draw the line at haunted accordions that play spooky renditions of High School Musical and a prophetic dream guy called Dick Dickson.”

She was laughing too and Martin thought that she looked better than she had in awhile, it was nice, seeing her like this.

“Well at least I won’t have to stay extra time for the research of this one, I would go home early but.” he shrugged and gestured in a you know the whole staying here cause of a worm woman situation, she gave him a sympathetic look.

“Well I am leaving early, got a very fun evening planned.” she said with a wink.

She had looked really rather excited and somewhat giddy all day, Martin realized.

“Oh,” Martin said, “Who is the lucky person then?”

Sasha looked at him puzzled for a few seconds, slowly blinking at him, then the penny dropped.

“What? Oh no, I mean- Tim I guess, we usually have a sort of movie night every once in a while, this one is extra special though, because I found this book about the categorisation of demons, it’s partially in latin? Tim said he would help me look into it. ”

Martin felt his face heat up, feeling the urge to profusely apologize, Sasha continued however:

“It’s not like that though,” she said with a rather annoyed look, and then somewhat softer, “I am not really a dating kind of person, you know?”

Martin wasn’t sure he fully understood what she meant, but that was fine and she was clearly still very excited, so he relaxed.

“Sorry, shouldn’t have assumed, I do hope it’s not one of those books Jon goes on about, they aren't exactly...friendly.”

Her eyes lit up once again.

“Oh it's definitely not a Leitner! I do look out for that sort of thing, the interesting thing about the book is though-”

And she went on for a bit, the moment somewhat unimportant in a way but it still churned in Martin’s mind.

Things with Sasha...shifted after the Jane Prentiss attack, everyone had different ways to cope with trauma of course, Martin knew that.

Maybe that was the thing really, while Tim, Jon and Martin himself were having a hard time processing (even if Tim and Jon refused to properly acknowledge it) Sasha seemed fine, a few weeks of being shaken maybe and she was now back to her regular old self.

She even had a new boyfriend, Martin had no idea why that irked him so much.

He’d said as much to Tim, who was sitting next to him while both slacked off from their jobs on the stairs to the back courtyard of the institute (why there even was a courtyard was one of the great mysteries of this place).

Tim looked uncharacteristically solemn, seldom did he let his walls down like this.

“I thought I was in love with her you know,” he said rather suddenly, “I mean we’ve been friends for years now and there was- is no one I would rather spend time with, so I mean if not her then- then who?”

He sighed and Martin made comforting noise, trying not to break whatever spell had made Tim genuinely speak about his feelings.

“I mean I figured out I wasn’t in love with her before this whole...thing, we talked about it, I think? Some stuff is hazy. Just- I shouldn’t be jealous you know? She is allowed to have a boyfriend.”

“Your feelings are valid no matter what they are.” Martin said seriously.

Tim sighed and leaned into Martin, who enveloped him in his arms.

“Sure, doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck though.”

And well there wasn’t much Martin could say about that.

After a bit of comfortable hugging silence Tim spoke up.

“Maybe her boyfriend is a vampire though, I totally get to be jealous about a vampire.”

“Tim don’t say that.” he said, trying to hide a smile.

“What?” Tim said, pretending to be serious, “Everything is possible Martin, worm women and all that, I could obviously not compete with a vampire and their sexy glittering skin.”

Martin shook his head, not able to contain his laughter anymore.

“Can’t believe you are exposing yourself as someone who watched Twilight.” he said.

Tim smiled wickedly up at him from where he was still half cuddled into him.

“The fact that you got that reference exposes you in turn,” he said, sticking his tongue out, “Check mate.”

“Touché.”

Then Tim stood up and said:

“Well, Time to go back to our trans containment zone.”

“The fact that we just happen to be trans and were transferred to the archives is a coincidence.”

To that Tim only answered: “Trans-ferred Martin, can’t you see? You cannot call that a coincidence.” winked and back in through the door he went.

Martin let out an exaggerated long suffering sigh.

Back inside they walked to their respective desks.

“Well lets hope work gets lets shit.” Tim said. “That’s such a low bar, and yet.”

“Paciencia y fé.” Martin said, which was in his repertoire of spanish phrases that just didn’t pack the same punch in english along with “ya pasara” and “digamos que si”.

Tim shrugged.

“Don’t think whatever grandmother made up that phrase could have imagined it being applied to our situation.”

“And yet we still have to hope for it to get better don’t we, see it works.”

Tim flashed him one last smile as he sat at his desk and Martin went to put on the kettle.

Martin had assumed Jon’s I-don’t-do-that-sort-of-thing included dating as well and it hadn’t bothered him really, he enjoyed clinging to his crush to Jon like a small steady comfort, even if he knew it wasn’t actually going to amount to anything, there was no harm in day dreaming after all and Martin was perfectly capable of caring about him as a friend too, it was harmless.

Of course the fact that he now knew Jon had been staying at his ex-girlfriends place and the fact that Jon might actually date people didn’t really change anything.

At least that is what Martin tried to tell himself as he shakily poured two cups of tea and mustered the courage to walk to Jon’s office.

And he was at least a little right, even if Jon dated people, even if Jon would return his feelings (which Martin really did not let himself dwell on), these were particularly unfavourable circumstances to start a relationship, there was the matter that neither of them was able to string together a conversation, because the mundane ones sounded so inane and hollow and the important ones required being genuine and vulnerable and they might just be somewhat allergic to that.

And there was the matter of the impending apocalypse they had to stop.

Martin knocked on the door and he heard a soft: “Come in, Martin.” from the other side of the door.

The office was a mess as always and Jon looked like he hadn’t slept in a week and had aged about ten years in the last few months.

But Martin’s breath caught in his throat anyway because, as was usual for Jon now, he also looked just a little more...comfortable, as you could anyway. They were wearing a hoodie with cats on it that was just slightly too big and a long flowy patterned skirt.

Jon clearly caught martin staring because he ran his hand through his hair a bit self-consciously and said: “I know it goes against dress code, but I think you get a pass after you get kidnapped by an evil circus.”

“Oh I mean, you look nice, I mean it looks nice on you. I didn’t mean to uhm, stare?”

“It was- I was just joking.”

“Oh.”

They just stared at each other, painful silence falling over them.

Jon broke the silence clearing their throat.

“So... you brought tea?” They said.

“Yeah, it's for you.” Martin said and immediately cringed because who else would he have brought Jon’s favorite chai exactly the way he always takes it.

Jon smiled though, reaching out to take the cup from him. Their hands brushed just a little and Martin's brain briefly shut down and he realised that maybe he should admit to himself he was really hopeless and too far gone.

That is though, how he ended up stupidly staring at Jon’s hands and how he spotted the shiny black ring on the middle finger of his right hand.

“Thats a nice ring, don’t think I have ever seen you wear jewelry before.”

That seemed to snap the tension out of the moment a little, Jon looked down at the ring and smiled a little.

“It's an ace ring,” they said, “I used to wear it a lot a while back, not sure why I fell out of the habit, but now I guess I think I am allowed whatever small comfort I can get.”

They were looking at the ring and then at Martin.

Martin wanted to freeze the image right there, at the small not quite guilty smile Jon had as he looked up at him, at the feeling that things were OK, good even just for a bit.

Then something fell off Jon's desk and they both startled, flinching at the sudden loud noise.

All the worry and tension flooded back into the room immediately.

“Right.” Jon said. “Did you need anything else?”

Martin wasn’t sure how to even answer that.

So he just shook his head and started to leave.

Just before he was about to turn around Jon called his name, Martin turned around to face Jon that seemed to be fighting for the words he wanted to say.

“Yes, Jon?”

“Thank you.”

Martin smiled a sad smile.

“Anytime.”

It’t not that Martin had never heard the word asexual before, or that he didn’t know Jon was ace, he’d just never dwelled much on the actual meaning of it.

He had however never heard of ace rings before and he gave it a google for curiosity's sake.

A black ring usually wore on the right middle finger to indicate the wearer is asexual (“ace”).

It seemed nice to Martin, small token of your connection to a community, of course his curiosity did not end there, he had assumed previously Jon didn’t do relationships at all, and if he did, what did asexual mean then?

He found out rather quickly that asexuality was about sexual attraction, and aromantic was another thing all together, he also found out that asexuality didn’t mean a person couldn't have a libido, or like sex.

And maybe he just stood there staring at his laptop screen for a while knowing that sexual attraction had never really made sense to him, maybe it felt like something clicked.

And so knowing he definitely did not have the time or the emotional energy to deal with it he quickly closed his laptop, he had an apocalypse to stop and a boss to dispose of after all.

Martin was trying very hard to read Hija de la fortuna by Isabel Allende, every other sentence he sighed and grabbed his phone to look up a word the meaning of which he didn’t know.

It was frustrating, he once had been almost fluid in spanish as a child, but then his dad had left and his mother wasn’t able to and didn’t want to maintain his fluency. He hadn’t exactly had time or money for classes either and so now he attempted to regain some of it by watching movies and reading books.

It was not just the language of course that made it hard, Martin was so entirely full of worry. It was rare he got to spend a day in his flat these days, usually cooped up in the Institute hiding from something, or at the side of Jon's hospital bed talking to him, reading to him on occasion.

The anxiety, the fear, the pain, it had festered into Martin, the tiniest sounds made him jump and even when he got tiny little moments in which he wanted to, needed to, rest he still felt like a watched prey animal, or the full force of grief threatening to crush him.

Today he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, nothing remarkable had happened in a handful of days and it made him uneasy, he was waiting for Melanie to call him about a new attack, he was waiting for Peter to summon him with a weird cryptic request.

And you would think that with all this other worry he wouldn’t be fretting about his sexuality.

But apparently there was plenty of anxiety to go around for all the areas in his life and he just couldn’t get that moment, months ago now, out of his head.

He sighed at set the book aside, grabbing his phone and opening google.

He felt like he was 14 again asking his mother what gay meant and getting only a nasty look in return, or 17 and anxiously looking for a book about being trans in the library.

It was silly to look it up and read articles about how to know you were ace, because he already knew somewhere, but he desperately needed the confirmation.

The third or so blog post he opened was about a woman in her 50’s that had recently figured out she was ace.

Its freeing the article read it’s freeing to be who you are and to understand yourself better, even if you aren’t sure, its OK, it will be OK.

Martin was only crying a little, he laid down his phone and stared at the wall.

He thought about how he had never quite fit, he wasn’t quite english, not with the people asking him where he had come from or asking his mother as a child where she had gotten him from. He wasn’t Bolivian either, he had never been there, his spanish was limited, he could only cook about three and a half recipes that the internet had taught him.

He had never been a woman and he would never fit what society thought of as a man. And what that exactly meant for his relationships.

He never understood other people, but he never thought he was bad enough to seek help for it.

Sexual attraction was vague and he didn’t get it, but in the few relationships he had had in the past he hadn’t minded sex, he enjoyed watching a nice movie together just as much but there was a nicety to it, especially taking care of someone else, having them unravel infront of you. And he had found it weird that he didn’t want anything back, that he felt uncomfortable sometimes.

He imagined he meant he was wrong, like with everything else Martin Blackwood also couldn’t do that right.

But maybe there was something here, in Martins corner of human experience, in the small stack of books about Bolivia that he read, in the trans pin on his backpack and patches he sewed onto his clothes, in calling himself gay man even if that didn’t cover the nuances because it felt good, in the chew necklace that hung around his neck because it eased his anxiety.

Just like all of those things, Martin was ace, he wasn’t wrong or broken he was just different and there were all those other people who were different too and it was nice.

And Martin was crying because of the overwhelming sense of belonging, and because he finally understood Tim when he had once asked “But what does romance even mean, Martin?” and he would never get to tell him, because this is yet another thing he and Jon could have talked about if the world had been kinder to them, this is something he could be talking about to Jon if he wasn’t in a coma.

But even in these miserable circumstances Martin made sense to himself a little more and no one could take that away from him.

The past week in the safehouse had been a whirlwind of emotions, but both Jon and Martin were trying, trying hard to heal, to learn how to feel safe again, to love each other.

For all that trying they hadn’t talked about it much, it was hard still, but Martin was quietly holding on to the hope that they would get there.

Today had been quiet, with the biggest setback being that Jon had found it hard to find all the ingredients for the sambar he wanted to make for dinner.

“I know it won't be like my Pāṭṭi (பாட்டி) taught me, but you would think they would at least have coconut.”

Martin found their grumpiness adorable, reveled in the mundaneness of this worry. And he hadn’t been able to contain his laughter when they finally had found coconut and Jon had held it up triumphantly.

The food had been delicious and now they sat on the couch, it was hard Martin craved touch so dearly but it was like stepping into hot water after standing on ice for a while and Jon flinched so often, not used to not being hurt and sometimes Martin’s unnaturally cold skin brought up unpleasant memories.

They could have wallowed in guit and yearning, but they were both stubborn, and so even if it took a while and millions of slow movements and asking if something was OK they managed.

So it was that Jon had his legs draped over Martin's lap, enough to bring comfort, not too much as to be overwhelming, and their hands were lightly on top of eachother.

Jon seemed pensive, but not worried, Martin shot him a questioning glance.

“We went at this in such a sideward way,” Jon said, “I mean we live together now but we haven’t really...talked about it. We never- we never asked?”

There was a beat of silence where Martin just looked at Jon and then a smile spread over Martin's face.

“Jonathan Sims do you want to ask me out?”

Jon averted their gaze in a way that meant even though Martin couldn’t see it they were definitely blushing.

Martin just couldn’t contain his delighted laughter.

“Must you laugh at me,” Jon said, faking offence, he was also smiling now.

A bit of seriousness returned to his voice as he spoke up again.

“I don’t care that we have done it all backwards Martin,” they said, “But, I love you.”

And as he said that Martin stared at him, mouth agape and his heart thundering in his chest, he lost his ability in any language. Jon said it firmly and securely and Martin really didn’t know what he was supposed to do with all the feelings he had, Jon continued however.

“And we don’t have to do anything but it just feels like we are dancing around several conver- Martin? Are you alright?”

It was only then Martin realised he was crying and he could only ask:

“You love me?”

Not because he didn’t know, but because sometimes you just need the confirmation.

Jon squeezed his hand gently.

“Of course I do.”

Martin wanted so badly to answer him, to reproach but he couldn’t, not yet, instead he blurted.

“May I kiss you?”

Jon smiled, a tad nervously.

“That's sort of what I wanted to talk about,” they said, “boundaries?”

Martin understood the necessity of such conversations he really did, but it did not mean he was going to enjoy them.

It did come as a surprise however that Jon suddenly got very nervous and said.

“I mean- I just- I am ace, Martin.”

Martin cokced his head in confusion and said:

“Yeah, I know.”

Jon mirrored his confused look.

“You do?” and then more sour, “You listened to the tape?”

And fine Martin admitted to himself, maybe they should talk more.

“No? You told me, like ages ago.”

Jon laughed, relieved, happy.

“Sorry,” he said, “Ironically my memory is foggy. It has been a rough couple of...years.”

Martin hummed something of affirmation, because he also knew this seemed like a nice moment to come out, and he felt the very familiar anxiety in his belly. Idiotic anxiety because Jon was also ace and there were no stakes in this situation at all.

Maybe it was just the fact that he had never said it aloud.

Martin heard himself speak:

“I think I am too,” and he could hear how stupidly nervous he sounded, “ace, I mean.”

There was a vague ringing in his ear and if he had been in the position to he might have just run out of the room, apparently facing down unknowable monsters didn’t make coming out easier.

His fear was cut down by the fact that Jon was absolutely beaming at him.

“That's great!” they said, “I mean not that I would have minded if- but it is nice to have someone understand, that's all.”

It was, it was amazing to have Jon here smiling up at him holding his hand and understanding him.

“It really is,” Martin said, then gently bringing the back of Jon’s hand to his cheek and leaning into it, “Doesn’t mean we don’t have to talk boundaries though.”

Jon smiled at the small gesture and then said serious:

“I don’t want to have sex, ever.”

Martin knew it sounded like people had tried to debate them on it before and it made his chest ache.

“I know,” he answered and then because honesty was key, “I am not adverse to it, but obviously if you don’t want to, we won’t, ever.”

Jon sat up a bit then, lifting his hand from Martins and gently cupping his cheek. Martin's pulse quickened, his hand moving almost automatically to Jon’s arm.

“How do you feel about kissing?” he asked.

“It's nice,” Jon said, smiling a bit cheekily leaning forward, “So long as it isn’t tongue kissing that is.”

Martin leaned forward until their breaths mingled at their lips where all but touching.

“May I kiss you then?” He asked, breathless.

Jon could only nod and they both leaned forward the last inch.

Time must have stopped for a bit as they kissed, gentle and full of a thousand promises.

They both moved away from the kiss gently, they were both tearing up a little, Martin felt so much so strongly and he pulled away from Jon completely.

“Just need a moment.” he said and smiled at Jon's reassuringly if a bit shaky.

“Take all the time you need,” Jon said and then softer, “Anything you need.”

And Martin was sure he had never loved anyone more.

On the fourth day of their third week in Scotland Jon had gone to run some errands in town and had come back with an incredibly nervous air about him they were sitting across from Martin at the table twirling their hair and checking his pocket every once in a while.

It was making Martin incredibly antsy and by the third time Jon had looked like he wanted to say something only to then go back to the crossword he was definitely making no progress on Martin had had enough.

“Sol mio,” Martin said, very much enjoying Jon’s wide eyed flustered he always got when Martin called him pet names. “Will you please tell me what is wrong.”

Jon looked at him sheepishly.

“There is not something wrong, per se.”

Martin gave him a look.

Jon sighed and stood up, grabbing a small box from his pocket.

“Nothing is wrong I just… bought something for you beloved.”

Martin very nearly had a heart attack when Jon opened the box and there was a ring inside. Upon closer inspection it was a beautiful black ring and Martin understood.

There was silence as Martin could do no more but stare at the ring and then at Jon.

“I see how a ring might come over as a gift now,” Jon rambled nervously, “it is not like that- I mean that is something we will have to talk about. I was afraid it would be too much? It is engraved too and I just hope I didn’t-”

Martin cut him off: “Jon let me see it properly.”

Jon handed him the ring.

Martin lifted the ring out of the box and saw the engraving on it.

நான் உன்னைக் காதலிக்கிறேன். I love you. Te amo.

Martin promptly sat down again, it was so sappy, just a tad ridiculous and stupidly cute. It hurt in his chest and tears stung in his eyes.

“How did you know I wanted one?” he asked, because he didn't know what else to say.

Jon rubbed the back of his neck self consciously and said:

“You were talking a few days ago, about how you would like something like a- like a token, to remind you and I thought an ace ring might be nice.”

They lifted their right hand.

“We match now.”

Martin silently moved to put the ring on, it fit perfectly. He ran his fingers over the tiny groves of the words on it.

An anchor.

A small reminder that he belonged, here in the world, here with Jon.

Martin stood up and gently enveloped Jon in a hug.

“Thank you,” he murmured into Jons hair as he placed a small kiss on top of their crown. “It’s perfect.”

#jonmartin #ace!jon #ace!martin #the magnus archives #tma #magpod #trans!martin #trans!jon #the whole thing is incredibly self indulgent #magnus archives fic #ao3 link will be in rb ig #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #tim stoker #sasha james #my writing

54 notes · View notes

p1nkwitch · 3 years

Note

Hi, I really like you writing. Could I get 51. for some ship with Jon? (preferably jongerry, but if you don't ship it jonmartin is fine too. also feel free to make is as soft as you want!)

Oh no no, I love JonGerry i actually like it more than Jmart. The potential was there so here!! Have some fluffy and fun bbys enjoying hanging out.

51- Public kiss JonGerry

Au where they work in a normal job

Jon is nervous, the institute is having a party and Tim invited him to hang out with everyone and he was already panicking. He is their boss, but he had been so insistent and when he mentioned that they haven't been able to just spend time in a group since his promotion…

Made him cave in feeling guilty.

Still he was very worried that he might make the wrong impression, Gerry who was cuddling Melon Princess looked at him amused from the couch.

“What?” He is snippy which is not fair, still he knows him enough to just snort an answer back.

“Cmon Jon, you said Tim is your friend. I'm sure it won't go badly” He doesn't understand, he doesn't.

“Yes, but that was before, now i'm his boss and- and i know i didn't deserve it, but i wanted that promotion and maybe they don't-” A cat is put in front of his face.

“Hi dad, mew, i think you are being paranoiiid, pet me and it will calm you down!” The complete dry tone makes him choke a laugh and pick up Melon from him.

“Thanks” He shrugs and kisses his cheek.

“How about this, I tag along, if anything they will be more focused on me that in you?” Usually he would refuse him, but he deflates and agrees, anything to keep him more calm will do.

“Please..” Gerry smiles at him and Jon feels his cheeks burn, he is so lucky to have met him, and to be the recipient of said smile. Gerry was far more… subdued before, but now he is far more open and he is happy to think he helped and likewise he is helping him too to not be so closed off.

“Of course, I will change, I'm sure they will be far more focused on my hair, apparently everyone is!!!” Jon snorts and sits to wait for him.

“Maybe if you let me help dye it-”

“Oh fuck off Sims-!!” He grins.

They all stare. Sasha, Tim and Martin all stare, not at him, but at Gerry who decided to come in his favourite clothes, which, now that he thinks about it, are not exactly what you would wear for an office party, but he had been so relieved that he did not question it until it was too late.

“So this is my boyfriend Gerry, i… hope you don't mind? I remembered you always insisted on seeing a picture…” Tim opens his mouth and closes it a few times, but ends up grinning like he saw the best thing ever.

“Pleasure to meet you Gerry!!” Sasha and Martin also say hi and then they all go to get some drinks and talk while everyone at the institute sort of mingles around. Its a little bit awkward at first but once Sasha asks about Gerry's job and he mentions that he sells paintings he makes plus working half time in his own bookstore, things smooth out fairly easily.

Tim talks with him and gets Martin to join, who looked a little bit uncomfortable, but was ultimately by the end of it having fun. Jon feels Gerry interlace their fingers under the table and he smiles.

At one point Tim, slightly drunk, declares they should have a karaoke contest. Elias for some god forsaken reason had thought it would be a nice addition to it, drunk or tipsy people would all go there. In fact he has seen several people from research perform a group rendition of bohemia rhapsody in slightly off key tune.

Jon was also as a matter of fact tipsy, not enough to just embarrass himself like that, he has actually a fairly good tolerance for alcohol. Sasha joined him and after egging Martin one the three made their way there. He picked his cellphone and went to record.

“They are nice”

“Mm” He keeps recording Tim trying to do a slightly bad macarena while singing total eclipse of the heart with Sasha and Martin.

“It looks like they are having fun…”

“Yeah, im making sure they will remember on monday”

“... Jon” He turns at him and sees the mischief. Oh no.

“Err yes?”

“I never sang karaoke” And. well shit. He lets out a breath,

“Awful and incorregible” His lips are up in a crooked smile that is more accentuated by the dark purple lipstick.

“Fine, fine!” Gerry grins so joyfully and happily that it feels like he was staring at the moon all pale and beautiful, his boyfriend leans forwards and feeling his breath catch on his throat he closes his eyes and lets him kiss him. His left hand goes to his cheek to caress it and he has to lean back a little bit because he presses himself closer, Jon feels giddy, its nothing beyond their lips pressing together by his own personal preference towards the activity, but no matter how many times it always feels just as perfect as the first time it happened all those years ago.

Gerry pulls back a little bit and kisses him softly a few more time, each one making him feel more and more like he was floating, but before he could say anything the bubble he is in burst when someone wolf whistles at them and then-

That's when he remembers that he is at a work party and he got kissed by his boyfriend in front of everyone. Gerry must realize it too, because he flushes too but smiles nonetheless.

“OY, DONT MESH WITH MY MATE. I CAN KISH TOO-” Tim who was very brave, drunk and trying to help , grabs Sasha and kisses her, before turning to Martin’s and giving him one too.

Everyone around who was in a relationship looked at him, shrugged and kissed their partners while the others cheered them on.

Jon snorts and then starts to laugh incredulously. Gerry joins him and he ends up putting his hands on his shoulders while he grabs his waist, they lean against each other laughing and actually spinning a little bit at the ridiculousness while adding a few more kisses along the way, even if everyone was watching no one seemed to care. And Jon felt finally at ease.

Enough so that he sang a few songs with Gerry who looked way too happy and managed to snatch a few more kisses. That is until he decides to sing the song that he was Performing the day he met Gerry while at a mechanisms concert.

To say that everyone lost it by the end of Red Signal would not be an exaggeration.

Jon had a lot of fun and seeing his boyfriend laugh and joke with Tim and the others while holding his hand, he felt that things were settling better than expected.

By the time they are in bed that night he kisses him a last time before turning off the lights and telling him how much he loves him, he always looks surprised by it, but while blushing a little at it, even now, he tells him as much.

“Thanks for coming”

“Thanks for amusing me and dedicating me that rendition, I think Tim almost has a conniption” Jon laughs.

“He wanted my secret past, he got it”

“That he did gnight... jonny”

“Shut up.... Night Ger”

#writing prompt #jongerry #i love them #they deserve nice things #i love gerry so much #i hope you like it and it doesnt dissapoint!!

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jazzviewswithcjshearn · 4 years

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A deeper look at: Thelonious Monk: Palo Alto (Impulse!/Sony /Legacy, 2020)

Thelonious Monk: piano; Charlie Rouse: tenor saxophone; Larry Gales: bass; Ben Riley: drums

Palo Alto, the much awaited archival find from Thelonious Monk recorded in 1968, serves as arguably the most significant release in two decades in what has seen a number of finds from the iconic pianist. The last 16 years have seen quite a few releases of “new” Monk; Live at The Olympia (Thelonious Records, 2004) the revelatory and now classic Thelonious Monk and John Coltrane at Carnegie Hall (Blue Note, 2005) and Paris, 1969 (Blue Note, 2013) which documented one of the pianist's final bands with tenor saxophonist Paul Jeffry, and a guest appearance from one of the Magnificent 7 of modern jazz drummers: Philly Joe Jones. What makes this new release so important is it stands as a mirror for contemporary times in the present moment-- How music can bring individuals together in times of racial and social crisis.

The dream of integration in the highly segregated town of Palo Alto, California if only for one afternoon, was brought about by a student at Palo Alto High School, Danny Scher. Scher had an unusual and voracious appetite for jazz beginning as an elementary school student, playing in the school band, lead his own dixieland group and taught lectures on jazz history. In order to quench his thirst for jazz, he would speak with local jazz disc jockeys and assist in helping hang up posters for artist's concerts. Knowing this incredible enthusiasm in such a young person was a rare occurrence, the DJ's would give out the musician's phone numbers to Scher so he could start booking them. Thelonious Monk was an idol for the booking prodigy and he contacted Monk's manager to discuss terms for bringing the iconic pianist to play at his high school. However due to racial tensions, Palo Alto being a predominantly white town, and the fact that Scher was promoting a black artist, the tickets for the event, with their (thinking of the present era) incredible $2 price tag were not moving as the community, and country at large were reeling over the death of Robert Kennedy and the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. Further, no one thought the pianist would show.

To complicate things, when Scher phoned Monk at the Jazz Workshop where he was the featured attraction, the pianist was simply unaware of the plans the high school student had to bring him in for the concert. After being assured he could get to and from Palo Alto high school via Scher's brother, in the pouring rain Monk's quartet with tenor saxophonist Charlie Rouse, (a member since 1959), bassist Larry Gales, and drummer Ben Riley arrived in a white van to eager fans, black and white. Scher would later go on to be the most important bookers in jazz and rock, booking and managing Jon Hendricks from his college dorm room, and later working with Bill Graham for over 20 years.

By the time of the October afternoon show, this iteration of the Monk Quartet had been together for five years. Gales had replaced Butch Warren and Riley, Frankie Dunlop. As 1968 rolled around, the pianist was having a tough year. The pianist had been in a coma as a result of several seizures and was being charged for studio time by Columbia, whom his tenure was ending with initially convened with the indispensable Monk's Dream (1962) and by the late 60′s he was playing his music the way he wanted.

Columbia had tried unsuccessfully to market him to the younger demographic, by creating the memorable, outrageous cover to Underground (1968) portraying the pianist, seated at a basement upright piano adorned with bottles of spirits, as if in a saloon, rifle strapped to his side with a Nazi SS member tied up in the background in a bit of absurdity. Monk’s Blues, recorded that same year but released in 1969, flanked Monk’s quartet with Oliver Nelson arrangements, in an attempt at recapturing the vitality and creativity of Hal Overton’s charts for the classic albums The Thelonious Monk Orchestra At Town Hall (Riverside, 1959) and Big Band And Quartet In Concert (Columbia, 1963) but the album was met with mixed critical reaction.

While many Monk devotees regard the groundbreaking Blue Note recordings, his Prestige and most notably Riverside catalog as the pinnacle, he settled into a comfortable groove at Columbia with little in the way of surprises, but the beauty of this newly discovered recording are the levels of interplay it contained. It can be argued that Charlie Rouse, as great as John Coltrane, Sonny Rollins and Johnny Griffin were at understanding the nuances of the pianist's music (Hank Mobley also served an undocumented stint), was the ideal foil for Monk. Rouse did have devices to be sure, but was wonderful at spinning inventive improvisations, as he does on the opening ballad “Ruby My Dear” here, wrapping the tune in a romantic, velvety longing. He finds delight in the uptempo material, launched by the pianist's provocative figures and mining the freedom when he's left to stroll on “Blue Monk” really laying into the cushion the rhythm section sets for him. Larry Gales provided superb bass lines with forward motion to the group and it is fascinating to compare his choruses of walking on The Complete Live At The It Club (Columbia/Legacy, 1998 rel. 1964) to his solos here that get to the heart of matter. He brings an agile fluency to “ Well You Needn't”, flexing his chops, even taking time to humorously quote “Boo Boo's Birthday”. Throughout the set the pianist showcases his gift with melodic variation in a solo rendition of “Don't Blame Me” which demonstrates this to the fullest, his left hand providing steady stride rhythms giving illusions of a complete rhythm section, his right often ornamenting with patented whole tone runs. Ben Riley is unusually energetic and responsive and contributes exciting, extroverted comping on “Well You Needn't” and “Blue Monk” also supplying some strong, inventive soloing, sticking and moving like a boxer with a strong jab and swift combinations. Perhaps the biggest surprise of the 47 minute set is Monk's brief reading of “I Love You Sweetheart of All My Dreams” as an encore. He was always great at choosing some off the beaten path repertoire and his comment to the audience, “we gotta go to work, you dig?” ends the set on a rapturous note.

Sound:

For a recording made by the Palo Alto High School janitor, Palo Alto is surprisingly good. The recording is mono, with Rouse's biting tone palpable, Monk's piano somewhat under recorded in the background. If there are minor quibbles to be made, Gales bass is VERY heavy in the recording and there is a hollowness to Riley's cymbals that carries a bit through to his brush work. All things considered, the recording which is from a 24 bit/44.1 review copy WAV file conveys a certain excitement that the Focal Chorus 716 speakers capture fairly well-- being matter of fact speakers which may be far from glamorous for some, tell the truth.

Concluding thoughts:

While Palo Alto finds the Thelonious Monk Quartet examining their typical set list there is a particularly energy that makes this new find a joy to hear. Those starting with Monk are advised not to start here but at the classic Blue Note, and Riverside recordings as well as a few of the Columbia albums, but for Monk fanatics it's a worthy find. The fact the group was promote harmony in a community and country in turmoil and perhaps the unusual high school gym venue was something that clearly inspired them as they gave the audience at Palo Alto High School a sparkling show.

Music rating: 8.5/10

Sound rating:7/10

Equipment used:

HP Pavilion laptop

Yamaha RS 202 stereo receiver

Focal Chorus 716 Floor standing speakers

Schiit Modius DAC

youtube

#thelonious monk #jazz #impulse #piano #unreleased

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letmecomplainnow · 5 years

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Melodifestivalen 2019 Deltävling 3 Review

@all of you who listen to the snippets when they're released: I don't understand your taste and never will. Everyone was raving about the quality last week and the show was mediocre as hell. Everybody seemed to think this week was going to be terrible but I thought this heat was much stronger than last week. And luckily I have an honorary degree in understanding how Swedish people react to pop music so I could prepare myself for the inevitable robberies *insert disappointed_but_not_surprised.jpeg* here.

Btw, Eric Saade's rendition of Satellit was awesome.

1. The Lovers of Valdaro - Somebody Wants

I wasn't sure what to expect when this started but by the time we got to the second chorus I was loving it. The production was fantastic and I really liked the futuristic staging. Also, WE FINALLY GOT EDIN JUSUFRAMIC IN A PERFORMANCE, ABOUT TIME. Unfortunately the song wasn't as immediate as it needed to be and they're a completely new name which didn't help them. It was kind of awkward when the camera cut to the guy at the back of the stage too, showing no emotion whatsoever. Also, I'm now just realising that this is like "Friend of a Friend" but a lot better. Loved it.

2. Dolly Style - Habibi

AND THE BOPS DON'T STOP. As somebody reviewing the show, I'm going to be covering all of the acts 👀. This was Dolly Style's best song yet and they've never had a vocal this strong - attributed to the fact that this is a completely different lineup lol. If all the performers are different people is it still the same group? Discuss. Nevertheless, this was catchy as hell and had a cute dance. After they won the audience poll and seeing the performance I was certain they were going through in some form. But alas, I knew the concept of Dolly Style going directly to the final was too good to be true. 💔

3. Martin Stenmarck - Låt Skiten Brinna

This was a little better than I expected. The light show was cool, especially the part with the lighting on the floor. Martin's vocals were strong. I'm kind of indifferent to the song though. I think the tempo feels a bit off? Like it should be a little faster or a little slower. I appreciate the modern touches in the production but it felt very much like somebody wrote a dated song and then tried to fix it. In another year, I'd say this doesn't have a hope in Andra Chansen. But, the voting is unusual this year and Andra Chansen is shaping up to be a weird one so we'll see.

4. Lina Hedlund - Victorious

Sweden, why you gotta be so basic? After the running order was announced I was certain this was gonna pull a "Party Voice". Performing 4th in the 3rd semi, middle-aged schlager queen returns and everyone goes wild. In all honesty, I haven't followed Melfest for long enough to see schlager reign supreme firsthand but I'm so over people trying to revive it. Krista Siegfrids tried, Jessica Andersson tried, and Linda Hedlund is trying it now. If the public give this kind of act any support it just gets tanked by juries. I'm not saying I don't like trashy pop (I'm a massive Dinah Nah fan lol) but a song like this needs a strong hook and a memorable stage performance. I'm sorry but the "longest stair on stage as a temporary set piece in a #melfest entry" doesn't do a lot for me.

5. Omar Rudberg - Om om och om igen

Omar is a great performer and the styling of this entry was really cool. But for the love of God can we please stop self sabotaging by using old fashioned green screen effects. They're unimpressive and pointless. "Ooohhhhh look the back of my jacket changes colour, just like the pieces of cloth my backup dancers are holding". The staging felt really modern and had an edge to it, but that part just ruined it for me. The song is cool; it lends itself to a good choreography. However, the chorus isn't particularly memorable which was a big problem. I wouldn't have minded this qualifying, but after Oscar was knocked out last week I think Omar's elimination was kind of inevitable after that performance. I love his hair though.

6. Rebecka Karlsson - Who I Am

Ugh, we love a feminist Greatest Showman/Love Me Like You Do/Let It Go medley. Rebecka's vocals were shaky last night but I think this actually helped her to an extent. After three familiar names and very established acts, the newcomer with an inspirational ballad about growing up in a small town really had a chance to shine. Kind of like a Blanche effect. (Also she had braces which is a big plus.) This is honestly really unoriginal but the melody is strong enough for a ballad like this and Rebecka comes across incredibly likeable. She's like an inverse Lisa Ajax.

7. Jon Henrik Fjällgren - Norrsken

It's good luck that the Frozen 2 trailer came out this week because this is so Arendelle. I love Jon Henrik and was really happy to see him with a more triumphant song (En Värld Ful Av Strider was a little too sombre and dull if you ask me). It's so good to hear him singing as well as joiking. Plus, we get to see Edin again. Honestly showstopping. I agree that the melody has some strong similarities to "Sun Is Shining" but it heads in a different direction and this is a totally different style so I don't think the plagiarism bells are ringing. No one stopped Heroes for sounding like Lovers On the Sun and this is a similar thing. Although I really like this, I don't want it to go to Eurovision if KEiiNO are chosen to represent Norway. The comparisons between the two will end up hurting them both and neither of them deserve that. (Join the Jon Henrik and D'Sound/Mørland to Eurovision squad lol). We've still got a week to go but this is my favourite of the direct qualifiers so far.

My Prediction

Unfortunately my stream was close to death last night (Habibi was about 10 minutes long for me - which I loved) so I didn't have time to make a prediction after I saw the performances. However, my prediction after the running order was released turned out to be a lot more accurate:

Final: Jon Henrik Fjällgren, Lina Hedlund

AC: Rebecka Karlsson, Omar Rudberg

5th: Dolly Style

My Personal Ranking

Final: Jon Henrik Fjällgren, The Lovers of Valdaro

AC: Dolly Style, Omar Rudberg

5th: Rebecka Karlsson

#melfest #melodifestivalen #eurovision 2019 #eurovision #sweden #mello #dolly style #lovers of valdaro

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thefearlessgastronomist · 7 years

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THE FOUR FOOD-RELATED MOVIES THAT I AM DEEPLY, DEEPLY CONNECTED TO

As an entertainment buff, I love watching movies. Being a gal of many interests, it goes without saying that I have an innumerable amount of favorites for equally as many reasons.

These favorites are the films that just give me all the feels. And I mean ALL. THE. FEELS. The kind that you can’t stop thinking about and/or immediately want to start over and watch again. Because it has somehow struck a chord with you and has become more to you than you ever could have guessed.

On the road to becoming an avid foodie and home chef, it’s not surprising that I discovered a small contingent of culinary-related films that spoke to me on an a very personal level, and in many ways have shaped my views about cooking and eating food. These are my top films as they currently stand (though in no particular order).

JULIE & JULIA was my first introduction to Julia Child. Naturally, it was because of this film that I chose to read Julia’s memoir, My Life in France, the novel used as a reference for the film. Julie & Julia tells the cross-decade tale of Julia Child in 1950s France and that of 21st Century New Yorker Julie Powell, who challenged herself to cook her way through Julia’s cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, over the course of a year.

While I, and many others, aren’t particularly fond of Julie’s portions of the film or her book (though I haven’t read her book), I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t semi-intrigued by the concept of Julie’s story. Although Julia Child’s massive cookbook is a bit too ambitious for my tastes at the moment, cooking every recipe from a single cookbook, from start to finish, would be quite an interesting experience. Let me add that to my bucket list.

It his, however, Meryl Streep’s rendition of Julia Child that is perfect beyond words. When you compare Meryl and Stanley Tucci to the real Julia and Paul Child, dare I say it was perfectly cast. Without going too much into detail about my adoration for Julia Child and her life's work – let me save that for my review of her book – so much of Julia’s life and career gives hope to us that may not have conventionally found our calling in life. The way she got into cooking mirrors my own in many ways, as does her love for food and cooking. It’s really hard not to love Julia Child (and Meryl Streep) after watching this one.

EAT PRAY LOVE – also a book and film I’ve talked about before – is another that really shaped my views of food, as well as gave me extreme wanderlust. Fresh from a divorce, Elizabeth Gilbert (Julia Roberts) decides to take a year-long sabbatical to Italy, India, and Bali to rediscover herself and rekindle every sort of spark in her life. While I was just as moved by her spiritual time spent at an ashram in India, and her love for love and inner peace renewed in Bali, it was Liz’s time spent in Italy, restoring the pleasure found in eating food that hit closest to home. For more of my thoughts on Eat Pray Love, read here.

A list, no matter how small, would not be complete without an Disney/Pixar animation. RATATOUILLE, while of course a far-fetched fantasy of a rat with a love for food and penchant for cooking, who then employs a human named Linguini to help can cook incognito in a restaurant, is still one of absolute inspiration regardless. While the spirit of famed Chef Gusteau constantly reassures Remy (the rat) that “Anyone can cook!” (and the film further sprinkled throughout with many other similar statements of encouragement), Ratatouille is not only a favorite foodie film, but one of my top ten Disney cartoons.

CHEF is my most recent discovery and probably the most important. And I was actual quite surprised at how much I was affected by it. Written by, directed by, and starring Jon Favreau in the title role, the film begins with head chef Carl Casper quitting his job at a restaurant in California in order to pursue more creative ventures and reclaim his artistic freedom. In efforts to also bring his estranged family back together and spend more time with his son Percy, Carl returns to his roots by traveling to Miami with his ex-wife and Percy, and ends up purchasing a food truck in the process. There, he also rediscovers his love for Cuban food. The majority of the film then consists of Carl, Percy, and Martin (a co-worker of Carl’s from the restaurant in California) driving the food truck back to Los Angeles. Through places like New Orleans and Austin, Texas, using local ingredients to create daily specials in whichever city they preside, Carl’s journey shows what great things can come from doing exactly what you love.

When I first saw Chef, I was struggling with my own pursuits in life. I was uninspired in my current employment – in fact, I was very much between jobs at the time – and I internally grappled with how I should move forward. I didn’t want to hate what I was doing anymore; I didn’t believe that a person’s life should be spent just going through the motions for the sake of a paycheck. After spending months at home, reacquainting myself with the kitchen and sparking an intense new love for food and cooking, it was upon watching Chef that I realized I wanted to explore this vocation further. And it is quite possibly one of the top decisions I have ever made. Not just because I get to work with food on a regular basis, and get to constantly learn new things from a variety of different people... But because my heart is truly in it and that zest for what I'm doing is very much there.

That's all anyone could ever ask for.

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celebritylive · 5 years

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A Christmas tree, a rottweiler and an egg facing off for a grand prize can only mean one thing: The Masked Singer is back!

The singing competition’s second season returned to Fox on Wednesday with 16 new undercover celebrities, eight of whom took the stage for their first performances.

While the producers made the clues harder for season 2, host Nick Cannon shared during the premiere that the 16 celeb contestants have a combined 42 Grammy nominations, 140 films, 35 No. 1 hits, 21 platinum records and 22 Broadway shows between them. The competitors also boast a total of 29 kids, 28 tattoos, eight divorces and two Time Most Influential People honors.

Judges Ken Jeong, Jenny McCarthy, Nicole Scherzinger and Robin Thicke returned to try to figure out which actor, musician, athlete, politician or influencer could be under the disguise, and Cannon asked each contestant after their performance what makes them the embodiment of their character.

Wednesday’s special two-hour episode consisted of eight characters facing off in four pairs. And just like last season, the studio audience then voted to pick the winner of each battle. The four losers went on to sing in one of two smackdown rounds. The judges determined the winner of the smackdowns, and the two losers were ultimately unmasked at the end of the episode.

Here’s how everything broke down when The Masked Singer introduced its first crop of costumed performers.

Faceoff No. 1: Butterfly vs. Egg

BUTTERFLY

Clues: “For the past year, I’ve been waiting patiently in my cocoon for the promise of metamorphosis.”; “After achieving success in many stages of life, I found myself terrified by the one place I used to call home,” followed by an image of London’s Big Ben; “I’m here to take you to church. Can I get an amen?” Song: “Bang Bang” by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj Judges’ guesses: Fantasia Barrino, Mel B, Cara Delevingne, Patti LaBelle, Diana Ross What makes them the Butterfly? “Bless your heart, thanks for asking! I love to float gracefully and I’ve got a lot of soul in these wings.”

EGG

Clues: a snow globe; a swan; a skateboard; “I’m strong on the outside, vulnerable on the inside.”; “You might figure that coming to The Masked Singer is a bit of a leap for me, but after years of being on top of the pyramid, I’m here to join the ranks of the greatest, most versatile entertainers of our time.”; “I’m going for the gold.” Song: “Just Dance” by Lady Gaga Judges’ guesses: Adam Rippon, Christian Siriano, Jonathan Van Ness, Jonny Weir What makes them the Egg? “I’m always egg-stra and I do enjoy a good sparkle.”

Winner: Butterfly

RELATED: The Masked Singer Mascots Walk the Emmys Red Carpet — What Celebrities Are Hiding Inside?

Faceoff No. 2: Thingamajig vs. Skeleton

THINGAMAJIG

Clues: a cupcake with the number four; a briefcase with magic tricks inside; athletic sneakers; a fashion shoot; “I’m here because I like to sing, though you may think that’s not my thing.” Song: “Easy” by Commodores Judges’ guesses: Steph Curry, Dennis Rodman, Michael Strahan What’s a thingamajig? “A thingamajig is a thing that likes to majig.”

SKELETON

Clues: a Christmas party; Las Vegas vibes; “I’ve been around the block a few times, but I’m far from dead.”; “I’m tired of playing second fiddle.”; “I finally get that spotlight all to myself.” Song: a mashup of “Rapper’s Delight” by The Sugar Hill Gang and “Good Times” by Chic Judges’ guesses: Dana Carvey, Jon Cryer, Nathan Lane, and Martin Short, who Jeong is certain it is. What makes their bones shake? “I have no booty to shake. So all I can do is shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake a boom.”

Winner: Thingamajig

SMACKDOWN

After Egg’s fierce performance of “One Way or Another” by Blondie and Skeleton’s soulful rendition of “Hard to Handle” by Otis Redding, Skeleton beat Egg to stay in the competition.

Faceoff No. 3: Ladybug vs. Rottweiler

LADYBUG

Clues: a KSOR TV camera; a classic game show setup with a spinning wheel; bridges; “After a lifetime of drama, I could really use a little love and a lot of luck.”; “Being born into the limelight means keeping up with every piece of gossip and family feud.”; “Now after years of spinning my wheels, the chance to be anonymous makes me feel like I’ve already won a prize.” Song: “Holding Out for a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler Judges’ guesses: Lily Collins, Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lynn Spears, Willow Smith What makes them the Ladybug? “I’ve been through so much in my life. I just feel so lucky to be here.”

ROTTWEILER

Clues: a fantasy championship ring; bitten by a rottweiler as a kid; a bodyguard throwing a football; Friday Night Lights reference; “Look your best in order to perform your best.”; “Being a hungry competitor is actually how I rose to fame. It happened almost overnight.” Song: “Maneater” by Hall & Oates Judges’ guesses: JC Chasez, Nick Lachey, Brian Littrell, Bruno Mars, Russell Wilson What makes them the Rottweiler? “I’m loyal. There’s a bit of a wait and see attitude.”

Winner: Rottweiler

RELATED VIDEO: Robin Thicke On The Release Of His New Song

Faceoff No. 4: Tree vs. Ice Cream

TREE

Clues: the number 30; a bag of sugar; pots and pans; a black and white television showing Tree singing; an “expert in delicious treats”; “When the season is over, there’s no use for me.”; “I’m more than just one thing that you know me for.”; “I can dish out more talents to make the world smile.”; “I’m like the old-school entertainer who could do it all.”; “That’s why I’m here, to jazz up my career.” Song: “High Hopes” by Panic at the Disco Judges’ guesses: Beverly D’Angelo, Zooey Deschanel, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Rachael Ray What makes them the Tree? “Well, I’m festive and fun and I like everyone to gather ‘round and have a good time.”

ICE CREAM

Clues: a money gun; gold coins; a mansion with a pool in what looks like California; karate moves; headphones and a turntable; emojis; “For me, every day is cheat day.”; “Growing up, I caught a lot of flack for doing the thing I love the most.”; “Even my mom and dad had their doubts. But I believed in my ridiculous dream and I turned my fantasy into a reality.”; “I’ve got over a billion reasons to be proud of my hard work and determination.”; “I am used to performing in front of millions of people.” Song: “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus Judges’ guesses: Diplo, Rob Dyrdek, Calvin Harris, Marshmello, PewDiePie, Evan Spiegel What makes them the Ice Cream? “I’m sweet and everybody loves me.”

Winner: Tree

SMACKDOWN

Ice Cream sang Devo’s “Whip It” and Ladybug countered with “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” by Pat Benatar, but the panel chose Ladybug to stay in the competition.

UNMASKING

Egg turned out to be Olympic ice skater Johnny Weir, and Ice Cream was revealed to be videogame streamer Tyler “Ninja” Blevins.

The Masked Singer airs Wednesdays (8 p.m. ET) on Fox.

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2lR34Dv

#Celebrity

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jonathanleesink · 6 years

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Cliff Jumping

Originally posted on February 2, 2018

Four months ago…just a week after my 41st birthday, my life-path made an immediate stop at a steep cliff. The kind of cliff that takes your breath away because of just how high it is. On the other side of the cliff was someone I didn’t recognize, but they clearly needed some help. Do I turn around, walk away, and let someone else help this stranger? Do I ask him if he has any family or friends that can help him on the other side of the cliff? Or do I evaluate the risks of getting over the gap and get to helping this person immediately? I know I have the athletic ability to jump this gap. I decide I must jump to the other side to help this person. There is honestly no reason I shouldn’t help. I backup to allow plenty of space to get up to speed, I begin my run, and with 8 inches to spare I launch myself in the sky. I hold my breadth while I feel my body rise and descend in the air. Suddenly my knees and hands take the impact on the hard loose gravel of the other side of the cliff. I lookup and the stranger offers his hand to help me up. No words were exchanged, but I could tell he was thankful for the risk I just took. I stood up, dusted my knees off and kindly asked the stranger what I could do to help him.

Last week I shared with you my plans of being an altruistic kidney donor. I had surgery on Monday to remove my left kidney. It was then cleaned up and put into someone who really needed a new kidney. The transplant team at the University of Kansas did this procedure four more times over two days. Five donors and five recipients in one hospital. I have been told history was made. It was the largest kidney chain in KU’s history, and maybe the state of Kansas and for Kansas City, too. It has been an exciting week, for sure.

Jamie took me to the hospital Monday morning at 8:00. We were admitted and sent to the correct waiting area. I found my mom waiting there for us. After not waiting too long they invite me back to the surgery prep area. I ditch my street clothes and put on the easy-access hospital gown and safety-grip socks the nurse gave me. Aside from answering a million questions I have already answered a million other times, the nurse was getting my IV put in, sticking EKG electrodes on me, and asking lots of other questions about my tattoos. (Side Note: most of my caregivers were fascinated by my tattoos and wanted to know all about them.) The anesthesiologists came in to talk about the general anesthesia they will use to put me under prior and during the surgery, and also to administer nerve blocks prior to surgery. Nerve blocks are localized numbing shots they shoot in my abdomen to try to ease the pain of the incisions. They had Jamie and my mom come say their goodbyes, and I was being wheeled back to surgery.

As I am rolled into the operating room I remember two things specifically. One, the room was incredibly bright. I suppose the surgeons will need to be able to see everything in good detail. And two, there was a guy in scrubs with an expensive video camera. I suddenly remembered that I agreed to be filmed and interviewed before, during, and after surgery. I hope he was on my good side, because seeing the cameraman was the last thing I remember before everything went dark.

My memories in the recovery room are kind of foggy, so I cannot guarantee any of it as factual. Jamie has reminded me of this specific conversation taking place in the recovery room.

Jamie: How are you feeling?

Jon: I don’t know

Jamie: I have some good news

Jon: You’re pregnant?

Jamie: No, that’s impossible

Jon: Oh, okay

Jamie: I’ll remind you of this conversation when you are more alert

I remember hearing my mom’s voice, but I couldn’t see her which confused me. I think she was sitting down behind someone. I was very thirsty and had a dry mouth. They gave me a tiny sponge on a stick dipped in water. It was the least rewarding thing to ever touch my lips. If you’ve never sucked water from a sponge, it does not get my thirst-quenching recommendation. I was in quite a bit of pain while in the recovery room. The nurse had to remind me numerous times that I have a push-button pain relief hooked-up to my IV. I could push the button whenever it was lit up with a green light, which was about every ten minutes. I was the only one who could push the green button. The doctors, nurses, and my family members could only remind me to push it. As cool as this button was, they removed it from me the next morning.

Finally, the people taking care of me in the recovery room thought I could go up to my room. They called someone to push my bed up to the sixth floor. If there was a non-perfect experience found in my journey at KU, my transportation from the recovery room to my permanent room would be it. The guy in charge of pushing my bed looked a little like Martin Short’s rendition of Jack Frost in Santa Clause 3 (Side note: my kids and I love this movie.) Mr. Frost was not very friendly. Maybe he was just having a bad day. He ran the bed into a couple of walls and elevator doors, which isn’t enjoyable when you have four new abdomen incisions and a freshly harvested internal organ. When we get to my new home on the sixth floor there are 8-10 nurses awaiting my arrival. Frost disapprovingly tells me, “You must be somebody important, I’ve never seen anyone get this many people to move them from one bed to another.” The great nurses and Frost get me moved to my new bed and start getting me hooked up to all my stuff. Time for rest and recovery.

In an effort to not put my readers to sleep I am going to condense the content of my hospital stay, and highlight the most important parts. I think the best way of doing this is by thanking the people who took care of me, or had a part in my living donor journey.

Family & Friends - Jamie (my lovely wife) has supported this journey from the start. She had some concerns, but I think educating herself about the concerns helped her ease them. She was my main support while in the hospital. She handled a juggling act of being there for me, but also coordinating a ten and a four year old’s schedule, plus she’s on an active job hunt and the president of the PTA. She certainly has her hands full. Thanks to modern technology she was able to do a lot of it while I was napping in a bed. Thank you, Jamie. My kids have been great. They understand that their dad has to take it easy for a few weeks. They have been so sweet to me. As they continue to get older in life I’ll be able to talk to them about this experience so they can develop an appreciation of what I did and why I did it. My mom and mother-in-law have helped with watching our kids and transporting them when Jamie couldn’t. Plus, that means the kids get extra time with the grandmas, which always means more sugar!

Once I went public about my decision to donate a kidney via my last blog post, the support has been outstanding. I have received countless messages from people supporting me and my family. Every single message has been special to me. I thank you all for uplifting me at this critical moment in my life. Thank you for the cards, flowers, gifts, and the wonderful meals that people have volunteered to bring my family. I also want to give a special shout-out to my Benninghoven family. They have supported me and my family in countless ways. Thank you for everything!

Tony and Christyn Zins - If you read my last post, you learned this all started from my reading of a Facebook post from one of Jamie’s co-workers. That co-worker is Christyn Zins. Christyn’s husband, Tony, was my initial intended recipient. He is the reason I originally went to get tested. Tony and I weren’t a match, and he went on to have surgery on January 2nd of this year with a perfect match donor from his longtime friend, Craig. Christyn has been a wonderful support system to Jamie. She’s answered questions, provided a care package while we were in the hospital, and visited us twice while we were there. Christyn also gave me a beautiful blanket that she quilted this past month with help from Tony, her mother-in-law, and her two sisters-in-law. It was extremely kind and generous. Even though I didn’t donate to Tony and he wasn’t involved in the kidney chain, I still feel that special connection to him and Christyn. I don’t know my recipient, and there’s a chance I might never know them. Tony is the closest thing I have. He gives me a face to visually use when I think of who has my kidney. I am grateful to Tony and Christyn, and also to their families. I have heard that their families ask about me, so it’s comforting to know they’re thinking of me.

KU Medical Professionals - From the first moment I called KU inquiring about living donation I have been treated with kindness and respect. My primary point person through this whole process has been Melissa Fowler, the living donor nurse coordinator. Melissa loves kidneys, and she makes everyone who talks to her love kidneys too. She has a real passion about her job, which makes her a valuable asset to the transplant center. During the months that it took to coordinate this chain I emailed her dozens of times with random concerns or questions. Every time I received a polite and prompt answer from Melissa. She is hands down the very best at what she does.

Dr. Ilahe is the nephrologist (kidney doctor) and the head of the living donor program at KU. Dr. Ilahe has that same passion for kidneys that I found Melissa having. Every time I saw Dr. Ilahe she gave me a hug. She has always been so thankful for what I volunteered to do. I believe she was one of the key figures in putting this 10-person kidney chain together. So, I’d like to congratulate her on this accomplishment.

Dr. Kumer was the doctor who actually performed the surgery on me. Dr. Kumer is the in-house ace on removing kidneys. When I met with him weeks before surgery he told me that I am the only one in the hospital who is having a surgery that they don’t need. While this is true, for this week it was me and four others. Dr. Kumer carefully cut me open, detached my kidney, put his hand into my abdomen and personally removed my left kidney, and then sealed me back up. And then he did it to four other people.

There were a lot of other people I worked with on the transplant team. Samantha and Jaime were great to me. I didn’t have a chance to work extensively with either one, but the interaction I did have with them was pleasant. The lab technicians always had a fun attitude everytime I went to give blood. Honestly, there wasn’t a single person through this process that I had a bad experience with. This department has kind, professional, and always thankful.

Finally the nurses that took care of me post-surgery were awesome. The level of care I received on the sixth floor was nothing like I had seen before. I had the same day-shift nurse two consecutive days, and the same night-shift nurse two consecutive nights. Hannah and Alec. They brought nursing to a whole new level. They were young, fun, and knew their stuff. Nurse Hannah made a personal connection with Jamie and my kids. It’s comforting to have a trusting relationship with your caregivers when you are in such a vulnerable state. The professionals who took care of me while recovering on the sixth floor were outstanding.

I was released from the hospital on Thursday afternoon. I have spent most of my time in my bed since I got home. Jamie and the kids are all helping out, which has been nice. We have meals being made and delivered by several friends for the next two weeks. My sleep schedule is totally off. I go to bed around 9:00, but wake-up really early, and then have one to two naps during the day. I’ve always been a big water drinker. I’ve learned I need to keep that up, plus a little more now. I also cannot take NSAIDs (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) ever again. NSAIDs are commonly known as ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen. This is probably the biggest long-term adjustment I’ll need to make. Tylenol is my pain reliever of choice now…forever. I should be back to normal in a few weeks. My remaining kidney will adjust to do the work of two kidneys. I’ll need to continue living a healthy lifestyle and stay away from any high-risk diets that could cause diabetes or high-blood pressure. The last two years I have really focused on healthy living. If I continue doing what I’ve been doing, the doctors have no reason to believe I wouldn’t live a long normal healthy life.

I have my first follow-up appointment on Thursday morning with Dr. Kumer. I am off work for several weeks to allow myself plenty of time to heal. I plan to write, read, play guitar, enjoy time with my family, and just be thankful for life and make the best of living.

About two weeks prior to surgery I had to come into the transplant center for some final pre-op stuff to do. I was also interviewed by KU’s media team. They were beginning a project to try to interview as many people involved in the donation chain as they could, and kind of follow everyone through the process. Fast-forward to the Wednesday after surgery I am informed that KU is hosting a press conference and issuing a press release about the donation chain. A few hours later I am getting texts that people saw me on the six o’clock news. Oh, and I am getting links sent to me of articles on local news websites and YouTube. What?!? This was totally unexpected. I didn’t think anything was going to hit the media until the interviews were done after the surgeries. Links are below for your viewing pleasure.

YouTube - produced by KU’s media team

KU Press Conference

KU Press Release

KCTV5

Fox4

This isn’t the direction I saw my life going when I was celebrating my 41st birthday. I didn’t see that cliff approaching either, it came out of nowhere. I can’t say that I would have always chosen to jump to the other side to help the stranger. But times are changing, and I have changed. Life is not about me, it never has been. I found that life is about leveraging your talents, your resources, and your heart to make a positive impact on someone else, and being brave enough to do something about it. You don’t have to jump over a cliff or give a kidney. We can make positive impacts daily, heck we can mindfully always be making them. Forget the past and don’t worry about the future. Be in the moment, and demonstrate compassion for all.

This is living.

This is purpose.

#kidneydonor #livingdonor #kidneytransplant #kansascity #kumc #organdonor

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