#i miss the joy they gave me
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my thoughts on modern lupin
#lupin iii#zenigata#how little modern lupin cares about zenigata makes me sick. He was everything at one point. Spits on the floor#hes sidelined or stripped of any joy or straight up missing and it makes me so upset#you gave him a little guy to make him more interesting (sidenote: he was interesting without the little guy. you're lucky i like yata)#and then you barely show him OR the guy!!!!!!!#whatevar. its not like this is a new thing for lupin to do it's just been egregious lately#i mean dezaki locked him in a cage for an entire movie it's not JUST modern. it's just especially modern
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reminder to myself (and anyone that needs it) that it’s okay to be sad about the lost potential of 4 minutes and biblebuild, and also be happy and respectful of the decision build made for his own mental health.
#build jakapan#4 minutes#goodbye biblebuild#you gave me one of the most amazing on screen pairings ever#and i will never forget that#vegaspete#continues to bring me so much joy#and i have you both to thank#i miss your partnership#i always will#change is hard#but sometimes thinks are out of our control#i hope you both continue to thrive
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Soft-Selfie Wang YiBo: A Collection
Let’s celebrate that fact that we got a new selfie from Wang YiBo…
…with this series of WYB’s soft selfies:
See Mirror-Selfie-Era Wang YiBo
#We missed you soft-selfie Wang YiBo#We crave your soft selfies#Like we crave your lizard videos and your bare-faced natural beauty and your savage take-downs of interviewers who have nonsense questions#More soft selfies please#Pretty please Wang YiBo#And while you’re at it bring back mirror-selfie Wang YiBo too#We miss him#your honor i love him#Wang YiBo you don’t know how much joy that selfie gave me#Bless you and your soft face in that hat#About the hat#Sir we have questions#Such as: How are you aging backwards?#Wang yibo#wang YiBo selfies
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well, at almost 163,000 words and 101 chapters (i know, i know), Noise Breaking is now officially complete:
the fic
audio accompaniments
playlist
#lawrusso#8 months; this fic was hell to finish#but i'm going to really miss johnny and daniel and all the different versions of them#i don't know when i'll find another fandom that gave me as much joy and inspiration as this one did#feeling pretty sad over here lads!#okay enough bellyaching in the tags
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So the molecule change is going badly
#i know this is the worst moment because im taking halved dosage of both meds#so my serotonin receptors are like. what exactly are we doing. and im hurting all over which is a sympthom of duloxetina withdrawal for me.#but fuck i had NOT realized how much the drug contributed to keeping my will to live up throughout the day#its kind of disappointing#this feels like way back in the days when i was just rawdogging life and its. uuuuh no good#both my general doctor and my job gave me shit about how many times ive been missing work#and like. i cannot say anything beyond im sorry#because depression is so hard to explain. people dont accept 'i just could not bring myself to be a human today' as a valid excuse#like literally i kept thinking. j need to do this and that. but my body was like. nah#and like this job is my pride and joy. i had a spotless fucking record. im so sad and angry at myself#i just hope that when i start taking full dosage of the new meds things will smooth themselves over
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Song of the Day: December 7
"Wolverine" by Goghi
#song of the day#beautiful beautiful song very very fun to sing. about loving nature and wanting to bite people! ideal. pristine.#every line is the best line but the whole chorus is really something special#'I am the wolverine / get close I show my teeth and / no love for my own / I walk my path alone and#I am the submarine / deep hunter of the seas and / I sink enemies / making widows in the open ocean'#there's a little fuck I never know what that's called. what's it called#a little ripple-run in the melody on 'making widows in the open ocean' that brings such incredible joy. amazing song to sing#also--this has nothing to do with the song--I am so hungry#Nick has his friends over (which is good! not complaining about that. he did get permission and they're not rude or destructive so chill)#but our livingroom is now a minefield of people and beverages and popcorns I think that smell is popcorn#and to get to the kitchen I would have to pass through. step over all of them and walk between them and their videogames on the big screen#and I'm just not feeling it!#so we turn again to the grace and foresight of past-me and we reap the great pop-tart harvest#do y'all know how many boxes of poptarts there are under my bed? literally I do not know. I've just been getting interesting flavors#apple jacks. banana bread. snickerdoodle. apple fritter. eggo. cinnamon sugar pretzel. cinnamon roll. that's seven!#seven boxes of poptarts under my bed! I gave the boston creme pie and pumpkin pie ones to Nick bc they were gross but these are all good#I missed out on the vanilla latte and chocolate churro flavors sadly. they were before I started#(do you ever get halfway through a sentence and then you think: huh. my whole life to date and this is what I'm doing now. huh.)#anyway they were before I started collecting poptarts
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life update in the tags bc god wants me dead and i just won't croak
#just gonna ramble for a sec but oh my god holy shit what is life#my depresso has been so much worse in the past few months thanks to irl events and just bad brain vibes so my doc upped my meds (again)#so we're gonna see how that goes bc i really miss being on here and writing these silly little characters :(((((#aside from that i also got prescribed birth control and there's no suffering like<3 the crazy ass sudden cravings im experiencing<3#IN THE MIDDLE OF DEALING W A STOMACH VIRUS MY NIBLING GAVE ME<3#there is sooooo much going on but im really hoping i can be on here soon bc i need to be on top of doing things that bring me joy again#so :) hopefully i'll talk to yall soon<3#╰ 𝙾𝙾𝙲 ╯ ⋯ himbo energy but like ‚ lesbian
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#man. sometimes I really do miss techno. I miss him alot#I remember how much joy he brought me throughout the entirety of 2020-2022 and how much I loved him#I think after his passing part of me knew that I could never quite go back to dsmp the same ever again#and I felt myself distancing from the cc's cause the grief was just too much at times and the reminders didn't help#techno gave me so much joy and perhaps embodied the very best parts of those years#his memory is encased in those years and sometimes... part of me is glad he's not around for whatevers happening now#sighs. love and miss you techno
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I have watched 37 movies from 2023 and there was great comedies, horror and action movies as comedy/horror/action BUT i have not seen any movie this year that blowed my mind like some from 2022 like Banshees of Inisherin, Pearl, Nope, Huesera, Puss in Boots the last wish, RRR or Everything Everywhere All at Once
#yes i am putting puss in boots between those.it was that good#that it blows your mind how well crafted it is#we got spiderverse 2 this year but is unfinished and just part 1 so is Not The Same in the Super Well Crafted Animation Movie#2022 just had such good movies....#but gosh this year we got amazing comedies like the blackening or joy ride#or bottoms!!!#but i missed having my mind blow#i had my mind blow with older movies this year tho and by that i mean thelma and louise#and ginger snaps#sweet charity !!!#dirty dancing....ah so much good movies#as u can see tho Blow My Mind is like very subjetive so i dont even know if i can ask people for 2023 recs of those#in case i missed a very good movie#dead reckoning gave me brainrot but that doesnt count is not that the movie is mind blowing is that I Am Unwell. About Benji.#anyways. movie talk i love movies#albossharuland talk#if u have read all the tags tell me if u watched any 2023 movie that blowed YOUR mind
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reply to me on discord i miss u </333
im like rabid rn i will i promise i love u and miss you
#u know 1) i didnt know ell and mj and jj and reyd all met up in london and#2) i saw ells insta and i was SO OVERCOME so SO much i was like#like.#i love you guys. i always miss you guys even when its me whos radio silent#i cant believe you were 17 when we met like what the hell that is so young im going to be turning NINETEEN can you believe it???#like i was so happy you guys met i got so emotional i was likebawling inside i was like MY FRIENDSSSS MY FRIENDSSSSSSSSSS#dont @ me im the nonnegative type of maudlin right now teary eyes and all#pari.txt#my loves my garden my friendssss..... im so happy... it gave me so much delight and joy i hope you had fun... then and now.....
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{D.N. A n g e l} ~ Stage 4 Vol. 39
BONUS:
#koushirouizumi posts#koushirouizumi cap#koushirouizumi react#koushirouizumi no rb#koushirouizumi no rb posts#koushirouizumi niwa#koushirouizumi dnangel#otp: the one thing in this world that truly ever gave me joy#dn angel is a fun series#dn angel without context#dn angel with missing context#(OK there is oNE Development in a previous chapter I KNEW WAS COMING SINCE ORIGINAL ANIME ENDED {SIGH} B u T)#(COME TF ON)#(SATOSHI 'OH SH*T {MY HEART *IS* POUNDING}' LOOK{??})#({And Yet})#(I Am Hollow Laughing Into The Void)#(HI IM NOT SURE ILL BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THE END)#(DARK ' CHANGE INTO ME *RIGHT NOW* ')#(DAISUKE LITERALLY ' MY HEART ISN'T POUNDING!!1! ')#(DARK ' COME ON ')#dnangel spoilers#(Im Trying Not To Spoil Too Much but DANG THEY'RE STILL DOING T H I)#(k I N D O F)#(HI HOW ARE THERE ONLY LIKE 5 CHS LEFT)#(I was intrigued by Niwa + Hikari fams backstory stuff at first but I didnt expect it to tAKE UP MULTIPLE CHS OF THE FINAL ARC SIGH)
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I’m crying, Darcy asking Tara if she’d still love her if she was a worm 🪱 😂😭
#heartstopper spoilers#it’s a very blink and you’ll miss it moment but the joy it gave me#I needed this today#heartstopper#heartstopper season two#Darcy x Tara#Tara and Darcy#heartstopper s2
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shit like kizuna and distant blue sky are going to be the fucking death of me man
(long kizuna and pokemon rants in tags + a lot of emotional rambling and spoilers)
#digimon n pokemon were my first two animes and like. i hold those memories very dear to my heart#i loved both of these btw i am holding back tears i just saw distant blue sky i love ash man he’s just. like he’s just some guy i love him#he gives off this kind of childish joy that made me love pokémon in the first place when i was little . like baby etke would sit and watch#the gengar episode from the first season on repeat SOBBING#i don’t have to say why kizuna one hit KO’d me do i? /lh#mini rant actually because it’s been an . Hour#agumon and gabumon were so and are so important to me as characters . the point of digimon partners in season one is that they are there#to be a mirror to what their partner needs to accept and overcome. gabumon never gave up trying to make matt feel loved and helped him stop#repressing his feelings and agumon and tai gave eachother things to live and fight for!! that’s why agumon’s speech about life in 02 gets me#because he has had to fight a lot. but he did it all because he had tai and tai had him#and i think what kizuna missed the mark on was that it wasn’t that tai and matt didn’t need them or want them anymore.#it was that agumon and gabumon helped them get to a place where they don’t need that mirror anymore.#it sucks and i wish they hadn’t left but like. i think that’s the point#like we’ve all had shit that has helped us grow and cope and learn and when we leave it or when it leaves us it feels painful. it sucks#but you realize how much that thing really helped you become a better person#christ this got personal and ranty. anyways i’m still emotional about kizuna#kizuna’s ending wasn’t happy. but you could tell in the credits that even if they didn’t have their partners anymore#the lessons they learned from them is still there#digimon#gamma’s static#pokemon#digimon last evolution kizuna
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I wanna finish my requests quickly because I know when I write a request I will never be happy with it lol with a request, the premise is so basic and simple that the most you can do is write drabbles or headcanons. Although it gains the most attention and most people prefer that to let's say 1k+ fics on Tumblr, I don't like those because it isn't a testament to my writing skill.
I personally don't like it when people praise my writing ability when talking about those drabbles or hcs because literally anyone can write those things, I just happen to be the one you found or who came up with that idea. Even if I died, you don't need me to write those things because literally anyone else and even you, yourself, can write those.
#down here is the vent portion so ignore it if you will#like recently ive been having suicidal thoughts and one of the reasons people gave me to not do it#is that you guys will miss me or whatever#which is pretty sad on my end since i don't have a lot of things that brings me joy#so an irl has to bring up my smut writing blog to convince me not to die lol#anyway but in the truest form i dont think anyone online except for maybe certain people would remember me if i died#especially in writing my writing wont be remembered and everyone can go read another person's works#which really tells me how pathetic my life is because i always wanted to bring an impact with the only thing im good at (writing)#and i can't even achieve that#ivytalks
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I just watched Glass onion in the cinema and it ROCKED and now all i can think about is how badly i want a third movie where Benoit Blanc and his classy british husband fuck up the murder plans of yet another bunch of rich dickheads
#i really missed marta tbh#i had hoped she would maybe continue as his watson#but its okay#they have a new female character who´s also pretty amazing#and while the movie doesnt reach Knifes Out´s brilliance and perfectly symmetrical narrative structure its still awesome#i was amused shocked appalled and thoroughly entertained#and it gives me so much joy that they gave benoit blanc a husband - especiall THAT husband#really hope this wont be the end of the franchise#like. they´ll have to be very careful not to ruin it#but its just so rare to have a good modern murder mystery with a brilliantly written original detective#so yeah#everybody watch glass onion when it comes out on netflix#glass onion#glass onion spoilers#benoit blanc
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i think a lot about the exchange between vash and knives in episode 26 where knives asks if vash had a good time with the humans and vash says yeah it was the best thing i ever did
#knives very likely mocking him and didn't care about the answer but man. vash's complete sincerity regardless of that#and if knives was genuinely asking then it shows a kind of melancholy last attempt at an actual conversation before they fight#i have feelings about knives hating humanity and hating how he thinks they influence vash/took him away from him#and the suggestion of a feeling like... he knows hes missing something. he knows that vash has Something he doesn't#(what vash has is the genuine happiness and joy humanity gave him. all knives has is his own self imposed misery)#sorry i'm going off in the tags i just can talk about them. for a long time.#i'm not even touching the other 'you're not human. you're a plant.' 'i know.' exchange which GUTS me#for reasons i don't entirely know!
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Last Seen Blogs
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