#i just like to perceive my friends BUT if you say no i can unfollow you say no more about it
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When I first joined this fandom in late 2022, I had some traction with some stories. And some people reached out to see if I wanted to join a discord server that was owned by a person who at the time had over 1000 followers and posted quite frequently. She was popular, though she presented herself as much more popular than she was. Let’s call her Z.
I did not connect with everyone there, in fact I was uncomfortable for reasons I will go into in a moment, but there were some people I really did connect with, and I stayed to be close to them. And then one day, my closest friend there was kicked out of the space with little to no explanation. He begged the mods and Z, formerly his close friends, and was blocked. I combed the server, but I couldn’t find anything that he did that in my opinion was worth kicking him out. Then he began losing followers and receiving many hurtful and upsetting anons on his tumblr. Angry, because I suspected they had something to do with it, I stopped posting in there and later left. I was disgusted that this was going on and they were acting to my face like it wasn’t, and still sucking up to me about my stories. He said he was worried about me believing him, believing that whatever he did, he didn’t understand what it was. But having witnessed Z’s behavior in her server I had no problem believing it was her and her friends.
Z used to find fanfiction or art of ships that she didn’t like, and @ everyone in the server to come look at it, despite knowing it was extremely distressing for some members. If you protested that you had no issue with these ships in fiction but that maybe you didn’t want to see that on a Tuesday at work in the general chat, Z and her closest friends would harass you (me) to say that it was bad, and evil. She often called for people to unfollow these artists, or block users who she had found and showed to us without any participation on our part. Despite this she frequently became interested in dead dove subject matter, but it was always ok when she did it. Boundaries did not exist to her, except for the boundaries of her taste and how she thought the world should be. Z would routinely make jokes about sensitive subjects like trans rights, and let's just say it felt like it wasn’t her place. But don’t worry, Z would say, I have friends who are [joke she had made] [from country she had insulted] so it’s fine. There’s only so many times you can hear a joke like that and not wonder why it’s being made over and over. If you were offended, everything was a joke, or there was something you didn’t understand.
This server was a deeply uncomfortable space. Many times I felt harassed over my politics, over my opinions in fiction, and it was often easier to just swallow this. When I met my friends there, they showed courage standing up for themselves and I am so glad that I found them. With them, my experiences of this fandom lightened enormously. Z and her friends had made me so paralyzed, paranoid and unhappy. I had been afraid to even talk about my race however tangentially. I was afraid to make posts against anti behavior, because they had so twisted the way I thought the Billy fandom would perceive them. Thankfully I do not think that the majority of the fandom agrees with her views.
Z apparently has been presenting harassing my friend as a misunderstanding. Perhaps the misunderstanding is that she thinks any of this is harmless. Misunderstandings can be overcome, discussed, apologized for. If someone is confused, you can explain, you can be civil. There was no discussion.
Z made no effort, except to further talk about him and others behind their backs. She never reached out to clear anything up at any time. Her excuses when she made them were frankly shocking. And she never explained to me why my friend was so dangerous, but hid behind fake apologies and more popular friends, lying to my face like things were all good. My friend made a post when he felt safe with her username and the username of another person who harassed him. My friends that I kept from that server are the bravest people I know who understand that reputation means nothing if you can’t look at your own actions with conviction. And Z went away for a time.
Until I earlier this year, I was invited to a very large Billy server. Immediately I was confused by a user I had seemingly never seen before who had me blocked. It was Z, with a new name. She had me blocked until she saw me interacting positively with a very popular artist. Then I somehow became unblocked. Which was very interesting. I came to find that she was very close friends with them or tried to be. She appeared to be very close with the owner of the server too.
I was obviously wary but who knows. People can change. I really believe that. Unfortunately I do not believe that she has changed yet.
All of her old behavior was back as was my paranoia and fear. And it appeared that, emboldened by her friendship with the owner of the server and others, she felt safe going even further. Here was finally what she had craved, a large platform and popularity to continue her previous behavior. I later came to find out that the owner of the server had her own issues with bullying others, twisting the truth, and other, much more serious things. They showed the same character that Z always did, sweet to my face and sour behind everyone’s back. Yet again people said that they worried they wouldn’t be believed. They were afraid of the fandom famous people who were their friends.
Perhaps it’s just me, but if I had been called out in the past for bullying a trans person online I would distance myself from any appearance of transphobia or bullying or lying. Not Z. She in fact announced that she would bully the mods and “everyone” in the server when people joined. I am not paraphrasing, she said he was a bully so often that it was almost comical. She openly said she was an anti when someone confronted her over AGAIN trying to publicly shame authors and create mass unfollowing campaigns. There were no or minimal consequences for this. She would casually bring up the same old jokes and dogwhistles that she used to, uglier with time, and to me pathetically stripped of anything that could have excuse them.
Nobody told me these things. I saw it with my own eyes. But still, somehow, she was the hero, the popular beloved person in every story. I was afraid because she had very powerful friends. Or at least she pretended she did. Because she was friends with a server owner who hurt people I cared about. I am still afraid now. But I’d rather do it afraid for my friends than watch this happen.
I would give up every stupid note on every stupid meme if it meant trans people, and all vulnerable people, felt safe in fandom spaces. I am tired of dishonest communication and trying to play some stupid game I never fucking cared about. If some popular person wants to crush me like a grape for believing my friends, they can go ahead and do it already.
Everybody wants to be liked, everybody wants to be believed. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. But I’m done waiting for people to believe me or like me. I’m done waiting for people to wake up and take a look in the mirror. To explain and to deign themselves to listen. I believe in my friends. I believe my eyes, and I believe in my own convictions. That’s enough for me.
I believe people can change. I hope they do. But I hope they do away from vulnerable people who they can hurt carelessly.
I’m not blocking you. Clean up your own mess.
#fandom wank#but is it tho#harringrove#fandom discourse#applewillowstone#flashwaves#harringrovepolls
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hello, friends 🫶🏻
just a psa/personal rant?? not really a rant but
i wanted to talk about a few things, and i think the cleanest and easiest segue is to say: i have left all of my writing networks. it is 100% nothing personal to any of them, i have enjoyed each and every one, but there are a few reasons why.
one, i am not active in any of the discord servers, so there was ✨anxiety✨ about not contributing and feeling obligated.
two (and this is the segue part): obviously these networks have a big reach, and i am feeling more and more anxious about exposing my work to the masses.
it’s a double-edged sword, because i write what i want and what makes me happy, but there is always a part of me that wants feedback and wants other people to see and enjoy it. but it has been tense here lately and the “please do not perceive me” feelings are REAL.
there is just… no nuance anymore. me posting “i don’t think it was a good decision for jungkook to go to qatar” turned into a bunch of anons calling me islamophobic and a bunch of other stuff. me saying it was a bad look for jimin to feature on a song by a r*pist turned into “you can’t have an opinion because you’re a rap line stan.”
i’m most certainly not perfect. i try to do the right thing. but tumblr has turned into a place where you will get bullied off the site if someone does not like you personally and decides you’re the internet’s villain of the day. you are put into situations you cannot win. if you defend yourself, you’re making excuses. if you don’t, you’re guilty and all those things people accused you of being are true.
it is literally this tweet:
this is not a fandom known for being welcoming of discourse, but we have to be able to give others grace. there has to be nuance. like, we are literally stanning bts, who have done and said and written problematic things. we should not excuse intentionally harmful behavior, but we need to be able to have conversations and believe, to a certain extent, that not everyone behaves in malicious ways.
we all fuck up and will continue to do so. i hope your mistakes are handled with grace and you are given the benefit of the doubt, and i hope you extend that grace when others inevitably make mistakes as well.
i am not involved in drama here. i am 31 years old and too old and tired. i just want to write and cry over seokjin and shitpost with my friends.
i’m sure this has all been said before, but: i was offline at the time everything went down with m (shout-out the fucking car accident i got in on my way to pick up my friends from the airport, why did this seemingly happen to everyone??) but they are someone i have interacted with both here and offline, and how all of that played out was fucked up, to say the least. others have explained it far more eloquently than me, but it bears repeating.
so while i love writing and i love sharing my work, there is a part of me that’s anxious every time i post. including this. i will continue to do so and hope that this site becomes warmer and more welcoming, because i see a lot of posts lamenting writers leaving or deactivating, and i just think: “well, yeah.”
enough has been said about interaction and the like/reblog ratio, which is definitely a huge part. it can be demoralizing to spend so much time and effort writing a fic that gets little interaction. but the environment is a big part, too, and i’m hopeful that can change.
(but also—protect your peace, whatever that means for you. unfollow that person. block that tag. you don’t have to engage with everything, especially if it raises your blood pressure. one of the few good things about the internet is that you’re largely able to curate your experience. don’t feel guilty about taking advantage of that.)
i will finish this by saying: i am always open to having conversations so long as they’re in good faith. it is not anyone’s place to police my behavior, but if i ever do or say something that is not cool, you are more than welcome to address it with me. i encourage you to do so. as flor once said: comfort can’t help me grow up.
love u all. pls be nice to one another. 🖤
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Vintage holiday card poster weirdchristmas has a regular problem with people trying to tell them how they should run their blog, and they made a comment that really rang true for me:
For whatever reason (maybe because it skews younger?), Tumblr seems to have more of that than anywhere else. Pretty much all the complaints are on here, never on Twitter or FB/IG or anything else. But Tumblr seems to have more of a culture of "I must register my position or I am not an ethical participant in the world."
I'm not active enough anywhere else to say how tumblr-specific this is, but I'm constantly puzzling over why so many people react to a post/blog as if it is directed at THEM, PERSONALLY and they have to like vote on whether it works for them or not. It seems like a rarer and rarer thing to have the appropriate reaction "This has nothing to do with me, I'm not interested, I can ignore this, and even unfollow or block this person if I want." People will correct you on the slightest perceived error (whether or not they have any basis for knowing the answer), and they will also tell you if they have nothing to say, instead of just moving on.
Recently I asked a question about some social behavior I observe, and the vast majority of responders checked in just to let me know they didn't know what I was talking about (or to add something irrelevant as usual); if I were in their shoes, I would have like...not answered a question I didn't know the answer to, I really didn't need to have a list of everybody who didn't have a response. Then I asked a sarcastic rhetorical question about a movie I was watching and someone chimed in to tell me they didn't know the answer and they knew how to look it up, but they weren't going to do it; it's OK that they couldn't detect my (rather obvious) sarcasm, but why fucking tell me they didn't know and would not find out? Why do I have to hear that, who fucking cares? Years ago I had to block someone who had become really aggressive with his (often pointless) replies, and I'll never forget how he replied to a post I made about a TV show or something--you know, it was like, "Hey if anyone saw this show, can you remember the ending of episode X", and this guy replied, "I don't know, I never watched it." It blew my mind, it was like WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS, MY BLOG IS NOT A PHONE THAT I CALL YOU ON, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE NO RESPONSE. That guy used to constantly, rudely tell me whether he agreed or disagreed with every opinion I expressed, every trivial thing I liked or didn't like, as if my personal tastes were like local government and it was his civic duty to manage them, and he kept doing this even after I said very publicly and explicitly more than once that I didn't appreciate it, and he was extremely sore after I blocked him and he complained to one of my best friends about it like she was going to help him...but with the unwelcome opining and unsolicited advice type stuff, even though I hate it, I understand it a little more than I understand someone just telling me that they have no response to my post. You know how that old addage goes, "If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything at all!"
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🕯️🌻🍬🍬🐚🍅🐝🧩📚
thank you for the ask and the low-level anxiety (you'll see what i mean)
🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?
i mean, it's not my favorite part of the process, but i don't mind it. i like being able to fine-tune to make sure everything is just right.
🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis
hmm... can i go for an easy out and say the mods at @thebrownstone? 😂 i do genuinely appreciate them, they work really hard to keep that server running, which is so admirable because it is a HUGE server.
🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character
perhaps not unpopular, but certainly not common: june is a lesbian
🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character
ok i do have. an actually unpopular opinion. but i don't want people to unfollow me for sharing it, because i do think everyone is entitled to their own, this is just mine 😩
i think junopez was an unnecessary addition, and it's kind of annoying how fixated the fandom is on it... please don't unfollow me - threesomes in general just aren't my cup of tea, which is apparently a minority opinion in this fandom and i'm not trying to hate on anyone else for liking those things, i just kind of groan internally and duck out of the conversation whenever it gets brought up because i think it's overrated
🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?
depends on the nature of the surprise 😅
🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing
learn to end a sentence 😂
🐝 ⇢tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them
well. my best friend, first of all, but she's a private person and probably wouldn't appreciate me tagging her 😂 she does not wish to be perceived. that's not the nice thing though !!! the nice thing is that she's not even in any of the fandoms i write for, but she'll still read most of my writing anyway to encourage my interests.
i'm also gonna tag @user-anakin because bec is always there to yell at me when i share a new snippet <3
and @gayrootvegetable too because i cry every time they say they're rereading my fic
EDIT: I FORGOT TO TAG MY BETA/SIDEKICK IDK HOW but omg @44whispers is always there to yell about my WIP with me and help me iron out the kinks, ily muah <3
🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?
bad grammar/the whole fic being published as one paragraph/clunky characterization
📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?
i don't really use my notes app for writing purposes… the last time i did was to keep track of all the overly-pedantic google searches i made while writing It's Nice to Have a Friend, including but not limited to:
whether or not the cowboy emoji existed in 2011 (it did not)
the difference between MI5 and MI6 (national vs international)
how long does a wedding reception take (up to 10 hours depending on the planned activities 😳)
line dancing (i spent over an hour going down this rabbit hole)
#i'm so scared i'm gonna get people yelling at me in my inbox for that opinion but you asked!!!!#i thought about saying ''oh haha idk i don't really have one 😅" but I DO HAVE ONE#AND I NEED TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST#i am. so nervous 😩#no idea how that will be received#ask game
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Here an ask you implied:
Soo hypothetically speaking, if you’d see or hear anything about an Upstead reunion while you’re there, would you share right away or wait til the episode aired? 👀😅
Good, bad or otherwise, my lips are staying sealed until the finale.
These make sound like you know something & how keep saying ur not giving spoilers to anyone. That’s why people got upset over TS lyrics implications… I understood you weren’t connecting it to whatever Upstead future, but many take things very literal. Wouldn’t you get upset if say someone announced they had some kind of major Trasse info, but won’t say a thing about what it is?
So let me get this straight…your “proof” of me saying something is gonna happen with Upstead is a post where I say I’m not going to say anything that does or doesn’t happen with Upstead? K.
As for the spoilers, I saw them filming Tracy’s last two episodes ever…why the fuck would I spoil them for anyone? I haven’t even told my closest friends anything that I’ve seen or heard. I’m sure as hell not about to tell random people who I know I can’t trust as far as I can throw them.
People taking things literal is quite LITERALLY the problem in this fandom and making it my responsibility for how y’all perceive or react to anything is another. Y’all are the ones insinuating and putting words in my mouth, and acting entitled to know everything I know just because I went to Chicago when I did.
My experiences are mine. They are not ours. And I am not obligated to share anything with anyone. If you don’t like it, the unfollow button is up top and to the right on my profile.
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God ur so self righteous it hurts 😭 all u ever do is sit here and throw around ur hot takes and opinions and then expect ur little gremlins to agree with you, but as soon as its another person who has a hot take or an opinion that opposes you, and a few people defend them whether it be a friend or an anon, they are evil, and this is just fatphobia aside like this is EVERY "moral" take you have its just all hot garbage and you being a hypocrit 💀 half the time its stuff that you have literally no say on anyway.
Are you a vampire? Have you always been afraid of mirrors?
"Moral backbone" my ass you just say whatever you will think would appeal to various minorities so you can look like the good guy who happens to be blunt. Its not even being blunt you arent cool for being a cunt towards everyone and it will never be cool. Stick to talking about shit that relates to you and maybe, just maybe, people wouldn't hate on you so much. It's no wonder half of caratblr can't stand ur ass
I dont think this take is as bad as that one time, or well multiple times you have shat on peoples writing styles or the content they write about just because it doesnt fit your vanilla cis straight woman narrative, now thats awful
Or maybe the times you've vagueposted about some of your closest moots just for them to still be here, defending your ass when all you do is talk shit about them constantly
you think i’m just saying what i think will appeal to various minorities. it’s really telling that you think people have the political beliefs they do just to look good. like do you really believe people have the beliefs they do performatively? do you find it hard to believe that people hold beliefs not out of a desire to look good, but because that’s what they believe???
also because this is weird: since when have i vagueposted about mutuals. when have mutuals defended me???? like what are you actually talking about … i don’t care if half of caratblr can’t stand my ass, if they’re that willing to support anything just because a fic writer did it, i don’t really care what they think. like i say it here all the time, i don’t care what y’all think of me. just unfollow me if you don’t want me on your dash.
the main thing i have to say here though. “half of the time it’s shit you have no say in anyway” like i don’t have to be black to think that anti-blackness is bad. this goes beyond whatever this anon is talking about — the problem with “listen to x voices” is that, while it’s important to put oppressed viewpoints in the forefront of discussions, it’s not a free pass out of critical thought. ppl forget “listen to x voices” started out in academic study. it wasn’t about the ppl you choose to defend or the viewpoints you hold publicly. and it’s not about minority voices saying “x isn’t harmful” taking precedence over established theory to the contrary. i think this is something ANY poc understands acutely and painfully because it’s always the conservative and white supremacist sellouts that get put to the forefront. (this includes diasporic poc more so than non-minority people native to their nation. like how irritating that bts has a voice on violence against asian americans when their experience as native koreans has NOTHING to do with the diasporic asian experience!?)
it also gives people an out. if you believe that only x people should talk or care about x issues, then that lets you just sit back and say “well, i’m not x so i’m not involved”… and more irritatingly, it gives you the perceived right to say “well I’M a minority so my opinion is right !!!!”. being a person of color doesn’t make me an expert on racism and i don’t pretend to be an expert. there are white anti-imperialist scholars who have a better understanding of racist power structures than i do and i’m not arrogant enough to just write that off because they’re white.
#jenna is that you lmao#jenna broke mutuals like a year ago when i said it was gross for a NATO korean war solider#to go back to korea on some sort of meaningful memory lane trip#because i sincerely hold anti-imperialist view points that i believe in not just for clout#they claimed to be defending me to mutuals??? idk my first time hearing about it
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ROLL UP LIKE A HOT WHEEL, I FUCK A BITCH UP WITH A HIGH HEEL
ALL LOVE FOR MY SAVIOR, BUT YOU DON’T EVER WANNA MEET A GAY GANGSTA
IND. SEL. FANDOM OC BLOG WRITTEN BY HEBBY 🔞
ABOUT AND RULES UNDER THE CUT
ABOUT
It’s the 2020s, babes, let’s embrace our cringiest deviantart OCs. He’s a Divine that fell from grace–kind of a huge troublemaker who kept wanting to make the Mortal Realm interesting. He maaaaaay be the one who flirted the idea of Power from the Emeralds to the ancient tribes so they’d all start fighting each other. Turns out the other Divines weren’t wild about that, and had Neerco banished to the Mortal Realm.
He had his rank and devotion stripped from him, and his temples were defaced–which means the less worship he was getting, the less influence he had. And to top it all off, his true angelic form (a horrifying 50ft spider) was contained inside of a small mobian body. When first waking properly on Earth, he had no memories of who he was, and ended up making friends with a Dandelion and a Nightingale. However, as time passed, his memories returned and what he perceived as betrayal fueled his madness.
Abilities wise, Neerco was most heavily inspired by Q from Star Trek. He’s ridiculously OP, and we love him for that. Queen shit. Thing is, though, most of his magic and abilities in general don’t let him go TOO CRAZY. He can use his powers to give other creatures mutated forms and grotesque powers, but he can’t really use it on himself. So he likes to affect the world around him, but he can be resisted if a person’s convictions are pure enough. Which he hates. Hates that! Gross! Imagine being pure of heart. Couldn’t be him.
Neerco’s current place of residence is an old, abandoned Temple that used to be in worship of him, but was abandoned and discarded by mortals and divines alike. He’s been working his influence as much as he can to bring it back, and he’s got some followers that embrace chaos just as much as him. That voice whispering in your ear to do your nails and claw some motherfucker’s face off? That’s probably him.
voice claim: Todrick Hall
RULES
Hi, I’m Hebby! I’m in my 30s, my pronouns are they/them. I like to think of myself as pretty friendly and patient, but I’ve seen a lot of BS in my years RPing on this webbed site, so here’s some rules!
1. This blog is 21+ ONLY because I don’t want to write with immature people or minors.
2. LEAVE ME OUT OF FANDOM DRAMA. LEAVE ME OUT OF POLITICAL DRAMA. LEAVE ME OUT OF DRAMA! (“It’s not Drama, it’s–” LEAVE ME OUT OF IT, THIS IS AN RP BLOG!!!)
3. FANDOM COPS STAY TF AWAY! WE DON'T MORALIZE OVER FICTION HERE!
4. 90% of the art used on this blog was drawn by me, the rest was giftart. Please don’t use my icons or my art without explicit, current permission from me.
actual RP stuff:
5. Neerco may be OP but I will NEVER godmode or use that OPness against your characters without explicit permission. I usually have him use it to fuck with NPCs.
6. Do NOT godmode my character or metagame information yours shouldn’t know. That’s rude.
7. IC =/= OOC, I don’t use my characters as mouthpieces. If I have a problem with you or an issue I need to bring you, I will bring it to you in private.
8. PLEASE don’t reblog my drabbles!! Or my headcanon posts. This is a roleplay blog, not a fandom blog. If it doesn’t say ‘okay to reblog’ then don’t reblog it!!!
9. OPEN TO SHIPPING! Characters MUST be over 18 for personal comfort reasons. Toxic yaoi is the only way Neerco here flies!
10. I am an impulse roleplayer, that means I reply or I don’t sometimes. Teehee. I will also unfollow for any reason, and I will not tell you why. For my own sanity’s sake.
11. Potentially triggering themes: torture, possession, abuse, controlling, behaviour, jealousy, sexual scenarios etc.
12. OH BTW I LOVE BEING MULTI-FANDOM FRIENDLY!!! that’s my bread and butter!
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3, 6, 13, 34, & 35!! ( gibs u both salty AND sweet :D )
( in which i was supposed to be salty @ roleplayers but instead i just yell at tumblr staff incoherently / accepting ! )
3. what’s your favorite thing about your mutuals ?
aah, there's so many things i could say !! first of all, they're all very inspiring. whenever i see you guys on my dash, killin' it with your writing and ideas, it inspires me to be more creative. and active. i don't check my dash that often because i try to minimize my distractions during the day; but i bet if i checked it more, the inspiration would make me more active JASJAJJ. another thing i love to see is how the mutuals i have are all very supportive of each other !! liking posts, commenting, and being very warm and welcoming to each other. ; u ; i'm picky about who i follow, so i only follow the best. ;)) wink wonk
6. what’s one thing the rpc has to realize ?
most of us are over-thinkers. that thing that you are assuming about that other rp'er ( e.g. they must not like me because they didn't respond to my ask; OR they don't want to write with me because if they had they would have reached out; OR they probably think they're 2 cool for me because i don't use fancy aesthetics . . . all the thoughts we have like THAT ) are most likely not true. most things have simple explanations, and are not that deep. our anxious brains just like to overcomplicate things. : D I know that for me, if I did not want to write with someone, or if I did not like them . . . I would just unfollow them or not follow them in the first place !! it's dat simple asjjaja. so if you're mutuals, try not to worry so much about little things and overanalyze them !! if you come here & focus on having fun and exercising your creativity, and focus on that, and your friends, instead of rejections ( real or perceived ) and worrying over what you can't do and can't control . . . you will have a WAY better time! : )
13. what’s underrated in the rpc ?
touching grass.
jk jk but actually only half jk. but all of the partners i have rn are people with lives outside of rp and other hobbies and stuff to do, and yes, that means we tend to be slower with our replies & all, but . .. it's so much better, ngl. it sounds stupid but fr, having a life is IMPORTANT, okay; people are less likely to get over-sensitive abt rp stuff, less likely to become overly invested to the point that replying to your threads becomes an obligation / burden instead of good fun, and it also helps lessen the over-thinking mentioned above...
when it comes to what the rpc writes tho ? hMMmm...
i think continuity and single-verse stuff is kind of underrated !! like, having verses ( or even entire characters/blogs ) where everything is under ONE single timeline. so if you have a thread with Bob and in that thread, Bob chops off your characters' arm, from then on, your character has ONE ARM. periODT !! unless they get a cybernetic arm or magically regrow it, etc. . .
this comes with it's own set of challenges & is PRETTY FREAKING hard to do in rp, but I think it is REALLY fun & rewarding when it works !!! i love all the twists and turns and the spontaneity of it.
and if too much happens, there's no reason you can't just... reset back to the beginning!
34. what’s the best part about being in the rpc on tumblr ?
ooh for me, the best thing has been meeting a community of like-minded, similar writers : D bc yes, I’ve met plenty of other writers irl and online places besides tumblr, but… they don’t GET ME like my tumblr mutuals do ajdjsj. I rly thought I was a crazed weirdo because of how passionate I was about my characters, and how I can think about them all day & relate every little thing back to them … until I joined tumblr :’) tumblr turns a solitary, isolate hobby into something community-based, where we all collaborate and expand each other's universes, and i just genuinely think that's a really cool writer-y thing. very niche, very hard to explain to people outside our community ... but i think it's rly fun n uNIQUE. and I think I would have gone crazy if I didn’t have tumblr to scream to about character things svfdd
35. what’s the biggest problem in the rpc ?
that's a good question ... there's a lot of flaws in the rpc, but there's a lot of good things, too. there are a lot of problems that could use improving, but i don't know how to rank one as the 'WORST'. i do think that what i talked about in #6 is a possible contender for the biggest problem, because if we're all avoiding each other and too scared to talk to each other, that kills rp. but it's hard to change that and i feel like the rpc has talked about it enough. 🤷 i don't really have anything else to add or any other solutions. meh. i don't care that much either. i don't think the rpc will ever really die, so it's whatever asjjaj. ( correction: it may die on TUMBLR, but there's plenty of other places to rp if it does. roleplayers are like cockroaches; WE NEVER DIE. )
so instead, i'm going to say: THIS SHITTY ASS BETA EDITOR. I HATE THIS THING. WHAT THE FUCK. the biggest problem in the tumblr rpc is definitely that tumblr staff tries to 'fix' things that were never broken. they hate us and want us all to suffer. we are in hell, being punished for the crime of being tumblristas. i'm not one of those people who hate anytime a website has a minor ui change or whatever-- i didn't care about twitter adding 50 buttons. i'm not opposed to change if it's for innovation or a new feature or look or whatever, even if i don't personally want that feature........ but tumblr doesn't even fix anything: they replace what was there with something of inferior quality every time. how the fuck do you run a website worse than elon musk. not even muskrat has ruined the basic functionality of a text editor, tumblr....... honestly mind-boggling. > : [
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How can a 41 yr old not comprehend the fact that the people who you are around with as in friends and dating and hang out with and is everything. Its like high school cliques. People of like minds and view always hang out together otherwise why are you hanging out and are together.
I knoenthere are so many fans out there that like myself that can't support or be a fan of someone who supports racism anti semitism and homophobia or being fat phobic.
He did Red Sea Diving Resort i hope he got a angry call or text from the director and producers and the writer of the book for now supporting and being with antisemitic people. He shitted on them and Jews. I'm happy for Jenny that she got away from him.
If it was PR move so netflix will give him the Gene Kelly project in exchange for free warrior nun pr -it was the worst move of his career. Some one on a blog said the Mario cart video was to humiliate her or looked it- is his version of crying for help or maybe he's an asshole and were finally seeing him for who he is.
If he actual is dating her and choosing to hang out with her friends too and not having extra ppl there cause he can't stand to be alone with her its just sad to see he lied about caring about so many diffrent things
.. (nothing about age idc about that once you're 18 it doesn't matter legally. Dicaprio has had an age thing for forever and that's the difference he doesn't date someone whose views are disgusting and hateful)
I wonder how Scott feels about her, given homopbobia she and her friends have shown.
Agree. We are absolutely reflections of who we spend our time with. My close friends are very like minded to my same values and thoughts. I will cut people off, no hesitation who bring turmoil to that part of my world.
Don’t get me wrong, I get along with my coworkers because it makes my work life easier, but outside of work, it’s a non issue because I don’t allow them into that area.
PR probably works so much differently than we even know, but you are absolutely correct in saying this has been the worst move of his career. I don’t buy into this being real. I’ve flipped and flopped, but seeing the pap walk and WDW in action along with the absolute forced and manufactured feel of the IG stories cemented me in this is not real.
He’s always been private and protective of the ones he cares about. That’s what is so different about this. It is being forced out in overkill because there’s no need to address every single issue we’ve discussed with pictures.
That being said, it in no way excuses what’s happened now. Do I think he woke up and just said fuck this, I no longer care about racism, antisemitism, body shaming because look at this pussy!? No. I don’t. But by continuing this charade and allowing his team to double down instead of addressing any of this is a massive mistake. As I’ve said, this has become the ultimate fuck you to those of us who still attempted to see the good in him. We’ve been told we don’t fucking matter and what he’s fought against was purely for his own agenda.
He is losing massive amounts of his fan base, and at first I’m sure no one batted an eye. We’re crazy, remember? But look what went along with that. He is consistently called out on all posts and comments. He may not read every single one, but he still has to have some idea of what’s being said. I cannot imagine anyone would be okay with being perceived the way he is right now without it affecting him somehow.
So here we are: he’s now set to do two Comic-con appearances, trying to attach his image back to that of Steve Rogers, and not the person he is currently. Now he has to try and win back some of his fans. Who knows, Seb managed to bounce back from Ale, but he also has worked tirelessly to show his fans he’s not what they thought he was. I don’t know if Evans will do that. I hope so.
We know how his mother feels. Scott has barely interacted with them at all, he unfollowed Justin early on and never really commented on her shit before she ran away. But to see this distance, this schism in the relationship between him and his family, that’s the saddest part to me. I would love to believe he would never be with someone as vile as she is, and that he would never subject his family to that. And to an extent, we’ve seen that. They’re always isolated in pictures and videos. We don’t see her in any family photos and that’s pretty telling also.
As far as him humiliating her? I have not one ounce of anything for her. If he is humiliating her, I couldn’t care less. I may sound like a giant bitch for this, but she lied about a traumatic event to garner attention. I actually at one point did feel some sympathy for her, seeing how her family and friends exploited her in her career. But she pulled that fake kidnapping story, and any ounce of good will or sympathy I had was gone.
That was beyond reprehensible. Beyond disgusting. Add that in to what we see now and know, she deserves every bit of karma and bad energy she gets. She is a master manipulator, she has used every trick to stay relevant and manipulate her fans and this fandom, and she deserves to receive whatever karmic payback she’s got coming.
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What happened? You okay?
Thanks. I'm okay.
OK. So I tried to write a kind, thoughtful response to this and my phone deleted almost the entire thing. So I'm going to try again, not sure how well I will do.
I had a friend on the Internet. I liked that friend. But it turns out we were probably incompatible. This friend is somebody who seemed to need a lot of external validation. I am a person who is happy to offer support, but if you ask me for my opinion, I am going to be honest. Not to be mean, but because I'm really bad at lying.
Anyway, this person did something that I thought was rude. Initially, I said nothing about it. But this person came to me looking for support. They suspected that I had thought they'd been rude, because I had unfollowed their tumblog, and they asked me about it. They wanted me to tell them that really they hadn't been rude, that what they had done was totally understandable, and that if I had been upset by their behavior, I was wrong to have been upset.
(Keep in mind throughout this whole thing that I am not a mind reader. When I say that this person wanted something or thought something or said something, it's all my perceptions. They likely perceive the situation otherwise.)
Anyway, I did not say or do the things that this person wanted me to say or do. This person felt betrayed. They said they did not feel that they could trust me any longer, and they did not want to continue our friendship. They blocked me on Tumblr, which I wasn't thrilled with, but fine. I am nothing if not loud about people being free to curate their own Tumblr experience, and if this person needed to block me to feel OK on Tumblr? Then that's what they needed to do.
The thing is, it should have ended there. But it didn't. Because, on and off in the weeks/months since, I would get messages from other friends. “so and so seems really angry with you. What happened?” “So and so says you betrayed them/have it out for them, and I want to get your side of the story.” and finally, the one that bewildered me: “so and so says you are stalking them on [other platform].”
first, let me say that whenever this happened, my response was something like, “thanks, I appreciate your concern, here's my side of the story, but also, in the future when this person says negative stuff about me, I'd rather not know about it.” because really. I have enough problems. This world has enough problems. I don't need this on top of it.
Second, the first two questions did not shock me, but the last one? That was a little bewildering. So I did some thinking and maybe I figured it out?
In addition to both being on Tumblr, this person and I are also on at least one other platform. On one of these other platforms, when you log in or have the platform open in your browser, other people who you are “friends” with or in a group with can see that you are there. You don't have to interact with them, you don't have to be checked into the group that you share with them; but if they look, they will see your icon.
So I guess, every time I went to this other platform, this person thought that I was there to see what they were doing?
This is how illiterate I am on this other platform: When I initially signed up, I somehow was able to figure out how to post and reply, but then I went away for a while, and when I came back I couldn't figure out how to do it anymore. I don't know if it was just me forgetting or the platform changing. Anyway, I literally didn't figure out how to do it properly again until last week.
Yesterday, I went into a group where we are both members. I reacted to a noncontroversial, neutral-type post there with a pretty neutral reaction on my part (I think it was a thumbs up or a smiley face?). To be clear, the post was not by this person. I am not stupid. This person blocked me on Tumblr, I'm not going to go try to interact with them directly on other forums.
Anyway, this was the first time I had interacted on that forum in a while, due to just having overcome my platform illiteracy. Sometime later in the day, when I went back to this platform, I noticed that the group where I had reacted had disappeared from my groups. Had the group been shut down? I asked around. Nope. I had been kicked out of this group.
Oh well. Was I miffed to be kicked out of a public forum (because it had been public up until then, hadn't even required an invitation or an e-mail address to participate) without any warning? Sure, for a while. Hence my flailing of last night.
But look. It’s not going to kill me. It’s an internet forum. Sure, I like chatting and listening on the Internet as much as the next person, but I also survived the first two decades of my life without ever doing that once, so again, it's not going to kill me.
Is it shitty? Yeah, I guess. But honestly, most of the shitty feelings I feel in relationship to this whole debacle are probably my past traumas being dragged up by this, as much as the situation itself.
The 12 step group I used to belong to has a saying: “detach with love.” Here's how I interpret that. Sometimes, people I care about are going to have strong feelings. It's up to me whether I want to share in those feelings or not. Someone can be angry at me, lash out at me, whatever. It's up to me to decide whether that anger is justified. It's up to me to decide whether or not to also be angry at myself.
And it's also up to me whether to be angry back. Like, maybe the initial flood of adrenaline etc. isn't up to me, but the decision to stay in that anger and brooding is up to me.
And I don't want to stay there.
So my focus right now needs to be just about anything but this situation lol. Sure, I can grieve it. But I can’t live in it.
With that in mind, if anyone reading this thinks they know who I'm talking about, I have the same request that I have shared privately with people: Please don't share with me what this person is saying about me unless it is truly a need-to-know situation, e.g. they have doxxed me, they are threatening me in a way that is truly concerning, or, conversely, they have gained a completely different outlook on the situation and want to reconcile.
Thanks.
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[I wrote most of this earlier. I wandered in and out of dissociation throughout. I thought this would be something easy to talk about. I always think it will be easy.]
(the previous was obviously not the trigger warning I intended it to be, sorry)
[tw: sex, sexuality, unwanted sexual attention, rape, CSA, gender dysphoria, body dysphoria]
(I hope that covers it. I hope it covers the whole fucking lot of it.)
--
Apparently, this is the point where I loop back over the subject of gender.
I told a friend that if I could look like her, I would transition. Just half an hour later, another friend reblogged the poll about certainty of one’s gender.
If I could look like my friend, I would immediately go out to wherever people could see me, and I would revel in not being seen. And I would probably be traumatized quickly, because this friend was complaining that her body is overly sexualized.
What I like most about the body I have is that I can blend into the background. I do not attract attention. It has been rare for anyone to be overtly attracted to this body [in my time] (mostly, people are attracted to our heart and mind, and the body is not an objectionable container).
What I hate most about this body is that it is suspect, understandably and necessarily so. I must always expect to be perceived as wanting sexual gratification and as unwilling to accept “no” for an answer. I hate that I cannot just be a human being among human beings.
--
Angela was fetishized. I cannot cope with that.
From what my friend says, her body is also fetishized.
In both cases, our culture leans toward victim blaming. “If you would dress to express extreme shame and loathing for your body, maybe then you would not be asking for it.”
--
My friend is a wonderful person. I got to know her before I saw her photos. I struggled for a while with whether I should unfollow, after I saw her selfies. Living as a middle-aged man, people assume I am on tumblr for one reason – the same reason my friend copes with every day. My friend does not dress to express extreme shame and loathing for her body, so people assume she is asking for it.
--
My brain goes offline. I am not asexual, but maybe that is part of the problem. I traumatize myself, possibly more often than I realize.
The mere perception of anyone fetishizing anyone else – against their will – sends me into dissociation. It does not matter which “anyone” I could be in a given perception,
--
I am not sure what I am writing anymore. I want a body that cannot be fetishized, although I am sure someone out there would find that sexy. I want a body with no trace of sexuality. I want to be able to talk with my friends without anyone concluding I am just a desperate sexual organ trying my chances with what I perceive to be another sexual organ.
I do not like the connotations behind a middle-aged man talking with a young woman. I do not like that I had to risk these implications to offer the support I feel a friend needed. I do not like that If I said the wrong thing, my effort could have produced the opposite result and made her feel still more sexualized.
My friend was grateful for what I wrote (anonymously) and said that she felt “seen.”
--
I think it is obvious that I am pretty messed up right now.
I saw a need to validate a friend’s humanity.
I would do it again without hesitation. It has to be done.
But I also know the times it was not done.
And that is what has me shaking and crying and feeling nauseous.
The times when this body was not human in the eyes of others.
That we were too bad, too stupid, and too worthless for anyone to care.
That we were "obviously asking for it."
--
Angela’s time was years before my friend from today was born. People like Angela were not human beings. Angela was a diagnosis in a psychiatric hospital (Gender Identity Confusion). Angela was just a homosexual who got confused by the clothes he wore to attract men to satiate his deviant wantonness.
Angela had to travel two states away, to find company with other such deviants. We had to go to gay bars because we would not be allowed entry anywhere else. We risked arrest on charges of vice. We had to go as a group for safety in numbers. Even the gay waiters in the gay bar were disgusted with us.
And when Angela got what she was “asking for,” there was nothing we could do about it. Telling anyone would require admitting we left the safety of acceptable society to keep company with inhuman deviants.
We were already the family scapegoat. A liar.
We had already, at a much too early age, employed our wanton deviousness to lead the father astray by looking too much like our sister.
--
In writing to a friend, I wrote to this body and to its occupants.
As much of my heart as I put into the words I wrote to a friend, the words fail to be heard by us. They are too little, too late. We heard no such words in the long months we spent in the hospitals.
We were kept and we were stared at, this boy who looked like a girl.
--
In ordinary circumstances I do not interact much with my friend. We are not that close, either here or irl (five time-zones difference, I believe).
But when I read what she wrote this morning, their need was right here, in front of me.
Their need is my need. Is Our need.
I know this person well enough to know that they needed someone to say something, to do something, many times in the past.
If I can be there. If I know. I cannot remain idle. I cannot be exactly what they need, and I may always be too little and too late, but I cannot look away.
How failed a human being can look away?
--
[maybe TMI]
I am ashamed that I am covertly hypersexual (alone), but I frequently dissociate during, and never finish.
Can it be more complicated?
Yes. Apparently, it can.
I have seminal fluid hypersensitivity. I am allergic to myself (and others, we discovered the hard way) (with our first boyfriend) (it does not help a guy’s ego to learn that his junk makes you sick) (we so wanted to prove ourselves and ended up embarrassed and ashamed instead). Without care, and sometimes with, I can be burned, inside and out. The burns can last an hour or two before they fade into mild discomfort.
Since the allergy is not limited to the finish (much to our boyfriend’s disappointment), I sometimes dissociate to where I do not take the necessary care, and then I have an hour or two to wallow in my burning shame.
The allergic burns may have lead to the breaking of the amnesia. There were many other events at that time, but an allergic reaction to a cooking oil bore a strong resemblance to the burns we experienced after the rape, and in locations my heterosexual lifestyle has not replicated.
--
This has been exhausting.
The subject of gender is a direct link to trauma.
The subject of sexuality is a direct link to trauma.
Both are burdened with heavy shame.
Both also appear to be ongoing arguments within the system.
I write that I am ambivalent about my gender and would sooner leave well enough alone – and with no awareness of contradiction, because there is none in the moments of writing – I write that I would transition in a heartbeat if I could have every hint of maleness removed. I know both statements are true. [I forgot that I have also written that I would like to have all sexuality removed from the body.] [Or just the body itself.]
--
I think I will write a simple thing, and then my head explodes.
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I'm in some kind of abusive cycle with the blog where people submit their dreams. I love hearing people's dreams, so I follow it thinking it's going to be interesting, and then I have to unfollow because it feels like 90% of the posts are about celebrities and fandom shit, then I forget about it for a while until a really cool/funny/scary/weird dream gets reblogged onto my dash, then I follow it again out of some kind of moronic optimism, and pretty soon I remember why I unfollowed it the last time. I'm not sure which possibility is the worst,
a) that for the most part people only submit dreams involving celebrities or fandoms because they assume no one cares about anything else,
b) most of the submissions are made up but nobody has the brain power to invent anything that doesn't involve celebrities or fandoms,
c) actually a large volume of young people's dreams really are about celebrities and fandoms, like a lot of tumblr users just don't even dream about anything else.
Now that I've typed it all out I'm pretty sure (c) is the worst of all possible worlds, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were really true for a lot of people just based on the sort of online behavior I see. There's a reason the "blorbo from my stories" post blew up (and I often wonder if that person regrets it), about how you can post the most random non-human image possible and you'll still have people in your notifications explaining how it somehow represents whatever their main fandom thing is; "fandom" doesn't describe an interest or even a community anymore, its more like this condition of extreme narrowing of perception and cognition down to like one subject, and somehow this is something you're proud of. Seeing people reblog the blorbo post not to co-sign what OP was saying, but to say "Yay this is totally me!!!" with no sense that they're being criticized was really disturbing. There's actually an even worse version of this where somebody broke down the most common (generally sexual) characterizations and scenarios in fan fiction specifically to show how much of this content just perpetuates really ugly stereotypes and bigoted attitudes, but the fandom people got it and reblogged it like "Yay this is totally me!!!" while OP was going...oh my god doesn't anyone understand what I said? There's this kind of scary, culty "FANDOM GOOD" thing that's like so pathological that it actually affects people's reading comprehension and makes them unable to even perceive criticism unless you push things to the extreme and bring nazis or pedophiles or something into it, you have to go so far as to tell someone they're a bad person to break through with them.
Anyway I know this isn't a scientific fact but I agree with the popular notion that dreams are a way of processing experiences and feelings that you're not done chewing on yet. For the most part your dreams should be made up of things, however filtered they are through symbolic language, that are somehow unresolved for you. You shouldn't be closing your eyes at night and just seeing a stream of the exact same pacifying stuff you choose to watch on TV. If that's happening more than once in a great while, you might have given yourself some form of brain damage, and I'm only being slightly sarcastic about that.
(Actually I think it's probably abnormal if you have a lot of wish fulfillment dreams in general; I used to have this friend who turned out to be completely toxic and nuts, and he was always happy to tell me these dreams he had where like he's a cross between Batman and Superman and he punishes everyone who was ever mean to him and then everyone worships him and he becomes the king of the universe or whatever. And I always thought oh my god, why isn't he embarrassed by this, if I had dreams like that about myself where I'm the best person ever and everyone else is either my victim or my slave, I don't think I would repeat it to anyone! But ANYWAY)
I've probably written this post before without even realizing it, which means I have my own problem where I need to disconnect from this thought process. Tumblr used to be a place where you could see weird, cool, interesting stuff that didn't really exist elsewhere, and it was reasonably easy to curate your experience; now the fandom thing is just at such a critical mass that it feels like you're always about one degree of separation from it no matter what you do. When capacity made that post the other day about how you can't even search for any media you're interested in on tumblr because all you get is the fan activity around the thing and not the thing itself (or god forbid your search involves a normal English word that happens to relate to a fandom, then you're really fucked)--when I first saw that post it had almost 8,000 notes and it was only 7 hours old. Whether you're someone who likes it or not, everyone knew what that was about, we are all experiencing it.
I would probably be slightly less bothered if I just let myself think that all the celebrity and fandom posts clogging up that dream blog are mainly just made up, due to whatever compulsion makes people make up inconsequential bullshit on the internet. I remember when FML was a thing, and at first it was kind of fun and kind of like this shared catharsis thing, but pretty quickly it became full of obviously fake stories that were so extreme they weren't even funny, like if someone said those things out loud in your presence you'd just feel sorry for them, that they want attention so bad they'll tell degrading lies about themselves to get it. Actually though the site started to degenerate into basically two kinds of content, which were not necessarily mutually exclusive, but it was always either people telling degrading lies about themselves for attention, or people telling elaborate stories about how they ate all kinds of poisonous garbage and then they shat themselves in public. And for one thing, I don't think it counts as a proper FML if you deliberately did something that was not a good idea and then immediately suffered the most predictable consequences, you know like eating hot cheetoes in gravy and washing it down with a liter of grape soda and then shitting your pants is kinda the same as "I knowingly stepped in front of a speeding car and it hit me and I was badly injured and now I'm in the hospital, fuck my life!", it's not really a surprising misfortune or irony, it's just something you did on purpose because you have no self-control even though only one outcome was possible. But I always had the feeling that the pants-shitters were American, and like obviously America has a problem with junk food, so I started to wonder if everywhere you go here you're just always near at least one person who is one more bad decision away from shitting their pants. Maybe it's true, I dunno, it's starting to seem likely. Maybe we should just change the name of the country to Pantshitsylvania and get it over with, it's probably what we deserve.
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Where did you get the idea Joe outgrew Taylor? Listening to Renegade sounds like the opposite to me, he was so caught up in his head with his anxieties and could never get past them. Taylor ended up being more than he could handle so he withdrew like a little boy.
It's just my speculation because from the outside looking in - he stopped trying. He clearly choose his career over her and rightfully so. Anyone here can say otherwise - and its fine coz we all have our own opinions and perceive things differently. But that's just how I see things. He prioritize his career and I think Taylor was okay with that, that's why she did most of the work following him around the world. Until probably she thinks its too much.
The unfollows from her friends made me side eye the situation a little bit though - coz I thought they will ALL remain friends.
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Sat Thinking
It's raining outside - the image is almost for irony's sake!
A wet Thursday morning when I should be out with a client taking a series of photos; instead, I am sitting in front of the computer catching up on the inexorable amount of admin any business generates.
The kettle is on and I've reached a natural pause in the work...but didn't have any plans to update this blog...until I thought about the various conversations I've had with friends and clients, both in-person and online over the past few days.
There are a lot of things flying around my mind; unstructured, random thoughts that make me wonder about how my photography is perceived.
I've seen a few newly launched websites of fellow photographers...that look brilliant...and then I look at my longstanding site, that essentially is a portal to news and events libraries that I've covered personally (not on behalf of agencies) and suddenly I feel very, very inadequate.
It needs an overhaul...desperately!
Another thought muscles in to add to the uncertainty...
I don't post on social media for the pleasure of others and I certainly don't play the numbers game...but in one 24 hour period this past week I noticed that I had lost around ten followers on a particular platform.
Why? What had I done? What had I posted that others didn't like?
Twitter in particular reflects where I am, what I am doing, and how I feel...so to try and censor that account and only post what I hope to be 'popular' images...for example never post any cricket photos...then that would counter my beliefs and hypocritically go against all I have written and espoused in the past decade (essentially my ethos is to post what makes me, as a photographer, happy and not second-guess and post for others).
So my attitude is...if those ten followers unfollowed, then they weren't interested in what I do and who I am...so I am glad they have gone away.
But I do wonder why I get so little interaction on some of my posts...when others can get an order of magnitude more for images I find little more than poor snapshots.
But that is a dangerously irrational thought, bordering on jealousy...and not becoming. It's not right and if I entertain that seriously, it says more about me than them.
It's a destructive set of thoughts that I refuse to dwell on...idiot!
So am I feeling imposter syndrome? Is there an unhappiness of where I am? Is it just restlessness?
I'm not sure...maybe a little more thinking is needed. I'll get back to you.
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thinking about the posts about being uncomfortable with how total strangers will talk to each other on the internet, like being overly aggressive over nothing or bringing up very serious topics uninvited, and i think part of it is about dehumanization (treating people online differently than people irl bc they can't perceive online profiles the same way) but a lot of it is also about the lack of access to resources.
yes, it is common courtesy to be nice and polite (besides bigots, of course), and it is definitely inappropriate to suddenly treat a stranger like your best friend or your therapist, and i would hope that people recognize that. i'm not saying that those are okay ways to interact with someone. in terms of bringing up serious topics and trauma and life stories, it's also inappropriate outside of spaces designed for those topics, but i know how it feels to feel like they can't talk about something/have nobody to talk to about it/be too ashamed to talk about it to someone they know irl, and the only other choice is to scream it into the void online.
some of my accounts are full of me screaming my pain into the void, and if someone doesn't want that, they can blacklist tags or unfollow me, and i wouldn't be upset about that bc they're establishing their boundaries and that is good. and i would argue that since none of my accounts are linked to my true identity, there's no real harm in venting on my personal accounts. but sometimes you just need someone to know. you just need someone to hear you. and sometimes people are desperate and don't respect boundaries and scream their pain at or around others who are not connected to it and can't and are not obligated to help.
i really do feel empathy because i know how it feels to need someone to know and hear your pain, but i also have empathy for the people who are suddenly exposed to personal traumas and potentially triggering topics that they didn't sign up for, because some random person decided to send an ask/leave a comment/etc about something very personal and very uncomfortable. i really feel like if these people who are clearly going through very serious problems are acting this way had access to proper mental health treatment, therapy/meds/whatever, they wouldn't be acting like this. they need a space where it is okay and even good to be very open and clear about what hurts them. that space is 100% NOT someone's comments/DMs/askbox. if you find yourself acting this way - and i say this as someone who has found themself venting too much to friends - please pursue mental health treatment. i'm seeing a therapist now because i know that that is a place where it's okay for me to be open about what i'm dealing with.
i dont really have a conclusion besides Please Be Nice And Respectful To Each Other
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oh that's amazing!! also if i remember correctly your midterm is due today i hope everything went well and just in case you're still working on it (or if you're working on anything else really) i'm sending more good academic vibes since they apparently seem to work 😊
i did like it in theory but it was just slightly too upbeat for me atm 🙈 however i will add it to my happy playlist too bc it's really perfect for that and i'm glad you enjoy your happy playlist so much 😊
oh my god 8 hours look at you go! i'm really hoping that'll continue bc i'm very worried about your sleeping habits 😅
listen i love my formatting power so much i can't believe i get to do all these things now
that is correct noah kahan really just can't disappoint. i mean at first i was a bit wary of pride but now i listened a couple of times and i love it
(i wanted to keep this format for one more ask at least but i'm gonna put the blink stuff at the end)
... i wear that so often 😅 it's the perfect thing for autumn bc like it's too cold for just a leather jacket but i'm also not willing to wear a coat bc that's too warm so mix of hoodie and leather jacket = perfection. it's all about comfort and me being obsessed with wearing leather jackets
i'm very happy to hear that 💕 also hope that'll not come crashing down you deserve this! i'm okay-ish. not too bad but i start an internship next week and that's very scary for a couple of reasons and also the fucking time change fucked over my sleeping habits but i'm drinking lots of tea so at least i'm hydrated
okay thank you very much for the recs i already know two or three of them and love those so that's something and i don't mind at all that they're mostly from one album don't worry 🙈 and i think i'll bother heath about it when i listened to your recs and need more but thank you for the idea already 😊 & oh well what i've perceived to be blink essentials are i miss you, all the small things, what's my age again and first date. like those are just the ones i heard about most. however i do also know always (love it) and also going away to college bc you mentioned them in your fics 😅 OKAY WHAT THE FUCK spotify is really listening it just started playing always!! love that -fiancee
yes my midterm was due today!! well technically yesterday. BUT i actually turned it in on monday!!!!!! it was done and submitted a WHOLE DAY EARLY!!!! idk who the fuck i am but i’m proud of her. the academic vibes are responsible i’m sure so thank you
okay fair enough !!!! yes thank you it’s nice to have a playlist specifically for feeling Happy you know? so. yeah. and i KNOW right??? absolute insanity and i will probably get eight hours AGAIN tonight maybe more if i’m reeeeally responsible SO LIKE???? who AM i !!!!!!!!
okay im not answering in a numbered list but....yeah. YEAH. pride. mmmm i’m gonna go listen to it right now actually GOD what a good fucking song i am seriously obsessed with noah kahan’s voice it’s just!!! it’s so!!!! like!!!!!!!!!!!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
.........i just like. i CANNOT understand that. i don’t wear jackets either i’m not a jackets person so if a hoodie isn’t warm enough then what a damn shame guess i’ll be cold !!! i’m very committed to the Aesthetic dflkgmdfklgmsfj......maybe I Am The Problem
well congrats on the internship!! i’m sorry it’s scary though BUT i have immense faith in you and am sending you good internship vibes. also good luck with the sleep schedule i am sure i will be having similar problems very soon when WE have the time change so wish me luck!! (or maybe my sleep schedule is too fucked for it to have an effect hmmmm we will see) however i am extremely envious of your tea and am glad to hear you’re hydrated at least
oh okay yeah i’d agree w those blink essentials. and also i would add the rock show but that might just be a me one who knows. oh and dammit!!!! def dammit. if you’ve not heard it then add dammit to the list of recs. also yes absolutely, no question that spotify is listening. for sure
#i have literally zero doubt in my mind. i know ive said it before and ill say it again#spotify IS telepathic and it IS reading all of my data up to and including my thoughts#but i'm FINE with it!! because it gives me GOOD SONGS!!!#lmao#fiancee anon#took me a sec to get to this thank u for the patience my love#i did however see you listening to noah kahan the other day and i went !!!#thats my playlist!!!!#retroactively: is it okay. that i followed you on spotify#i just like to perceive my friends BUT if you say no i can unfollow you say no more about it#yes i should def have asked beforehand i am sorry#okay love you x#anonymous#ask#answered
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