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foxxsnacks · 8 months

Note

Daryl Dixon gt/Vore headcanons por favor 🥺🤲

HI HELLO YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR AN ASK LIKE THIS SO I CAN GO ABSOLUTELY OFF THE RAILS INSANE

I apologize if some of these are ooc. I'm a bit delulu ❤️

He's always very gentle with tinies- even if they're being annoying, he's still very careful and wouldn't intentionally hurt them.

He's very awkward about holding tinies, tho. Sure, he holds them securely with both hands, but he likes to be able to do things with his hands and stay busy. Tinies will usually end up in a shirt pocket, or perched on his shoulder if it's a more calm environment.

He doesn't like tinies climbing around on him, it makes him a bit tense or nervous that they're gonna fall. Being on his shoulder and being stationary there is one thing- trying to climb up the back of his shirt is another.

He'll bring tinies or borrowers any sort of scraps he finds while out on runs. He doesn't really know what'll be useful to them, but if he spots something that he thinks could be useful in smaller hands, he'll grab it anyway.

Now into the vore stuff... *horrible gremlin laughter*

He doesn't strike me as the type to be particularly into mawplay- he's usually a swallow-and-done type of pred. But if his prey wants to linger in his mouth for a bit longer, he'll gladly let them since it gives him a sort of excuse to properly taste them more than he'll usually allow himself to.

He's not an aggressive pred a majority of the time- at least not towards willing prey- but he's not super gentle either. It's not intentional, he just doesn't really realize he can be a slight bit rough at times. If a prey points it out, he'll be more conscious of it and would probably mutter out a quiet apology and not much else.

He really, really loves willing prey. He won't admit it aloud, but he does.

He likes being able to hold someone he cares about close to him- it's one of the few times he's actually able to relax and feel like he's doing a proper job at protecting someone.

His belly is. Super fucking loud. That man has the diet of a rat in a New York dumpster, you can't tell me it's not noisy in there.

His stomach in general is really active no matter what, and might be a bit more slimy than what's normal- again, because of his awful diet.

He tries to hide it but when his stomach is particularly loud he does actually get a bit embarrassed by it. It's not super obvious, he's good at hiding his emotions, but if you know what to look for you can tell he's a bit flustered.

His voice is also very loud from inside. Like. He talks all low and gravelly so from inside his stomach it's super bassy and loud. He probably doesn't even realize how loud it is either until it's pointed out to him. He'll try to keep his voice down afterwards if it's someone he actually likes that's in his stomach, but otherwise he could care less.

At heart he's kind of a caretaker pred. He'll occasionally check in with his prey and press at his belly to see if they're alright and if they need anything. Not constantly, but often enough for it to be obvious that he cares.

He's not super touchy with his middle- at least not in public. If it's the right person, and he's away from prying eyes, however... his hands are practically glued onto his stomach. He doesn't usually rub, but when he does, it's slow and soothing- more for his own comfort than his prey's.

Belly rubs don't tend to do much for him... most of the time. Usually, he'll grumble something appreciative under his breath about it or other. But if it's timed correctly, and he's emotionally primed enough... oh, that man just breaks down. He's not used to being treated with gentle affection, so if it's coming from the right person at the right time he'll cry.

He refuses to eat anything with his prey. Not for any specific reasons, he just feels awkward doing it because he doesn't really see prey as any sort of food, and it feels weird to have them in his stomach while he eats.

Prey can expect to get squeezed a lot if he's in combat. He's got dense core muscle, and he throws himself around pretty violently, so being held tight is probably a good thing anyway. He'll check in with his prey afterwards to make sure they're okay, and maybe mutter a small apology for the 'bumpy ride'.

All of the softer stuff aside tho, he'd also be great for unwilling prey scenarios.

It's most likely that any sort of prey he eats that's unwilling is just being captured and contained temporarily. Be it a stranger he encounters, or someone from an enemy group.

He wouldn't go through with fatal stuff, I don't think, but he'd probably threaten it if the prey has info he needs, or if they're just flat out squirming too much.

He doesn't mind prey moving within him, but if they're outright fighting him he doesn't really like it. It doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable, it's just hard for him to focus on much when there's some agitated prey thrashing around in his gut- and that can be detrimental in a dangerous situation.

Not surprising but he's very cold towards any sort of captured or enemy prey. He's not cruel, per say, but he's pretty much going to ignore them and just be snippy whenever he does talk to them at all. He won't purposefully pick at them or press at his belly much like that though, he deems it best to just let them sit and stew. If they're panicking, it's not his problem.

...at least, most of the time. If he's got someone who's outright crying and terrified of him he'll soften his approach a bit. Not by a whole lot- they're still a captive, after all- but he might confirm to them that no, they're safe, he's not intending to hurt them.

That's all I've got for right now nonnie!! I'll probably have more thoughts later it's 4am rn and my brain is fried so more asks abt my fav greasy man are more than welcome :)

#asks #foxx answers #vore talk #anonymous #soft vore #safe vore #willing pred #willing prey #unwilling prey #v0re #nonfatal vore #d/aryl d/ixon #he's EVERYTHING to me you dont even KNOW #ive been braining about him so fucking bad

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twitchesandstitches · 3 years

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💀🥔❤️🗯️💛📚 - Power Girl, Wonder Woman, Tionishia, Centorea, Ranamon, Blue Diamond and Ahsoka Tano. (A bit of a long one, but i hope it works.)

omg that is a LOT tho

Power Girl: am leaning towards ‘rarely’. depends on how villainous they are; if not villain, then probably not. if villain, at least temporarily digestion? if they’re energy-based though, she may do so automatically regardless of whether or not she wants to, due to her powers

Wonder Woman: she follows mythic hero rules, so she does so in the same circumstances of slaying a monster, but she’s not casual about it

tionishia: depends on their threat level and how hungry she is. going with the idea that ogres are prone to extreme overindulgence, she might do so if they taste good or make her feel super FULL

centorea: more likely than not, yes, especially if they are plant-based; it mixes with horse and human cravings a lot, and she regards it as part of the whole point of swallowing someone.

Ranamon: Rarely; its very contextual. she may be called to do it for her duties or removing things that need to be hidden, like consuming forbidden lore.

Blue Diamond: I like to think that she used to be a ferocious and merciless devourer, adn while she’s TRYING to be a better person, the compulsion to simply swallow whole and digest anything offending her on a whim.

Ahsoka: I figure that while the Jedi Code permits this sort of thing (since they don’t have any particular restrictions against necessary killing), overindulgence is frowned upon. This Ahsoka may or may not abide by the Code, but it still influences her, so she tries to restrain herself.

----------

Does your muse prefer lazy, fat prey?

Power Girl and Wonder Woman: Not really! they tend to view devouring as a tool in their arsenel, not as an end in itself, and they don’t have many preferences.

Tionishia: Almost certainly; she enjoys rich, tasty treats, especially ones that have so much meat and succulent tastes of self-indulgence on them.

Centorea: she doesn’t PREFER them, but she likes this kind of prey, but refuses to admit it; she feels that implying she prefers easily caught prey implies ineptitude.

Ranamon: I think that feels about right for her?

Blue Diamond: Very likely! Perhaps at one point, she created Gems specifically to devour large amounts of resources, getting very big in the process, and BD ate them in turn to recoup the resources.

Ahsoka: Again, no particular preference there.

-----------

Tell us about a great experience your muse has had with vore!

Power Girl: She once ate an entire sun, getting a massive power boost and size increase; we’re talking taller than a solar system, boobs bigger than the rest of her body, and a power increase to match. it didn’t last but it felt REALLY GOOD

Wonder Woman: She slew an incarnation of Jormagundr in this fashion with her god-buddy, Thor; it was the biggest meal she ever had!

Tionishia: She had a date with fem Kimihito, and her ravenous appetite demanded more and more, and Kimihito offered herself to her; it was a very lovely digestion and Tio was so FULL, and suspects it was the love involved that satisfied her.

Centorea: She took part in a competition where the losers would be meals for the winner, and she won in splendid fashion. She was merciful and allowed them to reform not long afterwards, but she was so STRONG, and her gut so swollen with their wriggling bodies as they dissolved into her, and she relishes the pleasure of that day.

Ranamon: Once devoured a terrible grimoire of ultimate evil, obscuring its dreadful secrets from the multiverse; she actually had something of a tummyache for a while, but it was worth it.

Blue Diamond: After reforming her ways, she repopulated multiple worlds by consuming them and gestating entirely new, fertile ones within herself. IT felt intensely pleasurable and the first truly good thing she had done in a long time, and it gave her a sense of purpose after the fall of the Gem empire.

Ahsoka: At one point, confronted and bested a dreadful wizard of the bleakest arts, overcomign his powerful abilities to consume him. at the time she’d been suffering something of a crisis of confidence, and it reignited her sense of skill and purpose.

-----------

Does your muse experience stomach rumbles or burps after eating someone?

Power Girl: unlikely. probably lots of solar glowing, though.

Wonder Woman: Briefly. sounds like continents moving.

Tionishia: Yes. it is VERY loud and sounds like her belly is bigger on the inside.

Centorea: Yes. very, very loud, due to her multiple chambered stomachs (A combo of human stomaches, horse stomaches, and the weird ways they interact together.)

Ranamon: Kind of; no rumbles or burps normally, but there’s a strange sound as they are converted into pure data.

Blue Diamond: She does not burp or rumble at all unless she specifically wants to, because of how Gems work; digestion rarely involves fluids, for example, but converting prey into magical energy to be absorbed directly or reworked into another form. She CAN, if she wants to.

Ahsoka: Yes. pretty noisy, actually.

-----------

What sort of pred does your muse like?

Power Girl, Wonder Woman: They are similar in that they don’t liked to be preyed upon at all; they’re big time heroes and this sets a poor example, and they’re too fierce to easily have the submissive mindset that characterizes prey in one way or another. you must be WORTHY to do so, but their definitions vary; Power Girl thinks you must be strong, while Wondy feels you should just have the courage to try. (You might not be able to survive trying, though.)

Tionishia: She requires that you be at least somewhat polite. Sort of like taking a girl out to dinner, really.

Centorea: She professes to firmly disapprove of this, but in secret, she does like this, but requires a firm subordinate/superior relation between herself and the pred, with pred as superior.

Ranamon: Kind of prefers her preds to be cool and interesting, and technologically based; not out of bias against organics, but due to her composition, she’s only likely to experience anything if they are able to process data. (Which CAN happen with powerful organic preds anyway, but she’s not aware of this.)

Blue Diamond: She does not like to be eaten. She is still proud and mighty, and sees herself as far above the likes of prey!

Ahsoka: Someone who is very much NOT dark side-aligned, emotionally speaking, tends to fit the bill.

-----

How many times has your muse been digested or inside a pred’s stomach?

Wonder Woman: Rarely. It’s happened a few times, and its treated as the mutually exclusive deaths of heroes in ancient myths, but she’s loath to have repeats.

Power Girl: A few villains have managed it, and some heroines as well; tends to get her miffed, too.

Tionishia: Reasonably common, though they must be pretty big or voracious to contain so much ogre inside them! She thinks its cuddly and sweet.

Centorea: She’s more common a predator than prey, but it’s happened; once by fem!Kimihito, Rachnera and Tio, and most frequently by Miia, who is now sporting a REALLY big pair of boobs that was once Centorea’s physical body in previous times.

Ranamon: She’s embarassed to admit that she’s frequiently called to upload viruses to enemy servers or networks, and this involves getting ‘eaten’ by manifestations of those servers in the digital realm.

Blue Diamond: she’s bigger than a planet even when she’s not trying, and can be considered a goddess by most standards; it’s RARE. but it can happen! (Rose Quartz and Connie have both done it, on separate occasions.) She doesn’t approve of being reminded of it!

Ahsoka: If the Jedi have vore duels, she’s probably lost a fair number of times, though not in recent times. in her travels, she’s lost her fair share of consumption battles, so she’s familiar with the inside of guts.

#replies #ask meme replies #twitchy!dc #twitchy!power girl #twitchy!wonder woman #twitchy!monster musume #twitchy!centorea #twitchy!tionishia #twitchy!digimon #twitchy!ranamon #twitchy!su #twitchy!blue diamond #twitchy!star wars #twitchy!ahsoka #twitchy!crossthicc au #heimkoheimkofan

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fox-meat · 4 years

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1,4,9,10,17,20,21,22, 24,26,38,42,49,51,53,55 (a nice one),58,60,63,65,66,67,73,74,75,76

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Hmm I'm not shallow, but sort of? Like I definitely have a type, and it's mostly just like, if you don't look like a cismale Chad I'm probably into it

4. Are you in a relationship? SEVERAL....... Okay I'm currently dating two like, systems? One with one other member, and one with a lot (some I don't know) and dating people within that system! Along with also dating people in my own system haha

9. Describe your perfect mate OKAY SO my biggest like quality I need is someone who makes me laugh. I never wanted to be in a relationship where humor wasn't a thing, and luckily I've never had that problem!!

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? I do!!! T///T I'm a big, soft romantic eheheh

17. Do you like kissing in public? SOMEWHAT I don't like, like, full on making out, but little pecks are great!!

20. Do you shower every day? God no, I'm depressed, bitch. Probably 3-4 times a week if that.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Hhnnnggg no. Honestly I'm like, always in the state of, I can't imagine anyone having feelings for me tbh xD

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? My Pred, probably lmao, he's always thinking of me cause he's a soft little cow

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? OH I HOPE SOOOOOOO /)////////(\

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? YES!!!! Right now, like four people have and !!!!!!!! That's incredible especially considering the shit I've been through!!

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? YEEESSS,,,, some people who like, it happens a lot when I first make a friend, if they're NICE I get like "Oh no is this a crush???" vibes, but I let it die down before I act on it. There's a lot of people who I get bad vibes from at first then we CLICK.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Oh god forever. My hands don't really wander much, I like holding faces or shoulders haha I only really "wander" if it's like, planned to go further

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? I have a LOT OF PARTNERS I'll just write about the boyfriend who SENT ME THESE Okay my favorite thing??? That he's mentally ill as well, has his own issues, and still knows that mental health isn't something that gets better in a day. That there's gonna be ups and downs and he's always here for me!! He's very supportive and loyal I love him so much

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Hhnnn there's a lot of them actually, I care about my friends a lot!!! I try to help people a lot ;;w;;

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? LMAAOOOOOOOOO yeah, my bf's ex, who's a toxic little shit that blocked us and tried to say we hurt them. Then their friend who THEY kept telling us was toxic came to us, showed us everything the ex said, and we had the SAME EXACT screenshots about the FRIEND that the ex sent!!! Ridiculous.

55. Share a relationship story. Aaa a good one!!!! Okay um, I choose my first visit to see my BF in person!!! I got to borrow a car and come visit for like, almost a full week! I came during Thanksgiving, got to meet him and his family, we went out shopping and out to eat like every day, I was crying so fucking hard when I had to leave AND NOW I LIVE WITH HIM!!! After just over a year from that first visit!! We've been living together since late January of this year <3

58. What are five ways to win your heart? OH MAN okay uh -Call me by nicknames!!!! -GIVE ME GIFTS listen... I'm materialistic, but not for expensive things. Give me a cool rock. Send me a cute pet on CS. I'm a happy fox. -Tell me how much I mean to you!!! God I love the reassurance, ESPECIALLY when I'm like doubting my place in people's lives I get so self conscious aaaaa tell me I mean a lot to you and i'll MELT -Hmm I guess this is more flirty/sexual but, I love being lowkey threatened o////o like, tell me how you wanna hurt me, control me, that sort of thing -BE POSSESSIVE/CLAIM ME like,,,, holy fuck my heart's beating just THINKING OF IT. Like okay, to be clear, I'm poly, I'm gonna date other people so if you're ACTUALLY not good sharing do not do this xD But like, my partner will jokingly do this and I love it aaaa I also have friends who do it and i love iiittt~ Like just "my Lyric" AAAAAAAAAAA

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? Three years! That's counting body age, not like system member ages. (They're all adults though, if anything they're older than me xD)

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? H... having sex? I mean I guess it's like, anything past kissing? Like, touching and stuff I would consider "sexual activities" I guess?

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? OOOHHHH /)///////(\ eeeheheheh, I like being kissed, kissing on my neck, nipping/biting, teasing my nipples, th-those sort of things, and like GRINDING AGAINST ME aaaaaa //////

66. What is your favourite roleplay? OOOHHHHHH I love getting my ass kicked, like beat me up, cut me up, mark me, HURT ME Also, I'm usually a bottom, but I like to fight back >:3c

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? I've said it once I'll say it again: The movies. I love going to the movies SO MUCH I love being in a dark room, seeing something cool, honestly??? If I could like go to the movies and see like 3-4 movies in a row, I'd do it. I WANT POPCORN AND A DRINK THO, candy we can sneak in LOL

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Ooooohhhh I don't actually,,,, know! Like I just like people being nice to me!! Calling me cute nicknames, petting my head, all of that hehe

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? I don't have one, I don't think?? I'd like to have like SOME fandoms/interests the same but like???? other than that, I'm not huge like into "THEY MUST BE ATTRACTIVE" but I also might hit like the rose-colored-glasses stage cause there aren't many people in the world that aren't attractive to me?

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY SO okay oh my god so when my bf and I started dating we would call EVERY TIME I was driving and talk, and I loved it SO MUCH aaaa but like So every morning we would call and we had this little "heeeyyyy~" we would do every morning and like Okay so, at one point some shit was going down (with his asshole ex ruining our lives) and we broke up And after we got back together, he was like "One thing I really missed was your little heeyyyy~s every morning" AND THAT WAS SO SWEET AND SAD AND CUTE I LOVE YOU BABY

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? I.................. y'know. I'm not a sweet person I don't think asldfkjsdf I mean I gush and talk up my loved ones all the time so like !!!! I don't think I do anything amazing?? Uuuhhh best I can come up with is like, teasing my bf with feeder stuff when we're out, and he gets so EMBARRASSED it's so cute though hehe

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS BABY I LOVE YOU!!!!!

#anon #fox answers #aaaaaa thank you baby!!!!#pred #Anonymous

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thefanciestborrower · 4 years

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prey 2,3; pred 4,7; creator 2-5

Thanks so much for the asks! I answered all these for myself but it anyone ever wants to ask my characters something then fill free! I might even answer with drawings sometimes

Prey

2. What’s your favorite kind of pred?

The sweet, caring kind or the sassy, I-do-this-because-I-want, or some other kind?

I tend to lean more towards sweet and caring preds. They’re just so precious and kind it’s impossible to say no if they ask to eat you. But there is something to be said about the more sassy kinds of preds. The ones who love messing with their prey by teasing them and pressing them against their hungry belly. Honestly there aren’t many types of preds I don’t like so long as being eaten by them doesn’t involve anything sexual or fatal.

3. What’s your motivation for being a prey? Is it a security mindset or do you just enjoy the ride?

I simply love the cozy feeling of being snuggled up inside someone. It’s just a nice place to unwind and just relax after a busy day. Plus it can be a fun thrill ride as well. Like a warm slimy rollercoaster!

Pred

4. What’s your motivation for being a pred? Do you eat people just because you’re bored, or for another reason?

Hmm, I think what I like about eating folks is the warm wiggly feeling you get as they slip down into your stomach. It’s a very good way to bond with someone in my opinion and besides getting a warm meal it’s also nice just to have someone protected so thoroughly from the world. Sometimes it’s just cause I’m bored and want a challenging snack tho.

7. How does your favorite prey react to being eaten?

For me personally I’d say my favorite prey is Jake. I’ve listed him as a pred before but he’s really sort of a switch. He’s not a huge fan of being eaten but he’s very polite to one’s insides regardless, and his long coils make him an extra filling meal. Not to mention he is very good at giving tummy rubs since, being a pred himself, he knows all the secrets.

Creator

2. Who’re your favorite pred characters? Why are they your favorite?

Hmm, this is a bit of a hard one since I have so many good pred characters. I think I’m going to have to go with my naga boys Leo and Jake. Think I posted at least one pic of both on here so far.

Leo is just a huge softy and I just love how sweet and considerate he is with his prey, even if he sometimes ends up scaring them. He can get a little too enthusiastic when it comes to a wiggly meal, especially when it’s a friend of his. And something he does forget to ask.

Jake I like because he’d rather not eat anyone all together. He’s pretty shy when it comes to actually eating anyone, since he sees it mostly as something that’s rather rude and impolite. However he actually really likes having someone inside since it does feel really nice, but of course he’d never ever admit that.

3. Who’re your favorite prey characters? Why are they your favorite?

Oof this one is even harder to answer lol. I’m far from having posted all my characters, so two of thes are’t on here yet, but I have to say I like my boys Aiden, William, and Nero.

Aiden is a relatively chill individual until he’s faced with the prospect of going down someone’s throat lmao. He’s definitely unwilling no matter the situation and will squirm and fight and shout until he wears himself out. But sometimes, if someone really needs it, he’ll offer to go inside even though it scares him.

William is probably the sweetest person you’d ever meet and he won’t hesitate to let someone eat him. He likes snuggling up inside friends and even strangers so long as they don’t plan on hurting him. And even when faced with a deadly predator he might put up a fight, but he understands that everyone needs to eat and won’t hold it against someone for trying to digest him.

Nero is...a rather interesting character lol. He’s the only one of these three who isn’t human, but really the only difference is he’s got a awesome pair of wings. He’s the literal definition of willing prey and has been known to all but shove himself down someone’s throat before (rip Jake). Sure he was a bit scared the first time he was eaten, but now he can’t think of a more fun way to spend the day. Oh, and he’s a squirmer. The guy will get super excited once down and it takes a lot of convincing to get him to stop wiggling.

4. Do you have a select type of pred you like (human/oid, kemo, anthro, feral/other)?

In general I tend to like humans and humanoids like nagas and merfolk for this, though people with animal parts like ears and tails are fine. Idk why, that’s just how I’ve always been. I don’t heavily dislike other preds and sometimes even like feral stuff when it comes to things like dragons, but as a rule I lean towards the more human lookin folks.

5. Do you have a select type of prey you like (human/oid, kemo, anthro, feral/other)?

This is basically the same as the predator ask. My preferences are human/humanoid for the most part and the only exceptions tend to be dragons and other similar creatures.

#Wow this got long #hope this is what you are asking for lol #I’m gonna make a post with a character list #so that should make asking easier #Vore ask meme

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robertdowneyjjr · 7 years

Text

au where jack plays football and bitty’s still a hockey player

in the form of my chat with @brandnewfashion bc honestly i’m way too lazy to reformat this.

(interspersed with random mentions of cornbread and the preds v pens game)

kayytx

anyway so

i was thinking last night before i fall asleep

as i often do

au where jack plays football and bitty plays hockey

brandnewfashion

niiiiiiiiice

kayytx

jack decided to go for football bc he wanted to get away from the whole hockey prodigy thing

brandnewfashion

very nice

kayytx

his plan was to go to some school in canada, maybe western ontario or something, and play a few years in the cfl if he gets drafted

but he ended up getting a scholarship for samwell

bitty's still bitty. same story etc etc

kayytx

and when he and jack meet they HATE EACH OTHER

well no

bitty hates jack

bc he thinks jack is just another dumb football player and he's already had enough bad experiences with those guys in high school thank u very much

brandnewfashion

ok but who on the smh is in hockey and who's on football

kayytx

honestly i didn't think about that part

but i was thinking

bc in this au jack didn't od

so their age difference is only like two years

brandnewfashion

i'm just curious in terms of team dynamics

kayytx

i kinda want the falcs to be the football players

and this is another one of those bitty-doesn't-know-how-hot-he-is au's

jack has the biggest fucking crush on bitty

brandnewfashion

um honey

i'm pretty sure bitty not knowing he's hot is canon

but carry on lmao

kayytx

HAHAHAHAHA

OK TRUE

FAIR ENOUGH

but u get what i'm saying

brandnewfashion

yes

kayytx

like just imagine them meeting in the caf one day and at first bitty's super charmed by jack

but then he sees jack go sit with the football team

and he's like

OH. WELL THEN.

brandnewfashion

LOL

kayytx

MOVING ON.

but from that moment on jack's just smitten

except for some reason since then every time he sees bitty, bitty's just??? super cold??? why??????

he thought they had a pretty good first meeting

and even shittier is

when coach calls, he'd occasionally mention to bitty how he's been keeping up with both the smh and samwell's football team

hazards of the job, you know?

and wow that zimmermann kid looks pretty good this season

bitty's like omg coach please stfu

brandnewfashion

this is really random but i want corn bread :(

kayytx

meanwhile jack's on the phone with bad bob and he's talking about how he MIGHT be taking an interest in hockey again for REASONS

lmfao that's so random

anyway bob knows jack and he's like, "oh pls jack, spit it out, who's the boy"

brandnewfashion

LOL

kayytx

and jack spills and he ends the story with "HE'S SO OUT OF MY LEAGUE??? AND CLEARLY HE KNOWS IT BC HE'S SO COLD, PAPA. SO COLD"

brandnewfashion

YAY HORNQVIST

kayytx

no matter tho, jack starts going to as many hockey games as possible

and he's bitty's biggest puck bunnyu

brandnewfashion

bahahhahaha

kayytx

his whole team teases him for it but they also really want to help him date bitty but bitty's just...so cold....to all of them

and they just don't understand

brandnewfashion

pls tell me rans and holster step in

kayytx

football team: but we aren't the lax bros????

lmfao yes they do

brandnewfashion

NICE

kayytx

holster's been badgering bitty about winter screw bc he really wants his favorite frog to enjoy his first college dance

and eventually bitty lets it slip that he may have a thing for a tall blue eyed football captain but that doesn't matter bc all football dudes are the same and they're the worst and that's why he got the fuck outta georgia in the first place

and rans and holster are at the kitchen table listening to bitty rant and they look at each other like

bro

BRO

BROOOOOOO

rans is friends with jack bc canadians

loopholes and shit

brandnewfashion

he should be science bros with tater or something hahaha

kayytx

HAHAHAH omg that could work

brandnewfashion

and tater's like

"I HAVE FRIEND WHO IS CANADIAN TOO"

kayytx

backstory: ransom and tater were lab partners for a class and they had to do this really dumb experiment with potatoes and genius struck ransom like the canadian scientists he always references and that's how he nicknamed tater

brandnewfashion

LOL

awww fehr's in the sin bin

kayytx

tater: i like this nickname. is much better than "mushy mashy"

ransom: bro u gotta quit the football team they don't respect u

brandnewfashion

bahahhahaha

kayytx

tater: mama always told me to play hockey because am russian. but i wanted to, how you say? be out of the box

brandnewfashion

awwwwwwwww

kayytx

lmfao anyway so ransom like, vaults over several hedges to get to the football house

idk why he won't just use the sidewalks like a normal person but he got excited and his brain stopped functioning properly

brandnewfashion

~dramatic effect

kayytx

and he slams open the door and he's like

ZIMMERMANN IS MY FAVORITE FROG ERIC BITTY BITS BITTLE THE GUY YOU'RE ALWAYS YAMMERING ON ABOUT BC BOY DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU

jack isn't even there

brandnewfashion

the nashville coach looks like he could be in the mafia

kayytx

he's in class. wtf ransom

brandnewfashion

lololol

kayytx

snowy pokes his head out from the living room and he's like, dude can u like, text him or something

brandnewfashion

but that'd be too easy

kayytx

ransom just goes up to jack's room to wait and somehow he finds a stuffed cat toy??? somewhere?? and puts it on his lap so he could stroke it for dramatic effect

jack comes home

brandnewfashion

maybe it's poots'

HORNQVIST!!!

lmao the commentator: "class horny goal"

that sounds so wrong

kayytx

rans: zimmermann. you come into my house, on the day my daughter is to be married, and you ask me to do murder for money jack: what the fuck justin

rans: idk man, holster texted this to me and told me to say it. anyway, we're setting you up for winter screw

so holster convinces bitty they've found someone perfect for him and he really shouldn't worry about it bc they

're bros and they only want whats best for him

ransom helps jack like, not be such an awkward weirdo

and gives jack the rundown on the Secret to Bitty's Heart Playbook he was compiling on the dl

(it's a spreadsheet obvi)

so the day of winter screw comes and bitty's nervous but he's all dressed up bc he's not gonna let something as stupid as nerves get in the way of him looking fab

brandnewfashion

oh my god??? sid just... idk what the fuck he just did but it was hot

kayytx

and jack shows up on the door with a bouquet of flours and a crate of cherries in the shape of a heart

brandnewfashion

dork

kayytx

umm the minute there's a gif or a video of that sid moment pls send it to me

BITTY MELTS but he needs to put up an act bc he's not gonna be all gushy RIGHT AWAY

so he """"grudgingly"" goes to winter screw with jack

but they have a ridiculously good time

and bitty's like, oh no he's NICE

jack walks bitty home afterwards and kisses him on the cheek bc he's a dweeb and they make plans to go to annies the next day

THEN THEY START DATING

brandnewfashion

omg omg

can bitty do that thing

jack kisses him on the cheek and bitty's like

"you missed"

kayytx

HAHA YES

but bitty's a lil shit so he makes jack wait until the next day

"guess you'll have to try harder tomorrow ;);)"

brandnewfashion

get it bits

kayytx

jack dies

jack loves dying and being dead

brandnewfashion

oh gosh

and when they go home for winter break they cannot shut up about the each other

and their parents are like

"look we're really happy for u but u need to tone it down for the love of god"

kayytx

lmfaaoooo

except bob

bob is like

TELL ME MOAR

jack: pls never come to another parents weekend again and maybe not even my graduation oh my god u are so embarrassing

brandnewfashion

lmao parents weekend is gonna be such a shit show

bob and suzanne are gonna be trading stories all night and jack and bitty are gonna be holding onto each other for dear life in the corner, chugging their beers so they go away

long story short, jack and bitty eventually get together and bob and suzanne are both MENACES and the most embarrassing parents bc they just love their kids so much

**note: when i said “their age difference is only two years” i don’t mean bc jack didn’t OD they have a smaller age difference lol i meant in this au jack didn’t OD and their age difference is smaller lol sorry for the confusion but when i’m rambling on chat i don’t really pay attention to conjunctions and grammar and spelling and shit.

#omgcp #zimbits #omgcheckplease #jack zimmermann #eric bittle #brandnewfashion #kay writes things #melissa bb we really need that google doc this is like the only way i'm saving our fics

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selkienicke · 6 years

Text

Okay so now that we’re ? mostly? through the news portion of the summer, here are my Hot Takes about Stanley Cup 2019 stuff/some general season opinions. I’m probably going to update this when we hear for sure about Tom Wilson and Erik Karlsson, but this is written with the assumption they’re doing as predicted (Tom staying in Wash for at least 4, EK to Tampa) in case I forget. Obviously I’d love a Capitals repeat. In my mind, most likely/in some ways preferable scenario is 1-2 year slight retooling, then another cup, but we’ll see. Just, how Max Narrative would it be for Ovi to go out on a cup year, right? I really want the Coyotes and the Sabres to have a good season! I don’t think either of them is to potential playoffs competing quality, but I think they’re going in the right direction and I’m excited about their upcoming few years. Kinda same with Avs, tho I think they’re closer? I haven’t gotten a solid read on their potential as a team from what I’ve been listening to. Obviously I hope Grubi kills it. In my ‘likely(ish) playoff prospects’ bracket, obvi again I gotta put Sharks at the top. I would be happy with Golden Knights or Jets winning the cup. I like both teams and their fan bases a lot, and I would have been okay losing to either of them in playoffs this year. Preds I have some reservations but am generally positive on. Tampa....just very mixed feelings. Honestly, I like the team fine, I just was so incredibly negatively impressed by their fans during this playoffs season. There was just a lot of Gross stuff that made me :///. Idk, assuming they get Erik Karlsson I think they’re in good shape to win or be a serious contender, which...I mean the other big team everyone is up on rn is the Leafs who (sorry) are my new most despised team so. (To be clear, my reasons are like 90% irrational/emotional and 10% ‘fuck you John Tavares’/‘I deeply distrust Kyle Dubas and the entire convo around him’. Nothing really against the Leafs per se. I mean? They’re fine without me obviously lmao but I just want to be clear this isn’t like a Hawks/Habs/Sens scenario where I’m going to kind of side-eye people who are fans of the franchise. If I had magic hockey powers I’d probs have used them to get the Habs the leadership shakeups the Islanders have, bc I so much want to like them.) Can we please like jaws of death get Carey Price out of Montreal? Please? Idk the Wild have a cool aesthetic so I might follow them a little. Know literally 0 about them otherwise. I also just....resent the Islanders for taking B Trotz which makes NO SENSE but there we are! On the other hand, lots of Islanders fans hate John Tavares as much as me rn so....I kind of hope they get a reverse Marc-Andre Fleury spiritual victory. Also, Mat Barzal has managed to Charm me (and everyone), so. Honestly I’m not hating the Pens this year! We’ll see if that holds up, but I would like everyone to Eat Their Words with all the endless Jack Johnson contract complaining. Also, like, I do want Matt Murray to do well now that MAF has clearly won the breakup with Pitt. So I guess, Pens you’re on notice but currently I don’t care so much about you. Where the fuck did Beags go? Canucks? And museum guy went to Canes maybe? Anyway I hope they both do good and are happy. I’m sort of vaguely keeping an eye on the Canes in the next few years bc I like Andrei Svechnikov a lot. I keep trying to hunt down some kind of emotion for the Blues since they’re like? Sort of close to me? But no luck so far. Stars, kinda same? I like them okay (and they got a draft pick I like), but Arizona has p firmly clinched my youngish underdog y team emotional investment spot. (I don’t know that the Stars could really be called underdogs, but yk.) Columbus please distinguish yourself in SOME way because I’m continually confused that your jersey is some kind of 4th string Caps jersey. Anyone else? I mean, I kind of hope the Kings exceed expectations because I’m generally :/// about the way hockey culture is about ‘older’ players, but also like....Kings don’t really need another cup and depending on how their Situation plays out I might have serious reasons to dislike them. I hope the Rangers do okay, because I am sort of keeping eyes out for K’andre Miller and Vitali Kravtsov, assuming either/both of them stay there. Flyers kind of same? I feel vaguely fond of them for no real reason. (Okay, because Nolan Patrick and Claude Giroux’s dog instagram are both adorable. Don’t @ me) What’s Alex Semin doing this season and can I find a way to watch KHL games in English? Also, I need to pick a women’s hockey team at some point.

#personal #well i need to head out and STILL nothing on karlsson watch so #talk to me about yalls opinions

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