Applying for an RLMblr citizenship

I beg thee

can we have Thatcher not being depressed for once

like give him some mental stability

or a fucking hug

Make Adam give him a hug

I don’t think he knows how to hug

when u want to like a character so so bad but theyre a cop so its impossible

been reading Point of Knives, the novella that takes place between Point of Hopes and Point of Dreams and goes into how Rathe and Eslingen's relationship gets started, and when i say i havent kicked my feet and covered my mouth and mentally giggled at an mm romance like this since..... well, probably ginn hale. like youre telling me these two have fucked a dozen times but cant be together because of the conflicting interests of their masters, but oh no! whats that? they have to work together again? and still have feelings for each other? and strike up a deal (complete with handshake) to be winter-lovers and make the best of it until they have to break if off again despite their feelings continuing to grow way out of hand? and one of them is too shy to ask the other his SUN SIGN even after having his bones rearranged? all this, while theres a double murder to be solved?

once again i genuinely cant believe how long it took me to find some of these really good older gay novels, how theyve managed to exist in the cracks completely removed from widespread word of mouth and recommendation blogs. i really cant wrap my head around it

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Idk, just thinkin'

am I the only one who's starting to feel like self care culture and therapist speak has lowkey done some serious damage to a lot of mentally ill young people over the last 8 or so years? It's literally the perfect vehicle for justifying insanely unhealthy coping mechanisms and addictions but I haven't heard anybody talking about it on here. Instead, I keep seeing posts that are like "be gentle with yourself: go at whatever pace is comfortable for you" and "it's okay to say no to things you don't want to do" but like...what if that thing you don't want to do is taking a shower or leaving the house or cooking your own meal at home? What if moving at a pace that is "comfortable" for you means you still haven't stopped smoking for the last decade because nicotine withdrawal and anxiety are not "comfortable"? And hey--at least you're only smoking ONE pack a day instead of two now, so that's almost as good as quitting entirely!

I'm saying all this as someone who is only just now coming out the other side and realizing how much of my late teens and twenties I've wasted because of my lack of accountability and aversion to the hard work that's necessary for recovery from addiction, eating disorders, and depression...and the whole time, I thought I was just practicing self care. But a lot of us should probably take a closer look at our behavior and ask ourselves, "is this really self care? Or is this just complacency, fear of failure, and denial?"

There's a word in addiction treatment that's used to describe family members, friends, or partners who give into their deeply disordered loved one's every demand--even when they know it's hurting them: enablers. I've seen a documentary of a 700 lb immobile man who was still managing to pile on weight because his wife went out every day and brought him every kind of junk food he asked for, all while claiming to love him more than anything else. But genuine, healthy love isn't watching your partner literally waste away before your eyes because you'd rather make him happy in the short-term: it's being fucking honest, and helping them get the assistance they need to get better even if you have to drag them kicking and screaming into rehab. And I'm of the belief that a lot of you out there end up confusing self-love / self-acceptance with self-enabling. One is easy while the other requires you to wake up and do the work every single day, even when it's ugly and messy and painful.

And listen--if your therapist has given you the full go-ahead to take the whole "gentle" route, or it's clearly working out really well for you, then by all means: keep at it. But more often than not, I think we need to stop wrapping ourselves in cotton. The way we treat ourselves should be how we'd ideally parent a child: obviously the overly harsh, critical, strict route rife with threats and punishment is a recipe for disaster, but the other extreme can be extremely damaging too. An overly compliant, indulgent parent who gives into their kid's every whim is likely going to produce selfish, entitled brats who have no concept that their actions have consequences. Neither approach is going to do their children many favors in the long run.

While I'm not fond of the boomer bootstrapping rhetoric, as I think a lot of it comes from an extremely skewed perspective of reality and the expectation that "if I can do it, everybody else should be able to do it just as easily", I also can no longer stand by the victimhood mentality so many fellow young millennials / gen z'ers seem to be living by. Because I spent the last ten years wallowing in it and all it gave me was lowered standards, a million excuses, self pity, and obesity. And it fucking sucks to confront the fact that you are ultimately the one who's responsible for your own behavior as an adult: it means you can't just blame it on society or your parents or your illness or whatever 'ism or 'phobia applies. Are all those things contributing factors that should be taken into account? Absolutely. Should you compare your progress to more privileged people's and feel shame that it's taking longer? No. But that doesn't mean you have no control of your life and choices--that you're powerless to do anything but wait for someone else to save you. Unless you're literally being held hostage at gunpoint, there are always things you can do to `improve your life and yourself. So next time you want to give up on a dream of yours, or justify not changing out of your pajamas for a fortnight in the name of self care, maybe ask yourself what an enabler would do vs. what a true friend would do

trying to piece together how old rain is by the fact that i've made him look slightly middle aged but he's a half-elf but he's bhaalspawn and there was the whole bhaalspawn situation and bhaal being dead until like after the second sundering so he probably wasn't creating new little cretins but he's certainly not older than bhaal being dead bc that would be way too old and all of bhaal's children had to be killed for him to be brought back anyway so the durge must be a second/third gen bhaalspawn like orin because otherwise he'd be like 14 at most if he was created after bhaal was ressurected like

Yes! It is a cut content, in game files! No known purpose, exists as just an icon.

I think the biggest key to why it was cut is... well, look at the color of the eyes in the box. They are baby blue color, and we know Maria has pale green eyes - same as Doll that does mirror her! I have this speculation that making Maria and the Doll the same person was sort of a last moment decision from the developers, and initially Doll maybe WAS just a standalone character and helper. Or based off someone else?

Also, Gehrman needing this repair kit would suggest way longer timeframe of Doll existing (real world I mean) - like to the point he’d need to fix her consistently. I think it could be another reason for cutting it; if cut dialogue lines by the Gatekeeper ( x ) are anything to go by, developers struggled to decide how long time ago Yharnam fell into this sorry place, reaching as far as one hundred of years idea at some point! So maybe removing it helped to further obscure the time passage and let players decide themselves!

ALSO knowing how laconic Soulsborne games are with important characters interactions, they’d need to limit it to one item per NPC - and Maria’s hair ornament pushed more on emotion and Gehrman’s deep sadness. Hunter helping to repair Doll would push more for forming the bond between Hunter and Doll instead and devs said ‘no, backstory between two existing characters is more important’. However IF you give Doll hair ornament, her (rare) prayer for Hunter gets an extra line about her wishing them a ‘peaceful awakening’, so... they actually did both with ornament choice instead!

VERY early stages of creation!!!!!!! but this is what i've been doing for the last few hours. i wish i could make his eyes look more hollow and deep-set but alas... the limitations of the sims' sliders...

as much as I like Cavan Scott and Dooku: Jedi Lost I can not wrap my head around Ky Narec willingly staying on Rattatak with A FORCE-SENSITIVE CHILD HE SHOULD'VE TAKEN TO THE TEMPLE for like about 20 years because he thinks he should be in exile??? I might have misunderstood it but that's such an insane concept. What would make him do that.

"cleopatra movie starring zendaya as cleopatra and timothee chalamet as octavian" i was having a good day and now i have an anger headache

it’s late night, so it’s time to think irrationally again

they should make funded graduate programs for people who could have realistic chances of getting into them actually.