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britany1997 · 1 year

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The Lost Boys watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

(Part Two- Seasons 4-5) (spoilers for BTVS)

Part one

•They take another break after the season 3 final. Angel leaving the show broke Dwayne’s heart just a little

•They start season four and Paul’s like, ‘there’s a vampire frat???? Where can I pledge?!

•…never mind

•They don’t have a good feeling about this Parker guy (really they just don’t like to watch her fuck human guys, but 🤷🏻‍♀️)

•They think Dingos Ate My Baby is really cool

•Marko and Paul think they should start a band too!

•Dwayne and David are like, we don’t play instruments?????

• “you guys ruin everything”😠 -Marko

•David’s like, ‘fine, we all sing you guys want to start a quartet? Is that what you want????’

•Paul thinks that sounds like a good time tbh

•But he senses David was being sarcastic…so they keep watching.

•SPIKE IS BACK???? Fuck. Yes.

•He’s got a new crazy vampire babe?? This guy is their hero

•Dwayne is like, I can’t believe Spike literally tried to kill Buffy but Parker’s the biggest villain of this episode

•They all love Oz

•They don’t care that he’s a wolf, they’d vibe (ok, David cares a little)

•Paul swears up and down that man smokes weed. He’s like, no person is that calm all the time

•NEVERMIND

•Paul watches Oz cheat on Willow and he says “it’s giving Parker”

•The military got Spike????? THAT CAN HAPPEN???

•They had never considered this possibility before

•They’re like damn we might have to lay low for a couple weeks, like “the murder capital of the world” is probably on some government radars

•Dwayne says he only supports an army totally independent of and opposed to a capitalist state

•Paul’s like, can we just watch the show? Geez

•They are absolutely terrified by the prospect of a chip that can stop you from killing

•Marko is furious

• “WHY WOULD YOU TAKE AWAY HIS ONE TRUE JOY IN UNLIFE YOU MONSTERS.”

•They take another break after this episode, that last one was the vampire equivalent of a Saw movie

•They come back after their massacre break

•David’s like, this better be a Spike heavy episode

•Spike’s kinda in his ‘no bitches🥺’ era right now tho

•They skip Pangs. As they should.

•Next episode Willow casts a spell so that Buffy falls for Spike

•They like Willow

•They do NOT like Riley

•They thought Xander was the biggest Vampire cock block and now Buffy’s flirting with this army guy????

•Disappointing

•Hush freaks them out

•Dwayne is clenching his teeth throughout the episode.

•Like they may be vampires but these freaky guys cutting peoples hearts out in silence with smiles on their faces? Hella creepy. They are not fans

• “No Spike don’t stake yourself you’re too sexy ahaha”-Paul

•He even makes a Hawaiian shirt look good

•Like why he keep it unbuttoned like that, he knew what he was doing

•David listens to them thirst over this guy that looks quite a bit like him with a smirk on his face praise kink

• ‘oh man the military organization are the bad guys? Who could have predicted this incredibly surprising turn of events’🙄

•Spike can’t catch a break

•Marko is SO pissed he can’t eat Riley

•All this seasons problems could be solved if Spike could eat Riley

•Faith is back and it’s erotic

•Paul watches this episode chanting “kiss kiss kiss” under his breath

•They do not kiss:(

•Faith stole Buffy’s body???

•😮😮😮😮

•They get to that one scene with Spike in the Bronze where Faith (in Buffy’s body) tells Spike, “I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more.”

•Paul’s like, ‘I would sell my soul just to hear her say that to me’

•David’s like, ‘you already sold your soul for eternal life dumbass’

•Paul is grumpy™️

•The next episode features Riley and Buffy having constant and uncontrollable sex

•It hurts Paul to see people living his dream

•The boys pat him on the back sympathetically

•Oz comes back and Marko’s like, ‘She likes GIRLS dog boy! You blew it!’

•They love Willow and Tara🥰 unproblematic couple

•Spike is a MENACE Marko loves him

•finding new and innovative ways to be evil😈

•The military is really putting chips in people left and right (new fear unlocked for the boys)

•Paul should NOT have smoked before the dream sequence episode

•Dracula cameo in the next episode

•They did him dirty with this portrayal, he’s not that ugly in really life

•Like that’s sort of their great grandfather??

•She let him drink from her?? Again, it hurts to see everyone else living their dream😔

•Dracula has not one, but three crazy vampire girlfriends

•Respect.

•Marko is seething

•Buffy kills Dracula and they’re like, so are the hot vampire chicks free👀

•Harmony’s back? Nice.

•They’re already tired of Dawn.

•She has a crush on Xander so they know she’s got terrible taste

•Spike has a plan to get that chip out of his head, Marko’s like, “fucking finally” he misses bloodthirsty Spike he was hot

•Spike does not get the chip out of his head

•He DOES have a wet dream about Buffy

•Paul’s like, ‘he just like me fr’

•This next episode features Spike in his orignal ‘No Bitches🥺’ era

•They all look at David when ponytail, glasses, poetry Spike comes on screen

• “I wasn’t like that.” -David

•They like, ok and all side eye each other👀

•Angel (sort of) makes a cameo in this episode and Dwayne smiles

•He missed him🥺

•They watch 70s punk Spike steal his coat off the body of a dead slayer

•They’re like is that how you got yours David

•He’s like yes

•He found it in a dumpster, but the boys don’t need to know that

•Spike is boyfriend material fr, Buffy’s trippin’

•They don’t like when the monsters are gross

•They came here for a sexy time and a sexy time only😤

•Riley’s going to vampire clubs to let vampires drink from him? Dwayne says: “men will do anything but go to therapy”

•They watch her set the vampire den on fire with their jaws on the floor

• “I really think I could fix her you guys, I just need one night” -Paul

•They roll their eyes at Riley’s bitching

•Just let him fly away on that helicopter Buffy, you can do better

•Spike is killing vampires now?? Wtf???

•Paul’s like, ‘we’ve done a lot of things to get laid. Remember Michael?’ They stare at David

•David’s like you right you right

•Glory’s a god? Damn

•They like ayo baby let us worship you

•real talk, there’s not many characters on the show they don’t find incredibly attractive

•Dawn, Xander, and Riley are pretty much the only ones that didn’t make the hot list

• “but what about Giles?” He sings and plays guitar, he looks damn good in a suit, he’s a total daddy, he’s on the list.

•Spike is a simp

•SPIKE IS A HUGE SIMP

•Takes her on a little stake out date and everything (smooth)

•Buffy rejects him?

•They like give him a chance Buffy he would treat you so well (and let him bite you a little geez)

•Marko’s like, ‘there’s more vampire sex coming right? It wasn’t just the one time’

•Paul’s like, ‘I read the season six plot summary, yes😈’

•Woah crazy vampire girlfriend’s back

•Things are gettin kinda freaky

•They had missed the bondage in this show fr

•Buffy’s mom dies?!?!

•This episode hurt them

•As little as they care for human life, they all had mothers once, even if they can’t remember anymore

•Humans are so fragile

•Angel returns to comfort Buffy, Dwayne thinks he’s husband material

•Spike has those nerd guys build him a…Buffy sex robot???

•Dwayne’s team Angel

•Paul’s like, “haha that’s so crazy of him” he immediately googles if he can get one

•He cannot. Probably for the best.

•Willow has to watch Tara’s brain get drained from her skull???? No!!!!

•They love Willow and Tara!!!

•They don’t care how hot this bitch is (they care a little) Buffy better kick her ass

•oh damn ok Willow’s gonna kick her ass

•They’re running away now?

•Spike pulls up with a giant Winnebago, they love him

•Paul’s like, ‘you think we can drive during the day like that if we black out all the windows?’

•Dwayne’s like, ‘you know you’re never allowed behind the wheel of a car ever again’

•Paul pouts

•The bad guys steal the kid?

•Things got real dark real quick

•SHE HAS TO DIE? Wtf

•Paul’s like ‘remember when the biggest problem in this show was what to wear to the prom?’

•Buffy and Spike are friends again! Yay!

•Willow a badass fr

•Oh my god they might really kill this kid

•SHE DIES??? BUFFY DIES???

•It can’t end like this

•They need another break after that finale (Paul is inconsolable)

There will be a part 3 for seasons 6-7!! (And season sex six is spicy, Paul’s excited)

Tag list❤️🖤❤️:

@misslavenderlady @6lostgirl6 @ghoulgeousimmaculate @crustyraccoon @riz-coolgirl @skeletonea

#the lost boys #dwayne lost boys #david lost boys #paul lost boys #marko lost boys #tlb #tlb 1987 #lost boys headcanons #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys fic #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #buffy btvs

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