#i just havent had any today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ang3lv3rm1n · 8 months

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you ever just take a sip of water and then a gulp and suddenly you down a whole cup of water for no reason and then you realise you havent drank any water today and your like "woah im very silly"

#mmm water #water #i love water #cup of water #i drink water i promise #i just havent had any today #i forgor

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junosmindpalace · 3 days

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Kento needs something good in his life.

For most of his life he was fairly indifferent to a lot of things, his face often, if not always, chilled or some kind of annoyed. This seemed to be on the surface, perhaps, but Kento found pleasure within and among many things. Sakura trees, baked goods, the feeling of warm sand beneath his feet and cool ocean water washing it away.

They're the little things, even just thoughts of them, that keep Kento moving through this god awful world. As he gets older, goodness is found in even more trivial things, because with age also comes additional burden and various disappointment. Restock of a favorite product. Flowers in bloom. Small things that bring colour into a life that very frequently threatens to drain it all until he only knows to identify shades of grey and black.

The withering of leaves and flowers hanging onto dying branches amidst chilling winds, threatening to leave them completely bare, is when Kento is reminded more than ever that he needs you. He needs something good, something to work toward. Something to come home to. Something pleasant to fall asleep to. Something beyond material means to motivate him.

His work, in theory, serves him well enough. Pays him well enough if he sacrifices enough of his physical and mental strength to commit to working with difficult people and staring at a blue light that drains his energy almost as much as the routine of it all itself. In the end, he gets a paycheck, and that's what matters.

But truly, it makes Kento a little sick when he thinks that just can't be all life is. Meant to constantly choose which is the more daunting path. Meant to rot at some miserable desk around miserable people in a world that thrives off misery. When the leaves wither and gain spots, when the baked goods don't taste right, when even the thought of a satisfying future isn't enough to push out the nauseating images of curses, he needs something constant. He needs a good thing. He needs you.

You need something good in your life.

Beyond academics, beyond a 9/5, beyond completely busy and hectic days where, by the end, you struggle to remember half of it. Something besides validation from others, besides the constant need to catch up.

A rest would be good, perhaps. A rest from your responsibilities, a rest from the nonsense and vileness that spouts out of people's mouths on the daily, from the streets to your work to the bubbles on your phone. A rest to remind you that in this world, there was still something worth going on for. Something that made all the work worth it. That there was still time to do you, to be with someone who appreciated you. You need something good in your life.

And you've had something good, both of you: you've had each other. For quite some time.

Neither of you would've been able to predict that your futures would intertwine in such a personal and intimate way. Neither of you would've been able to predict from your high school years that you'd steadily fall in love with each other over trauma bonds and shop run-ins and whatever else there was. Neither of you would've fathomed sharing a home together, a small one, but yours, nonetheless.

Never would you both think that the good thing would consist of each other.

But it's been good. It's been grounding, it's helped you retain some semblance of identity and hope in a world that seems adamant on stripping it from you. Besides late-night conversations about bad memories and the heaviness of the world, there were joint cooking sessions. There were silly debates about nonsensical topics. There was reading together. There was indulging in each other's hobbies, when time made room for them. There were attempts at movie marathons: such as the one you were attempting tonight.

It usually never worked out because often you and Kento both came home exhausted from work, but sometimes a shower, a light dinner and a change of comfortable clothes was enough to wake you both just enough to want to spend the remainder of your energy together. So, you agree on trying a movie you've wanted to see for a while, making yourselves comfortable with blankets and pillows.

Your legs are sprawled over his lap, hugging a cushion pillow close to you as the arm of the couch supports your back. Nanami's slouched and still with his arms crossed over his chest. They'll occasionally come down to settle on your knees. It's a little after midnight, the only light resonating throughout your living room being the blue light from the television. The more time that passes, the more Kento becomes aware of the power it has over his senses, lulling him in and out of sleep. When he tilts his head against the cushion toward you, he can see from the crescents in your eyes that the effect was the same.

"Hey," he mutters quietly, gently nudging your side. "Don't doze off on me, now."

You object with a groan as you sit up against the cushion, lulling your head to look up at him. "M'not."

"Didn't look like it."

"Oh, don't start. I saw your eyes close."

"And you thought that'd save you?"

"Maybe."

Kento has never, but especially not since high school, believed that anything has any real permanence to it, besides maybe death. Everything is fleeting. Life is fleeting, he sees it in the shrivelled lines and drained colored from plants through the changing seasons as well as in the creases of skin and unusual paleness of corpses from the morgue. Routine is not always consistent, it's reminded when he's forced to work overtime, to take a detour to a location, when he falls behind some sort of schedule.

But when he looks over at you, takes in the small smile on your lips, the glow on your skin from the TV lights, he thinks of how badly he wants this good thing to last. Even though it's selfish, even though there was no guarantee that it would no matter the thought of a ring on your finger, there was something in him that wanted it anyway.

The only thing that holds him back from letting the question fall from his lips is the guilt he’d feel for not being more thoughtful in the gesture. No ring, no nice day spent together. Truly, he’d resent himself if he were to propose to you in such an undeserving, unaffectionate and unromantic way. But when he watches you with his head lolled to the side, your own eyes cheerfully boring into his as you sit in the dead of the night trying to enjoy some semblance of peace in your togetherness, he wants so badly to just say it:

Marry me. Let’s have something good.

You know, for good.

He holds his tongue though, and instead gives you a smile of his own, a small but meaningful curve of his lips. The TV light illuminates the sides of your faces, and soon enough the blue light and dialogue will lull you to sleep, and you’ll both abandon your movie session in favor of some much-needed rest. So he stands up from the couch before it could get to that point, letting your legs gently swing to the side to accommodates the sit up. He turns toward you, and offers both of his hands out. "Come on. Let's go to bed."

You whine in protest. "But the movie..."

"We'll finish it another time, promise. I have a day off, soon."

"Really?" A quiet gasp escapes you, and your smile gradually widens as you take hold of his hands as he aids in pulling you up and leading you down the hall.

"Next week, I'm pretty sure. We can do something."

"Not spending the whole day in bed."

"Awfully tempting."

He has a good thing, Kento thinks as you swat his chest, but he doesn't move his hand from your lower back to block at all. He has a goddamn good thing, he thinks when your chuckles break the silence within your home, and through the good, bad, and ugliness of it all, it'll be something that keeps some order and hope in his life.

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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months

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2023 Italian Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso

#I just realized i literally havent posted anything at all about this weekend aside from liveblogging #so i have to remedy that by at least gifing the old man even if he hurt me today #im gonna pretend this race didnt happen tbh #it just didnt do anything for me? i feel like this weekend's flew by in a way no other race weekend has in an unfortunate way :/#i feel like i didnt even experience a race weekend this wkdn aside from the liveblogging with people and thats kinda sad #i literally fell asleep for like 3 hours after the race hahaha #i knew monza wouldnt be great for aston but ugh hurts still. lets hope singapore is better!!!#i think it kinda just sucks when your fav is kinda just non existenant for the whole race #i had no idea what he was upto at any time of the race :((((#well at least hes always cute in his interviews #fernando alonso #fa14 #2023 italian gp #2023 monza grand prix #2023 italian grand prix #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #we do a little bit of f1

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elegyofthemoon · 2 months

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can someone remind me to write up my thoughts about gallagher and the enigmata later or at least compile them somewhere i want to share it but also my Goodness i am sleepy as heck today and i have work tonight 😔

#and its a saturday so its gonna be busy asldfjkasdlkah #im just. im so sleepy man #and i have to wake up early too for work tomorrow so i just. Im going to Die between today and tomorrow count on it #but at least on monday-wednesday ill make myself catch up on sleep #love the work but on the downside MY SLEEP.....#i forgot if i said it here. idk where i was posting bro #but the other day i 100% the theme park and am close to 100% dewlight pavilion so i'll be nearly caught up with all information #that + still need to read #but im also nearly caught up with all the reading in penacony too so thats super fun and exciting !!#but because of that i have thoughts askjdfalh #most of it is towards gallagher and the past of penacony and the watchmaker but. you know alskdjfalskjh #avil plays hsr #hsr 2.1 spoilers #just in case o7 #i will say though #its wild i havent run into any information regarding the dreammaster at all really #the one who adopted sunday and robin #who is the dreammaster? why does the dreammaster and watchmaker have beef with each other? whats going on?#where did the shift come from between the watchmaker being the father of penacony to the family being in charge #since the family and the watchmaker are kinda against each other #(shakes the game) I WILL KNOW YOUR SECRETS SOON ENOUGH. AS SOON AS I AM MORE AWAKE ITS OVER FOR YOU.#i wish i had someone to ramble about ideas with and like bounce off of #WE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF PENACONY! TOGETHER!#and then probably get our asses killed too by getting to close to the legacy 😔✌🏼 itd be the way of the truth

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cerebrobullet · 2 months

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.

#im going to lose my job in two months #so thats cool and not stressful #and i havent just been crying all day #i finally was making money i could live off of #and had a job that didnt stress me out and kill all my energy to live #im so tired #part of me is frantic to look for and apply to jobs right now #the other part can't stand to think about it any more today

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coridallasmultipass · 3 months

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Got my Dirk shirt all remade now, over a decade later, lol. The first one (from either 2011 or 2012, I don't remember) was on a thrifted shirt (bad idea, because it was already thinning, and costs the same, and it's RARE to find plain white shirts in a thrift store, so you don't get to choose the size - I had to alter the old one). I also accidentally bought shimmer paint because I thought "Pearl" meant the paint was matte. (Pearls are matte, they're not shimmer glittery!!) And I only had one size of good quality paint brush to use.

Now, I have new materials (still the wrong paint, because the store only had the 3D/textured paint in orange, but I made it work), and more brush sizes I can use. I still traced the shape and placement from the old shirt, both to save time, and also because it's like, using something from the old one to make the new one, like handing down the torch, or whatever sentimental reason. (The old one was traced off my old laptop screen, I think.)

I already made a mistake when I tried scraping off a microscopic paint fleck off the sleeve and accidentally held the black brush in my other hand and painted all over the shoulder and it wouldn't wash out, but I've decided that, that will be a grease spot from patching up Squarewave, so if you see the splotch in my future cosplay, 'it was intentional.' \></

So yeah. Here's to many more years of Homestuck cosplay, lmao.

#homestuck #dirk #dirk strider #striders #homestuck cosplay #cosplay #Cori.exe #Image.exe #Create.exe #dont ask me about my dave shirt or dirk tank top i already have too many projects on my plate i need to finish #...and i dont have base shirts for those. i didnt wanna have a project pile up in case i didnt get to this one #but hey i had the time and space to do this today so i got it done #((thank u medication that works lol))#side note i hate that clothes stop being functional after like 10+ years of wear #i mean my dirk tank is okay but i outgrew it #but my dave shirt is disgustingly threadbare and i had to move it to 'pj shirt only' a long time ago ...#... and i dont even wear it as pjs any more bc its that holey and worn down looking lol #but it was a pain in the ass to paint square pixels once so i havent remade it yet #hopefully later but who knows how much later. im not dave i just like his fashion. dont ask me about time.

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tinylilvalery · 6 months

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Can ya'll please let women be dirty, or unkempt, or fuckn idk, not overly sexualised and feminised? Can ya'll let women have their natural bodies without objectifying them? I'm fucking begging you to stop sanitising the appearance of your female characters.

#please #im begging you #please . as a dirtbag woman i need dirtbag women solidarity #i need that precious representation #Dirtbag Women #dirtbag women please #women that have not washed their hair in weeks #women who have not brushed their hair for even longer and don't style it because they can't be bothered and havent had a cut in months #women who have not washed in a week #women with dirt on their face #women without any make up because they cannot be fucked #women wearing the clothes that have been in the corner of their room on the floor and later realise when they're out it's got marks all ove #women walking around without a bra not because they have intention but because they can't be bothered to wear one today #women coughing and sneezing into the inside of their shirts #women who absolutely do not have a skincare routine and not out of pride they just cannot be bothered #women that want a boyf or a girlf but they don't have one because it stresses them out too much or jus cant be fuckt to date #or women that don't want to date anyone because they cant be fcuked #Like I'm so glad there are more fantastic female characters being written and designed who are actually allowed to be Human #but they still look WAY too manicured #and if they don't look manicured then it's a fucking Character Journey (retchhh) for them to get Manicured #NO.#LET WOMEN NOT GIVE A FUCK HOW THEY LOOK.

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bunnihearted · 4 months

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... </3

#i havent cared abt valentine's day in like 2yrs #before i've always cried nd been sad bc i've *never* had a valentine #or spent in a cute way or anything nd it used to make me soooo sad #but now im just HEARTBROKEN that i cant have any chocolate #listen chocolate is the ONLY reason to be alive #chocolate is better than air!!!!! it is all that is true nd real in this wretched world @_@#so im just incredibly sad that i cant eat choclage today... i want chocolate cake.. which i havent had in years #ughhhhh i want it 🍫🍫🍫🍫#just sitting here thinking abt all the variants u can eat chocolate in 🥲🥲🥲#just want all the chocolate but i cant eat any of it im soooooo sad i cant live without my chocolate #oh for context i meant that i have always had a chocolate treat on valentine's #when i was younger my mom always baked a chocolate cake that we all shared on valentine's heh :)

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louthelost · 7 months

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yall ever think about definitely-platonic-gal-pals Fire and Ice?

(progress shots under the cut)

#fire and ice #beatora #tora olafsdotter #beatriz da costa #fire and ice welcome to smallville #illustration #(ive been wanting to do art for so long but havent had ANY free time. then today I just lost myself for 6 hours and did this in one sitting #(my bad)#(but...them)#(they're just so... *gestures wildly*)#(and yes i did use the two women putting on makeup on the bed meme as a reference lol. it has their vibes)

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kennys-parka-jacket · 7 months

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Me when the seasonal depression hits and the mask of enthusiastic positivity starts to slip

#Getting 4-5 hours of sleep each night for the past few weeks hasnt helped either #Yeah man dont take care of your body or maintain a sleep schedule or anything. Just drink more coffee. What could possibly go wrong #Speaking of; i havent had any coffee today... maybe thats why im irritable. Which means i should have no coffee for at least another week #Fuck caffiene addiction. Fuck industries that rely on addiction. Fuck the normalization of caffiene dependency #Fuck the goverment for putting zero regulations on a mildly addictive drug. Fuck companies for putting that shit in everything #Fuck em. Fuck em in to hell

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aggressivenesswhilecrying · 8 months

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@toomanyfandomsorkinafs @skydoesthings now. I COULD just message you both, but why would I do that?

Now, would you both like to become friends on doulingo xykykdkyxykd

#im unwell #i havent had any caffeine today #its gotten bad #no caffeine #you know its awful just by that

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seariii · 4 months

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*casts ibuprofen spell* I hope your headache goes away soon <333

Thank you Rose, I love u. Can I sleep in your arms?

#id be really comfy there and it would certainly cure my headache because thats how that works a 100%#.... it just hit me i havent had water today.... and ive barely drank any liquids.... huh.... imma do that #seari answers

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circusclownfever · 1 month

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its fucking impossible to solo queue on apex now , ive had the same person tell me n the other teammate to kill ourselves n that we should get off and get a life BEFORE THE GAME EVEN STARTED . lvl 27 valks always have the most to say i swear . for the past 7 rounds , all my teammates wanted to do was rat , i dont give a shit about your valk quests , go no fill queue if you want to get them done . i dont think ive ever been screamed at this much before bcuz i couldnt pull off a 1v3 when my teammates couldnt even pull off a 2v1 . starting to get sick of new players that probably come from cod or another fps , keep your weird comms and crusty culture out of apex please , we already have enough of that . should i mention the lvl 400+ players that leave as soon as the match starts for no fucking reason at all ? its not respawn , its not ea , its not the game itself . its the players . this is literally a "hate the players , not the game" situation

#apex legends rant #apex legends #dude im so fucking sick of the players in this game #if i dont get a single good game #im just logging off #i literally cant go outside and other than minecraft - i dont play any other game #my solo queue matches were doing fine until today #logged on about 2 hours ago and i havent had a single good game that wasnt just my teammates ratting the entire time #nothing against ratters #but i would like to go kill people yknow ?#im writing a whole nother text post just ion the notes oh my god

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bugdogg · 10 months

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my room smells like chocolate and weed today, or im just craving both, dont know

#i havent had any of either in my room recently so idk #im just tired today..

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beautifel · 8 months

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i. hate that i cant ignore any longer how fucked up i am

#ask 2 tag idk what to tag this but its negative. idk if i’m hormonal or whatever. it’s just that i’m so extremely emotional lately #like i always havebeen but it’s insane lately and i know some of the reasons but i have no idea what to do abt it. which is bad #i wish i knew how to confront …it all. im so avoidant it is genuinely pathetic #and even if i wanted to confront anything iwouldnt know how… n how to tell ppl around me #the pains ive taken to ignore my issues over the yrs n by that i mean suppress the knowledge that they even exist Lmao it is so pathetic #let alone the pains ive taken to hide from other ppl that which im suppressing. and to hide how badly i cope with anything #like any problem at all not just things that have anything to do with The Thing #i finally told my girlfriend about something i never thought id ever say out loud to anyone n it was so hard #the whole convo was so hard bc shes dealing with so much too and shes been getting help for 3 yrs n i know #with her baggage of trauma a relationship is one of the hardest things #n ive never ever regretted our relationship but with the things we are both dealing wtih. or rather not dealing with in my case #it is so . hard.. and i feel like ive been so unfair bc i havent been getting help even tho i need it. and she has.#the sheer irony of me refusing to get help or even admit 2 myself i need it even tho im literally about to be the person who helps others #this cannot go on lmao. the only thing im sure about is that i wanna spend my life with her but with everything tht we have on our plate #its so.. unsure i feel so powerless . i cannot change the past i cant change either of our previous experiences #its so unfair how we risk losing the best thing that ever happened bc of things out of our control #ive genuinely never been more scared of anything than i am of the idea of losing this relationship #we had such a deep conversation today and it was necessary and good but god we’re fucked up people #so i .contacted the uni psych today finally but im so fucking scared and idk what to even say when i get there #ive never until today said it out loud ive never even written it down anywhere

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infizero · 1 month

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grgrhgahahh i wanna read more pokespe but i cant do it on my phone and im not unpacking my stuff until the morning

#this is not a real issue i am plenty entertained rn and also am going to be going #to bed soon anyways. i just am rlly in pksp mood #im in a pkmn mood in general lol ive been reading reguri fics as previously stated #but also i got back into legends arceus earlier today which i havent played in TWO YEARS. which is crazy #and man i fucking loveee playing pkmn i rlly hope they make the next #mainline game not half baked. i didnt get scarlet and violet bcuz of that :(#i had a playthrough of it in the bg but. its not the same #it makes me sad that im not up to date like i dont know any of the new #pokemon i dont know anything about SV's region or characters or story #i want to though. maybe ill get around to actually sitting down and watching a playthrough at some point #i also want to get caught up with pokespe in my reread so my first #experience w SV might be thru spe. which is weird to think about #thats never been the case for me with a pkmn game before #i mean. in terms of just being familiar w the game not playing it myself #i have not played every mainline pkmn game lol #my first one was pokemon pearl. which i never beat. but after that i #got alpha sapphire which i was CRAZYYYY obsessed with. i played that game to the bone til there was #literally nothing left to do other than grind to lvl 100 for the hell of it #pokemon moon is INCREDIBLY special to me for a number of reasons #mainly that it was my first pkmn game that i ANTICIPATED. i remember watching the trailers #over and over. every time they dropped new info i was eating it up. i remember when the starters final evos #were finally revealed i was so excited. and ofc the INSANITY that was the red and blue reveal. good times #but yes i similarly played the shit out of moon til there was nothing left to do. and it was the first one #where i was INCREDIBLY invested in the story. i cared and still care about the alola casrt #soooooo much they were literallyyy my friends. i drew them sooo much. and ofc lillie was one of my #most specialest little blorbos ever. i was in LOVE with her as a kid. it was serious #anyways and then i played pokemon sword which i also love dearly. i beat the main game but i #actually still havent finished the dlc.... but i also care very deeply about the galar cast and drew them a lot as well #and thats all not mentioning from my years long obsession with pokespe lol. but anyways yes #serena.txt

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