TBH, the OFMD fandom lulled me into a false sense of security. Apart from a few weirdos, it's so nice and people are nice and supportive. The taste of the Marvel fandom that I've gotten in the last few days has been vile.

Taika is just the last in a series of chosen targets that get attacked whenever thr fans don't get what they want. The personal nature of these is particularly upsetting

It's making me very scared about him making a Star Wars film because we already know how awful the fandom can be 😦

chip grades the star wars

by representation of women

Time for more unasked for and only mildly thought through opinions by me. Usually I rate with numbers but for whatever reason this one was easier to do by letter grades (American-style, sorry). I’ve been known to forget important shit so I reserve the right to totally change my mind once I remember or am reminded. Okay, worst to best with the women I can name/remember and not-so-brief explanations:

Resistance:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I wish I’d kept watching this both times I’ve started. Seems like there’s some good women in it. But unfortunately still a male lead. Bleh.

Revenge of the Sith: D-

Crying Padme…………….Beru cameo….dead Jedi… -- This one is ROUGH. If I didn’t love the movie it would be an F. There’s literally one woman who appears for more than like 10 seconds and she gets murdered by her husband. Not a great look.

Attack of the Clones: D

Padme, dying Shmi, uhhh...Jocosta Nu…? -- Maybe could have been C level if they hadn’t made poor Padme look so insane in falling for Anakin AFTER he rants about slaughtering a bunch of innocent people for no reason.

Empire Strikes Back: C-

Leia…..randos in background -- If it was made today, Lando’d be a chick. Lando’d be Sana Starros. I wanna see that movie. Holy shit I wanna see that movie.

The Phantom Menace: C

Shmi, Padme, not-Padme, Yaddle? -- Really running the gamut in this one. We’ve got “everything” from Slave Virgin Mary to badass queen but also is-that-even-the-queen-or-is-it-just-her-decoy. If it was made today there’d be at least 2 lady pod racers so ahem, Lucasfilm get on it.

A New Hope: C

Leia, Aunt Beru -- I was very tempted to rate all the OT ones higher just because of how fucking wonderful Leia is and to be fair she is of course the best female character of the time in this type of movie. But…..come the fuck on. TWO women in a whole movie and one of them wasn’t allowed to wear underwear and the other gets literally roasted to a crisp??? Do better, George.

Return of the Jedi: C

Leia, Mon Mothma…..Jabba’s dancing girls? -- Same shit, different flick.

The Rise of Skywalker: B-

Rey, Leia, Jannah, Maz a little, Rose I guess, Jodie Comer, etc. -- Kinda don’t know what to say about all this. I had B+ at first but I feel like there was a lot of wasted potential. Outside of Rey (and Leia stuff I can’t talk about without losing it) there’s not much to look at here.

Rogue One: B-

Jyn, Lyra, Mon Mothma, Leia cameo, lady pilots!! -- Gonna get up on my soapbox and say that Mon Mothma is one of the most underrated Star Wars characters. I’d talk about Jyn and Lyra but then I might start cr--nope, I’m already crying.

Solo: B

Qi’ra, Val, L3-37 (absolutely counts), Enfys -- I absolutely LOVE every woman in this movie. Would be an A if half the big ones didn’t die :/

The Clone Wars: B

Ahsoka, Padme, Satine, Bo-Katan, various Jedi -- Had this at a C+ before I remembered there were more centrally recurring people than Ahsoka and Padme, BUT. One dies, one’s a part-time terrorist, and the others are just plug and play. Kinda still want to go B- but Ahsoka’s really carrying this shit across the finish line.

Rebels: B+

Hera, Sabine, Governor Pryce, Ketsu, Leia cameo -- I would die and kill for both Hera and Sabine. If and when they come to live action I will cease to exist.

The Force Awakens: A-

Rey, Leia, Maz, Phasma, various rebels -- It’s never not going to give me a chill to watch Rey pilot the Falcon or call the lightsaber to her past [redacted]. Never. I feel bad for every fanboy who hated it. They’re really missing out.

The Last Jedi: A

Rey, Leia, Maz, Phasma, Rose, Holdo, various rebels -- Physically pains me to give this such a strong grade when one of the things I loathe about this movie is the Rey + [redacted] stuff but I’m big enough to say it does a great job with basically everyone else. Except Phasma. Fuck you for that one, Rian. (also someone ask me about Holdo, I need to talk about her more than this)

The Mandalorian: A

Cara, Omera, Pelli, Fennec, Xi’an, Frog Lady, Bo-Katan, Koska, Ahsoka -- I mean holy shit. So many (hot) women. So many different kinds of women! This is the bar. Oh, if only one of them could be a real full-time character and not written off the show because she’s played by a trash person :((((((  (also, like,,,fucking name Frog Lady pls. Misty Rosas deserves that)

Bonus grade for canon SW books/comics: A+ --  Doctor Aphra, Sana Starros, Rae Sloane, Norra Wexley, Alphabet Squadron gals, Avar Kriss & other High Republic ladies, so many more -- On the whole, this is actually the standard. So many of these things have female leads and there’s absolutely no reason not to do that more on the big screen. I have no idea what some of my favorite Star Wars women are supposed to look like because they’re just stuck in books. Which is a great medium, don’t get me wrong. But they deserve more!!

In which Star Wars was uplifting af for a hot second and we all hoped they wouldn’t fuck it up

TROS got a lot wrong (howls into the Rey nobody/Rose Tico void forever) but boy did they get one thing right and that was the rise of Ben Solo on Kef Bir.

And maybe I’m misinterpreting this Important Man Work with my delicate lady eyes, but for me it was about a bit more than the symbolism of Kylo Ren’s “death”, which has been much picked over already and confirmed by the production team. The tl;dr is that the whole sequence felt like it ran far deeper than a simple death-rebirth cycle, and there’s a certain rhythm to how this sequence goes down that is just pure poetry. So, I have to have do a breakdown.

Caveat: Some of my read on it may be way off what was actually intended because I fully believe this movie was written by a team of barely-sentient walruses with fanboy party hats on and we should probably lower our expectations with regards to emotional intelligence but here goes anyway.

The location is a ruined Death Star in the middle of a churning sea. A RUINED DEATH STAR. IN A CHURNING SEA.

What better metaphor is there for Kylo Ren? All of the conflict, all of the rage and all of his chaotic energy in the Force which led him down this path, embodied in roiling water. Everything he aspired to, the power and glory of Darth Vader, rotting and fragile and corrupted by the very same turmoil that corrupted Ben Solo.

Safety info: walruses shouldn’t be allowed trowels at all, let alone permitted to use them to lay it on so damn heavy.

So in the middle of this mad-dramatique metaphor Kylo Ren is chasing Rey. She lures him to the very, very edge of this Death Star, this old, crumbling dream of his, to fight him to the death. SWEET LORD THEY ARE SO STRONG AND EVENLY MATCHED IN THE FORCE AND MY KINK LIVES.

And then: Leia calls.

His mother, her mother, the mother of every Star Wars fan that ever lived. She calls. And Kylo Ren brbs out of battle headspace, Leia dies with the effort of it and Rey spears him with his own lightsabre just as they both feel Leia’s light putter out.

Silence.

This is where I get very emo even for me.  I can’t remember if the score was cut – it probably wasn’t – but it may as well have been because I just heard white noise. WHAT. A. MOMENT.

Obviously this changes everything but not in the way I – or these two characters – had been prepared for. Because what really sticks is that Kylo getting skewered isn’t the Important Development here. It’s utterly incidental. The most important development in this whole edge of the world scenario is that Leia is dead.

(Sidebar: I know that Chris Terrio has said that some of what followed was intended as Leia mindfuckery, but seeing as a) I hate that, and b) they chose to insert her “death” at the point where she reached out to Ben, I’m ignoring that extra-textual info hashtag walrus).

We get a couple of shocked seconds as Kylo Ren and Rey process. Kylo doesn’t even seem to notice that he has a gaping hole in his torso. Rey looks numb. Neither of them seem aware that the other is present. But then she looks at him and oh- not only is he physically broken, visibly made of the same flesh and bone that she is, but that horror she feels is reflected right back at her.

It’s a moment of parallel, silent grief and shared, binding humanity, and that is what I think leads her to heal him. Suddenly, she can no longer see a monster. She sees only a human being, pitiful, lost and wrecked, someone who meant something to Leia and she to him, and because’s she’s Rey, her compassion and empathy and all her inherent kindness kick in.

And look, this is where I diverge from some of the more critical views on Bendemption and its real-world meaning. Because I don’t think this particular redemption story is really about the rendemptee. This isn’t a story that centres male pain (although there is plenty of it in the ancilliary material and I Do Not Forget Ben Solo’s pain) and it isn’t a story that makes the case for redemption on a man’s inherent “goodness”. In fact Kylo/Ben, his character and rap sheet, don’t really matter in this moment.

What matters is Rey, and the choices she makes when she’s looking into the darkness herself. Her mentor is dead. She’s just won a battle and has sentenced her enemy to death. It would be very easy for her to grab that little slice of darkness she’s been so tempted by this whole time. Salve the wound of her grief with the feeling of power over another. Satiate her loneliness with anger. But she doesn’t. She chooses kindness. She chooses love.

And like, I don’t mean romantic love, shipper though I be. I mean the love that Rey has within her, separate from her idea of justice and completely unrelated to forgiveness or “deserving”.

This love that Rey has for Leia, for the Resistance, for Han, for her vanquished drama queen enemy Kylo Ren, for hot mess Ben Solo, for everyone, is so fucking powerful and redemptive in its own right it needs an executive assistant and its own en suite bathroom. It’s on her face as she weeps uncontrollably as she heals him (and damn, Daisy Ridley absolutely smashed this whole scene), and it’s reflected in his face which is – thank you Adam Driver for this – utterly incredulous that she would give him another chance at life when he knows damn well he isn’t owed one.

That is when she deals the sucker punch. She doesn’t offer him forgiveness. She tells him what he could have had if he hadn’t made his choices. “Ben’s hand” is the hand of someone who chooses the light, commits to it and sacrifices for it. Which means: power and glory isn’t worth her soul, and it shouldn’t be worth his either. That his inner conflict means nothing on its own. That the mere existence of goodness within him would never have been enough for her. Then she leaves.

*screams into a pillow for all eternity*

According to George Lucas, Star Wars has always been about love. And it’s shrouded in this cloak of unconditional human love – and I am not a fan of unconditional love in a relationship context but HOLY FUCK this is the love that counts here – that Ben Solo finds the strength to compartmentalise Kylo Ren and confront the worst thing he’s ever done: the death of his father. And the forgiveness Memory!Han implicitly offers (and it ABSOLUTELY tracks that Han Solo, who canonically cherished his son even after he was murdered by him, would offer him forgiveness, fight me) is what gives him the strength to turn away from the Dark Side, let his anger go and let the churning sea claim his cracked, volatile crossguard.

Leia’s sacrifice, Rey’s compassion and Han’s forgiveness, all powered by love, rebuilt a whole-ass PERSON and that shit is hopeful af. I thought – wow this is GENUINELY UPLIFTING AND MOVING, I hope they don’t fuck it up.

*looks at the camera like I’m in the Office*

Anyway, Ben Solo lives. Peace out.

**TROS SPOILER WARNING** I saw it and ... 💔💔💔

Well after waiting 2 years, I finally saw The Rise of Skywalker and wow I’m devastated, confused, and angry. The worst thing that they could’ve possibly done they did. They killed Ben Solo Skywalker. I don’t know why screen writers today do this bullshit “bittersweet romance” thing where the two lovers finally have each other, only for one to die when it’s not necessary?!? It’s so cruel. The way the entire ending played out after they killed him, was like the knife they’d stabbed me with was being twisted. I can’t stop crying.

Rey defeated Palpatine, Ben pulled himself out of the pit (lol yes), cradle Rey is his arms lovingly, decided to try to Force heal her (I always had a feeling Ben would bring Rey back to life, because Anakin could never save Padme). Rey is alive again she says “Ben”, caresses him, they kiss, he smiles, REYLO IS CANON, and then shock twist he slumps and then instantly fades away. He’s dead.

LIKE WHAT THE ACTUALLY FUCK IS THAT JJ???? The final Skywalker, the one you’ve been building up as a tragically misunderstood, abuse victim dies sacrificing his life for Rey’s. Han, Luke and Leia all died and hoped that Ben would return to the light. And yeah sure he did, but I would’ve thought that his family would have wanted him to return to the light and LIVE out the rest of his days happily. Doesn’t he deserve that??

There’s so many confusing aspects to this, like A) why did he become “redeemed” then die sacrificing himself just like Vader? I thought that was the problem with the OT and why we have the ST... being that Vader died too soon and didn’t complete the full redemption journey and return to that innocent happy boy he once was and teach his story to others? B) does Rey love Ben? Because the whole movie was framed like she did. But the second he died, I don’t think she called out or even cried???? She goes back to the Resistance and is happy and hugs Finn and Poe. UGH THE “TRIO”. Isn’t she devastated she’s lost her love Ben? And then when she goes back to Tatooine, she sees Force ghost Leia and Luke but no Ben??!???!? A final slap in the face. C) since Ben and Rey were a “Dyad” and were one through the Force, I feel like they should’ve been able to both easily live??? Why bother making them Dyad if it ain’t going to serve the story at all? Is it supposed to just be a cop out and explain the Force Bonds? It’s all so infuriating.

They only reason I can think of why they’d kill Ben Solo is because they wanted to close the loophole of the “Skywalkers” so that they didn’t fuck anything up with the Force’s balance again. But even then that’s seems like a very thin idea, because Rey still exists and she’s a “Palpatine” and is uber powerful? How exactly was the Force finally brought into balance through this movie? Palpatine was defeated and the Palpatine bloodline/legacy “redeemed”? It doesn’t make much sense. GAH I would’ve preferred both Ben and Rey die, since their equals, why would one live and not the other?

They only reason I can think of why they’d kill Ben Solo is because they wanted to close the loophole of the “Skywalkers” so that they didn’t fuck anything up with the Force’s balance again. But even then that’s seems like a very thin idea, because Rey still exists and she’s a “Palpatine” and is uber powerful? How exactly was the Force finally brought into balance through this movie? Palpatine was defeated and the Palpatine bloodline/legacy “redeemed”? It doesn’t make much sense. GAH I would’ve preferred both Ben and Rey die, since their equals, why would one live and not the other?

To be honest, I was enjoying the film for the first half. It opened with Kylo/Ben so that’s a great. And the Force Bond scenes with Kylo/Ben and Rey screaaaaamed Reylo love. But so many of the leaks were right, it was becoming quite comical. And looking back of the film now it was all very clunky and had a lot of convoluted stuff in there that was so illogical and didn’t really serve a strong purpose to the narrative or any character development. When the watery Death Star scene went down, it seemed like (trope wise) that this would be the moment the Reylo kiss happens, but the dialogue wasn’t right it wasn’t angsty. And I thought, “oh no Reylo is not happening”. But then Bendemption happened and I was okay again. And by the time Rey went to confront Palpatine, I’d realised Ben really hasn’t been given enough screen time in this film, he wasn’t going to be the “hero” in this finally showdown, this was very firmly Rey’s story/saga. Which seemed odd, because they’re equals “dual protagonists”??! As Rey defeated Palpatine I was confused as to what the hell, because there was an obvious emphasis on all the Force ghosts telling HER alone to “Rise”, including Anakin. This was deeeply concerning because what about his own grandson Ben Solo??? At this point I didn’t know what was going to happen with Ben. But then like I said before he pulled himself out of the “pit”, very romantically came back for her and saved her and then just D I E D like it was nothing. I repeat W T F.

Now here’s all the other stuff I didn’t like about the film: - There was zero character development, except for Ben finally turning to the light and then he DIED - SNOKE WAS A PALPATINE CLONE???????? WTF JJ ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK? This was an early red flag that I should have heeded. I feel like all the fanboys finally feel satisfied with knowing Snoke’s backstory. - Where the fuck was Rose? Why didn’t she say like 3 words and get .5 screen time? that was some bulllllllllsshit. Why was she introduced in TLJ just to be sidelined? - Why the FUCK did they bother to make Finn Force sensitive? They hinted at it, and he never even got to tell anyone. It didn’t serve the story at all?!?!? Such a waste of time - Poe got to have a romantic happy ending with Zorri, while Reylo did not. - The C-P30 memory wipe had no lasting consequences, R2-D2 restored him in like 2 hrs? This screentime could’ve been used for Ben. All of Kijimi could’ve been scrapped to be honest. - The Knights of Ren were extremely useless, you could’ve swapped them for stormtroopers and it wouldn’t have made a different. Very disappointing. - Jannah was also useless, this screentime and scripttime could’ve been used for Rose. Her stormtroopers rebellion story was so heavy handed and terribly done. - Same goes for Dominic’s character, why did he exist? - Lando being back was also under-utilised, he had history with Ben why didn’t they use that? - Sooo many of the terrible leaks were true: the necklace grab, Luke/Leia training, Hux being a mole which was confusing and then he just died, Rey thinking she killed Chewie, the Sith dagger and C-3PO blah blah, Ben falling into “a pit” lol, the film finishing with Rey going to Tattooine and saying “I’m Rey, Rey Skywalker.” As soon as I saw Tatooine, I wanted to vomit because I knew that horrible horrible line was coming. - It wasn’t explained as to why Kylo remade his mask - Ben and Rey didn’t say I love you. And tbh, it’s probably good then didn’t since JJ killed Ben. - The finally “war” was very underwhelming and took place on one star destroyer - I was really hoping for some awesome Force Bond “world between worlds” jumping location stuff, and/or awesome new Reylo powers (but it was just healing)... so this was underwhelming. - I don’t know why Ben didn’t kill Palpatine instantly, opening scene? - They really emphasised babies and children on Pasaana with Rey, so I thought this was obvious foreshadowed of her and Ben’s future.... but no. - Pyrde wasn’t that interesting of a character, well acted but one-dimensional. - I really really hated Rey being a Palpatine. It makes no sense? I loved her being a no body and getting her powers from herself. What about her father, Palpatine’s son?? Did Palpatine try to get his son to kill him as well??? It’s so illogical. Also if everyone has to be if legacy blood, does this mean that Finn is a Konobi?! HAHAHA. I also hate how they added the fact that Leia and Luke “knew” she was a Palps all along. BAHAHAHAHA. Terrible. - Palptine wanted Rey to kill him, so he could live through her as a vessel. But then he Palpatine took Rey’s and Ben’s life essence, but they didn’t die? But he was back to his 100%. Then Rey killed Palps with the power of “all the Jedi”, and somehow Palpatine died? I thought he was going to go into her if she killed him? Or is the clause that she has to be angry and kill him with hatred? Boyyyyyyyyyy it’s so stupid. I can’t even.

Here’s the stuff I did like: - The Reylo kiss and Ben’s smile. - Ben offering his hand to Rey again, and all their Force Bonds of them trying to one-up each other with how well they know each other’s fears etc. - Him crushing the Sith wayfinding was hawwwwt. He was like if you’re going there, you’re gonna have to go with me. (Also leaves open a plothole of how the fuck did Ben navigate his way there in the finale) - Rey not killing the snake but healing it, yeah it was really odd but I don’t like how previous Jedi always slaughter animals so this was a plus for me. - Ben Solo in his “redeemed” outfit, he looked soo fine, and it reminded me of Han too which was sweet. - Leia’s death being the prompt to finally turning Ben back to the light. Finally a mother she did something right, looool. - I thought it was weird for Star Wars, but I did like Han being back as a memory, to talk with Ben. And the “Dad....” “I know” killed me. I knew they needed to resolve the one evil deed Ben performed, so this worked fine. - I loved Rey mediating with the rocks at the start of the film, and I loved her and Ben’s prequelsque Force jumping. - I loved that Jodie Comer was Rey’s mum!!!!! (I love Jodie) - I did like how the Luke’s water sunken X-wing from TLJ was used in this film, it was predictable but satisfying somehow. - There was so much FinnPoe tension through the film like Poe was jealous of Rey, it was hilarious. - I liked the queer kiss, even though it wasn’t much.

So there that’s everything I needed to say. I would’ve been sad and confused if Reylo didn’t happen, (because they’d set it up for 2 films), but I’m devastated that they killed Ben. Bendemption isn’t truely complete if he doesn’t get to live. I know he means so much to people, people who connected with him/who faced similar trauma as him. I know they’ll be a devastated as I am and that is what makes it so much worst. I saw someone say on Twitter a few weeks ago that it’s be horrible for Ben to die, who had suffered so much only for Rey to take the name of “Skywalker”, basically stealing his identity.

And yeah that’s exactly what happened. Ben deserved better, the fans deserved better, and the Reylo’s deserved better. 💔💔💔💔💔💔 In a few hours I’m seeing it again with my family this time, and I really don’t want want to rewatch it.... isn’t that horrible.

here's some controversy that has nothing to do with social issues.

a lot of people hate the band five finger death punch. saying those words provoked a visceral response in half the people reading this, and a "who?" in the other half. they're a groove metal band; similar to slipknot, mudvayne, disturbed, all that remains, system of a down, korn, and killswitch engage. they're one of those really controversial bands that are hated because they're ~not real metal~ by dumbshits who think that NWOBHM is the only valid metal genre. even though england ruined metal and punk but that's a conbfetsation for another day.

now, if you just don't like metal, that's fine. I don't expect everyone to like every genre. so obviously you won't like them, or any band in the genre. obviously. and these are not the people who are being targeted with this post. no, this goes to those who love metallica, ozzy, megadeth, slayer, pantera, testament, opeth, tool, manowar, meshuggah, children of bodom, cannibal corpse, fear factory, mercyful fate: this is to the people who love metal. now, I say this as one of us, but metalheads are one of the most judgmental groups of people in history. and frequently I find that metalheads make the same remarks in regards to their opinions on five finger death punch.

they do nothing but covers. they just yell and cuss. forty year old men with teenage angst. bad musicianship. they look stupid. they fuck their sisters and daughters. they sold out to the military. they're gay. they do too many ballads. they're redneck bait. they're toxic masculinity and macho personified. they rely on guest stars to carry their songs. they're talentless hacks.

these are all complaints I've heard multiple times from multiple people. and frankly I'm sick of it. I'm sick of hearing the bullshit complaints rather than the ACTUAL REASONS why they aren't the best band in the world. which I'll go through now.

they have an overreliance on breakdowns as if they were a post-hardcore band but they're not. breaking benjamin also skirts the line between post-grunge metal and post-hardcore and have many breakdowns, but the difference is that BB's breakdowns have math rock roots and use different patterns that syncopate well. five finger's breakdowns are... eighth notes. it's the difference between, say, black veil brides- who have excellent syncopated breakdowns- and as I lay dying, who have shitty and boring breakdowns. the only difference is that AILD has blast beats (and is fronted by an abusive asshole), and five finger has... ivan growling threats or whatever because they think that it sounds cool to have metal blaring while he says shit like "you wanna disrespect me? I will slap you so fucking hard you'll feel like you kissed a freight train, fuck you," or "if there was ever a time for you to back the fuck up it's right fuckin here and right fuckin now" or "it's not the size of the dog in the fight it's the size of the fight in the dog," or "in the end we're all just chalk lines on the concrete, drawn only to be washed away; in the time that I've been given, I am what I am", etc, all preceding screams. and no these are not exaggerations, these are literally exact quotes. there's also one that plays radio chatter from the military while he goes "hut hut oorah", which is different slightly. and in any case, they have done nearly a hundred different solos over their career, there is NO REASON for them to have such a ridiculous amount of breakdowns. they rival memphis may fire in that regard, but MMF actually has great breakdowns. churko is a metal producer, NOT a hardcore producer, and they sound empty when you strip out the vocals.

sometimes they will overuse a chorus, and hit the pop music pitfalls of having a song that's over half chorus. I'm sure they did this so the label would be happy with singles because the music industry is a commercialized garbage fire and holding it against the artists would be so fucking stupid especially since tool (the best metal band in existence) fucking said it best, "all you know about me is what I sold you, I sold out long before you ever knew my name, I sold my soul to make a record, dipshit, then you bought one; I've got some advice for you little buddy, before you point your finger you should know that I'm the man and if I'm the man then he's he man and you're the man as well so you can take that fucking finger and shove it up your ass". translation; the fact that you know a band at all means that they sold out to even exist in the first place because that's what selling out is. so even this complaint I have that sometimes they have repeated chorus is more of a complaint about a music industry which dumbs things down to sell radioplay to the lowest common denominator, which EVERY SINGLE ARTIST IS GUILTY OF. so moving on.

sometimes they'll have songs which are fairly simple from a harmonic/mechanical standpoint. opening verse chorus verse chorus solo bridge chorus chorus ending. verse goes some mix of eighth and quarter notes and rests in 4:4, solo is just the vocal line of the chorus, bass and drums are nonexistent and only serve to be a melodic backbone, and the music only exists to serve the lyrics... oh wait I can make the exact same arguments about metallica, rage against the machine, pantera, disturbed, and a hundred other bands. those guys aren't hated as much as five finger. hmm. wonder why.

the lyrics are often angsty. namely that they deal with honor, government corruption, mental illness, we live in a society, religious corruption, abandonment issues, recovering from toxic relationships, hey wait a minute these are all just insanely common topics for metal songs!

they usually play in the same key- wait shit every band has a favored key.

they do a lot of covers- wait shit they have literally more ALBUMS than covers.

(yeah that's weird to me too, but they only did a new level by pantera, from out of nowhere by faith no more, bad company by bad company, mama said knock you out by LL cool J, house of the rising sun by the animals, gone away by offspring, and blue on black by kenny wayne shepard... that's 7. they have 8 albums now.)

so shut the fuck up forever about the cover songs. metallica and the deftones and a perfect circle all had fucking cover ALBUMS, van halen only has a career because of the kinks, and every single rock band in the world is just ripping off the beatles, pink floyd, black sabbath, the who, led zeppelin, and cream. pick a legitimate reason to hate on a band, hypocrite.

alright what else...

"they're gay"

I'm not gonna dignify that with a response.

"they suck"

so does your favorite band. boom roasted.

"they're bad at music"

I'd like to see you do better then.

"they sold out to the military"

no they support the veterans and the troops; they fucking hate the military if you pay any attention at all. they believe in the good parts of the military that the government pays half our taxes to make us believe. you're not better than anyone else just because you see through one specific piece of propaganda because odds are you're blinded by another dozen. they write songs about how war is hell and how when vets come home they should be treated better. and anyway when you're in the dog eat dog world of the music industry hey guess what you need a market to sell to or else it's back to baskin robbins. I don't blame them for one second. if I had the option of endorsing cops to pay my bills you bet your ass I'll fly a blue lives matter flag and sell my soul to make money, and then donate shit to the black lives matter movement. flying a flag is worthless if I can do actual good with the money that those dumbasses send in. and name better irony than fighting to abolish a group that pays me to do it go on I'll wait.

"you're just a fanboy"

a) it's fangirl but metal elitists don't give a shit about the LGBTQ and b) just because I like a band doesn't in any way diminish the validity of my statements and any bias I might have is easily countered by whatever bias you might have and c) they're not even my favorite band you idiot I just think there's way worse out there just like I think it's unfair to say nickelback is the worst band in existence when drunk mom rock like hinder buckcherry savingabel and kidrock exists, and limp bizkit is standing right there, and d) they're not even the worst groove metal band, just look at fucking lamb of god, and e) if I was a fangirl I wouldn't have pointed out the flaws you fucking brainless troglodyte, and f) even if they were my favorite band in the world it doesn't matter if you think they suck because music taste is subjective anyway you goddamn moron. those guys write their own music, play their own music, perform their own music, and they love their fanbase more than most other bands. andrew biersack and kellin quinn and pepper keenan and glenn danzig and liam gallagher and axl rose and van halen and ted nugent and kurt cobain HATE their fans, or at least are huge fucking assholes. but not five finger. jeremy played until he literally broke his back; he's as devoted as phil collins, and if he made like atreyu and sang while drumming he'd be singing from a wheelchair, or like dave grohl when he broke his leg right in the middle of a concert, went to the hospital and got set and put in a cast, THEN CAME RIGHT BACK TO THE FUCKING SHOW AND PLAYED GUITAR AND SANG IN A CAST AND WHEELCHAIR. oh but wait, people say phil collins and dave grohl suck too, and turn around and suck mustaine's dick even though he's the biggest asshole in thrash metal behind tom araya and drunk james hetfield. point being, just because x doesn't like y doesn't diminish z's opinion.

"the singer fucked his daughter lol lol his grandchild is his son too lol lol his daughter is his wife lol lol it's funny because rednecks and incest lol lol" he's from colorado not alabama you dumb motherfuckers, and all the lol incest in georgia jokes are rooted in good ol yankee classism. also the guitarist is hungarian so the american redneck jokes don't even fuckin work. shut the hell up, you have all of the intellectual capacity of a common bog leech.

you can dislike the band. you can say you don't like it. you can say that you'd rather listen to different music. that's fine! that's okay! listen to justin bieber if you like him, listen to taylor swift if you like her, listen to new kids on the block if you want! I don't care! but stop expressing your opinions that you stole from someone else as fact. all you're doing is meme bandwagoning so you can find a community because you don't have the social skills necessary to meet people through the things you love so instead you try to pull serotonin out of making other people feel as miserable as you do.

with that being said, fuck all of the annoying dudebro douchebags who listen to the band and show 5FDP next to the confederate flag, blue lives matter flag, don't tread on me flag, punisher skull, trump sticker, and the crossed assault rifles on the back of your truck. you're all shit for reasons other than your music taste.

Predator: Hunting Grounds - Video Game blog

No spoiler warning because... well... there’s nothing to spoil.

When Sony announced that we would be getting a Predator game, I was extremely excited. For those who don’t know, I’m a huge Predator fanboy. I love the movies, I grew up with the comics, I even liked that Alien Vs. Predator film from 2004 (AVPR and The Predator can go and fuck off though. What even was that shit?). Predator is just a great concept with loads of potential and it’s about time the big game hunter from outer space got the same love and attention as the Xenomorphs get. It’s tiring, you know? Watching all you Alien fans play the shit out of Alien: Isolation while I’m sat here going ‘Hey! Where’s my Predator game?’ So Predator: Hunting Grounds came as a fantastic surprise. And it was, at the time, announced as a Playstation exclusive, which was just even better as Sony have been knocking it out of the park recently with Horizon Zero Dawn, Spider-Man and the new God Of War.

Then things went silent on the whole Predator front until just over a month ago when the beta was released and people were largely disappointed by it due to numerous bugs and glitches and absurdly long wait times to get into matches. After that, the game was spat out onto Playstation Network with no buildup or fanfare whatsoever. I only knew it had come out because of a random YouTube video in my recommendations.

So I bought it and played it. What did I think? Honestly... it’s alright. It’s not terrible. I had fun with it, but it’s not exactly an amazing experience either. It’s just... okay.

Predator: Hunting Grounds is an asymmetrical multiplayer first person shooter developed by Illfonic Games, the guys behind that Friday The 13th game a few years back. Each match consists of five players. Four of them become members of a Fireteam called Voodoo (nice Predator 2 reference btw. Me like a lot) who have to complete a series of missions and evac successfully within fifteen minutes. The fifth player takes the role of the Predator, whose goal is to hunt down the Fireteam. The match ends when the Fireteam completes their objective and escapes via helicopter, the Predator kills them all, the Fireteam kills the Predator, or when the timer runs out. Simple.

The Fireteam plays like any other first person shooter pretty much. You pick a class, kill baddies, protect the flag, all that stuff. What makes the game more fun is the Predator. That’s by far I think the biggest compliment I can give to this game. It’s amazing how just changing one element can be enough to completely shake up a traditional formula. What starts out as a fairly mediocre play experience very quickly becomes unpredictable and genuinely terrifying when the Predator starts trying to hunt you. Normally your best bet is to stick together as a group because while the Predator is tough, it’s not indestructible and four squadmates can overpower it if they work together. However, in the heat of battle, it’s very easy to forget that and I’ve honestly lost count of the number times strategy went out the window as soon as the Predator showed up and we all just panicked and scattered.

When playing a match as the Fireteam, you have to choose whether to prioritise the mission objectives or take down the Predator. As I said, four players working together can overpower the Predator, but it’s easier said than done. The Predator is a bullet sponge, can move super fast and can leap really far. The point is you’re never safe, giving each match real tension. You can cover yourself in mud to hide yourself from the Predator’s heat vision, but it doesn’t work for long. A good Predator will always find you eventually and you end up becoming paranoid as a result, scanning the trees for flickers of light and reacting to every little noise. It’s genuinely unsettling.

Playing as the Predator however couldn’t be any different. The game here is played from a third person perspective and more emphasis is placed on speed and power. It’s like a cross between the Batman Arkham games and Assassin’s Creed. You’re swift and strong and you have access to all the Predator’s gadgets, including the cloaking device, the plasma caster and the net gun. You can even mimic the Fireteam’s voices, like in the movies, to trick them and lure them into a trap. The Predator is awesome to play as. You feel powerful playing as it, but remember you’re not unstoppable. You can’t charge in headfirst and hope for the best. You’ve got to be smart. Find ways of splitting the group up and pick them off one by one. Booby trap places where mission objectives will be. If you get wounded, you leave a trail of luminous green blood, which can lead the Fireteam right to you if you’re not careful. But if worst comes to the worst, you can activate your self destruct device in a last ditch effort to kill everyone.

The attention to detail is really cool with lots of Easter eggs and references to the movies. You unlock new weapons and skins by levelling up or by purchasing loot boxes using an in-game currency (don’t panic. There’s no microtransactions... yet). You can also customise your Fireteam and Predator characters, although your options are slightly limited. Also, one little nerdy criticism I have, you can play as a female Predator, but it’s the typical female body type you usually get in these games. You know, small waist, big boobs? Which sucks because a) Predators are reptiles, so them having breasts doesn’t make sense, and b) in the comics it’s established that female Predators are bigger, stronger and more aggressive than the males. So if anything, the male Predators should be the slim ones and the females should be the hulking bodybuilders. I mean I guess you can play as a female Berserker, but that’s not the point. I want to play as a muscular female alien monster goddammit, and Illfonic was too cowardly to commit. #FemPred #Womencanbeuglymotherfuckerstoo #Feminism

But in all seriousness, I think the customisation options best sum up the experience of playing Predator: Hunting Grounds. Cool, but limited. It’s fun playing as the Fireteam and the Predator, but after a while it does get really repetitive. While the Predator adds some much needed variety and unpredictability to the game, at the end of the day you are basically playing the exact same level over and over again. It also doesn’t help that the game only has three maps. Namely the jungle with temple ruins, the jungle with warehouses and the jungle with sewer pipes. Couldn’t they have expanded it to include other locations from the movies? How about Los Angeles from Predator 2 or Antarctica from AVP? I don’t know, just something other than a poxy jungle.

What’s worse is that the wait times between matches can be annoying. If you choose to play as Fireteam, the wait isn’t too bad. It’s usually between thirty seconds and two minutes. If you want to play as the Predator however, you have to wait between five and ten minutes to get into a match, if you’re lucky. The only way I got a chance to play as the Predator was in a private match. Maybe it would be better if the roles of players were randomly chosen rather than asking players what their preference is. Because obviously everyone wants to be the Predator, which means there’s going to be a long fucking queue. Or maybe they could expand the game so that you can have more than one Predator in a match. Maybe have a level where you have five Predators in an open world map competing to see who can get the most trophies before the time runs out. Maybe have that be an AVP event or something. There’s a lot of potential here, which is what makes it so frustrating. It’s not as if I hate the game or anything. It’s enjoyable to play. There just isn’t enough stuff to do.

Which brings me to my biggest complaint. The price. I paid £30 for this game. A game that consists of one level and three maps. For £40 you can buy the Deluxe Edition, which consists of one level, three maps and an exclusive Fireteam and Predator skin. I’m sorry but that’s just highway robbery. £40 for basically a beta game? What the actual fuck?!

Now apparently Illfonic’s last game, Friday The 13th, wasn’t very impressive at launch neither, but over time it was expanded with new content. Predator: Hunting Grounds looks like it’ll be going the same way. Illfonic have already announced a roadmap. This month we’ll be getting an Arnold Scharzenegger skin, which is nice and all... except it’s paid DLC. So I’ve already forked out £30 for not even a base game, it’s one level and three maps. And I’m now being expected to hand over more of my money in order to eventually get the complete game. Fuck off! This is basically EA’s Star Wars Battlefront reboot all over again.

Is Predator: Hunting Grounds a bad game? No. It’s a fun experience. If you’re a diehard Predator fan, you’re bound to get some enjoyment from this. However I cannot in good conscience recommend you pay full price for this game. There’s just not enough content to justify it at this time. My advice is wait until there’s a sale or when the game of the year edition comes out. For now, £30 for one level and three maps plus extra for DLC? No fucking way.

The worst of it

The only Latino in the new trilogy, whose parents have been confirmed as Rebellion pilots, having a background as a spice runner (essentially a drug trafficker)

Shoving in Keri Russell’s character, Zorri Bliss, as an old love interest (???) of Poe’s with weird innuendo and kissing comments just to build a nice little het-cetera

just so much to make gay man Oscar Isaac seem hetero

Poe taking a long moment to feel weird about having to hold Finn’s hand in a big team-bonding moment where everyone was holding hands

Also just making little moments to confirm that Finn is in love with Rey and then never resolving that, truly just to make the people who don’t believe in bisexuality say “well finnpoe could never have happened anyway”

Rey being a Palpatine??? The reveal itself even lacked so much weight lol it was laughably bad

Making character growth and world changes completely meaningless in episodes i - vi

also hmmm he’s gonna try to rip off rebels so bad but won’t even call it a holocron?? or just use malachor as the location??

R*ylo winning the ship war

JJ “I’m so glad we have Kelly” Abrams giving her 3 minutes (maybe) of screentime

screentime is so precious and Abrams did apparently not realize that? half the movie contributed nothing

the pacing and editing and script were so bad lol why was his team even there behind the scenes

Finn is not a character anymore! He just yells “Rey” a lot and argues with Poe!

The script was terrible imo some people made corny and cringe dialogue work but then they couldn’t even say some of it

They kept calling Rey “that girl” and “that scavenger” and really making particularly sexist remarks about her to downplay her power

They did Leia so dirty I don’t even want to talk about it

Burying the lightsabers? Disrespectful

Abrams somehow missed the entire point of the twin suns??? LOOKING TO THE FUTURE AND THE HORIZON YOU FOOL YOU’RE ENDING A TRILOGY AND SAGA.

Rey calling herself “Skywalker” felt like a R*ylo thing and not and actual agency thing and HELLO REY YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE A SKYWALKER TO BE WORTH SOMETHING

NO BACKGROUND NO CONNECTION TO THE OT OR PREQUELS ACTUALLY FUCKING MATTERS

Poe’s parents? Who cares about their sacrifice! Finn’s family?? Who’s Finn! Rey?? I literally cannot even tell you how much I hate what they did to her.

tl;dr this movie was made for TLJ fanboy haters and is upsetting me very deeply because I have never not loved Star Wars and I cannot love this movie.

B Dog’s Ranking of Star Wars Films

Some months ago Big A challenged me to list my order of Star Wars films, from worst to best. Having re-watched a number now in recent months I felt it time to get this down on paper. Admittedly I haven’t watched all of them, so this might need updating in the months to come.

Let me know your thoughts or add a similar blog!

11. The Last Jedi

It is something of a tribute to Disney that it took me some time to decide my least favourite Star Wars film. There were two obvious candidates but in the end I went with the Last Jedi. Admittedly, I feel that The Rise of Skywalker is a worse film, but I give the honour of the shittest Star Wars film to this steaming pile of crap because it set the precedent for what was to follow. The whole film is based around the idea of doing something different with the force and the Jedi, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it was done in such a bad way. I’ve recently re-watched it and it felt like 90% of the film is treading water whilst they develop the Reylo relationship. “What shall we do with the other characters?” I don’t know, stick them on a spaceship being chased by a Star Destroyer? “Fuck me, that’s brilliant.”  I recently read that Rhian Johnson’s biggest regret with this film was not being able to do his usual private showing to close friends before it came out due to security issues. I regret that too, cos they’d have told him what a big pile of crap it was.

10. The Rise of Skywalker

The true level of shittiness of this film has been discussed a lot; it was so bad that it even inspired a B Dog film rant blog. The first ever, if I am not mistaken? The fact that they have had to release information intermittently to explain the gaps in the story says it all really. A total turd. 

Don’t worry, my swearing will ease now along with my hatred.

9. Attack of the Clones

My ninth favourite (or perhaps more accurately, the third worst) Star Wars film introduces the prequels into the story with Attack of the Clones. I don’t hate this film like I do The Rise of Skywalker and The Last Jedi, so we start to move out of “hate” and more into “meh” with AotC. I don’t hate it, I don’t particularly like it. I nothing it (nod to #BigAsFilmReviews).

This film has a few things going for it, namely it features a young Hayden Christensen, who of course has a strong resemblance to a young B Dog, and it includes Anakin and Padme’s brilliantly written, acted and directed romance scenes. “You are in my very soul, tormenting me.” Beautiful. I jest of course, it was total cringe. But the issue that I have with this film is that it doesn’t feel like Star Wars. At least with The Phantom Menace there are elements that align with the prequels like the scenes of Tattoine. AotC just feels like a bit of a misfit. I wonder whether it was where George began to get a raging hard-on for green screen and prioritising wanky graphics above, you know, a decent storyline, and that impacts things? Or maybe he started flirting with the darkside long before this? But generally it is an entertaining enough film, just a bit shit.

8. The Phantom Menace

I struggled for a while with the order of Attack of the Clones and The Phantom Menace but in the end decided I preferred this one. But it’s a close one.

The issue that I have with this film – even above Jar Jar and the awful dialogue – is that I don’t get the target audience. There is loads of content for kids such as (the aforementioned) Jar Jar and the pod race, yet it is effectively a film about politics and features things like trade blockades. I mean, the opening crawl features gems such as “The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute... While the Congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events.” 

I watched it with Sebastian and he didn’t have a clue what was going on, but he sat there patiently waiting for the arrival of arguably my favourite Star Wars character in Darth Maul. But as I mentioned above, TPM still feels like Star Wars and the lightsabre fight sequence at the end is enough to get it into 8th place. But we are still very much in “meh”.

7. Solo

But not for long as we start moving into “like” territory. I like this film. But the issue that I have is that it’s not really Star Wars. It’s a decent sci-fi film but I can’t associate Alden Whatshisface’s portrayal of Han to the original. It is largely forgettable mind; I have watched Solo once and couldn’t really tell you what it was about. Something to do with Solo and Chewie and Lando, and they went through an asteroid field, and Emilia Clarke got sold or became a slave, and the Falcon got wrecked. That’s all I remember. But I do remember feeling like the whole “Kessel Run” idea was totally different to what I had in my mind – I figured it was a famous smuggling run - and if they really had to do a backstory on Han then they could have come up with something better.

6. Revenge of the Sith

Probably the only prequel that I will stand behind. It is flawed, largely because of the overuse of green screen which can’t be easy for actors/actresses (exhibit A: Natalie Portman who is pretty wooden yet claimed an Oscar a few years later in Black Swan), but I feel like RotS is actually a fairly decent addition to the Star Wars portfolio with the actors starting to get used to the methods of Lucas or perhaps even pushing back a bit helping the script flow better. Hayden Christensen seemed a bit more comfortable playing a more complex and evil character than a loved up teenager, for example. However, there is still a large amount of Lucas “style over substance” going on still and the Darth Vadar “Noooooo” bit at the end is like something from an 80’s Arnie film. “I’ll be back, Kenobi.”

5. Rogue 1

I really enjoyed this film right up until the last few minutes when the arrival of Leia almost ruined it. I don’t quite know why, I think it just felt shoe-horned and unnecessary. There are other flaws that don’t align with the start of A New Hope and the characters lack any real depth, but overall I’ll let all this slide as it was a pretty exciting and well-made film. With Rogue 1 I am sensing stronger feelings… there is good in these films. I can sense it.

4. The Force Awakens

The first time I watched this film I didn’t like it. I think because I just expected too much – or something different - and I didn’t particularly like the way they killed off Han without the film or trilogy really getting going. What was the point? I thought Rey was totally wooden too. But I’ve watched it three times now and the last time – just before TRoS came out – I actually really enjoyed it, bordering on feeling that it was brilliant. I admit it is a fanboy tribute, but… if the cap or evil sith mask fits and all that.

3. A New Hope

It will come as no surprise that the podium spots are reserved for the original trilogy, and we move into love – of course - with A New Hope. It is slightly controversial to have this one in third place as I know a lot of people see ANH as the best of the lot, but I just prefer the other originals being honest. Whilst it is undoubtedly a great film, I find it more of a setting the scene kind of film: it’s a bit slow going in places and even as a kid I don’t feel it had the same levels of excitement as the other two. The toys that I played with weren’t the X-Wing and Tie Fighter from the Death Star scene, it was the AT-AT (I had two) and snow speeders from Hoth, for example. And re-watching them recently with Sebastian it has been the one that I struggled to sit through the most. I guess ultimately it is laying the foundations for the whole Luke vs. Vadar/good vs. evil element, which is what drew me into Star Wars as a kid.

2. Return of the Jedi

I know this film has flaws, but I love it. Well, the old version before Ol’ George started adding shit like the band in Jabba’s palace and another Vadar “Nooooooo”. But the whole film is great: the sequence at the start concluding with the fight over the pit of sarlaac through to the three phased fight sequence at the end. As I have said to you both, I have recently watched the original trilogy with Sebastian and he told me that he was exhausted at the end of the film, and I guess it’s that sort of excitement that I still associate with RotJ. One interesting thing is that watching the recently has opened my eyes to how hot Carrie Fisher was back then. I never really got it. No wonder my dad used to pop in for the Jabba’s Palace bit.

1. The Empire Strikes Back

And therefore the winner goes to the masterpiece that is The Empire Strikes Back. I don’t have anything negative to say about this film, and for me is in a league of its own compared to the other ten films, and up there with one of my favourite films ever. The Hoth fight scene, Yoda training Luke and the cave scene, Cloud City and then Vadar and Luke crossing swords for the first time. From start to finish it is exciting and so well made. But it’s also interesting to have a good vs. evil film finish on such a dark note, with the good guys going off to lick their wounds. In a lot of ways that is also what appeals about this film; it’s not just a straight up good guys win type of scenario.

If MCR Songs Were People

This probably already exists but I spent two hours doing this instead of sleeping. Tell me which song you’re most like.

Welcome to the Black Parade: has a flair for the dramatic, doesn't know how to do a smoky eye, was in the marching band in high school, daddy issues. Sleep: has insomnia, PTSD, nightmares, is self deprecating, just wants to go the fuck to sleep Destroya: probably gay, moans like a bitch during sex, pretty fucking hardcore, shit immune system though, lives for anarchy House of Wolves: will burn in hell (or believes they will), is a bad mother fucker, has a sister who should be scared, pyromaniac, "Catholic" Vampire Money: all over the place, drinks a lot but parties like a beast, has a Bowie obsession, likes driving fast and loud music Na Na Na: really artistic, pansexual, likes to scream lyrics, rebel at heart, probably still wears bandanas, sunglasses and boots all day every  day, fuck the government Cancer: is dying, will die, all of your friends will die, actually doesn't have any friends, really depressed, in pain, martyr S.I.N.G: activist, owns jeggins, would join an underground gang if they had the balls, likes neon things for some unknown reason Early Sunsets Over Monroeville: loves zombies, probably owns a Hawaiian   shirt, really quiet and doesn't talk much, hangs out in shopping centres/malls but never buys anything Demolition Lovers: is probably part of an underground gang, has to go away for "work" a lot, has a shotgun in the trunk of their car, teal,  unrequited love Helena: recent death in the family, super fucking dramatic, lots of makeup, always wears black (maybe some red), nail polish is always chipped, imagines/fantasises things that will never happen all the time Teenagers: super punk, goes to concerts all the time, will break shit just for fun, has authority issues, probably friends with a lot of delinquents, is a delinquent, doesn't read books, drinks a lot Famous Last Words: is constantly having an existential crisis, really   committed when it comes to relationships, cowboy boots, goes outside at midnight for no reason I Don't Love You: always heartbroken, never cuts hair, plays guitar,  goes on road trips when things get difficult, super emotional, cries a lot I'm Not Okay: is still in high school, I don't care if they're 39  they're still in high school, hates high school, does stupid shit all  the time because fuck it, high school, is not okay, is friends with  weird people, high school Mama: PTSD, self deprecating, mama's boy/girl/person, has a sick sense of humour, laughs manically for no reason, cutthroat You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison: probably gay, went to prison, had a fuck tonne of bitches (I'm kidding, they were actually the  bitch to a fuck tonne of other people), can't adjust, has issues with  family Headfirst for Halos: epic, is not okay, always trying to think  positively but is screaming inside, thinks about doing stupid shit all  the time (i.e. Putting a gun to their head) Vampires Will Never Hurt You: screams a lot, has a vampire fettish, hates Twilight with a passion, has never gone outside, wouldn't mind dying if I was a wooden stake to the heart, sucks dick The Ghost of You: fought in WWII, had a pretty girlfriend, wears round glasses with gold rims, is tall and lanky, has a brother, gets shot in  the chest, screams, dies The Light Behind Your Eyes: is finding ways to deal with severe depression, cries a bit but quietly, reads a lot of books, all their friends are dead, trying to stay strong despite the fact they're dying inside, sings like an angel Give 'em Hell Kid: lives life fast, probably has killed someone, wears red and like khaki green, shouts a lot, belongs in a 2005 MTV short, lives life on the edge, fatalistic To The End: has read Dante's Inferno, is a mafioso, fatalistic, has  probably organised the death of many people, likes to drink cyanide, sleeps a lot, owns diamond jewellery, likes cake The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You: has no faith in life, likes western movies, will yell at you, has  applied for a license to kill, likes to sleep with people (like nap I  mean) Thank You For The Venom: likes snakes, has probably almost OD'd, hates  the doctors, is stubborn, death obsessed, has probably stabbed someone, wears striped long sleeve t-shirts, hates running, hopes to be shot one day Hang 'Em High: is death obsessed, clinically insane, screams a lot,  always makes a lot of aesthetic statements about things with black and  white connotations, Catholic, fuck off It's Not a Fashion Statement It's a Fucking Death Wish: swears in front  of their parents, wears their mum's clothes, is obsessed with killing  enemies, is always predicting their death to be soon. Cemetery Drive: all too real, has a girlfriend, likes to hang out in  cemeteries, girlfriend has issues and ended her life, now has issues  because of it, drinks a lot, really fucking depressed I Never Told You What I Do For A Living: is 100% a serial killer, sociopath, also has OCD, scary as shit The End: is dying, but isn't too sad, wishes to attend their own funeral  as a ghost, has no self confidence, can't be fucking bothered growing  up, doesn't give a shit, is very chill, wears yellow accessories Dead!: Is dead, is having a party about being dead, wondering if all the  assholes in their life are in hell, no one actually likes them, laughs  at inappropriate moments, is a great dancer This Is How I Disappear: really fucking dramatic, will be upset and   disappear if you break up with them, dramatic, is a part time satanist, will make a voodoo doll of you if you fuck with them, candles The Sharpest Lives: goes out late at night, never showers, drinks   heavily, would probably go cannibal if it was legal, always in pain,   lives life on the fucking edge, will burn large objects, has sinus   issues Disenchanted: is constantly torn, never actually cries, writes books,  likes to take chances, likes birds, got in trouble with the police for  some stupid but really fun shit, friends need to get their shit together  and learn a lesson Bulletproof Heart: Gravity doesn't mean to much to them, has self  confidence but not enough to stop running away, runs away a lot, wears  really funky colourful clothing, is very kind but misunderstood Planetary GO!: goes to a lot of cool night clubs, knows how to fucking  party, is still very punk on the inside, sweats a lot (bc they dance a  lot), jumps up and down for no fucking reason The Only Hope For Me Is You: is obsessed with being remembered, only has  one friend, is kinda depressed and really needs someone to hold onto,  but is also really questioning life and society, wants to run away to a  more aesthetic place Party Poison: speaks fluent Japanese (cough I mean Weeaboo), watches a  lot of anime, loves Kpop and Jpop fashion, will party but goes to the  weirdest parties, dyes their hair, fuck the bullshit meaning of life  they do what they want Save Yourself I'll Hold Them Back: is a badass, known for being a  badass, stole your mum's car and took you on the best date ever, wears a  lot of leather, ready for a fight, probably gets into a lot of fights  anyway, probably once looked like Danny from Greece SCARECROW: is probably on LSD, smokes a lot of weed, is really chill,  too fucking chill, wears psychedelic t-shirts, is actually a  philosophical genius, reads a lot of poetry Summertime: they might go outside if it's summer, listens to music with  headphones on full blast, goes on the train a lot, likes to walk around  listening to music and pretends they're making the aesthetic parts of  the music video they're listening to, soft kitty The Kids From Yesterday: is constantly nostalgic, loves Star Wars and  Queen, always having flashbacks, wears yellow and read things, feels  misunderstood, trying to figure out the meaning of life Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two Of Us: likes Fall Out  Boy when they had long song titles, has issues, a lot of issues, ugly  screams a lot, doesn't care, wears dark denim jackets, hates this girl  who fucked their brother Drowning Lessons: has a lot of anxiety, constantly worried, always  running away from problems and situations, can't swim, always has  regrets, has pink things Our Lady Of Sorrows: was in a gang once, loves to get into switchblade fights, is really scary and bloodthirsty, believes in pagan gods, but   will protect you, blood blood blood. Skylines and Turnstiles: saw 9/11 happen, life was changed because of  it, decided that they wanted to be in a band, made a band with brother  and his fren, got some dreadlocked weed smoking fanboy to join, the  drummer is an asshole x3, breaks up after 12 years, deems it to be a  good idea, scared of butane This Is The Best Day Ever: this is the worst day ever, has no rhythm, is  really confused with what is going in, went to hospital a lot and hated  it, screams a bit, is a bit scared of needles, studded belts, suck dick Cubicles: will die alone (or at least they think), hates their job, the  only thing that entertains them at work is people gossiping at the water  cooler, is actually having a severe existential crisis Boy Division: is friends with people who would have a fucking rocking  funeral, stalks school girls, looks dead but only dresses that way,  likes to sing about California, paranoid all the time Tomorrow's Money: fell in love with a vampire, slightly aggressive, can  surf, stopped screaming three years ago, wants to be a doctor, hates   people who are thought of as heroes, ruined converses AMBULANCE: screams in an aesthetically pleasing way, thinks you know  nothing, super weird, goes out after dark, likes to drive big cars,  wouldn't mind driving, is super reliable even when they let you down Gun.: was probably conscripted into the military, actually hates   violence and guns, wants to stay at home all the time, likes to call the  shots, owns an old uniform that they'll never throw out The World Is Ugly: likes Blade Runner and fairy lights, thinks weird  people are very beautiful, insanely observant of other people's  behaviours, wears knee high socks and converses, hates the world because  it's terrible Kiss The Ring: belongs in an alternate universe where it's still the  medieval time but rock bands exist, is probably a contract killer, likes  to overthrow the king every five years, has really fucked up logic  about why it's okay to kill a lot of people, cutthroat Make Rooom!!!!: probably goes to discos, does not panic at them,  actually has some self confidence but always gets into stupid situations  and flails, wears the tightest pants in the world, wears earrings with  crosses on them Surrender the Night: constantly lonely, likes to drive long distances to  think, lost a loved one, has cool patches on their jacket, has been to  hospital twice, likes to listen to you, always keeps secrets unless you  fuck with them Burn Bright: likes going to the city just to look at all the lights,   walks around and thinks that certain things would look nice on Tumblr,   unstable, can be aggressive, very in tune with their surroundings, kind of a Buddhist Common People: your average person, always struggling financially, wears  a lot of blue, always falls in love with shallow rich girls for no  reason, really just wants to live however the fuck they want Every Snowflake Is Different: loves children's TV shows, goes to the  snow every year, loves winter and hot chocolate, will cry if you take  their toys away, will be a good parent, too busy having fun to give a  fuck Desolation Row: got beat up at school, is now in a cutthroat gang, spits  a lot, wears a lot of eyeliner, likes Grease but is also super punk  rock, hates wearing underwear, likes to break shit all the time Desert Song: is recovering from a drug addiction, is still in a really  dark place, trying to stay strong, is questioning the meaning of life,  probably had teal roots at some stage Black Dragon Fighting Society: drinks juice when they're killing because  it's fucking delicious, really likes dragons, reads too much, hates  society, would run away but that would mean no books and no juice so no  fucking way, likes hot pink and black Zero Percent: hates everyone, would kill everyone, really hates people,  does whatever the fuck they want, will kill everybody, will put zero   effort into school or work, does their own thing. Mastas of Ravenkroft: worried about growing old, has no self confidence,  will only have sex if the lights are turned off, feels very old at a  very young age because of shitty bones, also has no fucking chill F.T.W.W.W.: fuck society, is super digital, but also really retro,   always tells people to kiss their ass, lives in a futuristic society,   likes robots, has a licking fettish, likes to destroy shit, will   probably spit randomly We Don't Need Another Song About California: Summertime's long lost  twin, really doesn't give a shit about California, but likes the sun,  probably lives in Florida, hates magazines, probably has a fake name,  thinks that nothing matters All The Angels: is dying, has minutes left, girlfriend has issues   because she's a little risky, everything has gone wrong, everyone is   upset, probably died three years ago, never went to heaven, likes pretty  flowers and dead things Romance: a complete and utter 1800s Romantic, has probably ready  Frankenstein, wants to go on epic journeys, never showers, likes spices,  old fashioned, would probably get into the steampunk fashion thing Blood: is forever in the 1920s, was a war hero but hates themself,  laughs manically sometimes, has a thing for blood but hates vampires,  90% human wreckage, 23% awful fuck, 8% bad at math, 14% clueless

Star Wars Misfit

I find it very hard to be a SW fan. I never did the full SW fandom thing when I was a kid and all we had was the OT and a bunch of books.  Part of that was that the fandom seemed to revolve around stuff you had to buy - toys, games, aforementioned books.  The library didn’t carry all the books.  My parents were not going to shell out $$$ for lego sets and action figures.  And I have never played video games. I basically sat in my corner, loved the movies, and wrote out some essays on my thoughts about the SW Universe.  I wish I had kept some of them.

Then, there was the PT and the internet and I got into fanworks.  And that was great.  I wasn’t a huge fan of the PT, but the world-building, and resultant fanfic, was superb. I wore a Jedi padawan braid for at least half of high school.  But the fandom at large still seemed to revolve around buying things and knowing bits of information and arcs from a series of books that I frankly didn’t care very much for.  Some of the books were great, but a lot of them . . . were not very good at all.  I am not judging people who like them.  Fuck, I read absolutely anything that has Tolkien on it.  I’m in no position to judge anybody.  I still don’t play video games.  I have 2 Funko Pops.  At first, the internet based fanworks were more my jam.  Fanfiction, videos, hilarious comics (he killed the yuenglings!).  But no matter how I tried to be happy in SW fannish spaces, it all came back to arguing about trivia and people being 100% possessive of the source text and gatekeeping like a mother fucker.  Any appreciation for the PT made you NOT a ‘real’ SW fan.  And let’s not get into the sexism. Part of my dislike of the Slave!Leia outfit stems from the fact that most of the straight male SW fans I knew made that their primary appreciation of my favorite character.  I know it’s more complex than that, but when a 14 year old girl is told and shown over and over that Leia’s legacy is being a sex symbol, it fucking hurts. (Long live the Huttslayer).

Clone Wars began to get me back into SW fandom at large.  CW was great.  It was fun and sad and mythic and silly.  It was romantic and touching, it gave us great world building, awesome action sequences, great new characters, fleshed out old characters, and made me rethink me dislike for some of the PT.  And the fandom was lovely!  So many smart people writing snark and slash and het and comedy and making drawing great fanart and comics and it felt so right.  Rebels followed in that vein.

The came the ST.  TFA kicked my latent SW obsession into high gear.  I loved the new characters, especially Rey, and Finn, and Poe, and Kylo Ren.  The world got bigger.  New books started to be published, from authors I actually enjoyed reading.  (Shoutout to Claudia Grey and Christie Golden and E.K. Johnston and Jason Fry and everyone in the FACPOV collections).  I still wasn’t ready to get big into the fan-spaces, but I did start reading some fanworks, mostly StormPilot.  And also, Reylo.  As my journey in SW grew, I found myself drawn more and more to Reylo.  It was hilarious.  I’d never had a het!ship before.  And the Reylos I knew were talented, and smart, and lovely, and never made me feel bad for not knowing something or having a weird idea.

But people HATED Reylos.  I genuinely don’t know why.  And don’t give me that ‘the pairing is problematic’ bullshit.  That ship is fucking tame.  I’ve obsessively shipped way worse pairings.  It’s fanfiction - not reality. The pairing is rich and meaningful, it has deep parallels in folktales and myth, it encapsulates many of the themes of SW.  Oh yeah, and I happen to find it fucking hot.

People also hate the ST.  I agree, it has its problems (the biggest of which is TROS). But the PT is no gem of filmaking. TPM breaks in the middle for a fucking video game ad that sucks all the air out of the room.  AOTC is tragically paced.  And ROTS (far and away the best) feels like the culmination of a very different trilogy.  Even the OT has flaws.  There is nothing wrong being critical of something.  But some people can’t see a picture of Kelly Marie Tran without launching into a tirade about how much they hate Rose.  Rey, Finn, and Poe are there for representation, and Kylo Ren is the worst villain ever.  I have very little time for people who feel that Luke’s journey in TLJ is some sort of slap in the face of the character (Luke faces his guilt and regret and ends up saving the day just like Obi Wan Kenobi and Kanan Jarrus and all the other Jedi who have chosen defense over aggression and laid down their lives for others.) The vitriol astounds me. 

Once again, I was a SW misfit. The people that I loved in the CW world ragged on the people I loved in the Reylo world.  The rabid OT fanboys can’t see a picture of Rey without yelling Mary Sue. People keep chanting about wiping out the ST, as if there aren’t people who fucking love it and it’s got CARRIE FUCKING FISHER’S LAST PERFORMANCE AS LEIA ORGANA. PT fans who loved Anakin and Padme turn around and abuse ST fans who love Reylo.  Mandalorian fans have started to try and out-Easter Egg each other, and dump on people who are watching for story.  We’re back to gatekeeping and people lunging at each other’s throats about little bits of information and trivia. 

So, why did I write all of this?  I just needed to get it off my chest.  I like being in SW fan spaces, especially Reylo and CW and Rebels spaces.  I love the novels.  I love the music.  I love the concept art and the fan art and the fan fiction and the comics (well, some of them) and people making reaction videos to the Mandalorian.  But, once again, I’m sitting in a corner, afraid to speak up.  

I guess I’m not a real fan.

I was taking today about how lucky we are that the SW cast is amazing af. Carrie Fisher was a badass who made everyone laugh and was so completely honest and open and inspiring, loved her mom and her daughter and her dog, and is our hero forever. Mark Hamill is too precious for this cruel world, makes fun of Trump in the best ways, loves interacting with fans, Harrison Ford gives no fucks, has brushes with death on a regular basis, married Ally McBeal, and despite being Grumpy McGrumps, is actually so kind. James Earl Jones is Darth Vader, but also Mufasa in The Lion King, has Broadway and film credits, was in The Sandlot, openly told people he thought Vader was lying about being Luke's father and thinks it's so cool that he was wrong, and is too cool for everyone. Ewan McGregor is precious and and tries very hard to pretend that he isn't a total Star Wars fanboy, but is totally a Star Wars fanboy, has a beautiful singing voice, mostly tweets about charity, wants an Obi-wan movie as much as we do, and is a wonderful human. Hayden Christensen was sometimes given the worst dialogue but never complained or shit talked George Lucas after the fact, has a smile that is worth my whole heart, made lightsaber noises while filming the duels, and is super polite. Natalie Portman was just a teenager when she was cast and was such a good student that she missed promotional events to study for exams, went to Harvard, started a cruelty free shoe brand, and has an Oscar. Daisy Ridley is so talented that her screen tests for Rey will make you cry, is full of energy, loves Rey as much as we do, compliments random fans on their fan art, and has handled the weird/crazy amount of attention and fame she has now with so much grace. John Boyega is from London, but is the son of Nigerian immigrants and is always so proud of his heritage, loves Finn, was invited to be an Academy voter (aka one of the people who gets to vote for the Oscars), started his own production company, and has a smile that will make you smile. Adam Driver was in the military, went to Juilliard, is insanely talented but isn't the least bit arrogant about it, has hair that should be ensured for $10,000, is really shy, and is genuinely precious. I could go on with all of the amazing cast members with smaller roles - Billy Dee Williams, Alec Guinness, Liam Neeson, Christopher Lee, Oscar Isaac, Lupita Nyong'o, Domnhall Gleeson, etc. but then we'd be here all night. BUT GUYS, STAR WARS IS BLESSED WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL LIST OF ACTORS. FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THE LIST. ADD THE OTHER AMAZING ACTORS, OR ADD OTHER AMAZING FACTS ABOUT THE ONES I LISTED.

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK2g9ll9Oq8)

    I took a moment to watch ABC’s new Inhumans series last Friday. And it’s just as bad as everyone says it is. I thought Marvel studios was in trouble after seeing the dreadful back six of Luke Cage, Netflix’s horrible Iron Fist, the wretched Spider-Man: Homeciming and Netflix’s awful Defenders series.  However, Inhumans shows me how much worse things are getting at Marvel Studios. If they keep putting out crap like this, the nails are going to be put in the Marvel Studios coffin sooner rather than later.

  Just like Spider-Man: Homecoming Marvel’s Inhumans decides to make compromises and take liberties with the source material. And those liberties they take with the Royal Family of Attilan make for an absolutely unwatchable show.  

  Marvel executives mistakenly believed that the Inhumans would be the next X-men, unfortunately this show has NONE of the elements that made the X-men relatable to readers for generations. The X-men were regular joes like you and me. They’re on the ground. They go to school like any other kid. They’re different. Just like the outsider kids who sit in the back of the cafeteria like the punks and the Goths, and the other people the world calls freaks. They want everyone to know they’re people and they just want to be left alone to be themselves do their own thing.

  The Inhumans on the other hand are like geeks. And they exhibit the worst traits of Geeks and geek culture. They think they’re smarter than everyone else. They think they’re better than everyone else. They’re a bunch of elitists who walked away from humanity to form their own little perfect society on the moon. It’s hard for a Joe average viewer like myself to relate to a group of people who act like a bunch of assholes from minute one. I almost rooted for Maximus until he started Simpin on Medusa during his coup. That showed me that there wasn’t one redeemable person on this show.

  What adds insult to injury is the fact that no one on this show looks like the Inhumans in the comics. No one acts like the Inhumans in the comics. And there isn’t a single soul on this show you can relate to or identify with. Instead of us getting an action packed show that’s as entertaining as the recently cancelled Agent Carter, Inhumans is a by the numbers formula show with flat characters and no plot.

  Black Bolt has been named King of the Inhumans and Maximus has led a coup to overthrow him. And over the course of two hours he overthrows the Royal family who are teleported to safety by Lockjaw on Hawaii’ s islands. Only he teleports them to different places. So everyone is Lost and trying to find each other.

  SERIOUSLY, YOU CANCELLED AGENT CARTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT?

  Seriously, Kevin Fiege needs to fire the head writer of this show. He FUBAR’D Iron Fist and now he’s fist fucked the Inhumans in the ass.  his guy has dropped the quality bar at Marvel studios in the shitter and his career in making superhero shows needs to be OVER ASAP.

  Unlike previous Marvel Studios projects, Inhumans doesn’t doesn’t feel like a comic book come to life. It doesn’t even feel like a prime-time TV show like CW’s Arrow or Supergirl. If anythin it feels like a shitty syndicated 1990’s superhero show like Night Man, Sheena, or Adventures of Sinbad.

  Man, the bar for Marvel Studios has fallen so low to the ground it’s getting ready to touch DC’s bar for cinematic quality.

  Damn. Just Damn.

  What really makes me sad about Marvel’s Inhumans is the confirmation that the SJW poison that has infected Marvel’s publishing division has now corrupted Marvel Studios. First Spider-Man: Homecoming was filled with shoehorned diversity that disrupted its flow, and now Marvel’s Inhumans has been corrupted by that same SJW plague. Black Bolt and Medusa and her sister Crystal are White, But we get an Asian Karnak and a Black Gorgon because…Diversity.

  I love how all the lead characters are white, but the characters under them are minorities. In their passive-aggressive attempts at diversity these SJWs just shows me White Supremacist they truly are. 

  Shit.

  What really pisses me off is that in this SJW attempt at diversity is the racism we clearly see in the stereotypes presented on the so-called “Diversity” characters. Karnak is Asian because Asians are supposed to be smart. And Gorgon is Black because Black guys are supposed to be strong and angry. And since Negroes are savages they can have hooves like Gorgon does.

  FUCK YOU Marvel Studios. FUCK YOU.

  Y’know what’s sad? On Agent Carter Season 2 we had Howard Stark, and Peggy Carter working with a Black scientist in Season 2. And that Black guy was presented on the same level as Howard Stark and as a love interest for Peggy. An actual picture of diversity in The Golden Age of Comics, one of the most racist periods in comic book history.

  But thanks to racist fanboys, and racist Disney, ABC wouldn’t show a Negro swirlin’ it up with Steve Rogers’ sexual fantasy before he could wake up out of the ice and get him a taste of the atomic waste in them Peggy’s golden age granny panties. So he got emasculated in the same way James Olsen and Finn were on Supergirl and Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

  And to add insult to injury, Agent Carter, one of the BEST ABC superhero shows was cancelled at the end of last season. And instead of a fun look at Marvel’s Golden Age, we get this shit show calling itself Inhumans as a consolation prize.

  Again, FUCK YOU Marvel Studios. FUCK YOU.

  Marvel’s Inhumans is nowhere near the level of Agent Carter in terms of writing, characterizations, costumes, or set design. It’s a sloppy forced together show that makes many of Greg Berlanti’s shows look like Marvel Studios movies. It’s one of the worst things to ever come out of Marvel Studios.

  I said in numerous blogs and videos that Marvel Studios was in trouble. And clearly the brand is in decline based on what I’ve been seeing coming down the pipe since Diamondback shot Luke Cage with a Judas bullet. Since then we’ve gotten films and TV shows that are a complete betrayal of what Marvel Studios used to stand for, adaptations that made every effort to stay true to the source material and capture the spirit of what a Marvel Comic was onscreen. If things get any worse for Marvel Studios, we may need to call an undertaker for the Superhero movie and TV genre sooner rather than later.  

 If you want to see the REAL Inhumans, pick up 1994 Fantastic Four cartoon on DVD and wach the 2-part episode that features them in Season 2. Those 2 episodes blow the doors off this dreadful TV series adaptation.

My TLJ Spoiler Review!

First, you should know that I’m an Oscar Isaac fan, that I ship literally everybody in the Resistance (fuck the dark side), and that overall, I absolutely loved it. Can’t wait to see it again next week! !!!!SPOILERS!!!!

Let’s start with the negative points; here are my issues with it: - The editing in the first quarter of the film, especially at the beginning of Rey’s time on the island. It felt rushed, with bad transitions. The music didn’t work at times either, something was off. - The transition between the shot of Luke and Rey in TFA and the one in TLJ was so, so bad. I mean, how hard would it have been to recreate the same weather in post, and have Rey advance toward Luke (because in TFA, she was not that close to him)... And they didn’t have the same emotions either... It made me cringe... - Leia saving her own life... I love the idea, but the execution, ouch... And I get this is not sci-fi but there are limits, damn! OK, I can’t think of any other real issues I have with this movie. Here are the things I LOVED: - That fucking shot of Holdo’s ship colliding with the Supremacy. HOLY SHIT. With that sudden silence, JAW-DROPPING. - Luke’s death was also beautifully shot. Great cinematography Mr. Johnson! - The comedy! I read reviews complaining about it, saying it didn’t feel like SW. Have we seen the same movies? Humor in the original trilogy was 80% silly! It meant the movies didn’t take themselves seriously, THAT feels like Star Wars and it’s EXACTLY what they did in TLJ. I loved all the jokes! - Yoda’s scene. It was just perfect. Funny, wise, touching, perfectly original Yoda, not the mess Yoda was in the prequels. - Luke. Everything about Luke. The Yoda scene made me realize something about Luke’s entire arc: he never became ‘perfect’ like fanboys wanted him to, after RotJ. Maybe he never was actually fully trained in the end. In that scene when Yoda knocked him a little bit on the head, as if he were still the young Luke (he calls him that too if I remember correctly!), I understood his arc perfectly. He never had enough guidance himself, so he could never truly teach like Yoda could in the past. Maybe that’s why he was lost when his own nephew turned. In isolation, the books were like a rock he could cling to, but it was all meaningless, false guidance. He was alone. “The last of the jedi will you be”... How could he have succeeded? Sad, sad life, wow... But then, Rey came, and he had the chance to save the galaxy again, and his line to Kylo before the big reveal was great. I will NOT be the last jedi! But what kind of jedi will Rey be now?... - Kylo Ren and Rey. Man, I was expecting the worst, but it was perfect. He is so immature, impulsive, seemingly redeemable, but there’s actually too much hate in there. Rey understood that in the end. She left him for good, and I think she pities him when she closes that door. I actually see the entire movie as a temptation for Rey to turn to the dark side AND as a Reylo temptation, that is ultimately thwarted forever. Bye Reylo! See you in hell! - Finn and Rose. Why the fuck are so many people saying Finn’s part was reduced in TLJ? Have we seen the same movie? He’s in it as much as Kylo Ren, easily! And he’s as strong and determined and naive and beautiful and fierce and fucking brave as ever. WTF is wrong with you people. Oh, yeah, you haven’t watched the movie. I loved his love for Rey, his chemistry with Rose, the comedy, and his suicidal move, and his hug with Rey at the end, and his beautiful eyes, and... Rose was great too, and I thought she was gonna die, but she’s just wounded! No? At the end, she’s on the Falcon with what’s left of the Resistance. Her kiss was so cute (although a woman in my theater cackled...) because Finn, naive, beautiful Finn didn’t know WTF she was doing, and it kinda confirms virgin Finn for me and *swoon*. - I loved Rose’s sister at the beginning. Her scene, the entire scene was perfect. Beautiful. - And last but not least: Poe. POE. I also read that his part was small, and there were no reaction about him when the first tweets came out and I was WORRIED, but oh my lord was it perfect. Also, who the fuck made up that shit about Leia and Holdo objectify him? Were you high when you watched it? That’s it for now. I’ll post more details later. j

tagged by @missmellifluous​ !! procrastinating getting ready for the day zzz

1. Coke or Pepsi: I hate both and if i really had to have a soda i’d prefer sprite or root beer....coke and pepsi taste the same to me

2. Disney or Dreamworks: i guess dreamworks since i just realized i only like about 3 disney movies??

3. Coffee or Tea: Tea is amazing and the best, I’ve loved every tea I’ve tried but im partial to sweet tea in a mason jar

4. Books or Movies: movies are hard for me to pay attention to lol so books

5. Windows or Mac: windows

6. DC or Marvel: i...dont know the difference

7. X-box or Playstation: ive been a sony fanboy forever, i own an xbox but i hate those gd controllers so much

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: i like both a lot but i like the characters in the dragon age games more, also im more into fantasy than sci-fi

9. Night Owl or Early Riser: my sleep schedule has gone to shit but i generally like staying up until 4am then sleeping until the afternoon

10. Cards or Chess: i have no idea how to play chess but i can play blackjack, so.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: i wanna say chocolate but im very picky about it because the wrong kind dries my mouth out, so i usually stick to vanilla

12. Vans or Converse: i have both!! but i have more pairs of chucks so lets go with that one

13. Lavallan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar:

lavellan im always a slut for elves

14. Fluff or Angst: fluff pls

15. Beach or Forest: if were talking about actually enjoying being there, then beach, but i like forests like...aesthetically more

16. Dogs or Cats: i generally like cats more but every animal is good

17. Clear Skies or Rain: rain unless its raining here because rain in vegas smells like wet dog and its the worst

18. Cooking or Eating Out: i like cooking and hate spending money

19. Spicy Food or Mild: im drinking a glass of tabasco as im typing this

20. Halloween/Samhin or Solistice/Yule/Christmas: halloween is the only holiday i celebrate/care about lol

21. Little too cold or little too hot: i would rather be cold cuz i feel like its easier to heat up than cool down

22. Superpower: u know i havent thought about this much but i guess flying would be neat

23. Animation or Live Action: animation generally

24. Paragon or Renegade: paragon i cant be mean

25. Bath or Showers: showers unless its really hot or really cold and i have time to lounge in a bath

26. Team Cap or Team Ironman: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh sure

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: fantasy!!!

28. Fav Quotes: i dont really have any off the top of my head

29. Youtube or Netflix: usually use netflix

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: i like both a lot but i think i like pj a bit more

31. When I Feel Accomplished: being productive in any way lmao

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: i dont have an opinion on either, never watched em, star wars memes are funny tho

33. Paperback Books or Hardback: hard cover but they expensiiiive

34. A world without literature or music: oh man...i guess id rather have books than music but id be super bummed

35. Who was the last person to make me laugh: i dont actually remember?

36. Sour or Sweet Candy: hate candy hate both these flavors 

37. Believe in aliens?: i just dont think its possible with our universe being as big as it is, and thats just the parts we know about, that we’re the only living beings, sentient or not

38. Dawn or Dusk: dawn

39. Piercings or Tattoos: im a baby i have neither lmao

40. Girls? Hot?: i love the way this question is worded lol the rumor come out: does girls is hot? yes.

41. Snow or Fog: me binch let the silent hill fog come kill me

42. Sleep facing the wall or room: i like to sleep with my face smashed into my pillow when possible

43. TRC of AFTG: those sure are some letters

44. Horror or Drama: horror

45. Orcarina of Time or Majora’s Mask: oh no....my childhood favs....i guess id pick mm because i feel like it has more of a sense of..identity than oot? if that makes sense lmao

46. Living in nature or city: fuck trees

47. Any addictions: im addicted to this jar of raw honey i got for 10 dollars im gonna be featured in the upcoming ep of my strange addiction where i just stare at the camera and eat spoonfuls of honey

48. Languages: english, very basic and bad japanese, currently learning spanish

49. What music do I listen too: ill listen to anything thats not some white dude singing about boobs beer and his truck and thats a fact

50. Fav mythical creature: dragonsssss

51. Safe zone:  frozen custard shop down the street, if you clip inside you’re invulnerable to all enemies

52. First fandom: uhh the first thing i ever consumed fancontent for was inuyasha 

53. Cartoons or Adult Shows: i like both but ill watch cartoons more 

54. Current music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RhOnTC5yxQ

55. Favorite starter?: bulbasaur, also my fav pokemon #001 baby

56.  What would your witch’s familiar be? im gonna be boring and say a black cat lol

im half asleep anyone who wants to do this can aha

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New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/01/06/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-1617/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 1/6/17

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2017, where we’re gonna lose even more celebrities than we did last year! That’s right, kiss Betty White goodbye!

  On the movie front, since we last got together, I saw Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Yeah, it didn’t do much for me. Now, let me back up a bit. I did miss the first 20 minutes because I had double-booked the night. So, I did miss the setup, but my friend caught me up so I’d know who everyone was. There was Hector “Space” Gonzalez, and Trixie Bang Bang, and Gay Karate Man, and He Who Shoots From Canister Vacuum. And they were fighting the evil Sir Capes A Lot, who was building the Death Star. I got all that. Still, something about it just left me empty. I feel like it’s a giant Easter egg of a movie for those hardcore Star Wars fans, but I’m not sure what it offers the casual fan. ***SPOILER ALERT***I mean, it’s just one big suicide mission. It’s impressive how they’ve worked it into the existing tapestry of A New Hope, but it’s not a story that had to be told, especially since no one made it off that beach. Just kinda bummed me out***END SPOILER***. Anyway, every Star Wars fan I know loved it, so I’m happy for them.

I finally watched the Justice League Action special I mentioned in the last post. It was OK. I mean, I loved that a lot of familiar voices were back, like Kevin Conroy and Khary Randolph, but I’m not sure I’m sold on the animation. First thing to remember is that it’s not the Justice League/Justice League Unlimited that we got over 10 years ago. It’s aimed at a younger audience, and the episodes are best described as “bite sized”. In the special, the Trinity team up with Captain Marvel, Swamp Thing, Green Arrow, Plastic Man and John Constantine to fight evil D’Jinn brothers. It was OK. Like, it wasn’t riveting, but it felt like the kind of thing that would be released directly to DVD. Not sure I’m gonna be DVRing it every Saturday morning. What did y’all think?

Since I’ve been a booster of it since the development stage, it’s with heavy heart that I can confirm that Girl Meets World has been canceled by Disney Channel. I was a huge fan of Boy Meets World, as I feel like I basically grew up with Corey, Shawn, and Topanga. Their stories weren’t as zany as the TNBC fare, but they weren’t always heavy, either. Sure, every now and then you’d get an episode about how Shawn’s poor white trash, but those episodes were few and far between. So, that’s kinda what I expected from Girl Meets World. And I’ve gotta say I was disappointed because that show got heavy as FUCK sometimes! Is there a God? Why did Maya’s dad leave? Is Farkle autistic? It’s like every episode just HAD to teach a lesson. Oh, and they reminded us Maya was poor white trash every possible chance they could get.

I loved the legacy aspect of it, but it just didn’t hit on all cylinders like I felt Fuller House did (which, by the way, was just renewed for a 3rd season on Netflix). Sure, Full House was treacly dreck, but then again, so was a lot of Boy Meets World. They were both ensconced in the world of TGIF at one time or another, and had similar ingredients. I just feel like Fuller House came back with nothing to prove, while Girl Meets World seemed like it was fulfilling some mandate from Disney that it had to be educational. It is surprising, however, that it’s not getting a fourth season, as Disney tends to love their 100-episode runs – the point at which the shows become no longer profitable to produce. Sure, Even Stevens and Lizzie McGuire only ran two seasons, but later hits like That’s So Raven and Hannah Montana got four seasons.

To be honest, part of me feels like the cancellation stems from star Rowan Blanchard’s tweets last year, where she came out as identifying as queer. Now, Disney is a pretty progressive company, but I’m not sure they knew how to spin that, and the renewal question has been up in the air since then. Still, a lot of folks are discussing the fact that Raven-Symone is a lesbian, yet she has her That’s So Raven reboot coming to Disney Channel, so maybe I’m wrong. Some fans are hoping the show will be picked up by Freeform (formerly ABC Family), where it could tackle more mature themes, but I think it’s done for now. The final 3 episodes air this month.

In TV news, there were a few bait and switch situations this week. First up, it was reported that Will & Grace was definitely coming back for a limited 10-episode run following the success of that voting video they did a few months back. Recurring guest star Leslie Jordan started blabbing that it was a done deal until Debra Messing finally came out and said that nothing had moved past the talking stage at this point. On the one hand, I loved Will & Grace during a tumultuous time in my life, but I’m kinda done with it. I want a Will & Grace reunion about as much as I wanna see a Mad About You reunion (God, that was a horrible finale!). Still, Hollywood’s out of ideas, so I’d say it’s still happening.

Next up, reports came out of The International Consumer Electronics Show that Conan would be moving to a weekly schedule, a la Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. It’s been rumored that the show had been having trouble booking high profile guests, and the best ratings came from when Conan would travel and tape on location. By the end of yesterday, however, TBS reported that there were no plans for a format change “at this time”. So, just like with Will & Grace, it’s happening. They’re just upset they couldn’t get in front of it fast enough.

Speaking of cable shows, Archer is finally moving to FXX this season. The original plan was for FXX to be Fox’s cable comedy network, while FX would handle the dramas. However, when FXX launched, it just became the home of The Simpsons until It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia got shuffled over there. The fact that they didn’t move Louie and Archer, however, made it seem like a vote of no confidence for the spinoff network. Archer’s is little long in the tooth these days, and it’s no longer the crown jewel it once was, but I wonder if it’s got the juice to get more eyeballs on FXX. I hope it works because I love Man Seeking Woman and You’re The Worst over there, and they could both use more viewers.

In comic news, DC Entertainment President Geoff Johns confirmed that there would soon be an announcement regarding a new DCTV television show. Now, it’s not clear if this is another Berlantiverse series, a la Arrow/The Flash, or an unconnected show like Gotham. I’m curious if it’s just a confirmation of the Black Lightning show that had already been ordered to pilot by Fox, or if it’s something completely different. Also, it’s being reported that Johns will write some Watchmen comics this summer. This is a terrible idea since so many fanboys treat Watchmen like it’s their Bible, so there’s no way this will be well-received. They tried the Before Watchmen series, which didn’t really catch fire. They just had to go and reintroduce the concept in DC Universe Rebirth #1, so now I guess they’ve gotta do something with it. I’ve never felt Watchmen was “untouchable”, but I have no desire to revisit that world, so this project simply isn’t for me.

In wrestling news, it’s being reported that Diamond Dallas Page and “Ravishing” Rick Rude will be inducted into the 2017 class of the WWE Hall of Fame during Wrestemania weekend. The latter one really means a lot to me. I think Rick Rude was my first favorite wrestler because he was my introduction to the concept of a “ladies man”. The way he would pick a random woman out of the audience, and bring her into the ring. He’d kiss her, she’d pass out, and then he’d gyrate over her. That was a true pimp move right there! Like most wrestlers, he died before his time, so I guess he’s gyrating over angels now.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Supergirl star Melissa Benoist divorced her husband of 21 months, Blake Jenner

Woody Harrelson is in talks to portray Obi-Wan’s mentor in an upcoming Star Wars film

Former UFC champion Ronda Rousey lost to Amanda Nunes in 48 seconds, after training for over a year for her comeback.

A Charmed reboot is in the works at The CW. It’s reported to be set in the 70s, but will have some kind of connection to the original series.

Mariah Carey “lost the plot”, as out British friends might say, when her pre-recorded track messed up on New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. She claims they intentionally sabotaged her for ratings, while Dick Clark Productions reports that she didn’t even come to soundcheck.

80’s pop star Richard Marx and wife, former VJ Daisy Fuentes, subdued a crazed passenger on a Korean airline. In other news, how the Hell did Richard Marx land Daisy Fuentes?!

It was revealed that Drew Barrymore’s upcoming Netflix sitcom Santa Clarita Diet is actually a zombie show. Meh. I’ve been over zombies since 2006.

In Arizona, folks reported seeing a winged demon, heralding the beginning of the apocalypse. Yup, 2017 is gonna be swell!

When I first heard about The Mick, starring It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia‘s Kaitlin Olsen, a lot of thoughts went through my head: Is Sunny over? Is Fox gonna bury it? Will it even be funny? Luckily, I got my answers pretty quickly. No, Sunny is still going, as they scheduled The Mick around its shooting schedule. Fox didn’t bury it, but instead gave it some prime real estate after one of the last regular season football games of the season. And was it funny? Yeah, it’s funny.

If you haven’t heard of it, Olson stars as MacKenzie “Mickey” Murphy who’s going nowhere in life. She’s got no money, no prospects, and a deadbeat boyfriend. She decides to pay a visit to her wealthy sister to hit her up for a loan when the FBI raids the party, carting her sister off to jail for fraud. Once released, Mickey’s sister and brother in law flee the country, leaving their 3 kids in Mickey’s care. There’s the college bound bitch daughter, there’s the privileged snob teen son, and then there’s the precocious little boy who doesn’t really know what’s going on. Of course Mickey butts heads with the older two, while befriending the maid, Alba. The pilot plays out somewhat predictably, as most of it had been shown in TV spots leading up to the show. It’s the second episode where things really kick into gear. A loan shark comes after Micky, while she and Alba are getting high at a rave. Meanwhile, the kids’ bitchy grandmother has come to take over the house, and grandma doesn’t play!

I thoroughly enjoyed both episodes that aired this week. As I said before, it debuted on Sunday, which I feel is a better night for it. Instead, however, its regular timeslot is Tuesdays at 8:30, following New Girl. It being a Fox show, however, it probably doesn’t have a prayer. After all, I thought Grandfathered would be a sure thing, and now Stamos is back on Fuller House duty. No, I doubt we get a second season of this thing, but I’ll enjoy it while it’s here. That’s why The Mick had the West Week Ever.